The Surprising Truth About Happiness with Professor Laurie Santos | Feel Better Live More Podcast

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What is happiness? And can we learn to be happier than we already are? Today’s guest believes we can. Laurie Santos is a professor of psychology at Yale University and host of The Happiness Lab podcast. Her ‘Science of Wellbeing’ course became the most popular in the university’s history and has developed into a global phenomenon, with over three million people signing up to study Laurie’s evidence-based strategies for happiness.
In this conversation, Laurie shares exactly what those happiness boosting strategies actually are. She also explains how being happy with your life, differs from being happy in your life and how balancing the two is key to overall happiness. We also cover the relationship between money and happiness and discuss the unfortunate reality that when it comes to happiness, our intuition is often wrong.
We discuss maximising social connections, being thankful, being present, exercising and sleeping more - things we know are good for us but often lack the motivation to seek out.
We also talk about how technology can both help and hinder social connections, how helping others is preferable to helping ourselves, and the incredible benefits of a daily gratitude practice.
This is a wide-ranging and uplifting chat that really breaks down the psychology of happiness and Laurie’s suggestions will help you start working towards greater contentment starting today. The best news is that the tools to our happiness are simple and free.
Show notes available at drchatterjee.com/151
Connect with Laurie:
Podcast www.happinesslab.fm
Instagram lauriesantosofficial?hl=en
Twitter lauriesantos
Laurie’s Science of Well-Being course on Coursera www.coursera.org/learn/the-science-of-well-being
Related Feel Better Live More podcasts:
# 32 The Science of Happiness with Meik Wiking ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-ggwkYTuCVWc.html
# 122 Jay Shetty on How to Think Like a Monk and Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-yTH7lA7Th78.html
#feelbetterlivemore #lauriesantos #happpiness
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DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Опубликовано:

27 янв 2021

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Комментарии : 117

@squeezylemon1 3 года назад

I worked in Saudi Arabia for 5 years and during that time my father passed away back in Northern Ireland..... when I returned back to work after going home for his funeral I was met with a constant stream of Saudi colleagues saying "we are sorry for your loss.... but you must accept it is Gods will" ....... and after hearing it day after day, genuinely from every one of my colleagues, I honestly can say it helped me cope with my loss better than I could have imagined....

@SuperLammens Год назад

I think of you really love someone not being able to touch, talk or share food, walks... With that person would make me sad i,m happy you got over his passing.you have yr colleagues so. All is fine and a job you love

@AtypicalPaul 3 года назад

Completely honest I'm really not missing being around other people. The past year has been the best for me personally. I feel relieved to not have to come up with excuses why not to go somewhere or be forced to go to social get togethers that I don't want to go to.

@xxdrleek10 3 года назад

Ah an introvert. You are NOT alone. Unfortunately, introverts are not only not valued, but are viewed negatively in a world that worships and caters to extroverts. Utter garbage.

@radhikamani8316 2 года назад

same here! I feel like so far this has been so basic and stuff I've already heard a lot of times but for some people its not really that true. I literally feel no change at all in my happiness level if I have a nice chat or not with a barista... and tbh a lot of times people aren't even that friendly in customer service roles these days anyway. I mean I appreciate social connection with the people I am close to but I have a hard time believing that these types of surface convos could actually make someone happy... especially if someone has social anxiety too - these small interactions can actually make me LESS happy if I feel they went badly.

@ritamorelli3869 2 года назад

Very worthwhile to 👂 speakers and to Look at other peoples writing ✍️

@michellesorensen7518 Год назад

I loved lockdowns, my work calls for over socialisation how wonderful it was and freeing for my mental health....at the end of my work day now I'm completely mentally drained! I do get the coffee shop thing....but I don't spend all day with those people!

@nehainthebay 3 года назад

“Fast forwarding through life...” Probably why we are unable to find happiness. We wait for that other moment to give us happiness rather than finding it in the current. Loved the talk on a topic close to me heart!

