Everyone who enters my giveaway will win a free Bellesa toy or a MASSIVE discount for 🌶 toys: www.shopbboutique.co/vibe/imautisticnowwhat-yt We NEED to Discuss the Autism Speaks Rebrand Attempt.: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-qTQYubdlR24.html You might also enjoy this video where I talk about 5 things that are actually NOT signs of autism, despite what many people believe: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-5Hv1xg43PzM.html I feel like there’s a lot more I could say on this topic, but I’m excited to know what you think! If you missed the one reacting to the Harvard Psychiatrist who thinks obesity is the cause of autism: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-pR9bC9bHWRc.html Or if you want to look at some funny autism memes with me!: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-okCnoFC5WS4.html Anyway, back to listening to Tortured Poets now 😂😭💛
Yeah well she's an ABA therapist. I wouldn't take anything she says with a grain of salt, I'd take it with a whole salt shaker. For those who have trouble with idioms, that means that she does not need to be taken seriously because what she is saying is not accurate.
And she know so LITTLE about autism as an “autism professional” that she ignores the obvious fact that they work children whose autistic traits are recognized earlier. She COMPLETLY IGNORES the fact that a enormous percentage of autistic people internelize, suppress, and mask their struggles and challenges as autistic children be.g. or they are super quiet and introverted, isolate so they sometimes they aren’t diagnosed until their teens or adulthood. This “autism specialist” thinks “all austic kids” pass through her ABA training ignoring that autistic children can have a wide spectrum of autistic traits and behaviors. She is ignoring the fact that she has never even encountered autistic children with a different autistic profile than the narrow specific group she has worked with. It’s as if non-autistics psychologically need to express their superior status as Entitled Judges” on if we are autistic. And, if we do Autism Advocacy then we’re “Fake Autistics and grifters”. Brrr.
Yes. This. Although I actually find being autistic means that I usually only talk about topics I know a LOT about and so if you have some knee jerk opinion on the topic based on a headline or two you read, I will happily correct you for an hour because I want to share all my knowledge. Which makes them feel attacked because now I've technically decimated their original position. And now I'm the a-hole. So that's more how I experience this. I actually don't get anyone coming right and saying I don't look autistic... Which I guess means I do.
I'd bet money on it being because they have such deep rooted ableism, disgust or even hate for disability as a whole. It could remind me of the sentiment of "I'd rather die than be blind," or "I'd rather die than lose my arms." Very, very sad.
Like alot of things, its rooted in abelism. Since most saying this arent autistic, they cant possibly imagine finding joy in what they see as a condition or disorder. This goes for alot of differences/disabilities. Same reason why people say to those with amputations or prosthetics things like "im so sorry for you" when ita not needed or "youre so strong i wouldnt be able to go on if i was like you" they want these conditions gone because in a world made for them, its an outlier. This self loathing and pain can be present in nd people too, obviously in a world not made for us to be apart of it, its hard to be autistic sometimes. But thats different to feeling as if theres no joy for you yknow. I hope i was able to explain well
that's why I hate the "talking about mental illness in a not horrible way means you're glamorising!" rhetoric on social media is bullshit. Like you know a disorder can make you suffer but also have an upside to laugh about? Like I have DID and it's horrible in so many ways, wouldn't wish it on anyone BUT I'll definitely laugh about how one of my alters is super sarcastic and likes acting as if me and her have beef and making sarcastic snarky comments because it's her sense of humor or how another alter and my boyfriend get along so well and he hsas a GREAT time with her or whatnot. Doesn't negate the trauma, the suffering, confusion, anger, blahblah. 🤷🏼♀️ same for everything tbh. ESPECIALLY AUTISM THAT'S NOT A MENTAL ILLNESS AND YOU CAN HAVE A GREAT LIFE AND BE AUTISTIC AND BE SO HAPPY AHHHH
Allistics capitalizing on autism being more acceptable than autistics "glamorizing" it totally make sense, but only in our absolutely screwed up timeline
without their conent you mean. it's wrong to suggest people don't show their high support adult children's darknest momments. because , saying such words is saying "some people need to be hidden". trust me on it. someone told me that is wrong. like autismwarriormama. we can't say mean things about those videos. suggesting her son not be on social media.
@kaiyodei of course without concent we are tired of seeing abusive videos being posted to punish the child or talking about them like they are animals. These people should not be hidden but without care and concent, it just puts them in danger
@@kaiyodeiYou know, this has the same exact premise as revenge pr0n, but you don't see "autism moms" doing that... Because its illegal. You know, Posting someone's private and intimate moments online to punish them.
I’ve always been scared to wear headphones in public even though it helps me tremendously. Seeing a well known actress wearing them AND making them look cute makes me much less anxious about wearing mine.
In what situations would you need them and therefore are afraid? Like, would you need them at work and aren't allowed, or with your kids if you have kids? I'm asking bc I've always been a headphones girly who wears them everywhere and I think they are widely accepted as of now - especially lately with the bluetooth in-ears. And people don't know if you just have them with noise cancelling on or really listen the music. I also bought loops earprotection (look them up online) for when the earphones get too heavy on the crown of my head. I also use them in public spaces, cause they actually look cool and noone bothers you, BC they look like headphones. 😊
I really recommend looking up the loops earplugs. They are amazing and have different intensities and are actually quite affordable and a sustainable longterm option 😊 if you don't loose them lol I'm not am affiliate or smth, I'm just really convinced 😊
@@violakarl6900so many people have recommended loops to me! the pubs i work at had a few saturdays with live music, and it was one of the only times i was allowed to wear my headphones behind the bar. im not diagnosed, but it’s something that i relate to so hard, especially with having a high needs younger brother, that i feel like it’s what fits. using the same advice given to most autistic people has actually saved me in my daily life.
@@violakarl6900I’ve looked into these for my autistic daughter but I’m worried they will be uncomfortable bc she has sensitive ears so she usually prefers over the ear ones. 😬
Earplugs are what I use, I haven't tried headphones yet to compare so I don't know which is better/worse. Loop earplugs are really good though, I have the Quiet model and it gets rid of a lot of the little sounds like the damn electricity AND the big sounds. I went to a concert with them for the first time and I could hear the people I was with talking in the middle of the crowd mid performance, it blew my mind 😅
I'm not sure what autistic creators they're seeing if they think they're only showing the good parts. I'm afraid to go into the autism community on TikTok, but the RU-vidrs I follow share the challenges, but they also share some positive stuff too. I think that's important because autism or any other disability doesn't mean that your life has to just be one big marathon of suck your whole life. Personally I already know about the suck, so it's nice to see an autistic being happy.
@@Brainjoy01 well, there are a lot of accounts made by Level 3's Parents that often exploit them, and that's an issue by itself... As for those that go viral - well, they don't exactly control that 🤔
@@b666rchd5you can dance around it as much as you want but it doesn’t change the fact that autism is misrepresented and misunderstood thanks to TikTok and people only wanting to see the quirky cute parts of autism
I was commenting to someone i knew since childhood that I was an ugly duckling as a kid, and ostracized for it, and they responded, "You were always really pretty to everyone, you were just incredibly weird, and it was easier for everyone to say it was your apperance, vs something they couldnt quite put their finger on." And it completely changed my whole perspective about my chilhood. (This person wasnt saying it to be mean, I always ask for complete honesty, even if it might hurt my feelings and they were doing what i asked)
damn, you just blew my mind. I was always a normal looking kid, but i was pretty socially ostracized because i acted weird. I could never figure out why i wasn't cool and popular, i was convinced I wasnt "pretty" enough or something. But no, i was just autistic lol
Imagine telling Stevie Wonder that he's "glorifying" blindness because he wears different styles of super cool sunglasses all the time. How unbelievably stupid that would be... yet here people are telling Chloe she can't accessorize with an object she was gonna have to wear anyway... to a place where she will have her picture taken over and over and over.. i swear... *people.* i mean seriously: wtf...
