The Problem with Over-Friendly People 

I found this out the hard way and now I trying to put the pieces back together

True.

So true trying to hard to be excepted you lose your true self and become deluded and more uncertain of everything you are, I have learnt in this world some people will except you and some won't no matter what you do, so just be yourself it's the only way 😊

It doesn't matter if the whole world turn against you,the moment you sacrificied your identity to be accepted by others, your value as a person also ceast to be

I don't wanna be accept I go with the flow.

And some are just good people.

Exactly. I'm really friendly because I've seen what the world is like without it; and that's really fucking ugly. This video is just straight horseshit.

Samuel Patchin Not really, (As someone who just got rejected by his favorite person because of my Overfriendliness) I’ve hit rock bottom before and when i was there, i lost all sight of color in the world. I was a nihilist and i was proud of it, but it was wrong. Whenever i got better i managed to spot a ray of light (her) and it somehow renewed my view of the world and allowed me to see all of it’s potential beauty and kindness and it also made me Overfriendly. We must take the risk of offending others as everything we say WILL offend someone, and agreeing with everything they say is dumb (unless they are genuinely right about everything). Confrontation doesn’t need to have a negative outcome, instead, both parties can acquire a higher knowledge from a discussion, before we start discussing though we need to learn how to discuss, but that’s another topic for another day. Have a nice life guys :)

If you always say yes They Will want everything from you, BUT if you say no they Will BE angry, BUT still Who cares you need to BE strong. And if someone force you to do something say no, no one can FORCE you.

Too real

Yuyi Leal so true omg

Yuyi Leal Wow this is me.

There is truth to your opinion for sure. I think school and peers play a huge part as well. Feeling unaccepted and getting bullies / ignored by everyone does this to a person as well. Busy parents too, divorce, etc. I think all of those factors contributed to my over-friendliness. Plus i havent made a real friend my entire life.

Yuyi Leal That is how I am now that I am in the real world I'm a little of both now nice anytime but still honest when I must

Yuyi Leal thanks for this comment, you caught the real truth behind "overly"friendly people, in reality they are so positive because they feel very sad inside, not having the support they needed from a young age. These people need just some positive energy back and will be some of the best people out there.

I'm Brazilian but I think it's "its"

@@DinoMarcoccia You're right, fixed it

Who says it’s inaccurate? Is it not possible that they think your hair is nice (for example) even if you don’t? And isn’t it nice that they think that, even if you don’t? Hell, isn’t there a chance that someone complimenting you about an aspect you feel insecure about might help lift your spirits and feel better about yourself, eg by telling a girl with weight issues that you think she looks just fine the way she is? This is such a narcissistic, entitled complaint.

@@DinoMarcoccia * I think

@Captain Obvious Thank you, Sir ... you state the obvious; but as poet Alexander Pope put it, what is "often thought, but ne'er so well expressed."

Zenith I couldn’t agree more. Nice point

Yeah I picked up as a kid that you can be the friendliest nicest person in the world but there will still be someone who will just hate you for whatever reason.

thank you. I remember when i was grade 5 i wanted to finally have friends because i was the shy one who didnt have any. So in school i tried making friends but one of them called me very annoying and walked away, it made me so sad that i went to being the lonely girl again

+sora kimbap I'm sorry to hear it :/..You're better now though right?

Being nice to devils in a devils society won't get you friends especially if you don't have a devils mask on. It was the common standard to be nice to one another back when the constitution was made to ensure a healthy society. Nowadays people have challenged authority over and over and over to where new ideologies are created the common good is decreasing as the people accept new ideas however these new ideas aren't pushing society forward at all. Its only dragging us back. Those who believe over-friendliness is the problem are the ones who failed to find those who never once thought of challenging authority. Its sad that those people are mostly extinct and shows this society is a true devils society. Where if you don't suffer you are not accepted into the norm.

YaYa Man They're all too busy trying to be cool, to realize that "over friendliness" doesn't exist. They forgot that anyone can suffer from social anxiety in an unfamiliar situation, the pressure of making a strong first impression and being afraid to put your relationships on the line with some of your own personal and controversial opinions. It takes time and patience to get used such scenarios and clearly voice your thoughts and even so you can still find yourself struggling and failing. "over friendliness" is born from the arrogance of our ideals and the denial of our reality.

beware of your wishes, they may come true

YaYa Man hi there! You're probably are so awesome and nice, you're absolutely perfect! All your ideas are so great that I'm so sure it'll get you to amazing places! You beautiful and you know it^^ I hope you have a spectacular and fabulous day~ 🌼🌼

I think people are mean towards each other for defensive mechanisms or cold towards others. Some people take it to the extreme where they expect people to deal with there bullshit behavior and eventually get close and get along. I don't know that's what I think. I'm tired of that shit though like no I'm not gonna suck it up to get along with you. I'm not gonna "tolerate" bad behavior. If your a bad person your a bad person that's it. People like to play opposite these days.

YaYa Man I see what you did there... lol

Vanessa Gibbs giving when they need..

Vanessa Gibbs i think the point is that when they compliment random things that have nothing to do with your interest, it makes it look like you care more about being nice than the person you compliment.

very well said there

Vanessa Gibbs Yes, you get it. They were made to feel like they were a burden by a caretaker/parent/family, so they have to constantly please, and be pleasant. The basis of it for me was to make the other person smile/feel good, so I wouldn't feel like such a shameful burden to the human race. It was never to get anyone to like me. When you feel like such a burden you can't even imagine someone genuinely liking you sadly. It's really awful. I do appreciate this being brought to my attention though from your initial article. I've definitely toned down my friendliness with people I initially encounter. I wouldn't want them to like someone like me/want to be my friend, that's for sure.

Or, they're happy and genuinely friendly. What I've learned is a lot of you are miserable and can't contemplate someone NOT being miserable.

Amen.

You’re dead right about that

Is there. I don't get it. I was alwasy told nor trust an overly nice person they are just after some thing. I wish this wasn't drilled into my head, coz now I have no one nice around me just ass holes that have hurt me in one way or another 😕

Yeah nice people suck. Lol. Horrible advice.

@S. O. don’t be nice, people don’t like nice people, people like cool people that are chill and not give a fuck what people say and live how they want.

Andrei Asinas I know people around me are 99% like you

i'm more worried about being perceived as being fake than actually being fake. i think the line's drawn between being nice for the sake of being liked or actually wanting others to have a good time in your company for un-selfish reasons.

Friendly and fake.. makes for some creepy unintended friendships! XD hahaha

Welcome to the human race I guess eh?

Andrei Asinas We all know the truth. We are incredibly friendly to people to avoid depressive loneliness.

F D omg YAS!!!! 💯 I recently learned this. The more I just be myself and not worry so much about the feelings of others, the more I vibe mutually with people. It's a trip. But so glad im free from the burden of taking on others feelings.

