This theme of quietly suffering has been a focus for me. In group discussions ive "vomitted" my inner pain AND healing thinking that im releasing myself from the inner pressures of my story and being an example of what healing could look like; but i started rethinking this and woke up one day and decided that i was done with that pattern. I realized my shadow side was only serving myself as a martyr. The theme of lacking substance came to light for me as well. I thought i was ready to teach on a subject but realized my knowledge wasnt orderly and precise enough to share. The embarrassment and shock of putting myself out half-naked.😆 I now practice saying "thank you" for all lessons knowing that while my ego may be swelled with false pride my soul has alchemized gold. Im a Sun♒square Saturn♉. Transiting Saturn hasnt reached my Sun yet but i hope to be more purified when it does.
So much of this resonates -- start to finish. 🙏 Suffering in silence -- yes. It's dear and intimate and just hasn't/doesn't feel like it's meant for everyone -- hardly anyone. Yes to the room, the space and dimension created. Worlds inside -- not sure how to share because it's painful but precious. 💜 But there is that wish that there could be a sharing (be known/seen). However, the solitude seems like the best way for the suffering to be felt and processed. Tenderly held. Thanks for this -- the "permission". I've wondered if there's something "wrong" with me for not posting/sharing.
Quietly suffering with Saturn opposing natal Sun since last year, when Saturn dipped his toe in Aquarius ....by sign... and soon enough...by degree..."killing me softly"....Thank you for this compassionate and relatable discussion. It was comforting to put words to the complexity happening within.
I, too, appreciate what was said about suffering in silence instead of having to communicate it. With Mercury in Libra in the third house, I tend to want to be heard but have never found it particularly healing. Instead, it's better for me to heal it privately and then share any wisdom I might have gained from the experience.
I too have my natal sun in Aquarius, 10 degrees, so have had Saturn sitting on it for so long now. I’ve really come to know myself over this past 18mths now thanks to this conjunction. It’s been so hard but also so good. I am really looking forward to what will come next year when it moves off my sun.
@@solanasally3618 I have Mercury in Libra 12th House. My thought process is similar to yours. I have accepted over time that my beacon shines just a little brighter after I learned lesson and share my wisdom with you. Keep on Shining!!
I've suffered so many losses over the past 3 years. I'm at a point where I am trying to process the why, what, and how of it all. Your explanation of suffering in silence gave me an 'aha' moment. As I listened I noticed my breathing became more meditative and cleansing...an indication of my soul's approval, and a true sense of healing. It really comes down to me and my soul. I understand exactly what you are saying about the soul loves secrets. Thank you so much 🙏👍
#Grabbed - Sun conjunct my natal Jupiter within 1°, opposite Saturn... literally the official death of my dream haha. Today I started packing 7 years of my life in Canada. I decided to move back to my home country since I have been lost in immigration limbo for almost 2 years now. So there goes my dream of finishing my degree in science and become a scientist, there goes my ideal future I had dreamt 7 years ago (to the day!!) when I arrived here. Weirdly enough though, I don't feel as bitter as usual today. I may be feeling that sweet release of freedom that will come with Uranus lol.
#grabbed; this weekend I played soccer for the first time in 40+ years. I was the only female who showed up so I played with the guys. Patient, enduring activity. I have only recently begun working out again, but I was able to run the full game. And I scored the first goal for my team, it was 2-0. This was a good Saturn Sun opposition for me. Also started Qi Gong practise. Striving to improve myself.
I’m approaching my Saturn return in Aquarius while the Sun is in Leo in my 12th house 🥲 definitely feeling very hallow as I’m realizing that I’ve been pursuing fool’s gold for most of my life and currently struggling to reorient… lol
A love the idea of a secret garden where our suffering can be composted privately. I’ve been feeling this all year and trying to put words to this experience and this analogy works beautifully. Thank you! Natal 4H Saturn in Scorpio opposite sun in Taurus. (I also happen to be a therapist! And a gardener ;)
My son is a Leo with natal saturn conjunct sun. He’s going through dental treatment and braces at the moment, but the orthodontist said he needs to have a cavity filled and a couple of extractions first at his regular dentist. But we haven’t been able to book that appointment, because last week, he went out with his friends when it was really hot and tried jumping over a fence, fell on his face, his braces cut his lip and it was all bruised and swelled up, plus he bruised his eyebrow. Reminds me of a few things you’ve said recently. he’s a scorpio rising and Capricorn moon. This transit is happening across his 9th and 3rd house axis.
