Projection at its finest; not surprising in the slightest given his history with his mother. That man's sense of reality is warped. Hearing him actually makes me sick.
@@sudegok1027I dont think its correct to say most parents are abusive. I work in a kindergarten I have to say I have seen amazing parents. Many parents specially the younger ones are frustrated and somehow psychologically abuse the kids. But not all. Some people really prepared themselves so well for parenthood and are doing a great job
I think this guy is for sure misusing and misinterpreting some psychological knowledge he may have learnt. But it is true that when you are overly attached to your father, as a woman, that creates a blockage for any man you are with. Same happen with man if they are overly attached to their mother. Its like... You meed to let go a bit of your parents internally to have healthy romantic relationships. Doesnt matter the age, some people didnt dot that even in their 60s
listening to him counsel suicidal individuals or women who suffered sexual abuse (in some cases incest sexual assault) brings out the most cringiest anxiety I've ever felt
Thank you for what you do. It may not be portrayed here, but let’s not leave out the men. 😉 My PTSD from multiple incidents of same-sex SA, including multiple r@pes, took down my law career. But thanks to caring professional people like you, I’m a survivor and no longer a victim. I’ve accomplished much for my self-esteem by helping others in early retirement. You can’t just sit and wallow; sometimes silver linings have to be mined, too. Finding the energy and will to do that alone can be overwhelming. Bless you. ❤️👍💪
@@whatifschrodingersboxwasacofin thank you for saying so. It sounds like you have managed to take a negative energy and turn it into something really positive for you, which is a really brave and difficult thing to do, well done!
@@alexanderadavar6439 One day at a time, just like everyone else. ☺️ Thanks so much for replying - it warms my heart when I know my compliments penetrated all the chatter.
I didn't realize it until decades later, but Tony Robbins may have single handedly ruined my life. When I was a child my single mom listened to Tony Robbins very often. As a result, my mental health medications and some light tutoring/therapy were replaced with a bunch of self-help nonsense. This, in return led to extremely poor grades (And eventually dropping out), self-blaming and extremely low self esteem, clinical depression, and multiple suicide attempts. Finally as an adult I'm coming to terms with the fact that a lot of my previous failings had more to do with my untreated mental illness and lack of familial support rather than "Not trying hard enough" or simply "Being too stupid", and I'm doing quite well now that I am in therapy and on the correct medications. Thanks for nothing Tony.
Tony Robbins thinks people fake all their mental problems for attention. He’s against all medication, which leads to worse mental health for a lot of his fans.
I'm sorry to hear that. I feel that Tony has alot of bypassy bullshit that might work for some people, but for alot it's just motivation porn and toxic positivity that just invalidates and shames severe trauma responses.
I'm a psychologist who specializes in trauma and I had to take breaks while watching this. What he is saying to these women and men is sick. Also, smiling when talking about something vulnerable and emotional is not a sign of manipulation. It is a common, automatic reaction to strong emotions of any kind.
As a man and a psychology student, what Tony is telling people is shameful. Tony needs some counselling himself. His constant need to blame women instinctively seems to be a pattern that Tony needs to look at. He is lacking any objectivity whatsoever. Tony seems like the last person any man or woman should be taking advice from.
I've always had difficulties managing my anxiety, so I smile ALL THE TIME (doesn't matter if I'm angry or sad or happy or worried), I smile and laugh almost every time I'm put under pressure and have done it ever since I was a child; yeah, I know it's not ideal, but I hate when people just assume I'm lying or trying to get something out of the situation, like no dude I'm actually an anxiety-filled human who doesn't need to also deal with your bs lol
We all have that one amazing hair day between our haircuts where we feel real good about our hair. Yours just means you're an asshole until your next cut :)
Basically if you're a perfect woman you wouldn't be at the event at all because you'd be too busy caring for your man and not having opinions because opinions and experiences are too masculine or something.
Holy shit that’s disgusting. When a woman has a real problem it always goes back to her wanting attention, but when a man is a serial cheater he actually loves her and is a great man deep down. The woman must be doing something wrong, of course!
@@reis5011 I can see one thing being good about televised tackling of mental health issues is taking away the stigma surrounding it ofcourse I at least have never seen anything that haven't that does that and instead seems to reinforce lot of the stigma of mental health issues, I don't know for certain how true this story is since my mom and dad have been at each others throats since I was 3 and they split, but my mom have said pretty much all my life she things I have autism but no investigation on that was made, when asked about it she says dad didn't wanna sign the papers to do a deeper dig becose he thought that would make it impossible for me to get a job as an adult become I would essentially be marked as stupid, seeing his behaviour today (I'm 24) about me finally getting to do a mental disorder investigation next month, and been diagnosed whit depression, well lets just say he is less then helpfull about it, he tries and I know he cares about me so I don't resent for it but there is some clear stigma at least in the older generations oh and just for clarity, I live in sweden
As an Italian woman I had to stop the video and take a minute when the footage from the Italian seminar was played. "An Italian man that sleeps around and that's not a normal thing?" "Is that not a pattern in the culture?" Feminicide is a huge issue in Italy, a woman dies at the hands of a partner or loved one roughly every three days. "Romanticising" the idea of the "Italian stallion" and pretending that women don't deserve the respect of their partners plays a role in painting women as submissive and serves to justify the actions of the men that slaughter them.
as an italian man i was genuinely shocked during that segment. It's already weird that the stereotype of the italian stallion was brought up at all, much less that it was brought up to excuse a man cheating 3 times on his pregnant wife who he knows was abused and had her child stripped from her???? my guy said "boys will be boys" in a way thats somehow worse than just saying "boys will be boys"
@@luizmonad777 imo not exactly single mother houses, but more a lack of Positive, healthy male role models for young boys. A single parent can successfully raise their child, as long as that child has positive adult role models of each gender, such as a teacher, coach, aunt, etc. but that’s just my opinion.
My dad is a huge Tony Robbins fan and it definitely ran over into my life. During my parents’ divorce and ever since, all I’ve heard about is how women need a man who’s strong, a real man, and how women need to be feminine and vulnerable to attract caretaker qualities from their men. It’s kind of insane how much Tony has been a part of my life, my dating experiences, and even who I am today. Unfortunately so.