An overly friendly person is who I am. I’m quiet at first but when I get comfortable I’m like a mother or an aunt to those around me.

Thank you for saying this

I am overly nice because im too scared to show people who i am, because i think im actually a really bad person

I understood to keep your guard up. Anybody that acts friendly with you, whether someone you do not know or someone you have known awhile is not looking to be your friend. They are looking for someone to victimise. 21st century people are incapable of true friendship. I learned this the hard way. Today, I may have no friends nor a girlfriend. But more importantly, I have nobody trying to victimise me. Being social in an interpersonal way no longer serves a pelurpose in modern society. Stay away from humans. They are not your friends nor do they want to be.

Bollox Magee lmao your fucking pic is great

yup

Nah, it's cause Spongebob is annoying and straight up dangerous.

lmao

Lmao

Exactly. What's being adressed in the video is actually agreeablenes, totally different thing and those who watch Jordan Peterson already have a pretty good grasp on it

Please have an opinion and be honest about it. I don’t trust people pleasers. They aren’t honest.

The video is about people "over"ly, intrusively friendly. As who ignore boundaries, nonverbal (and even verbal) stop signals, as to waylay those amid other aims.

@@JudgeJulieLit no

​@@egusisoup1826 Yes. Re-read the video title, "The Problem with OVER-friendly People, and again view the video, this time with comprehension.

Strawberry Sunset a new part of industrial America.. Assholes

Strawberry Sunset Well said, people who are not accustomed to kindness as a daily norm and quotidian ethic tend to view it as odd at best occasional.

Strawberry Sunset the fact that you had to insult none overly nice people shows that your "overly niceness" is fake sorry to say..

+Strawberry Sunset Thank you. I was actually second guessing myself. I have no clue what other people think about me even though my intent is very clear in my head.

Strawberry Sunset I dont think you even remotely understood the point of this video

Yes! And this video is pure cancer by blackmailing ALL good and sweet people. Hope nobody takes this bullcrap seriously.

cool

I completely agree. They should change "over-friendly" to something like "disingenously friendly" or a term that gets across that same message.

Charmaine Espeut Sincerity - you will be liked when you can convincingly pretend to be sincere.

Yeah. I agree

Same here.

Good side - you have a clear vision about yourself. Not like 1000 others egomaniacs here.

You are not pleasing them, as much as you are limiting their initiative and shutting them out sooner.

Teenie! Same

Teenie! Same here ;-;

I feel the same way, but I've also gotten compliments that just seem to not make sense and it immediately makes me wonder if they're being genuine or just trying to get me to like them, and I think that's fair to think about too.

I see it a bit differently. I might agree with what your opinion with Western culture, as people less often give out compliments and one can tell they are generally sincere with the comments. Then these I would be humble and flattered. However, I’ve found that in many Asian culture, people give out compliments way too often, where they become somewhat ingenuine. Some you can even hear from the tone, that it’s probably just a regular thing for them to say to others. I wouldn’t reject these, but then I’m aware they’re trying to bring in relationships for other purposes. In short, I think it’s really a case by case thing. I wouldn’t generalize one that rejects a compliment incredibly self-centred.

@@hangryallthetime in simple terms, why would you reject a positive compliment if indeed you believed the person had good intentions behind the word rather than being snarky or made for humorous purposes?

@@mrpussinboots4252 haha I’m just trying to offer a different perspective. I would happily accept a genuine compliment.

@@hangryallthetime Well I stand corrected however my point still stands. Unless it's done in a sarcastic fashion I would be grateful and accepting of a compliment, that's not to say their isnt examples where people may possibly compliment to manipulate you but that's a whole other topic.

you're disagreeing, so you're in the safe zone

Same here! :

I think you guys missed the point. He never said you couldn't be nice and agreeable but not to do so at the expense at your individuality. People who laugh and agree at things that deep down inside don't coincide with their own views and morals are just playing themselves and in a way inhibiting their own personal growth. Be kind, but be you. It's okay to be on the other side of the fence when someone or something doesn't seem right to you

@Big D Or it can piss them off if they don't like you.

He's not saying you shouldn't smile or say hello or compliment someone. He's saying that you shouldn't overdo it. He's saying that it shouldn't be done at the expense of your own personality. That it's okay to smile or compliment or say hello but when it becomes too much or when it's done at the expense of your individuality or personality, then it's a bad thing. That's all :)

Thanks. I had a good laugh with that. It's a ridiculous video!

Dry Academic British accent for effect, but it's all phony broski... don't worry

aNoYinG vOicE 💀💀💀💀damn me too

@@westsidesmitty1 But unfortunately it works, people like being treated like shit, i say treat them the way they want it , women in particular i can't tell you how successful in relationships i am now that i have "embraced evil", act like a jerk, who just doesn't give a flying fuck, and watch as you get surrounded by people, Are they good people? Who knows, they certainly aren't all evil. Don't fight shadows you won't win instead embrace and co-opt.

aNoYinG vOicE I bet My last Rolo you’re the most nicest person around your friends family and wherever you maybe

Star power I relate to this so badly.

omgg yeeees

Be just hated for who you are than loved for who you're not

Don’t live your life for other people and don’t look at everyone at face value.

Think of simplicity. No joke but try to not think that much and just live, be yourself and don’t think as much about what other people think of you as you do right now

You learn to love yourself no matter what. You know your value. You learn that if others don't agree, it's ok. You have self trust, self efficacy, self agency. Social awkwardness is a result of poor self esteem and disempowerment. It's caring too much what others think and giving them too much power over how you feel, especially about yourself. Cultivate the traits you admire, have your own back...and root out cognitive distortions, limiting beliefs, those things which create warped lenses about yourself and others. Be ok with what is. You have to accept you, before anyone else will. We attract what we are, how we treat ourselves, what we think we deserve. Often this is very subconscious and goes against what we consciously want. Our subconscious runs most of the show though, and it's programming started in early childhood. You've got to reprogram that, similar to a computer. Neuroplasticity is your friend in this regard, for changing the programs. You have far more power than you can imagine.

capnrojos U said it all. Thanks.

Damn. I've never related to anything more in my life. But in my experience I'm always taken advantage of when i'm "over friendly" which is why I've been trying to be a little more reserved.

i also relate to this comment a lot aha.

Thumbs up :D I was surprised how quickly you mentioned the PTSD and abuse, which applies to me. I think they somehow confused being a suckup (is that what it's called?) and a fake-yes-nodding-person that only wants to network to get what they want, to someone actually considering their feelings and trying to make this persons life better. I certainly did not recognize myself in the video, but I do recognize most of myself in your comment.

