It upsets me so much that taxi driver has become the template for the incel when it has always been an exploration of a mentally unwell veteran returning home from war. At least veterans have experienced the falsehoods of the sacrificial male trope, one that incels can pretend to understand but will never truly comprehend.
Incels have little self awareness, often misinterpreting works that criticize aspects of masculinity or the world. Instead glamorizing it, let’s not mention fight club.
It's strange to see that a movie as complex as The Taxi Driver has become this younger generations template for an incel for me it showcases the disillusionment and loneliness a soldier can feel returning to back to civilian life
Nope taxi driver is not about a veteran it's about a crazy man who always wanted to kill people so he went to the war, his life had no meaning and he just wanted to unleash his violence, he pointed his gun on random people in the street and tried to commit assanination...he was reading the stranger, a book about a psycho who finds life absurd..he was crazy way before vietnam.
Isabelle Huppert is easily one of the greatest actresses Europe has ever produced. How she can with the smallest facial changes, in the scene where Walter reads her letter, go from contained excitement to dread is nothing but phenomenal.
The Piano Player reminds me of Grey Gardens. Narcissistic mothers are so scary, they'll have you running back to the hand that hit you over and over again.
You run back to the hand that hit you because the mother considers the daughter an extension of herself via enmeshment. She trained you to believe your talents are hers to manipulate and control. Run as fast as you possibly can, but you will not escape her grasp. If you manage to escape the mother’s ensnarement, you carry the dysfunction with you and it distorts your relationships and your self worth.
It reminds me of my neighbour. There is mother and son who is soooo attached to one another,the son is more dominant and they even sleep together. If the mother is not at home ,the son gets mad and threaten to burn her clothes if she doesn't come soon. It's so bizarre
Dude the mother-daughter relationship in the first movie reminds me a lot of the mother-daughter relationship in Black Swan! Both very talented and sheltered daughters living with a controlling and domineering abusive mother. I really like when movies and shows talk about the toxic relationships that mothers can have with their daughters. Because I actually do have a mother who is a truly terrible person. She's an addict who literally ruins the life of every single person around her. She's always been weirdly jealous and controlling and hateful to my sister and i. I ran away from home at 17 and never went back. Whenever people ask about my parents I just say I'm an orphan. It's so much easier than trying to explain that my mother is literally evil. When I first ran away I did explain that to people and I can't tell you how many people told me I shouldn't have cut my mother off because she just wants what's best for me. When they didn't even know my mother first of all, and secondly no she didn't. She only wants what's best for herself. I think it's really beyond people who have good mothers to understand that a mother can really be an evil person. It's just such an alien concept, so outside of their own experience and relationship with their mother that they literally can't understand it. Especially because in the vast vast majority of all media and all stories mothers are pretty much universally seen as truly good and loving. So I really think it's important to have media about abusive and toxic mothers EDIT: it really breaks my heart there are so many other people who can relate to this. You aren't alone and you don't deserve to be treated like that. Your mother should love you unconditionally and treat you with kindness and compassion. Your mother should never make you feel small, or unwanted or as if you're a burden, or you're the problem. A mother should be safety. It makes me so sad and im shocked there are so many of us on just this video! It must be more common than i realize and im sure many people never mention it because its just so difficult for people to understand. My heart goes out to all of you, you arent alone even if no one talks about their experiences openly ❤
I also grew up with an abusive parent who definitely had undiagnosed PTSD, bipolar, and narcissistic personality disorder. I would love to raise kids, but people always talk about how motherhood comes naturally and that you will grow to love them. I know this simply isn't true. Not everyone has a good mother. Not every women makes a good mother. Not every mother WANTS to be a good mother. Some people just can't imagine a woman/mother who is truly selfish, cruel, and neglectful. Some people assume every parent is "trying their best" which is naive and harmful. I'm sorry you ended up with a mother like that, you deserved better. I hope you know that the world is a better place with you in it, even if your parent doesn't make you feel that way.
Both of your comments describe my birthmother (I'm adopted now) and what I went through with her in my life. Everything else aside, I'm glad to see some comments that accurately reflect my experience
This is so true. People who haven't experienced a similar negative to you never truly understand and on some level refuse to understand. Very discouraging especially if you need someone to talk to or god forbid help in a life threaten situation
as a girl living with an overcontrolling mother i understand how detachment from your body can lead to paraphilias and destructive desires. in the age of 13-17 i suffered most severely & i remember being literally obsessed with masochistic fantasies, with them even leading to self-harm. i felt like i had a desperate need for roughest forms of submission. urinating instead of m@sturbatuon was a huge thing too. to my surprise, i found many things in this film extremely relatable and i was happy to see the representation. usually people don't understand how overcontrolling mothers can lead you to insanity, they think it's not a big deal
I watched "The Piano Teacher" while being in a bad place, and I so hoped Erika would break free. Despite her flaws and perversion, she is somewhat worth sympathy. One of the arcs in the movie is of a girl student with a mother, that reminds Erika of hers. You can see she doesn't want that child to crumble like she did, and in the end, in a twisted way she helped her escape the burden of expectations. Even if it was just a blunt rage of a jealous immature woman.
