The Power of Compliments | The Science of Love

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A lot of us have trouble accepting compliments. We're worried that it will make us seem self-absorbed, or we just don't believe that what the person is saying is true. But studies show that accepting compliments doesn't just help you, it also helps your relationship - so we brought in real couples to prove it.
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Created by: Mike Bernstein and Matt Pittman
Directed by: Mike Bernstein
Producer: Matt Pittman
Hosted by: Julian Huguet
Cinematographer: Yuki Noguchi
Production Designer: Flower Cole
1st AD: Basel Owies
Editor: David Sommer
Production Manager: William Cubbon
Production Coordinator: Rebecca Ma
Production Support: Nate Vaughn, Anthony Deangelo, Joseph Waggoner
B Cam Op: Jon-Michael Mooney
1st AC | DIT: Loie Russell-Templeton
Key Grip/Cam Op: Drew Moe
Gaffer/Cam Op: Greg Cotten
Art Director: Tricia Robertson
Set Decorator: Marcy Silver
Makeup: Taylor Tompkins
On Set Sound Mixer: Ben Adams
VFX & Title Sequence: Cameron Clark
Post Sound Designer & Mixer: Matt Schwartz
Colorist: Trevor Durtschi
Featured Participants: Jeannie Diamondz, Hank Dutton, Caroline Gayle, Donnie Loa, Oscar Castro, Karina Aviles, Tabatha Beustring, Steven Le, Catherine Lydon, Peter Chandos
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Опубликовано:

2 июн 2014

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Комментарии : 433

@drunkenrampage1588 8 лет назад

You're looking good through your computer screen today.

@Miafjdd 8 лет назад

Haha awww that's cute :)

@addiej5497 7 лет назад

DrunkenRampage My eyebrows have strays I have leftover eyeliner and bags under my eyes. I accept your compliment :)

@shoog_al1100 7 лет назад

DrunkenRampage really cute

@shivangisharma9459 7 лет назад

thank you :)

@MarieAmeliaFreyaAster 5 лет назад

I'm blushing

@kathygraceDemetillo 10 лет назад

I am in tears and I realized how lucky I am that my husband is not ashamed of showering me with compliments. I will learn how to accept it with open heart =) thank you soul pancake.

@wolfiexz 8 лет назад

I always feel like I'm being a creepy weirdo by giving compliments, like I'm wasting people's times but I've realized that that's not the case most of the time.. I've been told I've made people's day's with a simple compliment and I think that's the greatest feeling! It's always good to take the risk because someone could really need it.

@yarnpower 7 лет назад

Fluffy Jimin I feel the same way but I compliment strangers occasionally anyway, especially if they look a bit down. Recently I read how elderly people are virtually invisible in public, how it makes them feel isolated, so I try to be aware of them and give them a compliment when warranted, and always a smile if I can catch their eye. I frequently get a return smile, some so lively it makes me immediately picture how jaunty they were in their youth.

@ashactingup3330 10 лет назад

Every time I see one of these it leaves me feeling warm and fuzzy. We should all try to tell our loved ones the things we appreciate about them more often!

@stealthghostbr1801 6 лет назад

Ash Acting Up I feel like you have a good heart and is a good person!

@Justanobodybro Год назад

not too often tho

@JuliaSudusky 10 лет назад

Awwww man this is great, this is really freaking great

@Participant 10 лет назад

owlcraze99 We think you're pretty great too. Thanks for watching!

@COOLOD1 8 лет назад

You're crying too right? :(

@stealthghostbr1801 6 лет назад

I think you have a very good taste and nice way of writing

@carrieljp 10 лет назад

Freaking spot on, as always! I can affirm that accepting compliments boosts self esteem. About two years ago I stopped qualifying compliments and said simply, "Thank you," just liked described here. It's AMAZING how much of a difference it's made. When I don't tell myself that I don't deserve the compliment through qualifying it, my subconscious actually has started to believe it. I'm totally doing this with my man and hashtagging!!

@FG9578 8 лет назад

I just got her reaction. She said she got extremely happy with my attitude and that I'm so precious and more, that I mean a lot to her. Those words made me so happy. I can cry.