@DrChatterjeeRangan 3 года назад

Thanks Neha!

@sleepsmartsmashstress8705 2 года назад

we are unable to find happiness.

@saharamir930 3 года назад

My son and I, he’s 13, cooked pizza from scratch today. It took us a several hours, including buying the ingredients, prepping, cleaning etc. These days all this could be avoided by picking up the phone/online and order the pizza. Whilst we were eating, it made me think that in my parents days more was Cooked from scratch and could it possible they had less time to procrastinate, less time to think, more time spent on making dinner for the family because that was what you did, it wasn’t looked at as a chore or burden. Advertising/ media is selling us the wrong idea. Convenience food might give us time but then what are we actually doing in that time. It’s not just about food but I believe anything that is replaced with quick conveniences may not necessary be better for us in the wrong run and may be hinder and steal moments of happiness that at the time we don’t recognise as happiness.

@kristagassib4702 3 года назад

Lori’s happiness class changed my life for me and everyone I come into contact with.

@DrChatterjeeRangan 3 года назад

Wonderful to hear!

@sleepsmartsmashstress740 2 года назад

Life of each one of us changing daily and there is a saying to the effect that change is the only constant. Let us see the evidentiary underpinning of your conclusion that the change you are mentioning is causally lined to contact with Lori. Do contact with all Latinas help you get happier? It should be fun and a learning experience. I am a sleep longevity and happiness researcher so I ask funny questions.

@zenon_kokon 4 месяца назад

For me happiness is having people to talk to about my feelings, doubts, intimacy, problems, joys - sharing experiences basically. It's so revealing that I don't need to keep any secret and I can tell everything and I am still accepted. This is friendship.

@caseykittel 3 года назад

I love the way Laurie speaks. what a great mind! thank you!!!

@sleepsmartsmashstress740 2 года назад

All psychologists have that quality or their practice would fail, their voice is their most powerful tool

@AtypicalPaul 3 года назад

I turned off all my notifications a couple months ago and it has been great. Now I pick up my phone when I want to and not when it tells me to

@irondeep 3 года назад

When you think of “Happiness”, we tend to associate it all the time with positive feelings. I think having a grateful heart helps people feel more positive emotions. Thank you for this video!

@DrChatterjeeRangan 3 года назад

No problem Brett!

@sleepsmartsmashstress740 2 года назад

When you practice gratitude you enrich yourself and bless yourself that is a way to donate happiness to yourself. By default happiness must be a positive emotion and sorrow a negative one that is not open to debate

@emjaye13 3 года назад

I think we're unconsciously seeking unmet emotional needs like validation and we associate it with happiness when met but we seek it externally so it's not really going to be sustainable bc things outside change all the time. Like if we think we can get the feeling of being significant with money and success, then we can only feel it temporarily bc we might end up comparing the level of our success to other people as well. I think it is our belief system that is making us unhappy. And I also think happiness is a lifestyle like cultivating those she mentioned like sleep, exercise, nutrition that biochemically boost good mood.

@ninajohnson6578 3 года назад

Thank you for this podcast. Your genuine compassion for your listeners is clear. You have helped me during the pandemic.

@DrChatterjeeRangan 3 года назад

Thanks so much Nina - appreciate you watching!

@renesmith6218 2 года назад

I did the course with coursera during covid and it definitely helped me through the time when I felt absolutely hopeless. Wish other people would take my advice when I try and share this knowledge. Thank you Laurie

@kathrynparker983 3 года назад

I feel so much more depressed and sad because of this social distancing thing. I'll make it through, but being alone all day everyday just sucks! Plus, it's cold outside where I live so that doesn't help. I guess that's why I'm almost addicted to fb now. There are some positives to all this, but I sorely miss my classical music concerts, etc.!

@heathercommonsense377 2 года назад

Have things gotten better for you?