I mean, even though deliberately sabotaging someone by putting glass in their pocket so they can never play again is a bad thing, I objectively saw it as a good thing in this movie. Because it's made clear that the young piano player will only live in the same cycle as Erika who is deeply unhappy and disturbed. Erika set the young girl free.
True story - in my country Piano teacher came out around the same time as The Pianist. So there i was, watching a movie about WWII thinking "this is surprisingly less horny than I thought" 😅😅
I am 29, and my parents are older than 70. I don't understand how someone doesn't understand still, in 2023, that plenty of people have kids in their late 30s and their 40s
As someone who had a difficult phase buried in Femcel ideology this hits very close to home. Attempts to better one self were met with extreme resistance by others in the mindset and you spiral into your own self. Luckily I got out, got therapy, learned how to understand my own needs for emotional and physical intimacy. That love can't fix you alone.
@@lamardays883 I'm genuinely sorry that life has not been easy for you, but do you really not know ANY woman who has faced a significant challenge in her lifetime?
@@te-ter I think it's entirely women's responsibility to secure emotional relationships and men's to secure practical ones. Single motherhood is a failure to secure a familial relationships, so yeah, I see it as their fault 90+% of the time. You can pretend that outliers like drug abuse or domestic abuse make up more than 2% of single motherhood cases but you won't convince me.
I think codependent relationships with her mother and emotional incest played a huge role in Erika's case. She never became her own person. They just continued living like she still was a child. Relationship with a man can break this act and also could be seen as cheating. So everything romantic or sexual is a taboo. That's an ultimate femcel combo. Average or below looks combined with prudish and strict personality. So you never approached. Hard time excepting and expressing sexuality. You can't just go and have sex like men. What if they use you, what if they hurt you, what if they gonna slutshame you. I'm not even talking about health risks like pregnancy and STDs. If no one ever expressed any romantic interest in a woman, she doesn't have a safe space to be sexual. Love is a kind of a guarantee that a man is not going to hurt you cause he cares. So it leaves a woman trapped in this narrative. She can't do anything herself, but there's also no savior.
All of this. It took me till my late 20s to really be comfortable with my body and sexuality. I had an overbearing mother that judged me for everything so I was prudish, negative, weird, and not very attractive. I like men, but they didn't like me back. I had to make some major changes in my life, including low contact with family and getting a different job. It sucks, but my mental health is a lot better.
To be fair you can't really "just go and have sex" if you're a man. I suppose it depends and by what means, in the least that a man or woman deems you attractive and signals to you that they're interested in you that way. The other ways to go about it are certainly seen as unclean and dubious, and one of those ways being criminal and heinous. That is to say that it's not simply something to be done with ease, it is earned(if you're not the devil basically).
She wasn't bad looking but I think her very modest dress and lack of hobbies kept her from any male attention, atleast until her toxic relationship with her student
People labeling this movie and Taxi Driver as femcel or incel classics oversimplify and reduce the complexity of the issues both protagonists are experiencing. Both writers and directors effectively portray the deep-seated internal issues that can lead to extreme behavior. In The Piano Teacher, these issues and problems she faced manifested in self-harm, adding another layer of complexity to the character.
I agree that they don't neatly fit into either box, but the reality is that neither do self identified incels/femcels. I think that videos like this, which begin using a broad and oversimplified framework, but then focuse in on the complexities of the characters, could be a helpful mirror for people who are avoiding their real issues by relegating themselves to such a simplistic and self-victimizing classification.
Personally I think there’s at least a bit of overlap between these concepts though. Some people are labeled as incels who are actually going through complicated problems and the moment their illness/trauma comes through? “You just hate women!”
I’m a loud woman who could get laid by walking into a convenient store or grocery and picking a man. Attractive women have no problems in that department. Some of us swear off men and sex with men while we focus on ourselves. I did that. Then, I began dating women, and had the greatest sex I’ll ever have. Now, I’m (mostly) happily married, and I’d love to fuck more often, but my man isn’t a dominate personality and frankly, he’s lazy and inexperienced in that department. So, since I’m not going to cheat, but I love my hubby, I’m not sexually satisfied as I’d like to be, but I still have sex and I fuck myself at least 3 times a week. In fact, even unattractive women can get laid. I’ve never heard of a woman who is an “incel/femcel.” Ever.
I wonder if in some sick way Erika was attempting to free Anna from ending up like her by destroying her hands, which is the very thing Erika had been reduced to. and also it would like free her inner child or something..
