The 'Please Love Me' Dynamic - Teal Swan - 

Kit Wilson, you are absolutely right,love your self❤️

Can't live life with too much fear otherwise how else are you gonna get out there and meet someone. Fear sucks but try and master it.

Heal your attachment trauma/abandonment fear.

Yes.

You deserve to be loved and you will! ❤

I love her humor.

If you don’t laugh at the absurdities of life, you’d cry

Eckart tolle is amazing for that too. He makes you realize how silly most of our "problems " are

@@kourtenayt1927 funny because a lot of them are also put upon us by society like constantly having to chase money, like paying fines and interest if you can't pay something on time and being more in debt etc....

I love your summary.

Stop

That hurt

Effort: 1% Damage: 1000%%%%

Christine Ferguson I was born May 4th 1954 at 5am a Taurus according to my birth certificate I just looked up my Moon sign is Gemini My wife was born Dec 12th 1963

Christine Ferguson no how do I find out about my Mercury sign

Dale Hamon - I had that same relationship. Then one day I wasn't feeling warm and fuzzy and as a result I was kicked to the curb like trash and denied all access to even communicate with him. I guess saying those words every day didn't mean a thing to him. Oh and my birthday is the same as yours. Weird.....

Dale Hamon m

Tina Reilly ??? M ???

How're you doing now? Hope all is well

It’s impossible to be ‘ourselves’ with others and not have toxic etc - being single is the only time we can feel less triggered etc

Hi there. What you said is amazing. I suppose your daughters are very lucky to have you as their dad.

What a positive influence you will be on your daughters, Wish you well.

Amazing work being vulnerable and opening up, brother. Hang in there. It's a journey.

Seriously!! I've been to counselors for years that couldnt or wouldnt say this!

What did you do with your relationship? Did it change?

Does anyone have a link to the eternal victimhood video? Please and thank you. I'd like to watch that

@@Iamavoyager soon after this comment I decided that 20 years of abuse was enough. I stood in the middle of the living room and said “I am moving out.” The entire divorce process was long, stressful, and amounted to financial ruin. Just recently, after 2 years it was finally over. The good news it that I learned how to live again and I could not be happier. I literally feel like I have been let out of a cage. There is a lot of psychological damage and I may never stop having nightmares. The lessons learned about my own issues and and faults, and what to avoid in a partner will help make the second half of life a lot more enjoyable.

its more like everyone knows in the back of their mind if they actually want to be with the person, a lot of people just stay because they depend on the other for something which is not the same as wanting to be in it, if you truly want it then do the work if you don't want it don't waste the other person's time.

Lmfao so true smh

Adrian Rojas pretty much

But who fucked them..?! Xx

Adrian Rojas same here

Blunt and to the point. If u was a girl I'be hittin on you man.

Aris Giannakos Yes brother!

I never knew that sexual energy and intimacy are linked. I was shocked upon discovering that in the video. And that is why I was checking comments to know what other people had to say about it.

@@KathleenHawk In a relashionship where the woman doesn't feel heard by the husband, the woman isn't likely to express her sexuality. She doesn't need to boost her sexual energy and he doesn't need to lower it, it's gonna be there anyway. They need to feel the attraction to each others just like before.

Wow.

@@WatchDoggyDog Try to look into someones soul. Converations will become very deep and intimate.

+222Julchen222 Yeah me too. Dad just paid the bills and that was it. Mom was left alone and became insufferable. I honestly felt like I was both these cases, trying to capture one's attention, but feeling apathetic to their constant criticism.

+1

Same

Same

Same. My biological father left with a quickness to get married and go back to Mexico lol I've never had a connection with him so it doesn't matter to me much. He values his younger daughter more than he does me because I'm darker than her. Such is life. The father who raised me and who loves me infinitely has dementia and is milesss away now. My mum was always over protective, determined to raise me to be a pure, innocent flower. I'm not even joking lol. I love my parents though, especially my mum. im glad she didn't steer me in the wrong direction but I think she was too worried about me having sex. It actually hindered me in many ways

Leo Gratz she said it can go either way .. You aren't a girl.. Don't worry

Same

And I am a boy then

Harville Hendrix, PhD gives a slightly different take on this. His description totally fits my life. It fits your life also. ... the fact is, we’re unconsciously drawn to that special someone with the best and worst character traits of all of our caregivers combined. We call this our “Imago”-the template of positive and negative qualities of your primary caregivers. His books are worth reading.

I realised am the boy. The protector and the one who is always the reason why someone isnt happy. I have realised why I have a people pleaser .

Same

actually it is your responisbility , you manifested it. Now REVERSE the dynamic VIBRATIONALLY , with your focus.