30:26 I often do confessional open journal type writing on a platform called Medium. I have been doing that since 2017. I do it for myself - for therapy and catharsis. My experience is mine. What other people think of it does not matter. But if it helps another soul in any way, then I consider that a service.
This is such a powerful insight for me. I have Saturn in my first house opposing the sun in the seventh. I have typically always been one to share my deepest beliefs, feelings and what is happening with others. In the last week I have realized that moving forward that way is not serving me. I am going within and doing my work instead of reaching out outside of myself with others. I need this time to find my own knowingness and clarity. It feels so deeply good to connect to my soul privately. it is as though all clarity, understanding and movement forward is within me not outside of me. What a wonderful experience. Beautiful talk! 🙏✨Vv
Acyuta thank so much, this was a very valuable message about deepening our soul experience in the womb of silence and not exposing the seeds of joys or sorrows before they're strong enough or before they have been savoured enough. This is cultivating the taste of wisdom in silence.
Thanks 🙏 Very accurate archetypal description of the Sun-Saturn dynamics. I actually have Sun-Saturn conjunction in my natal chart in the 12th house. So this opposition manifested in a very subtle way and unexpectedly so. I was revealed that not even my most revered of spiritual teachers and "Heroes" are infallible and without reproach. Its not easy to see through the feigned appearances, and then be able to digest the shadow aspect of your deepest of pursuits. 🙏🙏 Very Sun-Saturnian indeed!
Awesome! Chuckled with delight when you said you like dragons 😊. Me too! On these notes I’ve been trying to be conscious about not offering my views about the universe/ spiritual things even in conversations about these things unless I’m asked 😅😂🤗 Thanks for what you do!!!
Thank you, in the last 18 months I have been quietly processing & working through a lot of painful occurrences of my life especially the last 5 years & only in the last week I have realised I have made peace with it & found my soul friend within x
Quiet suffering. Thank you, needed to hear this. Feeling hugged! Oh, I'm in year two now, still have to write the exam, and still haven't seen any classes since June. 🙈 Busy summer here. 🤗 This video is nourishing 🙏
I have the Sun/Saturn dynamic Nataly in Leo/Aquarius & going thru my 2nd Saturn Return now. I never shared things with anyone growing up. I wrote a confessional memoir in 2017 and folks were amazed at the experiences I have had due to being from a military family along with oodles of mental/physical/sexual trauma on both sides of the family. My journey out of that was the memoir. My Cancer rising is where I listened to others & placed myself in silence. It is true that my life being secret helped me see its depth and I don't regret not sharing until later in life.
#grabbed Sun - Saturn square, Sun in the 12th house in Cancer. What you said about “suffering in silence” helped me understand a part of my soul. I was a lonely kid, and always wish there would be someone who would listen to me. Only until three years ago, I met someone who I trust totally and I felt like I can share everything. We told each other everything. But when I told him about a bad day, it didn’t feel that satisfied as I imagined. Since then, I started to be more open to people and tell them about things that bothered me, and I realized it was not the way. I have Mercury in Gemini, I’m good at communicating. But I just had to surrender to the fact that, sharing about my sufferings doesn’t help. Not at all. I need to process them all by myself. That really explains the square between the Sun and Saturn in my natal chart. Especially when the Sun is in the 12th house. Thanks a lot ☺️☺️ Btw, this week has been intense at workload. My team worked 12 hours a day or more to complete a 1 week project that usually required 2 weeks to complete. I don’t know what good thing it’ll bring about, but that’s sure a Sun - Saturn dynamic. I’m glad that we met the deadline and I’m even happier to think that this week is over.
Been significantly #grabbed by these energies the last few days. I’m an Aquarian Sun with a Leo Ascending and Pisces Moon. Equal parts feeling like I need to question everything I’m doing and have done, while simultaneously trusting in myself and advocating from my Heart for what feels like the very first time in my life.
