Aw! Thanks for sharing your story about Joseph. He's adorable. May the Lord bless you for all the time and love you have invested in all the children you welcomed into your home.
I''m happy I came across your channel. Like your family we have to bio sons and have been fostering for almost 5 years now. We got our son at 4 days old straight from the hospital and we were blessed to have adopted him during Adoption Awareness Month on11/22/21. you said it perfectly how you felt about him. The bond that I had for him was like when I gave birth to my older sons. God had written us into his life and us into his and I wouldn't change a thing! Wishes for a very Merry Christmas and much love to you all.
It’s awesome that the boys where able to go back to their own parents. We’ve never thought of fostering but have recently adopted. I knew as a kid I probably would adopt as I’ve known I can’t carry kids but have 3 biological kids. We have just got a 4 year olds who has had a difficult past, but we love her and we don’t care that she’s regressing a bit especially as I’m a ex pre school teacher so we are hoping we are able to help her. Idk how I’d care for kids wanting to running away, that parenting sounds hard. I think God wanted u 2 parent Joseph!!! I know my daughter has no siblings biologically. We wouldn’t have a problem with that tho. I wouldn’t know he’s no biologically yours if u didn’t say but I come from a family of 2 white patents and have black family members who are biologically related but when we look down the line it makes sense and I don’t assume that someone’s family is all the same nationally. My kids don’t either.
Thank you so much for sharing your family story 💝 It's so beautiful how God forms each of our earthly families! Congratulations on your recent adoption ☺️
I'm happy for you and for him. But my heart aches for the birth family. Only saying this because if the rules were different, if parents could have more access and time with their child, generally, maybe reunification would still be a possibility? Some reunifications might take more time? It makes me wonder if parents are even okay with adoption in the first place, even when they agree to it. Are they doing so because they feel that time is up? :( Sorry, I don't mean to be critical, I understand how touchy and hurtful this is.
Thank you for your thoughts. Unfortunately without getting extremely personal, most cases the parents are given extended amounts of time to show progress in the ability to parent. There are often other factors, like a history of older children being removed over and over again. Believe me, I too struggle with heartbreak that all parents and children can't be together 💔. My mother's heart breaks for other mothers.
@@TheWhites6 You are a truly compassionate person. Someone else might have blasted me for even suggesting what I did, and you didn't. -- I have been seriously contemplating fostering to adopt, without doing very much about it, as I am single and would do this alone. So it's a tough one. Thank you for receiving my message with so much kindness and understanding. I wish you and your family all the blessings in the world.
Adoptions are unnatural. Unfortunately, they are often the best alternative for a child. That doesn't mean the child doesn't experience trauma from the experience. Even if he/she buries it deep in their psychology, isn't aware, and it isn't obvious to the parents. Try to keep in touch with the bio-parents, e.g., through social media, ask their social worker to provide contact information in your child's file for the future. This is a true act of love as your child may want, or need, to know them in the future. This doesn't mean your child won't love you. Simply that he may have future needs that you can't anticipate right now. And contact with his biological family may help him. I speak as an adoptive mother who loves her children and listens to what adopted adults say about their experiences.
Thank you for watching and commenting. I understand your viewpoint that adoption is not natural however I would say a child not being able to be with their biological parents ( for whatever reason) is not natural or maybe better said, ideal. Adoption in my opinion is a beautiful gift from God for both the child and adoptive family. I'm sure as an adoptive parent you'd agree the love, connection and feeling of "family" is or can be just as strong regardless of a child's biology. And I 100% agree, the baseline event of being removed from your biological parents is traumatic and should always be kept at the forefront of any adoptive families minds. As a trauma informed family, we are well educated on the trauma that happens even while in the womb! I wish there was a way for all adoptive children to maintain a connect with their biological family's but unfortunately if the other parties are not interested, there is little we can do, other than keep that door open ( which we have). Praying many blessings on your family ❤️
It certainly is a grieving process, as it is whenever someone you care about is no longer in your daily life. Ultimately, we rely on God to comfort us and trust that He loves, guides and protects the children. The most important thing is to maintain the mindset that even though it might be hard to say goodbye, the time spent safely with us, was worth it.
Can they appeal the adoption if it’s open? The visits are retraumatizing her and idk what to do. I don’t want them to appeal it and keep having visits but I also don’t want her to see them the rest of her life
By "open" do you mean the adoption has not been finalized and signed? Or it's been finalized but you have agreed to an "open" adoption meaning there is some amount visits, phone calls etc..? If it's finalized, the chance they could appeal the adoption is slim. If not, then, yes, if they are not in agreement with the terms you want ( no visits) then they could drag out the process. Ultimately, if you truly believe the visits are retraumatizing and will not get better, and you have some proof ( from a counselor or someone supervising the visit), I would go before the court to amend the adoption terms. I hope that made sense and helps!
@@TheWhites6 It’s not finalized but I’m thinking while deciding to do open or closed that if I do closed and they appeal it she’d have to see them the whole time. I’m a therapist myself and I see firsthand that the visits are retruamatizing, and the woman who does visitation and her state case worker agree. If I allow visits after adoption can they still appeal the adoption for some other reason, or are they not able to appeal at that point?
Yes, until it's finalized she will still be allowed visits and if you choose closed and the bio mom doesn't agree, she can drag the process out for quite a while, until it can be proven a closed adoption is best for the child. Once it's finalized, rarely will those terms be changed but she could always try. Often families will choose an open adoption but with very strict stipulations on very minimal visits, like one or two per year, supervised with the option to not allow the visit to happen if the parent doesn't meet certain criteria.
@@TheWhites6 I don’t think you get my question 😅 You’re saying that they can appeal it if you choose closed adoption but if I chose open isn’t that still a risk anyways that they could also appeal the open adoption just to maintain control over the situation
@@emilyyoung9285 yes they can always but it's very unlikely the terms of the adoption will change if you have abundant documented evidence of what terms are best for the child. That is the whole reason the adoption process takes so long, to give the state and courts enough time to collect documentation to prove what's best for the child and not have to go back to court after finalization.
