I didn't find anything wrong with Susan Jane actually. She just have different values and beliefs unlike everyone elses. I do align myself with her and is like her/thought like her. Because like everyone else I am different. But what happened was, she got too consumed by her difference and did not understand that in reality.. there isn't a one size fits all society. She wants connection yes. And she couldn't find that with everything she sees around her that is why it has been so difficult. Considering what she values which is also different from the rest, she felt like an outcast. If Susan had good parental support as well as wise and knowledeable mother and father. She would realize that it is ok 🙂. It's just that some people like sushi when you like chicken lol. Find people who like chicken/sushi/whatever you like as an individual. If there is none, it isn't the end of the world. There's always a chance out there. You would be surprised that there are actually people who like what you like. You just have to find them 🙂
If I was hanging out with somebody, and she got a root beer while I got an ice cream cone, I wouldn't have thought her out of place. I just would have figured she was thirsty, rather than hungry. If she changed her order to copy mine, THEN I might have thought it odd.
I was an outgoing girl in school and I would be most likely go up to a kid who was shy or quiet. I actually met one of my childhood best friend’s that way and we’re still friends today.
I always got along with the different crews and clicks in my hometown. There was the normal tough Street fights to endure with some but that was just the crazy era we had in the 70's I believe life is as loving as we chose to make it. If young people knew how much God loves them they would never be too concerned about what the insiders thought about them!😉
I was saying to my sister - they should show these in schools now, they are interesting and quirky bing so old. But it also shows kids to day they are not uniquely picked don by life, many of the problems are the same as they were 70 years ago.
It is hokey, but it does has good advice. I spent a of miserable moments in school because i assumed people didn't want to talk to me or that i wasn't good enough. We waste so much time hating ourselves.
I recently had this happen actually. I became friends with my neighbors during quarantine and they were yelling and knocking for me to come outside since I hadn’t been out for a while due to my anxiety and depression. It was sweet.
I recently had this happen actually. I became friends with my neighbors during quarantine and they were yelling and knocking for me to come outside since I hadn’t been out for a while due to my anxiety and depression. It was sweet.
Be your own Marcy 😁🙂. We can't really and always rely on others to be there for us. It would be nice yes. But like ourselves, they also have a life to live.
The best compliment I ever got was from a kid in my class that told me I was the only person who ever talked to him. I seek out the people sitting by themselves because they usually are the funniest or have great observations. You should never let someone be by themselves.
I got the same compliment from talking to the quiet new girl class. Except that it was from her father when we accidentally met him because he wanted to fix our computer.
There must be something wrong with me, too. It you ordered root beer when I ordered a chocolate ice cream cone, I would have missed your outsider behavior. I would have just thought that you were thirsty, rather than hungry.
I was always the one reaching out to the outsiders in school. I always tried to include them no matter what regardless of their background. A lot of them are broken at home, I would chat them up and make them feel good. It makes me feel good.
So good you did this In the words of a famous man Jesus who said that you must love your neighbor as yourself and in the words of a famous song what a wonderful world it would be you have done what Jesus said Peace to you Eileen
You want to give Susan Jane a hug. She needs love like we all do, she's just scared and overthinks a bit. Her friend was right in telling her she felt like that before. In time, Susan may meet someone who is charmed by her introversion.
I was and still am that same girl. The outsider looking in. Never being accepted no matter what i tried. I just learned to accept it and learned to be my own friend and follow my own drummer. Now at 60 years old, i am happier being alone.
I was bullied so bad. Not excluded, straight up bullied by everyone in my school. I was in therapy at age 8 because I was suicidal. By middle school I was quiet and always sitting alone reading and they’d still go out of their way to bully me. I was so grateful for homeschool when I was in highschool. I feel for Susan but being left out can be so much better than being tormented and tortured everyday
I was in therapy too, though later on in high school. My 1 or 2 friends always seemed to live in other districts and we attended different schools. My junior year was the most lonely and miserable time of my life; no friends or Sweet 16 party (though my mom would have given me one, and didn't know how to help an overly sensitive introvert like me). Lots of bullying and stomachaches before school due to nerves. I met other outsiders in time, but you couldn't pay me anything to relive high school.
