THE TOXIC FILIPINA - Can You Spot Her? 

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This has to be your best video. As a Filipina myself, all of these things need to be said.

This is a great, honest presentation that Westerners need to pay attention to and need to incorporate in their minds when dealing with Filipinos. Don't worry, you are carrying your own cultural luggage with you wherever you go.

Nothing more infuriating than dealing with someone (especially someone you care for in any way) who denies, denies and TRIES to evade any obvious culpability. Thanks for giving me the Filipino heads-up. 😁

Life is short, don't settle for less than you deserve. Ignorance is not a crime, but choosing to remain that way is a fatal flaw in my book.

The ability to see the flaws in your own culture is impressive. Most can't and wouldn't want to even if they could. It is even more impressive to take active steps to correct that flaws that ones own culture has left in oneself.

Everything in your video is spot on. As a Filipina I can relate to all of this. I am the Bunso and all of my siblings are much older than me. I am 38 and my oldest sister is 65. I am a menopause baby. Most of my life, I have seen everything you talked about. Most involved me. When I left home and married an American, I went from the outcast to the superstar. I have never forgotten what was done to me but I try to not be spiteful even though the same people who bullied me and made me the bad guy beg me for money now. I still help out but I did not put them on easy street either. My husband helped me to forgive and it put me at peace. Thank you for your videos.

This is really a subject foreign men need to hear. Guys really need this so they can be prepared for the reality in the country. Because many guys get here and besides the culture shock, they have no idea how bad things can get when they have a beautiful Filipina with a few screws loose. Anywho, good video, Pea.

As a Filipina myself, I think I'm pretty lucky. My parents didn't choose my career for me. They actually gave me a choice! Also, my family is not the fiesta type. Though I must say most of the ones you mentioned are VERY accurate and true! Thanks Pea, this will surely let Westerners learn about the negative side of our culture. Also, funnily enough, my partner is an American. He helped and taught me that admitting mistakes and good communication (tampo wouldn't fix anything! lol) go a long way! Good job, Pea! xoxo

My advice. Move about an hour away from her family. Close enough to visit. far enough away for the drama not to reach you.

Pea, after having been in a relationship with a Filipina for 45 years, your presentation is absolutely on point. I’ve seen aspects of each and every point you made.

I truly enjoy cultural anthropology. This video was well-written, well-produced and well-thought-out. Thank you

From all the relationships I have ever been that involved Filipinas. I can say that there is at least one instance of everything that you ever said. My partner doesn't have to face a majority of the things that you said. But she is still expected to support the family as her sister is overseas, and her brother passed away sadly. There were times I was frustrated with the whole situation with previous relationships. My one ex made it seem like her family always needed support for something, to the point where the uncle just flat out told her to stop worrying. She actually had the audacity to ask me for money after I told her I was fired from my previous job. Another former partner, had a brother who is basically the black sheep but somehow still got away with things. I remember watching people here, and seeing them being essentially cut off from any means of communication or support. Hopefully people here and there, will address the toxic traits in their families and self

A lot of these are common here in the US too 😕. Hopefully we can make the future generations more fair and honest.

I personally experienced the hatchet to the back situation - in which a brother could do no wrong, didn't matter what he stole, what he did and how it affect me or others in the family, it was expected to be forgotten about. You are dead on right that it is devastating to the family as a whole - and to the person that is never corrected. In my case he went to prison once he was of age, because he didn't learn proper behavior because he was shielded from any bad outcomes - and didn't realize that there were real world consequences to actions. It's tragic no matter where it occurs.

How about the Filipina who has been “tossed” around (baggage) from a couple of foreigner relationships that didn’t work out and being the next in line with a deep down bitter fatalistic woman always accusing you of doing something wrong your not ? Not claiming I am perfect..just married to but having regrets.

You are obviously the Golden Girl. Sometimes when I watch you I honestly wonder how you were able to become the well rounded person that you are. Even though I pretty much had heard all of this a some time before, you still held my interest with your presentation. You have a true skill and ability to equal and exceed Oprah Winfrey (whom I actually don't really care for). I'd sure like to see you exceed her success professionally and financially because I truly think you would do so much good with all of it. With admiration, your fan Dan.

Another great and informative video pea. Some of these points have been raised in books on getting ahead and success… admitting guilt, open communication, mutual respect, honesty… Thanks for your good work pea.

