The Quartering 1. Pooped his pants 2. Pees in basement 3. Has crotch rot 

Imagine the one time your willing to go out in public with your quarter husband to pick up avocados, you look away for a second and he’s gone. 30 minutes later you get a text: “I shit myself.”

Was he temporarily 6'5 due to all the shit piling up under him?

imagine you're rocking a piss at the walmart mind your business and the fuckling quartering walks in pants around his knees and says "get out of here im shitting myself"

As a fellow bigger guy, I can 100% confirm that crotch rot is the result of NOT SHOWERING

I’m surprised he didn’t try to blame Brie Larson somehow for his explosive diarrhea

Literally *inhaled* the water I was drinking and then immediately spit more water up everywhere when I heard “I’m not taking a pause to shit all over the floor” 😂

"Niice avocadooooo..." I miss Hila when she's not there XD

It’s amazing that anyone would actually want to share a story like that. If I shat my pants in the Walmart: A. I wouldn’t B. That’s a secret that would go to my grave.

“Nice avocadoooo” 💀

Wait, not all Walmarts are superstores? I had no idea.

Quartering segments are the best. He’s so funny

To be fair, I developed lactose intolerance in my late 20s. I didn't find out until I had ice cream one night and had violent, gut-wrenching shits when I got home. I had ice cream again to test it out and confirmed that my body suddenly decided it cannot handle lactose. I know Ethan is having his fun but it can happen to anyone that enjoys their cheese and ice cream.

hila dying laughing at the quarterings poop story is a cinematic masterpiece

lol'd at the title before I even clicked. It's so easy to mess with that guy. Epic tool that has a meltdown and embarrasses himself every time.

The Quartering legit sucks. It feels like he's been online forever. The few times I've tried to watch his content, I've gotten a few seconds in before I nope right on outta there. You know you're on the wrong side of the Internet once TheQuartering vids start popping up in your recommended.

Hila's nice avocado bit was the funniest thing ever hahaha

Just talking about mid-America walmarts, I had a number 2 emergency just last week. Of course I wasnt near shitting myself but rather the toilet paper was empty just after I began my business. The dude in the stall next to me ignored my pleas for toilet paper. Straight up. My wife ended up bringing me a roll.lmao

The Quartering has the absolute worst “keep it in your pants” issues.

He was so unashamed when telling that story.

Ethan in 2018 starting a podcast and interviewing Bob Saget, wondering where his H3H3 career will take him next. Ethan in 2021:

idk about every single walmart but all the walmarts i've ever been to have 1 bathroom in the front of the store and another one at the back. so wherever you are in the store it's like a 1 or so minute walk to a bathroom ??? pretty sus

I did not expect the Godfather to appear here.

Someone at my Walmart pooped from the walk in to the bathroom. And im the type of person that can’t help what I say and I said “ahhh someone shitted on the ground!” And started dying laughing. The 2 employees yelled at me and said “no it’s not it’s chocolate” That sure the hell wasn’t chocolate I was laughing so hard I couldn’t talk, all I could say was *someone shitted* 😂 *someone shitted* through the tears just bc how the employees was handling it like there was a dead body on the ground 😂🤦🏼‍♀️

Yall gonna drop this but not go live on time😭😭😭

Nothing to do with this episode either but I am 34 and just found out a few years ago I have one kidney. I was in complete shock when I found out. No reason for it just born with one, and not the right strong one, i was born with the little spare tire. I’m happy I lived my life tho. I’m glad I didn’t know my whole life til later. I lived. Reason I brought this up, your son will be fine and have just as good as a life as someone with two kidneys. My friend found out her son wasn’t gonna have a kidney when she had an ultrasound and now she has him on a special diet and doesn’t let him play sports. That’s why I’m glad I didn’t know.

As a mid-30s man, I have to defend him a bit on the cheese thing. For some reason when you hit 30 certain things you could tolerate fine before start to become less fine. Dairy stuff is a common one I think.

