ppl need to realize that no matter what their man looks like, NOT EVERYONE WANTS HIM 😂 date someone you're really attracted to and work on your self esteem bc an ugly man won't make that any easier I promise
@amberevol tbf, you can think someone is ugly but still appreciate someone for their heart and personality, but if you value attractiveness a lot, you probably shouldn’t date someone ugly
I will forever laugh at people who are on tiktok saying beauty standards are killing us and promoting a mindset of “we are all beautiful” but then go around calling others “medium ugly” and just openly calling those you don’t don’t find subjectively attractive “uglies”. It makes no sense. At this point, everyone is a hypocrite.
Especially when they're examples are guys that (at least to me) are actually pretty handsome, they're just not they're type so they're called ugly for such miniscule things 😭😂
@@chickensalad3535 I do agree with this and as someone who is not conventionally attractive, I believe in this 100%. However, I don’t think it’s right to be calling someone ugly publicly online for the entire world to see. You should keep it yourself. Even if you don’t think they are hot (by your standards), why would you publicaly express that?? It makes no sense. All these influencers be promoting acceptance but then hypocritically call certain celebrities “medium ugly.” Beauty is subjective. Not everyone is “hot” but that doesn’t mean you need to come for them.
Gen Z not knowing people like Mick Jagger existed. Nothing is new under the sun. Gen Z didn't introduce unconventional handsomeness 😂 Get over yourselves
@@peachesandpoets No is saying they did, it's just that for a while a lot of people's definition of "unconventional" is really just "not really my type, so medium ugly"
Something I’ve learned over the last few years is online and real life are 2 completely different worlds. What people “claim” to want online, is not actually what people go after in person for both men and women
Incentives changed. It's an attention economy, nothing can be banal, average, everyday. It has to be the best, or worst, with no in between. Obviously, for normal people that aren't overly online, that isn't the case. There are people whose personal business interests depend on constant engagement (be they influencers making youtube videos in a hobby space, politics, etc). This is also why boring, everyday events in the news immediately have people claiming some elaborate conspiracy behind it.
I just deleted my comment because it was basically this. People criticizing don't realize how average they are.... Delusional, people nowadays for straight up delusional.
If I had a gf that called me “medium ugly” it would destroy any self confidence I had in myself, ugly is such a cruel word to say to another person especially your own partner
do you guys really care about what women say? You should listen to your woman on important stuff. Like in that scene from the movie Vice when he decides to stop drinking. But apart from that, and apart from a woman like that you shouldn't take this kind of bs seriously. In general women understand very well that we don't need the same kind of ego boost they do. They're not gonna be careful or exactly kind to you just because you want it. She will give you the respect you impose on her, tho. That's what I do with my wife. I always gave her the princess treatment, but when we were dating she watched how I communicated with my friends and decided she could diss me. I didn't get offended, I just explained to her that dissing is a two way street and how she does not understand the utility of it and how it is important for men, and how if she kept that up the princess treatment would end up soon enough. She cut it right then and there. But, like, it isn't like she really cares how I feel. You should not expect that from women.
@@ghfudrs93uuu I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a woman that I'd have to treat/manage similarly to a child, or one that at base doesn't give a damn about how I feel. A short-term fling maybe, but eventually you want a partner that is going to become family, and if they don't care, they aren't family. Better to be single.
@@Xanaduum Women don't care, dude. There isn't much you can do about that. And do you really want them to care? Seriously, if my wife pushed me into receiving the same kind of attention I give her I would be constantly annoyed. I see a lot of young women nowadays following this discourse about being "emotionally available" and yadayada, but they also complain about it in the same breath. You are seriously better served with men with these conversations. You'll get much more of the lightness of tone and honesty that you need. Do you want a woman to appreciate you? Work your ass off and let her see it. She will gladly take care of you as much as you take care of her. But asking her to care about how such and such left you emotionally fragile is not gonna fly. She will never admit it, tho. As per the paternal tone. Yeah, I didn't ask to be here either, but it is what it is. It is not the entirety of my relationship either.
As a guy, I think “medium ugly”and “unconventional beauty” are ruining beauty standards, Timothee chalamet isn’t unconventional he looks like a model. Jeremy Allen white is in amazing shape, has clear skin, good hair, and is not “medium” or “ugly”. I could talk about it for hours, but essentially you’re just calling attractive people ugly, and further perpetuating unreasonable and unrealistic beauty standards.
@@RyanWithAnE yes, that's what am talking about, sorry. The other guys are not my type, but Timmy is. But of course there's other ppl who could find them attractive.
@spicy1pastry yup. 5'7 is the worldwide average height. I am 5'10 and taller then so many men irl.It's the redpill eqivalent of calling 25 year old women old.
@@srizangupta1957 while I 100% agree with your statement, for my family personally, we are very much above the norm seeing as my mother is 5’10”, my father is 6’2”, I am 6’0” (female human/biological woman), and my brother is 6’4”. but then again we are mixed with some of the tallest populations in the world: literal Vikings from Scandinavia and Maasai Kenyans. 🌍💛💚💙
Getting older is one thing. But what people seem to be completely oblivious about is that all you see of Chalamet is an image, nothing more. You know nothing of him. Who says he really is that ethereal, both physically and mentally?!
That a super slow connection to draw considering that there are constantly women who don’t get the Hype about Timothy saying they don’t find him hot at all and thousands of Girls simply over him .. its almost as they got individual taste🥴
its mostly americans and americanized people that actually care about all that heigh stuff, im from south america and you regularly see guys that are like 5,4 having a girlfriend and a social life without anyone making fun of them or even making comments about it
The whole “ugly guy gets a hot girl and treats her bad” reminds me so much of Big Ed from 90 day fiancée. Like he’s not good looking at all, yet when he gets with Liz who’s cute then all of a sudden cheats on her multiple times. Disgusting🤢
Isn’t it statistically proven ugly guys cheat more, something to do with issues with not getting woman lust over them over them or something like that or who boost. Either way dating someone ugly apparently means a higher chance of them cheating 🤔
@@megchippendale529who tf made up that statistic?😂 A bitter incel woman who called her ex ‘ugly’ after he’d already cheated and broke her heart. just like a miserable bitter man when a woman leaves him
Yep. I’ve liked societally attractive people and people others didn’t think were attractive. When you like someone that’s all that matters, if YOU think they’re beautiful.
I'm a 39 year old Millenial, so whenever I hear Zoomers say that Timothee Chalamet is "unconvertionally attractive" I scratch my head, because white "pretty boys" like him have been hugely popular since the days of 80s and 90s teens movies and pop groups (e.g. New Kids On The Block, Backstreet Boys, NSync, etc). The boy bands also were non-maschismo, usually singing songs about their feelings and how well they were going to treat their partner. He's a handsome, white, rich, successful actor... Nothing unconventional about that combination.
Yeah, that makes me giggle a little, acting like things known for ages are some 'newest trends' and giving them some silly names. Women (I mean those who are old enough to have a master's degree) always liked medium-muscled guys, toned just a bit, the most on average. There were always those who liked more boy-like men and those who loved more dad-like men. Trends in media are trends in media, you can't change your preferences just by what's seen more often in media. It's like conservative thinking that being exposed to gay people in media makes you gay.
Timothee Chalamet looks like he could be the son of the main guy from 16 Candles. I really can't remember his name, but they have a similar facial structure. Definitely not a new "type" of attractiveness.