@kaitlinramspeck2306 7 лет назад

I am definitely a person who has a really hard tell accepting compliments... this makes me feel like I just have to accept them and also believe in them

7 лет назад

Oh, really? But, you're actually very beautiful! I mean it, you're a gorgeous girl :)

@thekimward 10 лет назад

My girls are 12 and 7 years old. I teach them to only say thank you when someone compliments them. I love to give compliments to complete strangers. I decided years ago, that if see someone and a compliment comes to mind (like, She has a beautiful smile.) I must tell them. You never know... they might NEED to hear it! Plus it makes me feel good... as if i'm giving a little happiness.

@veronicamakhoali614 8 лет назад

I ALWAYS CRY!!!! ALWAYS!!!!

@shivangikansal8025 8 лет назад

Awww this is beautiful. My boyfriend showers me with lots of compliments each day, and I always deflect him. Though I feel so special and unique everytime, I thought it would be arrogant on my part to unambiguously accept them. Thanks to this video for making me realise the power of accepting compliments.

@scriblemaker 10 лет назад

I think it's really interesting seeing how different people reacted to this excessive and what it revealed about their personalities and relationships. Beautiful

@annekuan5945 10 лет назад

Blushed when Julian complimented the viewers as "classy audience"! >

@GNParty 9 лет назад

Thank you for always making encouraging videos. It's refreshing to see this on RU-vid every once in a while. :)

@FantashticIdeas 10 лет назад

I will definitely make a video response to this video. Even though I'm not in a relationship nor have ever been in one, I find the series so valuable especially for my relationships with friends. I always doubt myself and have low self-esteem so I will try to accept more compliments when they come my way instead of dismissing them. Thank you Julian and Science of Love team! :D

@ultimaokami 10 лет назад

I am not sure why it made me cry. This is beautiful

@laosmouse215 10 лет назад

Not as beautiful as you ;)

@moeketsanesefako1574 10 лет назад

I really enjoy watching the science of love. It reminds me to appreciate all the people in my life, and the reason I say "hi" to random people I pass on the street

@kathrineee12 10 лет назад

Don't mind me, just sitting in a puddle of my tears.

@chuchotersaule 10 лет назад

This was great! Now I want to say thank you so much to the entire team of Soul Pancake and especially these series, they are by far my favourite!! Thank you Julian for hosting, you never fail to make me grin at my computer screen like an idiot and thank you to the writers who put so much effort and dedication to their work! And to everyone else who makes this all manageable, I've come to appreciate so much more in life because of you guys!

@princesslolo3 9 лет назад

I don't like it when people brush off a complement... I like being genuine when people complement me. i love complements! they make my day!

@rafi973 9 лет назад

Well, I do think you are beautiful! Hope I made your day... (;

@princesslolo3 9 лет назад

thank you! that did make it! 💖

@ifeelawfulfalafel7915 9 лет назад

Aw your awesome!

@ifeelawfulfalafel7915 9 лет назад

***** I was trying to word this in a way others would understand I think you did it best. :) It's true when someone doesn't respond to said complaint it's most likely they don't feel that way. So think of yourself as that part of them that is telling them that. They are beautiful or nice or kind and your there just reminding them of that. :) They'll thank you in some way.

@christianamericandominican2470 10 лет назад

I do this with my students on a weekly basis. I call it "Acknoledgment day". When given a choice of a reward, they would rather do this than free time, treats or a movie. There have been many hugs and tears of joy in my classroom because of this. I had a troubled student go from all "F"s to All "B's" and "A's". When the principal asked him why he decided to make the change he said, "I didn't know people liked me until the day it was my turn to be acknowledged."

@HaloBalla 10 лет назад

I really like this psychological science, if I was born with any self confidence it has dissolved over the years of my life. This brings me great hope in myself, to accept the positive things around me and try to not pry it away as if I do not meet up with the kind words or deserve them.

