the "soft-life" takes WORK... (don't be fooled) 

I’d love to hear your take on this!! What does living a “soft-life” mean to you? ⬇️

For me softlife is a struggle free life, different from luxury like most people think. This is such a complex subject. I have a 13 year old and I tell her everyday “just because I struggled doesn’t mean you have to”.Live below your means and allow yourself to do things that make you happy while being responsible and realistic. Real life “soft life” is different from social media soft life. If you can pay all your bills on time, afford to eat good meals and take trips and shop within your means you are living a softlife. But you have to work to afford those things, choose a career that allows you to work less and make more.

A "Soft Girl Life" means to me, that, I'm comfortable in my own skin & expressing myself doing things I enjoy/love. Therefore, what I want to do without the dictation and opinions of the world getting to me!

Soft life to me means putting in the work today to enjoy tomorrow

Honestly a soft life to me means doing what I want, on my own time, in my own way, without having to report to anybody. How I manifest that is by running my own business. I work more days and longer hours than when I worked for other people, but in lots of ways it feels infinitely less stressful when I'm the captain of my own ship. in other ways it's much scarier!

I believe you can both live a Soft Life and put in work for your life. You don't have to be miserable and work for what you want. I'm currently building and working, however I'm tired of being miserable while doing it, so I'm working towards a healthy medium.

My soft life is being a mother. Having a partner who takes care of our family and gives me the ability to build a home as well as pursue my passions and have my own business, so that I don’t lose my spark and my ambition. I am grateful to be living that “soft life” right now, but it definitely doesn’t come without work! ❤

Soft life to me is about making choices that support your future self. Choices that are in Alignment with you at your core and ultimately leads to your happiness. Decide what you want out of life and walk away from anything that isn’t that. A Soft life will not exempt you from hardships and struggles but more so allows you space to recognize how to handle those experiences as lessons to learn & grow from not a lifestyle to accept and repeat ❤

Journaling , studying the word of GOD and Doing my skincare routine in a relaxing way ❤loved the video!!

I speak ease onto the younger generation. I hope they don't have to experience what we did to get "life experiences ". I think we often want others to experience what we did to validate their success ,

Soft life in the middle of a recession? If not a depression? How are people going to accomplish that? Resources are limited, and living standards are going down. Wake up, tough times ahead.

So true! We don’t see the hard work others put in for the soft life they display!

Hi Montelle, I’m in my mid-40s and just learned about “the soft life” from your video. I had alot of my life together until I went back to school 5 years ago to follow a new path. It feels like I’m in my 20s again, having to reestablish myself. Maybe that’s why I appreciate your videos, so thanks for making them. To answer your question, life is hard when you “want” more than you have. But life feels soft and easy when you have gratitude, because it brings you into an abundance mindset of noticing and appreciating yourself, others, what you have and the simple lasting pleasures of life. Hope that helps :)

This video was soooo refreshing & REAL. People need to watch this and understand a soft life doesn’t come easy & it requires hard work.

This video is everything!!! I’m in my mid 20’s working a lot as a English teacher, trying estou build my own business and studying estou become a professor one day. For me a soft life is exactly what Montelle said, having time and freedom, especially financially. Last year I was able to save 10K for my emergency funds and this year I’m planning on moving out of my family house. I know I still have a lot of things to do, a lot of work to put on but today I’m having a softer life than I had in 2020 and 2021. I’m working less hours a week and making more money. I know even greater things are coming but every thing comes in the right moment.

Absolutely love this videos. You are very well spoken as well. As a mom struggling with work and just surviving off no sleep, I wanted a soft life. But..... at the same time I wanna work hard, and grind and hustle like you said. It's needed. We can't just skip the hard parts of life. One of my first jobs was Walmart and pizza pizza call centre. Lol. The hard parts of life and the struggles give us knowledge and insight and help us build a stronger character as we age. 2023 needs to be about balance. Your words are very motivating.

I completely agree with you. Please continue to keep it real. Definitely need to put in work to live a soft life. Don’t want a soft life and broke because that’s sounds like a stressful life. Keep the videos coming

I LOVE this video!! I agree with the essence of folks gotta experience life to even know what else is out there. When I began to hear about soft life (I’m older so maybe my context is different) it was about Black women not burning themselves out for the sake of being the super woman. The belief that we did not deserve to live a life of leisure, that it was not possible for someone to actually care for us completely. I am also from the US so my context is from the perspective of a Black woman in the US. There is a general consensus that we are expected to grind and make it happen at any cost, for our families, the men in our lives, back breaking brutal sacrifice. Soft life was this idea that we were more than what we could produce or do for others. I believe it has evolved into something else, which your video speaks to perfectly. But I don’t think that’s how it started. Again I loved this video keep doing you sis. Great content, I enjoy it even if I’m not your target audience 😉

I think 'soft life' for me needs to include the peace of knowing I'm taking care of my future by doing what it takes to make the road ahead smoother, as well as relaxing and enjoying the present.