@kathrynparker983 2 года назад

@@heathercommonsense377 Thanks for asking. I suppose they have in a way, but I deal with chronic illness, as many do these days, and some days are pretty good and some not so much. Right in this moment? Not so. I hope all is well for you.

@heathercommonsense377 2 года назад

@@kathrynparker983 I said a prayer for you last night that you have more good days than anything. Sometimes when I'm feeling irritable, I'll que up a "Jim Gaffigan" stand up show. Then I sit down with my wine as sushi as I watch (and freak out the dog because I'm laughing so hard.) You should try it! 😅 Pets are good company. Even our guppies are fun to watch & feed bits of table scraps to -they surprisingly have little personalities. If you can't have pets, succulents are fun & easy to take care of. I have a whole shelf of succulents for my daughter, and we potted them in little animal vases. She calls them her "sucky babies" and sprays them with water. When dealing with illness, it makes "surrounding yourself with life" all that more important. You seem like a wonderful soul. Godspeed

@kathrynparker983 2 года назад

@@heathercommonsense377 Thank you so much. I feel the love! Health and blessings to you!

@buddhaneosiddhananda8499 2 года назад

It's OK to seek happiness in external things... try the middle path... 👍👍

@atomichound1868 3 года назад

Just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed this conversation. I listened in its entirety in podcast form while driving to my remote work location from my home. I have since shared it with family members. I have also enrolled in the course! It brings to mind a phrase that I have been constructing and working with to be present and mindful: “If the essence of Wisdom is giving up something you want immediately for something better later, then acting wise in the moment is akin to being your future self’s best friend”. By the way Laurie - I love the part of the course regarding the GI Joe Fallacy story and the looks on students faces when you ask if they have heard of a 1980s cartoon! Thanks so much!

@nicolejna 3 года назад

Thank you both for this enlightening conversation... Thank you so much for this podcast, is one of the most empowering, learning focused, life changing podcast! You and the great guests helped me soooo much on my own journey... Really thankful for people like you...we so need it these days.!!!

@melissalemke8614 2 года назад

I am curious about the research. I am at minute 27 or 28 and she mentions social connection improves happiness for both introverts and extroverts. I wonder if they need the same level of social connection to feel happy. It seems like all personalities need some level of social connection, but is that level the same? Perhaps I just haven't gotten that far in the podcast/video yet.

@adriancaldwell 3 года назад

I've visited Africa a lot, war torn, poverty stricken and so on - genuine smiles everywhere. I surmise that a spoilt society is an unhappy one?

@l.w.paradis2108 3 года назад

A hypercompetitive society, where kindness is equated with weakness, and anyone weak is ridiculed or shunned, is an unhappy one.

@michellehashish5341 2 года назад

@@l.w.paradis2108 spot on.

@schweizerbergnomadin1054 2 года назад

When i was in Madagascar I met a man in rags and with just one tooth left. But I will never forget his beautiful smile! Just remembering him gives me warmth deep in my heart. There is so much we westerners have lost!!! It's high time to regain these forgotten treasures.

@lb2439 2 года назад

@@l.w.paradis2108 well said

@l.w.paradis2108 3 года назад

You need a lot of money to make sure no one will come along and ruin your life on a whim. That's all money is for. Not to bring you happiness, but to prevent disaster. It works very well for that. The Stockton experiment, giving a group of people $500 a month, no strings, showed massive improvements in mental health. During the pandemic, the differences between rich and poor became stark. It is evident who is suffering.

@sleepsmartsmashstress740 2 года назад

Stockton syndrome works only in Stockton. ha ha. Same as Las Vegas Amsterdam stuff happens only in Amsterdam

@leahparsons7907 3 года назад

We have to ask ourselves "what does happiness look like to me?" "When do I feel it?" I like to ask myself questions .

@willsben889 3 года назад

Wonderful absolutely wonderful... Where are you from ?

@rehtaeh14 3 года назад

@@willsben889 Canada

@willsben889 3 года назад

@@rehtaeh14 That's good of you" if I may ask, Who are you ? I mean a man or a woman....