@lynmagarao1005 8 лет назад

Thank you for making videos/ social experiments like this!!! Inspirational. *new fave youtube channel found*

@Participant 8 лет назад

+Len Magarao You're welcome! We love getting such positive and inspiring feedback! If you loved this, check out The Science of Happiness: bit.ly/1hdH9XP

@alexistyme 10 лет назад

I cry every time I watch The Science of Love because it warms my heart seeing so much positivity from everyone. That and I'm just overly emotional lol.

@chloe9314 9 лет назад

Wow this video has made me cry! Touching to see genuine compliments being payed to loved ones to show them how much we appreciate them

@t8ls 10 лет назад

Thank you for showing me that i'm doing it right by doing so. Watching this video increased my self esteem. I definetly thank you for putting that much affort into those things. I appreciate youre work very much. I learned to open my heart for the world again last autumn and i think that i was able to enstrenghten all of my valuable friendships after that. Accepting compliments is a hard step for a lot of people. I feel a new security and i feel more valueable than ever before in my life, and i am what i feel now. Thank you again - you helped me a little bit to improve myself and some people around me.

@witchplease9695 9 лет назад

I hate compliments. I suffer from social anxiety and BDD so they always seem like sick jokes.

@nesirsitsir 8 лет назад

+Des Then you should watch the video and see how accepting compliments will help your social anxiety and BDD

@witchplease9695 8 лет назад

***** I always say thank you to be polite obviously, but that doesnt mean I like them. I rather not get compliments on my appearance. Compliments on my achievements are fine though.

@mahnoortruffles6046 7 лет назад

tigerlily same 😂

@noversibirsk 7 лет назад

I hate compliments too, although i do not suffer from social anxiety, i thought i was the only person who hated compliments, it is reassuring to know that I am not the only one.

@ia4773 5 лет назад

noversibirsk why don’t y’all like complement

@ThatGirlSaadiyaTV 10 лет назад

Honestly, you guys make the best content. This was so beautiful to watch!

@Participant 10 лет назад

+ThatGirlSaadiyaTV Thank you for watching our videos. We appreciate your support!

@AussieHavanna 10 лет назад

Thank you SoulPancake Team for making this video, it is so important that we learn to accept compliments and try to see the truth in them. I feel like so many younger people are told "You're selfish, you're too self centered," ect. As an example I've even had someone say to me that "you have too much self confidence." Comments like these can get you down and make it difficult to accept positive feedback from others because most people don't want to be seen as conceited. Ya'll are doing an absolutely wonderful job with this series, keep up the good work!

@lovemecom3832 7 лет назад

This is the main reason why we feel confident to ourselves because of those people who loves us and reminds us on how capable we are of doing things.

@mariah_7654 7 лет назад

This inspires me to compliment my friends more. Not fluffy and fake to be nice, but real true honest complement about what I see in them and how they help me.

@DrBeefmaster 10 лет назад

Noooo, it doesn't have to be limited to people you know! One of my favorite things to do is to compliment random people. It's so much fun seeing how surprised people are and to watch an involuntary smile creep across their faces! And the best part is, 99 out of 100 times they'll completely accept it with a simple "Thank you" and you never have to worry about them giving those excuses that invalidate the compliment. And it just makes people happier!! So go give strangers compliments people! It'll make someones day, I promise :)

@monkeyme1995 10 лет назад

I love the Science of Love videos so much. I like how it takes basic parts of human relationships that are so obvious, they're taken for granted, and puts them into a perspective that is so simple and clear to understand. It really makes stop and think about your relationships with people.

@moss_fairy2001 8 лет назад

I'm actually sobbing someone send help this makes me so happy

@jocelynjimenez6703 10 лет назад

I think I am falling more and more in love with Julian (the host) he presents himself with so much confidence with every single word he says! He makes me feel like a smarty pants after each episode of The Science of Love :) I also want to compliment the team production, you are all amazing people. You are teaching knowledge and that in really powerfull!! I absolutely love Soulpancake!!! #thescienceoflove is my favorite videos!! Thank you guys!!