Wow ,managing life with a filipna is like navigating a minefield . Fortunately their sweetness , love and commitment their partner make it all worth it !! ❤😊

These days, instead of watching Tv, I like to watch the Filipina Pea

Thank you Pea!.. I’ve always wondered how some families who are struggling economically were all of a sudden able to sponsor an entire feast for the whole barangay..

I have built up a mentality myself that if any one does me wrong, i will just avoid these people at all cost.

Really good episode, Pea. I have to give my wife credit for not falling into these traps. Guys should brush up on two way communication skills because that helps if your spouse never had this modeled in her household growing up. Just take one idea at a time, have the other spouse explain what they just said to their satisfaction and then take turns back and force until you talk through it. Its so very easy. Also, if the family keeps pestering her as a revenue stream, talk about these things in advance. My wife figured this one out for herself and occasionally helped but not a revenue stream, lol.

I dated a Filipina girl and loved her very much. Its a long story but almost everything that was said in this video she was projecting on me. I couldn't keep up then the disrespect and mood swings brakeups and gaslighting was getting out of control. In the end she dropped me like a was nothing and instantly got back with her LDR ex from America. Its only been a month and ive been suffering while shes just ignoring me and just going out party and restaurants.. i wish i had someone to talk to about this.....

This advice would work with all cultures. Whenever I dated they all got the warning, "If you even lie to me or if you ever play tampo on me, it's over and you won't be able to save yourself". When I hear excuses turn into chain excuses, that's the end. They have emotional issues that I just don't want to deal with the rest of my life. Up front they all know I'm nobody's ATM.

It’s called; the Cart & Stick or Top to Bottom concepts. To embrace these platforms, it only delays upward diversification, ignorant of responsibility and embracing dependency. Spot on Capt.

Thanks for compiling these symptoms of negativity (usually low self-esteem, jealousy, scarcity-thinking) specific to your culture. We're not professional therapists so it's not prudent nor ethical to try to undo their programming on a 1-on-1 basis. However, how we react to their drama is like their holding up a mirror to let us know where we can improve ourselves. I notice some families with broader awareness have minimal drama and tend to be more happy & successful in the PI. Maybe expats with their different mindsets will help break this cycle for the next generations.

Excellent! So good that I'm listening to it 3 straight times. Thank you!❤

I think if you interviewed therapists around the world, most of them would say by far the majority of cases they work on are down to family, going right back to childhood. I spent most of my working life working with adults with severe mental health issues and special needs. A lot of trauma down to family. Don't think it would ever be a problem for a family you made lovely Pea, you're always so up front and honest. Stay well and happy lovely! ❤🥰

So very true,your so very wise for a young women of 25.. seriously I can confirm after 14 years I have come across everything you have said.

Hello Miss P. You're couple minutes early and so my let's start this great show big thumbs up

The whole thing distills to an insane obsession with “saving face.” The entire dynamic is something I can live very well without. I’d rather be alone than deal with any of it.

Good evening my friend Pea! I really love how you are not afraid to take on any subject and open people minds and make thrm think. People are often times afraid to get out of their comfort zone in life. Don’t ever change that part of you Pea. Stay sweet and be safe.

Your video is spot-on for the dynamics of my family. My youngest brother was a golden child. My younger sister was a family narcissist who could do no wrong. My upbringing led me to choose a toxic Filipina about 37 years ago. I did not follow my true feelings and let go of a much more compatible Filipina I loved, but life got in the way, and we had to go our separate ways. My first toxic fiance, I ended up bringing her here to the States. Our relationship fell apart before we got to the altar. Thank heaven I didn't end up marrying her. It has taken me several decades to understand Filipino culture, and your advice is spot-on. I wish I had learned these lessons 30 years ago and could have avoided some of the grief you referenced in your video.

Another great video, Pea. I really appreciate your willingness to not sugar-coat things when it comes to uncomfortable subjects. I've seen many of the behaviors you describe with families in Thailand. Especially in Isaan, a northeastern province that is generally poorer and more rural than the rest of Thailand. Many of the bar girls you'll see in Pattaya, etc. are from Isaan. The pressure on them to send money home for the family is enormous and unending. "Family" sometimes including able-bodied cousins and uncles who'd rather drink whiskey all day rather than get a job. 🙄

Good info. Bet you'll catch a bucket of hell from the locals for sharing this info. Good luck! Love U Pea.