@@citrus_sweet It's pretty clear that Erika saw herself in Anna and since she was still reluctant to receive affection from Walter, seeing him be so gentle and affectionate towards Anna tipped her over the edge
This film absolutely blew me away. The scene where she goes into the porn shop was gripping. I remember when I was like 15, I would watch a scene like that and think "this person is so dumb, why are they behaving in this self destructive way?" But now that I'm older, I get it. They need an escape. Characters that are trapped fascinate me.
To say that this character or "most" femcels just want to have a good relationship with a man who won't abuse them is missing so much of the picture. Erika doesn't want a "good" relationship. She only wants a man for one thing, and that is to solve all of her problems for her, and to provide him with nothing in return. Her ideal "romance" is to be removed from her mother, and that's it. And if masculinity can solve that problem, she'll accept. Otherwise, her passion is in torturing others and watching their pain. Incels and femcels should not be romanticized, period.
They shouldnt, but at the same time turning them into lepers will only further the spiral. I think there's probably a halfway point somewhere between lepers and romanticized
Yep. The exact problem with incels/femcels is that they see love is primarily self-serving. It's not. Love is all about self-sacrifice and service to your partner. If any of them once dared to genuinely care about another person's wellbeing they wouldn't be so miserable and alone.
@LynetteTheMadScientist I think genuinely caring isn't a choice for most us, it comes naturally. While I think some degrees of empathy can be learned or taught, a person has to already have a level of empathy inside of them and if they don't it's unlikely they will ever care for more than just themselves.
I watched this movie for the first time two weeks ago, and it's been just following me around like a phantom - crying out for some deconstruction. So it does sort of feel like you made this for me personally. Thank you!
@@msjkramey The term 'incel' was originally coined in 1993 by a woman named Alana to describe her own experiences of involuntary celibacy. Alana created a website called 'Alana's Involuntary Celibacy Project' as a safe space for people (not only women) who were involuntarily celibate, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation. However, the term has since been appropriated by a group of online misogynists who use it to describe themselves and to promote their harmful ideology.
The blog started as a way for people in general to vent off their frustration about not getting laid and all that, it wasn't exclusively male or female.
Both stories are tragic and the only thing they needed was human connection. And by human connection i don't mean friends that talk about the weather or how they hate their jobs or boss, nor a bf/gf that would satisfy their sexual fantasies. What they needed is that deep human connection with a community and a trained therapist/friend that could sit down with them, make them feel seen/heard without judgment and offer advice. I hate using labels like femcel and incel, i prefer to address people for what they are as individuals that just happen to fit a stereotype but i think it is a good step, as a society, to start seeing them as individuals rather than a label.
Femcel is almost never used, whereas you get called an incel for almost anything these days. You are not an individual, as a man, you are a success machine, if you don't get success, you are a loser and people will not have qualms about ridiculing you and shaming you. If you talk about the ridicule and shaming, you will be ridiculed and shamed even more, man up. If you had horrible experience with women, it's your fault, you must be a vile person, you must be to blame, because bad attracts bad. If a woman is beaten up, then she's a victim, not because she's bad or because she picked bad.
The comparative analysis and editing in this video are wonderful, what a delight to watch. An interesting notion that men tend to express aggression outwardly while women often direct it at themselves. That came up in my therapy session quite a bit. I'm kinda glad femcel stuff wasn't around when I was a teen, what a harsch mindset to recover from.
its not an interesting notion but rather a cliche, everybody that has been in a first year college class and has received an introductionary class in psychology knows this, nothing genious about it altough that model has been nuanced with the years not to forget we have wokism and the lgbtq lobby watching now so its dangerous to make these king of stereotypes nowadays
I completely disagree with the part that femcels are less inclined towards external aggression. I mean, The Piano Teacher quite literally contradicts this point, since Erika's hobby is to literally assault people, she tries to SA her own mother and eventually destroys her student's hand. Maybe less DIRECT aggression, but she quite clearly externalizes her destructive tendencies. That and the idea that femcels just want a "good relationship" while incels just want sex, which is inaccurate on both sides. Overall, I really liked the video but felt the gender comparisons were rather forced and not very well thought-out.
This is wrong. Male and female experience the emotion of anger all the same. This is a deception. You are just simply depressed my friend. Women direct their aggression with subtly rather than with brute force like men. You are not perfect, as Lucifer would have you believe you are. It is this worship of the divine feminine that will bring ruination to America. Revelation chapter 18 is for you, America. The world grows weary of your disgusting culture.
I believe what you meant to say was “Black Swan is basically Perfect Blue”. It was not the first time that Darren Aranofsky had drawn from the well of Satoshi Kon movies rather than have a single creative thought in his goddamn head.