Believe it or not, there are people out there who think that Stevie Wonder is faking his blindness. In fact, blind people have to put up with many of the same hardships as autistic people that are mentioned in this video when it comes to their disability because blindness, like autism, is a spectrum. Many people who are medically diagnosed as blind do have some vision, but severely limited. There are even cases of people testing blind people by placing obstacles in their way in efforts to try to prove that they are lying. It's unbelievable the kinds of things people do to other people who have medical conditions that they don't understand and don't bother to educate themselves about.
No one thinks your glorifying autism for decorating items you use. These people are glorifying autism because they are making it central to their personalities, playing into stereotypes, and recording themselves flapping their arms (which is strange on 2 levels, really) in a convenient and controlled way
I hate the "what about me" people on the Internet. "Oh, your Autism makes you seem quirky, but that's not _my_ experience, so stop sharing _your_ experience." 🙄
to be fair people now think autism is a joke because of them so thats why... i have to let doctors know i was diagnosed before tiktok. that should give you context
@Brainjoy01 but that's not those people's fault, that's abelism talking. Sometimes they can be a bit more positive then negative, and if your really struggling that can feel annoying. But I think what they are doing is really good, I'd rather accept the fact I'm Autistic than hate myself for something I can't be ride of.
After this girl last year found out that I have autism, she said that I couldn't be autistic "because you're not dumb". I didn't even know how to respond
What's wrong with making ear defenders cute? "Hey that person who decorates their wheelchair in cool rainbow colours shouldn't do that because some people need wheelchairs." LOL
@@SingingSealRiana For real. Just because *I* don't look cute in something doesn't mean no one can look cute in it. Another point is that if people 'making it cute' cause there to be more cute options for everyone else, where's the downside? It's like people complaining about gluten free being 'trendy' - who cares! It means more GF options for those who need it! Back in the 90s all there was was cardboard bread that turned into masonite when you toasted it. OK, I'll stop now lol.
I'm both autistic and a wheelchair user, and unfortunately people do get annoyed or even accuse wheelchair/mobility aid users of faking if we decorate them :/ but I agree that we should be able to decorate autism aids like ear defenders too! really any kind of disability aid we should be able to decorate or make cute or fun to be honest
Yeah, i use a walking cane and i now have a colorful fun looking cane. It makes me feel alot better about using it since i sometimes even get compliments about it instead of weird looks because "im too young". So let people make the things they need more fun!
24/7 suffering, apparently. My childhood was agonizing, but now that I've learned effective coping mechanisms and am in an environment where I feel relaxed and safe, I've either "outgrown" my autism or am misdiagnosing a rough childhood. 🙄
Yep. I can't help but think of the whole Bury Your Gays trope and the way society can only accept a so-called misfit if they suffer. It's still somehow connected to the idea of moral purity to not not be disabled or "devient" in any way. There are some really fucking deep wounds there and most people aren't even aware.
Im so glad you talked about not all special interests being like…fnaf and train sets and shit. My special interests are literally skincare and haircare!
yesss! I have ADHD and autism, and idk if that's why I have quite a few special interests, but I definitely do have a revolving door of long term intense special interests and skincare is one of them! My oldest beauty related special interest is definitely alternative fashion, that one's been around since I was at least 12. I've been into lolita fashion around 4 years now, I can tell you exactly which year exclusive dresses from my fav brands were released in, including if they were released multiple times and how you can tell which year yours is from based on the manufacturing differences and special colors that were only released in one shop in japan in 2011 lol.
yeah, people really do feel this way even if they don't say it out loud. especially about disabilities regarding the mental side of things. they almost have an identity crisis or something if you disclose your autism to them, like theyve never considered the possibility they could ever find someone "like you" attractive. it's really insulting to be honest.
No she just doesn't act like a person who struggles with autism. People who have those struggles don't want her speaking for them. I am a person who overcame autism. She no longer has autism. She clearly overcame it and no longer suffers from the traditional symptoms. This is what people are really saying.
Good point! Also people have so many preconceived notions about attractive people, and, when those notions aren't met, it's almost as if you are seen as even *more* "strange" than an "average" looking person with autism or whatever they picture someone with autism should be. I am conventionally attractive to my culture's standards and people think I am aloof and stone faced (which is fair imo). People who get to know me often say they thought I didn't like them. Would my general lack of emotional displays be so obvious if they didn't want my attention? Would they not label me as arrogant or stuck up if that wasn't a stereotype of good looking people?
I recently watch this video about "autism and pretty privilege" by Of Herbs and Altars and it really rocked me to think about it from that perspective. Even though I grew up bullied for being pale with acne, I was also the only femme person in cis male dominated spaces (mostly gaming) so comparatively I still had "pretty privilege," but all the problems with making friends and understanding people's motives and intentions that many other autistic people have. I really recommend it ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-qOIrQ1m8p7o.html
@spOOkytimes Yes! I tend to be overly chatty and friendly without seeing social cues easily... so I run into men thinking I'm interested when I was just being nice. I'm 39, so I've learned to not make eye contact or say hello unless a man initiates (then: BE CAREFUL!) or it is a woman. Simply being in a man's vicinity too long can signal interest. It is all so dumb and Animal Planet-y in a bad way that I've noticed I limit interactions more and more despite being a gregarious person. We are already disliked within seconds once recognized as "different" unless the other person is ND in some way (or that rare person whose life experiences allows them to see different as a good thing potentially instead of it triggering a version of Uncanny Valley). Being a ND is hard, add being a woman with the risks and expectations that go with that, and then add being attractive even just a little with the risks and expectations that go with that... It's hard in a way that people don't get. any pretty privilege you get is outweighed by bullying and abuse. Dating... don't even get me started on how BAD dating NTs is since the only ones to stick around have cluster b issues from hell! Thank God for finding a ND guy!
@@elizabethlondon7754 I definitely agree. My partner is also ND and I think it's part of why we work so well together. We just get eachother's "unusual" tendencies, thought processes, communication, etc. I've gotten very good at masking but it feels nice to take the mask off.
i was into alternative fashion in high school because i knew people looked at me as weird so i felt really drawn to emo and scene fashion because people in those subcultures talked proudly about being weird. it just made me more comfortable wearing styles that were already seen as weird to give people a reason to see me as weird i guess
It's very in for a penny, in for a pound. many people who are already labeled weird by society or by others will figure that if they're always going to be considered a bit weird, why not lean into the things they like which are also weird. people will never see me as normal so why should I not accept and participate in things I like that also aren't seen as normal. there's no use in denying myself the "weird" things I like if people will see me as weird whether I embrace them or not.
That's like saying "How dare you show your child with cancer playing with their toys and laughing! You are trivializing the disease!" No one ever says that. It's because it's mental vs. physical. People, for some reason, still struggle to take mental stuff seriously.