Thank you for this soulful talk, the theme resonated with me deeply. It has been something I have been meditating on and applying in my own life, and finding deep richness in my inner life through this approach. Namaste!
I don’t know. I can always feel a general vibe about people and pinpoint their sun signs within 3 to 5 sentence exchange when I first meet them and 90% of the case it’s accurate. Never wrong about the signs that I’m more familiar with , like Taurus, Aquarius, Sagittarius, Pisces, Scorpio, Gemini and Virgo. Feel like I can sniff them out in a mile 😂
I can pick a woman's element 90% of the time and their Sun about 66% of the time. Men are a bit harder. I put it down to having a 8H Moon chart ruler and a lot of placements in Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio and Capricorn.
Oh my goodness. I have that cowboy voice lol. There is a time and a season. ... pearls of wisdom are in the deep quiet closed place of our heart sometimes
Thank you for this cast. Leo sun & Aqua Saturn retro in my birth chart. This makes so much sense. I've been weighing what needs to go, what needs to stay. & how to move forward fairly. You're right, not everything needs to be said.
#GRABBED My natal sun is woven in this at 12 degrees Leo. I have been doing therapy that I started at the beginning of this summer and a lot of the really rough (abusive) stories of my childhood have been coming up to be healed and it's been pretty triggering. I can't talk to anyone about it. It's just one of those things. So here I am, just about to my birthday and feeling pretty dang lonely. I am a 12th house sun conjunct Saturn - no stranger to these kinds of journeys but this one has hit me in the gut. Watching your video was so helpful! I have tears in my eyes. But I feel like I got this! Just got to keep swimming. Keep finding the sparkling lights in the depths and the shallows. Thank you for your deep teaching.
I have my natal sun @12° leo 12 th house conjunct my natal saturn 7 ° leo.... I pray we get to the diamond that this intense heated process is bringing up in our lives....Much love to you fellow saturn conjunct leo 12 house traveler 🤗
This really spoke to me as I have this placement in my chart and am definitely this sort of person. I have always innately ‘understood’ quiet suffering and the gifts that are found in those places of silence and solitude. Yet, I’m not a hermit and go out into the world each day, but with secrets inside that add something magical to how I see people and situations. The sun and Saturn are in my 11th (Cap) and 5th houses. Loved this talk!
The need that I think is important is that there often are no words to describe the suffering and Jean Shinoda Bolen said we touch the collective conscience. I love your explanation too. Soulfulness is a closed private state of being is a perfect idea. .
#grabbed #scorpio #futureauthor Sooo the first half of 2018 was one of the best years of my life! I had finally decided a career path, set up arrangements to return to college, even set forth in a long awaited secure living situation.. Then boom as if Aladdins magic carpet just lost its magic and fell out the sky, my entire world was upside down. I'm sitting in a jail cell awaiting the judges decision on whether or not I am to be held or released on bail. Sitting there thinking about all the plans my actions eliminated. Fast forward a few weeks and I'm adjusted to the idea that I have to serve my time. I got my hands on a bible and for the first time had a chance to hear and see the words in it. The view from the window was a peak with some body of water just below, and this beautiful slanted tree growing out of the concrete. I watched the winter pass and spring arrive. The sky fill with feathers or possible clumps of pollen. One morning a spider web was glistening on the outer side of the cell window. I watched the baby Hawks fly and land on there parents back while learning how to fly, then master the skill and sore. My cellmate who thank God was a decent person was very social and tried to get me to interact with the other inmates but my response was always the same. "If I go out there and chill or watch tv then the reason im in this situation becomes irrelevant." In the nights we would stay up talking. Closer to the end of my sentence the talks turned into singing concerts as if the cold concrete walls were the walls of your shower while you blast your favorite song! I found a sense of inner peace that came out of my souls satisfaction from such a chaotic situation. I'll never be the same but the lessons would have never been revealed if not for the experience. Take away being : when you're able to sit inside the darkest space in absolute silence no sense of time going or coming, you can still sing. 11.20.93 1a.m Bx, NY
I feel as if my sun sign, which is Pisces, is the deepest essence of the many layers that make up my personhood. Of course I also have 2 other planets in Pisces so that may add to my having that perception. I experience the rest of my chart as the paths I take to express my particular version of Pisces and how I do that.
very healing video, this transit is also my natal sun and aquarius placements. whatever path I was on is being overhauled, don’t wanna get into it too much, it’s been awful but I’m just moving along. two songs came to me while watching: “black hole sun” from soundgarden and “nobody knows” by elsiane. Peace!