Thing is I actually have seen happy marriages that way however Tony completely omits the key part that makes such marriages work: Responsibility. If a wife submits himself to a husband that husband is now responsible to protect her and open up to her. He needs to tone down his domination and invite her to voice her opinion as she handed that responsibility over to him. I actually do think an unequal power relationship can work sometimes but that only is the case if the dominant one feels a sense of responsibility. This is the case with any case of unequal power like governments too. The key is accountability and responsibility. If you are above someone that does not entitle you to do what you want. The reverse even, it restricts you to only act in a responsible way and to be held accountable if you don't. If you have a submissive wife that also means you also need to take responsibility for her and need to be held accountable for the stuff she does. If you don't like that then don't have a submissive wife. A balanced and responsible man can have a discipline on his wife and function perfectly well but that's not what Tony is teaching. He is teaching an unhinged and entitled man who thinks his wife is a tool to get what he wants and that he can get all the benefits from domination without any of the accountability of being responsible for her.
@@MrMarinus18 My guy, you're just talking about BDSM. And, like all things, BDSM works great if all participants respect and communicate with one another.
@@Spamhard It's not that black and white and the appeal from BDSM doesn't just come out of nowhere. It is engrained in the nature of humans and has been a standard part of culture for most of history.
@@MrMarinus18 Disagree. If you're literally going to the point of a relationship where you expect one party to be more subserviant and submissive, and one more dominant, then you need to have clear boundaries, rules and agreements in place to avoid it being abusive. BDSM isn't about sex, it's about safe agreements between two parties. This is exactly the sort of thing.
Tony seems to like the, "crush women's self worth and self esteem so that they feel they should be grateful that their abuser is with them," approach to gaslighting. I can barely listen to him talk he's so disgusting. The way he just ignores that they're saying and spins his own narrative is maddening.
I totally agree! To think that anyone would teach push such a damaging narrative like this! Such a terrible thing to do. ALSO, the way he speaks about mental health, blaming individuals for their own mental difficulties could really send someone spiraling. Many people who are struggling with mental health already have trouble blaming themselves. To confirm that narrative for someone who has considered ending their own life, or to anyone for that matter, is EXTREMELY TOXIC!!!
Listening to this guy talk about women makes me cringe. As a guy I feel horrible for all the women who went through this. It’s wrong to make the person feel like they are the reason for their abuse. He’s not helping anyone
oh god it's so bad!! I kinda wish they have trained psychs outside these bullshit conventions with useful flyers and trauma support, warning them about it. If he was a registered health practitioner Tony would no longer have a licence..
Oh god I had a therapist (with a Ph.D in psychology) who was just like this. I fired him because he was just projecting weird toxic masculinity shit onto me that wasn't even relevant to my issues ("of course you don't listen to your wife, she's a woman and you're a man." bro. what? I respect and appreciate what my wife has to say. I'm not even here for relationship advice.) I'm a tenured paramedic, and not someone who lacks self-confidence in who I am or as a man. I have a hard time asking people for help and with motivation/procrastination from ADHD. That's why I was looking for therapy. And he made me feel like a worse person every session, purely because I was asking for help, like I was somehow less of a man for being unable to solve everything myself, when my problem is I'd taken that mindset too far. (the dude was even a self-professed expert in treating ADHD and first responders) I felt like I was being gaslighted. And googling his reviews, a couple other people mentioned the exact same word. So I asked my wife, a friend, and my psychiatrist (who is an expert in treating ADHD) if I was just crazy or if he was onto something, and they all said the same thing. Gaslighting. When it comes to therapy, my psychiatrist gave me some simple advice: "Do you feel like they get you, and do you feel like they want to help?" Back onto Tony, it's really damn weird hearing him say shit about animal instincts and then repeatedly point out how a woman smiles when they just said something deeply personal and embarrassing like confessing suicidal ideation. That's a hard-wired biological trait in all of us, and many other primates. The "awkward smile/laugh" is a self-soothe and attempt to de-escalate. I see it all the time as a paramedic with my psych patients. You can't help someone if you don't get to know them. These short "interventions" he does are little more than the therapy version of a psychic doing cold reading. I think one problem Robbins made for himself is that his "thing" is he can help anyone. And not everyone's issues are easily fixed. But it would break character and his entire schtick if someone came up and said "I tried to kill myself because I was sold into an arranged marriage, I divorced my husband and he took my baby, who I haven't seen for years." and Tony just said what he should - "Oh, ma'am, I'm so sorry. That's unfortunately beyond my scope to address. I'll recommend you some good, licensed therapists after the event."
@@lalaboards lol really felt the need to necro bump a year old post of someone sharing a bad experience with a bad therapist, did ya? God damn sometimes I feel like giving everyone access to the internet was a mistake.
@@colinmartin9797 Everyone has an excuse these days .Everyone has a condition these days. It’s the flipping oppression Olympics. As my father used to say nobody can help you but you. I’ve been on the Internet before you whining cynics took it over. One kid even said that he had PTSD because his daddy was mean . When the Chinese take us over they’re not gonna care about your lived experience !
@@lalaboards OMG, this is your reply? Did you not notice when his (rather and interesting substantive) comment was made? And yet 1 year later... I mean, if anyone needs to "get over it and move on." Sorry @lalaboards, but you fail to persuade.
The whole hair flipping incident gave me huge "it's YOUR FAULT I'm attracted to you" vibes. Like if a woman does something that he *happens* to find attractive while he's talking to them, it's because they can read his mind and they're a malicious seductress. I bet he asks r*pe victims what they were wearing.
I mean- the idea that anyone with long hair, only ever touches or adjusts it, in order to seem attractive, is just so toxic. We are in quarentine and I am at home with my dog. According to Tony logic, I flirt a lot with my dog, and my plants I guess 🤔
Dude when that hair flipping thing happened. I had to pause mouth agape. He sounded exactly like my abusive dad in that moment - the threat was palpable, it wasn't just in the words, but in his tone of voice, his poise, his face, the everything... and it was exactly like what he did, I felt the same emotions of fear, then anger and hurt and defensiveness come up watching it. WOW what a flashback He's not a man for speaking to women like that. He's a fucking pillock. And his past and all the allegations (what are the odds that so many women would stick their neck out for humiliation and accuse him are just "clout-chasers"?) just prove that all the more. Wow. I have so many things to say about that segment, but at the same time I just have none.
