The Lies We Tell Ourselves To Feel Better 

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“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how”. -Friedrich Nietzsche

We, humans, find reasons for almost anything. We love the thought of giving meaning to things, especially to our existence. We are such creatures. I think it stems from our fears. Fear of being insignificant, fear of being a victim of circumstances, fear of having no importance, etc. I believe it's a defense or coping mechanism. It's our go-to as thinking beings.

“We humans, we’re all the same. Every last one of us. For some it’s drinking, for some it’s woman, for some even religion, family, the king, dreams, children…power. All of us had to spend our lives drunk on something else we’d have no cause to keep pushing on. Everyone…was a slave to something.” - Kenny Ackerman

Having been a first responder for a short while, my eyes were really opened to this concept. Life is not all good and serendipitous. Sometimes horrific things happen, and there’s no deeper meaning. You got shafted and that’s the end. You can never tell me a baby dying happens for a reason. Or a son loses his dad that he loved because it’s part of a “plan.” Life is brutally raw. Entropy is in effect. We don’t have to assign a deeper meaning for events happening. BUT, I believe that we DO have to love hard and make the most of this life. There’s this beautiful, perplexing paradox about life - nothing really matters, but it all matters so damn much.

Rebecca and Alithia... I loved them both at the end. Rebecca's optimism and Alithia's nihilism... Seeing light and dark clash like that is awesome.

These videos are absolutely wonderful. Idk but a weird sort of comfort flows through me watching these kind of existential stuff. Lately I have been suffering from Anxiety and panic attacks and feel like I won't make it. But content like these calms me down.

"If you are alive, is that not enough?" Not always, being the only one left is not necessarily a good thing. Being forced to choose between solitary despair and actively no longer being alive may be worse than not surviving in the first place.

"Isn't being alive enough?" When life beares so much on you, being alive doesn't change much, having a life without purpose or happiness is having no life at all. It is very hard to be positive and optimistic looking thru a broken lens...

Today is my birthday. I'm sipping my coffee and reflecting on my life and what's happened so far, wondering what lays ahead and worrying about an uncertain future. I remind myself to lighten up and not take life too seriously because no one gets out alive. Live in the moment and enjoy the little things, give your all to the things that matter to you and let the pieces fall where they may.

I love the detail that Alithia is a Greek word that means "truth", and she is the one that speaks to the falsehood of the phrase and reveals the truth about it.

I'm dealing with chronic illness that has me in physical pain everyday that continues to get worse each year. This video hit deep

What people seem to always forget about the saying "everything happens for a reason" is the fact that the reason can be positive and can also be negative

As far as I know I wasn't ask if i wanted to be born in a human body, so i accept it. I doubt I'll be asked how or when I want to die, so i accept it. So why would I complain about things not going my way ? It's never been my way, so i accept it and go with the flow.

I feel like life only has as much meaning as you give it. It’s up to you to find the beauty in the ugly. Because if you just view life through a depressive lens, then how are you ever suppose to get to a point where your happy in life?

If Hell or Heaven is real, you would live for eternity and that is the most terrifying thing

Started reading your book last week and it's been helping me to find meaning in the meaninglessness. Thanks for your work!

I can’t thank this channel enough for the incredible insights about life and reality. I found it in the midst of an existential crisis and it has helped me to come out the other side as better rounded and complete individual. I feel as though I’ve come to terms with death and the confidence and freedom that gives me is incredible. Thank you

A woman that I connected with randomly after she unmatched me on tinder said "everything happens for a reason" when I mentioned we were having a good conversation and asked why she unmatched. I responded with "good point, maybe the universe was protecting me from you." She didn't know how to respond. Oh well...

Rebecca: "Well...if you are alive...is that, not enough?" Alythia: "Umm...my brother is DEAD! Were you not paying attention to anything I said?"

"It's strange" she thought "How the void of something can weigh more than it's presence" That line hits dude

I truly believe no one is responsible for anything that happens in their life, be it good or bad. The universe doesn't care about your existence or well-being. It simply is. Things just happen. And I'm not sure if that makes me relieved or unconfortable.