@@peachesnola7860 Anthony Michael Hall The thing is that Anthony Michael Hall was actually 15yo during the filming of 16 candles. He was far from done with his puberty. There is a bit of an artificiality to his and Timothee's beauty. I knew guys who looked like that when I was young, and they did not have a lot of success with girls. I think that smooth appearance may look great on camera, but doesn't really translate to the real world.
honestly i feel like the internet serves as an incubating echo-chamber that gives people nerve and provides the basis of commonality to antisocial ways of thinking. that is to say: it gives people the nerve & they forget how the real world works.
well articulated, i adore your way of wording things ! it is as if for some individuals the fact that they are interacting with living, breathing humans and not words on a screen dissipates. the incubating echo chamber which you mentioned only narrows and further warps peoples minds, creating more of an in group and out group mentality amognst them, and given the emotionally charged nature and lack of nuance in online discourse, breeds more hostility to anyone seen as part of the out group (outside that echo chamber).
I feel like women calling guys “medium-ugly” FEELS like the equivalent of alpha males talking about “high quality” women :/ idk how to exactly describe it lol
What’s wrong with saying you like high quality women? - Not an alpha, but I’ve always used this as a compliment to women whom I hold in high regard. Usually, women I find beautiful, fun, and whom are well educated. They have class. I don’t think “high quality” = “medium ugly” in the slightest.
@@mattkriese7170 "high quality" and "medium ugly" are not equal in meaning but moreso in the vibe of the 2 statements. Like, both statements are unnecessary comments that come from a place of superiority and are inherently judgmental. The alpha male decides that he can decide what defines a "high value woman" and then spreads that judgement outwards; if there are high value women, it implies that he has decided who "low value women" would be which is kind of a weird thing to say/decide. It's judgmental and disrespectful because of the intent, what it implies, and also gives you insight into the character of the person making the statement, that being that they are willing to be outwardly judgmental and rude to people who are probably just living their lives. It also gives you insight into the person's values and what they expect, that being perfection, purity, aesthetics, etc. While "high value women" would, in some people's mind, be a positive statement that is most likely being said with good intentions, perhaps as a compliment. Its also just kind of a weird disrespectful thing to say, because you cast judgement on the value of someone as a person based on factors that you personally value. You are grading someone based on your own personal rubric, which is kind of not a great idea because that's a person with their own thoughts, values, beliefs, etc, and not a homework assignment. In this way both statements achieve the same thing. When people say "medium ugly" they are casting judgement and grading people based on personal standards that are not objective truths, its a casting of judgement in a more directly rude way than calling someone "high value". I guess a good way to think of it is that calling someone "high value" is deciding a person is an A+ and calling someone "medium ugly" is like grading a person D+. the issue isn't, "why are you grading that person low? that's mean." the issue is, "why are you grading people at all?". P.s. i use "you" alot, but im not directly referring to you specifically in any way, its more of a general term.
@@mattkriese7170it's the whore-madonna issue. Men who think like you usually only think of women in two extremes: she's either a Madonna (aka a "high quality woman") or she's a whore not worth your attention. She doesn't even have to be a whore in the literal sense, but that you'd only see her for what you can get from her physically...
Adam Driver being medium ugly is hilarious. Brohers like 6'3, shredded, deep voice, big hands(that people have pages dedicated to) and great hair. Yes his face is slightly goofy but he has 95% of whats needed. Most people are lucky to have 2 of the things he has.
Look, say what you want about Jeremy Allen White attractive-wise, but I've never understood why people categorize him as ugly because in my eyes, he looks like those Greek male statues. His face has the same proportions as a lot of men depicted in Greek art, body along with that. The nose, chin, forehead and curly hair combo, the chiseled body.... he looks like Michelangelo's statue of David
Really shows how beauty standards change over time. I didn't know who he was before this but I think you're right, and that's absolutely crazy he's getting called ugly.
I think I don’t like him because he is too white idk I’m Mexican he’s been dating Rosalia and my friends called me crazy for saying I considered rauw Alejandro (Rosalia’s ex) more attractive
I’ll never understand why some women are so NASTY to their friends’ boyfriends. “you could do better”, “why do all the pretty girls go for the ugly ones” “he’s not that cute” like excuse you???☠️I didnt know yall were sharing🧐
I feel like women who do that to you or fans of celeb women who say that about their favs bf just want to fuck them. Cause unless thwor behaviour I'd wrowithib their character, what does that got to do with me???
Honestly that Sounds Like horrible Friends. Like unless the Guy is also Just a Bad Person, what does attractiveness have to do with it? Maybe the guy has super cool vibes, maybe they share a Hobby, maybe Hes really good in bed, maybe He Just knows how to treat them right. Maybe Theres a very specific Thing they do that you find sexy. Hell, i was falling for my Partner by the time He washed Up the dishes during our second Date. Because He was sweet, He was settling in comfortably in my space, He Made me feel super comfortable. Reducing your Friends Partner to how they Look on paper is just the shallowest Take you can have to me and tells me you dont actually know much about the Relationship.
I had a friend like that. We are not in contact anymore. The weird thing is that she seemed like a genuinely a very sweet person who obviously didn't do it with a bad intention, though looking back I have to seriously doubt that. I had known her for years (8 years) and she was always very kind to me. She also liked my ex as a person and they were friends. She just genuinely thought it was okay to tell me I could get so much better. It was mind blowing. It was also funny because I have androgenetic alopecia and don't even have any hair, so like for many men of any looks I am wayyy under their standard and it was funny that she was implying I was apparently so much above him and could get "so much better". But it still hurt me so much. Maybe it was a cultural thing to speak one's mind and speak out opinions like that, idk, we come from different cultures. I was also a virgin at the time of meeting my ex and then later she was like "Oh I wanted to get you a good man back from my village in Azerbaijan but now I can't anymore because you're not a virgin", like wait WOAH.
Dating site statistics are not an acurate reflection of the real world and you are doing yourself a huge disservice by assuming that they are. The only information you can learn about someone on dating sites is about their physical appearance, as you can barely learn anything about a person's true personality from a dating profile, not to mention a lot of straight men are pretty bad at taking flattering photos of themselves. Also, women tend to avoid dating sites more often than men (especially sites notorious for hookups like tinder), resulting in the amount of men on dating sites outnumbering the amount of women by a huge margin. Because of this, men tend to swipe right on any woman who they dont find ugly, not being very selective, while women on dating aps are incentivised to be a lot more selective of physical appearance than they would be in the real world. A woman might choose to only talk to conventionally attractive men on dating aps because if she talked to more average looking men too, she would have far too many matches to realistically manage because of the sheer overabundance of male options. Whereas if a woman met an average looking guy organically in the real world through mutual friends, work, hobbies etc., she would not only get a far better look into his personality and how he carries himself, but she would also not need to directly compare him to a bunch of other men, meaning she would be far more likely to be interested in getting to know him and dating him.
I have participated in calling men ugly I won’t lie! Buttttt I keep that shit to myself. Why would I go onto the internet and openly call ppl ugly? I feel genuinely bad for them. It is not ok to call strangers ugly unprovoked. Edit: this applies to calling ppl medium ugly or surprisingly attractive. I understand the sentiment and have liked comments like these before but if you think abt it would you want to be called that?
For real I would not be calling people that not even online. They are real people. I mostly think it’s better when the celebrity responds to that person so then they feel embarrassed for doing that.
The main issues is, that people are chronically online and overstimulated by "pretty faces" and now compare each other and everyone all the time instead of going outside. Society unlearned to be polite and to keep their mean thoughts to themselves. What happend to "individual taste?" and "everyone is beautiful in their own way?" TikTok is a hellhole for beauty standards where every day there is a new toxic trend or another toxic term to put people in boxes. I'm so glad I deleted that app 4 years ago. Also I tell my bf everyday how handsome he is. Why would you hurt your partner??