@MrBully83 10 лет назад

I love all of these 'science of' videos... I'm an ESL teacher in Korea, and often use these videos with my adult classes. They always garner really fantastic discussions and responses among my students. Thank you SP, you rock

@whereverigothereiam3078 6 лет назад

Nothing more soul filling then a GENUINE, spontaneous and accepted compliment. One of the greatest exchanges two people can share.

@genevievenolan3377 10 лет назад

Soulpancake always turns my sad tears into happy tears

@FrumpybutSuperSmart 10 лет назад

I will always share the Science of Love and Science of Happiness videos as much as I can because they are phenomenal and I think they can help everyone with their relationships of all types, self awareness, and joy. Please continue to make these as long as there are things to improve on internally and interpersonally. These always make my day and I believe that they can really help people.

@justhangingaroundhere7367 6 лет назад

This comes to mind while watching this video.... I was at a restaurant and went to the restroom and honestly by that age I was my self esteem was so low. (Still kinda is but eh) and so I washed my hands but when I turn around I am met with this older lady in a wheel chair. And she just gives me the biggest smile ana says, "You're such a beautiful young lady." and it caught me so off guard tbh. I felt a huge smile on my face while I stuttered out a thank you. Needless to say, I was so happy for the rest of the day. Just by that one compliment. I'm honestly grateful to that elderly lady for it. Idk it made my day.

@SilviaYiyi 9 лет назад

This is something I'm really dealing right now...why is it so hard to accept compliments from someone that loves you...validating and respecting his thoughts...I never thought it that way...so THANK YOU :) you let me thinking.

@skullshapedbox 9 лет назад

I just love this series! I forget sometimes to really accept what my partner says about me, because its sometimes hard to believe it. He truly is a dream come true.

@FatBellyChemist1234 7 лет назад

Thank you very much for explaining this to me, I now feel I can freely accept and embrace compliments without much of a stress. Oh I am doing this with my boyfriend everyday, and I think I am allowing him to be happier.

@tuathadanu 9 лет назад

I really enjoyed this inspiring piece! Thanks to Julian who came across as confident, knowledgeable and just gorgeous :) Lots of love for SoulPancake, from Australia :D

@rabergeron28 10 лет назад

I loooove this series! Please keep on with all the amazing work!! I'm always left with a heart full of gratitude and a smile. Lovely way to end the night :)

@kristig13 10 лет назад

I love love love these videos! You guys at SoulPancake never fail to make me smile!

@laosmouse215 10 лет назад

I wish some randon person would give me a compliment about myself, it would probably make my day

@dumbledoratheexplora1140 10 лет назад

You're beautiful \(^o^)/

@laosmouse215 10 лет назад

DumbleDora TheExplora thanks

@laosmouse215 10 лет назад

chris ce Im a guy ....lol

@uznnal 10 лет назад

You will still totally rock, in bed with chris ce

@Mattprole 10 лет назад

That's a very fun thought - I will try to do that to people I meet. Thank you for inspiring me to do that! You seem like a cool person!

@MadhuMakkhi9 10 лет назад

Wonderful to see POSITIVITY PASSED ON!!! NICE WORK SoulPancake!!!

@zolahope6210 8 лет назад

That was the most beautiful thing I saw in a very long time. Thank you

@earlobe0410 7 лет назад

This is one of my absolute favorite videos, it’s changed how I accept compliments. I’ve shared this with so many people!

@nnjthewho 10 лет назад

Awesome video and great series! I've been following from day one and every time it is amazing and inspiring. Keep them coming, Thank you!

@venusliketheplanet 2 года назад

it’s 2022 and i’m watching this video 8 years after it released and i think people should still practice this exercise not just in romantic relationships but with platonic and their family members as well. with social media arising more people have a difficulty with their self esteem and comparing themselves, their lives, and also relationships.

@Bababenny1 10 лет назад

Once again I'm moved by your videos. I truly apply much of what I see and learn in your videos with my wife, my children and my life in general. Great messaging and it never fails to put a smile on my face and even an occasional tear in my eye. Keep 'em coming.

@irisemmyreadings 9 лет назад

This is the best youtube channel I have come across with ever. Thank you for the positive and helpful video's!