This analysis just made me more grateful for my mother who always made me feel beautiful despite my self-confidence issues. Now as a mother, I want to provide that same assurance to my own daughter so she sees herself as beautiful as she is inside and out
@@vancouvercomedyuncensoredv8240 I'm not saying these are better, but ones I prefer to watch: Dog day afternoon Amadeus Godfather 2 Lawrence of Arabia King of comedy Pulp fiction Old boy Blazing saddles Chinatown Boogie nights
@@Chosen9038No, especially when you consider that it’s been flipping for a while now. More women are inclined to blame their problems on systems and even get conspiratorial with it.
@@bannedmann4469 ahahah were blaming our problems on the system for a reason. There's nothing conspiratorial about blaming structural problems on the patriarchy
@@lalastel There is, and it isn’t just structural problems. A lot of the times, it’s biology. The main issue with getting conspiratorial all the time; is that a lot of structural issues aren’t the result of a group. Most are unintentional. When you blame groups in these instances, all you do is generate opposition where there didn’t need to be.
Isabelle's whole filmography should be considered a matter of study... Her choices always cemented not only her range and capablility as a actor but as a media figure... It's impossible to paralled her with most of her remarcable characters because they're all complicated and she can easily escaped the entire charade of "this role changed me" "I couldn't escape from this character during months" " this was the most difficult thing I've ever done, hand me an Oscar"... For her it's only the job and the job only; in order for her to love her work (and she does) she appreciates stories way more than the characters, then she strips herself to embodied the core tool of these stories with full bravery and vulnerability... Just sublime. LOVE her
@@citycrusher9308 Many states in America have the age of consent as 18, which likely would have resulted in an X rating for the movie which would make it almost impossible to watch/find in America.
I don't think it's quite accurate to say femcels are "only looking for love/a man who won't use and abuse them." A large portion of femcels have extremely childish or even toxic views on romantic relationships. I think it's captured beautifully in the line from the novel about Erica's fantasy of marriage. She's only thinking about what she's going to get out of the relationship, be that release from her mother's grip, or "a decent salary." It also specifically says she's "deciding for him," which is what a lot of femcels actually want- not a relationship, a dictatorship. They want a loyal male servant, not an equal partner.
It's interesting that "Incel" has been associated w men so much that the term "femcel" exists to refer to the women who are incels, when "Incel" was firstly used by a woman.
And, men can want to show women that they are in fact sexually desirable, when it's clear that they do not see it themselves. For him though I think he wanted to "win", and she was a challenge.
I felt like he was fascinated by her talent and how distant she was, like an ice queen.. He expected her to be very different in close encounter so totally makes sense why he freaked out when he found out what she's actually like. I can totally see this happen irl
@@abrahamames911 Yes this is more clear in the book, he intends to move on once he‘s become her "teacher" as he puts it. In his case it‘s more about conquering and shaping her into a conventional woman, rather than genuine desirability.
Fantastic video and analysis. As someone who has always found complex characters on the fringes more captivating, I really can't help but dislike our current social media's tendency to label characters who exist on the fringes (the outcasts, rejects, deviants, or mentally unstable) as being forced through the incel/femcel lens. It seems that any transgressive character who repels the opposite sex is somehow automatically labelled this be they male or female. It renders so many complexities of a how a person can become deviant and on the outside looking in to what is essentially a narrow definition of someone who wants romantic intimacy but can't get it. Incels and femcels can identify with them, but despite carrying a lot of the same characteristics of those people, it doesn't necessarily make them one. Labelling them that seems only to further allow these two types of people in their communities ownership over loneliness and undesirability, which is not strictly exclusive to incels/femcels. If that were the case, anyone who struggles with mental health, loneliness, and alienation in a way that makes them a pariah and can't get dates, would be labeled incel/femcel, and that is really ruinous of understanding them in their stories outside those perceived definitions.
I feel like incel specifically refers to men who have a sense of entitlement to have a gf. They feel that society owes them a relationship and they feel bitterness towards women for not meeting their needs. Being an outcast, reject, or some other sort of lonely man does not make someone an incel. They have to blame women for the fact that they’re an outcast, reject, or some other sort of lonely man to become an incel.
@@my2iu By the same token, "femcel" refers to a woman that have a sense of entitlement to have a BOYFRIEND. They feel that society/men owe them a relationship and they feel bitterness towards men for not meeting their needs.