@@user-ey9fm5my3s that's horrible wtf

@@Sarah-xx4fv By the way victimhiod leading to traumatization leading to anger , leading to empowement , leading to growth , leading to happyness is how LEARNING happens. Overcoming your trauma is not a smooth , comfy and lovely process. You got to be HELLA brave and ready to take FULL RESPONSIBILITY for whatever happens to you in order to oputgrow victimhood situations. Cowards who deny that they created their abusive relationships NEVER grow.

@@user-ey9fm5my3s man you are just person who looks and spend his most of the time watching videos of spiritual guru's 😂😂😂 even when you don't even have an experience about there way of living..😂😂😂

i feel you : >

Tea in the Moment one good mother you are

You are awesome mother !!!! :)) I thought there is no parents watching this but uve just inspired me instantly :)

Tea in the Moment amazing mother!

You are an awesome mom. I have 4 siblings, all of us are young adults and i think i may just play all her videos on loop in the living room TV 😂

Actually Michael Brown coined this...check his book Presence process

Actually Michael Brown coined this...check his book Presence process

MrEvilWasp great advice here

MrEvilWasp so fkn right Wasp !

Good advice. Yet it's human nature to want connection and when you haven't ever felt loved, you crave it even more. Then what frequently follows is a string of bad relationships. So sad.

Agree with you mostly. However this is a double edged sword. If my partner is not getting the love she needs from me, does that mean that I am not made for her as I do not love her enough in the way she wants, or does that mean that she got into a relationship as a way get an external soothing for an inner pain ?

The problem with that ideal is that it effectively condemns many of us to an eternal loneliness that is mere existence and death - I’ve not even known real happiness but for a few fleeting moments in more than 36 years. Because of others’ abuse throughout my life I have gone more than half of my life, nearly my entire adult life at 48, with absolutely no meaningful emotional and zero physical intimacy with anyone whatsoever to escape the abuse and it is a far more lonely life than one can possibly imagine if not already living that life (I’m not talking the “incel” crowd, some fraction of whom are a-holes and others confused or lost, but literal abuse survivors trying to avoid the abuse of others). That not only means no romantic relationships but also no new friendships since the capacity for trust was largely destroyed long ago by a particularly violent partner (on top of the years of abuse in childhood). Living that many years alone, in your own thoughts, and disabled (the abuse destroyed my health by age 18) is not much fun after awhile and goes well beyond solitude and may as well be a living hell as it is a prison for the soul. We exist to love all but never to know love for ourselves (at least not without more abuse) and to try and bring some happiness into other’s lives so that we may at least know some vicarious happiness in our own and make this world a little better for others than the awful one we were born into. This logic that one must be a near perfect human being devoid of any needs, desires, or shortcomings before they can be loved effectively declares our lives forfeit as a consequence of other’s evil. Because of the abuse in our childhood, we were never afforded the opportunity to discover anything worthy or deserving of love within ourselves because the only valuations that were ever reflected back to us during our formative years were of pure hate and so our brains are literally hardwired to hate and loathe ourselves (though often highly empathic towards others) unless there is a trusted other to come along and help us to discover something of value and worth within us that would be deserving of love, though for many of us that will never happen as that inner voice is the distilled narcissism of our 100+ abusers throughout our lives and without a trusted outsider to challenge that voice all we can see/hear within ourselves is a self with a handful of objective positive qualities and a million negatives and flaws (including the damage to our mental health and the multitude of chronic and disabling illnesses the abuse directly caused that only further devalue us in the eyes of those that might otherwise consider loving us) that logically outweigh any and all positives by orders of magnitude. A lot of “healthy” self-loving persons stood by and watched our abuse, some even cheering it on, many others took turns participating in that abuse over the many years, but, by this logic, they are for some reason worthy and allowed to be loved since they love themselves while those of us who were abused and forever damaged by them are relegated to live in purgatory to pay for their cruelty because we are not entitled to be loved by another since we were denied the opportunity to form a self-loving identity in childhood since they took great delight in programming us with hate for ourselves during our most formative years where the brain’s wiring for self-identity was laid down in early adolescence. Essentially, the message is that we haven’t yet paid a high enough price for their fun so we are unworthy of anyone who might ultimately help to heal our pain through love. I don’t see that as terribly fair at all. What if it were your son or daughter, brother or sister, cousin or friend stuck in this hell created by others’ evil? Would the argument be that they are still unworthy of another’s love if that special person were to come into their life by chance or good fortune and help to heal them? At what point are we considered to have paid a high enough price for our abuse to be potentially worthy of love in another’s eyes? In essence, we can’t win for losing as we are told that even if that healing person should come into our lives we should reject them out of hand because we don’t already love ourselves - that’s a lot like the emergency room staff refusing a desperately ill patient access to the ER until that patient has cured their own disease by themselves and only then will the ER physician see the now cured patient who no longer needs access to the ER! The adage might sound like wisdom, but it falls dead flat on logic! But it is particularly cruel towards those who were abused in childhood!