@@222o-u3t I'm so sorry you had to experience that and that Robbins' actions brought back those memories. I hope you're in a better place now! And I completely agree with you.
As someone who was in an abusive relationship with a narcissist, watching this was extremely disturbing. You cannot ever make a narcissist happy. You can give and give and give until you're dead inside and it will still not be enough. TR has no idea what he's talking about.
My uncle has harassed his wife like that for since they got married. I told her to get a divorce when I was 6 and now whenever we have a disagreement she sends in her husband to threaten me.. Maybe she just hasn't reached her 8th attempt in leaving him but I think they deserve each other at this point
Wow. Every time a woman says her father gave her unconditional love and he says "asshole." He definitely is saying that to his mother for not giving that to him. It is jealousy. This guy has been hurting so many people but they just don't get it.
My stomach is literally turning thinking about how much damage he’s done... Hurt people-> hurt people... it’s really sad to think about the idea that these people out here with such far reach, doing so much damage to others are really the ones who need the most help 😧
This is so hard to watch - the story about the lady getting cheated on and being almost forced to not follow her dreams of being a singer literally made me cry (even though they seemed to manufacture some sort of weird happy ending) - this guy is the ultimate gaslighter
As an Italian as well, I double down. I would encourage everyone to watch Teresa Mannino's stand-up sketch about a Sicilian wife founding out her husband cheating in bed with his lover. It's funny and fully explanatory LOL
Like, he blames women for "having daddy issues", while he's standing there with a massive load of mommy issues, himself. Not saying he deserved the treatment he got from her - no one does - but it's a bit rich and hard to swallow.
As a woman, I am the one to make myself feel womanly. I dress pretty to feel beautiful; I take a scented bath to relax; I call my girlfriends if I want female emotional support; I buy lingerie to feel sexy. That's my responsibility to myself. I am confused by Robbins' repeated assertion that women have to make their man "feel like a man", otherwise she's punished with loss of love or relationship. What kind of weak people are these men, that they don't know how to maintain their own self-concept or gender identity?
As long as one does what they want or like without the pressure of society's standards telling them what to do I don't think there should be a problem.
It would've been a good comment if you said that your perception of womanly things is yours only. These happen to be very stereotypical and I know for a fact that are also insulting to many women who don't share your sentiment.
@@Mia199603 I find it difficult to separate out what I do to feel feminine as I'm not even sure what feminine is. Many qualities like nurturing and listening I feel apply to all genders.
Small update on this excellent deep dive is that Tim Ballard who posted one of the videos defending Robbins' behaviour has since been sacked from his own non-profit and has criminal complaints against him for sexual misconduct.
@@noobian3314 Glad to see you carrying on the trend of saying what this isn't. It's getting a bit stale now though , have fun being condacending on the rest of the worslwide wide web.
Omg YES!!!!! You hit the nail directly on the head, he LOATHES women for this exact reason. It sounds cliche or like psych 101 but EVERYTHING goes back to our parents. EVERYTHING.
@Midnight Smith yes! I was looking for a comment that said this. He needs to revisit those traumas with a trained professional (and maybe a swift kick in the shins but that's neither here nor there)
How is this shıt even legal? This guy's incredible success is such a clear indication of how vulnerable we are as a species to liars, frauds and conmen.
Yes. but not a real con because the client submits the cash first. He sells the ideal. In the UK you could look at the roadside rescue service like the AA and get shafted to join for a emergency fee of £££, because they can. Also joining the AA is ££ as standard. This Tony guy saw them coming. He's the real deal and regurgitates what wiser older folks said aeons before. What society needs are those Elders. The wise. The ones We turn to for insight and coordination. TR got all that and set a trend. Since Snake oil and Bible mixed, We've been shafted (if We go for that stuff). He's 'the brand'. He's actually an Artificial Entity ironically, but protected by corporate law. The nuts bit is - that's what corporate entities are: Artificial People. I hope this Munecat entity shines their awesome genius over that corporate law stuff. The misogynists love to live their life as a corporation.
I'm part of those who had to click away from the sections that discussed abuse in this video because I was getting sincerely physically ill. This led me to realize how much YOU had to put yourself through to make this video. This is just my little expression of acknowledgement and gratitude for your work (many of your other videos fall under this too) because you rifle through horrendous content to highlight their harm and then make it available in a way that is at least a little more palatable and very much respectful of those who need a content warning. You're also a master at knowing when to inject humor and when to be deadly serious. So thank you!
I went on a Robbins fire walk course in 1997. I was in my 20s and enjoyed the Ra Ra of it. A man stood up and told his story about being a soldier in the Serbian war in the early 90s. He was 'broken' because he had killed people. Robbins left the stage and did one of his interventions and whammy the man felt cured. Then a woman stood up and said how she had been raped and Robbins did an intervention with her and she felt healed. At the time i was mind blown. BUT ! A year later i went back to the same seminar and took some friends. Would you believe it... a man and woman stood up and told the exact same story as the year before ! I was like..hang on a minute, i heard this last year WTF. 25 years later and alot wiser, its clear to see the man is a raging narcissist and megalomaniac.
Having actors in the audience is a classic. Sometimes twins that you can alternate for extra effect, if the situation is such that it is possible to change them without people seeing. It also happens that people are so uplifted by the mood that they feel healed for the moment. But the next day, everything is as usual again for them.
Faith healers do it all the time. LGATs as well are known for having plants in the audience. This guy's spiel sounds a lot like the Landmark Forum, except he's more charitable to men, as opposed to bashing every single participant.
Just because the man is bigger and stronger hitting him does not make it ok. Almost 25% of the people surveyed - 28% of women and 19% of men - said there was some violence in their relationship. Women admitted perpetrating more violence (25% versus 11%) as well as being victimized more by violence (19% versus 16%) than men did. According to both men and women, 50% of this violence was reciprocal, that is, involved both parties, and in those cases the woman was more likely to have been the first to strike. Violence was more frequent when both partners were involved, and so was injury - to either partner. In these relationships, men were more likely than women to inflict injury (29% versus 19%). When the violence was one-sided, both women and men said that women were the perpetrators about 70% of the time. Men were more likely to be injured in reciprocally violent relationships (25%) than were women when the violence was one-sided (20%). That means both men and women agreed that men were not more responsible than women for intimate partner violence. The findings cannot be explained by men's being ashamed to admit hitting women, because women agreed with men on this point. www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/in_brief_domestic_violence_not_always_one_sided
I didn't get Tony Robbins but it was basically the same thing lol mine was some lady trying to convince me that my lifelong chronic illnesses that inhibit even my mobility are all because of manifestation. Or something like that.