Yes. The video does basically imply that an overly-friendly individual likely has their own problems but lack the confidence in believing that other people would be able to relate/understand them were they to share that aspect of themselves ... Which you'd realize if ... You know ... You actually payed attention to the video... But I won't blame you. It *IS* a flaw of an overly-friendly individual to lack the ability to _actually_ PAY ATTENTION and UNDERSTAND what a person is saying. 😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄

Kenneth McCormick, nailed it

Can you be honest if you are aware of others feelings? If you have to sacrifice honesty to save hardship, is it really honesty?

peronkop Yes. One can be honest while being aware of the other persons feelings. One just needs to be intellectually honest & can still choose silence.

In other words overly friendly people come across as being fake and it's difficult liking or trusting someone you don't know

skojo3e and once you get to know them you’ll know they can be trusted

You Admit it and dont lie little duck Fucking duck

djay T-b an over friendly person . . . . . . . . I’m sorry I had to

friendly robbers

😀

Omg ur comment is my favorite comment😱

Feel free to read it as an essay: it's in the link below SHOW MORE

FlawedbyDesign I agree, I think I should have understood it, but not sure if I did

Their also an Episode of Invisabelia that talk mentions this topic. It's talks about why it was so difficult to open a McDonalds in Russia.

My Pineapple Gets WiFi Where can I see this episode?

FlawedbyDesign omg... I do relate exactly how you phrased this.

TheNessa284 There is something hypocritical about avoiding and scrutinizing overfriendly people just because they don't pander to your level of understanding or perfectly relate to your current situation, even though they still want to engage you at some level. The standards are absurd.

Exactly, it's very hypocritical! The video complains that an 'overly-friendly' person doesn't actually care at all about you, but it's told from the perspective of, 'This person isn't 100% catering to my emotional needs. They're horrible and disingenuous and should be avoided.' Would you actually expect a stranger or acquaintance to honestly consider you above everything else? From the perspective this video is coming from, they don't even seem to exactly care about the other person either, just themself. I try to be friendly to people even I don't exactly mesh with them, especially those seen on a day to day basis. Wish them a good morning and good day, hold open a door, help them out if they need it -- all that stuff. Just because you don't like someone - or maybe you do like them but they're not exactly a person you want to have in your personal life - it doesn't mean that they don't matter and don't deserve to be treated with respect. Life is incredibly stressful and difficult enough without having someone else dump their personal issues or grudges on you!

It's not saying "don't be a nice person". It's just saying "you don't need to give up your self to be nice to everyone all the time, you are valuable and your opinions matter". You're thinking of a false dichotomy (to be nice person all the time or be a mean person all the time). It's more of a spectrum full of choices and should be led by your own needs too.

That's actually not what I was thinking. There is rarely ever a topic regarding communication where everything is simply black or white, and I'm sorry if I phrased my thoughts so it came across as such! In my last comment I only really voiced my opinion on how kindness was perceived as trying too hard to be liked. I hadn't really bothered to mention the avoidance of conflict part as I felt it was redundant to write out what other comments worded much better! Of course there are definitely instances where you should not agree or be friendly eith a stranger, though those are generally extreme and not quite what the video was covering. The video tries to paint someone being 'overly friendly' who doesn't often disagree in social situations (be it actively or passively) as either being fake and trying too hard to be likable or just unknowledgable and/or refusing to pay attention. However, there are plenty of reasons why someone just won't always engage in a debate, with strangers or friends, some of which being along the lines of: Is it worth my time and effort? Do I actually care enough about this topic to push it? Is it actually my place to say anything, especially if it's a personal matter? Is this person just having a bad day or a small emotional outburst and just venting poorly? Is this stranger or topic worth my time, or is the possible outcome worth the potential risk? Is it worth hurting this friendship over? Also, seeing as this video seems more aimed at acquaintances being 'overly-friendly' and agreeable, it's also a common trait of the introverted to generally only share their personal life and opinions with those closest to them. Is this topic or person so important to them that they're going to dip into their social reserves? Of course there are plenty of other reasons why, but just because you don't agree with a topic yet don't pursue conflict, it doesn't mean that you're trying to pander for attention as the video placed it. And as you took from it, someone avoiding conflict doesn't necessarily think their opinion matters, either, but maybe something else matters to them more than the voicing of that opinion! Sorry, this was very tldr-y!

windfishie i.e.

I was homeschooled growing up too and have a lot of challenges from it that I am still struggling with deeply in my late 30s.

I believe this is more on those who put on an act of being overly friendly, like how you expect a Starbucks employee or somebody from corporate praising the company you work for using safe corporate speak. Playing the part insincerely can be just as alienating as just brushing the social interaction off entirely. Being a happy person and genuinely connecting with your friends is healthy and should be practiced. Be true to yourself and live your best life

I love this way of thinking

Lol true

Quality of the video.!

@@stedjuba259 well yeah his profile is budda. Budda is peace.

Lol true, but they wouldn't disagree with him telling them these stuff in person.

This video is s personal insult to my existence

I identify with every word you typed , kindness is never wrong tho it’s the people that take advantage of it

Nothing wrong with it unless it hurts you. The only thing I could suggest is being more honest with yourself and others so stress or burnout doesn't hit you as hard. You got this!! If people don't like the "new" you, avoid them or drop them.

I feel like I have written all of this. You have described it amazingly. I can feel and relate to the ach of above line. Why we always see ppl with similarity, only on Internet?

Hey Thanks for being so vulnerable ☺. What you said reminds me so much of my younger self, and I'm not that much older than then! 10 yrs changes things that I've worked on changing. Definitely consider thinking about that and how it might affect you more. Like you said, it gets stressful when your "me" shows. Over time it might build up. Don't worry, you're getting there. Eventually you may come to realize people are going to like you/dislike you any way that you are anyway. And youll decide some time on when making a new friend or aquaintance to try saying whats r eally on your mind just to see...which may feel terribly anxious! But strangly exciting...and you may try it a couple more times over time with varying success but youll figure it out. And then youll do it totally with that one person and youll realize, hey, this is actually wonderful 🙂 But you know what? If you reach your happiness and peace another way, that's awsome too! 😀

AtomicLemonade if you be yourself thats all that should matter because people who like you for who you are will be pleasing to them, even if its not everyone, thats okay.

perfect guess i mean how boring would it be to please everyone

Of course not. Not everyone will like you and not everyone will dislike you.

Some people honestly want to be left alone and go about their day. Having someone around you who is smiley, sunshine and rainbows thinking there is nothing wrong in the world is just as bad as someone who is conniving, bitter and arrogant being just a mule-headed douchebag if you ask me.

AtomicLemonade ye

Dantick09 I'm the same way, and even if I do get angry I'm not going to make a scene about it or take it out on anyone.

Dantick09 I think they're making a distinction between being a positive person and being too friendly. One who is overly friendly is being disingenuous about their positivity and it's only a facade to mask their true feelings. I don't know about you, but I can usually tell the difference between people like that and genuinely happy, positive people!

I know when you asked that you thought there is no way anger could do anything good, but in fact anger is the emotion that caused the biggest changes for the better in the world. dont avoid an emotion, thats worse..