@user-sb3ch3sb2w 3 года назад

ال Allah Allah Allah Say Allah is One (1) Allah of Resurrection (2) Not born nor born (3) And he did not have a palm for anyone (4)

@muratisik6956 3 года назад

I have listened to a lot of your podcasts, but THIS ONE is just so complete! Everybody can apply so many aspects of the thing that Professor Santos says, to day to day life. It is one of your best guests and episodes, it's in my top-3! Just walked 10 km straight listening to this. Thank you, Rangan. And I hope and pray that you will keep making podcasts for the next 25 years or more, because it has enriched and improved my life and health, mentally and physically. We are the same age and I also write books (I'm a novelist), so I can really identify with you on certain areas, and with a lot of your guests who, in a lot of cases, also write books and struggle with the same things in life that I, and many of us do. So thank you so much! Greetings from Amsterdam! Ps: something a lot of humans nowadays miss: good and deep conversations like these in their lives, just for their wellbeing. So I hope we also can learn to have better conversations with each other... you show us how to do that!

@filledmug 2 года назад

Discovered this amazing deed. Feeling thankful and less anxious already. Thank you Dr Chatterjee and Dr Santos.

@LanaS021 3 года назад

Thanks for the perspective Dr Rangan and Prof Laurie, I was interested that the judgements of "good" and "bad" or "positive" and "negative" are still being ascribed to emotions. I wonder how having a negative judgment of one's emotional state further contributes to one's happiness or not. Love the podcast - thanks!

@sylviekaiser1064 2 года назад

Lovely take on the psychology part of comparison on her part without discussion of left and right hemisphere jobs and perpetual integration of such jobs below the realm of consciousness as discussed and illuminated by Dr Mcgilchrist- just an observation of the way sciences do not talk to each other- and granted it’s a daunting task and an ever evolving one when it comes to the knowledge we were taught in medical schools or graduate schools- thank you as always for your presence- your podcasts are almost meditative for me- such an amazing interviewer Dr Chatterjee🤗❤️🤗

@jeanlanz2344 Год назад

Outstanding conversation. Thank you for all the tips and research for happiness. God bless you both for your work to help others.

@RonWesterbeek 3 года назад

Top chat. Thank you two. Namaste 😊

@SuperLammens Год назад

You are a wonderful human rangan, magnificent interviewer,respectfull and emotional very intelligent. Yr patients are getting the best of the best

@TrishLee 3 года назад

Thank you for this!

@angelocastiglione1 2 года назад

Great episode! Thank you 🙏

@cindypage8673 2 года назад

Thank you so much for this. I enjoyed listening to every minute, so helpful. x

@sleepsmartsmashstress740 2 года назад

Watching happiness video seems to work for you so keep at it Cindy

@nixodian 3 года назад

Rangan love your podcasts, learn from them too, was great to learn from you in trust me, I’m a doctor. Thanks for enriching our lives 👍🏼

@ritamorelli3869 2 года назад

Thanks Dr C to mention reframing And Ms Santos? About the Monk who told story about two arrows 😍Can choose story that makes you happier

@bethtucker5275 2 года назад

Great talk. Very informative. Thank you

@ritamorelli3869 2 года назад

Like the honestly in this conversation

@irinapopescu7328 2 года назад

Great episode! I really enjoyed the conversation ❤️

@prabirsarkar1732 2 года назад

Professor Laurie mentions social connections as one of the metrics for enhancing happiness. Wonder with so much social media around, people are so unhappy and depressed. I believe its the quality of company that matters rather than the quantity. Its like that cliched question "How are you" , everybody asks but nobody really means it.

@mariselamoreno5787 3 года назад

Fantastic conversation 🙏🏻

@chanojurado3925 3 года назад

Loved it!!!