I learned a long time ago....I simply did not matter. Sure I matter to myself, sure I matter to others, and others matter to me. But to some people in the world I know I don't matter. I simply do not matter to the Universe. It has given me no indication that it thinks, cares, or loves. It just is. When something really cool happens...I'm happy BUT, just as easily as something good can happen, something else can just as easily crush you without mercy.

"Well, if you are still alive, is that not enough?" This question makes me wonder if she ever understood the argument and realised the contradiction? The problem is that if you say there is a reason for just being alive you are ignoring the contradiction which just goes back to the same argument, like the events of death or suffering while being alive.

I have been on both sides of this same argument several times in my life. Sometimes, when life is really dark, it is hard to see the reason for everything but I do believe that those dark moments are often there to teach us something we wouldn't see otherwise, or it's preparation for something that could happen in the future. Life does get to be too much sometimes and sometimes the breeze carries us easily to new heights we never could have reached if we didn't lose something in the process. Every time I lose, I eventually "win" but it's never instant and sometimes takes a while to understand why it was so to find my "prize". Thank you again for your thoughtful videos and conscious ad for mental health services. The blues have their welcome place but can get way too heavy for even the strongest of souls. Good to know more help is out there.

personally i very much prefer living with the philosophy that nothing happens for a predetermined reason. the dominos just fall as they will. i lose the comfort of feeling cared about by the undefined universe, but i also never have my beliefs shattered. i dont need the love of a god or energy, it makes the real human love im surrounded by so much more important and visible.

As always a thought provoking brilliant episode. Kind of reminded me of driving somewhere that’s busy, being stuck in slow traffic and choosing to go another way.....that then takes longer. We usually automatically think that the original way would of been quicker......truth is there’s no way to know and that in reality it doesn’t matter as we didn’t choose to do that so can never know. We all make choices all of the time never knowing what our choice or another one would have resulted in. Random I know!

Saying "Everything happens for a reason" is not the same as saying "Everything happens for a good reason".

We live in a chaotic world, everything which happens is random and meaningless.

Humans are so good at pattern recognition, that we see them even when there's none. Fact is, bad things can happen to good people, and good things can happen to bad people. This can only mean one of two things; either destiny is apathetic or sadistic. Keep this in mind before you try to comfort someone with false patterns.

thank you, pursuit of wonder; thank you robert. your new book came out at a really trying time in my life. with big changes currently on the horizon and lots of uncertainty, i found comfort and solace in the well written stories and philosophical analysis you've shared i haven't read a lot of books recently, as my passion for reading has been a bit stunted by my desire to spend time on things i find worthwhile - and i've been uninterested in most kinds of books that have been popular these days... The Art of Living a Meaningless Existence (along with your videos) has validated the way i've been thinking about existence and life since i was a child. people have always told me that i think too much and read too much into things and overanalyze, but i have a deep drive to explore and question the world around me; to find and delight in mystery, to turn over ideas and "truths" that have been instilled in me at a time when i couldn't possibly have known better this pursuit has led me down dark unknown paths to ideas and feelings other people are scared to venture into, but it's comforting to know that you - and other people in the community you've grown - are right here with me.. though i may not hear all your voices and i may never meet any of you, it's simply nice to know others are walking down the same path and struggling with the same puzzles at one point i was recommended a video, a strange looking one with a weird title that kind of spooked me a bit and i didn't know if i should click on it. it kept popping up in my feed and i finally decided to give it a shot, and it was my first time experiencing pursuit of wonder. such value. such inspiration and perspective. so yeah, thank you for sharing with us what you create. i thoroughly enjoy and am entertained by, and inspired and humbled by your thoughtful work. it's among the greatest, most worthwhile experienced i've ever had with media and i wish you continued success and enjoyment

A reason can be found for anything !

I go by this saying “everything happens for a reason sometimes the reason is you messed something up along the way”

"It's not so much that I must succeed, but I must see others suffer."

The last laugh made me bust out laughing. Some people are so happy and grateful for the bare minimum. Maybe that’s why I’ve had such a hard time finding happiness.

„The events of our lives don’t need reasons. We need them”

I would say we find meaning in the course of our lives rather than things happen for a reason. We need to make sense and meaning of things because it’s inexorably linked to our will to survive so we need to rationalize things.

The people who don't survive can't tell you that it happened for a reason or not.