@@NFX Right. But there's a difference. Most men are looking to find a good woman. Women seek out bad boys and try to change them. Vast majority of men will never be able to have a no transactional relationship with someone who loves them whose also at equal looks as himself.
Every time someone brings up 'dating a slightly uglier guy so he'll definitely be loyal', I think about Jay-Z and Beyonce and I know that shit isn't true IN THE LEAST.
Real. That's just because he's JAY FUCKING Z, and can basically use his copious amount of clout and money to successfully cheat and Beyonce quite literally can't do that much better than him outside of his looks.
Lots of "ugly" guys take out their frustrations on their partners who are of their league as a form of control. And THAT is really ugly. Insert Janet Jackson and practically all her partners.
The thing about the "dadbod" is that it is about not having visible muscles, not necessarily that you're not muscular. I've seen people say that both Jason Momoa & Jack Black have "dadbods" despite having drastically different body types. Hell even Travis Kelce (a professional athlete) got body shamed for having a "dadbod". We're so used to seeing dehydrated actors with visible muscles that some of us have forgotten what the average body looks like.
True! I also find society extremely hypocritical. How many women give birth and are expected to not have a “mom bod” soon after. Celebrity culture is toxic and people need to get out more lol
I personally am not attracted to the “dad bod” physique, mainly because it reminds me of my literal father and how he looks, so if the person I was romantically interested in resembled him even in the slightest, I would probably be disgusted. I personally love maintaining a healthy active lifestyle and so it’s important that my partner have the same interests and body type as me. But different strokes for different folks. People like what they like and will have different tastes and that’s ok! 💁🏽♀️
@@sammierose1150 I said Travis Kelce (a professional football player) got bodyshamed for his "dadbod" and here you're saying you want someone with a healthy active lifestyle? The point I was making is that many body types have been called "dadbods" and that we need to stop comparing regular people to what we see in the media.
@@naomivought9317 filters...made people look like anime on social media...when u get used to looking at certain level of (unrealistic) physical perfection...there's a beauty inflation...then anything less then that perfection is considered outright horrendous
so if a guy is attractive he is more likely to cheat from the beginning if a guy is ugly and a pretty girl dates him she boosts his ego, he starts to believe he can pull anyone (aka even better than his gf), resulting in him most likely - again - cheating if a guy is ugly and any woman is dating him - he’s automatically seen as a desirable partner because he was chosen by woman, so again that boosts his ego the question: why should a woman choose an ugly guy if it doesn’t decrease her chances of being cheated on whatsoever 😁 girlss pls don’t waste your time on dudes who you desperately try to be attracted to. stop this self abuse what’s the point? choose those who you fancy and then decide based on personality. you deserve to live your life to its fullest, to experience pleasure and not to gaslight yourself into liking someone hoping it’ll keep you safe from pain - it will not
the first guy ive ever really fall in love is one of the worst looking guys ive met and i aint joking, when he and i started talking i viewed him as a friend and then got so confused because i loved spending time with him but didnt like his face at all, but somehow i accepted that even tho he had a bad looking face i still wanted him so bad because "inside beauty is what matters" anyway he ended up being the craziest evilest guy ive met so he was ugly in the inside too
My rule of thumb: don't date a guy whose face has to "grow on you." I didn't have primary attraction to my previous longterm ex-bfs cuz when I was younger, and I thought choosing a partner based on looks was "shallow," but dating down didn't prevent my ex's from treating me like shit. Physical attractiveness is definitely higher on my list of priorities now. Besides, men WILL NOT give a woman a chance if they don't find her attractive, so why should we?
Commenting to up the awareness that some girls genuinely find “medium ugly” men hot. It’s so weird having to justify to your friends why you’re with someone they deem is beneath you.
yeah saying it’s a cope is so insane to me? like timothee isn’t ugly we just don’t like himbos 😭 they all have weird extra medium ugly faces but no one talks about that??? obvi everyone’s eyes are different i thought we learned this in grade-school lol.
It’s wild to me that you need to call your partner “ugly” to your friends by saying “I’m just attracted to medium ugly guys” which is incredibly insulting, rather than just saying “my partner is attractive to ME - f*** what the rest of you think”
@@BoringTroublemaker These kind of people exist, when society has bred them and accepted certain women to say or gossip about some guys being ugly and thats why they still exist. If simps just didnt accept them that way. They propably wouldnt exist at all then.
@@t-bonetyrone ??? But not everyone is attracted to those who are conventionally attractive tho... A lot of men and women I know actually find things that are deemed as "unhealthy" (like wrinkles, under eye bags, different body types) much more attractive than what's healthy, such as the conventional traits that you may be referring to, I myself being one of them. Don't get me wrong, a lot of people still find those conventionally attractive beautiful, however we still may prefer someone that doesn't fit that category. So while you may be correct scientifically, socially things may be different ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (Sorry if that doesn't make sense to you, i'm not the best at verbalising things 😭.)
@Madzillah_ Wrinkles, eyebags, and body types other than what is conventionally attractive can be perceived as such... If most, if not all other factors are conventionally beautiful in contrast or adds to their facial harmony. Just like your eyebag example, people with "dead eyes" have lower eyelid exposure, and a negative trait in most cases turned into something sought after. It's not so much because that one trait is bad, rather than every other trait is decent if not above average. I understood the point you're trying to make, but usually, people can't explain why people with features that would make them unattractive in most scenarios can get away or benefit from it.
literally that guy is full of shit when every “super hot bod” is underweight or dehydrated to look like that 💀 yet we don’t call underweight people (who are the majority of models) ugly but the ideal. i WONDER why that is? Is it because starving people look sooo healthy? Or could it beeee something else? 🤔 🤔 to make your muscles look good, your body has to lack hydration. like bro stop when you’re wrong.
@@robertmclean1106not really either. I'm 5'6 and everyone my height says they are 5'8. 5'6 to 6ft is the normal range of male height. 5'9 is the halfway point of those heights, hence it is the average height. So no a short male is outside the normal range which is below 5'6. Also as a 5'6 guy there isn't even a big difference between me and a 5'10 dude, not even in pictures. Yet these very guys are the ones to call me very tiny, like mate if my eyes are at you mouth or nose I'm not that much smaller than you..
Aaron Taylor Johnson was the definition of pretty boy back in Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging (2008). Til this day I feel embarrassed for that title.
Me too! One of my first crushes was Edmund from the chronicles of Narnia and in my opinion, I thought Chandler Riggs in the walking dead was pretty and still do.
There is a clip from the Dune press tour with Zendaya and Timothee, I believe they were asked about their favorite food recently/something good they ate recently and Zendaya bursts out laughing and looks at Timothee saying “We don’t eat” while they both laugh about it, like a trauma response. As someone who recovered from an ED, I can imagine how hard it would be to starve yourself to look good, and be told you’re still too fat despite it being totally out of your control (age is a common factor as our metabolism slows). Anyway, seeing that clip broke my heart, celebrities are human too. Can we please treat them like humans?? Edit: Found the video the clip is from, its the Buzz feed best friend test with Zendaya and Timothee (just type that in and it should come up) from the 1st Dune movie press tour. The clip I’m talking about starts at 41 seconds and the question is “What’s your favorite snack” for those who are wondering/want to go watch it themselves!
thanks for pulling up further details for others to check out. the internet so often just becomes a game of telephone we're valuing truth of information lesss
No Fr. I was confused at first cuz I was like he looks the same. I didn’t even notice the fuller face until someone pointed out to me. But he hasn’t visibly aged at all. No wrinkles, full head of hair, he looks healthier if I’m being honest. He almost looks younger to me because he has a fuller face.