Definitely big stigma with mental disabilities and illness. But I think there's some other elements too: Visible vs invisible. I have both mental and physical disabilities, but the physical is all invisible and poorly understood so similar issues about being dismissed. Cancer is its own category I think, and I can't unpack it all here but here's a couple of points. Cancer is well understood and well funded. It is a potentially - hopefully- curable disease. People can have a "war or cancer" and looking for a cure is not problematic. Cancer support groups, sympathy for sufferers, people aren't scared of "catching cancer" from someone, etc. It's also the go-to terrible thing to randomly happen to someone
though if it was an adult with cancer showing just their happy moments maybe their diagnosis would be doubted too lol. you'd be surprised how much people also question physical disabilities
are you referring to the person making the video or someone else? because she literally states she doesnt think that is glamorizing even before the 3 minute mark
This is so like my experience as a autistic woman. People either think im childish or just weird. I wish people would just understand that autism is a spectrum.
It's quite telling when the amount of people telling autistic influencers: "You're doing bad awareness for people who actually have autism" AREN'T EVEN AUTISTIC THEMSELVES!
Yes you have to love the white knighters that believe that they know what is best for all different minorities and speak over people from that minority to do so.
Yes! It's highly likely that I'm autistic (as in, psychologist said I have symptoms and I spent hours of research into the topic because that's what I do) and meet what I've seen of the diagnostic criteria. Will I speak for the community? No. Will I educate others on what I know the autistic community prefers to help fight misinformation? Yes, but will note that I am not diagnosed autistic myself. Like if even I'm careful to not speak on behalf of the autistic community, these people shouldn't be speaking on behalf of the community at all.
@@mykittenisaferociousnugget I'm undiagnosed too, but Autism makes the most sense. I've been continuing to watch videos to inform myself, but I'm not an expect. I do wonder about some of my coworkers being on the spectrum, but I don't know for sure if they are.
People who get angry at somebody making their adaptive equipment look cute betray their real complaint: They think that disabled people exist to suffer, and are angry that some disabled people are able to find joy.
True. Another commentor compared it to decorating a wheel chair. I challenge these people to go up to someone in a wheelchair and say that their decorations are unacceptable. Edit: clarification
I'm not sure its that. I think its more an efficiency/utility thing. Its normal in protestant cultures to see utility as moral and ornament as immoral so the combination of ornament and utility is perverse to them. Its a recent thing, walking sticks used to be decorated with a variety of handle styles and be beautiful varnished wood but now they're all these identical plastic and metal things so you're not even allowed to be old and dignified anymore. Its a weird "well if you're treating it frivilously you don't need it and don't deserve respect" thing rooted in insecurity. Probably arising from how modern society doesn't respect anyone, able bodied people just get the illusion of having dignity to lose. The other element is cute = childlike and to modern people children = a burden so its easy to resent cute things and think people trying to be cute are demanding something from you rather than self-motivated but that's probably closer to your point after the comma.
@AC-dk4fp you've SO hit the nail on the head... I was in the Lake District recently and outside a cute 2nd hand shop seen a stand with so many beautiful ornate walking sticks all hand carved lovingly out of polished wood. Why is everything nowadays grey and generic?!
Because I am an etymology nerd, I can't resist pointing out that older definitions of _glamour_ don't refer to looking elegant or appealing. It literally means a mask or disguise! And masking is always a hot topic in the autism world. So _masking_ could be referred to as "adopting a glamour" of being more normal, convivial, casual, etc.
When you mentioned how some people can see your autism within a split second and immediately react to that as “different/bad,” I cried. I’m 50 and THAT has been my experience my entire life, but I have never understood why. I have struggled with S/I as long as I can remember because I couldn’t figure out what I’m doing “wrong” to cause so many people to instantaneously despise me. It never occurred to me that THIS could be the reason why. Thank you for your videos (and earrings and matching outfits), but THANK YOU for this bit of information.
@@humanintelegence I'm sure she is kind of person who would see any type of disabled person (autistic/amputee/down syndrome) putting on make up, and fancy clothes and posting on social media, and say they are glamourising their condition.
People say that fat people, trans/nonbinary people, chronically ill people, and ND people are "glamorizing" or "just want oppression points", but really, i think they just hate seeing marginalized people being happy. It doesn't match their perception that marginalization means suffering 24/7.
Legitimately the same ones who say “Stop complaining and victimizing yourself” in the next breath if someone is honest about their struggles. They just want to hate and criticize us in whichever way possible. But I also see miserable autistic people jealous of happy autistic people; instead of feeling inspired and motivated they deal with it by trying to tear fellow auties down.
Also being afraid of what they dont understand/putting people in a box and if u dont fix that box or how they see a stereotype they claim fake or glamorizing it
as a transsexual person there are def ppl faking being trans it’s very annoying and harmful to me. most of them spread misinformation about my condition and also end up reinforcing dumb gender stereotypes when they act like they wanna abolish gender (ie. i cut my hair so that makes me trans/this man wears a dress or likes feminine things so he must be trans, etc) i’m also somewhat gnc and sooooo many fakers mistake me for being the opposite gender but transsexual just because i like some stuff of the opposite gender and look androgynous or they shout “WHAT ARE YOUR PRONOUNS” to only me in front of people who see me as cis and then it makes them suspect im trans/question me and it puts me on the spot which fcking sux. also sucks to be misgendered or told im an egg bc transfacers think im transitioning to my og sex. they also love to say “gender≠sex” and other weird bioessential isms when uhh that’s the opposite of true, i’ve changed my sex as well as the majority of other transsexuals so please don’t refer to me as my og sex when it doesn’t physically match most of my body thanks. the last thing transsexuals want is a fckton of cis people invading our spaces, oops, too late, all the cis transfacers invaded my (and many others’) safe spaces and say slurs and other transphobic shit to transsexual people then cry transphobia when they’re told off, as well as spreading misinformation and calling actual trans ppl bootlickers. i don’t think they realize most of us are liberal and want to be as far away from them (cis people) as possible. so idk whose boots they think we’re licking cause it’s def not theirs lmaoo
I think another aspect to this whole thing is that content creators are engaging with a camera differently than they do in face-to-face interactions with another human, but the audience sees the creator as if they are speaking directly to them. It goes back to how social media dehumanizes all of us in a way.
I think they are projecting. They are shocked they could be ATTRACTED to an AUTISTIC PERSON and cognitive dissonance takes over, they reject the idea that pretty young women can have extreme struggles they have never seen and do not understand the reality of. Thank you for talking about this!
but wait, the whole stereotypical high school structure says that autistic people should fall into the “undesirable nerds, geeks, and freaks” categories. I can’t comprehend that someone with autism could be sorted into the “cool kids caste”. I find this unconscionable. I mean, autism is such a blight on other people’s lives that we need to actively push it out so we don’t have to deal with it (at least that’s what the popular kids say). So clearly something must be wrong here since I’m attracted to that which we should be pushing away. I mean, obviously I should inherently have the “appropriate response” towards autism, therefore *_I_* can’t be what’s wrong about this situation. I’m not immediately aggressively repulsed by it, so they must be faking. My “autism-realness radar” sends me into fits of exclusionary violence. So you’re wrong, not me, you.
As a Registered Behavioral Technician myself, I can 100% say we DO NOT have the power to diagnose autism or not. That would be a BCBA or a Doctor/psychologist. That person definitely should get fired if that’s what they’re doing
I am an RBT and I have autism. I work with children because I know how it feels but also am not selfish enough to give misplaced diagnosis. It confuses me when people self diagnose or say to others "Oh you must have (insert any mental trend)". I feel some people get in to the field for the wrong reason. They want to feel like they are validated for their own personal reasons. It makes me angry for those who are in the field to actually help. Do I make sense?
