THE SECRET INSECURITIES OF MEN - My Experience With "THE ADONIS COMPLEX" 

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I just love you so much man,you're so real and genuine and such a good role model for self conscious young men such as i, you're a natural born leader and ik you're gonna do great things

Something different here again guys and I just wanted to give some context to how this video came about. Originally I was reflecting on my experience with going to the gym and working out over the last 16 years. I recently joined back up at the very first gym I started at at 15 years old. This made me think about that journey and the mistakes that I made. At the same time I was researching into male body insecurity and had just finished the book "The Adonis Complex". I noticed some cross overs with some of the things discussed in the book and my own experience with body image. I wanted to share this experience with you guys to open up the discussion. I wouldn't describe my experience as debilitating or "serious" but I can certainly say that some of my actions were driven by feelings of insecurity which isn't a good thing. If me sharing my thoughts and experience can open something of a discussion then I think its a good thing. Thanks for watching guys 🤝 I hope you found it interesting.

you are one of the greatest men i love everything you've done i love how you help insecure guys who are balding or are bald or anything like that in their times of sadness or depression may god bless you and give you a happy life

I'm 51 now and as you get older nature will do what it needs to do. Ive always been physically active, my love of beer requires it necessary to counteract it lol. I still do weight training, not to get big or ripped but to keep my bones, joints loaded and my body to not become lazy and as you get older it's important. The funny thing is this whole body shape thing is not just something younger men have to face, have you seen some of the ripped 50 plus your old Instagram, RU-vid, mens health articles how to be a beast in your old age? Its every where. Something strange has happened to our understanding of what a man is. A man is not defined by how you look but how you behave. Be active or train to be healthy not to fit into to what some influencers have determined what is "right'.

I was thinking just last week about getting my "levels" checked actually so this is really good timing. Thanks Harry, and thanks for sharing. As in the hairloss journey, you'll be getting alot of heads nodding along with expressing your fitness journey also.

Mate. This really helped. You’ve helped with the obvious hair loss things over the years. But I still do (I’m a lot better than I was) a decent amount of this sort of stuff at 35 that you did when you were in China. The ‘fear of missing out on exercise or food etc’. It’s nice to know others are similar at times. It does come from a deep rooted insecurity somewhere obviously, which I’m still to find. But take care man. You do good work and a lot of us appreciate you still. Content like this is also helpful with the fitness. Not just the hair loss. Liam

I relate to a lot of the things talked about in this video. For me, a lot of the compulsive behaviors I have around the gym are linked in with shaving my head and being able to have that 'shaved head dude' image. I'm now at a stage where i go to the gym literally every day and the days that I miss or can't go, my mood takes a massive hit and I feel really down about myself. The gym has become a coping mechanism and probably a way of taking back control of what I look like, when the hairloss has taken that control away. Thanks for your honest and insightful video Harry.

I love it when you do these longer videos analysing parts of your life. Really good stuff mate!

So honest and full of wisdom. Appreciate it.

You’ve really impacted my life in a positive way. I appreciate you and the content that you create.

Love this kind of video from you and can really relate as I've been through so many similar experiences to the ones you describe. I think the realisation you made in the middle of the video about process vs. destination applies to pretty much everything in life!

So much of this resonated with me mate! especially your time at university. Buying sups, changing social behaviour and watching ALL the OG fitness RU-vidrs you mentioned! I'm glad in my 20s I've got a far better relationship with health and fitness. I am less serious about it but potentially living a healthier life because I'm less stressed about cals/body image/social situations etc.

great documentary - i agree, that little dopamine squirt you get once you hit the goal is very fleeting and instead we should focus on just being present and enjoying being in the present moment on the way to the goal, instead of focusing on the goal and stopping yourself from being happy until the goal is reached etc.

Nice one Harry, you're the man. A real inspiration. Like a genuine friend that helps build up confidence we all sometimes need. No idea what prolactin is but hope all is well!

Thank you for being an inspiration for making content of my own!