Thanks for the honesty Pea. It's something that has to be in order to have a lasting relationship. Lies and excuses may get you to the next day but will eventually end it. TC God bless y'all 🙏✝️

Something very special and unique about you Pea. Thank you for your videos.

Thanks for being so vulnerable by clearing this up. You’re the best Pea!

I don’t agree with lots of your videos (but doesn’t mean I don’t respect you, I just grew up in the city where my values are more aligned with modern / western ideologies). I’ve never really identified as a conservative, shy Filipina - but this is spot on. Regardless of the background it’s sad to see how it’s a collective experience. My family (me, my mom and my sister) separated from the rest of our big family because of all that you mentioned. At first my mom raised me quite traditionally, but she evolved with the times, although damaged has been done and it’s years of healing from all the generational trauma. It’s great to see that we are starting to recognize it ❤️

P you're amazing and how I wish I would have talked to you about 23 years ago, when I met my ex-wife. From the guilt tripping and truly psychotic narcissistic Behavior. You described her behavior Sowell. Over 20 years of emotional torture, and watching my teenage son become a subject of her ownership and control. Seeing him turn from a laughing smiling happy little boy, to a cold emotionless and non-communicative person, and most of that dun to inflict damage to me. For those that have not have The Misfortune to be involved in this sort of individual, well count yourself lucky. This has pretty much burned twenty years of my life, and stressed my health. This sort of individual will use revenge and flip all situations, even saying you did it. Including now saying that she divorced me! Court papers obviously explain that. It would be great to have a qualifying sheet with points that would indicate emotional health and well-being. Thanks so much and hopefully others will learn from these vital facts 🙏😘🙏

I know your show is about giving us the truth and thank goodness for you. It also make the Philippines seem downright scary. Love you

After 20 years of living in the PI. i have definitly learned that the pretense that "ALL" filipinos are friendly, loving and accepting is true at the begining because everyone puts thier best foot forward in the begining. However after years of so called admiration and "HELPING" everbody in the village, often turns to jelousy and extreme 'CHISMISS" and backstabbing just like you said. My years of Philanthropy and financial "HELP" was easily forgotten and lies were spread as to the actual level of my generousity. I distinctley remember all of the "PLEASE TITO ,I HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO TURN" , become , conveniently " why are you forcing me to pay you". Any how it was good in a way because we learned who our true "friends" were in the long run. My wifes family though were never demanding of me in any way. Rich or poor they still loved me. I see all these "BLOGGERS" come here and think they just found PARADISE , but after years of living here you will find that people are still people no matter where you go in the world. Complete with all our flaws and prejudices. GREAT VIDEO AND TOPIC PEA . KEEP EM COMING . MABUHAY NG SALAMAT .. MAHAL KITA

Watched this video, amazing information. Helps to explain female behavior in general too. Many men complain that women just don’t take accountability for anything. Shifting the blame, and never saying sorry. Great video.. watched it twice

I am very surprised and impressed that you would post such an honest video. This just proves that part of your mission is definitely to help guys from other countries navigate a potential relationship with a lady from the Philippines. All the best to you Pea, I hope that you yourself can find a wonderful guy some day. If I ever have a chance to get to your country I hope I can get to meet you.

All cultures have problems identifying your own means your working on being a better person. Great video Pea 👍🏻😎❤️

I am retired here and have seen many cases of what you state about certain flaws in the culture here. So kudos to you! A rare example of the proverbial well-rounded Filipina women here seems to be your friend Angel. Hope she is well. Keep up the good work of informing the public at large of the reality here. I adore your vlog!

It’s more on toxic Filipino family traits. As a Filipino myself, I’ve experienced some of these within my family dynamics. I learned early to resist these and stay away from toxic family members. I am sure many OFWs can relate. Some Filipina friends I know have been conditioned to seek approval and affirmation from their family authority figures. These family figures will take advantage of this need. My ex prioritized her family’s needs over us. I told her many times about the impact on our relationship, but her need for approval was stronger. I still see her doing the same things over and again. Much of the “help” she gave was not needed nor appreciated. Another Filipina friend was the least favorite in the family growing up. Now that she earns a lot of money, she sends a considerable portion to family members even now that she is married and has a child with a local guy. She is buying the approval she was never given before. She admitted she also likes to be considered a significant player in the family dynamics. I’ve seen this manifest in some mixed couples relationships. Many Filipinas who married foreigners have also improved their position in the clan dynamics. The insecure ones like the validation they get when they send money and when they have a voice over family matters. Some are actively training their family members to be dependent on them. The main takeaway here is that the type of family your Filipina has, and her relationships and standing within will have to be part of the assessment for marriageability. There’s also an economic class and education component at play. Middle-class and educated families are usually more open-minded and lower maintenance. The Filipino families that I know of where children are made to feel like their 401Ks are from those with less education and lower economic standing. This is prevalent in agricultural communities. That Filipina you meet may actually be nice and not toxic, but you have to check the family dynamics as well if you want to marry her. You have to lay ground rules in the relationship. Your new family should come first.