Just be thankful you have with the help of Teal

Even me, am that little girl she talked about,

L-Jay its too much to expect. Men do not know how if not educated or communicated too about your needs.

L-Jay me too :( I burst into tears

Yeah, I had to fight to get some attention as well. And now it's just so weird when I'm in his proximity. Like there's just nothing there. Same with my brother

i am with you here. Love and Hugs

same here... i wish i have a relationship with my father where i feel protected and secured all the time.

izaak mccullough Maybe because the attracted ones of the hard playing are insecure

It depends how they play hard to get. If they do it in a way that slightly increases sexual tension followed by something of substance and connection it sort of works, but 95% of the time it is just wasting time/validating them (women).

That's not always the case. People with anxious attachment (the woman in Teal's example) may become more desperate, if you pull away, but trust me, we are way more attracted to people who are willing to give us full attention.

I like unattainable men, but I don't like hard to get Dunno if it's just because I am young

Count yourself lucky then 😊

+Brubarov been there done that .. :/

Feel you bro

+Brubarov its all a part of the life-long learning process :) no shame, sometimes things won't work out and its for the best

I think ive had this from having NPD father

Val Kilmer? Statistician? If so, 😎

Аrе уou mаking thеsе mistаkеs with уоur mаn? twitter.com/792a5f97c2a018822/status/804693412402241537 Thе Рlеаsе Lоvе ММММе Dуnаmiс Теаl Swаn

She would have even more the beauty and wit if you commented about her as a messenger to knowledge, than that of a sex object.

You mean "only if there were more beautiful women that were wise" I say there are a lot of wise women such as her out there. They may not all be lookers either but it doesnt take away from the knowledge they have. You just dont have them in your circle is all.

look in a mirror

And you are a perfect example of a pig

SuZen Genuinely curious. How did having a passive / disconnected father affect you?

Suzen, you are beautiful 🌹🌹🌺🌺🌹🌹🌹🌺🌺🌹

@@googlereviewer1944 i had one like that too. I ended up not understanding how to be loved or protected or valued

Could you solve this?

Adora Salcone m let the tense go , start lifing for the moment , laugh ,kiss and enjoy

Omg....same!!!😭

How are you now

You have a great dad then.

Diona Lilly me too.. much empathy.

Kimberly Diona Farmer, you should love ❤️ yourself

Tea looks amazing ALL OF THE TIME.

TV tells lies to your vision.

Jeah the whole media is on a very different level than me ^^

im a woman and they scare me too...lol

Jacob Hafer You're diving deep into your infinite waters once again, good job

sloppypoppie i see what you did there :D

Quaberr I would guess there is a lot of hurt in those ppl, the feeling that they cannot belong or trust ppl -at least in my case

@@melinarodriguez8395 Not everything is based on hurt. Sexual orientation often has little to do with trauma. Many autistic people are very cerebral and asexual. The fantasy in their minds outweighs the desire for sexual discourse. Also, some people just don't like penetration, but engage in other sexual acts like touching and kissing. By assuming that people who don't fit the sociocultural mold are deeply hurt, is also assuming that there is only one way to be. This is not reality.

👏👏👏 And siblings!!

Yep...

and now, how's that marriage doing?

You just wrapped humans up in a nut shell. Your point is?

Spiritual Insanity Ugh... the most obvious is what we need to hear the most! PREACH!!!

Jacob Hafer Well if I wrapped humans up in a nut shell then I would like to hope that I made my point. Was there anything in particular you would like me to elaborate on?

Spiritual Insanity something created by the spiritual, "made" out of spirit, and experienced by spirit isn't sub spiritual.

You say that and I agree absolutely - BUT here's the thing. We're here as humans. No matter where we originally came from or what we really are, the lives we live are as human beings, experiencing life in its flawed and wonderful concept. I see nothing wrong with wanting that kind of relationship as it is part of being human, which we all are essentially. Of course, if you strive for enlightenment and a higher form of understanding and unconditional love that's absolutely wonderful and I encourage you to do so. We are all given a choice and we can do whichever we choose to do. I, for myself, decided that I want to live as human a life as I can. I want to experience all the ups and downs, all kinds of relationships and I want to experience that kind of love at least once as well, to grow and learn from it. There is really nothing wrong with wanting that specific kind of intimacy/ love from another human being so long as both are equally as invested and don't forget to appreciate themselves as much as they appreciate their partner. And if you forget to cherish yourself somewhere along the way and the relationship fails as a result, that's okay too. We'll learn and grow and find our self worth again to start once more. Thank you for reading this, have a good day.

I have the same issue in reverse. The millisecond I start to break down my walls and show I care and want more, they are like Sonic racing out of my life...