I’m very enjoyed this documentary! Thank you so much for your content!! Very much helpful and needed

Great video, Harry. I used to do a lot of home work outs and became quite rigid about it. There seems to be both a motivating factor about imposing rigid rules on oneself, but also suffering from when you inevitably cannot sustain these. Now, I play tennis and enjoy running. I prefer doing these things at my own pace.

You are the man Harry, thanks for everything, greetings from Italy

This is excellent! I appreciate your honesty.

A very well edited and elaborate video! We all have a stage where we do not look well physically, especially during our adolescence. The important thing is, later, to see the lessons you have learned, to see them from maturity and to know how to identify the good and the bad. I believe that whatever you want to change in your life is fine, always from a control and never reaching the extreme and obsession. Good video to reflect on us

Brilliant video mate 👍

I did just like you when I was a young man. Training obsessively with heavy weights as well as running long distances from my early teens until I was a middle aged man. I never got the results I wanted...changed programs and diet all the time. I often wonder if this had anything to do with my having a major heart attack at 48 years old (was told it was genetic)...9 years ago. My Cardiologist reassures me that the exercise helped me survive what would have killed many. But my whole life changed after that. I now focus on walking, cycling and light weights and bodyweight calisthenics and yoga, but just for health. I don't care so much about looks anymore. I train more for health and to not have any more cardiac issues. I am also dealing with major osteoarthritis, so that has slowed my progress down as well. My point is, well we must focus on health and enjoying what we do. Enjoy the journey and don't overdo it so much.

We love you man🙏🏾

Great video. Loved it. Btw thats great beard length Harry, I think this is your rock to length in my opinion. Looks the best imo

A month ago I was lifting weights in the boxing gym, while others were having a regular box-training session. While doing leg presses I watched them doing some light sparring exercises I really like and I remember thinking to myself: "Wtf am I doing? I don´t enjoy this right here." Back then, I was lifting weights twice as often as attending my actual passion, boxing, because I chased after that muscular body image.

I love this video, I'm watching for the 5th time now and this is my favorite fllm of yours.

This is amazing. Thank you

Bro, I can relate to this video 100% I feel like I'm watching a video about myself.

Hi mate, just wanna say I appreciate what you do on this channel and for helping me be confident about going bald, I'm 21 years old I've been dealing with thinning hair for last 2-3 years and after watching few of your videos I finally picked up the clippers and went through with it and can't say I really regret it cause I think It looks pretty damn good just wanna say another big thanks for actually helping man with this. Keep up the good work dude cheers 👍😃

Thank you so much for sharing

Good video man! And yes I think most guys that lift have gone through these phases. Its easy to get obsessed when seeing all those unrealistic transformations as a natural. Ive learnt that if anything life is about balance. From carnivore to vegan diets a balanced diet is where im really thriving on. And same goes for weight. Being too big and heavy is bad for the blood pressure etc. And too ripped will also throw hormones etc. off balance. You really gotta look at older pictures and see how much progress you made for yourself. Bodybuilding can still be much better as alternative obsessions. Lots of people that dont lift are smokers, or drink, do drugs or fully neglect their body's. Id much rather be obsessed with my bicep size.

Very similar to my story, was fat as a kid and people make joke of me, then I grew very fast and got skinny, start hitting the gym and got bigger but after 3 years I just wasn't enjoying it and stopped, now about 4 years after stop with the gym I've tried to find many things to get fit and enjoy doing but the insecurity of being smaller then I was before occasionally hits me again, it's a mental battle but it's not worth doing something I don't like just for the sake of looking as when I was 21 and with lots of hair! Thank you for the good content bro.

I'm 34 and my test was 13.3nmol/L I need to get back into the gym and try and increase that! Yours is really good!

I must appreciate your english and pronunciation, you are very understandable for non native speakers, great content. :)

This is really good

I know the struggle of searching for the perfect routine, but the best routine is ultimately the one that you stick to and do consistently. Find one that you like, do it and progress it. Comparing yourself to others is fuel for insecurities. Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, as Jordan Peterson wrote so well in 12 rules for life. I might not look like a greek godor even close, but shit, I look 10 times better than that skinny fat 90kg slob who couldn't even run 10km I used to be 5 years ago. Keep grinding! 🔥

I used to be exactly like you Harry.. like staring into a mirror. My new outlook on fitness is to do it for my mental health and if I happen to look good as a result so be it but it's not the primary goal.