Sometimes i think about this one time my pretty coworker told me she doesnt like hot guys. She only goes for ugly boys so she can feel like the pretty partner😭. I was in shock because my ex was so gorgeous. I miss when we would stop kissing just to admire each others faces because we thought the other was so beautiful. I’d hate if i had a partner that just wanted to get with me to make them feel better about themselves :(
As an average-looking dude who has dated women who I’ve always thought were way tf out of my league, this hits a little close to home 😂 Are you saying they were with me so they could feel hotter?? That’s messed up, but also I wouldn’t change it even if I could
This is all just so exhausting. Being a 5'6 bald guy hasnt granted me alot (almost none) appreciation from women. Im not bad looking (ive heard i have a good looking face, nice eyes since theyre different colors), but ive had to "compensate" by going to the gym, pumping up, cutting calories to the point of starving myself and so on. I was always a gentlemen and have interests like playing music, cooking etc. But i was never "badass" enough. And now this?? dont get me wrong, im happy short kings and "half ugly" dudes are getting their time in the sun... but Jesus Christ why cant people (Women AND Men) just like what they like instead of going off of what social media and trends tell them is hot or not? My own friends never understood why the girlfriends ive had or even the girls ive been interested in are beautiful to me. I like pretty girls, sure, but i find them the prettiest when they have SOMETHING that makes them imperfect. My ex had a bit crooked teeth, another was a bit buck toothed, one had big ears, another had a little extra fat and so on... imperfection makes beautiful
I miss the days when accepting another person's physical flaws and learning more about who they are as a person was normalized. I always accepted people for who they are and never have been the type to focus on someone's perceived physical flaws. Actually, sometimes it would be the very thing that makes that person attractive or intriguing. Furthermore, that's probably why I've always loved women so much because I can find beauty in them all. I focus more on the things that make someone beautiful rather than their flaws. People are so shallow and judgmental nowadays even irl. I've withdrawn from society, focusing on my craft and my girlfriend I met in Dominican Republic 4 years ago who I wish to get married to very soon. I don't want to have anything to do with all this toxicity that has been going around. It's sad and pathetic.
@@xcitebyte People have always been critical of others' physical flaws. It's just that people in the past didn't have social media shoving it in everyone's face 24/7, so it only *seems* worse now.
I also love cooking food, and playing music. I spent ~$3.000 on my sound system and it can play FLAC files with pretty much 100% accuracy to how it sounded when it was recorded. You can nearly feel the texture in the air. I play music on them even when I sleep, but opt for more minimalistic tracks in those hours. Women can't appreciate this.
Interesting video! But I think your missing an important point: Imo so many people are bitter about "ugly" men dating women more attractive than them, not because they are "ugly" but unbelievably low effort (unshaven, crazy hair, no skin care, etc.). Like if you think about everything women are willing to do to boost their appearance (make up, hair extensions, dyes, epilation, laser, skin care, diet, exercise, shopping, spending endless $$$$) to still end up being called mid like Margot Robbie, it would turn anyone mad lol It's the resentment from the expectation to constantly work on your appearance all your life when some random ass "ugly" men who barely invest any care into theirs (and won't because that's not MaNlyyy) can just come about and be accepted for who they are. And like you said yourself, the opposite is very very rare (attractive men who go for less attractive women), so I think there is a lot more to this topic that can be discussed in terms of double standards and how both gender are for sure not upheld to the same amount of "effort" one needs to put into themselves.
Hair and skin are mostly genetics, also women put more effort into themselves because they have makeup,extensions,dresses,jewelry etc etc. and yeah guys also have their things but much less, they mostly rely on genetics. Also I dunno even why I'm commenting I think this argument is sooooo retarded (with All respect to the mentally challenged people), it's like regressing into superficiality and aesthetics as the most important thing in life
The problem though is that you have to actually choose to change in order to shift the culture. Men have to choose to do skincare and/or women have to choose not to wear makeup. And we both know neither of those two things are going to happen. Both sides will be convinced that its the other side that needs to change, because its much easier to point fingers than it is to change something about yourself that would be worth changing. no ones forcing you to get unnecessary expensive laser treatments, just as no ones forcing men to shave their face. Therefore, everything will stay the same. Unless you force or choose change...nothing will change.
@@milodavis9820more and more guys are changing and caring about their looks, that's why looksmaxing came about. Too bad it's still attached to toxic ideas about women.
@@jamiewilson1532 True i think we are seeing a rare shift in culture in that way. Which proves my point that the culture has to change in order for people to make an effort, because people follow the cultural norms. However no, i wouldnt say looksmaxing is rooted in toxic ideas about women. That doesnt make any sense to me considering the looksmaxxing movement is completely based on oneself and not others. And more specifically, men... not women.
A lot of people don’t understand beauty is based a lot on culture; If they lived in another culture, they’d think what they as beautiful now is not beautiful.
I feel like Leonardo DiCaprio had this same effect when he became big. Soft, romantic , lover lead. Same with River Phoenix too but he sadly passed away before he could reach his full potential in the industry.
@@TiktokBro154 but average ugly men are also picked so wheres the excuse for that? Also these ugly guys who are rich are with pretty girls who are RICH too 😂 bfr now
I’m so glad you mentioned Adam Driver. He has a huge female fan base in the Star Wars community. It’s funny though because those women were dunked on by other women in the fandom who think he’s ugly but also dunked on by men in the fandom who say they only like Star Wars because they think he’s hot 😭 you just can’t win. Love all your videos!!
I mean, he is ugly. He's not proportionate and he's just goofy looking. He was propped up as this thirst symbol. It's fine that some people think he's attractive. It's not fine to try to sell that to a wider audience. No one would ever treat a woman on his level of looks that well. And the women who criticized him being propped up as a hottie are smart and know that. It's always uglier and older men that people try to tell us are hot. If it was the same for both sides, no one would have a problem. But the world is trying to tell me that Pedro Pascal and Margot Robbie are the same level of attractive.
The Star Wars Fandom is a contender for the worst fandom as far as negativity with the most infighting. Racist, sexist, misogynistic, etc. It's the 4Chan/8 Chan of fandoms. 🥴💀
It's so weird to me how people feel such a need to voice their opinion on how other people look, man or woman. Like why do you care so much about how someone looks that you dont even know? Just strange behavior.
That's how I felt whenever I got trolled online back in 2015-2016 on Instagram by other gay men and straight people. Like, why are y'all so pressed about the way that I look ? Basically, they wanted me to hate myself because they didn't find me attractive. People need people to feel ugly. It just goes to show how disgusting their spirits are. The crazy thing is people treat ugliness as a crime. If you're conventionally attractive, you basically can be a terrible person. You can be mean, a groomer, an abuser, a drug dealer, or scammer as long as you're attractive. People don't care if you're a decent person who happens to be conventionally unattractive. Being ugly makes you being a decent person go out the window lol. I'm just glad I don't care to ever have friends or to find a partner anymore. The only social interaction I'll receive is just from my family. I feel like people are too weird for me.
I know a lot of people say this but I truly mean it. I am extremely attracted to personality. For me it is EVERYTHING. If you have an attractive personality, your appearance WILL become attractive to me. Period. Same as if a literal model comes up to me but their personality is off putting to me, I don’t care that everyone thinks you’re the hottest guy in the room, I will NOT be able to see it. Once I’m attracted to you as a person, everything about you is hot to me, obviously?!