My bro became allergic to tomatoes an nuts when he got into his 30's so it can happen

Call me an immature baby, but I watched this in the livestream and have watched this clip like 4 times now, and I still am CACKLING at this story. Hila going "nice avocado" in slow motion sent me

"Running the quarter mile" INCREDIBLE joke

rent free

4:30 I couldn't stop laughing, Hila's comment had me dying

Jeremy is a sad sad man, I can tell he’s just really unhappy with how his life has turned out. He just harbors so much Nasty anger, especially towards women. This guy could really use a strong DMT experience or heroic dose of mushrooms to have a third person view of him self and not be able to lie to him self about any of it. Shrooms saved me from being an ass hole

The Quartering: "Oh shit! It's time!" (@2:45). The Shit: "Okay. I'm going out."

Why does quartering sound like lumpy space princess?

Two 50 year Olds dressed like 13 year Olds acting like mean girls with his mail order bride. Sad commenting on sad 😆 both yall are sad but at least The quartering doesn't dress like a 13 yo skater ffs.

The fruit and vegetable section is always at the front by the bathrooms in all Walmart’s. Jeremy is an habitual liar and exaggerates about everything especially on the stories he tells on his TISM podcast, like they are blatantly not real. I’m not saying he didn’t shit his pants, but he definitely exaggerated the story like being on the other side of Walmart getting avocados for dramatization.

Why didn’t he clean himself better and get new pants etc. Doesn’t Walmart sell everything? Surly that’s the best place to shit your pants?!

H3 Podcast Highlights is actually a genius channel. Great way to get triggerclicks who start downvoting and commenting to defend the person the highlight is abt. These people generally don’t wanna sit through the entire podcast, but still want to know what triggering thing Ethan said. They proceed to click and Ethan laughs his way to the bank 😂

yo the detail of that he was shopping for avocados sends me every time. LOL

1. Why anyone would ever share - in graphic detail - that they shit themselves at a Walmart is beyond me. 2. I truly cannot believe that the Quartering, of all people, is married.

that is so foul i’m speechless 😭

I will say, one time, I must’ve contracted some sort of virus. I was at work in a meeting and suddenly felt a strong urge to vomit. I did, and they sent me home. I got home, and my body just exploded out everything with no way for me to stop it. I’d never experienced anything like this before, but it was like my anus had no muscles in it. I couldn’t hold anything in, and I was vomiting at the same time. The. Same. Time. This lasted for about 20 hours I’d say at this intensity. It was actually very scary-It got to a point where I couldn’t even really think, couldn’t do anything. I was just leaned up against the wall praying for it to stop and I felt like I’d lose consciousness at any moment. My family was very scared for me and kept telling me that I needed to go to the hospital but I KNEW I would’ve needed at least a hazmat suit to contain what was happening and that I could not bare for ANYONE else to see me in that state. I didn’t go. I just chugged and chugged and chugged water, figuring I was becoming very dehydrated. I was actually supposed to go to a house to dogsit that night. I would have gone if it wasn’t near constant, but I literally couldn’t get myself there until the morning when it finally slowed down. I went to the doctor that day and I was just severely dehydrated after that really. Nothing serious… Except. A partial prolapse. So anyway. I just typed this up and I guess I’ll hit send for anyone at all to see.

In order to teach me a lesson about something, my dad once put exlax in my breakfast cereal before dropping me off at the mall. Suffice to say, it was a shitty situation.

This is my favorite h3 video reaction of all time😭

Quartering story was more funny than this goofy shit....🤣

When Hila is getting in on the action, you know you severaly F'ed up in life.

Lmao the shoe isle is waaaaay farther than the bathrooms from the produce section 🤣🤣 what is happening?

What male hasn’t urinated in an unconventional place! Ethan strikes me as the kind of guy who works past the urinals to sit and pee in the safety of a locked cubical.

Why would Quartering ever admit to this?! Like, seriously, why would he willingly tell this hilarious and embarrassing story that makes him look this bad?

This seems like the kind of story I would NOT tell

You know he is SO pissed about this bit! Lmao I hope we get a response from him.