Breave man🤛 you can talk about all the reality things clearly and share your experiment transparently . The main sentence in the video is “ using insecurity” 👍

Watching this at 4:00am. Really resonates. I'm a qualified accountant / MBA graduate, who so happens to be a fitness model. I have a very muscular bodybuilder-style physique, with many guys asking me for advice / women admiring my body. Despite having what many consider the perfect body etcetera, it astonishes me that I've never been happy with my body. There are days when i think i look okay, but nothing is ever good enough. Recently I've tried to find answers on why - despite my academic/professional achievements - much of my self-worth is tied up in my body. It certainly doesn't help being a model / good looking, as that has become my identity. But still, in 2023, it's my goal to separate both my appearance and body from my self-worth. I have so much more going for me than how I look.

This is the real deal. Been through the exact same thing. So many of us dudes do.

Thinking about getting hormone panel myself, those elevated prolactin levels look kind of worrying but they could be a one off thing hopefully.

This is a great topic to talk about. I'm the same height as you and also all legs with a short torso haha. I'm your age, bald, and an ex collegiate athlete. I've been in elite physical shape. I then went from 230lbs jacked and in solid shape (natty so higher bf%), to 190lbs and since the shut down. From march 2020 to may 30th 2021 I lifted maybe 15 times total. I hated the way I "looked" even though I had a six pack at 190lbs. I was just kind of flat and weak. However, my hate wasn't from how I looked in terms if aesthetics or to other people. It was that I failed myself. The real hard pill to swallow for me isn't some ideal body I can't achieve, but more so I wasn't man enough to pursue physical progress. I lost my gains from laziness. How I look is just a positive side effect. The lack of work ethic is what was eating away at me. I've been back at it pretty hard so things are looking up. All it takes are habits and consistency. I look at training as a catalyst to life. I think guys need to look at why they train more so than just the physical proof of it.

the backround music is killer

This kinda honesty is really needed , the role of ‘ man ‘ in todays society is so blurred. We have horrendous suicide rates for young men in this country and I’m sure body complex issues are a big factor in this

This sounds very familair. I have always been the tall and skinny guy. Height 192cm about 65kg at 17 years old if I remember correctly. Went to different gyms etc. But being consistent was the big problem. Plus I was always afraid of getting fat from bulking. Pretty happy with my body now at approx 80kg in my late 30s. But it is difficult to not compare yourself to others and not be jealous. Injuries sound very familiar as well unfortunately.

OK I don’t know if a lot of females watch your channel but I just recently ran across it today. Very interesting. Actually an inspiring.. it’s very sad to me that so many men deal with these insecurities, and as a female, I want you guys to know that you know I spend a lot of my time on Instagram but you know as many likes as these guys you know that bodybuild and you know with great hair and all that and get you know 40,000 likes and everything but you know really I just want a great man I’m always been attracted to bald men with great personalities and most of the things that you guys are obsessed about really most women don’t care about. For real.. and we’re dealing with the same problems so we’re both dealing with the same issues.