Soft life to me is actually taking time out for myself and pouring into my self after working hard in my day to day. Especially as im used to putting others before myself.

I love this video! Your voice is so beautiful and you kept it 100% real. Don’t get me wrong I want my own soft life, but right now I’m in my season of working for it. I know I’ll get there in my own time. It really is an illusion with a lot of what we’re seeing online.

Your hair looks amazing.

I feel like ppl find a problem in anything, like if you don’t like “soft life” then don’t participate in it simple

My biggest dilemma is balancing my want to build an empire (finances) and my love for rest and living stress-free 😩

A soft life to me is one where the goal is struggle-free (in that particular area), but not without having gone through the process. Eg. Body - the process is gym, the goal is a healthy body. Career - the process is studying, the goal is a fulfilling career that affords you financial freedom. Beauty - the process is all these regular treatments, microblading, facials, etc...the goal is being able to put yourself together in 10min.

Soft life after a hard work

Thank you for keeping it real! Very much appreciated...it is great to have a more balanced view point.

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 you took every word out my mouth. I was talking over you and finishing your sentences.

most definitely needed to hear this

Simple it equates to. Do not let these people run you into the ground!!!

Your make-up is beautiful

You said it well

I think we should look more deeply at the issue of young people wanting to live a soft life. I don't really think this is a personal desire only but a manifestation of a whole generation that refuses to be exploited. It's not about age. Why do we think its weird for a 15 y.o not wanting to work at a place like McDonald's?

You look so pretty❤

🔥

A hard life is harder though

You have beautiful eyes

Is it just me or does this girl's mouth has Naomi Campbell written all over it? OMG! Even the smile 🤩

The issue is when you have a mate

This video was the blessing of my day, I didn't even know that I NEEDED that video 😭 thank you so much ! 🤍

It takes money and time to live a life of ease.These influencers are pushing all these material things on everyone and they are getting paid for it. They don’t tell the behind the scenes struggles. A lot of them are broke trying to keep up the soft life I get paid for my amazing influence on others. I don’t believe it for 1 second.

I believe living a soft-life is your lifestyle not being forced. Using your own schedule to create that soft life for yourself. For me it’s being humble, not over spending, finding yourself and experiencing to who you want to become.

A soft life would be becoming more finanancially free. That doesn't mean completely eradicating the idea of work, just not having to exchange a whole lot of time for money. Discovering smarter ways to invest my finance and allow it to grow. To just be genuinely comfortable.

I love the advice to young (er) people so much. As a woman in her 30's, who now has a corporate career that affords me a "softer" life ( in many ways), I cannot underestimate the value of the years I spent in low wage retail (which I hated) and fast food. Then, I couldn't wait to escape, but the skills, character, & relationships I gained working those jobs have been invaluable! And I'm much more appreciative for what I have worked (hard) to earn in life. Work can be meaningful even when the job is not the dream job. It's not to say that where we start is where we have to finish. But we can usually glean good from whereever we are.

Soft life in my opinion is still working but with less stress and not working too much.

i want a soft life that's sustainable! i think it was adama who posted about how we use escapism content to run away from our everyday lives and that really resonated with me. a soft life to me is incorporating soft aspects into my life each and every day, while balancing work and the grind

I'm 16, hello! (⁠･ั⁠ω⁠･ั⁠) And I've started my journey of building and understanding myself and growing as a person and if I could have a soft life right now... I wouldn't do it, I learned soo much last year about what it means to change and as hard as it was I would never go back and erase those moments! For me personally, my version of a soft life is being able to travel whenever I want and having the choice to work at a job that interest me. I want to have my main job which I've been working on recently and if I put in the work I can monetize and with much more work I can live off of comfortably, but that's not where I want my work life to end! I know this is going to sound weird, but being able to jump from being a train conductor, an explorer, and a scientist sounds soo fulfilling to me 😅 Maybe I'm just different but that's what the soft life would mean for me: being able to stay at home for a month, and then signing up for a 3 month quest to find a new fly species, or just randomly work at a thrift store for about a month or 2. I just wanted to share that as an insight into what some of us younglings are doing 😌 and I wanted to say thank you as well, I've been watching you for a few months now and you've helped me refine my goals! I wish more of my age talked about things like you do... it's hard finding inspiration in my age group most of the time 🤧 love you all and God bless 😌💌

Realistically speaking I know I probably won't be able to live a "soft life" until my 40s or 50s. For the average American citizen that's the age you can expect for that to even be an option. Social media has been the downfall of this generation I agree with you 10000% on that. Everyone wants to be an influencer rather than going to college, taking up skills that will pay themselves off in the long run etc etc. If the pandemic has taught me anything it would be having skills to pay bills is crucial. You can't get to multiple streams of income by living soft. That takes grind, grit, heart and hustle.