Dantick09 I guess we're just very straightforward people xD being negative is just not productive.

Being emotionally stable person has nothing to do with bein overly friendly.

Cerii Well said.

No, you don't have to be a friend with people that you do not trust

"trust everyone until the day they outright betray you". Can't remember where I heard it, but i'll never forget it.

"If there is a message I must bring to you, love all and trust a few" - Groundation

Oktay Why did you say that? He didn't say be a friend he said be friendly.

Mikka Get over yourself

Don't be a dick. @@givingup5337

i can relate to yiu so much

I feel you @mikka

You are too pretty for that.

I recently flew with Emirates Airlines and saw how bad the passengers and their own leaders were treating them. They were overly nice and too young to understand that their attitudes reflects on how people treat you.

I work for Disney and that's not always the case. I just do it cuz its fun and honestly its the best way to make time fly fast. lol

It's basically the problem with the customer service industry. I personally prefer employees don't smile too much and I don't mind if sometimes they look bored - because they're people who are doing something mostly if not solely because they're being paid to do so. They're not always going to be feeling great and super happy to be there. But I have a feeling that there's a skewed sample of self-selected people who love the "they're always so upbeat!" facade who write comment cards and speak to managers, so companies assume everyone wants that. As someone who's worked in customer service jobs for about 13 years, I can say most of the time I DON'T want to be there, and most of the people I encounter, I honestly couldn't care less if I ever see again, and it's exhausting when I'm forced to pretend to be this unsinkable rubber duck of happiness and optimism I'm actually not because that's what management mistakenly assumes all the customers want. Also, when men I don't know tell me to smile, it doesn't make me want to smile. It makes me want to punch them. I can manage my own facial expressions, thank you very much. What I choose to do with my face is none of your business, and I don't give a flying rat's ass how you feel about that. I'll smile when I feel like it, and at no other time, and I'm not here to decorate your life, *sir*.

well said

EmileeArsenic fucking thank you I would love most of those people to get paid 7.25 and to be a bullet proof punching bag. I've had managers flat out ask why I wasn't displaying a happy demeanor after having my ass reamed for my shift supervisors incompetence

It's a good way to start

Ivan Boyraz aye, I agree

BadBoy_____17 wow I don't hear that often, thanks!

Ivan Boyraz That's stupid ..it's like you say 'Want to work out with a black guy because it's refreshing'

Climber what you're saying is nonsence.

Sarah V - and it's probably shameless, thanks, what was I thinking!

Now being nice is my prblm

This is a terrible message, only an asshole would like this message, his tone is frickin condescending SMH

It's an upper class English thing. It's them not you.

@@kimkaragiannis848 I totally agree. You are so right and I love your name.

Because they're shitty qualities. Buy a mirror and get over yourself.

How did you know/come up with these "nuggets" of rhetorical BS?

deep

i disagree

Alan Watts lectures is where I got the black without white bit. how can anything exist without a contrast?

+Aaron Walker are you experimenting with over-unfriendliness?

People from other countries honestly don't always have as open and friendly always smiling type of whatever culture we have here in the US. Someone from Russia can come here and take it that Americans are either always happy, or always disingenous/dishonest or think they want something from you because they are not used to freindly people. Being overly friendly is just part of some peoples culture or subculture, I know plenty of friendly people who would disagree with someone once they say something negative or if they start acting like a cynical little cunt. He should do a video about the problem with cynical cunts who want to change overly friendly overly optimistic people. Have a nice day!

I'm not going to pass up on the opportunity to befriend you. Let's be friends. In all seriousness, being yourself is what matters most. You don't need to be hostile to attract people's attention. If people can't accept your positive outlook, just move on. There must be some other people who would appreciate you for who you are. Chances are, if you change yourself for others, you'll feel rather shitty. Not worth it. "I hate that I used ..." - See? You don't need to be "insecure" just because you used a pronoun to make your point. You've simply shared your personal experience with others.

You look like you like to talk a lot about yourself thats why people probably avoid you.

You could write a novel about how perfect you are and how stupid these people around you for all your life. Hmm.

Christina Wolfle you sound like an empathy, your truly a wonderful person.

You’re just like me 😭

@@Matthew-fj6eu it's a struggle 😢

@Pujan Dhungana sure 😊😊😊🌹

Some cashiers will act friendly to try to get you store credit, but that will often get you in debt so is not necessarily doing you any favor.

hydrolito dude whos talking about business and customer service staff? Im talking about people you meet at social gatherings and public places where people come to socialise. What you described isnt a social interaction, its just a service.

ScaryMissKippy try mediatation for 10 mins for a week and convince your self that theres no fucking thing that matters and just use "who cares"+ try to find the comedian inside you believe me

this video thinks every thing he says is fact, but it is just his opinion. I agree with you.

I agree too, the reason I go out of my way to be friendly with everyone I meet is because I was such an outsider growing up. When I see sad broken people I just want them to know it's gonna be ok, or least it might well be, and it'd be a damn sight easier if as least one person can be nice to them. This video fails to understand how shitty some people's lives might be, and how they might consciously choose optimism to get through it.

But you are using your experiences and insight to act around people, in the video they talked about how a type overly pleasing people is not really listening at all, and sacrifice their own opinions and experiences agreeing with people when they don't really mean it

ScaryMissKippy Then you don't seem to realize that what they're saying is 99% of the time a lie, and that you're in desperate need of attention if you truly want to make yourself the center of everything. It's true that over-friendly people might just want you to like them, but you guys who enjoy being with them are just as, if not more responsible. _You_ are the problem. Living a life like that, one where you must feel good, is pretty sad.

Douglas Wentworth I totally agree.

This is actually a little bit deep which is very odd for a youtube video but it's still in the wrong direction or at least from a distorted perspective of a truth which makes it one of the best videos on youtube

Yep. I clicked on this with the hope that I'd found another channel similar to Domics. Unfortunately I got some ham-fisted, quasi-PSA with narration that sounds a bit like those creepy guided meditation recordings stating some rather obvious psychological reasons behind common behavior. I'm still wondering what I just watched and what this video was supposed to accomplish in the first place.

Talkative people lie alot

cassandra cleland ... haha... not only over think, but attribute attitudes and motivations, that simply aren't there!

cassandra cleland Brilliant! Thank you.

for all those who follow this channel, made me smile thank you

Me tbh

cassandra cleland No kidding! “Over” agreeing sometimes is a result of being afraid to offend someone. Just treat the super friendly person kindly and help them out if you see people taking advantage of them.

mienbao exactly

I disagree

They're trying at their expense. I wouldn't want a person to permain in that state, not just because it prevents them from actually recognising themselves as a person, but also because they'd approve/condone the wrong things just out of fear of saying no. And nobody is criticising genuinely nice people. I fail to see why you bring them into discussion. This is about OVERLY friendly people. As in EXCESSIVELY friendly. TOO friendly. I don't know how clearer can this be put.