How does she not understand that an undiagnosed adult autistic person is not gonna look ANYTHING like a child that is already in treatment for autism? No critical thinking skills whatsoever. Wow.
You are one of like 2-3 people that helped me realize I am autistic. Because of you I went back and put in a complaint about not getting a diagnosis. They just explained away everything with anxiety, ocd, agoraphobia etc. But after watching your videos and a couple other creators, I started hyper focusing, researching, accepting and unmasking. Finally I got referred to a nevropsykologist. After one 2-4hour session with her and a phone session with some questions with her assistant or something, I got my diagnosis. She even told me that if she can't determent it after the two sessions, she will refer me to an autism specialized section or something. But she had more than enough to give me a diagnosis. Which was so validating. Being diagnosed knowing I am an audhder, has changed my life completely for the better. Thank you for being a part of that! Also, you are my comfort show, I watch ur videos especially after meltdowns.
Me and my younger sister are both autistic but my sister fits the stereotype of the "5 year old nonverbal autistic nephew" so I went most of my life undiagnosed and was told that I "just didn't listen" 😭😭
Same I had my autistic brother so the comparison was right there :( he was 2 years younger and I just got ignored unless i overachieved or took care of my 3 younger siblings a lot..... im an RBT as well the difference is I just recently went through aba therapy training. It's changing theres new research popping up and different more effective ways redirecting maladaptive behaviors
Same but with an older brother. It was very obvious when he was a kid so he got diagnosed young, then my other brother with ADHD and i, as the youngest, was mostly left to be the ‘normal’ one because my parents were too busy dealing with my older brothers. I was only diagnosed at 17, which is young in comparison to some, but a little shocking considering my parents had looked after another autistic child for longer than me. I just hid it better because i was expected to be normal, but its likely that my parents are ADHD and on the spectrum respectively so they’ve struggled with their own issues too. Funny how it all works out
Same with me and my older brother! Neither of us got diagnosed back then but he got all the attention because he had behavioral problems, was aggressive towards class mates, combative with teachers, extremely rude and stubborn etc. I was pretty much the polar opposite - extremely compliant, people-pleasing, overachieving, so everybody was like "she's fine, she doesn't need anything". Ironically, my brother ended up with much better mental health in the long run because he never gave a poop what anyone else thought of him and he just followed his interests; when I got diagnosed at 34 I barely knew who I was and had to start building self esteem from nothing.
My younger sister might have autism, and in general needs much more assistance and has meltdowns often. As a result, I’m undiagnosed and will probably stay that way until I’m an adult.
Im a 32 year old autistic man. Ive dated three autistic women. They were complete polar opposites. One was extroverted and outgoing, not very sensitive to sensory overload (hyposensitive) and had special interests revolving around socialising. The other was very introverted and socially isolated, and hypersensitive to sensory overload. Both were fantastic women and the best relationships ive ever had. Now im dating another extroverted autistic and ADHD woman. Ive always felt happiest with neurodivergent women. There is no one single expression of autism.
Thank you for that comment. I've been meaning to ask if some autistic people are also extroverted, because I can't think of any that I've met or heard about.
Fun fact: RBT’s are not legally qualified to diagnose and the person can quite possibly lose their job for that depending on their employment contract.
I really wish autisms weren't in such short supply. I have waited forever to get an autism. The gatekeepers should just simply manufacture more so that we have a backup autism in case the first one gets shut down or confiscated or something. When I'm issued an autism, I'm totally getting insurance for it in case it is stolen.
After a couple months of the algorithm providing your videos to me, this is your first video that im viewing. I did NOT expect you to share so many images of yourself! Maybe its typical for you but it (along with other editing choices) provided a really open and welcoming energy.
So, they're mad at Chloë for dressing 'quirky' but they're also mad at Paige because she looks 'normal' and 'preppy'? Someone make it make sense. 😵💫 Also, the person who was a child behavioral specialist has no background in autism diagnosis, so I don't know why they would feel qualified to speak on someone's diagnosis. I'm also sincerely curious what they think _the point of their own job even is_ if they expect an adult who has been seeing specialists *since they were 8* to act just the same as the 7 year olds they're currently working with. Like, so does the therapy work, or not?
Chloe Hayden is one of the most joy filled people I’ve ever seen and I have loved her for ages since I found her on TikTok. I’ve been off social media for a while and didn’t know she got bullied off it. How sad. That really hurts my heart. Maybe she “romanticises” the positive parts of autism now but she went through hell as a child with her autism and that is her right to express herself and find joy in it now as an adult. Her neurodivergent book is wonderful and I praise her for everything she has done to make neurodivergents feel less like freaks. Including portraying realistic neurodivergent character on heartbreak high.
shes a registered behavior technician which means she knows how to use ABA. You don't even need to know anything about autism to receive that credential
Autistic Person: Has one positive interaction and am happy. Random Commentator: You are glamorizing your autism. Autistic Person: I am just showing that I am happy despite my struggles of autism. Random Commentator: But you are acting like autism is a cute thing because I know an autistic person thats no doing well. You are glamorizing stuff. Autistic Person: That doesn't even make sense autism is a disability you are acting like I am recruiting people for autism but I just want to share positive stuff. Random Commentator: But I don't like that. Literally what these commentors are saying. They are getting mad at neurodivergent people wanting to live a happy life and sharing happyness.
It literally feels like they're just trying to drag others down. It's like they're saying I suffer from it so you should suffer with it too, you can't find any good in the bad.
@@skootergirl22aka the “what I saw in an extremely ableist comedy film from the early 2000s that happened to have a [insert R-slur here] character in it and they said the word “Autism” maybe once” person lol like MY FRIEND WHY WE EXIST IN EVERYDAY LIFE
I was recently diagnosed and am still on a full diagnosis journey with autism, but finding your account has helped me realize so much and been so helpful. When you said that becoming obsessed with things like working out and doing makeup as a form of masking to appear 'not autistic' I almost started crying...I have been doing that for so long. It lead to a lot of disordered eating and rearranging my schedule completely to be able to go to the gym or do my hair. I'm realizing now, as I've gained a bit of weight during my diagnosis journey, I am finally allowing myself to relax those thoughts and it's scary but also very freeing. I have so much more time for hobbies and reading now. Thank you for this video
Especially when thanks to her i realised that happy stimling feels like me too! Ive been masking so successfully since im a child that i for a long time didnt realise not being able to feel authentic joy and expressing it to its authentic extent ARE LINKED
@@violettaschmieder2096I’m trying to unmask my autism, and trying to understand HOW I feel, and what emotions actually feel like. I think I struggle with alexithymia. But that statement, about not feeling the full extent when you don’t allow yourself to express it to its full extent, was a missing piece I think. I need to learn to actually ALLOW myself to feel, I’m the ways my feelings want to feel, instead of trying to decipher my emotions as they’re masked for social acceptance, or trying to keep them subdued. Even when I’m alone I monitor how I express my emotions, until it all builds up and turns into a meltdown and I’m hitting myself ( not an okay stim, why I’m trying to change ) or pacing my room. I need to battle the shame inside and allow myself to feel how i need to feel. Thanks for this insight
@@immortalsugimandudeguyI’m trying to unmask mine too! I’ve found it super helpful to remember things I loved as a kid (I guess pre-masking) - music, colours, fashion, sayings, stims etc. It’s kinda hard to find out how to unmask but slowly learning. Hope you find your true and best self.