ALL HAIL THE UNPARALLELED PEA ...and always let the ads play

Hits the nail on the head and rings lots of bells 😂 Been there experienced and suffered from all that. I regard it as aversion therapy now, be vigilant guys she speaks with authority on these issues 👊🏻

Kudos to you, Pea, for surviving and overcoming and turning out GREAT! 👍

Thanks Pea for doing this video as many Expats don't have a clue how devious Filipina culture can be. I know from personal experience.Unfortunately my Filipina ex was quite toxic. She hid it very well. But like all toxicity it catches up with anyone. When it became obvious and the lies contradicted the lies and as a result the trust went away quickly, arguments started, She was always right and I was always wrong,and I dumped her with her pleading for forgiveness. Be smart and recognize these qualities early. Don't make excuses for her. She is exactly what you have seen and experienced

Oh yeah Pea!! I know what you mean 😅 You don’t only provide for mom and dad, but to the entire family. You suddenly have cousins that you never mate. And if you don’t give what they want from you, they insult you and threaten you with the love/family aspect. I know so many filiina in this situation in Europe. I myself cut the relationship with my toxic family. Because they became lazy, gain weight, not working and only wait for the money you send. I’m sad during X-Mas holiday or other festivities where family usually meets; but it was for the good for my mental health.

Thank you Pea for all the great information. I'm a forigner and have lived in the Philippines for years. You're doing the Lord's work here. You're saving us westerners who are thinking about living in the Phils years of confusion and headaches. Listen up boys before you go here. The Philippines can be a dream or a nightmare depending on your expectations. Filipinas can make wonderful partners, but be smart, don't give money to someone you've never met, don't think that the inocent looking Flilipina dosen't have claws. Take your time and really get to know the person you're interested in before making any sort of commitment. They know all the tricks. You're not the first kano to land on the islands. It's far better to get here before finding a partner online. That said don't let the bad apples spoil the whole bunch. There are many Filipinas that will make you never want or be able to date anyone from the west. You will be spoiled by their loyalty, kindness, and their refreshingly feminine way of being. They are truly the happiest people I've ever met and I've lived in many different countries. And the slogan is true, "It's more fun in the Philippines!"

When dealing with toxic people try and set boundaries, limit contact and don't engage. These are all difficult things to do but its the best advice I have. I would say that if I was to date a Filipina showing her this video would be a good start. Knowing that you are in a toxic relationship is the first step to solving the problem.

Put on your armor. The backlash of offended people may come. I enjoy your brutal reality. I wish everyone lived in the real world where not everything is perfect. I enjoy your work. Keep it up. All the Best.

Unfortunately, the ones who need to hear this the most, are the most unwilling to hear or accept any of this valuable insight.

Not first. But I’m here watching your fantastic video.

True, true, true. I’m from Carcar City, Cebu, moved to United States when I was 4. My 94 yr old mother moved back to PI, I’ve been going back and forth to PI spending quality time with her. Majority of Filipinos in Carcar City are fake, backstabs, always want to borrow money, they lie their way around…I mean everything you said in this video is true and I experienced it. Keep up the honesty of our culture or majority of Filipinos mentality. Thank you.

This is a really good video. I believe some Africans fit in this category as well. I know of someone like this that isn't Filipino. Sometimes I like understanding why people behave and think the way they do. You really expressed things very well. I may have to listen to it one more time.

Thank you Pea for this insight. As always you are very informative. On top of being a beautiful woman inside and out.

Never rush to find love and take a very good look at her family. They will be on their best behavior until you are married.

I've seen a ton of your videos, but this one stands out. Not only is the content good, but the editing of your material is superb. I have a hard time understanding how someone for whom English is a second language can be that eloquent, plus master cultural references and idioms. You must have put a stupendous amount of time into getting to where you are today.

