I do agree with polygyny but I am completely against secret marriages or even keeping it a secret from his wife. If he is not man enough to tell his wife and face the consequences then I don't think he is man enough to take such a responsibility because usually what happens is that they take advantage of the other wife and she is forced to compromise alot and in the end she is divorced when the first wife finds out.
Why would there be "consequences" for doing something perfectly halal? Anyone who hands out "consequences" like this is an abuser and it's best to protect another wife from that kind of abuse.
As a Muslim female, I am okay with polygyny, I just want my husband to have fear of Allah, that’s it, Wallah, my first husband didn’t even pray, I used to cry so much, he indulged in other harams, wallah I feared for his akhira more than he will ever know
Subhan'Allah! I am smiling at the way this brother is anticipating all the women (and perhaps some men) SHOUTING at their laptops as they listen to this video... yes, we need to listen to the end of the video (or the whole series) before over-reacting in either direction of the discussion. I am a revert, soon to be divorced from my non-Muslim husband and would love some day to get married again. At the beginning of my life as a Muslimah and because of my upbringing I was horrified at the idea of being a 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife.... but.... as time moves on and considering I already have 4 grown children (I am not a very young woman) I actually am not opposed to being an "other" wife (I don't like to use 1st, 2nd, 3rd etc because to me it almost sounds like Gold, Silver, Bronze and "also ran"...) I like my own space, I'm happy with my own company but as I'm still living and breathing... I would like the companionship and intimacy that only marriage can give. So basically, a few days per week or fortnight... would be fine with me! The only thing I still have issue with is not being upfront about the marriage, keeping it secret, lying about it.... I would find that hard and to be perfectly honest, I think I would lose respect and trust in the man. A husband is someone a wife wants to look up to, to respect, to admire... all that goes out the window if the new relationship is based on secrecy & lies. But hey, what do I know? Allah knows best. An Irish Revert
Mashallah May Allah bless you respected sister , l love your comment and l must say , l agree with 100% you said . I feel exactly the same way . Subhan’Allah , it goes to show you the beauty of this religion and the wisdom behind everything that’s halal ; I.e Polygyny . It’s a sunnah that needs to be revived . Glory to be to Our Lord, The Most High , The All Wise , and peace and blessings upon our beloved prophet ; a.s I am in the same shoes as you , l am aproaching my 40’s , a divorcee of 5 years now , I have three children , pre teens ; l am the only practicing one in my entire family , and I would love to inshaAllah one day get married and l would be completely ok with being 2, 3 or even 4 th wife , l do like my space , l have my children to take care of but finding a good Muslim brother who fears Allah who will help me in my deen , protect my chastity, and being able to have a companionship is a great thing if Allah wills . So Alhamdulilah praise be to Allah . I love this video of our respected brother Gabriel , he is addressing the real issues , the reality on the ground today , May Allah guide us all
@@24zayn very good points. I would never want to have any part in hurting another person so... The original wife always ought to know about her husband taking another wife or wives ... It's a matter of respect
@@violetanyc3007 Asalaamu Alaikom wa'rahmahtulahai wa'barakatuhu sister. I am only seeing your reply now. It's late here in Ireland and I'm going to sleep now but I just wanted to say that I will make du'a for you... May Allah Subhanuhu wa ta'ala bless you with all that you neec. May He bring into your life a loving, faithful, funny, kind, gentle and pious brother who will respect everything about you and honour you with marriage, ameen
@@ruthtruthinireland Ameen same and more to you my dear sister in Islam , May Allah bless you and your family in this life and bless you with highest level of jenaah. Thank you for your dua, much appreciated, may Allah grant you better . 🌸❤️ Salaam alaikum from a Albanian sister in New York , 🌸🌺, a mother of two red hair boys and a girl , and one of them named Aidin , everywhere we go we get asked are you Irish lol . I guess Albanians and Irish are very similar in many ways, fierce fiesty , loud, ….etc not all but some but Alhamdulilah we are all brothers and sisters God bless , all the best !