It feels like if someone afab talks about their autism, sometimes people don’t believe it because autism often means needing more support. And girls aren’t supposed to need support. They’re supposed to handle everything, because they’re “more mature” and “independent”- unless someone wants to control them.
"you can't be autistic because you don't need support. also how dare you need support and make any demands of me instead of making yourself as small and invisible as possible"
Had not connected those dots before but it makes a lot of sense actually; it fits very well into the whole separation that was created for "female autism" because girls supposedly mask "instinctually", when in reality it has to do with the different expectations and limitations that society puts into girls growing up in comparison with boys. It is becoming blatantly obvious that people nowadays 9/10 go after afab creators for not fitting the autistic canon they have in their heads and I have yet to see the same level of energy directed at amab creators sharing their experiences (not that they do not experience ableism as well, obviously, just not this level of witch hunting for being "fakers'' and "bad representation" or whatever).
The one article claiming "People who can't speak up for themselves" is such a telling phrase. Why is it every time someone has an autistic child their first move is to say their child couldn't possibly advocate for themselves.
you know, as an autistic person who has a bit more support needs than many others, i hate when people pit autistic people against each other. i have lots of struggles when it comes to my autism and need help with lots of things, yet i don't mind people being happy with their autism (i have autism pride myself, even)
😂 Also, in my experience "we" aren't trying to out-autistic each other. The NTs are trying to get us to race...maybe they want to place bets or some such?
You nailed it with the scarcity mindset- ‘you’re taking (attention, sympathy, “resources”) from my child and there’s not enough to go around, you’re not worthy.’ There’s also a “virtue through suffering” thing in America, I don’t know the roots. But if you’re not suffering sufficiently for everyone’s satisfaction, you should pull yourself up by your bootstraps and stop expecting help or sympathy. If I can’t visibly see and measure your suffering, you’re just making excuses.
@@SuperMonaLisaBros not sure exactly what you mean- it’s like an anti-martyr culture. You have to be a Righteous Victim, or you’re not worthy of compassion. Is that what you mean?
@@SuperMonaLisaBros right- and it seems like the underlying issue is some of these moms feel like THEY are the martyrs (sacrificing all for their disabled child) and these level 1 ASD people are getting sympathy without having to suffer or sacrifice “enough.” I really don’t think it’s about taking away imaginary resources (in the US at least, ASD level 1 gets absolutely no help of any kind as long as you can work), it’s about the threat to their righteous identity.
The virtue through suffering thing in america comes from a mixture of christianity and capitalism (well, christianity influencing capitalism), its related to the protestant work ethic thing and basically that the more suffering you have in the mortal plain, the more holy youll be when you die, so suffering with dignity, never accepting help (other than the lords help ofc) and therefore not taking up space or needing accommodations is a big virtue. Also since sickness and disability supposedly are punishment from god for bad moral behavior, things like autism are considered like a jail sentence you have to carry out, so having fun and being happy isnt allowed because disability is a punishment from god in their eyes
Same, I was recently diagnosed with ARFID which is one of the least known EDs in general, never mind when it’s combined with autism. Was nice to see some representation
I'm 2.5 mins in and I really hope we address how this is a result of misogyny and the sexualization of mental illness and normal human idiosyncrasies in women as "quirkiness" and "manic pixie dream girls"
I was thinking this as well. Like maybe people are thinking Autism is being "glamorized" because some of the actions/appearances/etc can look similar to the manic pixie dream girl archetype. Obviously, the only way that would happen is if one is intentionally seeking attention, not that people can just have preferences that don't conform to societal norms (/s).
@@erinc5138ironically this is exactly what a lot of Tik Tok creators do bc it's the version of autism that is very marketable to a large audience. Like we have to remember that Tik Tok is full of carefully curated personas that are meant to appeal to large amounts of people through edited and mostly scripted videos.
the pixie dream girl trope is really just the sanitization and repackaging of neurodivergence/mental illness in women to fit a movie plot nicely (usually much more fitting the definition of glamorisation than these tiktoks made by actual autistic women) which is why it always feels off and wrong. But I think some of the people who are so heavily against that trope and use it as part of the "glamorisation" argument (esp. neurotypicals) just have some sort of ableism going on BC some people refuse to examine why its bad past the actual Character and just hone in on "I think strange female characters are cringe" . Idk I always related to the silly interests and misreading/ignoring social situations up until unexplainable male gazey/misogynistic tropes that just didn't seem right 2 me (not that I didn't internalise the better written and less obvious ones though) but discussion has kind of devolved and it's like. Why do you think girl who is quirky = cringe and answer me quickly, without being ableist. I get the same feeling when ppl were making throwback tiktoks making fun of middle school "horse girls" etc
Not directly related but I'm conventionally attractive and I didn't used to be either, when I was younger and fat and weird boys would look at me in genuine disgust, now I get told I could be a model atleast once a month from a stranger I'm no longer weird, I'm now "interesting" and "unique". I also find it easier to be myself now because people aren't as judgemental but how sad is that? We have to look appealing to be ourselves without judgement
Seeing other autistic people being happy and experiencing joy and expressing themselves in so many beautiful and different ways helps me as an autistic feel more comfortable about myself. It helps dig me out of the gloomy and stressful parts about being autistic. It makes me less scared to go and face the world. Yes autism and being neurodivergent is EXTREMELY exhausting and it takes a huge toll on your mental health because the world is practically built around Neurotypical people and how they work. BUT seeing other autistics go out there and doing things that may feel impossible for other autistic people is a HUGE breakthrough for many of us! It makes life seem less stressful and less scary and it makes us feel more accepted and that we aren’t the only ones and that we can also go out there in the world and be our true selves without feeling like we have to hide!
As someone who was recently diagnosed with autism and adhd I would change a lot of things about my brain like it being extremely hard to make friends, more easily overstimulated and being very forgetful but honestly I feel like in a lot of ways a lot of my autistic traits are good things to have.
I feel this I have recently started having negative reactions and side effects to ADHD medication. I’ve been taking which is not the one I was supposed to be on. We haven’t been able to get the one I’m supposed to be on since Covid because of the shortage so for a while now I’ve just been switching medications and the one I’ve been on for the past year or so has these side effects that I have now starting to experience including panic attacks in the middle of the night. About a week ago I was crying because of this and wishing I could “fix” my brain so I would no longer need the medication that was causing this and I just felt absolutely horrible about myself and what I could not do due to my disability. It really sucks.
As someone who was diagnosed with autism a while ago, overstimulation and difficulty making friends are often due to societal norms (and in some cases official policies) that that weren't created with autistic brains and needs in mind. These rules and public opinion don't have to stay this way and seeking out / reaching out to neurodivergent / autistic people who will be able to empathize and respect your needs will probably help in the meantime but I don't know your specific situation.
This is the first video of yours I’ve seen, and I’ve subscribed! This was an excellent discussion of the varied experiences of autistic women. I’m not on TickTock so I don’t know any of these creators, but I’m tempted to download it just to follow and support these creators ❤. I’m 53 and wasn’t diagnosed until I was 49. I’m disabled and have been fighting to get on disability for three years (I’m American). So much of my life has become clearer to me since my diagnosis, and I love to discover channels like yours to help me understand my own experiences. I look forward to catching up on your content. Take care.