It's so heartbreaking to see the sheer sadness, shock, humiliation, confusion and despair as these women are having to stand in a large crowd being literally abused by Tony, then having literally the entire audience agree, their husbands then agree with it all and promise to abuse her in the future, followed by an extremely tragic apology from the woman now that her self esteem is the lowest it could possibly go. I can imagine these women crying their eyes out the minute they get a moment alone and feeling too humiliated, ashamed and even scared to leave the house afterwards. As a domestic abuse victim I never got justice. It's very difficult for a lot of domestic abuse cases as there is often a lack of evidence. I would like to think that if there was a video recording of my abuse then people would come to the obvious conclusion of what a horrible bastard he is and support me, and the police would lock him away. I cannot imagine how I would cope if the world literally witnessed the abuse and actually congratulated him for it, whilst joining in. I cannot imagine how alone in the world these women must feel, you can literally see through their faces these women dying inside. It's heartbreaking These women are being verbally abused and the world watches, and cheers for the perpetrator..... and that is exactly what Tony is, this is severe emotional abuse and he knows what he's doing, how psychologically damaging his actions are to these women. I wish I was at one of these talks so that I could give these women a hug and tell them that at least one person in the world is on their side. Truly shocking and their husbands should be castraited for going along with this s***.
I wonder if Tony refers to “women” as “girls.” He talks about women getting fatter, but I wonder if he talks about guys getting fatter and losing their hair. Is Tony’s hair real, dyed?
one of the worse aspects of this is his insistence on "smiling" being proof. The berating and pressure from him, the crowd or so many other things could lead to a smile. he has so much charisma just cause you smile doesn't mean anything.
In other primates like Chimpanzees, smiling is a defensive mechanism as a response to physical or social danger- as a means of appearing submissive and non threatening. It's not saying "I'm happy", it's a stress response of "please don't hurt me - look my teeth are together & not about to bite" . It's the same in humans, context is everything. Robbins is both ignorant and sadistic.
@@nonyabusiness3619 the hair flip sent me. I play with my hair because the texture helps me focus better and calms my anxiety. I can’t imagine being torn into for something like that in front of so many people.
Tony Robbins seems to view every woman as an iteration of his mother. Now he gets to scream everything he felt about her at these women, humiliating and berating them in front of thousands of people, and get the pleasure of having them agree with him.
And I doubt his mom was even that bad. Think of it: we only get to hear his side of the story. What about her side? He paints her as this unfeeling monster. And somehow I highly doubt that. I think it was his never-there-dad who was the problem. Then his mother had to raise him and his brother and sister all on her own. Think of how much pressure the woman was under. I bet she didn't make unreasonable demands of him. She just asked him to be a good big brother and help out around the home. He was being a prissy little bitch by refusing to help his mother clean the house they all lived in. Back then, in the 80s, gender roles were fucked. And teenage sons did not help wash dishes or wash clothes. I bet he was a spoilt selfish boy who only thought about his own money. He didn't give a fuck about his family, that is why they kicked him out.
@@tshepishochuene1280 Maybe.... but then so does his dad. Oftentimes people just blame the woman/mother who raised the kid.... but the absentee father is equally to blame, i think.
@@KaizenKitty True. But Tony is specifically angry with his Mom, not his Dad. So it really doesn't matter who we blame. Tony is mad at who he's mad at.
I feel like when he 'confronts' these women it's just him yelling at his own Mom for hours. I'm sorry to keep commenting, but maybe it'll get this trending. Gaslight me, Daddy. Smh
@@lonewolflife6938 thank you, bc I always feel bad for commenting too much lol She has so much good info & research, & I have *so many* feelings about them lol
This is what happens when a man has mommy issues that he does not deal with, he sees all women as manipulative, but then again the man is a serious cheater and she should have known about it when he cheated with his wife for her.
Lmao, since when do women not say they are being abused? The comment section is nothing but women talking about alleged abuse. Men on the other hand are manipulated and emotionally abused by women more than any of you will ever admit, but you know damn well it's true.
@@yosefshekelberg5433 okay but we're not taling abt that rn, this was about Tony telling someone abuse didn't really happen, this happens to men too and that's wrong too idk why you try to act as if they said "men being abused is TOTALLY FINE"
Exactly! So true. There's also the "I understand exactly what women are saying but I don't like what I'm hearing, so I'm going to pretend what she's saying doesn't mean anything." Just gross
Um, you gonna deny that women like to be subtle rather than outright? Huh. Well, every single woman I've ever met has never been able to speak outright. They definitely prefer to speak subtle suggestions and expect me to pick up on it rather than just speaking straight up. But sure.
@@choosetolivefree maybe you're just difficult to talk to because your personality is so abrasive. I'd say that's more a statement about how YOU interact with the world than about how ALL women are.
@@choosetolivefree I mean this genuinely, if the women you are meeting aren't direct and won't say what's on their mind even to the detriment of your relationship and you can't talk it out, it's ok to keep looking. It's always a good idea to self reflect and consider what you may be doing to influence the way a person interacts with you, but if someone is just being petty or disrespectful, you don't have to be in a relationship with them. To blame all women for it and assume it comes with the territory of dating them is a bad look.
Being outright can be dangerous for women, and since it's not easy to predict when something might turn dangerous, it's a protective habit that some women adopt. Socialization plays a role too.
What I absolutely despise about this form of toxic masculinity is that it's not only degrading to women, it's patronizing to men. It's hypocritical because it reduces men to bumbling horny oafs who just "can't help" but be shitty to their significant others and women are just supposed to be on our knees 24/7 or we're bad partners. It's a lose-lose perspective that diminishes the personhood of everyone by displacing the personal responsibility entirely from the men to the women because the men "can't handle it."
I really would wish that more men understood this - when we talk about toxic masculinity we aren't saying being a man or being masculine is a bad thing! It hurts women and it hurts men to have men feel as though they need to live up to toxic standards of what it is to "be" a man.