Why would a man hide it from his wife when he believes it's his right and Allah made it lawful for him. Does he fear his wife more than Allah. Some men lie to their wife. Is that not haram? And how can he be fair when he is not spending equal amount of time with both wives?
Unfortunately when a man does have a secret marriage, it means he's up to no good. Any man with pure intentions would not keep something so important a secret from his wife.
There are situations where the remarriage ruling is being abused by men in Muslim countries for example a woman who is not capable of handling a polygynous marriage and while engaged the man agrees that he won't marry a second wife but then once she has a child, he changes his mind because now she is stuck with a baby and even if she got a divorce her market value as a spouse will decrease and she is left to choose between raising that child alone or having to stay while he lowers the resources, time and intimacy with him for the sake of the second younger woman. Not to mention that a woman who is divorced is shunned and treated as inferior so it seems as being manipulated to be obedient. I don't believe that a man can truly be fair between his wives which is why I find it reasonable for women to be anxious about this type of marriage. Maybe 80% fair and 20% subconsciously unfair that is if the man is good, reasonable, and able to provide for it.
3 года назад
This was very beneficial. Allah reward you for speaking about this topic that others shy away from
Sure it's doesn't invalidate the marriage, but it's still haram, how deceitful! And what if this marriage causes harm to her, you are not allowed to lie or harm your wife! A lot of these times the wife is normal and the husband is the problem!
I still don’t think it’s justified to me if I satisfy him than there’s no excuse for him to be unfaithful to me if he is allowed four I agree okay than let’s go out separate ways.....
Sorry to break it to you but the reason Allah SWT has permitted marrying up to 4 wives is because 90% of the time, one wife can never fully satisfy her husband
@@yourfamilydoctor172 imagine turning an issue that was about orphans into an issue about desires. there's a reason why Muhammad PBUH married one young woman and the rest were widows and divorcees, some with kids. but you do not want to follow the sunnah and the footsteps of Muhammad PBUH, right?
@@u-kneeque it can be also about desire. There is nothing wrong in it. You can also marry young women as a second wife and not just widows and orphans
The issue of polygamy and other related concepts will never be settled till the day of qiyaouma 🙂 because it is a concept that has to do with individual interest and understanding. Ultimately, 99.9 % of women will never agree to this because it is a matter of rivalry.
Women have turned masculine for so many reasons including watching older women being abused, women have far exceeded men in education and patience and taken the leadership roles in homes. Not saying that is the correct order but it’s true. Millions of women work now to support homes but as this is soo normal ppl don’t talk about the issue that women are working and men need to do more to take control. But they want second wives
That’s why legal marriage isn’t good in the west the USA so then she will use the kids to hurt u even further , I personally enjoy being around women and love taking care of them so I can’t help myself
Mu'tah is haraam because the intention is temporary marriage and not to form a family. Mesyar is the same thing, the sunni version of mu'tah. If Allah has given rights to women, thats because He knows better. Women who give up their rights for the sake of freedom or materialistic gains, are betraying all the women in the world.
It is difficult for women to not be jealous and also it lowers the husband's time and resources for the first wife which makes it not acceptable for a lot of women.
Yeah same like my mom. She was the first wife. And my father married 2nd and 3rd. She fully accepted it. And she’s even propose to the 3rd wife. There’s some issues throughout their marriage but my mom is really a patient women.. I really applaud her patient..
I have to say I love you sister for the sake of Allah, I have for years been telling my relatives and friends I want a husband that is capable of accepting polygyny and they think I am crazy or lost lol
@viotela NYC. Sister Allaah does not force a women to be 2nd 3rd or 4th it’s her choice to except it or not. The Qu’aan is talking to the men by giving permission to have them with conditional first capability 2nd for justice for every things, if he couldn’t the same Ayah said have one. If you fear for your life, health I mean your mental and emotional. You rule your life.I have seen brothers looking for 2nd wife I said no cuz I can’t I know who I’m . One brother I like I said to him pray Alaah for me to make me cool and change my heart ❤️ so be happy.
Akhi dont worry about the critics just stick with the truth ....even if a man is happy with his first wife he can marry again even with no reason what the problem?.....