They're mad at her for being happy. They're calling her disrespectful for sharing that she's experiencing joy and also she is autistic. I'm sure she experiences those social difficulties, those meltdowns, but why the hell should she have to stew in that misery? She deserves to enjoy her happiness.
No, they’re calling her out for having a weirdly convenient video of her having autistic tics that are seemingly fully in her control as she can stave them off long enough to record them. Also, several women in the video are flawlessly using sarcasm, non-direct language, and very clearly navigating the social scenario of being called out quite well… that would be quite a fascinating combo of feats for someone with autism
@@DavidJones-ot8qu Everything about recordings are "convenient". You literally pick and choose what you post, sometimes out of dozens of takes. Also, tics are not constant, you could absolutely wait for them to be at their peak to record videos about your tics. Also also, autism *spectrum*. Not everyone will be the same and struggle the same amount with the same things. She's an adult, she's had several years to learn and adapt to sarcasm and various manners of speaking. Autism doesn't equal an inability to learn, or the inability to be professional.
@@LeahPorteous No, but autism does actually mean being autistic, and part of being autistic is not being non-autistic lmao. You can’t just legitimately unlearn autism to the point where you just entirely present as neurotypical until you stop flapping your arms randomly. That’s simply not autism. Yes, tics are not constant, but again, why would you even record these in the first place? It’s pretty strange, because as you guys are pointing out, she isn’t an autism activist and she doesn’t need to center that, so why would she center that? Autistic people typically wouldn’t do this, because pretty much the only reason you would do this is if you thought “huh, that’s kinda cute and quirky,” which is kinda hard to imagine being a genuine thought a truly autistic person would have about themselves and their stimming.
It's very clear that you have never heard about autism and masking. Girls/women especially learn to do it, to mask their autistic traits to appear "normal". I suggest that you read more about it and about autism in general. Your wiew about autism is extremely negative. And I like to remind that autism is a spectrum.
I'm not even 5 minutes in, but that chick who works with autistic kids 7 & under really thought that made her an expert in adult autism? like for real? I hope she lost her job and that wasn't just a rumor
I'm an RBT and KNOW a ton of adults on the spectrum and I would NEVER even think of diagnosing anyone besides my self let alone someone i never met in a 3 minute video!!!
@mysmirandam.6618 I’m surprised an allistic RBT would even be interested in content like Meg’s, considering she’s extremely neuropositive and your industry is the equivalent of conversion therapy for Autistics.
She said she's an RBT, so that means she's ABA, unless there's a different kind of RBT that works with autistic kids. I've heard there are some good ABA people out there, but judging only by that rant she went on, I'd be wary of sending any of my family members to her.
I’m thirty two, I was diagnosed like five years ago, there is ZERO help in my area for autistic adults unless you live in a home with people who need more services than I do. So I don’t understand the people saying we’re “taking services from others”. I’m frustrated I can’t get any help at all.
This is me with adhd! The ‘you’re taking services away from children who ACTUALLY need them’ crowd just showing their ignorance when I cannot get a single bit of help because they ignored me growing up but the kids are able to get access to anything in my country!
Because of how much of a struggle being autistic can be, I've dealt with suicidal thoughts and depression most of my life. I've had to fight really hard for the happiness and the positive attitude that I have today. It makes me sad that others would think I'm "glamorizing autism" or faking it just because I experience joy. The joy that I worked so hard for.
I feel you, I'm not yet at the joy stage of it, but I am trying very hard to get there. I don't want to hate myself for something I can't control. Sad people can't see that aspect of it.
Same here. Before I knew I was autistic, I was convinced I was born defective with some unknown mental disorder that caused me to be a burden to everyone around me and cause them severe pain without even being aware of it. I thought for a long time that the only way I could actually provide anything of value and joy to the lives of my loved ones was to take my own life to ease their suffering. The only reason I am still alive today because I finally met other autistic people and they always loved me for who I was, even at my worst moments. I worked EXTREMELY hard to get where I am today and I deserve to enjoy life.
This comment made me realise that an underlying belief that a lot of this criticism some coming from is that you’re not allowed to be autistic and happy 😮 I am not sure why exactly, but it does seem like a lot of people are coming from that as their underlying belief or framework
I’m so relieved to see someone experience that as an autistic person. That may sound weird but I’ve felt this exact same way. Why can’t I be autistic and happy?! People see disabled people as constantly suffering… but no, it’s just how our brain works. Yea it can be debilitating but that honestly comes from people who treat us like the ableists shown in the video. I’d suffer less if autism wasn’t looked down upon. It’s ironic, isn’t it, that allistics can’t understand that autism isnt all “black and white”. It literally just is. We wouldn’t be us without it. People think of autism as just a list of problems…. When in reality having an autistic brain has its issues but it isn’t a problem itself.
As a spicy dancer / entertainer of 13 years and still going strong, there are many dianosed autistic and neurodivergent people in SW. Most of us know what it feels like not being taken seriously because of our work or in some cases, being stereotypically attractive. It hurts to be shunned by other neurodivergent people because of my choice of work and not being accepted by the rest of the society for the same reason. But the truth is, in many clubs girls who earn the most are neurodivergent! I’ve learned that for me, it’s like a superpower with downsides because I get tired more easily when I work too much, because social interractions don’t come to me naturally so it’s a delicate balance. But being invalidated hurts and makes dating, meeting new people & connections difficult, when it already is because of my line of work. I really wish everyone would understand that neurodivergent people all look different. ✌🏻✨
What I hear whane people say someone is glamourizing any mental illness/condition is : "you're seeking well-being and happiness and thriving and sharing that with other when you're supposed to struggle and hate your life and not achive anything, this is not okay" and this is disgusting
I wonder whether it would be considered a symptom of a mental illness in itself? What else might provoke someone to be upset about another person's happiness? Do they think autism should always be a visible struggle or just constant difficulty in general? Maybe they're jealous that other people are capable of accepting themselves?
@@skachor I don't think it would be a symptom of illness to not be accepting. They just can't think people can struggle more than average and still be happy sometimes. They can't see that accomodated disability mean kinda less disabeled, too, or more healthy and happy at least. I also think they can't see disabeled people as whole people, who have a life, emotions, coping mecanisms, things they like and dislike outside of their disabilities, people they like, love and who love them back, desires and aspirations and so on
@loikira5841 I mean more the animosity that comes with it. Although, in some sense I see a connection between understanding/accepting and the emotional reaction. If they truly understood and accepted, they'd be more empathetic, yet in hostility I can't see any reasonable explanation but jealousy.
Yeah, it's pretty messed up when people say that. I think the only time it can be argued that a disability or disorder is being glamorized is when the media portrays something without proper education rather than individuals sharing their stories. Specifically OCD comes to mind for this since it's frequently portrayed as little "quirky" things most people do rather than something that causes great distress without proper management/treatment
And yet when people do struggle it's "everyone struggles just pull yourself back by your bootstraps and get the he11 over it!" Can't win with people that refuse to listen.
As someone with severe internalized ableism (cerebral palsy), seeing positivity from the disabled community is honestly amazing for my mental health. Whenever I feel down, I can find people like me with uplifting stories. Seeing people making light fun of their struggles makes me feel less alone
“Omg I can’t believe that these influencers are glamorizing autism and ignoring the ppl who REALLY suffer with autism!!” *influencer talks about how they struggle with autism* “BOO HOO! YOU’RE NOTHING LIKE MY NEPHEW’S FRIEND WITH AUTISM!! STOP CLAIMING THE AUTISM LABEL FOR OPPRESSION POINTS!!”