Yeah. I see a lot of comments here about "don't date someone who's face has to grow on you" and I'm like uhhh, for some of us almost all faces would have to grow on us to at least some degree.
@@jin394I saw that on a thumbnail of a video from one of these anti red pill channels and thought the same! I watch those channels regularly for that sweet female peer support, but sometimes it disturbs me how their advice seemingly comes so close to the redpill "rules of life". I'm not aspiring to be a female version of these "I only date perfect tens" men and I have an aversion for that mindset. I do enjoy the contents of these channels to a point, but I can only take it in small portions and I disagree about a lot. I personally see men who really turn my head maybe once a month. Men are mostly like faceless mass to me, they don't catch my eye like that. But when I get to know a man, if they are a good person and good company, it's almost like I'm looking at a different human being because they become very aesthetically attractive and pleasant looking to me.
There's no such thing. Have you noticed all this "medium ugly" or "hot-ugly" guys all happen to be famous? It's just women adapting their threshold because of the status. If Adam Driver was an average dude working on a gas station, no one would think he's medium ugly; just ugly.
Yep, pretty much. Sad, but that's just how things are. Can't do anything about it, except deal with it and move on. No point fighting back. It's not a winnable battle.
yes and no. Dure there's a little bit of that, thr girls obsessed with the boy in thr cover of the magazine. But, there's the other side to it, which is that they don't know how to communicate what they want. And tbh don't quite know what they want. You're gonna see it a lot in life, if there isn't someone clearly pointing to it it will be invisible to her. Nobody called these men ugly n the first place, but she can't simply say he is hot because she got no memo saying so. Just look at this whole video, what she is really describing is a sociological phenomenon, a change in the tiktok zeitgeist. Because that's actually more important than whatever is the reality of things. As a man you have a much better grasp of who you are and what you feel in absense of the group.
@@ghfudrs93uuu Did you even watch this video? Because your comment directly contradicts the points Madisyn makes in this video. Comments like yours prove that no matter what a woman says, there will always be some men like yourself trying to misinterpret and misconstrue her argument in order to dismiss her opinions just because she's a woman. "Nobody called these men ugly in the first place, but she simply cant say he is hot because she got no memo saying so" wrong. Many people online ARE calling these men (and other more unconventionally attractive celebs) "medium-ugly", thats where the phrase originated from. In this video Madisyn points out that men labelled as "medium-ugly" by some people online are often not "ugly" at all, our beauty standards have just been heavily skewed and corrupted by social media / the internet. She explicitly says that she has seen people call adam driver "medium ugly" on the internet, but she disagrees and says that he is a fairly good-looking guy, he just has more unusual / unconventional facial features than most people are used to. She even points out that Adam Driver has features that are conventionally attractive too, i.e. he is tall and has nice hair, so she finds it strange that he is referred to as "medium-ugly" when she doesnt think he's ugly at all. The other examples she mentioned, Barry Keoghan and Jeremy Allen White, are often referred to as "medium-ugly" or "unconventionally attractive" by people on the internet (especially places like tiktok), Ive seen it myself. Just because YOU personally havent seen people call these men medium-ugly doesnt mean Madisyn just made it up for the sake of this video lmfao. So not only are you wrong that "nobody called these men ugly", but you're also wrong that she "cant say he's hot", because she actually does call Adam Driver good-looking, and she says that Barry Keoghan is an attractive guy. It also doesnt make sense for you to say that she needs a memo to say these men are hot, because when she is calls Adam Driver good-looking and Barry Keoghan attractive, its in direct response to the people she has seen on the internet call them medium-ugly, i.e. she is actively disagreeing with the women who call them medium-ugly, not looking for instruction from others to say these men are hot.
@@ghfudrs93uuu "what she is describing is a sociological phenomenon, a change in the tiktok zeitgeist. Because thats actually more important that what is the reality of things" first of all, she is a commentary channel who makes social commentary videos about common trends, movements, communities etc. she has observed online. That is the whole point of her channel, so why is it a bad thing to provide commentary and express opinions on online sociological phenomena? I dont see what point you are even trying to make here. You imply that because she's a woman she has hardly any grasp on who she is and what she feels without a group, which is not only ridiculously misogynistic but its also just a frankly bizarre, nonsensical conclusion to draw from this video. Her being interested in discussing and analysing sociological phenomena doesnt mean she's incapable of thinking for herself without a group. Additionally, what "reality of things" are you even talking about in this context? Attractiveness and beauty societal, cultural and personal, not to mention highly subjective. There is no one true "reality" when discussing beauty standards, beauty standards and conventional attractiveness vs unconventional attractiveness are inherently a sociological phenomena.
I saw a lot TikTok’s where ppl (mostly girls) saying that they can’t watch shows with ugly ppl. And giving examples. I’m so shocked bc in the last few years we’ve been talking so much abt TikTok toxic beauty standards. So it’s strange seeing ppl behave this way. This goes into the “how to get a guy” TikTok’s I’ve been seeing where it’s just emotional abuse. And when ppl say that it’s not ok or compare it to abusing women I see a lot of ppl saying it’s not abuse. It is still abuse either way. And shouldn’t be laughed off. 🙈
Honestly, I feel like we've been led to believe that conventionally attractive men are going to be jerks. Plus women have always been more lax regarding men's appearances than vice versa.
@@alexisreve1 no I THINK you misunderstood me. Women reject men who they don't find attractive. It means women are dating attractive men, and getting their heart broken and divorcing them. 70 % of divorces are initiated by women. It means conventionally attractive guys are more jerks then you think. And they keep taking advantage of it. Look at dating apps for example, women swipe right on tiny minority of men and still are frustrated with dating. It means women are hitting out of their league. Bar for men is not low anymore. They have to conform to strict beauty standards now, way more then women.
I'm a pretty chill/introverted kind of guy, and ive been told thoroughout my life that I'm conventionally attractive. Id say it seems that I struggle to find people to connect with/have a relationship with and it can be quite lonely. I often feel people are nervous to approach me, and for the life of me Ive never met a women that didn't think I was an F-boy just from looking at me, in fact Ive been called that few times upon first interactions. Ive even changed my style multiple times and everything..no use.
@@milodavis9820 That's probably partially due to the introverted/shyness as it makes it hard to go up to people and sometimes people perceive you as someone you're not because they are solely going off of how you look as you probably aren't speaking that much. That being said women aren't one entity and everyone has different likes dislikes and opinions and obviously there are shy girls too as well as loud ones. You'll definitely find someone but as introverts we don't tend to date as much and therefore we don't tend to have as many relationships as regularly as other people. Basically what I'm trying to say is don't compare yourself to other people, just be yourself and just prove people wrong (perceptions can always be changed trust me).
0:28 short kings saying it's at 5'8 are u fking serious. The male AVERAGE height world wide is 5 fking 7 women. Being at 5'10 really makes it feel that im almost considered short. You all do realize the AVG height was alot shorter, not too many decades ago. Acting like the freakishly tall 6'4 to 6'6 is somehow normal when its a tiny % of men.
Your definitely 5ft 7 and triggered lol but if calling 5ft7 men short kings bodyshaming and ridiculous which it is then so is calling men 6ft 4 and 6ft 6 freakishly tall body shaming as well. That's just a way for you to feel better about self because your not considered tall as a man.
@@tazzy4624 Depends on what's behind it. Calling a dude short in this context has the idea behind of it of "you are unappealing in a romantic light to the vast majority of women". Calling a dude freakishly tall in this context means "you are tall enough to be above the norm". Not really associated with as much negativity
Saw a girl saying she was into taller men. Asked her what she considered a tall man and she goes "Hmm, at least 6'1". Which is wild to me considering that she was 5'0.