One thing I feel like is a major difference between femcels and incels is incels actively want a partner or to at least have sex with women, whereas femcels, regardless of deeper internal desires, usually suppress all those thoughts and don't actively seek out anybody, and usually avoid attention. Incels believe they deserve intimacy, where as femcels believe they don't deserve intimacy. So I don't really think it's "by the same token", they're actually quite different because how your feelings of loneliness manifest themselves takes different forms depending on your gender.@@johnjungkook2721
Having technically been an incel as a teenager (I say "incel adjacent"), I feel you've struck a chord with me. Sure, I was involuntarily celibate largely due to undiagnosed ADHD resulting in terrible mental & physical health, as well as a fear of intimacy sparked by childhood SA, but the women in my life object to me referring to myself as a former "incel", despite similar end results. As opposed to what the women in my life think of as "incels", I lacked virulent misogyny and a sense of entitlement to women. I feel like rounding stories like mine into the broader envelope of "incel" serves to erase the humanity of and empathy for alienated people on the fringes. If all somebody knows about teenage me is that I was "an incel", and probably an insufferable, entitled misogynist, that person probably isn't thinking about what had to happen to take an innocent child to such a dark place.
Hearing the topics in The Piano Teacher such as self harm was more unnerving than I was expecting. Taxi driver draws you into Travis's delirium, with the soft saxophone theme, gentle transitions, and Travis's inner voice. Though his world is dark and dirty, there's a comforting weight even when he's shooting someone or something. Travis is alienated and probably deeply affected by his experiences in war, and yet I feel as though he might take help, if offered. If Travis is a tornado, Erica feels like a typhoon. Both characters hurt people, though how and why they do is different. Erica destroys her student's life out of insecurity, surgically removing her ability as a pianist and as a threat to her. Travis imagines he's on some holy mission to save the girl and clean up the city, destroying himself in what he sees as a noble sacrifice. Travis has nothing so he takes on a fantasy as a last resort. Erica I see as rejecting any kind of love or good will because, like the clothes in her closet, it is dead to her. Great video.
This is so eerie. I saw taxi driver with my first roommate who was an incel - after the first year of college he killed himself. Then when I saw the piano teacher, I was talking to a femcel and was trying to get into a relationship with her at that time. When I picked up on her vibe, I would give her a lot of advice about life but she was too mental to understand anything. She killed herself 2 months after I met her. She always said that she wanted to be treated horribly by men and I would always challenge her on why she felt that way. They both would be attracted to narcissistic people which is weird but also would just reinforce their world view - my roommate was trying to go with this girl that would constantly project on the friend group. These people are entrapped by their own ghosts and it's really sad but there really isn't anything that you can do.
They are correct. It's a brutal and unfair world. Some were dealt shitttier cards genetically. It's just that when you are so conscious the normie copes don't work anymore. You can't fool yourself. Combined with mental illness is the recipe for roping
Now imagine a movie where they both somehow meet and can’t stand each other but are now stuck with each other because they’re the only two who understand each other.
It can be argued that Erika's motivation behind her treatment towards Anna in that pivotal scene involving broken glass wasn't out of jealousy but out of pity and kindness considering how she in fact sees much of herself in Anna & her treatment by her own mother, Erika is trapped in this 'Lay Down & Rot' loop whereas Anna, whilst obviously horribly mutilated can escape this cycle put on by her mother and pursue other things
Given how spontaneously she took the decision to put broken glass in her coat, I think the jealousy argument is far more believable. The pity argument is just romanticizing her actions to make Erika look less evil and petty than she actually was in that scene.
I don't agree at all. It is pretty clearly communicated that it was out of malice. She is very clearly malicious towards all her other students, and we don't see any signs that she is for some reason warmer or kinder towards Anna.
just like lonely men want to run threw women like a lawn mower threw grass?! so the difference is we want someone, you know attraction being a thing! what you want is to use and abuse like "chad" has the ability to do... lol, who is the evil one here?! a fool opens his mouth and reveals to the world he is! an entitled sociopath....
You're content is so well spoken, the formatting is easy and engaging. I love the balance you were able to place with compare and contrasting the two, one in the same, films.
i love the piano teacher, it’s one of my all time favorite movies. i feel like dumbing it down to “femcel” is reductive. associating the film with such a brain dead pretentious trend is stupid, and kind of tarnishes the beauty of the film.
For me it was very clear that the ones labeling a "femcel classic" is femcel community itself. The whole video is about how someone who calls themselves a femcel can easily relate to Erika, 30 minutes exposing how that community projects their ideas on the movie.
@@Lu-li1ei this is how i interpreted it too, if anything the video itself agrees that the themes presented in each work are much more nuanced than the online communities that have attached themselves to them suggest
5:10 The way you edited Travis and Julia both into a diner, made it genuinely look like they were there together in the same movie, and my instant instinct was to ship it 😭 God help me
My mind did wander what if the two connect. One has this hero complex, and the other desperately hoping for a rescue. At best the two will be a 'holier than thou' duo jeering at any chads and stacys, at worst.. both offed themselves.