I'd rather be around someone who isn't trying. Because even if they aren't trying, it doesn't mean they're going to be a mean or bad person. They'll just be themselves, which is more than can be said about the overly-friendly.

mienbao iii

You need me? I´m there for you ;) I wish there would be more people like you.Everyone is sayin I´m ''too nice''.Idk why this over-friendlyness should be something bad.I'm always optimistic ,but if I have to be real : There are so frkn many egoistic ,selfish ,sad and rude people.I could be their rainbow in their cloudy days.Some people love and appreciate this - other's don't

I00IIpo0oop Heyy 😄

I00IIpo0oop Hiya!!! Hahaha!

WHAT UP? :D

There's nothing wrong with being friendly and positive. This video uses the wrong word when it says "friendly", it actually means agreeableness. The only thing that matters is you're being genuine, and overly agreeable people are often not genuine but instead hurt themselves in the name of people pleasing

Agree. I believe that speaking reasonable truthful positivity into someone's day could affect how they act toward other drivers on the road and how they treat their family when they get home. People ache for just a little validation---(not talking about narcissists needing supply)---just what they taught us in psychology class...unconditional positive regard. It's a a basic healthy part of being in a community. That is all.

@@degenkami2933 this whole channel has a terrible problem with definitions in general

The truth is, not everyone see the world in a positive way. I myself is someone who view the world in a fairly negative way and when someone spew bullshit like "Life is beautiful and worth living" stuff I'm like "Yeah yeah sure whatever"

Just wanna say that if you keep complimenting on someone on things that aren't true or less important (ex: your umbrella is sooo pretty!!! omg your keychain is adorable!! x50 times a day) then your compliments will not only loose meaning but your friend will think you're complimenting them just for your own personal gain. I don't know if you've met a person like this, but they're usually annoying and it feels like they're manipulating you. Be honest but understanding, don't be too brutal but do not compliment someone on everything they have and do. It doesn't feel good in the long run for them or for you.

SAiKA It's a ridiculous premise. It seems to be suggesting to "overly- friendly failures" to keep on serving the needs of more selfish and emotionally-needy people but by becoming co-dependent on their moods or whims...somehow. Nice people are nice because that's what they themselves prefer. And those decisions are more valid for them than this type of "advice," as they should be.

SAiKA I think if you don't understand the topic, you don't have to compliment at all.

SAiKA+ I am introverted and tend to be very quiet and brooding, and sometimes, when I am lost in thought, people assume I am sad or in need of cheering up. When an over-friendly stranger approaches with unsolicited compliments or platitudes to "cheer me up", it usually has the opposite effect of making me happy. I feel like it is presumptuous and condescending, and rather embarrassing at times when they call public attention to me when I'm trying to keep to myself. This goes for amateur life coaches, pick-up artists, and matchmakers as it does for the overly-friendly. We all have a different scale of happiness, and our own path to walk in life, and it can be very annoying when people insist on peer pressuring others to follow their lead, because who the fuck do THEY think they are? If I was meant to be happy and surrounded by friends, I wouldn't have been born to a dysfunctional family and bullied at school and work unrelentingly. Fuck people, fuck forcing happiness, I just want to read books and die alone somewhere moderately cozy.

I'll tell you what your real problem is... You are needy. You seek friendship because you are desperately lonely. However most people hate needy people... If you continue being needy you'll only suffer. The only way to overcome this is by seeing others in a more negative light, put yourself in higher regard, don't go around ass kissing everybody. Just say to yourself "I don't need anything"

yeah its so annoying

@@owlani3950 so if Someone too kind. They dumb

It's usually true

@@Nokss87 I disagree. I usually means that they are naive and think others are just as kind as them.

@@owlani3950 What's annoying? Are you guys saying that being overfriendly is dumb or what ? I don't understand?

iamjohnporter67 hope things have turned around for you!

I am helpful, caring, kind but I have found out the hard way That so many people are Manipulators, takers, lying Charming users. So I pick My friends very carefully. If I do something nice for Someone whether they ask Or not and they don’t thank Me - that tells me and all of You that thankless person Does not appreciate my Sweetness and giving nature.’ And I am dealing with a User and dangerous manipulator.

Stay away sweet people from Dangerous, charming manipulators. They will Take everything you have Even your sanity and self Esteem. Don’t trust everything Someone tells you about Themselves. Do your research About this person before you Give them your money, kindness. Get a cat or dog It’s seems much safer than Humanoids.

RooFooChoo I don't know why people are so unaccustomed to positivity that when it is encountered more often than not it is viewed as false, deceptive and malicious. Really you just need to learn how to make conversations flow, there is no topic too bright nor too dark for the skilled orator.

Kiyomi Nikuramik

+princessoflife868 You missed the point of that comment... yeah?

***** In my opinion, I'd rather have a friend who tells me about their problems than a friend whom I have no personal connection with. Of course, lines are always crossed and friendship is lost, one way or another. Believe me, I've had my share of complaining friends, I try to be direct, however.

yes, but it gets boring and it can sound fake at times.

Yes, the planet needs kind people! :-)

kenzie kuhn Yes, please do! I am right here with you.

same .

I want a kind girl like you

being kind and over-freidnly are two very different things

you shouldn't feel forced to be friendly out of fear of the other person not liking you, or how they react if you say what you mean. Or afraid to share your own knowledge. there were other things, in this video he was in no way saying how you should be an asshole though, just how to become a more likeable, balanced, interactive person, rather than a peoples pleaser

@@Andreabay90 very true!

Mjolnor He just laughs a lot but I wouldn't say he's necessarily overfriendly. Do you know someone who you have a greeting with that makes you laugh? You probably don't dislike that person...

I think he can be considered by some to be fake, but he is only trying to make his guests comfortable - suppose that goes back to what Botton is saying about the over friendly having the best of intentions..

Fluxquark Perhaps, though the characteristics that were discussed in the video coincide with most of the criticisms leveled at Jimmy Fallon.

All TV show hosts, unless the issue is about national policy Except a few people like Jimmy Fallon

I can relate to this. The Bible says to love others as yourself but I don’t love my self at all.

At 33, I’m still trying to know myself/love myself

If u dont know yourself how can u love your neighbor

Friendship is very complicated

@@sachab6098 Friendship is very simple actually. Friendship occurs when two people resonate with eachother, when they understand eachother... Because that allows them to interact with eachother without fear or anxiety... It allows you to disagree on things, and still be on the same page, and still be friends, etc... It allows you to make jokes in a safe environment, etc... Conclusively, it allows you to be social, AND free, simultaneously. You can't really resonate with anyone, if all you do is try to cater to a romanticized fantasy of a person (Let's call it a strawman) you aren't bothering to understand due to being distracted by said strawman. That just means you're kinda disconnected from reality, and nobody can really resonate with that, not even people who are also disconnected from reality, because each persons fantasy is wildly different. :P My advice, live in the real world, and be yourself, regardless of what people think of you. Another advice, it's better to have 1 best-friend, than a bunch of shallow friends.