One of the worst ideas in this bundle of horrible ideas is that men will 'give you everything' after sex. No, that cannot possibly be correct: Does that mean I could get my then-boyfriend's collector DVD set of The Lord of the Rings movies if I just asked him after sex? Sure, it was his most prized collection and he stood in line for hours on end- in the cold Norwegian weather, to boot- in order to get it before it sold out. But who knew, he'd just hand it over if I asked. As long as if it were after sex, mind you. Seriously? How buys this?
Yes indeed. I want to aspire to more than this denuded, pathetic caricature. I also hate that the weaker men, who simply lacked a bit of confidence, were being to told to be bigoted, shouty penis monsters like him. He's like some sort anti-psychologist you go to in order to destroy your own mind.
My old manager went to a Tony Robbins event and was so incredibly overbearing when he came back that I got fired for essentially 'not being pumped enough'
I was on Tony Robbins' mailing list for like a minute just to find out that I have feminine energy because I can multitask and I care about people's emotions :/
Wtf. Tony “confronting” the abusive husband had me saying: Tony’s gonna get her killed. That man is gonna kill his wife and Tony is encouraging the man to be violent in public.
I can not believe you have the audacity to attack Tony, he is the most wonderful and insanely talented man I've ever seen and met. I have suffered from depression all my life and had nowhere to go but I went to Tony and he slapped me in the face with a cucumber and I was immediately cured. Case closed
Shame on you munecat for attacking this amazing human being who clearly helped so many people! Maybe do a video about this effective cucumber-cure that helped this person. I also heared that this man can walk on water. He is Amazing woooow
As a woman with suicidal tendencies, that section was deeply saddening to see, the look of helplessness in her eyes, the look of her own self hatred being confirmed and encouraged by hundreds of ppl, I couldn’t imagine what that would do to me, I was in a emotionally abusive relationship where everytime I tried to leave my partner would threaten suicide but also constantly get mad at me and ignore me, and belittle me for a psychical condition I had and how it personally meant I didn’t love him bc it made our sex life difficult, if I was there I would’ve broken down and it almost made me cry bc I saw so much of me in her,she just wanted someone she respected to help her get the motivation to leave but instead all she got was more abuse, and he can’t look past his own mommy issues to see that, it took me two years to leave, and that’s bc I was in highschool and I don’t have children, and any every therapist that’s gotten training from him must be evaluated for competency bc I can’t imagine a therapist saying any of the things he says to a woman who struggles with suicidal tendencies
Kiwi, you are the most beautiful and strong soul. Please don't ever think that you are worthless. You are NOT. You ARE WORTHY OF LOVE, RESPECT AND EVERY HAPPINESS OF LIFE. Sending love and hugs 💟
A friend of mine in high school was in the same position. Abusive online relationship. Everytime she tried to leave he'd keep threatening suicide. It was infuriating to me to keep seeing that son of a bitch abuse my friend. She got away eventually. From him and her family. Felt so helpless, like there was nothing that I could do to help my friend. There was probably more I could have done, but I didn't have the emotional vocabulary at the time. That bastard put my friend through hell on prom night.
@@bob3ironfist I’m so sorry to hear that, and you sound like an amazing friend, it’s hard to find what the right thing to do in situations like that especially online, as long as you supported and helped your friend as much as you could I think you did great, my friends personally helped me a lot, especially with keeping me from second guessing my reality, and my heart goes out to your friend, bc nobody deserves that abuse, especially at prom
So to simplify, people pay thousands of dollars to have a tall man with a voice like a dying deisel engine project his mommy issues on them and call it therapy
7:58 If he has no Psychological degree and is not accredited as a psychologist, then what he is doing giving psychological interventions is actually illegal in many countries including the country to which he is from.
I feel like a lot of these self help types surround themselves in "oh it isn't actually therapy" and "we aren't responsible" legalese. I hope to see a lawyer take them down one day.
@@fizzy6088 I like to see what a US lawyer says about NDA's and waving rites with regards to psychological interventions. I know in the UK it won't count because of the HCPC rulings on such things meaning that even though the person has signed the agreement, you still need to be a registered psychologist or a psychiatrist to be able to give the intervention. You still have to work within the HCPC or relevant bodies guidelines. I do have an understanding that you can practice without being a psychologist or equivalent providing that it is in something that is highly specific so like a sports confidence coach giving a talk on what is confidence, providing that you are relatively trained in providing that service and that you stay within that lane and work within the HCPC guidelines or relevant bodies. But you are walking a grey type rope in an ethical fog in weather you are breaking the law or not breaking the law. now I am going to heed my own advice and stay within my realm of practice and say that although I have been introducing and have read the guidelines as part of the sports and exercise psychology masters course I am not a solicitor specialising in such things. If you want a full account of the law in this regards then you need to see or speak to a solicitor.
@@ImmersiveSportsScience They bullshit and say it's self-help or guidance - they word it carefully to get around the HCPC guidelines. It's bollocks that actual clinicians who spend years and years in training have stricter rules to what they can do and bigger consequences if they step outta line then people like this dickhead
@@ImmersiveSportsScience In the UK loads of people get away with giving psychological advice/treatment under the guise of being a "wellness/life coach" or something similar. Often they will also use a more established concept, like yoga, pilates, or boxing, anything that has a modicum of respectability & is widely known. I've noticed a lot of successful physical/wellness people say they encorporate different elements from various disciplines & use a holistic approach. They nearly always includes psychologic elements, despite not being qualified in the field of mental health. I visited a chiropractor who started giving psychological advice & I was completely caught off guard, I just wanted my rib put back in! I have a chronic physical condition (ehlers danlos syndrome) which causes a host of physical problems including hypermobility which causes dislocation, pain, tight muscles etc as well as gastro problems etc. I tried several different professional people to try & help ease these symptoms (as traditional medicine had either done all it could, or I was on a long waiting list.) Anyway when I just wanted to get physical treatment, including asking for dry needling to help relax muscles, I was astounded at the amount of people from a variety of desiplines who assumed I had, or wanted help with, a mental health problem, & who wasted a lot of time with pop psychology. I never did find a non confrontational way, or a way that would make them listen & not be offended, to say just focus on the physical complaint I asked for your help with!