I think they would never choose eachother. He believes he's superior to most, why would he settle for a woman with no sex appeal or charm like Erika. She is desperate for control and also believes herself superior, why would she pursue a poor and violent taxi driver like Travis. But, if somehow they connected, then it's possible they would be obsessed with eachother.
wow the themes this movie explores are so varied. the emotional incest manifests as physical illustrates its existence. the close relationship between child and mother harkens to Psycho as well
I just want to say that no one is "Unremarkable" Its a disgusting term to dehumanize people, to make them appear as lesser. You are not Unremarkable, nor will I say you are special, you just are. Edit: Also want to say, this video really change my perspective on women, I am even more sympathetic to their struggles now after watching this. I am Autistic, and men with autism really struggle to understand the opposite sex in almost every way. Videos like this really help me understand things, so thank you.
but some people really are unremarkable? nobody is perfect, but also there is nothing wrong with aknowledging that some people are just a waste of space.
@@h3avenscent but that’s not fact, it’s subjective biased opinion. To act as though you are an all knowing god who determines what is and isn’t useful is pure narcissistic, which is the very notion of society. Look I’m not trying to be some crazy intellect or some smug A hole, I get what you mean within a subjective point of view of course. I have said people are useless before, but I also know that’s my bias, what I deem useless another may not, or one could argue that their uselessness is at least useful in teaching us in society what not to do. I wish people were not so obtuse about this and could just have a discussion and open mind. Instead of just assuming it’s some political rhetoric of leftism softness or some BS like that. Who am I to say really? There are many instances of humans believing something was a waste of time, such as those who believed in science and studying the material world, those people were seen as useless under religion “what an idiot they are, don’t they know are crops die because god is angry with us” so things shift all the time in random directions in terms of what is and isn’t useful, because none of this really matters, it’s sort of just a song constantly playing and changing its rhythm, but that’s too hard for our ego to accept that we aren’t in control, so easier to just say we are god and our rules and systems all matter. But yes, in the subjective viewpoint in our society, I agree some people are not special. Should we or shouldn’t we make them so? Well I don’t know, I don’t hold the answers, just feels wrong given our track record of passing things up based off our pre conceived ideals and concepts.
Hey out of curiosity, have you ever thought of covering Rebbeca from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend? She's a great character and one of the best examples of a problematic protagonist or anti-hero character imo.
Stalking is funny and quirky when women do it. And if you call it out with derogatory terms you’re a sexist. [Insert sex junk Bill Nye song here]. Done, quick and easy.
I mean the show is pretty critical of Rebbeca's actions in general and she herself calls herself crazy for following Josh across the country. It just doesn't take the stalking as seriously as her other actions, which isn't an excuse but just the layout of the show@@bannedmann4469
Taxi Driver kinda just shows what its like being a man with nothing going for him. He’s like that because he doesn’t have peers who he can relate to. If he did he would be comfortable with his situation. Its also a movie which is overwhelmingly a product of its time and it surprises me that people don’t call it out more.
As a person who hasn't been the most successful in 'these departments' of life, this video helped me a bit to not simply logically understand the difficulty women face in relationships, but to empathize with them. I fear I'll return to the street and see 'normality' and forget the lessons here though. Its easy to empathize with the downtrodden, abused, ignored. But when no one in reality is willing to show that vulnerability, everyone immediately becomes a perfect, happy, hateable stereotype once again.
Damn. As a former incel myself (got therapy earlier this year), while I identified with a lot of the incel struggle (no intercourse, no social life, escape into media, self disgust morphing into disgust for the perceived other), yet there were a lot of things I strongly yearned for that I could not find in other incels. More than anything, I wanted a monogamous relationship, but I thought I shouldn't want that because I am a man, "chads don't need stability". I wanted to be myself, a bisexual man who likes acting stereotypically gay at times (gesticulating, catty quips, liking looking young and effeminate), but I felt that that would be weakness and "women would rather kill themselves than even touch a men who does that". I measured my entire self-worth on being able to find a woman who would, not love, but tolerate my existence long enough to suffer through a relationship with me. I had this weird sense of both guttural misogyny as well as this deep, carnal desire to change myself completely to please this imaginary "female gaze" I had theorized, because everything I was naturally, was something that women would naturally see as without a right to exist (yep, I really did need therapy). I was abused by my mother in every single way (yes, EVERY single way) while growing up under her, and was so used to expecting the only woman in my life obviously to despise me and treat me like garbage that I quickly latched onto incel propaganda. After all, whenever I saw Fresh and Fit or whoever interview these women who were carefully selected to confirm incel bias, I basically saw carbon copies of my mother, and just confirmed my bias. Motherless behavior, I guess, on my end XD The point I mean to make after exposition dumping from my life is that I feel like I see more of my old self in Erika Kohut than in Travis Bickle. She isn't delusional when it comes to grandeur, she silently festers within her own little world, watching herself rotting away, hoping, praying that something may happen to save her or get her out of here, but it never happens, all while growing more and more unhappy and more angry, yet directing that rage towards herself rather than the outside world. Thank you so much for reviewing this topic, and I may actually make this book my yearly book lol. I do not read very much, hell my last book was "In Stahlgewittern" by Ernst Jünger, and I read it in May 2022. I will also say that you are the only feminine RU-vidr I have seen so far who talks about Incels without mocking or damning them. While Incels are cringe, and as an ex-incel I know that firsthand, it's still nice to be treated with neutrality rather than disgust or contempt. Much respect, and greetings, from a German ex-incel
That's some rough stuff. It's no wonder why you needed therapy if what you said about your upbringing was true. Just remember that you have the power to not be like this character we just watched a video on. Her flaws are obvious and fixable, and so can you fix most of the problems you might have. All it takes is a healthy perspective on life and some courage and discipline to act.