@gD-cp3cg 3 года назад

Your question about why some people are thinking when you are rich, you are happy is a very good thinking. I believe it's because the marketing on the ads, on TV... Shows to people, if you want to be happy you must be rich. But as you said when you are scratching behind the scene you can see a lot of rich people unhappy. They are unsatisfy and first and foremost lonely. For me it's a disease but we are not able yet to say it is ! New tech is not bad if it's created to help human, if it's made to exploit human it's wrong. I think a lot about rules because when we are young we have to learn a lot of rules from adult people but when people become adults where did they put the rules they have learned when they were young? The social system sometimes seems to be put away by the financial system.

@Wmom18 3 года назад

Bravo!!! More, please!! 💖😍👍🎉

@z.j.maayan8458 3 года назад

Love this! Can't wait to take the class!

@sleepsmartsmashstress740 2 года назад

You can be happy by simply waiting too so dont miss out on that part of the happiness.

@jbrons3674 Год назад

We have too much choice! We can choose what we listen to or watch at every moment. We there by block all these moments that would have happened if we did not block them all out to stay in our comfortable bubble. Its these unsuspecting surprises we miss out on. Our walls become more confined day by day by being able to “like” and “not like” for immediate gratification. We are not exposed anymore to the mass. By having more choice we end up limiting our exposure to all the available choices and are then left with less

@AtypicalPaul 3 года назад

Great conversation 👌

@talgara69 3 года назад

Excellent

@wowwowwow185 2 года назад

money is just a tool ,its the journey up the mountain that makes life worth living not sitting on the peak for ever

@samantha-kemp-therapy 3 года назад

love the wheelbarrow metaphor

@roberta9987 2 года назад

Much informtion

@thomasanderson2735 3 года назад

Happiness is an ephemeral emotion, contingent upon the ebb & flow of life's circumstances. But joy is an internal existential state of being, not contingent upon superficial appertances.

@sleepsmartsmashstress740 2 года назад

Happiness is an ephemeral emotion and an illusion Serenity is the real thing and worth pursuing. Happiness pursuit can and often does get you into trouble. Having a 5 minute adultery experiment cost you 4 years in the divorce courts

@marynguyen6417 3 года назад

I certainly like the idea of shifting our attention to care for other, instead of ourselves all the time. However I do wonder about the study that find that people those spent money on others were happier than those didn't. This is an association which couldn't tell what was the egg, what was the chicken. It could very well be that the happier the people are in the first place, the more like that they were willing to care more for others around them, or spending money on others as in this situation. This is a kind of observational study, if there was some baselines or references before spending the money, then the study findings would bear more weight on their conclusion.

@alwayslearning8365 Год назад

This experiment takes place every year across the world for a large part of the world's population. The experiment is called Christmas. Those who give gifts often feel much better about the giving than the receiving of gifts. I am much happier when giving than receiving.

@buddhaneosiddhananda8499 2 года назад

We can learn a lot about how to be happy from the Good Samaritan...

@zahoorulhaq6387 3 года назад

Dr laurie santos you have god gifted power to deliver positive views i love this lady very much

@roadstofreedom2899 3 года назад

Isn't it so ironic that we are being told that social disconnection keeps us healthy?!

@AtypicalPaul 3 года назад

If everyone could make 75k a year the world would be a much better place with all having the opportunity to find their true happiness. Edit* haha awesome she just said 75k. Love irony :)

@judithfoglia1858 3 года назад

Hi Laurie ..just in time for my 1st. Presentation I will refer individuals to your creations. Thank you..I honor the God in you . New Jersy

@vanessastephen6416 3 года назад

Fantastic- pearls of wisdom that already exist within the divine nature of our being. Thank you both so very much. I am texting a friend now to express my gratitude for the gift he is in my life and will connect more too.

@wowwowwow185 2 года назад

if i can get ill be happy never gonna get its chasing you tail

@fromthebasin 3 года назад

dont carry a phone

@carolhall4895 3 года назад

I'm not sure it's our minds that lie to us about what makes us happy but believing what the advertisers tell us will make us happy. Perhaps if we were less susceptible to advertising or chose not to watch it, listen to it or disregard poster ads we might seek out more personal ways to be happy, such as social interaction.