Thank you for these I really needed this

What is so amazing about this channel is that this man is leaving a part of himself, he is leaving his mark. These videos will exist for as long as humans exist.

I got this video at a time when I needed it the most.. My life just taking a u turn..m feeling good now... Thanku for this video👍👍👍

Hey man i literally cry every video i watch. It's like " what? Other people think like this too?" You're a great story writer /teller and a great philosopher of course. You manage to make me feel so many emotions in very little time. Thank you from the heart

Being alive is enough of a reason to be hopeful.

"It’s strange how the void of something can weigh so much more than its presence." wow.

Believing that everything happens for a reason is very empowering concept that allows us to go throw life's challenges more successfully and calmly Even if it wasn't true still way more beneficial psychologically than believing it's just a chaotic life It's like the free will debate even though science doubting it still it's more beneficial for us to believe that we have a free will than just living as a puppets controlled by something else ..

Life is what you make it. Realities and fantasies has no distinction of what can be and can’t. Ideals and beliefs lies in the same subjected perspective . What is, is what is. How things are, is how it is. And who you are is who you are. Life is what you make of it.

The way each video is better than the next is amazing and you have quite possibly the best voice for narration I’ve ever heard. Keep up the awesome work this is the best channel on RU-vid!

Life it's just random,without meaning at all. We just try to give a meaning for our peace of mind, and that its enough for most of us!!!!

You're a modern day philosopher. Thank you so much for your inspiring thoughtful videos...

Thank you - for teaching me the lesson I needed all my life ❤

Is it better to lie to myself to feel better? Or to accept the painful reality? I want to believe that all the loneliness I'm experiencing is, in some convoluted way, going to lead me to a happy life soon. That it will guide me towards finding the perfect partner, that I won't feel alone anymore. But I don't know if I can lie to myself, and I don't know if I'll believe it. I don't know if it's right or wrong.

Things just happens, we are the story teller of our life giving a meaning to what happens to frame it in our story. In the end, it's still about the battle between the rational mind and the ancestral spirit that talks to us through emotions.

Life and death are inevitable . Life is about doing and living our best for the best positive of all and us. The one who is positive will always find the positive out of a unexpected good or bad event , and learn from it for a better tomorrow. The one who gets discouraged is the one who feels he is too weak and puts everything on the circumstance and refuses to stand again. Every failure or disaster has a thing or lesson to be learnt . But it becomes a reason only when we are looking to live our lives to help others and keep working for the universe who created us.

I love your story telling videos explaining the message. The stories are always so inticing. Keep doing these more often

I listen to your videos like a bed time story at night..your voice is so soothing and calming,which puts me to sleep...the stories you narrate is so good and the voice makes it even better...i added your podcast on spotify as well

so many people tell me everything happens for a reason and I just want to smack them. Its like a lame cop out

I'm comfortable with the fact that world doesn't revolve around me. I'm comfortable with the fact that God doesn't exist. I'm comfortable with the fact that our lives have no apparent meaning. No it doesn't makes me hopeless, rather its more liberating. It's our innate human nature to look for reasons all the time. There is none! If something bad happens to you; no, no great thing is waiting for you to happen.This kind of thinking is only a coping mechanism, nothing else. Try to see the world as it is. Ruthless, unkind, yet beautiful in its own way. Don't believe in anything that you assume could be true. May be you were wrong all along, who knows.

I’ve reached the conclusion we can face anything life brings our way. However, the yearning of the human heart is like a restless thoroughbred tethered to the stable. A life force in need of daily attention and freedom of expression.

Imagine your loved one dies and someone tells you "everything happens for a reason." You're entitled to believe whatever you want, but when a young person loses also young person who was big part of their life, don't tell them everything happens for a reason, at least while they're still grieving. It's just a bad timing.

Based title

There is a reason for everything, but the reasons often have nothing to do with us.

I mean if there is some kind of superhuman power/deity/god, there is definitely almost always a reason. But if there isn't, nothing happens for a reason. It is just "chaos" and it is your own perception of the"chaos" that defines "a reason" and gives it a meaning.

"Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV." - Morty Smith

„Nothing“ happens for a REASON. There you go. Regards, a fellow semi-determinist

Nothing happens for a reason but the matter we move legitimately has a butterfly effect with surrounding matter, like a closed system eco dome that turns the nutrients into more broken down elements you can literally see with time. The micro organisms literally change their surroundings until they die. Because of a great filter. Their filter is a jar. What’s your jar? You could argue whatever you can influence.