Only you can make friendship complicated.

Overly-nice people have a problem forming significant friendships. It's hard for them to get past simple compliments and small talk, because their entire personality is constructed to seem like someone you might want to be friends with, not someone you could actually form a significant, fulfilling friendship with.

As a pretty cynical person internally I generally do over analyze people's speech patterns as well as typing patterns. I do this to protect myself from what I have observed as 'fakers'. I do however have a very good friend who has those moments of constantly agreeing with me and because I know how she normally is, annoys me to no end, but I wouldn't go talking about her poorly behind her back. In my group of friends we do make fun of each other as a way of having fun with each other we never mean for it to hurt in any way and will always let you know. I personally think my bluntness has rubbed off on some of them. I know I have written a lot here, I just wanted to let you know that if you're being sincere then you have nothing to worry about, and if I knew you personally would never treat you the way your previous 'friends' had, you just gotta find the right people! I do wish you the best of luck, just open up and never be afraid of disapproval, you can never please everyone and should never think you should! Most people wont deserve your time!

Equinauht Aggressive types need to have "nicer" types to be aggressive towards. Other aggressives certainly won't cooperate, lol. The problem is that "nice" doesn't mean "passive" or "weak" or that one is desperate for approval, though there are people like that, of course. "Nice" is fine as long as the person is good to himself or herself, too.

Well that’s not what he’s saying at all

I already am

good❤️

No, it means your mind is more evolved. Most opinions are useless and we see that. Less talk, more action, little humans.

But think of it like this. Being able to see the point of view of everyone is itself your point of view. It's a valuable ability, it demonstrates an open and empathetic mind, and the world needs people like you to share your thoughts about why multiple points of view have merit.

Epik Hell Sword it’s different, the Fake people are assholes. The type of people that are nice to you but then talk about you behind your back. This person is just insecure and scared of being thought of weird or left out. Fake people talk about me all the time. I’ve even developed depression and social anxiety because I feel so alone and I feel like everyone hates me. I guess my mental issues made me over friendly.

Epik Hell Sword Uh... there's a difference between fake self serving nice and overly friendliness due to social anxiety. it's not like this isn't a common issue with young people to some degree. A lot of people have issues with socializing and they have fears like that, which keep them from acting natural. However some people don't know how to handle it, and want to keep the peace as much as possible causing them to be too extra cause they're scared. Thats not necessarily fake.....

Tete Cortez preacch 👏👏 ignorant people. fukin trash em in your mind but expend as little energy as possible with being cordial or don't talk to them.

Meaning it has worked. That is the job of philosophy, revealing us to ourself...which is always confronting and hence uncomfortable.

Randomroutine no. ur awkward.

dj nineseven ya i felt fine watching it

hello over-friendly person Will you be my friend? I need hugs.

+Randomroutine I TOTALLY COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU

This video only addresses it from the perspective of the person who isn't overly friendly, which kind of makes them out to be a bit of an ass. In fact, in one part of the video they address making the "wrong compliments" is offensive because it's too shallow and doesn't cater to what they care about. I have many friends who are autistic and I see them do things they think are really nice and maybe I don't appreciate it as much as I would something else, but I recognize their effort and know they have difficulty with social interactions so I look completely past it.

There's a difference between putting people down and speaking truth bluntly.

The thing I didn't like about this video was that it was one-sided and put a bad light on people who are overly-friendly rather than addressing other issues such as social pressure, anxiety and depression. How about we twist this to another point of view. People who are offended and annoyed at overly-friendly people are intolerant people who are too self-absorbed and dimwitted to understand that people have different ways of reacting to situations and relating with others.

HeadstrongHarpy I don't know whether you noticed, but I was being sarcastic and mocking the tone of the video. You can do whatever you'd like.

@HeadstrongHarpy Word. If it changes anything, I have anxiety, I've had depression, and so and so. You don't see me crying about it. I understand overly friendly people, I've been one. It's a very shitty defence mechanism/cry for help. The only person who can help you is you. Others can just inspire you, that's all. It's just too easy to victimise yourself when you're an overly friendly person, and that'll only do you wrong in the long run.

I am not religious but I agree with almost everything you’ve said here. This is a very mature way of looking at the world, imo

Honestly the most beautiful comment ever ❤ thank you

I am glad I found you here, sister.

LMFAO, so true!

Actually, this world rewards psychopaths. Nice people get walked over and other psychopaths admire other psychopaths.

@@TheOutsider69 OMG so totally true. I'm researching this subject right now because of a story in David Foster Wallace's book The Pale King. I made three videos about that subject. Here is my last one. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-7zwEZxR0VpA.html

Can you elaborate on that?

Charm and amicability are too vague and unreliable to be applied in every social situation, or to endorse the former and dismiss the latter. Over friendly people suffer more from a lack of patience and experience.

Charming people don't take themselves seriously. They flirt with everyone with no expectation of getting a date or sex. They use words in a playful or creative way. The difference between a charming person and a socially awkward person on how they use words are akin to the difference between words used in an instruction manual and those used in a novel.

Ironmantis25 If you are comparing the way charming people use words to novels you should know that they both often use exaggerted and warped truths to appeal to their reader or company.Furthermore I would say the way someone socially awkward uses words is more akin to a play, where there is a lucid distinction between their words, actions and thoughts(lines, stage diections and asides hiding true motives and expressing false ones) and a strong distinction between themselves and others even in shared conversations and opinions which often have them switching between extreme moods as soon as it ends or another begins(exaggerated approval or disapproval that makes them untrustworthy as well as inconsistent behaviour outside conversation) and how the focus is so centrered on the current conversation and event that an air of tension makes the distinction between actor and character eduringly apparent(the weight or significance of every word and conversation being so stressful that speech sounds regurgitated and expression appears mimicked). In the end both the charming and the socially awkard, like the prose and the play, try so hard to entertain their reader or audience that they struggle to get their honest point across and are both susceptible to misinterpretation. Charming embellishment and rehearsed character can never convey the truth, however both could learn from a more "manual" mindset that can portray a desire and opinion that is both concise and precise.

Ironmantis25 If you are comparing the way charming people use words to novels you should know that they both often use exaggerted and warped truths to appeal to their reader or company.Furthermore I would say the way someone socially awkward uses words is more akin to a play, where there is a lucid distinction between their words, actions and thoughts(lines, stage diections and asides hiding true motives and expressing false ones) and a strong distinction between themselves and others even in shared conversations and opinions which often have them switching between extreme moods as soon as it ends or another begins(exaggerated approval or disapproval that makes them untrustworthy as well as inconsistent behaviour outside conversation) and how the focus is so centrered on the current conversation and event that an air of tension makes the distinction between actor and character eduringly apparent(the weight or significance of every word and conversation being so stressful that speech sounds regurgitated and expression appears mimicked). In the end both the charming and the socially awkard, like the prose and the play, try so hard to entertain their reader or audience that they struggle to get their honest point across and are both susceptible to misinterpretation. Charming embellishment and rehearsed character can never convey the truth, however both could learn from a more "manual" mindset that can portray a desire and opinion that is both concise and precise.