@@kendallmiller85 I’m very happy and married to a man I would have only dreamed of in middle school. He looks like Same Heugn and we have two beautiful little boys, but I still have to work through the trauma. Sometimes we have nights where I just lay on my husband and he tells me all the reasons he loves me because I’ve been so conditioned to believe no one could even like me. But, it is rare to have nights like that and I am very happy and very lucky. I know some children aren’t and end up killing themselves
I was horribly bullied from 5th through 7th grade. I was saved by attending a Christian school. I find it highly significant that my home town of Oakland CA is now a shantytown, with one of the highest murder rates in the country.
The narrator at 10:50 sounds like the robo guy that calls me to tell me that the Internal Revenue Services has a warrant for my arrest and that I should call to discuss the case.
@@sameoldthing4037 True, not as much anymore (except maybe in the deep South), but my granddaughters (all of whom are 3 and under) all have double names.
This is how it was in hs for me. Except the people she wanted to hang around would be the equivalent of preps/jocks. I was a poor kid. I hung around the goths and kids who lived in the ghetto. We got along quite "swell" lol. I know I'm turning this story inside out, but maybe this just wasn't the group for her to hang around because she WAS different! It's ok to be different!!
When I was in middle school (one of the worst times in anyone's life) I remember one bully-ish school kid in the popular crowd who always thought he was so cool, and always made fun of others and laughed at them. One time he was making fun of a not-very-talkative kid, Andy, who grew up on a sheep farm. Instead of verbally defending himself, Andy just simply swung at the bully hard pretty right into the gut, and that bully doubled over and took a while to recover. To this day, it was one of the best things I ever saw.
@@CadeD679Yep, i understand, i experienced the same criticism and pressure for not finding my social marks altough to be honest i wasn' yelled at for it but rather looked down and ignored, which isn't better.
Susan Jane is just an introvert, with atrophied social skills. Understanding and kindness would go a long way with her. Back then, people thought that introverts had to be "fixed" because they were somehow broken. We've made some progress since those times, but not enough.
For those wondering what happened at the party, she brought a cake. It was chocolate. As soon as she walked through the door everyone cheered for her and she was so happy till a bucket on the door above her overturned, soaking her in root beer. Then everyone pointed and laughed at her chanting "Susan Susan Jane, there's root beer in your brain" and Susan Susan Jane ran from the party to find something to throw herself on and cry. Junior ate the cake.
@@zvezdoblyat Well my comment posted on the wrong comment for some reason. But WHY would you go to the trouble of typing out such a negative comment - if that is the inside of your head - maybe keep it to yourself...!?!?!?
@@piccalillipit9211 you think 3 words followed by hahaha is negative? If I was really trying I would write "go fuck yourself hahaha". THAT is a rude comment. Anyway, the person you responded to saying you wanna get a rootbeer? is actually making fun of the original comment. The innuendo is that since the original commenter feels like an outcast, the rootbeer symbolises their "strangeness" instead of the ice cream cone just like Susan in the video. You should learn to not get offended by such trivial matters. Good day.
I always thought it was them who was stuck up not me .Anytime somebody started speaking to me it ended up that they started making fun of me in front of a bunch of people .By the way i"m Rays wife .I use his acount. I hope your not mad!
i was susan jane growing up. i know how what it was like where no one hardly talked to or asked to be a part of their friends group. also marcy you are the real one in this friend group. going to check up on susan and make sure she’s alright.
4:06 "I don't know anybody that's scared of me" says a young John Wayne Gacy. 6:24 Take heart, Susan Jane: they weren't hating on you, they were hating someone else entirely --- so you see, All's Right With The World!
Daaaamn this hit home. When the girl said "who's Susan Jane Smith?" and she's in the same homeroom class. In 7th grade one day they invited parents to sit in on classes. My mother came, and the teacher introduced her to the class, "This is Sarah Pxxx's mom!" This one kid goes, "who's Sarah Pxxx?" He genuinely didn't know.