Tomorrow is my solar return! 🌠 My year ahead is going to have all these ingredients Acyuta mentions, Sag rising, my 25th bday tomorrow so I will have 2nd house profection year(capricorn is my 2nd). And also, I have capricorn rising in the solar return chart of this year(2nd house appears again). I enjoy when astrology shows 'coincidences' like these! It will be a year charged of the topic of money and possessions. I'm already feeling focused on these topics, I started to change my career journey on March 2020, but it will be continued. Right the moment mercury perfected the conjunction with the sun in my 9th house, I was exporting the file I prepared for my partner to explain him the basis of astrology, haha 😁. We've talked a lot about it but we encountered the issue that the things I explained to him were lacking the the context behind and the entire method(first: signs, then aspects between them, then planets, houses, and so on). So we came up with the idea that we might have 'presentation days' explaining some topics to each other. 👩🏫 As a neophyte graphic designer it was a challenge to synthetize astrology and to do it so as much graphical as possible, but really REALLY fun. Now we just had the first part of the presentation, and tomorrow the second one! (my bday haha). I'm so blessed with astrology and all the good referents I find, like Acyuta. Not long ago I was telling my partner that I first discovered astrology in its modern version, but I was confused until I discovered the hellenistic one. I love the way you explain, Acyuta. It's so inspiring the way you approach us. 🌊
I'm anticipating a confessional memoir. We have walked decades suffering our secret joy. It will be interesting to hear another perspective. I'm hoping to hear it first hand, at best; or a pre-publication release, at least.
#grabbed Yesterday the electric ignitor on the stove stopped working! And with Sun in 10th I have started a tarot memory challenge where I am revealing more on Instagram, which I usually suffer silently as a Scorpio rising.
I have sun in leo in the 12th house conjunct mercury and the north node, opposite saturn in aquarius in the 6th house conjunct the south node. It has taken me a lifetime to figure this one out....but one thing is for sure: in the silence of seclusion I have found a simple way to be happy with my own company. I need it to recharce....
It reminds me of the years after my older sisters married and I was at home with just my mother and I. It was such a secret happy place for me. I missed them but I wish I would have relished more of this time. I learned so much about her. My special time of being the baby.
suffering in silence, yeah with Saturn transiting my 4H this really carries another depth. Since Saturn entered my 4th House I'm finding myself having a huge dilemma of how much in or out in the world I want to be. How much do I want to share and how much do I want to keep private. While Satuen in Cap was transiting my 3H I deffitnly learned the lesson of going through it alone. Now I wanted to start to share my knowledge but somehow the universe always puts a halt. I took a one year long social media break last year and got back a few months ago. I see myself having a lot of pressure on sharing or not sharing, there deffintly always comes a block when I try to, like I kid you not, everytime I want to post a story about something deeper the app crashed, or my glass of water spills over, or the most random things (I take these as signs). As much as I want to share, I clearly see that it is not the right divine timing yet. But I am starting to cherish the silent 'suffering' a lot more now, and built my magical internal world full of secretes that not everyone needs to know (:
ha! yeah suffering in silence has been my experience ever since saturn entered Capricorn in my fourth house. alienated from all friends, family and literally having to do everything on my own. now it's in Aquarius in my fifth house and I just don't get it. a part of me wants to give up because I think I'll always be alone. also, I'm a leo sun, libra rising and these fucking transits during a worldwide pandemic and being a single mom is extraordinarily difficult. my family operates like a cult and I'm stuck in it and I realize I'll never get out. i got out once and had a happy life, now I have a child and have to depend on them. life sucks then you die. the end.
Hello. Are you scorpio rising? (I mean, acuarius your 4th house in whole sign house system) Bc my best friend is scorpio rising and currently has this transit in her 4th. What you just discribed I think it's what she's feeling like.