I'm always suprised at what society chooses to pick apart by targeting small details on groups of people that don't diminish who they are as a person. Why is it always necessary to scrutinize flaws any regular person might have? Also, everything is subjective you will never have an opinion that every single other person on earth agrees with. If it isn't benefiting anyone, KEEP. IT. TO. YOURSELF! Having preferences is normal and I would even say healthy, but belittling someone for something as basic as "they aren't my type" is stupid. It doesn't need to be said.
I think the rise in “medium ugly” men has less to do with actually finding them attractive and more so the halo effect ppl get when they see someone conventionally attractive with someone who isn’t, they come off attractive just by proxy, plus women seem to think dating someone ugly will make them less susceptible to get cheated on when it actually doesn’t lol plus there’s this idea that dating someone “uglier” than you gave you a boost in ego
Wild mindset that dating someone "uglier" would give them an ego boost. When people see her with some ugly man, no one's thinking "Woooow, she's so cool". You also don't look prettier next to them. You look like someone dating someone unattractive and the only thought people have is lol wtf
Absolute banger of a video Madisyn, and my favorite one yet! You touched on this from just about every conceivable angle, including the ego aspect. That's what it all boils down to really, people comparing themselves to others to lift themselves up/put others down. If you want to see someone's character, pay attention to who/what they consider ugly and how they talk about them. Ultimately we do need to abolish these oppressive beauty standards for everyone's mental health, but change starts at home. "Ugly" people deserve more than just romance, but respect and compassion too.
i feel in some of these cases “medium ugly” is just a ‘trendy’ way of describing mildly unconventional hotness Especially with celebrities It’s important to remember what we find attractive is very socially influenced and as such is influenced by systemic discrimination
You can contributed it to living in a system, where racism, sexism, colorism, misogyny, misandry, and white supremacy are ruling over what humans we find attractive and hot. Mainly, it comes to determining who is worthy or unworthy..😐
I just think it is so unbelievably hypocritical to fight for changing female beauty standards and then turn around and openly and unabashedly insult men who aren't conventionally attractive. like how is that not part of the problem
Sounds like a taste of their own medicine. Women put in a lot of effort looking pretty, I say it's fair game men start doing the same. *_Body Shame Men!_*
For years my fiance' and I worked for the same retail company (so we'd often work at each others' stores if any of them were short staffed for the day) and the amount of people I worked with who went out of their way to talk shit to me about my man being "unattractive" or saying some mean shit about his appearance to my face was mind-blowing to me. I never cared what people think because he's attractive TO ME and he treats me well (we've been besties since meeting in college 12 yrs ago and he's wonderful) but it surprises me how people feel entitled to warrant their unwanted opinion about someone else's appearance for no reason. Appearance doesn't detract from someone's heart/character, so I'm not sure why it bothers people so much, especially when THEY don't have to wake up to that person every day. It's just mean-spirited and that's what real ugliness/unattractiveness is. 💯 These toxic beauty standards for men & women need to die already. :-/
That’s wild. Like you said, I never understood why women feel the need to do that type of shit. Like that’s bold af to tell someone their SO is ugly to your face
Yeah it’s contradictory to say the least, we preach about inner beauty & what’s on the inside yet are quick to call people ugly or mid without even speaking to them. I get we have preferences and different ideals but since when do we need to state it. Like you mentioned we all have different types we are attracted too. A lot Of these celebrities especially woman that are considered the ultimate standard of beauty have had plastic surgery too has anyone ever noticed that? I mean they say Bella Hadid it the most beautiful but look at all the work she has had done. I’m sorry people were so cruel about your boyfriend. Men in general age better I think so 🤷♀️
@@lordgrim355same I could never lol even if I didn’t think my friend had a hot boyfriend I’d always say they were cute or nice looking, only if asked. And leave it at that.
WHY why do so many women I KNOW call their boyfriends MEDIUM UGLY!!! LIKE ARE U GIRLIES TELLING UR BF THAT TO HIS FACE?! that is insane. i would never call my partner ugly, becuase why tf would i think that about my partner. i love them they’re beautiful!!!
And that's you, not everyone that attatched to their looks that they will have a mental break down if they are called ugly. I just know you will lose it when you start aging.
Thanks for the video. I think I can feel the trend you are describing. I'm 5"8' and always was really skinny, few years ago I also had long hair. Attracting women was effortless, some were openly inviting. Recently I got a lot of muscle and cut my hair. And now it's hard, women seem less welcoming, more judgemental and boundary conscious.
Interestingly, most women don't respond very well to masculine looking men. I know for sure I'm like that, and the men I feel attracted to always have this soft masculine/slightly feminine look to them. I believe it's because we find masculine looking men threatening, but it's more of a subconscious reaction though, not necessarily intentional.
I don’t think it’s you, I just think they’re less likely to approach a more masculine looking man. I don’t think they’re any less attracted, more women are def attracted to that more masculine look, just that maybe you filled a niche before where since you were unconventional, the women who liked you were willing to make it more obvious
@@Ryan-cb1ei Maybe, but even beefed up, I don't think I hit the treshold of masculine for many women. In other words, women are more attracted to exceptionally masculine looking men, which I am definitely not because of my height, and I had better attraction when I filled a niche of unconventionality.
i think people with unique features and “different” looking faces are so so beautiful. people like adam driver and tyler the creator are unique looking and so so beautiful to me
yes as a painter i agree!! saying those women are just delusion discounts that there is no prescription for perfect beauty like JAW looks like a statue, stahp. (it’s also very, ‘women don’t know what they’re talking about let me explain what she really means’-ish?? like no bro she said what she said.)
Cap 🧢. You only like them because they are famous. If they were your average Joe, you would reject them. Even Tyler got rejected before he became a rapper.
@@ilikepancakes2368 not true at all, im drawn to people with unique features and faces and hair and personalities in real life too. dont act like you know me personally and the people ive dated 🙈
I feel like it's also a bit of an American/Hollywood thing where every actor and every actress has to look PERFECT. In Europe, we had and have way more famous actors and actresses who aren't "conventionally attractive".
Girls like a dad bod when Chris Pratt or leo Dicaprio are spotted on the beach in between making movies and not in ideal shape because frankly they prolly just wanna enjoy themselves and dont even need to work out to attract women at a certain stage in their fame/career and just wanna enjoy the feuits of their labor. no women are fawning over non rich and famous guys with dad bods at the beach. If girls liked dad bods as much as they claimed then normal guys would be getting stared at so much as to be uncomfortable. That's exactly what they really mean when they say they like a dad bod, they like a handsome and rich man with status even when hes taking a break from working out because they don't have to be in ridiculously good shape when they aren't filming a movie but he still has the wealth and status of his name and career preceding him. Ask any girl who claims they like dad bods that you got a friend you wanna set them up with and watch the circuits start shorting out. I will never understand these stupid manufactured trends people try to make others believe. And don't get me wrong I'm not saying you need to be a rich and handsome world famous movie star to get girls or anything(tho it obviously makes it like shooting fish in a barrel) but when you don't have those things going for you your delusional if you think a dad bod is doing you any favors in attracting as many women as possible just because a lot of girls claim to like dad bods.
being chronically online its so interesting seeing the pendulum swing on topics about beauty. like it wasnt long ago that people on social media were critiquing celebrities or influencers who rised to fame because people found them attractive and calling people shallow and the whole pretty privilege convo and "people should be famous for their talents not their looks!" to now people complaining on average looking people getting famous and "we want hot male leads in romcoms no one wants to see an ugly dude fall in love" or "bring back it girls/ the 90s supermodel era" (cause they dont want to be seen as misogynistic for calling women ugly) its just soooo odd
Calling someone "Medium Ugly" is like someone trying to be rude, cause instead of insulting them, YOU CAN JUST SAY THEY LOOK AVERAGE!!! LIKE BRUH!!!! Istg people are so pretentious now.