Nobody carefully selected stupid thots on stupid thot podcasts. Stupid thots are everywhere and they don't shy away from their stoopidness. Also, therapy doesn't cure incel. Unless she was a prostitute.
she is femcel relatable. some of the actual femcels have actual mental illness. if a young stud pursued them irl they would have pathological reactions also. Mr Robot is such a corny case on the other side. incel imposter that fucks his female drug dealer in the first episode (and then gets cucked.) both these cults are full of contradictions, lack of self awareness and endless solipsism. you dont apply rational "gotchas" to people that live outside of reality in many ways.
Just half a second of thought will show you that when incels say sex, they use sex to mean a connection. That's why some of them still consider themselves incels even if they have sexual experience w SW. A lot of men often see physical affection as the highest form, incels included.
It speaks negatively to the state of cultural consciousness that things like mental illness and isolation can only be contextualized through their relationship to sex and lack of sex.
Calling Taxi Driver an “incel classic” is so reductive and oversimplistic. Travis can be described as an incel, I suppose, but he’s mentally unwell and has no healthy human relationship. He’s alienated from the whole city, not just potential romantic partners. He can’t relate to anyone or understand basic social customs. We get hints of severe trauma in his past but don’t know whether it started during combat or something before that.
@@FredrikFazBjorn more that I wouldn’t say “incel” is his defining characteristic. If he did find a willing sexual partner he would still have many unhealthy and destructive qualities.
@@75aces97 I kind of view incel as more of a lifestyle and values rather than the ability to get laid. I think I have some “incel traits” whilst still having conventionally attractive facial features and gotten laid before.
Suffering alone is an ince/ trait and gives women the "ick". The fact that most men suffer and live alone is unimaginable and comedy to women. Memes aside. Women do not like men who struggle aka ince/s.
I honestly think the reason why Erika decided to put shard glass on Anna's jacket was to end the abuse from the overbearing mother as it's something that was she was also experiencing and it was close to home.
Incredible, I know a woman who is like that but still not completely unhinged. 24 years old, kissless virgin. Massive Issues due to having a mother like in this movie. The best part: She is actually good looking, funny and interesting, just can't form any form of connection to other people even if she really wants to.
I really wish you didn’t make a comparison with Taxi Driver. The Piano teacher is a very complicated film with very complex characters, and I don’t think she fits the femcell criteria that well. Regardless I enjoyed the video and your perspective about the topic. Love
I agree with this comment (haven't watched the video yet). It is my absolute favourite film, and that final scene after all that build up nearly made me cry. I would not agree that she is a femcel, that's reductive. I could create an essay on my own thoughts about her drives, their cause, her circumstances, and the consequences of her behaviours. It is my all-time favourite film. Not just because of its complexities and how it made me think, but how it made me feel more than any other film.
There three types of comments here 1. A discussion about the film and it’s director. What they were trying to say and how they achieved that in this, and their other films. 2. Women talking about the fences community and how harmful it is, especially if they were a part of it but got it. 3. Incels.
I might be a bit late, but I loved this movie on a personal level, it broke my heart, mostly because it made me live a past trauma again, in an incredibly vivid way, especially in the last frames
The insights in between are great. But yeah like most of the comments here, reducing this complex movie to an undimensional modern term like femcel is missing a lot. Anyway, I know Erika messes up sometimes, but it's terrifying how she opens up a bit and gets hurt in the worse way possible.
i get why u are saying this but the movie works in the video as illustration for the concept, not the other way around. they’re exploring the concept, not the movie
Ironically as an incel-ish male I've always felt more connected to the piano teacher than to taxi driver. But then again I've also always blamed myself inward more than blaming the outside world for being "Incel" (Notable, I never promised you a rose garden and Sybil)
you are truly my favourite video essayist! as a young woman who has just graduated high school you inspire me to interpret the media i consume with a more nuanced and intertextual lens and for that i am forever grateful! tysm for all the hard work you put into these videos, they really make my day every time you post!
