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Also, this explains why you kinda stayed with your Ex Husband for so long.. You would rather have suffered with him than go back to your 'past'... Kanti he was just as worse because 'WE' hadn't healed from our past traumas. I say, WE because we stand by you... We are hurt with you.. We will heal with you... & we will overcome this... You are destined for SUCCESS.! Speak your Story...it will be your Victory. We love you sisi wethu❤
I find such comments to be so insensitive shem, kinda like those ones where someone would be telling us that they lost a parent or a child and you'd have people talking about how grateful they are their mothers are still alive, how they just called their mother after reading the post or how they went to hug their kids. Imagine a friend coming to you to tell you that their dad is such a horrible and abusive father, and you tell them "At least my kids are lucky not to have a father like yours".
My Mother Died 1 month ago of heart failure, but it is because she went through hell, my step-father highly stressed my mom out and she couldn't share, because she believed we would never forgive him. It hurts to loose her, I will tell my story once I feel much better. I am sending you hugs Owamie ❤
True, and when you start sharing your story it will be the beginning of your healing. In the meantime, u can consider therapy to let that pain out, so u don't bottle it up for too long.
Mine is still alive. It hurts to watch her deteriorate in that marriage. She once got so sick in 2020, MoGuy called, mind-due I am at work, to say my mom is very il, I should come and fetch her. Her Wife.. yeeeeer
At any point people who are committed to misunderstanding you will find fault in how you express yourself. Don’t betray your emotions by not opting to fully express them (including crying) you’ve been thru an extreme amount of trauma with what sounds like a narcissistic and emotionally immature caregiver. These things tend to haunt us a lot because instead of starting from 0 we end up starting at -10000. You have done extremely well for yourself and should be proud of your ethic and life. It’s okay to still feel emotional because you are grieving for the child/ teen/ young adult in you who couldn’t express emotions and was told to “suck it up”. Create a safe space for yourself and find community in others ….but never betray your body because of who will say what. Let the dead bury each other 💜
@@nganzistefania2856they are there for the woman not the kids,reality is they’ve never been there for their children. Mom’s shield the harshness when they are alive so once they pass there’s no one to protect the kids
My mom also passed from “Heart Failure” after everything we all went through with my dad .. as a grown woman now , I wish I could have a conversation with her about what she was going through.. I was 21 when she passed 😢 … Thank you for sharing Owamie ❤❤❤
Thank you for this, am dealing with this right now. I have blocked my father out of my life at my big age because I have just realised that he doesnt love me. I see this through the bare minimum he has done for me throughout my life its so bad that as a child I would even pick less expensive items because I didnt want to financially over burden him with my needs. Imagine that as a child I already knew I was a burden. Took me decades to accept it but now I have. My father is a Priest and has another family that he loves dearly, I know people will not understand my decision and they will think am a selfish brat. However, am not even bothered, it just makes me happy that I get to fully love myself and learn what love is, because wow its traumatising.
There’s a lot of families that are suffering because their dad chose a side chick over his family. Buying them Gucci bags while his family is suffering. It’s so sad shame.
Just ended a relationship with my baby daddy a week ago coz he's definitely going that way. Am glad i got the courage to walk away. Been having chest pains lately but i know I'll be alright. Thank youvfor sharing.
I remember you saying your father took your mom’s pension fund and not share any of it with you and your siblings.Knowing these kind of narcissists men, he probably saw it fit because he believes he deserves the money since he took your mom to school.
My dad was just like your dad😭😭😭😭😭 atleast your mom was working you continued schooling I dropped at grade 10 because of his girlfriend he used to bring where were staying 😭😭😭 but I forgave them live goes on and my late mom was a second wife
Owami is really traumatized. Having a parent that doesn't help you with anything must be the most toughest forms of abuse. I used to habe a roomate at UJ who was on NSFAS even though her dad was a whole magistrate! A child that suffers whilst the parent lives a soft life is really really nonsense!!
Your story makes me think of the saying: A child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel it’s warmth . So sad that a lot of us had to go through so much hardships from our own. That’s why you’re so blessed now cause God sees your heart and how you are with your sisters and Ray.
I don't know if it's ok to say people carry their pain so well but I YES you babe. You continue to inspire some of us to never allow our past define us or our journey. ❤❤❤
I am proud of you for doing this, because this is you kickstart your healing journey. I also suggest you see a therapist/psycologist to help you unearth and heal your childhood traumas. I am currently doing the same and girl its a life changer.
Thank you for sharing your story ❤ it’s so heartbreaking but there are so many lessons to be learnt. Hope you can now find peace and forgive yourself and truly live the life your mother would have wanted you to live.