That was a very simplistic film. I was the outcast; I now know that I have Asperger's syndrome, which explains a lot. However, my family was not supportive; in fact, my father kept asking me why I couldn't "learn how to act right". If a bunch of kids had invited me to their party I would not have gone because I would suspect that they only invited me to make fun of me for their own amusement. Sometimes I wonder how I actually lived through that.
My daughter also has Asperger's. I showed her this video to show her that she is not alone. I try my best to help her find a way that will work for her. we're not there yet. But we're working on it.
I applaud you in doing so. I didn't find out that this is what I have until the age of 69; as a child, I was constantly told that I was "bad" and as I got older, I was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia, of all things. What an unbelievable relief to learn that my brain is just differently wired.
Sorry to hear about your misfortunes. I had to deal with my Autism too, as well as learning disabilities. I have Level 1 PDD. In plain, simple English, ASD of any form, really fucking sucks when you are the only kid around with it. My parents tried their best with little to no information about what I had. My father had little effort in helping me, but my mother detected my odd development by comparing me to other little girls. My mother thought it was super odd that a 2 year old would sit in the same spot on the couch for hours, just rocking back and forth. I would not get up from there till someone told me to. My mom knew that was something wrong, "normal" two year olds don't sit on one spot of the couch for hours. They usually slouch, move about, stand up on the couch and jump around on it, but not sit for hours. Thankfully my mother knew of a cousin with sever learning disabilities while growing up with her on the farm. My mother as a girl would be visited by her cousin with the disabilities. My mother taught her because at home everyone had some form of disabilities and/or disorders so education wasn't handle well, but my mother saw a lot of potential with her cousin. The girl could speak and learn just as anyone else, just slower, not like her siblings who couldn't be taught at all. This experience stayed in my mother, because I am living proof it can be done and that I can communicate with the world now. I still struggle though. I get extremely frustrated with "normal" non-disabled/non-disordered individuals. They expect us with disorders and/or disabilities to act and follow through the behavior rules in the way that they (the non-disable/non-disorder types) don't even follow or practice themselves. It is confusing and angers me a whole lot. I'm bless to have the mother I have who understands my fits of anger and frustrations. She knows I try hard, but society doesn't make it easy with its inconsistent and hypocritical ways of doing things. Yet society loves to point fingers at the likes of us and say we are the disabled/disordered ones. Personally, I think we are the normal ones and everyone else has problems. At least, after education and training, we are consistent with our view points and how things ought to be done properly. We believe in true fairness. We stay in line and wait to be called upon or wait for our turn. We stay true to schedule. When educated well we can be the most upkeep, super organizer that any company can hire and so much more. Don't let other people put you down for your ASD. Plus, have you thought about sharing how you over came your Asperger's with children who are going through the same? I teach individuals with disabilities and/or disorders. I think it is important for those of us who overcame the obstacles that we were born with and the ones society places on us to share to those going through the same. We've been there and can give guidance, suggestions and tips. Even if it is just sharing your life story with dealing Asperger's growing up and talking about what you are doing now will bring inspiration to some kids who have your type of ASD.
BTW, I was diagnosed with mental retardation at age 2, later it was changed to Learning Disabilities at age six, later added PDD level 1 as a teenager and in mid-20s ADD with chronic depression with suicidal tendencies. Personally I just think I have PDD level 1 (a form of Autism) with learning disabilities... of course I would feel that I want to kill myself living in this shit world that doesn't even follow its own fucking rules. Apologizes for the language. I'm just fed up with this contradicting world. I also feel comfortable speaking to you, because even though our Autisms aren't the same... in a way somehow I feel you are the closest person I ever meant, who is older than I am, who at least experienced something similar to what I had experienced. I never meant or read or heard someone with Autism speak about her experience with this disorder who is beyond their 20s. There are books about Autism, but they all tend to stop after age 25... the research, not the disorder. I tell my students all of the time this shit follows you to the grave. There is no cure. It is a disorder, not a disease. I think we need to share our stories so more can be done for individuals such as ourselves. I kid you not. There are people who believe and swear that Autism ends once a person graduates from high school (23-25 years of age they are sent out of public education systems). We don't just get "cured" or disappear. LOL I'm so sorry for the long talks. I'm just excited to meet you. You have no idea how ... this... my brain is tinkling with joy. I have so many questions, but don't know where to state, except ask you... how and what helped you over come your Asberger's? I'm so sorry for being such a bother. This is such a first for me.