Beauty is really subjective. It's human to form opinions; the crucial part is what we do with those opinions. For example, when I look at some of the 'medium ugly' men mentioned in the video, I find most of them to be attractive, some fall into the 'not unappealing' category, and one of them genuinely extremely unattractive. I don't personally think I am evil for that - we are just animals after all so I might be picking up on a face pattern that subconsciously reminds me of someone, or it's been passed down in my DNA to avoid someone who looks like that etc., but I KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT about it. What would it achieve if I went on that celebrity's instagram and told them I find them downright repulsive? It's a horrible thing to say and would only serve to hurt them/people who look like them who might see the comment. That's also why I am not naming the person. No one is obliged to find everyone on the planet attractive, but I'll never understand the urge some people feel to let everyone know what they think about their looks. Men especially love to do that do women - any time I see a women express an opinion online, there is always someone going 'well you're ugly so'. People suck.
It’s a very “chronically online” thing to justify treating men badly because “men do it all the time”. Maybe just all the places I’ve lived in are heaven, but I’ve rarely come across men who act like how yall describe them to. Most men are just normal people, you just need to go outside.
You are lucky, you never seen it. Plenty of us have seen it. I don't agree with perpetuating such cruelty though. Nitpicking appearance unprovoked is crazy.
Most of these women are chronically online narcissists who beleive their anecdotal experiences are law. They don't care about the male experience, just how they see and what they feel so it much be true. Gotta ignore this side of youtube bro.
She mentioned Billie's comment about how ugly men will date a beautiful woman and act like they own the world, but that's not the only way they can react. I've seen many beautiful, confident women online talk about how their boyfriends are jealous of them and try to knock them down a peg whenever they can!!! Stuff like refusing to compliment their girlfriends or mocking them when they have interests or even get excited and bubbly about something they love. It's truly insidious. I think the thing to take from this is that despite the statistics, you really cant know what your partner will be like until you actually get to know them.
As a guy who likes guys, I think you’ve got to have an imperfection. It’s almost like an Achilles heel. Conventional beauty for me is bland and vanilla
Wish everyone of us could think like u. We all have Achilles heels but unwilling to accept someone's flaws as we are unwilling to accept our own BTW any examples of said heels?
@@fictionlover695 *this is all extremely subjective* Men: Bad teeth, BMI (really high/low), height, build(overly stocky/wiry), body hairiness(some people don’t like that), hair(density+hairline), some facial features. For women there are many more parameters that they are judged by and I don’t feel like channeling the male gaze or writing allat so yeah 👍🏾
I guess because I am of a darker ethnicity it's different for us. Outside of social media most guys will take whatever they can get. This lack of selectiveness has had a negative impact on our dating market value.
I'm gay too and agree to an extent. The main difference between me and women though is I don't find abnormally tall men attractive. Like I don't see how height relates to beauty unless it is extreme. A 6'6 guy is not hotter than a 5'8 man to me, often looks goofy. That is the main difference I find between what I find attractive and women
5'8" is actually average and yet you call 5'7"-5'8" short kings... Then what the hell do you call 5'3"?!? I've got no chance. You say some women have had a thing for so-called short kings, but i have *never* experienced that - EVER!!
21:00 reminds me of that scene in legally blonde where Elle helps out David and pretends that he didn’t call her back after sleeping together and it works because after she leaves, the girls who weren’t interested in him are now interested
Lol! Yeah... Just goes to show how most people are sheep.... It also shows not why but, how people can end up doing atrocious things.... That stuff is powerful and scary how fast people are to follow!!
before I started going to the gym I was into and pursued skinny guys probably because i thought they were more attainable to me,, I remember muscular men being intimidating to me. then when I started lifting,, muscular men became more approachable to me. a year later,, here i am with my boyfriend of 8 months who's a gym rat and is incredibly loving and caring,, forest of green flags,, and I couldn't be happier and more in love.
It’s more the energy you put out you receive. If you’re a gym rat, you’ll probably get into relationships with gym rats. It’s one of the reasons that kept me on the gym grind. I wanted to look better for myself but I also found gym girls really attractive but I knew I wouldn’t really stand a chance if I was weaker or still skinny.
@MalinaTorres She is correct and she should have taken her own advice. Your post is meaningless. She's not depressed nor is her voice bad. But love how her calling it what it is bothers you but you don't blink at making fun of an illness.
@Maialeen RU-vid deleted my previous comment, which was referencing a video. I did not intend to imply the Bille Ellish was depressed or had a bad voice. My post was meant as lighthearted humor for those who would understand the context.
I've had a crush on this one guy for 12 years (was a childhood crush, don't judge. This guy looked similar to Brendan Fraser in 1999. He was my first celebrity crush) He is a great singer, smart, great guy, absolutely the "attractive popular guy" type. I've had people tell me guys like him are players and they wont be loyal and stuff. Now i always knew he liked someone else, and i knew my crush was one sided. About like a few years later when we were a lot more grown up and i talked to him once and he told me that he still like the same girl despite her basically dumping him for someone else, like he didn't have any other relationship. He wasnt a player like some people said. I moved on and got my first boyfriend who apparently was seen as "goofy ugly guy" kinda. I liked him tho, he is a great singer (i have a thing for men who can sing) and he had a very sweet smile. Some people consider me attractive, so when we dated a bunch of them were surprised and sort of congratulating him for being lucky and stuff. Anyways this dude went on to cheat on me for months and even had the audacity to go and post it on Instagram knowing that i dont use Instagram. Its a common saying that "looks doesn't natter, what matters is the personality" but i think these two situations gave me an actual experience that made me understand the saying so much well. And now when i meet someone looks seems to be just a secondary thing to an extent.
While I love Billie Eilish, she does NOT have the best track record with men and who she “chooses” to date. Like old (in comparison to her) guys who are terrible people.
okay so as someone who says this, let me explain 😭 I love unique faces. I love looking at people that have their ancestors on their face, or that has uncommon features, or striking features, or features that seem so particular to them. But I also know that the people that I find attractive tend to fall under “medium ugly” to others. So I say it as a joke so that people see the charm that I see because often times they do exactly what you said- go off about how “ugly” they are even though they really aren’t. I genuinely don’t find them ugly, in fact, very far from it. I just think I’m not into the modern face of beauty.
I'm 39 and have only been in 2 serious relationships throughout my life so far, my first girlfriend I spent 7 years of my life with and she ended up cheating on me with my best friend at the time. When we met I was 25 and she was 23, we both shared a lot of the same interests and were passionate about artwork ( we would draw and paint together ). I was madly in love with her, I thought we were in it for the long haul kids and all. When she left me it crushed me completely, I just couldn't get over it.. I was always thinking about her, asking myself what should I have done differently to not lose her. My self confidence took a huge hit from this, asking myself what I could have done differently turned into questioning if I was even attractive. Or just a bad lover, thinking about things that probably goes through every man's head who's been cheated on ( I know I'm not special lol ).. Like, do I have a small manhood? Oh god lol, what a mess it made of me. Then I met my 2nd girlfriend about 2 years later. And she left me too, didn't cheat on me at least. I became depressed over the years and started drinking, became addicted to cocaine. I was stuck in a downward spiral and it wasn't looking like things were going go get any better. I finally quit both drinking and drugs ( I've been clean for a little over a year now ), started going to the gym and going out more. But I'm still single and ask myself if I will be forever, I try not to think about it too much. I still want to meet someone, but at the same time I don't expect it either..