ive watched so many videos on this subject (best one ive come across so far) to better understand why i have this obsession which is unhealthy, of me obsessing about whether or not i look big and muscular and strong when i go out, do i look like i can be intimidating. constantly measuring my arms, chest and waist to see by the tape measure that im ideally muscular, constantly looking at myself in the mirror for that same reason and when i dont feel it i mentally beat myself up about it. this body dysmorphia has hindered my life where i wouldnt go out as much unless it was to only to the gym but even then i wouldnt stay long because i would start comparing myself to others in the gym and try and one up them to make myself feel better only to fail every time and id get angry with myself very narcissistic behaviour i know. its even hindered job opportunities where i would get fired for snapping at someone because they made a comment about me, doubted my strength for example. somewhere along the way i dont know when exactly i’ve forgotten to enjoy the experience. enjoy the journey of becoming the best version of myself. chasing this idea of physical perfection is exhausting. the fitness industry, movie industry and the fakes on social media are to blame i think. Theres fakes on social media claiming to be all natural, never taken any PEDS, and telling people you buy my supplements or use this Code to get percentage off this product you can get as shredded or as big and muscular as me and the fact people believe it, they are amazingly gullible. ive never fallen for that scam, i been trying to get bigger and muscular naturally but doesnt feel like im getting anywhere. seeing all these videos talking about genetic potential. i used to be really skinny, and one of the good things about lockdown was i did nothing but eat all day and packed on some weight, then when lockdown was over i started lifting weights. but now nearly 4 years down the line i sit here thinking have i reached my genetic limit? will i grow any bigger than this? and then the obsession kicks in again. maybe if i took measurements of what i was when i was skinny and compare to now then i probably wouldnt have the problem i have now. but yeah i think you talking about this subject was really interesting and important too, must of taken alot of courage to speak about it. because it is an unhealthy obsession to think of yourself in a negative light. A man should enjoy the journey of achieving physical fitness, not obsessing over something that he’s been conditioned to obsess over in a insecure way because of the ideals of society.

I hope all is good regarding your Prolactin levels.

I have high prolactin dude! Usually a sign of low t or just aging in general. Something to do with breast milk lol.

Us gay men have an even stronger Adonis complex cuz we are even more self aware and critical for our looks.

💯 agree

Great video and I have a lot to say about it but I can't help thinking you're missing a beat here. You have a channel for bald people, why not a channel for people with body insecurities? You're good at expressing yourself in a relatable manner and I think it would work. Id like see you talk about this subject some more.

Getting big is difficult and you have to obsess about it somewhat for it to happen. You will find that long-term gym enthusiasts have some OCD tendencies. But its never picked up as a negative trait as going to the gym = health, and health is good, right?

I just turned 17 and I’m already noticeably thinning, help me out man. My friends poke fun all the time and I pretend like it doesn’t get to me but it really does. It’s my biggest and only insecurity I have right now. It’s bad enough to worry about but not quite bad enough to warrant shaving it. What should I do?

Bruhh you need to do something for these adds , hella mode killer.

you should read this book “how to fail at almost everything and still win big” it talks about how making goals is not the best idea n how it makes u feel like a loser its pretty good

Thanks mate I need to put On weight

You have the height and good body genetics. Still it is nice you open about it. The older i get, the less I see our body is less important and charisma is key. Being balding and i will take the plunge

We got the same body type 😮

My biggest fear when balding was looking like David Koechner. Now I realize that he has that next bevel confidence.

How did you accelerate your facial hair growth?

not sure about some of those adonis questions, everyone chooses clothes that.makes them look better (more muscular, sexier etc.) and if you're spending time working out then your diet is more important. so take with a pinch of salt

Bro i am 16 and i am balding (just like my father who is bald ), i dont know if i can even grow a beard , when will i be able to grow a beard

So whats up with your blood? The one that is really up in your blood work?

Most of these guys on Instagram and fitness magazines are taking steroids, so it's not good at all to compare yourself to them

Diet plays such a large part of fitness. One of the things you talked about was your intake. All of the powders are garbage that will make you fat PERIOD. Being fat will increase your ability to move heavy objects, but so what? At the end of the day, calorie deficit and surplus simply comes down to ignoring fast food and box foods. The rest will fall into place.

Of course it's always the men. We are the problem, because we are the ones who have the adonis complex. The problem is in our brain, not in the society, where you have to fly to an other continent to find a wife, because women here reject you for your looks even without balding. There were many good thoughts in this documentary, but I don't really like this message. We have adonis complex, because we were sent to this way.

I'm also a gym addict... But you're ok man you just got to cut body fat right now. Diet diet diet

I realy want to fix my skinny fat body

Everybody wanted to be Zyzz brah

it would be great if steroids / sarms / any kind of muscle building drugs never existed.....................

no gym for face or hairline or height..................

You have to grind otherwise you will stay an incel

In short: women. You're getting awfully close to the red pill mate lol.

tall skinny chads with full heads of hair will always get more girls than short buff gym cels...................

Dude, your cluelessness and misguidedness in this story was freaking staggering. For real.