The whole "they only show the good parts" always confuses me because like of course I'm not gonna film a meltdown and post it online. And if someone else filmed me having a meltdown I sure as heck wouldn't want THEM to post it. If someone chooses to post their own meltdowns to show what it's like, that's their prerogative, but no one should be expected to do that.
They're so used to abusive parents posting their kid's most vulnerable and painful moments for them to gawk at that they don't realize those things are private moments.
It’s just weird that someone who records themselves doing VERY stereotypically autistic things, presumably bringing attention to autism, would only show that. What’s the point of posting that? It’s not at all normal to film yourself just looking at a thing, like someone just filming their own face staring at something pretty. It’s pretty clear she’s just trying to show “hey guys! autism here!”, which is undoubtedly odd
It's just another classic case of "I don't like when autistic people blend into society and express joy because it makes it harder for me to ostracize and belittle them." . My autism has made me miserable for more than half my life. I almost took my own life because I felt like my suffering was inescapable. I would not be here today if I ignored the positives to constantly wallow in the negatives. I deserve to feel happy in my autistic brain. I'm tired of suffering and hating myself. I'm ready to enjoy life and love my autistic self.
I think a lot of us are more bitter that autistic traits are only acceptable when the person that has them is attractive. So seeing attractive people try to normalize these behaviors feels insulting because autistic traits just look “quirky” on attractive people while unattractive people get bullied for having them. God forbid you are autistic and fat, POC, visibly disabled or otherwise don’t fit into conventional beauty standards
I’ve also felt this way most of my life. I’m glad you’re still here though. You deserve to live just as much as the next guy! ❤ Autism is hard but it’s not always bad. We all deserve love and support, I hope you get nothing but joy and prosperity in your future (and present)❤
@@yeehawneehaw5215It definitely varies though. not everyone who is attractive will cross paths with people who think their autistic traits are more acceptable because they're attractive. I'm usually judged harder than my other autistic friends irl who don't put as much effort into their appearance or aren't as "conventionally attractive" because the people around me and that I usually run into are caught more off guard when I display obvious traits. 80% of the time people won't believe me if I disclose because they don't think autistic ppl cant be that pretty, and then 15% will gripe that "you're such a pretty girl, you'd be so much better off if you didn't act.. that way". the remaining 5% are completely chill. I completely understand that your complaints are valid and there definitely are people who are more accepting of autistic traits when they're portrayed by someone attractive, and that's really shitty. I just mean to say that not all of us get that end of the stick even when we are pretty.
I realized early on that no matter how i dress or act somehow allistic people can just pin point who is the "other", so i decided to just dress how i wanted an what made me happy and comfortable. When i was younger that was alllll the layers like a sheild/mask from bumping into people or being touched and etc. Now as am adult it means wearing as little as i comfortable with so dont feel so restricted with lots of dangly bits like chains, layered belts, sevreal necklaces, and shiny fun bits like studs an pins that bring me joy. And my FAVOURITE thing in the world my amazing fun platform boots cause makes me feel like a blss bitch an gives me such a confidence boost to not need sheild of latered clothes showing no skin an no shape. But yeah now so many think i cant have XYZ or be this or that cause how i dress and look 🙃 it's maddening
Soo basically what they're saying is "you're happy with yourself = you cant be autistic cus autism=unhappy n endless suffering" Why are people mad that the creators only show their good side, why do u feel that they're obligated to show u their vulnerable side, maybe they don't want to, they don't feel comfortable sharing their most vulnerable moments on the Internet for anyone to judge and comment on it, whatever their reason might be you cannot hate someone for just sharing whatever they want to share with the world, everyone is obligated to hide what they want to and they shouldn't be judged for it.
This!!! It’s the Autism $peaks mentality. “Being autistic is a tragedy that ruins the lives of the autistic person and everyone around them. Therefore, you cannot possibly be autistic because you have experienced joy/success/beauty/positive relationships/anything else positive.”
I mean, everyone has whatever feelings they have, but criticizing people for being happy does seem like a behavior people might want to examine in themselves! 🤔
That's actually a point I didn't even think of. It never crossed my mind that some of these creators may be uncomfortable sharing a very vulnerable side of them. Or they may feel it could affect their real life, or that it may not be safe to do so. Or even that they are trying to stay positive themselves and that's why they lean more positive. No one's obligated to show a venerable side of them to prove they struggle. Thank you for this comment.
People with other disabilities get the same crap comments on social media. There is a RU-vidr with pinpoint vision (nearly completely blind) AND a completely blind RU-vidr that constantly get told they must not be vision impaired because they don’t act blind. They have guide dogs. They talk about their “blind-person moments” (thinking your outfit looks a certain way and realizing it’s completely different from what you meant to put together). I’m sorry, are these people expecting constant footage of them running into walls, completely unadapted or unacclimated to their own homes, or what would it take? GOD FORBID SOMEONE WITH A DISABILITY ISN’T LIVING IN A CONSTANT STATE OF MISERY. I LOVE it when disabled content creators glamorize their lives or show joy. It shows other people with disabilities that that is something they can find in their lives, too.
if you have a disability...their is no such thing as joy or happiness. Autism = pain and suffering. only 1% can adapt properly....usually rich and overpriveledged....or giving excessive support. its unrealistic and hurts those that actually have a disability.
A behavior analyst technician is not trained to diagnose. That woman who criticized the online autism personality is NOT an expert. Happily, I have a Psy.D. AND and trained and authorized to diagnose. ;(. And your channel is great!!!!!! This video was wonderful.
Sadly there are plenty of autistic guys who get like this too. They feel they have "real" autism and attack as a faker anyone they think is suffering enough. Mostly women because that group has a lot of crossover with incels.
No they aren’t okay, but they never really are. A large part of this I think comes down to “how can people be broken and happy when I’m normal and miserable. Those people should feel worse than me.”
After I got my apartment the property manager said I can’t be autistic because I’m not like her 8 yo nephew… and that she didn’t think I was as disabled as her because she has fibromyalgia. I have nerve damage that makes me unable to sit down. Some people are just absolute idiots.
Do I think some people “glamorize” autism, in a way? Yes. But it’s that exact glamorization that made me be able to accept myself and be unapologetically proud of who I am. These types of creators quite literally changed my life, and I thank them every day for letting me see a less pessimistic side of myself.
I love Chloe Hayden so so much. I think her representation in heartbreak high (as well as social media) is amazing and she helps me so so much. She isn’t glamorizing autism, she’s just happy and living openly. People are crazy
I should probably finish watching before I comment. But goodness, I struggle to understand the whole “your struggles don’t look exactly like my struggles, so you must have it easier and aren’t deserving of a diagnosis.”
which is such a wild thing to think, especially about autism considering it's literally called autism SPECTRUM disorder and the diagnostic criteria only outlines a handful of different things that all autistic ppl need to have relatively in common. and those things still often look a little different between people. the rest is completely individual experience and is different for everyone. not everyone who's autistic will have so much trouble with black & white thinking and perfectionism like me. I do have some general rigidity but not nearly as much as some other autistic people. I am more sensory seeking than avoidant on average and I don't super frequently have meltdowns or shutdowns over sensory sensitivities, only occasionally and usually in costco because for some reason their checkout area is hell on earth without proper ear protection.