Obviously. You'd have to be insane to think the world is anything other than sheer and utter random chaos.

Your writing, music, and visuals are absolutely incredible. 10/10 It’s easy to see how passionate you are about this. I love how these videos make you really slow down and think.

When bad things happen we say oh there's no reason we just suffer blah blah but when good things happen we wanna own credit to them and act like the reason is we deserve them 😂. Humans..

Whether or not everything happens for a reason, the same things happen. It is whether or not you make the connection, you find the reason. You can either live to be the victim your whole life, or find the reasons things happen.

We do give it meaning to survive...

I enjoy your videos but I specifically wanted to compliment you on the writing. It's really engaging...Nice work!

The absolute myopic nihilism in this video is startling. Just because someone dies doesn't mean things don't happen for a reason. If there is no afterlife, then sure, everything is more or less meaningless in the long haul, but if there is another world, a better world, then we're here to learn and everything has ultimate meaning. :)

In all fairness, I don't really think things happen for a reason but rather it happens due to randomness and if that randomness has you be alive and better off then I am grateful for that.

In life I'm always Alithia.

"Ah, ya, I totally like, love you too, baby. Cheers!"

Sometimes it really is just as simple as luck (good or bad). Sometimes fate is out of our hands. There’s more to being human than choice, there’s vicissitude. There are unexpected changes that we have no control over. Things don’t happen for a reason. Things just happen, and then we GIVE them a reason to pacify ourselves. Life is less about getting what you want and more about making the best of what you get.

When you consider the vastness of space and time and reality, and compare them with your ability to understand them, you will then understand that you have no idea if there are reasons for the way things happen. "We are pieces on the chessboard; moved by unseen hands, for unknown ends." - Ranazu the Etruscan

There's something in this sequence of thoughts that hits deep. Perhaps that's what profound ideas do to us.

The Serenity Prayer comes to mind. I've slowly come to the conclusion that we've been lied to about the true nature of this realm & our existence. Best wishes to you all

Nothing ever happens. Eternal stillness in motion. Always only this

That's seems a cogent argument distinguishing between death and being alive as bad and good respectively. however, life is more than that, survival with constant disappointments with the knowledge of infirmity & death and with occasional happiness. How better are we from the ones who are already dead?

You videos helped me through a very touch life mentally and i appreciate this channel existing and you being so good at teaching thank you!

We give/create reasons to whatever happens. (just a human ego thing)

Do whatever consciously, balance and withdraw carefully.

Life happens, it happens to everyone. It's up to us to live it or waste it. No matter how much pain we are given with, there's always a sense of relief after every painful event. If there's no pain, there will be no happiness.

That ending flipped me, Love it

I really admire the work you do , it really provides a new perspective into everything, more growth to you sir 🙏🏽

That banal, obscene line, "everything happens for a reason"

What is up with these hypothetical scenarios? Most of it isn't practical. Strange. And No, "If you're alive, is it not enough?" No. When life is suffering, no. Or creating a life of suffering for yourself, No. Like I said, most of it isn't practical or as simple as giving lip service.

On accident by design... To add complexity to our simple mental nature. We're the part of that nature through which it sees itself and creates. We're just here to do the work.

i can't express how much i fucking love this channel

I always say "Nothing happens for a reason. Everything only happens because of a reason".

If you are reading this, know that sometimes you have to go through darkness to get to the light.... So worry no more for the lord is with you. Amen

Everything happens for a reason, but it doesn't mean we would know what the reason is.

Its the feelgood story of the year that we were all waiting for lol. I hear Hollywood calling you should pitch your story's to a movie producer because its better than the crap that's out there now lol. No really it is. :)

Your videos are a beautiful reminder of...life.

The name of video made me click so fast and confused!

Y'all need to stop advertising betterhelp. They collect and record patient sessions. It's a data collection service. A lot of them arent even therapist, but "life coaches". The ubereats of mental health services.

Been watching your videos for 3 years now......🙏🙏🙏 thank u so much ...change my life

Life is constant suffering, yet most of us are still addicted to it.