Hey Owami… thank you for sharing so much of your life with the world… Thank you for also sharing your opinions and approach… Thank you for sharing your most intimate moments, including moments of heartbreak. This is very sensitive because it sounds like your father had hoped for male children from your mom and lived to despise the reality of having female children from your mom. … while it’s a reality that neither your mom nor your dad could biologically choose the gender of your moms children, he sounds to have been bitter for what reality chose in this regard and for such I am sorry you went through the most. Your father sounds like he had so much hate for your moms children and could not stand to see light shining through you and your siblings. Over and above, life chose you and you remain relevant from birth till to date and one thing that is for sure is that your father is his own enemy… by treating you, your mom and siblings as he did, he has by far reflected so much hate for himself and there’s no saving him. Keep shinning, God is in charge. XOXO ❤
I fully understand where you are coming from Owami and that really hurts. My mother was also everything to me. There are times when you would ask if I am my father's daughter. I had a difficult like as well because of my father and the hurt does not go away. I am still emotional even today. That's pure parental abuse.
I relate to your childhood story SO MUCH!! I genuinely thought it was just me and my brothers 😂😂 wow I knew there was a reason I was drawn to your channel! ❤❤
ooh this video trigers me so much. i had simalar experiences with my father. but it was more of emotional and physical abuse, i was literally scared of him. everytime he would give me money he would say you will pay back my money when you start working. i swear some people don't deserve to have children.
Im really sorry you had to go through all of that Owami ❤ But you know what all those heartbreaking experiences gave us Miss Fear Fokol and this amazing resilient individual that most of us look up to.. And i know your mom would be so so proud of how well you've done for yourself and how you've gracefully carried all your pain and struggles..
I feel sorry for your dad he is in a worse place than all of u ,b4 God,in his lone time ,lives in regret,he doesn't know how to reverse everything, bliv me he wishes he would have done better,u r not alone some of us have really become one with u,when u cry we cry,when u laugh we laugh,when u r angry we get angry that an impactful life❤❤❤
I'm so appreciative of being a carpenter's daughter. Never ever shouted wipped i mean y'all 😢nothingk. He just showered me with love ALL my LIFE. And he adored his nurse of a wife. My late dad even made school furnishings and our house lacked of nothing. He passed then mum 15 yrs later😭😭😭❤. How i miss my parents. Just wish everyone had loving parents. This world would've been a better place❤❤❤
Wishing you healing, light, love and peace... We are proud of how you are owning your story and for speaking out... Sibaningi with toxic parents... I watched videos about healing from toxic parents on RU-vid and that helped me realise that wow I'm not alone, crazy or disrespectful at all... It is a common occurrence to have toxic parents whether it's your father or mother... Take care of you hun it gets easier
Eish your mom is absolutely shero big up to her for all the struggle that she went through just for you to be the person you are today. She must be so proud of you and you will never lack for you do for siblings and... 👏👏👏😍 Stay strong ninja!
Flip, Owamie . . . You know I have been procrastinating watching this series because I know how real you get when it comes to telling your lived experiences. I am half way through the video and already unions have been peeled and cut. I am just wondering how I am going to cope with all 5 parts. Our parents really do a lot of damage in the way they raise us. I am just consoled by the fact that you are here today full of Strength and Light in spite of what you went through in your entire life's journey. 🙏❤💯
I'm so sorry Owamie for your sad part. It's painful and proud of you for coming out, more so that you deal with a lot of people who are hurt in either way. That's part of healing my sister and I know for a fact that you will give your son all the love and support that he needs all because of what you went through. May God continue to bless you and pls don't forget to pray. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
May God continue to bless you, grow you and protect you. I’ve watched all the Ads as offering. You are doing great with taking care of yourself and siblings inspite of everything you went through ❤️❤️❤️
Very much relatable: my father (who I call a sperm donor) did a similar thing with my education(FYI: He was Venda too), and people in his family think he took me to school. What I concluded is that majority of Venda men who were raised in the 50/60s don’t believe a womxn can become educated and make something of herself. Two they had a bad childhood, don’t know how to be Dads and we’re not meant to be fathers. I became so much happier when he passed on, the world is so much better without him LITERALLY!🙌🏾
Im so sorry Owamie. I wish your mom could have had the courage to leave and I i somehow believe she would still be here if she had packed her kids and left. This video will help others out there cause staying may just be killing you. Thank you for sharing.
This was so tough to watch. I relate to the fear and walking on egg shells. I still struggle with the how I felt relieved once he passed. But ke healing is not a linear journey.❤
I am not making any excuses for your dad, but it sounds like he has deep childhood traumas to the point that he stopped bonding with anyone after standing in as a parent to his siblings. Something just went wrong in his brain, but as a black nation and males, we never want to face those traumas to he point of no return.