@crazysteveofficial 10 лет назад

I love this so much. I feel like giving random people in the hallway I don't know, compliments and see what they say

@rylee_l 7 лет назад

Once my friend told me that my skin looked really nice and that it had a "healthy glow." It really made my day because I used to have really bad acne, to the point where I'd do anything I could to cover up my face or not leave because I was so embarrassed by it. He's only known me since I cleared it up (with medication), and it really made me so happy because I never thought I'd be at a place where people would actually compliment me for my skin. I had always had nothing but problems but he genuinely thought my skin looked nice. It was the simplest compliment but it made me feel so good about myself

@lindaframpton2193 10 лет назад

Great concept and we don't get or do enough of this... a wonderful way to change a negative world or mind set.

@bootsfarrow 10 лет назад

The videos SoulPancake posts are amazing. I try to share with all my friends. To bring their inner self out to themselves. Love to see them grow inside. I'd love to know more about all the studies. Plus tests, I want to do mayn't of these in my town

@MissEdge102 10 лет назад

(note: you are only allowed to say "Thank you" in response to this comment) You are beyond beautiful and I wish you the very best in life! Have a wonderful day, because you deserve it

@ttoledo88 10 лет назад

Thank you 😊

@HeatherRempel 10 лет назад

Thank you ☺️

@OMGTBTTC 10 лет назад

Thank you

@jennyolatunji6632 10 лет назад

Thank you

@susannejohannessen5030 10 лет назад

Thank you :)

@renznetwork 10 лет назад

SoulPancake you're are one of my favorite RU-vid channel, your channel always brings positivity and a smile to my face.

@OwlskiTV 10 лет назад

A few years back, there was a girl I had feelings for.. Now, I'm not particularly the most confident guy when it comes to confessing how I feel, but I feel most comfortable when I'm just expressing my inner thoughts at the given moment. Granted both she and I had low self-esteem and would often think little of ourselves, which made it hard for the both of us to take complements well. The few years we were friends, I would always encourage and try my best to support her. I offered her advice and would complement her whenever I believed something about her was true. Though her having low self-esteem, she would be skeptical towards my words. Sadly in the end, she stopped believing in my words all together and ended up thinking I was just lying to her face. I personally regret not having the self-esteem to accept and appreciate the complements that she gave me as well. I'm not sure if there is a moral to this story, or if it's just the ramblings of an old owl; But maybe if both of us were more accepting towards each others kindness, perhaps we'd still at least be friends.

@tyskvodka 6 лет назад

its not just that its very powerful to let yourself receive compliments, accepting a compliment is a gift to the other as well. It hurts when you want to offer love to someone and the other can't take it in, because its a form of rejection. It rejects the other, and the self too. When a compliment is received, its a win win situation. It feels good to compliment, it feels good when you see what you say makes your loved one feel seen and loved, and it feels good to let yourself be loved, and to love yourself enough to allow that to happen. It brings us closer and boosts everyones confidence! Its just good all around! Love leads to love, that creates love, that spreads more love, that makes you feel love, and forever it goes! Magic.

@emk3234 10 лет назад

This makes me feel really good about me and my boyfriends relationship. We give each other at least 5 compliments a day and we ALWAYS accept them even if we ourselves don't. I do find it hard to accept compliments (especially on my art work) but I always make sure I accept them

@julietteroux-merveille4640 10 лет назад

This is just amazing! As a person without any self-esteem, I found this experiment as bright as the sun, and you just made my day. "Thank you" I would really like to test it with friends and my parents, but what kind of questions should I ask them?

@linney4you 8 лет назад

Thank you Soul Pancake! I'm so grateful for a world full of love!

@jordandelarmente5822 6 месяцев назад

When i feel alone i always come back to this video, because i hope that one day I have a loved one that compliments me.

@mohammadsharif9192 10 лет назад

Soul Pancake just keep getting better and better

@-gohu- 10 лет назад

i'm joining the "i think i have a crush on julian" club. and i absolutely adore every single "the science of love" video. thank you, guys

@stewartleese561 9 лет назад

Awesome series. Well produced. Great host. Why hasn't a TV network picked this up?

