@@clementbordet7657 yes. They are all great. However the Tamlins version captures a specific place in time for me. So with that ill always be partial to their version.
I listen regularly to a BBC radio 2 presenter Jeremy Vine in England, I'd love to hear him play a song such as this on his show between his various topics.
I'm tired and weary, I failed every test, and then again, and then again, and then again, I am wicked and weak to the core, you came and tried to rescue me, you offered me everything, you embraced me, I tried to cling to you, but I rejected you again and again oh Most High, oh love, oh life, I'm a liar and a coward, I'm numb and fading, yet I don't know how to change, it was always like my heart was closed and I couldn't open it, I couldn't take a single step, I always did what was wrong, time and time again, in my epitomized confusion and wickedness, I chose evil. I didn't believe I could make it, I was frozen and overwhelmed and a coward, my own enemy, schizophrenic, I knew it is all about love, yet every time it came I cringed, always finding another excuse, like automatic, while everything in me was screaming, why couldn't I take the step, what is wrong with me, why did I reject it, why is it so hard. See how I fought, and yet I lost, stupid, false, confused. What is wrong with my heart. What is wrong with me. Why was I ever always paralyzed. Please prevent me from destroying myself. Vicious circles. The pain was too hard, the shame was too gigantic, the repentance seemed impossible, yet you still came and embraced me, but it made me even more shameful, so I rejected you again, and fled in my wickedness and apathy, hiding, I grew monsters, and demons, and let them fight the angels, oh but why, what is it that had a hold on me, until everything became so complicated. I turned every good thing down, yet I never wanted to, I don't know what is wrong with me, why I am so false, it's a vicious circle, it seems impossible. You try to come to me, I am still breathing, my heart is beating, yet I left the battlefield a loser, a complete loser. You gave me life, you gave me everything, I mistreated it and disrespected myself and sacred life, oh the horror, oh the numbed horror. Why oh why, what can I offer you, how can I reconcile what's not to reconcile. What has a hold on my life. Why do I always fall down even at the very first step. Why do I fight you. Why do I deny you. Please let me tell you I don't want to, I don't really want to! I never did! Please see my dilemma! Please see my existential confusion! Please see my paralyze, and every situation, and how I tried to follow you, it worked, dont you remember? Please come back, even though now I am only a shadow, a ghost, but there is still something within me, I know it must be there, I can still cry, even though the Rastafari say I should cry dry, which confuses me, and you know it, did I choose a path too hard? I know so much and could do so much yet it seems impossible. Why the step always so large, why no easing into. I know I should not ask. Please let me live, please let me give, please be there, please let the wicked fade from me, but don't let me fade. See how tremendous the battle is for everyone, now see my life. See how we also had our so beautiful moments, so so so so so so so so so beautiful, but then there were the ones when I was sensing it's just to save me, and then I backed up, with tears in my eyes. Why oh why. Why oh why. I tried to give you something to attach! Oh Mist High G-d, oh love, oh life, please pull me through somehow, somehow, somehow. PLEASE I BEG YOU!!!!!! YOU KNOW ME!!!!!!!! Please free me from my insecurities and fear and panic and falseness and confusion, awaken my soul, be strict, let me seek refuge not in wickedness but in you. Please calm me down, please give me a new mind, please wake my love again. I know it's there. I know we can do it, we can do it, we almost did it, I know we can do it. Now that I know that you are real. I want to be real too. But please don't let me ask, please you be in control, please only don't destroy I, you know what I mean. Don't let me be afraid of you. Please just be there, please guide me through, and let me not ask anything from you. I'm so sorry, I want to choose you, and you only, your divinity. Let me not ask anything, hineinu, I'm just here, the worst of the worst, unteachable and defiant and even proud of it, the pain too much, too late seen as love, of course, as if something wouldn't have been the epitome of failure, I tell you I want to live, and give my LIFE and my LOVE. I know you have a plan Almighty, don't let me know, but I want you to know I still believe in you, and I want you to know that I desperately need you and that I want to tell you so much and that I'm so sorry for the things that I did do and especially for the things I didn't do. PLEASE GIVE US ANOTHER CHANCE!