What irritates me is those people who are talking about “glamorizing “ autism are just irritating because they don’t realize that for a long time only people with the “look” or a severe set of symptoms were diagnosed and taken seriously while everyone else was misdiagnosed or brushed aside. The diagnosis comes with multiple categories and with a list of symptoms under each. You don’t have to have them all and they can be at different levels of severity so just sit and try to contemplate the massive unimaginable number of different combinations and step back and realize you know the name of the diagnosis you barely understand it.
hey! its heyitsmaryalice, thank you for saying all of this!! The invalidation never ever stops. I appreciate you talking about this. There are SO MANY ways to be autistic and they are all valid.
I just wanted to say thank you for representing for us girlies who have autism and aren’t believed because we don’t act like others with autism ✨ Also, you’re literally so gorgeous it takes my breath away just wanted to let ya know 🥰
I am not autistic, but I have ADHD and it has SEVERELY AFFECTED my entire life. I had many different diagnoses and medications and treatment and nothing ever helped, nothing ever changed. I was referred to a highly experienced psychiatrist who spent time talking with me, asking about my life, and ultimately decided to test me for ADHD. Even just answering the questions I began to cry, feeling understood for the first time in my entire life. I was diagnosed 5 years ago and have been receiving treatment and also re-organising my life to make it work for me. I have literally never been happier or more fulfilled. I obviously struggle with things but now i understand, and i know what to do to help. I hate when people think I am not "really" suffering these things (ask my family and friends how much they love seeing all of the incredible, positive changes in my life, internally and externally, since!) Everybody experiences things differently, everybody presents differently, lets love and trust each other and support each other. Judgement and gatekeeping never healed anybody.
The worse are the "experts" going around saying that autism numbers had gone up because of our diet. Like autism is something we can contract or develop like diabetes or HPV. Not more accessible of diagnosis or normalcy that autismis an spectrum. Are there more male autistic or less females getting accessed?
"Are there more male autistic or less females getting accessed[sic]?" this is a false dichotomy. Both can be true and there is empirical evidence to support both.
@@Sarah-with-an-H I agree 100% gluten and sugar definitely affects me a lot. I meant they actually saying that the child wasn't autistic at all and because of food it develop autism. Some were doctors and some were doctors interviewing scientists to justify to their pount of view.
This Video actually made me cry. Even my parents trivialize my autism. I've been told by them that I'm not autistic enough to utilize my IEP; so I made sure that I never did because my parents told me that I wasn't actually autistic enough to have them. My own parents who were there when I was diagnosed in kindergarten. This caused the school to take it away because I was doing what my parents told me to do. Now I struggle to just get through a day because I have nothing to fall back on. It's gotten worse since I started Testosterone(it isn't because of the testosterone) because now every time I have an autistic melt down my parents just assume it's the hormones, before this they just assumed that I wasn't taking my meds, and before that they just said that I couldn't eat sugar. It hurts as someone who fits the 'stereotype' of autism to be told this, but I don't understand why people feel the need to tell other people whether they're autistic or not based on heavily edited videos that edit out anything that may seem awkward or uncomfortable, or these people sharing THEIR experience. My experience isn't the same as my brother's and I get so upset when my parents compare it so seeing parents online comparing the behavior of ADULTS with autism to their children is awful. Not to mention if I saw that many whales I would definitely behave like that, that's such a rare sighting that anyone who enjoys the ocean would have some sort of strong reaction to seeing whales. Heck, I get that way when my cat lets me pet her so I understand. I don't know why I felt the need to share this, but yeah, if anyone actually read through this thank you❤
The first dude getting offended FOR autistic people while they’re implied neurotypical is actually SO FUNNY TO ME LOL I’m going to get excited when my hyperfixation gets mentioned, or when something excites me, and I don’t care if you don’t like that. It’s not glamorizing it or whatever, it’s ableist to say that???
It feels like this is what happens a lot of the time. “I’m neurotypical and offended on behalf of my autistic friend/child/whoever!” “Okay, did they ask you to do this?” “No” “Then why?” “Well, their autism makes my life harder, so I don’t want anyone to think autistic people can have joy.” “Ah, there it is.”
Closest I've been was by my uncle, I probably should have said - "that's only because you are too" That entire side of the family is very neurodivergent (and actually the other side of my family too but the other side of the family is poor so their traits don't hit all of the stereotypical tropes). Ohhh wait someone did say "But there's nothing wrong with you" and I said "yes".
My kid lost support in school this year, it led to burnout. You know why she lost it? NOT paige, not Chloe, or anyone else. It was a jerkface superintendent and teachers who get loud when they could have and ableism all the way down. Losing supports isnt because of a content creator. It's because society is messed up. The Gatekeepers are giving the jerkfaces of the world an excuse. The need to knock it off. 🎉 you're great Meg. I'm glad i found you🎉
Well put. Taking away support is reflection of ableism and lack of caring. Bringing awareness to autism and embracing it should empower people to foster better social programs and learning environments for autistic people. It may also help people get diagnosed earlier if they resonate with people sharing their stories and making content and overall lessen suffering.
on another note I’ve been watching so many feminine presenting autistic creators that I genuinely forgot that autism is more seen in boys and when I saw a male autistic creator recently I was shocked until I remembered that they’re the blueprint essentially 💀 (I thought it was funny to share bc of how involved I’ve been watching fem autistic creators LOL)
9:41 THIS. This problem is not only for autism. It's a problem throught all fields of medicine, even heart attacks look different! Going to any medical professional as a woman is a nightmare.
The internet keeps on getting more and more toxic. Seems like theres no limit and people will keep creating new ways to shit on others they donr even know. I wish they would take that time and creativity on lifting others up and being their best versions!
Idk if I’m just getting older and seeing more of the ugliness out there but I’ve been feeling this too. People are so quick so say nasty things to others just because it’s through a screen
algorithms and "echo chambers", that's what generates "engagement", more views and reactions. And the user has no form of control (fB has just automated more actions in the administration/control of content of groups), many folks aren't even aware of all that
It sucks that people think you always have to be suffering or look a certain way to be autistic, when the truth is, we’re all just individuals trying to get through this thing called life. Nobody deserves to be bullied and called a fake. Thank you for this video.
Honestly, when you talked about Chloe Hayden wearing ear muffs/ear defenders at the event, I immediately thought “what if she did a sponsored deal with someone like Bose or, beats?!” She could totally rock some sponsored ear protection!! Make some money while also using an Autistic tool!!
I just wanted to comment that I’m halfway through this video and it’s unexpectedly distressing to me as someone who also grew up as the “ugly weird kid” and is now “attractive” and seeing those ignorant people comment that Paige Layle cannot possibly be autistic because with “genetic disorders, aren’t you supposed have a weird face?” like… what the fuck… So I’m going to listen to music and prepare a little more to come back to this! It is so important that you are speaking on not just this topic, but all the others that you have and I appreciate you Meg! 💟I will be back 😁
I have several craniofacial deformities, but you would not know it unless I pointed it out, and I am still told I'm quite attractive. So I guess I am allowed to be autistic because I have a "weird face" but also I'm not allowed because I have a "pretty face". It doesn't make any sense at all because it's all ignorance and bias on the part of people who actually think disabled people are lesser humans.
@@MuchToDoAboutNowtyou’re a walking paradox! pretty cool if you ask me but yeah complete and utter bullshit in an attempt to make people feel bad for being themselves.
Fellow "late bloomer" here who was/is considered weird. It feels like a similar sentiment to "but you're too pretty to be sad". It's a very shallow way of viewing people.