First of all, please don't apologize for your language. It's appropriate where this level of anger is concerned. That's why I can curse in more than one language. I, too, was misdiagnosed - as a schizophrenic, of all things. I never could understand this one since the only time I've hallucinated was the result of a high fever as a pre-schooler. You're right that this condition does not disappear. I think one of the reasons it seems to drop out of existence at the age you mentioned is because people seem to think that all the socialization techniques and medications have done what they can by that age. And, to tell you the truth, I do not entirely see autism as a disorder. This is how the neurotypicals, those who haven't experienced it, view what the cannot understand. It does not fit within the boundaries of their world, so it must be a disorder of some kind. It basically comes down to interpreting sensory input in ways that differ from the supposed norm. I have not overcome my Asperger's; I have simply learned to live with it because this is who and what I am. The relief that I do not have to worry about suddenly having a psychotic, schizophrenic episode that will ruin my life and make me a burden, the fact that I do not have to despise myself any longer because I am not like everyone else, nor will I ever be, these are the things that have freed me from wasting my time and energy on the total futility of "fitting in". Be yourself; revel in it. I would suggest that you go to your library and ask for some books by a woman named Temple Grandin. She is also autistic and I think you will learn a great deal from what she has done with her life, and how she's done it. Best of luck to you, and thank you for your reply.
Always remember to repent of your sins (sin is transgression of YAHUAH’S LAW: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, & Deuteronomy) And Have Belief On YAHUSHA HAMASHYACH. HE Died and Rose three days later so that you can be forgiven of your sins! HE Loves you! Come to HIM!🙂🙂🙂🙂
The part about the chocolate ice cream reminded me of one of the Buddy Bears skits from Garfield and Friends. The Buddy Bear insisted that everyone had to agree on everything, and if you didn't want the flavor of ice cream that they all chose, they would drop a safe on you. "If you ever disagree, it means that you are wrong! Oh, we are the Buddy Bears, we always get along!"
I was a Susan Jane a long long time ago...shyness is a social disability & holds u back in every aspect of u'r life & if shyness is in u'r DNA u have to work that much harder to gain more confidence & be bold!! Only u can do It!! Always start with having something sensible or funny to say but run it through u'r mind first before u open u'r mouth! Be sure to smile at other people & ask questions! Confidence (the key word here) comes with age & experience! But in the meantime practice the above! (I LOVE all these old films😊)
Poor Susan Jane 😢. The 1940s didn't understand introverts. It seems like they needed a Susan Jane at their party. She probably could tell them all about the books and music they never knew about. Susan Jane, I imagine, blossomed into a 1950s beatnik and a 1960s flower child. I want a friend like Susan Jane 🌼!
That reminds me of my mom, she was so shy! She hated the fifties, enjoyed the sixties, and LOVED the seventies. It was her decade, a time of woman power and independence. But she has no love for fifties retro.
If I heard some guy's voice inside my head asking me if I'll "fit in," "do the right things," ""make" them like me"....I"d first be finding a really top notch psych specialist to get help getting the voice OUT of my head!!!!
Susan Jane's only problem is being shy to the point that no one sees her. It doesn't matter how crazy your personality is. Be yourself and don't be shy, the right kind of people will like the Real you.