I fully agree because u’d find out that they were also abused somehow as children and take out the anger on their children and family. It’s very painful and now u watch them changing when they get older but the trauma never lives.😢
Owami.. My sister... I actually got introduced to your channel through your story times... & i loved you from that. I always knew you had traumas from your 'past' & Commend you for finally having the courage to tell your story. You are so BRAVE.. you Inspire US.. keep going... We will ALWAYS be behind you.
Ohh man, my queen, I really understand what you have gone through , I wish him to live more years and see your achievements, your achievements will show your dad that he was a just a father by name, look at you, you have risen against all odds, I admire your courage to tell the sad and difficult story, you are the number one, and everything number one like Malhazi said ❤️ 💙 💜
Yoh, baby girl 😢. I'm inclined to call you baby girl today because I'm much older than you I'm 53 and I take my hat off for you for allowing yourself to be so vulnerable about your upbringing and the traumas associated with it. My story is a bit similar in terms of parenting style, but ironically it wasn't my father for me, it was my mother😢. And if my dad died at the stage when your mom died, i know my mom would have put me through hell. So, somehow I was more fortunate than u, bcos she only died 8 years ago and my dad is still alive. But you are brave girl, and allow yourself to cry girl, don't feel bad about doing that on screen, that shows the depth if how human you are, how wounded you are and how you have become resilient through all that. Childhood traumas always brings out deep seated emotions within us, and the more we talk about them, the more the healing journey becomes easier. Just let that pain out nana😢
Oh Owamie Owamie cc. I don't even have words. I genuinely wish that your mom was still alive (I don't mean to say this to hurt you or something 😭). I'm so grateful that she showed you so much unconditional love while she was still alive on earth. Even now while she's on another astral plane, I believe that she is watching over you in spirit and is so protective over you and your sisters . 🥺❤️. You are such a goid big sister, I don't care no matter how people paint you. You remind me of my own big sister so much as a result when I see you, I see her and I feel like you're ny internet sister 😂and that is because you guys share the same qualities. This must have not been an easy video to share. However, thank you for being vulnerable with us❤️🥺Thank you for showing someone out there that they are not alone because in all honesty a lot married women are married alone, they carry the household alone while the man lives his best life and while he is seen as this great man😩
You are too blessed, too anointed, too gifted for your father. Sometimes they cannot carry the gift that they are given, it’s too heavy and with time it will become understandable. He was just a vessel, not the reason or purpose 🙏
I am very fortunate to have a loving father, he’s very supportive, we had nothing when we grew up, but my father was always there ❤. I’m sorry queen ninja
Ninja, I'm not gonna lie. This is the first time I hate a person I've never seen or met. yoh! I don't like your father at all. I'm not even interested in his side of the story. 😭😭😭
The fact that you feel bad to acknowledge that you deserved better. You narrate your story as though having your basic needs met is entitlement. It was always your dad's responsibility to take care his his children……..It's so sad💔
I am so sorry you had to go through that Queen Ninja ,i went through the same situation ,my father left us when we were young my mother had to ask for food for us to eat while he was working and earning a decent salary.
so sorry Owamie for ur trauma i feel ur especially coming from a loving father who did everything for us and made sure we have everything but passed away early
I wish absent fathers knew the trauma their girl children go through 💔We spend all our lives healing and unlearning.We also live in fear as well trying to avoid men who are like our fathers,and our children being fathered by men who could damage them like we were💔
Owamie im so sorry you had to go through this youre amazing. Your mom….. simply amazing. I just have one question your mom was a nurse and i assume she had a good salary what happened? Could she not support you? Or maybe some form of financial abuse and manipulation from baba. Eish this is so heartbreaking. You are in our thoughts i wish you all the healing you deserve queen❤
I was also kicked out of the house by my mother and ex step father at a very young age. The trauma of being homeless scarred me for life. I’m in my thirties now and thank God everyday that I can finally afford to live on my own. Thank you for sharing your story, Queen. 💖
Don’t worry Ninja. He will get his Karma. Even on his death bed he will get what’s coming. ❤ look at you know. All gown, doesn’t, independent, vocal /‘s flourishing despite the narcissist old man.
Medunsa people have always been considerate in terms of helping each other with food, and the usage of each other’s student cards to get food. I know that experience,and you sharing about it just brought back some memories
Mina we never got pocket money but there was always money for alcohol. They never did our hair. School ended at 2 . We would be fetched at 6 . We were not rich but we were not poor. Priorities
I am so sorry owami this should even make you push even harder because this person stressed your mom to death . I thought your father would be better n the relationship will be fixed but hearing that about your mom n all k get pissed 😢I am sorry