@@ImmersiveSportsScience As you seem to know about the legal side of things, what is the law/rules about medical professionals who are not psychologists, psychiatrists, councilors etc, who diagnosis a mental health condition in someone who presents with physical complaints? For example a rheumatologist diagnosing a psychological condition, or a physiotherapist diagnosing an anxiety condition? In the disability community this seems common practice. Often a mental health professional is never consulted & the patient doesn't ever receive a professional psychological assessment, yet the diagnosis will be on their record & the Dr who diagnosed will tell other drs of their new diagnosis. Are there laws for this, or is it supported by the law? Along the same lines I've noticed it is becoming more prevalent of medical professionals who deal with physical medicine to encorporate, or focus on, mental health elements in their treatment. They don't outright diagnosis a specific mental health condition & when confronted will refute that is what they are saying but state illogical thought processes & actions they think the patient has. For example it will be something like my friend who had severe arthritic in his hip & he was basically told he was being negative & focusing on the pain. That the baseline pain was actually low but it was his emotional & mental framing that was making the pain severe. I have heard similar stories from a lot of disabled people, with a variety of conditions. Also when my friend eventually got his hip replacement it was found that his femur was actually in his pelvis! Which call me silly but I would imagine would be pretty damn painful to walk around on! There also doesn't seem to be any way to prove what the Dr is saying is true, like the claim that the baseline pain level for my friend being low (despite clearly my friend & I disagreeing) the burden of proof is completely on the patient. The Dr refuses to listen & believe what the patient is saying, or do any investigation which might prove the patient right. This seems ethically wrong but also like an abuse of power, especially if the patient disagrees or refuses to agree to the drs "assessment" that they can be refused further appropriate treatment. I am concerned such an approach is being not only accepted but hailed as the best approach. I am also worried that the drs confirmation bias, disrespect of patients & lack of two way communication or willing to examine if their initial assumptions were correct or not, is going to worsen this issue. Anyway sorry that was long but it's an issue that I view as morally wrong but is happening more & more, however I don't know about any legal backing for the patients. So I wondered if there even is any?
As someone who has been gaslighted to think everything is my fault, you really think learning that is better for you. That you now know so you can improve on yourself and get better. You don't question if the person telling you this was in the wrong, because they're convincing you that no one is in the wrong but yourself. It feels correct at first, but it starts to eat away at you for the rest of your life, blaming yourself for everything and making yourself depressed. Pretty shit
I watched the whole video, his aim was to show him that the real problem was not that he's not attracted to her, but something way deeper. Sometimes people are too quick to judge...watch the whole intervention
@@nicol2720 Did he have to do it in front of a live audience? Like does that help this man? And did Tony have to mock the man's masculinity? Did he have to put him down, and then kick him while he's down?? *Hint:* all these questions are rhetorical. The answer is an obvious *NO.*
No,no, you've got to watch the whole thing, and graduate at least one NP course to understand all of this was necessary. Otherwise - you're not qualified to judge.
So he's been married three different times, yet has children from an assortment of women (some of whom weren't his wife). I'd probably not want to take relationship advice from him. Or any advice from a guy looking like a sleazy used car salesman.
I mean, it’s not like relationships are complicated, right? Just give me more money and you can follow 5 easy steps to solving every problem you have, forever! No no no, ignore that therapist
@@rickc2102 Those traits always pull everyone into thinking that whatever the guy is saying is legit. They're also common traits of sad, fake con-artists like him & terrible romance love interests, to the point that I've started to find guys like that unattractive 💀
Yes, the empowering moment is for when an abusive man destroys things on stage and is told to be even more aggressive as a solution to his martial problems. 🤮 I also noticed what Tony calls a smile, I would refer to as a sneer...especially in the case of the Italian woman, she seems to be far more disgusted than happy. But Tony runs with it as a smile because it fits his usual narrative. It's not about trying to figure out what one person is doing through, but rather using a method of formulating things that are quick and easy...and probably far more likely to bring about immediate "change" even if long term it's likely to make things a whole lot worse.
"never taken an anti-depressant, never seen a therapist" isn't it funny how some of the people who most need help are the ones who are the most against getting help? yikes
@@sjormeraniov6586 But he knows the history of psychiatry. I just hope none of his children need mental health help. I don't think he'd handle it well. Thankfully, Suri mainly lives with Katie Holmes. People who don't believe in psychiatry often have children who commit suicide. Children that might have lived if only they had access to the appropriate help.
@@Vladica01 his behaviour shows he needs help, the things he say show that he needs help. Rather than need it's should have gotten help earlier in life
@@anoni6108 it is not his behavior showing that he needs help it is your own subjective perception of it. You, like some 2000+ people commenting here do not get why he speaks in that way and get emotionally involved into the content of what he says not really seeing beyond words.
As a 24 year old who foolishly wasted £900 on a 4 day Tony Robbins event (yes I was a bloody idiot and don’t even get me started on hot coal flashbacks and the cult atmosphere - oh and the whole thing being a sales pitch for more Tony Robbins events) I’m so glad this exists and I hope many more people see it
They exploit any and all insecurities/regrets (which just about everyone has in some form or another) and play on the worst traits of human nature, with regards to status and ego. You really are not an idiot, it's very difficult not to get caught up in this stuff, especially since those who are heavily into it will viciously double-down and defend their choices. The fact you discovered what it was actually about and stopped proves you are clearly intelligent. And besides, if you look at the work of people like James Randi, you soon realise even very intelligent people can be fooled by the simplest of techniques and tricks.
@@arozeisarozie Can't agree more.There's nothing wrong with the desire to want to heal yourself, improve and evolve. Best way to do that: forget about self-help and start studying psychology.
I've never seen any of his paid content. This shit needs to come with an abuse warning. It's intense and abusive as fuck. It's obvious that he hates women but that he would lead these large groups of people to think as he does is just disgusting.
Imagining this man as a husband or father is absolutely terrifying, and he has influenced so many families in the world. I wonder how much damage he has done
The mommy issues that have led to this man's damaged mind are actually pretty sad. He sees every woman as his mom, an evil, manipilative snake that seeks to take advantage of men. It seems like his actions are justified in his mind as a sort of revenge. It's both repulsive and tragic.