I'm only on 4:00 as new viewer. But I can already say I really love your analysis. Your channel seems very interesting as a concept. I've met many women very much like the one in the movie. In all cases they are very stunted in their relations and experience an impossibility of engaging in a long term relationship. The symbiotic relationship with their mother just blocks out any possibilities of love outside of the mother-daughter relationship. Very tragic, but a choice also. They are choosing to prioritize their mother over all.
... How weird I can relate more to the Incel fantasy in this case, as a woman. I get the fantasy of wanting to be a hero. To let loose and not be judged negatively for it. To actually be seen positively, for once...
Also, I am both befuddled and annoyed that the current generation of kids actually think of “Taxi Driver” as an incel film. It’s not. It is actually more about a mentally ill man with a serious Madonna-Whore Complex, like far too many men have, and ALL incels think of women in this way, but that does not make Taxi Driver an “incel film.”
They don't. Incels attach the incel label on anything that resonates with them as with any subculture. The scenarios in both these films have been played out many times before more or less. Also you're fine as hell for 45.
I think you’re too hung up on the semantics of ‘incel movie’ and ‘femcel movie’, most people use these very broadly as “movie in/femcels tend to like” and not “movies with in/femcels in them”. Like, Drive (2011) or Whiplash are incel movies while Black Swan or Gone Girl are femcel movies. Class of 09 is a femcel game even though the main protagonist is typically attractive and has a lot of sex.
"Madonna-Whore Complex" Ah yes, because Sigmund Freud is such a visionary of psychology hmmm? I don't know if you got the memo, but Freud is a hack and a shyster and at no point should anyone be using his terms for anything but the most cursory and general of concepts. Claiming that "ALL" incels think this way is absurd and reductive and makes you look like a closeted misandrist.
when I first saw this film I was too young to realize what it was trying to convey, even then I knew I was watching a vision of a director who had something important to say about paraphilia and the nature of paranormal relationships. when I watched this film again after seeing this essay, it was made clear to me why this film has been heralded as a masterpiece of cinema and having portrayed one of the finest performances ever recorded on film.
Anna and Erika's relationship in the movie is underrated, because Anna basically becomes a representation of a younger version of Erika. One the one hand, Erika is jealous of her and acts out in both verbally and ultimately physically abusive ways towards Anna. But on the other, she is willing to correct Anna's mother, by expliciting stating that it was Anna's sacrifice, and not hers. That's her arguing with her mother, even if she isn't brave enough to confront her directly. Part of me thinks that Erika thought that she was doing with the glass was necessary - she doubted Anna's ability, knew that she was not going to stop training, and didn't want her to end up like her, so wanted to end her career prematurely. I also think seeing Anna at the concert, an indication that Anna wasn't going to stop, was an additional contributing factor to her choosing to stab herself.
32:18 "...at the end of the day, we all strive to be accepted and loved." And that right there is what every incel/femcel struggles to realize! At the same time you must learn to love yourself before you're able to love others. You can't be in a loving relationship if your view of both yourself and society as a whole is largely negative... Hope is what most of us ultimately strive towards, and that- along with love and understanding- should be a part of your center of being (least imo X3)
I'd disagree that the incel end-goal is sex, and the femcel end goal is commitment, both of their end goals are genuine companionship, commitment and loyalty. The whole sex thing has been blown out of proportion by the vocal minority of incels, as well as the media covering it. And another reason why the incel agenda seems so sex focused is that femcels, and women in general have constant access to sex, where as even average guys struggle to get any form of sexual encounters, making it unobtainable for the incels. The same way that femcels will talk about getting a boyfriend that won't cheat and will be loyal and committed to them only, is because it's the hardest thing for them to obtain. At the heart of it all though is just lonely people, who were either abused, traumatised, bullied, rejected, outcast or simply weren't given the correct mental and emotional tools to deal with the situation they've found themselves in, and they need to helped, and supported rather than ridiculed or mocked, adding more toxicity to the fire won't make it any less toxic. I appreciate how your video was very down the middle with no jabs or hostility aimed at either the femcel or incel communities.
I'm reading up on it. Seem like real fun. I wish there were more films and shows in North America regarding antisocial women. I feel that we have a prudishness that has actively refused to depict women other than an accessory, innocent, aloof or madonna/whore. We don't give much screen time to mean, resentful and evil. It's on my list! tnks
The sad part about this is,it is true. My father saw his really talented cousin being wasted by her mother (my father was a single child so he loved her like his little sister and always motivated her. Alas, you can't proceed if you own mother is against her). My father still regrets for not being able to do more
19:16 it's a saviour complex and a sense of ownership on the acquisition. Like you saved a dog from injury and when it's healed he's emotionally attached to you. I know this because I somewhat feel the same.