@RBabiw 10 лет назад

Wow this was really beautiful. Im actually crying. Thank you !!!

@candycesellars 10 лет назад

Julian. I don't know you. But your videos being me joy. You seem like a truly beautiful person both inside and out. Thank you to you and your whole team

@nlove4921 7 лет назад

I've always struggled accepting compliments, not only because it's hard to accept it but because I don't want to come off as cocky or anything that makes it seem like I see myself as higher than others; self centered. Really glad I watched this though and I'll definitely be answering with a thank you from now on :)...or at least I'll try hahaha

@takepartlive 10 лет назад

The Science of Love series is one of our favorites! Love this video.

@TravisBell79 10 лет назад

The Science of Love series is the reason I subscribe to Soul Pancake (well, and Kid President lol)

@DaisyRayChavez 10 лет назад

i love this so much, mostly because im so lucky to be in a relationship with the man of my dreams. this made my day.

@frankiesca 9 лет назад

This made me cry. I love you Soulpancake.

@tillwinterisgone 10 лет назад

This video really has helped me out because I do feel uncomfortable accepting compliments a lot of the time. I really appreciate this video. :)

@anniemae343 9 лет назад

I wish you guys made more of the science of love and happiness. I love love love these videos!

@Virenneality 8 лет назад

Beautiful video. Love the scientific back up! This definitely needs to be spread around more! Great work :) Brought a huge smile on my face when I saw how these people took the compliments and explained how it made them feel. Love the honesty and the rawness of the emotions.

@ElainaWilliams994 10 лет назад

Awww, I felt shy for them! :)

@CarolinaCastroParra 10 лет назад

This video is just awesome. I'm in a relationship but I've never stopped to consider how we take compliments one from the other so maybe we should give it a try. However, beyond the relationship between my partner and me, I gotta recognize is really hard for me to take compliments just exactly for the reasons you say but also, I don't know, somehow I feel distressed... I like the fact you are doing this cause somehow it gives me an insight but still is not so easy to accept or feel different when it comes to receiving compliments...

@AravahStar 10 лет назад

I love YOU Soulpancake! I think this is truly one of the most positive, interesting &inspiring channels on youtube. You make my heart SING! That's my compliment to you SP...for the day : )

@Participant 10 лет назад

Thank YOU! Willow Star We really appreciate all of your support. :)

@pushupman8269 10 лет назад

I really enjoyed this... makes me feel better about the compliments I periodically recieve. Great video!

@thaislinhares5591 10 лет назад

That videos are so nice. They always make me cry fulled with good emotions.

@rafaelcf1037 9 лет назад

Thank you, Julian and everybody in the show... You guys make a beutiful work! thanks you!

@adinajoseph7315 8 лет назад

this is exactly what i needed! I loved it and am i the only one who thought that Julian was hella cute/? XD

@3Milkshake 10 лет назад

Thank you SoulPancake for this amazing video. It really brings me tears of happiness.

@TheVibeOnline 10 лет назад

I love The Science of Love videos, keep them coming! You guys are great!

@navidahmadi4 4 года назад

hey guy, that was literally sensational. I needed it. I appreciate that.

@kuragehime602 10 лет назад

This is gorgeous omg I love this so much, like, we are not as bad as we might think we are

@MissMSL91 10 лет назад

yeah I'm not gonna lie, this totally made me a bit tearful! What a lovely video with an important message :) I think we should all give and accept more compliments, it would make the world a happier place!

@chethanks5538 10 лет назад

i only dabble in watching these videos but this one really hit me. amazing stuff.

@paulawa7282 10 лет назад

Thanks for making me smile! One more wonderful video in this the science of love series!

@jasonmerrill 10 лет назад

Thank you for that. Makes me realize I should be complimenting others way way more.

@NinjaTurtles1100 10 лет назад

I love this series. So glad you guys made it!

@anenielsen6276 7 лет назад

When random people just tell me that I have pretty hair, I say thanks and I just think they're weird, but now I see that they're just being nice. This video is great :)