Wonder is he's still obsessed with brie larson lol

A loud sound from the muffler is called a back fire. But kick back is close enough! Haha

You missed a 4th. Pay him a $500 superchat and he'll take a dump in that same drain. Also he's in Wisconsin how the hell does he not understand cheese consumption?

Was having a stressful day, and I absolutely needed this pick-me-up! Amazing, lmao. Thanks y'all, as always!

It's Brie Larson fault.

Qdoba = a bootleg Chipotle. And cue the Quartering marks’ gnashing of teeth.

This was so difficult to listen to, not by the shit story, the constant stopping every 10 seconds over and over. It just became too frustrating to listen to after about 5 minutes.

Omg I have never seen Hila giggle sooo much I love it 🤣🤣

Ethan acting like he doesn’t stink to high heaven.

This reminds me of how a woman in a dress liquid shit at my job on my 3rd day of working there. We were forced to stay open and the regional manager tried to have me clean it 😗👍🏼

Even though it's a funny story, I can't help but feel for Jeremy. I'd be mortified, if that was happening to me.

I love this title. Iconic 😂

Can we get a sound bite “My wife shit in my basement without me”

Imagine you just started your shift at Walmart and you see a brown trail leading to the bathroom

Y’all have literally the most effed up team working on clips. Who would drop clips right before a live, during the live etc. View velocity is a real thing. If a good chunk of viewers are watching the live and don’t click the notification, that’s a negative signal. You won’t be scrambling for titles and thumbnails probably if you let stuff breathe.

I can't believe he did a ____ in his basement holy ____

Does anyone else love trying to listen to a story with it being paused every 5 seconds?

The Brown Mile, Ethan. He was running the Brown Mile

I love it, there was a story from ethan about him doing it in his pants in a casino, also having it down his leg from his description. I forgot at what episode, but i remember it being exactly at the 1 hour of that episode It was after dark #40 😂😂

I am proud to say that I have never had crotch rot. Thank you. Papa Bless.

The brown mile

You so gotta do a Content Court on the channel called Geeks + Gamers (aka Skinny Quivering) and his cronies known by many in the Star Wars fanbase as The Fandom Menace.

You know how you get day croch rot?

If he knew he HAD to go WHY would he have stayed looking for Avo's? Like Bro Priorities better.

The Quarterpeen

Look, i know your marriage is starting to fall apart, but you're not supposed to covet another person's spouse.

Olivia always slays in every single episode, but she was particularly SERVING today

Damn the quartering segments always make me laugh hard 🤣

Soundboard gold

If I made millions of dollars, I wouldn’t care what people thought about me shitting my pants either 🤣🤣🤣

Crotch rot is what guys call the chafing on your thighs when you're fat and walk a lot. Once again, I KNOW this is something Ethan is very familiar with. They're literally like the same person but he makes fun of him anyway

Loving the pettiness

Y'all don't know Qdoba??? Just Midwest things

Shit happens...

WTF with this guy 🤣

olivia is just a breath of fresh air. very cool

The first thing he thought when having to take a shit was where’s the avocados. This is gold

Ethen- {i lowkey get that crotch rot myself} -Audience lowkey cringing.

why are you shaming basements? wut...

Ironically in my walmart the avocados are nearly to the bathroom 🚻 🙃😂

4:00 12:15 14:14

So the dude who did vapenaysh and cool sketches is now peddling drama

yaa olivia 😍 "i didn't, but i would" 😎

His story is absolutely hilarious lol. This podcast trying to bash him isn’t even close to being as funny.

A kickback 🤣🤣🤣ethan means a back fire and also 4 banger from the other episode use to mean 4 cylinder engine

Not sure why I'm thinking about this, but this story has to be made up. Most Walmarts have their grocery sections in the side of the store and the bathrooms in the front. Why he would run to automotive (which is usually in the back of the store) when he could have just walked to the front of the store is beyond insane. So he's either lying, or more profoundly stupid than I'd imagined.

Damn these 2 people are so slow. How did they get all of the following they have now?

Fight Rogan big mouth!!!

Ethan you look like you also do all 3 of these things