I don't think over-friendliness is a flaw. In fact, people often compliment on it and tell me they admire me for this trust. You shouldn't try to change it, otherwise it'll come off awkward

People are too jaded to believe a person is being sincerely nice to them, I think. I feel bad for them. Being that distrusting of everyone must be hard!

No dont get it mixed up tsol is just using the term "over-friendliness" or i.e also trying to extrapolate it to observable social phenomenon that is why registering that under a such a such blanket term. What it really refers here is people who have trouble being themselves.

Neverthless, you're damn lucky to be this way. Its really not easy to trust people especially if you're the sensitive kind. Btw your comment helped. Thanks!

If you are not in fact being fake and just coming off fake, I’m sure sooner or later people who actually take the effort to get to know you will realize and understand you mean everything you say. I hope you find and can surround yourself by those people!

Because there always will be. A Utopia is irrelevant, I guess.

no name filmmaker Thank you. Problems never go away - they just change.

Its human condition, a middle ground is really hard to find for anybody, its not about "finding problems", but more about acknowledging them. acting as if everything was always okay isn't normal, because it's not the case, for anybody.

Everything that can function can dysfunction. Being friendly is fine when you just happen to be friendly, it becomes a problem when you do that to cope with feelings of insecurity. Then it becomes desperate. The motive, not the behavior, is what makes it dysfunctional

"the problem with too many problems"- 2016

scott Johnson This video was really bad. He forgets that overly nice people are a godsend. It's fake overly nice people which (I never met one) that this guy should talk about.

Isaias Saravia Buendia Overly nice people are not a "godsend". They are the most irritable people to deal with as they push and shove their way in trying ever so desperately for your approval/friendship and honestly, all it does is make me despise them even more

Seven Sins But those aren't nice people You called them something different like every other person that's made the same mistake. That mistake is to call something "Overly nice". As "the most irritable, people" Nice people don't agree to everything that is a big mistake. Only non-social people *think* they know people. Only social people can know people. That's a reason why this video connects with anti-social people or sometimes lonely people.

Only anti social people think they know people? You realize people arent born anti social correct? That it happens through a series of events? Anti social people do know people because we've dealt with them

Seven Sins If you can deal with people That's social; if you can't then that means you can't deal with people. That's an anti-social trait. (anti socials aren't born, But anti social traits can be gotten from anti social behavior.) Anti-socials can't deal with people doesn't matter what kind of people they are. "nice, happy, kind, considerate, smiley, and strangers." The inability to deal with people is an anti-social trait I know it because I was anti social before.

be who you are!! we always need more positive people. if they don’t like your friendliness then you don’t need them.

yeah fuck math this is the stuff that really matters.

It's simple Logic 101... A friend in need is a friend indeed, lesson complete+ Extra credit = While in a crisis, someone barely social shows up because now one's desperate and talks your head off.

This teaching starts at home

Mrs C Yes, but you can’t really guarantee that every family is equal and teaches these kind of things. It isn’t fair, because it isn’t the fault of the child, but the parents. The child doesn’t choose how their parents act. So to counter this unequalness, is that schools should also teach these kind of things in school.

@@tawana251 I really think any parents who gives birth to kids should all go to parent school and be check up on each year to see whether their kids are properly being treated.

The Key of Ember very underrated comment

The Key of Ember i have anxiety and i DO NOT use a facade in order to be "liked" by others. Cut off your bs

Pika Bolado We believe you, but you dont speak for everyone. Both ADD and anxiety comes in many forms and treated differently by different people.

Pika Bolado that's YOU though. Doesnt make it bs BC others do it. Also, here's a cookie. 🍪🙄

You are a sad human being... Also, extremely insecure with who you are.

That's true also and I've met people male and female who are exactly like this. They're very insecure, very anxious types and stubborn to all other things.. They're over friendliness is quite sickening and to me that's a weakness as it looks false and too contrived. Everybody calm down in the comments section as it's the truth and u know it. U just don't want to admit it cause it hurts.

@@SlXkxmx How u judge others is how u look at urself. Ur insecure and as it was pointed out in this section it hit a bit of a raw nerve within u. So this person's honesty after watching this video sparked an honest response they decided to say it here. But as u disagree ur ignoring the real element to please as u probably do in ur life you are in fact the insecure one. Get real honey!

@@P.willow one bullet its dune on to the next hot topic get them views

I am the opposite. I am distant and quite because I was rejected and do not want it to happen again. You can not be rejected if you stay away from others.

awww... HUG @ endearing friendly machine :}

beginning same here. i lost all my closest friend because im such a people pleaser. i guess people hate overly agreeing person. its okay to curse at them or be honest at them. but idk hurting people kinda hurt my feelings too.

For only a year or two ? I been like that for my whole life.

I went on foreign exchange and completely lost myself by being in your exact same situation. So much so, that I completely forgot who I was and I felt like no one knew my true self, especially me. I felt like a pawn, that people would use for their own needs, instead of truly caring about mine. It was hard to escape from and I’m working on it every day. It just felt like I lost my mind for a while, going on auto pilot and I never hated myself so much.

@@Magicalgiraffeofdoom I relate so much to that part about feeling like a pawn. I couldn't express myself so I ended up feeling miserable and lonely and pushing people away. I don't know if I should go back and explain myself and attempt to mend the relationships I burned. Idk if they would understand.

The trouble is we're all conditioned in western society to be suspicious. Everywhere you go someone is trying to sell you something, a product, an idea, a system, so our knee-jerk response is: "What are you after?" "What do you want from me?"

unless they like eat people then we should probably tell them how to live their lives

keegan bourne because feedback isn't a good thing, amirite?

i know right? let people murder, rape and steal all they want. Fuck you society for wanting to force us to not act on those impulses.

Well nobody's forcing you. People come to videos like these for advice or entertainment, or just pure curiosity and are free to disagree and disobey as much as they want, and hopefully use their own common sense and experience a bit even when it contradicts whoever they listen to. The video itself is not a problem

I'm confused as to why this comment was written. To my knowledge, there is nobody saying "you must live in this exact way" in this video. This is purely looking at reasons why a certain type of people are disliked by a large amount of people. Also, here's a scenario and I want to see how you'd react to it: In this scenario, you have a really big problem that you never are able to notice by yourself that everyone else laughs at and ridicules you over. Would you rather have one friend who would never tell you about it and be extremely nice all the time and constantly agree with you and compliment you or would you rather have a friend who would tell you about this problem and offer solutions on how to fix it and tell you that the problem makes them think more negatively of you? I would personally much rather the latter but I am curious as to what you would prefer given what was written in this comment.