To Be Or Not To Be That is always a Choice. You must Leo on! If The Powers That Shouldn’t Be are preventing you from sharing Truth than stand up and flip them off take back your power and you will Win because your a Light In Shinning Armor! Take up you Sword of Truth and start swinging it 😛 . Ok then I’m going to stop typing now. Sending Blessings of Peace,Love and Prosperity! Big Hugz Shanti
@@celiabarajas3265 hey, yes I'm a scorpio sun and rising, and I do use and prefer the whole house system. In Placidus I have my natal Jupiter (Jupiter return curently btw haha) in Aquarius 3rd House, and my Venus and Mars in Cap 2nd House, but really whole house always made more sense to me. Like I have been observing transits for well over 3 years now, and whole house always fit perfectly. Like the whole Cap stuff last year was deffintly such a 3H Mind thing for me. It sent me into the deepest depression I underwent in life, that's why the 4H transit in Aqua is kinda more comfortable for me (might also be though bc it's activating my natal jupiter and having a trine aspect to my gemini moon, making it a emotionally more pleasant experience) Like overall I'm having a pretty fun time reconecting with my roots (: But yeah just this how much am I in and how much am I out Dilemma is very present (ofc especially now in Leo Season)
@@discopuma I'm sorry for the experiences you underwent and are currently undergoing. And yeah the Cap stuff hit us all hard last year. For me it was in my 3H and it was not easy to deal with either. I think I only managed to pull through bc of my natal mars cap, and also bc I personally believe in reincarnation, and I thought to myself: I either go through this now or I say bye and have to do it in my next life. I do also know my family history well, so I knew I had to sit through and break this pattern, and not check out of life like many did. But yeah interessting you mentioning your family operating like a cult. I can imagine having Cap 4H having a lot of power struggles in family and some deep family karma. I personally find the 4H Aqua transit pretty pleasant and enjoyable. But I do have natal Jupiter in Aqua as well (and currently Jupiter return making a positive aspect to my moon, which is also why it is emotionally more pleasant). I do dearly hope that amidst all your chaos you can still find time to enjoy and appreciate the beauty of life and existance, and I hope you do not give up. I hope you can experience living your life in your unique fullest expression of yourself (:
The part about keeping secrets reminds of something I read about Carl Jung the other day. Apparently when he started to go to school, he felt this tension between the socialization he was going through and his self. So he built a little doll for himself that he would keep in a small chest in the attic of his house that only he knew about that he would go to in times of distress. He also did similar things to that, things that only he would know about, in an attempt to keep a sense of his own self.
With sun and mercury in cancer, sun opp. Saturn natally and Scorpio rising I ve always kept my pain for myself. Moon in 12 as ruler of my sun and Neptun conj. ASC may add to the need of much time to process the crazyness of this realm.
Appreciate this wisdom so much. I’ve been thinking about the balance (or lack thereof) of being seen (as a stabilizing force) versus witnessing myself and being my own stability. As in, to what degree do others need to witness the “real” me in order for me to feel known and loved truly? Leo rising, exalted sun in Aries, so those themes are maybe a lifelong investigation. I’ve been thinking so much about what to externalize and what to hold onto for my own cogitation and meditation. The lessons have been beautiful and mysterious. I’ve weirdly felt so grateful for Saturn’s 7th house influence. I’m a dedicated pupil like the karate kid basically 😂.
P.s. come to think of it, my messages wouldn’t send to my sweetheart yesterday while I was on a plane (in spite of having signed in for free texting on the flight). Poor Mercury was getting the hammer from Saturn and I was getting a lesson in patience 😆.
OMG. I had my Monitor and one of the “smart tv” was on the blink with no connection😳 I have Aquarius rising 1st /Leo Sun7th! Been a really HEAVY year or so🌟🌞 I cannot plan for anything that is a sure thing to occur lately! Leo south node/Aquarius north! Thanks for shinning your light✨✨✨
#GRABBED: Sun in Leo Opposite Saturn in Aquarius. My son (Gemini, Virgo rising) was cooking us breakfast this morning and discovered our frig had frozen all the eggs. He had to peal the first two and watched as they slowly thawed. We tried soaking the next two eggs in warm water. It helped but the yoke didn't cook well. Did we have a group grab? I am Cancer, Gemini rising; my son's wife is Leo, Libra rising; and our roommate is Pieces, Gemini rising. Thanks!