Great topic Pea. Some content creators just paint the picture about what the Filipino culture is, where in this video, you have described how the paint became that color making the picture more understandable. I'm not Filipino but I grew up under the thumb of most of these sections myself, and let me tell you re-writing the programming is tough. Understanding why a person is the way they are, is just as important as loving them for who they are, and I feel this video helps those that wish to know the path around the mine field of programming for the possibility of a safe and happy relationship with a Filipina. Can't wait for Friday's content, you said it's going to be not as serious, and everyone needs a good laugh once and a while. Keep up the awesome work on both your Channel and your Patreon Page. MEMBERSHIP REALLY HAS IT"S PRIVILEGES! And the privileges are better than American Express!

Good video Pea most of those qualities are my folks. As an adult I just ignore them and just don’t care less stress in my life and I make sure my house is far from them.

All I was thinking when you mentioned that backstabbing had to be ignored. I was like no no no. I hold grudges that can last for awhile. You would think the family unit would banish the member who had committed the offense versus its behind us policy.

a very intelligent lady and very much on the mark.

Listening to you Pea is how I learn about the Philippines. Now don't get me wrong. Other ways also come to mind. Reading and listening to others. The right ones who share their knowledge. Don't worry Pretty Pea. Looking at you is also enjoyable.😊 Thanks for sharing Family characteristics. So happy, if yours had any you Overcame them. My Timbers are Still shiverin'😊

THANK YOU - I appreciate all your videos as a foreigner trying to make a relationship with an elder Filipina. There is a lot to learn and also a lot to appreciate. Thanks for being a guide.

I know a young lady of 23 who is near graduation in the ALS system. I admire her for persevering at her age. She does not ask me for money, but often tells me she is hungry. Her parents have been pressuring her to get a job and help out because she should not be depending on them at her age. I say, THEY caused the problem by not ensuring she went to school when it was her time to be in school, so THEY need to make sure she has food and transportation to school.

OH MY GOD. I'm glad to be Filipino. Salamat Ate bullseye to the heart.

I want to thank you for all the extremely valuable information you have been giving me these last three years!

My wife's family has so much drama it makes my relatives look normal.

Love you Pea. Excellent content as always 😊

It's true what they say,"you can choose your friends but not your family"!

I must confess Pea that I was the one who spilled the bag or rice 🫣 I don’t mind getting the back of your hand for it … My own experience of the Philippines is far from comprehensive, but I can vouch that your description of the family, its hierarchy and the golden boy is absolutely spot on, even uncanny. Another awesome dose of Dr Pea best therapy, such a detailed and precise analysis that your picture is probably going to be on many pinay family dartboards tonight 🎯 😳

Your presentation of this subject blew me away. Whenever I think I've seen you at your best, you manage to exceed your personal best! 😮

Wow, Pea, that is a tough way to grow up. It's no wonder there are "toxic" Filipinas. It's not exclusive to the PI though. My recent ex was also toxic because of what she saw growing up. Sort of the same type of things you described. South America sounds pretty close to the Philippines in that regard.

Thank you Pea. Another fantastic look at Filipino culture. My father was born in Italy and raised in New York. Many of these family traits were ones I was raised with. This treatment is uncomfortably familiar. Thanks agains Pea. Have a

This is very interesting. When my gf gives me the chismis on the more negative people she encounters (mom), I can't help thinking how much it sounds like aspects of a narcissistic culture. And it's not exclusive to the Philipines by any means. We have it here in the USA as well. The silver lining for the Philippines is that that type of toxicity seems to be more of a negative for reasonable people. Here, these types of toxic people are often unnoticed and are seen as "successful" "driven" or "family oriented" when the reality is far from that. And we tend to admire toxic people here. In the Philippines it seems that the good-hearted people are so plentiful that toxicity hasn't seemed to become the accepted norm. And it's one of the West's traits that I hope never fully infiltrate the Philippines. Your "Filipino Pride" is a version of our "American Dream" alibi.

This goes for all cultures. They are in all nations.

Well, I hope your extended family is proud and respects you for the accomplishments on The Filipina Pea channel. Probably the biggest channel in the Philippines 😊

I recognize many of the things you mention happening in families as having happened to a number of Filipinas i know. Add to that being raped by uncles, having your earned money stolen by yr older brother, being used as a house slave by an aunt when yr single mom is abroad as OFW. I have seen the damage it did on girls but fortunately i have seen few a know to become toxic, eventhough seriously damaged. Having said that, i have met some toxic and even totally crazy filipinas, but i am an old goat, been around the block a few times and don't fall for the first pretty face i see.

