similar to you i’ve started out with a belief based on simply growing into it. when i was younger, i’ve believed in Jesus as God due to my mom believing. my life never reflected my belief, so regardless if i had that foundation of the belief due to my environment.. in my heart it did not reflect that. and while belief can simply refer to believing in someONE, that belief consisted with knowing this someone was higher than me in every way including instruction & ways. and as i said, my actions in life were way different than what the God my mom believed in had instructed. fast forwarding though, when i was a teenager i was diagnosed with depression & i was reflecting on the world and myself. while i know that we should strive to make the world a better place, looking at the flaw of humanity & myself brought me to the realization that peace won’t prevail amongst human works. and time and time again i’d prove myself undeserving as well as others around me; constant wars, pain towards each other, indulging & encouraging those to indulge in things that end up leaving you empty. people always calling upon justice for something, but never reflect on who can seek justice from OURSELVES as a humanity that constantly commits such tension & poor outcome within the world. that being said, i’ve had an encounter with Jesus for myself that led me to the belief of God for myself. and though i didn’t understand everything off the bat, once i opened my heart with the willingness to seek let alone.. He’s shown me based on His world. at some point we hold faith in ANYTHING in this world, even people & ourselves.. it’s about who we’re offering our willingness to put that faith in; and after my encounter i continued to learn about the Lord. ever since i’ve had miracles done to my life (that’s not to say hardship was not present. we live in a world where suffering is inevitable) & i’ve began to walk into putting away my old self (seeking vengeance, lust, pride, etc.) and walk in a way of patience, gentleness, kindness, and love. mind you, not by my power- but the Lord’s spirit that dwells within me from accepting God & putting my faith in Jesus (John 14:5-9, John 3:16). and knowing that THIS world & it’s flawed aspects isn’t my peace but rather being with the One who MADE human life & IS life in a new and proper world after this one; being with the One who humbly came down in flesh to seek that justice for us all.. to have mercy on us for our flaws & take on punishment for them in purity; A sacrificial act of Love.. nothing else brought such peace & security. you ever just look at humans and see how they CAN and DO fail you? Knowing that the Creator will never leave nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5, Matthew 28:20).. Knowing that the Creator offers us forgiveness for our flaws, grace, gentleness YET sternness filled with wrath for what is unjust? knowing He called us to be not only a Father to us but a friend (John 15:15) I’m just so grateful til this day for experiencing the Lord & accepting a relationship with Him. I know I sound very formal in my writing but I just wanted to share a little bit of my testimony regarding the topic of belief. I have it in full in wattpad with my account named @luvlyshadae. i hope you have a good one!
This world is run on our own beliefs. Its really crazy how it works. There’s a book you might like called The Magic of Believing by Claude Bristol. I know what you mean about being nice to ppl for the sake of it. What is the belief system you had called? Feh ren gong?
the definition of religion is worship of something of divine power. the question you should ask yourself is who is worthy of worship? that is of course our One and Only God, there is one Creator only, and you should seek your Creator out in these different religions to arrive to the right conclusion of which religion is really the true one and which ones are totally manmade if its manmade, its obviously not from God Allah (means God in arabic) bears witness that there is no God but He, and (so do) the angels and those possessed of knowledge, maintaining His creation with justice; there is no god but He, the Mighty, the wise." (3:18)