We don’t know why she’s shy. At that age, after so many failed interactions, being a quiet outsider could be a form of survival. Less likely to become the victim of bullying if you don’t exist. But sometimes the loneliness gets to you, and you let down your guard a little. Like Mekel Reen said, she tried. Now imagine if she had tried a little harder, and invited some of them for a meal or something. They agree, show up, wonderful. Now, after a routine has been set where she continually invites people, she stops asking. They congregate around her, and they start making their own plans. Backs turned, a lot of nonverbal communication indicating that despite being a foot or two away, she’s not included. She might even try to remind herself that she’s there, and asks to tag along. They agree, because they would be jerks if they said no. Eventually she decides to stop asking all together just to see. Never once do they ask her. I’ve done this experiment. Even been accused of being reclusive. How? Tally up how many times who asked who? Things just aren’t that simple.
Always remember to repent of your sins (sin is transgression of YAHUAH’S LAW: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, & Deuteronomy) And Have Belief On YAHUSHA HAMASHYACH. HE Died and Rose three days later so that you can be forgiven of your sins! HE Loves you! Come to HIM!🙂🙂🙂🙂
My interpretation is that Susan Jane Smith is a highly intelligent and sensitive person. Her interests are different and she is not social by nature. Although she wants to belong and be accepted by those around her, her experience of life is fundamentally different and she feels alienation in her distinctness. The group here has good intentions, but I think what would suit her best is to find her intellectual, emotional and social peers, however rare they may be. Just trying to fit in is a path to misery.
I just visited the grave of a 14 year old classmate who hanged himself in 1970 because he was treated so bad by kids at school. To this day I feel bad about it because I didn't stand up for him for fear of being treated the same way.
WOW thats a lot to carry around for 54 years. I think maybe you can forgive yourself now. You were a kid and you didn't know what was going to happen. Had you even thought it a possibility - im sure you would have stood up for him...
"To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human being can fight - and never stop fighting." ~ e. e. cummings
*The four questions at the end of the film are most important.* True, some people do not mix well with certain types, but each person can be kind and accepting, regardless of personality differences. Sadly, this type of ostracism occurs in the workplace too. Some people have the gift of being easy to love, but the ones who are harder to love are usually the ones who need it most. I met a woman at the hospital where I worked 9 years ago. No one really liked her because she was very unappealing and deliberately blunt. I doubt she could help it, but it made her hard to be around. This is awful, but she would regularly pick at her skin and eat the skin, pick her nose and eat it, pick her scabs and eat them (she had small scabs all over her forearms from the constant picking). I know there is a name for that condition, but I can’t think of it right now. She would also severely bite her nails. It was hard to be around her, but I think I was her only local friend (she has mostly online friends), and I just tried not to notice the behaviours she had that turned me stomach. She didn’t care that she did these things, or that she did them in front of anyone and everyone, including her boss. Sometimes I tried to tell her gently, “You’re hurting yourself. Please don’t do that.” She would acknowledge what I said, but she didn’t care to modify her habits. I don’t know that she could. She has a masters degree and is a statistician. I just don’t know that she cared to make the connection that her mannerisms put people off and caused them not to want to be around her. She was also loud and short tempered, greedy, and always seemed to be out for herself. Underneath everything, I know she wasn’t happy. She married a 20 years older man than she; someone who I believe just needed a meal ticket (she makes pretty decent money), and of course he does not treat her right. I am still her friend, but I have long since left that hospital. It is a one sided friendship in that I sow and she reaps, but I still think I am her only genuine friend. I feel bad for her, even though she has done and said some pretty hurtful things to me. I chalk it up to the fact she probably just can’t help it. All in all, I think I have been a good and conscientious friend. I’m not sure what else I can do (or could have done) for her. Once when she was suicidal, I took her to the ER and stayed with her the whole time. I was with her when she went to her first psychiatrist appointment. As an aside, all they did was prescribe antidepressants, which don’t seem to be helping her. I’ve never judged her, or been unkind to her, but it’s not easy being her friend sometimes. -I think I just needed to vent. Thanks for reading this. ♥️
@@AndWhatIsThisNow Thanks, but it’s called dermatillomania. It’s on the obsessive/compulsive spectrum. Pica is when one craves certain things like ice, laundry starch or dirt; usually due to mineral deficiency.