Problem is most of us just wear contacts 😂 I think I look really good in glasses but why would I want those things on my face all day? It’s really annoying and impractical.
Ladies, if you are dating men who you believe are out of your league because they won't treat you bad, remember that even Beyoncé and Rihanna got cheated on. Men ain't shit, you gotta mind the personality no matter the level of attractiveness the dude has
Wise words! Also proves no one is perfect! In addition There are insanely rich celebrities who may look good on the outside but, are so miserable inside they cannot make a relationship work.... Cough Jlo Cough...
"Men ain't shit " what a lovely open-minded way to view billions of men, do you really believe both Beyonce and Rhianna haven't been passed around in one of the most promiscuous industries on the planet?
I’m an almost 40 year old guy who doesn’t watch TV and has no social media. I usually just watch science and history documentaries on RU-vid, so I’m obviously super disconnected from culture. I stumbled on your channel and I feel like I’m learning so much that wouldn’t otherwise cross my path. Thanks.
I always thought the traditional way men are presented in media (buff super jacked marvel male) seemed more catered to a male ideal. Like Men being presented in a way for men to gaze at as opposed to women. Obviously that’s simplistic and overgeneralised but it’s interesting to think about cos it always seems ‘wrong’ for men to be explicitly expressing desires to be gazed at or to want to gaze at other men
@@RicochetForce Yh totally! That’s why I said this is obviously a huge overgeneralisation. I just meant in media targeted at men, even in the realm of social media perhaps, there’s a particular type of body that seems to be valorised but like through the guise of this is what women want. Which, as u said, is sometimes true but it’s the idk how to say ‘means’ of having to go through women to say this is a body i as a man desire that I think is interesting. Worded so badly, sorry- rlly Dk how to say what I’m thinking.
@RicochetForce Other women online are trying to sell me this idea that hot ripped men are all just for other men and that it's not for the female gaze. I see this more and more. I like men who are really in shape and are hot. I care about looks in that regard. This idea that women don't care so much about looks in that way is popular because men like it and women have once again allowed men to shape their minds without them realizing it.
totally agree i hate ripped/muscles yet 100% of (straight) men i know are clearly attracted to Hugh Jackman, Brad Pitt, and their favorite wrestler. Though there is a minority of women who are attracted to that (comment above is maybe?? a woman? can’t tell) it’s the majority if not all of the male population…therefore it’s catered towards males, not that minority. irl i only knew one woman who was attracted to himbos but she LOVED men 😂
@@Maialeeneh, wmen definitely care about looks but they tend to like softer features. In shape and even dad bods. However, the 80s macho big muscles, overtly masculine, etc, is definitely for the male gaze and what men find sexy in other men and try to attain. You are more or less attempting to do what men do which is put their own view as the only view and that these other wmen are lying. It's almost as if people have varied tastes. You can see with the popularity of K-Pop, boy bands, etc, what the female gaze generally likes and it isn't a gym bro.
I found the example of Timothy Chalamet hilarious because yeah he was seen as a beautiful soft boi, but when he started dating Kylie Jenner there was a huge part of his crazed fanbase that did a HARSH turn on him, and it was all I could think about. I remember reading this crazed post from a fan on one of his dedicated subreddits who basically went on a rant in response to dating KJ that “She had seen the light. He’s just an average frat boy. He’s not a mysterious renaissance painting. She now knows the truth.”
So weird when people talk about attraction solely based on what a woman wants for a father of her children. As a bisexual who does not want kids, it has nothing to do with this weird breeding theory
yeah this was an interesting discussion ofc but i just have to remember this is based on heteronormativity and gender roles😭💀 like can i get some scientific studies/theories for queer/nb people pls
Actually, I'm pretty sure it still works like that for LGBT. I am gay and with a nurturing personality. Would you look at that, I'm into the same thing those straight women are into, even if I CAN'T have children biologically because of my orientation. It's not characteristics related to finding a good "mate" that dictates general attraction, it's based on personality. And people who are more nurturing tend to look for those who seem more likely to be soft and committed, rather than people who will use them for a quick fuck
The thing is that it always feels clinical and alienating because nobody actually EXPERIENCES attraction that way. Evolution can tell you why something persisted - it can't tell you how it feels to experience. I don't look at beautiful women and go: "She'd make a great mom." Consider hunger: when you're hungry, you aren't thinking about survival and starvation. All you actually feel is the sensation itself - you imagine the pleasure of eating a good meal, you long for the food. If nutrition was all that mattered, we wouldn't eat junk food. No human emotion is this simplistic when examined in detail - why do we assume sexuality is the exception? My guess is that we're still quite sexually repressed on the whole, more concerned about what we should want than what we actually want.
Omg! The whole “a guy having a partner makes him more attractive” - I thought that shit was fake until I was talking to my long term bf about it, and then some of my friends about it. Back in 2019 I went on a business trip, and brought my bf along. He had the afternoon to himself so he walked about the city, and stopped at a bar. A woman sat next to him and struck up a conversation. He casually mentioned he was in town cause his gf brought him along on a business trip. Him saying that, according to him, made her want him more, and he thought that was so odd. Even the bartender was like, “omg that girl is hitting on you. Make a move”. He was telling me, “I told everyone I was in town with my gf. Am I talking to a void?”😂 I thought it was weird too. So I spoke to my friends about it, and their bf’s had experienced similar things. Also, calling your partner “medium ugly”…..wtf😂. You are either attractive to them or not. Can you imagine saying, “hey babe, I don’t think you are that good looking, and that’s why I like about you.” They’d be like, “ummmm, what?”
Everyone is way too obsessed with themsleves. Deleting all my social media was the best decision I’ve ever made.. it’s only been a few months but Im noticing a positive shift in my thoughts. Everyone is becoming so shallow and it’s so sad
Deleted social media as well. It's a toxic wasteland. I wish to create a social media platform with a community that promotes positivity and frowns upon cruelty.
If you’re looking long term, you really should go for someone that you believe to be good-looking. Because you’ll be looking at them for the rest of your life. And marrying someone you think is unattractive seems like a really easy way to build resentment.
True. Still, the personality is the most important tho. So when someone got a partner who has both look & personality, that person is really winning in life. But if I have to choose between the look and personality, I will go for the personality tbh. I just can't stand people with shitty personality no matter how good looking they are.
Love this video!! An unhealed version of me used to go for guys that were “uglier” and around the same size as me and I think it had a lot to do with power dynamics. Being more attractive and the same size as him made me feel more in control in the relationship, like my attractiveness offset his power as a man. I also thought hot men expected perfection (looks, personality, etc) all the time because they have more women to pick from. As someone with AuDHD I can’t keep up the illusion of perfection for long.
You thought an unattractive man "scoring" someone better looking than him took away HIS power? He was only gaining while you were losing. He got someone out of his league so to speak. You got nothing since you talk like you weren't attracted at all and you had the wrong idea about how men act according to their looks. The logic some of you employ is wild.
honestly that just seems like a personal problem to be fr i hope most women have more self esteem to not fall into that trap, as they say it doesn’t make him treat you better…what women usually mean is “unconventionally attractive” but still beautiful in their eyes. that’s 100% what i mean. To be with someone you do deem as ugly and beneath you is sad but i’m glad you grew out of it. but i think that’s the minority…i hope.