But if you always agree to someone no matter what to be kind your to friendly because you can't say no

Sosa Wallace That's not being too friendly. That's looking for acceptance and to fit in. When being overly friendly, most times they're genuinely just really nice n friendly happy ppl. This video like most I've tried to watch, is WAAAAY of...

thats me also.... i disagree but other person just go "but..... " i say "well... thats also not how i view it" and he goes again "but....".... thats where i stop... is that being too friendly?

then don't make a scene. disagreement is healthy because opposing arguments are a way to find new truths. If someone wants to blow it up, don't be friends with that person, they are toxic thinkers....

Back and forth bullshit is what drives me. As long as you and your partner in bullshit start with the prerequisite that nothing is taken personally. Then you can have an entirely rhetorical arguement about total crap.

I think that is kind of the point of overly-friendly people--they are incredibly insecure. They cloak their feelings because they are too afraid of them. They agree with everyone because they can't bear the thought of being unliked by anyone. It's not a surprise at all, really...

all the overly friendly people I know have weird distorted beliefs and honestly if you're friends with them they will make fun of everything and will not take anything seriously it's a hit or miss personality you can tolerate it if you understand not to take anything they say personally but it's really hard to understand when they are actually being serious it's like hitting a landmine that's invisible that makes you feel terrible about yourself

Assuming you're a girl, A over-friendly friend It's the same as those needy guys who will flatter you 24/7 saying the same scripted bullcrap in order to gain your attention. And thats really, really annoying.

It doesn't seem surprising that they're insecure. That seems like a logical conclusion. I don't think they mean that they are stupid. The problem is wether you are being friendly because you are just a friendly person or because you use it to cope with something, that's what makes it sort of desperate and compulsive. They don't really want to be nice, it's like they have to be in order to feel okay. It's one more coping strategy for an abusive or neglectful household.

@monkeytime: I don't know... a lot of you are being really inflexible about all the ways in which a person can be. I'm also someone who finds more meaning in something when it's not said just for the sake of praising, etc, but I mean, I don't see why it's so unbelievable that you can have both really cool, secure people who are over-friendly and really cool, secure people who are not over-friendly. And you can have bad people who are/aren't over-friendly. This idea that "certain personalities must mean you are bad at x, y, z," are honestly really closed-minded. You take one particular narrative, of how a person could self-destruct by being over-friendly, and then try to apply that to every over-friendly situation, except that every individual has their own unique story with so many nuances. There are so many ways in which people can excel, and it kind of insults the complexity of humanity to think that there are one or two outcomes destined for a certain personality trait, when really, there are hundreds of possible outcomes depending on countless other factors. For example, even if you take 10 people who seem to have very similar personality traits, even they could have very different stories about how they coped with their specific problems. It's kind of insensitive to just take your common conception of a certain personality trait and think you can predict or determine what their life was like.

I think the trouble with overly friendly people is that, sure, many people will like them, but at the same time very few will truly love them. Moreover, i'm experiencing myself that being genuinly friendly all the time costs loads of energy. Basicly, when your overfriendly, you're not managing your energy effectively. In the end these two things can ruin ones chances for happiness.

Yeah I see what you mean there and have felt that way. There was a long period of time where I was uncomfortable with myself and people around me and I forced being nice in order to please people, but when I focused on finding out who I was and what I was comfortable with, being nice and happy to people just started to come naturally without taking any energy. After I was comfortable with myself being nice was just like a natural laugh or smile after a good joke, rather than a forced one which takes an immense amount of energy. Crazy the amount of difference a change in perspective can make.

Buhllake YES!!! you just spoke my soul 🙌

Sorry thought I said that there were two kinds and I understood that on a personal level, but maybe I could have worded it better. Seemed like a misunderstanding in communication. I just think that the unhealthy overly friendliness and the healthy one often get confused because someone who is healthy can be even more energetic and friendly than the other and it becomes hard to differentiate them. It seems that maybe its easier to believe someone is unhealthy and forcing something which is possible but not the case all the time, and from my experience its not the case most of the time. The two are just judged both as negative and assumed to both be needing and wanting or in need of help when its often not true. Basically what I was trying to say is that the negative side seems to be assumed almost all the time on nearly all levels of a person being friendly for seemingly no reason. They probably have their reasons, or they just are nice people and want to spread it around a bit. I understand what the whole over friendly diagnosis is, I just think it gets confused with people that naturally display that level of friendliness far too often. Really it comes down to the person or individuals decision. If their overly friendliness causes them distress than its a problem, but thats up to them to decide, and not to be assumed by others as always being a problem.

Will you please support my channel? I am a very positive and friendly person, but people tend to avoid that positivism.

Nur Ishenaly I personally love how you hold your fork.

ö. can maybe she really thinks you are perfect.

Hails

Wow! That's some power

Wait... so I am actually a normal person? Fair enough.

Look at you

Well aintcha just dandy! You are an ‘outlier’ of social norms. No shade just that overwhelming majority need and want friends.... also talking about over complicated social rules that you so flippantly tossed aside, believe it or not is a skill that needs to be honed and humans SURPRISE SURPRISE 🎉🎊 are a complicated mess.

eliza I resonate with your theory. I imagine overly-friendly individuals are high in both extroversion and neuroticism

James Côté using long words doesn’t make you sound smart

James Côté as a very friendly person (I think. I really don’t know because I’m not someone else), it’s more of a fear of loneliness than neuroticism. I hate the idea of people hating me because I have a lot of trauma of abuse in my past. It’s hard for me to grasp that people who don’t like me don’t necessarily want to hurt me...

PwettieUnOrignal I get that. I think most of us do. Except the video guy, lol.

i feel the same way,im only being myself but if the person doesn't know me well , its just awkward i think most think im fake or wanting something from them. but im not,i was this way as a child and i cant help it,ive even tried to mske an effort to simply be cool,but thats fake for me. i received a mark for TALKS TOO MUCH throughout elementary school,i wanted to be everyones friend.

if you give a girl a rose it will mean a lot to her. if you give every girl a rose-well it doesent mean anything anymore. mostly you will be seen a akward

Sarah Lorenz But how would she feel if they gave a rose to everyone *except* her...? Aha! :D

No :3

Sarah Lorenz or you'll make every girl happy for a moment, if they like flowers, that is. Wanting exclusivity in everything to be able to be satisfied is very selfish

exploring vampire personally, I only accept a compliment from someone who knows me well. Otherwise, it's not genuine.

Dont change yourself for others.

Mallory Fry Most people can't handle appreciation and kindness, that's why people think you have some kind of bad attention behind. Yes, I feel triggered about this video. But only because it's total bullshit what they're saying. And from a psychological standpoint it doesn't make any sense.