He has a lot of anger and his use of foul language is inappropriate. I remember it was either his wife's birthday or their anniversary, and he posted on social media saying that he hopes his wife "stays weird". I thought that was a very condescending thing to say to someone when it's supposed to be a day of appreciation and honor.
@@24kstar I’m pretty sure calling your spouse weird is just a pretty general complement to say that you like their quirkiness, it’s really not comparable to any of the actually bad things he’s done
That's precisely what I'm thinking. I was really impressed by some of his talks but after watching this... this guy has SUFFERED from being emasculated so often that he's forcing men to be 300x as sadistic to achieve their goals. I relate to a lot of Tony's feelings as well as having a narcissistic, abusive mother. But damn. Forget genders - there are more than 2 sexes. Pretending that there's only black & white makes it harder to understand complications
I've been getting creep vibes from Robbins for years and I'm happy I'm not alone. I've been getting ads about him these days so I specifically set out to find videos like this one because I needed a palate cleanser. Funnily enough, the algorithm is still not smart enough to understand whether my searches reflect a positive or negative view of Robbins, so they decided to waste his money by filling every video I've watched so far, including this one, with ads about him. It can't tell that spamming me with one obnoxious, cultish ad after another only makes me despise the man more 🙄
Oof. I have the same issue. I watch a lot of political content, so my ads are full of PragerU and other right wing bullshite. A PragerU ad on an explicitly socialist RU-vid channel. Talk about barking up the wrong tree.
@@Queen_of_Coffee - I used to take some solace in the fact I was wasting their money, but they were also wasting my time and ruining my day, so I got RU-vid premium. (I know there's free alternatives.)
Wait a second. I am Italian. I love in Italy. I can guarantee you that it is NOT an Italian tradition to go and cheat to your wife. I’m 12 years married. I would remarry him today
When the financial crisis happened radio 4 did a program on how this effected Italian men. What I found really interesting and funny was a lot of Italian men were upset because they couldn’t keep up with there extra marital affairs because of lack of income. Now I wouldn’t say that every Italian man is the same but was a very interesting programme.
@@claudiabailey5302 Look at the stats, Germany, Italy, Denmark and Norway have the same percentages of adultery. But somehow Italians are the only ones stereotyped for it.
So Tony can spend 10 months of each and every year on the motivational speaking circuit away from his wife and kids, but a woman has to be punished with an 18 month hiatus from her career because she spent 3 months away for a lifetime opportunity? Aight.
Not knowing much about Tony Robbins, I thought this video would poke some fun at him and the life-coaching community in general for being cringe. I had no idea how disturbing he was. "Cringe" or "not scientifically proven" is the least of problems here. I have tried to finish this video 4 times and I just can't. The way he gaslights these women is so heartbreaking, literally my heart aches for them. They went there for help and advice during a dark time of their lives, most of them being victims of abuse/neglect/betrayal etc. I am sure they needed someone to tell them they weren't crazy and that it would get better. Instead they got publicly humiliated and gaslit. I hope they know that they didn't deserve any of that.
Seems to me that his mother being abusive/ manipulative has made him think all women are like that. And I doubt that he’s ever confronted that since he’s said he’s never head therapy or anything like that
It's rather telling that he *persistently* goes right to the "daddy issues" diagnosis but not so much with men and mommy issues... 🤔 Ironic that someone who hasn't come to terms with his own abuse (instead using misogyny as a coping mechanism) would be so confident in his qualifications to counsel people *still living in the cycle of abuse.* And people are making him rich, enabling and empowering him to perpetuate abuse while victim-blaming women and encouraging the men he sees himself in. He's getting so much validation out of this and putting abusive men fully in control of their victims.
I couldn't stop thinking about that the whole video!! It's sad in a way because his experience with his mother was horrible and it obviously had a serious impact on his world view, but now rather than dealing with it he's projecting it onto women who come to him for help Just a vicious cycle of toxicity.
Some women are spoiled and pampered to a point of thinking they're exempt from being accountable or responsible. Unfortunately Tony seems to think this is the case with all women.
As a Master's level psychology student, I am deeply appalled with his "therapeutic interventions." It is literally nothing short of narcissistic abusive gaslighting.
I remember seeing this dude on the infomercial circuit all the time when I was a kid(mid to late 90s) and making him my nemesis because it cut into cartoon time. Watching this doc, it's pretty clear that Robbins sees every woman as his mom, and behaves towards them as such. But these women aren't his mom, and your trauma doesn't give you the right to inflict it on others. I am legitimately shaking in rage at his treatment of that couple struggling with suicidal ideation. By the Twelve, this dude should never be allowed to speak publically again.
As a real man, i'm fucking offended by this guy's ridiculous one-note assertions about my gender. How the men in the audience felt validated and not insulted is beyond me.
@@hypatia4754 maybe more like as opposed to someone like TR, who is a sorry example of one. TR is certainly performing (and perpetuating) a deeply toxic caricature of masculinity, which *is* highly inauthentic, and I’d say “inauthentic” is quite a solid opposition to “real” in the context of what makes a quality man.
@@yosefshekelberg5433 no , implying that all these guys ( in the video ) are Same when it comes to behavior. Pathetic cheaters who blames their partners for their lack of loyalty
@@thenonsenseguy2364 kinda funny, given how that is the most common excuse women make when caught cheating "it's his fault, he didn't (fill in horseshit blank).
@@yosefshekelberg5433 that's why cheaters are all the same . And it was wrong of Tony to blame the victim rather than the person who cheated. It's a bad move regardless of gender
THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO. I was in a relationship with a man (after I was healing from trauma and did not want to date but was love bombed) who was a "toxic positivity". I remember him pushing this Tony Robbins teachings on me, when I tried to point out I felt he was sexist in his spreaking, and dealing with women compared to men. My ex got so angry with me and made me feel like I was being ridiculous and not fair, and looking for reasons not to heal myself. This was one of many examples that really messed me up more in my healing. This video was everything I tried to express and was told I was wrong. It is making me feel so vindicated and NOT insane as I was once lead to believe.
Of all the rationality for abuse or infidelity I could come up with... "Because he loves you and he only wants to make you happy" wasn't jumping to the top of mind!