@willsben889 3 года назад

Thanks for that comment... Where are you from ? Greetings from New Zealand...

@angietaylor5256 3 года назад

Joy is found in relationship with our Maker - God LOVES PRAISE, because we are made for relationship!☺️

@nixodian 3 года назад

Allah is only true god

@moder_nord2475 3 года назад

Not true for everyone, though :)

@sleepsmartsmashstress8705 2 года назад

@@nixodian السلام عليكم يا صديقي

@renatagois1136 2 года назад

End HOMEWORK! One should study while in the school, after that is home personal life. Because homework exist we are unable to concentrate in class and be present, and always have that worry and insatisfaction in the back of our minds Homework is the root cause of all my stress, unhappiness and lack of learning during the class in all my academic years End it since preschool all the way to college!

@annettecinquemanifalbo17 2 года назад

She states that she is a agnostic/atheist. Hmmm 🤔 I find it interesting how she talks about people who are deeply religious or who believe in and have a deep faith in God tend be the happiest people.

@sleepsmartsmashstress740 2 года назад

Ten notable facts about happiness or life quality/satisfaction. Part 1 1. There is a hedonic or serenity setpoint or a mean level score say 4/10 or 7/10 for every person and it is shared by identical twins and it is steady throughout life this serenity setpoint is stable. 2. Neurotics (bitchy, discontent and critical of everything whiners), emotionally labile or if compared during their major phase’s maniac-depressives who cycle are less satisfied than those with monkish constitution. Psychopaths too are pretty content and sit with the meditative monks as nothing gives them grief but they don’t enjoy happiness either. 3. Contributors to the serenity setpoint are phenomena of hedonic adaptation and ahedonic adaptation or tolerance. Events that inflict a large deflection in positive or negative direction within 2 to 5 years the baseline characteristic to the person of the setpoint is restored and both the happiness and sorrow tend to be forgotten and wiped away. There are two exception with chronic disability or widowhood if the victim fails to thrive out of it (that only a tenth of them succeed in doing) causes a permanent downshift of the serenity baseline. Meditation habit induce uplifting of serenity does not go away. 4. The pursuit of happiness with the intent to elevate person level of happiness or life satisfaction is a futile objective to pursue and is a path of dissatisfaction. You are bound to fail because it is like walking up a downward escalator, the moment you stop the effort of climbing up the elevator would bring you down. You will never succeed. 5. The real trick to shift the hedonic or serenity setpoint is to reset it. That requires a paradigm shift of life and what used to make you unhappy or bored you learn to get happy from that. Instead of working to get a raise, you try to learn to be a minimalist and live happier off in a tiny houselet; trade the car for a bike and so on. Ending the habit of hoarding is not a bad point. Meditation would help with resetting the hedonic setpoint baseline. You master to be ecstatic sitting there for an hour of meditation which would have bored you to death 5 years ago. 6. The reliance of the mental Jungian conditioning as opposed to the Pavlovian reward associated conditioning where the anticipation of food or sex makes you salivate you shift your cognitive style of interpretation. 7. Lifetime scoring of happiness levels shows that seniors are generally happier off partly from being relieved from the treadmill of job kids’ mortgage etc., but partly because of greater level of resilience as minor troubles stop bothering them seriously. Waiting to be 65 and anticipating a higher happiness would be a good plan.

@stephentroake7155 3 года назад

You don't know what I think, therefore you cant know it's not what I think ;)

@fromthebasin 3 года назад

get a house phone

@wowwowwow185 2 года назад

shopping is boring when you can have any thing , sitting on the beach the same on and on hedonism materialism dosent make you happy ..it's good relationships . helping others . .good health . having a purpose beyond wealth and materilism ,that makes you happy