Mercury opposed Saturn story. I received an email exact to the minute of the transit. A book I am waiting for was still not available. i'm keeping the email.
Saturn is definitely casting a HUGE shadow over my birthday sun my confidence is lacking I feel Sooooo Distant from myself like something is so wrong. I guess this is a mini #grabbed story how Saturn opposed the sun hi jacked my birthday. It’s left me despondent to my peers halfheartedly going thru with my plans for enjoying myself my conversations feel off
Wow I had the exact same thing happen. My electricity went off and I was having to go online for a meeting and both my lap top and phone were neatly empty of battery. I was in a tizz. lol. Then a few hours later I went and looked at the box and the hairdryer had tripped the switch. Lol. How funny.
As a Leo sun, I’ve found this Aquarius Saturn crap to be quite exhausting. And I’ve had falling outs with all my Aquarian friends who I once thought of as some of my favorite people. The heck…
@Achyuta et.al. - ty- If our whole chart is our identity and if no one planet is tied to identity- isn’t the 1st house parcel of our identity? Along with the 1H being how others view us at first impression?
Wonderful lecture!! Yesterday I started reading "The Hero with a Thousand Faces" by Joseph Campbell and, although enchanted by the quality of his writing, it troubles me he didn't even consider the possibility of a heroine's journey.
Leo is my midhaven. My natal sun is in Taurus closely conjunct saturn. So my whole life has been one of duty to others. Now however, I feel a whole new life coming on. It's like a mild mannered homemaker has this secret side job as a spy or an infamous investigative reporter vibe. Yes, my 12th house in Libra is just screaming time to shake things up.
I’m trippin on the synchronicity‘s in this video about your daughter being a Leo so am I ! Plus you put some Arnica on her head !! My first names Arnika 🤣
As a systematically traumatised PoC Queer person, I find the idea of suffering in silence, of letting my traumata cook in me instead of releasing it sickening. For me the most healing thing to do was being able to purge and release such age old held resentments and traumas or even feelings, I don't want to contain them for a long time as that's poisonous and let me eventually drink and drug. Although I do understand keeping things private for the time that they need that is valuable, my intuition just went to uncomfortable places when the beauty of "suffering in silence" and "secrets" come from a white hetero cis man. Love and light
#grabbed right now in my perfect opposition of Uranus to my natal Uranus, of Pluto to my natal moon and of Saturn to my natal Mars. How long will it take to get off this triple grind? And every other transit of course… Inner conflicts on and on about mg inner freedom at EVERY gesture, choice and word, goofy and/or tiny stuff electrifying many moments w/ my partner, lower energies and inner permission to rest on and off all day long… growing inwardly in quantum leaps but blocks on every wordly path, as now…. Will report more
I was a little worried about this transit but from nowhere I managed to get some money from a sale, and Saturn is opposite (conjunct) my ascendant Leo, so that was positive. And about the authorities, I'm on medication which I don't know if I want any longer, but that could be a feel from the upcoming sun uranus conjunction (or square or what it was). And you could say that they are authority figures because it is the government who gives me medication. I also always been very popular to drag people in to my world because I have Saturn in my fifth, and being a gemini sun and I mentioned the ascendant, but always in the same time been a bit alienated (Black sheep) because of the house placement of Saturn. Also very much relational 7th house stuff because of saturns synergetics and I have aquarius in my 7th, thinking of Jupiter crossing back. Or it could be Uranus in Taurus (10th house), and in my natal I have also Uranus in my fifth (the money I mentioned came from a friend/associate). And for Leos horoscope this month I think you mentioned a focus on first, seventh and tenth house. Love and light amigo #grabbed
I have Natel Saturn Conjunct my Natel Sun. Leo Acsendant Sun in Leo Saturn in Virgo. Transit Saturn in my 7th house Aquarius ♒ opposite my Sun has put me off 😒 relationships for good. Elsie from the United Kingdom 🇬🇧