I had an opportunity to see him through work and declined. When asked why I tried to explain the fact that he branded himself as so wonderful, a great family man, great marriage but then suddenly was divorced. When you use your marriage to brand yourself and then the marriage falls apart, my question is why? People at work thought I was saying, he’s a bad guy because he is divorced. No, not what I said but I wasn’t allowed to elaborate. I just said, go for it, go see him, hope it helps ya. Tony is so damn full of himself and a misogynistic jerk.
Similar to me, at work, we've had this motivational speaker coming to attendance at least three times and after the first time I refuse to go back to see him and prefer to work instead. His main thing is the he is a positive man who "has it all figured out". What really threw me off is that part of his motivational story is talking about how, when his wife had cancer and was dying, he had prayed to God to find him another partner for him and he asked his wife as she was dying if this was okay and she had allegedly emphatically told him that yes he should and about a couple weeks after her death he found someone else and married her. That is so weird and when I try to explain this to my co-workers they don't really think it's that bad until I really make him think a little bit deeper into what happened and some of them are grossed out. Hopefully my last email to HR and the committee that takes care of these events take my well-worded email into consideration asked to why we shouldn't be getting him or people like him lol
This guy's style of "curing" is like tying a gaping wound closed with twine, ignoring the inevitable infection which won't be visible for a few days, then maybe he can add a coat of paint and claim it was their fault when they need an amputation.
I remember reading in one of the books about NXIVM that Tony Robbins was a big inspiration for Keith Raniere. Sounds like NLP is a power hungry manipulators dream come true. 🤮
It's just so dangerous, these NLP "therapists" can do so much harm, especially when treating people who are facing mental challenges. My aunt's friend who is "an alternative massage therapist" and is really into New Age medicine just started one of those NLP courses and is already claiming that psychiatry and physiology are overrated and old-fashioned. 'A little knowledge is a dangerous thing' :/
You can tell by watching tony talk during these “interventions” they are very closely related to NXIVM’s “EM’s” gas light, Blame the victim and just make them feel like garbage for experiencing any normal human emotion. Yuck.
Thank you. I had an Italian dentist who would harass me and my mom would be like 'it's fine because he's Italian'. i don't know why she thought that was an ok thing to say smh
@@lukethedesigner6611 I didn't perceived it as satirical at all, I felt he was using this stereotype to justify the man's behavior, do you think he was joking?
I dread to imagine the shit he would say to me, a trans woman. He would probably say that my dad "failed" at making me a man, that living with my mother made me feel like I should be more like her or some typical transphobic bullshit like that.
IT BLOWS MY MIND that this man thinks he knows everything about psychology but doesn’t realize he’s projecting all his mommy issues on everyone! Has no one mentioned this to him? He should be embarrassed... clearly he hates women because he resents his mom. Tony, go away. Please.
Go away where ? You have to pay a reassuringly expensive amount of money to get his stuff. Thats not only staying away from you, thats staying away & putting barriers up to prevent you encountering him. Maybe HE isnt the problem here. AHEM !! 😈
@@Genera1MacDaddy He's not joking. Spidermoose is a Tony Robbins fanboy. I see the subscription on his profile thing. I clicked his avatar to see the comments he's left on this video thats when I saw it
it's kind of reassuring to know he's just another common-or-garden sexist grifter, not a dude who genuinely, healthily, has it together. It was painful to watch him wrecking those individual lives while spreading low-level destructive nonsense throughout his audiences though. I hope he sees this analysis and it makes him re-evaluate his life choices and his perception of himself and his abilities. I'm not looking forward to part 2, but if you have gone to the effort of making it, the least I can do is watch it. (Bonus: also glad to know that NLP is... not fully scientific)
He is so triggering, especially as someone who has been in a relationship where I was cheated on, gaslit, and abused. I hate this man so much, I really hope the worst for him.
My heart goes out to you! I just found out that a friend of mine had been badly abused for a long time. If I am this triggered by this video by proxy, I can't even imagine the feelings you are feeling after having been there! I wish you all the best and pray for your healing from such a horrible past. Much love to you!
The way he tried to solve that one couples marriage issues by having the man smash a chair in front of his suicidal wife is kinda of encouraging venting your anger through violence 😳 😒 😑 🤦
The cleaning thing has always gotten me. I do most of the cleaning in the house not my wife. I like it clean but when I'm overwhelmed she helps out. If your partner doesn't do that for you there is an issue. Not a man woman issue at all.
Currently writing a paper for political psychology. We have to choose someone of influence who’s used power and has persuaded people. I thought of Tony Robbins because he was an influence in my life for a while. But sometimes when watching him, even the Netflix documentary I was baffled by some of the shit he says… this video was so extremely helpful to clear my views and give me topics of him as an influencer… He has no credentials and exploits vulnerable people! Thank you SOOO MUCH FOR THIS VIDEO! Your time and your effort is so appreciated! I hope more people see this video and see him for what he really is, a sexist, narcissistic fraud. I’m definitely going to cite you for your hard work! 👏🏽
As soon as you mentioned his mother was extremely controlling I was waiting for the misogyny to come to the forefront, didn't take long. Sounds like Tony needs to address his maternal resentment.
@@TheGbitte yes, but with a far smaller fall out radius from the meltdown. And don't give me "but women do...", A few dead husbands doesn't make up for all the abusive ones that made such a woman
The absolute look of despair that this woman has when Tony invites her abusive husband is heartbreaking. She knows she will have to bear with the consequences of this, and she is terrified. And what follows... what "therapy" would encourage a violent person to try and solve their problems by breaking stuff and expressing even more violence? Tony just likes to make women scared. Scared of not being enough, scared of making a decision, scared of even talking. Who would open their mouth after that to say they're abused, when the host invites their abuser and praises them for being violent?!
1:03:05 "If you show vulnerability you're trying to manipulate men, if you're not showing vulnerability, you're trying to be a man." Great logic right there!
"there is no desire in you to commit S. But there is a desire in you for attention" 😢 as a guy who developed a new theory on sociological suicide, I just gotta add. That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard in my entire life. Victim blaming, not taking their emotions or problems at face value (this is the absolute least you need to do), and then goes to not helping people in situation where they are vulnerable, if he were a school teacher and those were kids then he would have had a legal obligation to step in, remove the person and help. But hey he is just a scammer, so he has no obligation to do anything.