I live the soft life on the weekends 😅

Love this! Such an interesting topic and enjoyed reading the other comments! Personally I don't want to live a soft-life. I think soft-life seasons exist, but intentionally creating a life you love and becoming the best version of yourself does take stepping outside your comfort zone. Growth is uncomfortable. You can't grow and live a soft-life simultaneously in my opinion. 100% agree our expectations are becoming slightly dangerous tbh! We need to build mental resilience and change our expectations collectively - entitlement is the enemy (coming from experience).

I see soft-life as a mindset of "effortlessness and abundance". I'm in law school and don't have the money nor time to do all the conventional self-care trends. My definition includes discipline so my life gets easier with lesser decision fatigue, being grateful for little things in life to enjoy the present with abundance, making more decisions out of an intuitive-overall growth based mindset instead fear-trauma driven attachments. "Romanticism with discipline". Thank you for the gentle reminder ✨💗

A softlife for me is creating a life that I do not have to escape from. I know that challenges will arise and I will deal with them when they get here but I am not in a constant state of fear and worry. To live a softlife you have to work and play in moderation, have emergency savings and prioritize peace of mind by avoid conflict and the people who create conflict in your life.

11:35 - The Book is NOT by the RU-vid creator - it is by Dr Meg Jay, as it says on the front cover. I expect you meant the youtuber used the ideas from Dr Meg Jay's book to create a series of videos.

When you said you will take a job it makes sense because the influencers market is so over saturated.Everybody has a You Tube channel trying to make money.And because of this companies do not need influencers.

Soft life to me just simply means low stress, and being on your own time. I've never taken it as not working, just working and being progressive on your own terms.

This is so true!! I guess for me now it would be taking care of my physical and mental health, and being more efficient with my time. This way I can have more time to enjoy hobbies (which I don't now) and to do more things I love. This will help me feel relaxed too. For me living a soft life is not about not having to work, but about loving your job and having a balanced life. Feeling relaxed and energized daily instead of stressed and burnt out like I do now 😅

To me a soft life is having the time freedom to feel like I have enough time to have Bible study each day, pray, cultivate current and new hobbies e.g learning an instrument as well as having enough time to take care of my house and try to keep it clean. To me a soft life has nothing to do with luxury or opulence.

"Soft life" means that life is easy and free of problems, but we know that this is not true.

Interesting topic. Thanks for sharing your opinion on what the "soft life" means to you. You are a brave voice calling this generation to wisdom and sense. Good for you! I have been hearing the term more and more and I wonder, no real answer yet, how as a follower of Jesus, can one really strive for a soft life? Jesus says that in this world we will have tribulation, but to be of good cheer because He has overcome the world. If soft life means no work, then that is not God's plan for us. Adam and Eve, created in perfection, were to work. But they also had a perfect relationship with God, so could that be my definition of a soft life?? Doing the will and the work that God has created us to do, doing it by the power of the Holy Spirit and His enabling, to God's glory. But that will come with challenges and mistakes that, as you say, give experience and growth. So, would it really be a soft life? A true soft life would be an eternal home in heaven...that is my definition of the true soft life! I think in North America the soft life is how people view retirement. Or how some women marry to have a man to provide and take care of them?? To have the soft life at another's sweat equity expenditure?

WE ARE IN THE CLOSING HOURS!!!!!! THERE IS NO SAND LEFT IN THE HOURGLASS!!!!! REPENT AND BELIEVE THE GOSPEL BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!!!!! JESUS CHRIST IS GETTING READY TO CRACK OPEN THE SKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Revelation 1:7)

For some of us living a soft life means being provided for. Luckily I’m in a position where I’m being provided for so I am able to stay home, do activities, etc. but I’m taking this time to also finish my degree while I have so much free time on my hands now💕 working is finally optional.

It used to be the sugar baby life, just softening it

I love all your videos but this is one a lot of people need to hear. I love how you explained everything !

Soft life to me is the opposite of hustle culture.

Montelle!!!!! Your haaaaiiirrrrr!!!l Beautiful ❤️❤️❤️ Keep rocking your natural hair please!!! It's lovely!

I absolutely LOVE this video. It came right on time. ❤

Thank you for this perspective. So true. I would have to agree with you...and this is the first I am hearing of this ☺️. I LOVE to work and enjoy it! Use it so you don’t lose it ay? ALL those gifts especially your brain! Much💕 *+*

Finally somebody said it!! "Who is funding the lifestyle?!" I provide entirely for myself. Proudly built a 6 figure income - entirely on my own, though. No one gives it to me. 16 hour days for years - definitely don't recommend, but it's my reality. All hard work and determination. I wish I could lounge around.. but I can't. (Partly due to ADHD, people pleasing anxiety and this economy... haha.) Thanks for sharing this message!!

My soft life is being a stay at home wife. I've been seriously partnered since 24 and married at 28; he pays all the bills, plus all my nutritional care, medical care and personal care, plus vacations, holiday gifts, and takes care of what I want and need in the day to day to live the softest, sweetest life possible 🥰💖 I take care of the house and when I'm able, I decorate, cook and bake for him, plus stay as healthy, creative, fresh and pretty for him as I can. Living a working life in the conventional way is the opposite of the soft life. I have a micro business, but I only work when I want, how I want, and where I want because it's a creative venture that I'm in total control of. He pays for that too 😘 My little business is all about creativity and bringing people joy from a feminine perspective. It brings him joy, too. My suggestion is for females in their teen years to study hard in becoming the best, healthiest, prettiest version of themselves as possible and then learn how to find true love with a great provider. Busting your buns, darling, ages you faster- inside and out, as far as I understand it, and it's stressful all around. Meanwhile, I'm at home, pampered and perfumed, loved and cherished by my husband and excited for life. Sure it takes work to keep the home, make holidays special, keep pretty and in shape... but it's much less stress and work than trying to be feminine in a masculine working society.

I was just thinking about this topic this morning and I stumbled across this video. I woke up this morning and sat on my phone, then got in the jacuzzi(where I'm staying has a spa) and then showered. It hit me that i was living a soft life as I have the freedom to do so and not rush or worry about being late. The soft life that is portrayed on social media is not soft because you have to plan photos, videos, pay for locations and etc. which is a different form of working. To me, soft life is about having the freedom to do as you please, even if you are "working". The soft life means you aren't rushing and have time to genuinely connect with others, nature and yourself. Its being able to sleep in on a weekday morning and go to work when you feel like it. Its cooking dinner and not having to worry about using all your groceries. Its buying non essential items without worrying if you'll need the money for gas. Its buying chipotle with extra guac and not stressing about the extra $2. In short, the soft life has little to do with Luxury items or vacations but more about how much leisure time you have to enjoy life.

A soft life to keep us a financially free life ❤

You are 👍👍👍👍👍👍💘💘💘💘💘🌞🌞🌞🌞

Thanks for keeping it real

It is interesting 🤔 you made a video about soft life. I was thinking about to my brother today.

The problem with softlife, as a BM, is that BW still dont understand the social contract that it's a give and take. They dont want to put in the work to be attracted to the right man. There is nothing in this video that points to that. Yes, it's about working on yourself and being the most comfortably feminine version of said self, but a big part of that is understanding the social contract as well. Soft life is boss chick and city girl lifestyle 2.0.

Love your videos😍😍😍

I love how you kept it so real ! Love eett!

That’s crazy that you say exactly was I was thinking to myself with those thoughts. For me, soft life would be practicing more gratitude and being present in the moment. That our “purpose” is our own beliefs and we don’t have to tie it to what society wants us to be at certain ages. That in reality, why are we in a rush? Who are we trying to impress? Accepting that it is okay to want growth and more, but that I also have everything I need. ❤

I really like watching your channel because you are a clever woman who is realistic about how things work and share that with your audience, rather than being full on influencer trying to sugarcoat everything. I admire your authenticity and willingness to question the narratives that are trending on social media. Definitely consider you a positive resource in this influencer saturated world we live in now. Keep on sharing your wisdom and insight!

Thank you ❤ ❤❤❤🎉 new life loading

Great video! What mic do you use😅

Oh my gosh, I love all your videos!! This one speaks to me the most. Life's been a grind... 😭❤️

Thank you!!!!

LOVED THIS MESSAGE! 🤗 Definitely received! Thank you for this 🫶🏾 The soft life for me is less of not having to do much and laying around and pampering myself. It’s more of working for the things I want! 😊Setting myself & future family up for success! 🫶🏾