In most of these issues I haven’t had to many problems with my Filipina. Being in the US and a long way from her extended family has helped a lot. The one major issue is the blame game. It’s that darned saving face thing. If I make a constructive criticism it is always followed by a long and lengthy list of my failures or excuses why it’s my fault. I usually end those conversations by telling her what my father taught me. I tell her the only person her excuses are pleasing are herself and then I walk away.

Thank you for being so honest and taking the risks that go with it.

Love the pillows, reminds me of home. So did the rest of the video, sadly.

Hello Miss Pea, I recently moved to the Philippines from the states. You are spot on on your analysis. Thanks for the info!

Pea, I think most of these traits are common throughout the world. Many parents are malignant narcissists who consider their kids chattel (property) who owe them lifelong fealty and financial tribute because they brought the child into the world - even when the kid was an unwanted accident. The thing that saves us in the West is that we also have rather rebellious social tendencies, and thus the ability (in most cases... 😏...) to call a spade a spade, and just get the hell out of Dodge and away from that atmosphere...The thing that I will agree with is that Filipinos in general are highly criticism averse. Even mentioning something as a helpful suggestion often gets a burn victim response as if it were a direct insult. Constructive criticism is a HUGE part of teaching, and that needs to be overcome if the Philippines is going to step into the manufacturing forefront in the next decade (which it needs to do). Both Japan and South Korea are aging out on the employment front and will redeploy a lot of their production base targeted at Asia here. Filipinos, you're up! As a result you'll need to take criticism as instruction, and not as insult. Having said that, we as foreigners (mostly Westerners, myself included) need to walk a little lighter while we're here. Speak a little lower. Let's call it the "Soap Theory". A few drops of soap with water will clean a dirty pot better than a half a bottle of the stuff...That's all I got for this one, Pea! Great subject as usual!...

Miss Pea you should have at least 20 million subscribers. Life lessons that are from the heart & the head is such a rare event in this crazy world.

I have been living in Mexico for many years know, but it always strikes me to see so much similarity between what you tell us about Filipino society and what I experience here. Although here there is a huge difference between city and countryside, I suppose that this is also the case in the Philippines ?

Your video is spot-on for the dynamics of my family. My youngest brother was a golden child. My younger sister was a family narcissist who could do no wrong. My upbringing led me to choose a toxic filipina about 37 years ago. I did not follow my true feelings and let go of another Filipina I loved, but life got in the way, and we had to go our separate ways. My first toxic fiance, I ended up bringing her here to the States. Our relationship fell apart before we got to the altar. Thank heaven I didn't end up marrying her. It has taken me several decades to understand Filipino culture, and your advice is spot-on. I wish I had learned these lessons 30 years ago and could have avoided some of the grief you referenced in your video.

Pea your beautiful but those pillows omg love them I really love to see some 1 from a different country flying the best flag in the world ❤

Hi Pea Love this video especially you in a police officer uniform! As a licensed counselor with a master's in counseling you have described a dysfunctional family. These families exhist in every culture and my family was of this type. Great content!

Hi Pea, an interesting list of traits to look out for. I certainly think that some of what you mention happens in families here too although perhaps not to the same extent. Parents need to remember that they have a responsibility to their children to help them learn and develop and not just see them as being obliged to help their parents later in life. The thing is that when you let children grow up in a loving and nurturing environment they will naturally wish to help their parents out when they're older and able to do so, there's no need to force the issue. If you are dating someone who has been programmed to some extent by their upbringing then the important thing is to see how willing they are to change what may be self destructive traits. If they're not willing to change then you should probably move on.

Like the pillows on your couch, being British born but American raised. I'll take the truth over excuses any day and reality over image. Take care and see you Friday.

This is not just a Filipino thing. Being a westerner, now living in the PHL, this is something universal. All families have a pecking order and the family members have roles assigned to them. God help you if you upset that order. I forget who the well known family therapist was but he said, paraphrasing here, that all families are dysfunctional, it is just a matter of what degree. My Filipina wife and I have adult children from previous marriages and yet they all share the same problems and cause the same heartache.

Pea, I see you holding back and being gentle. I wish I could talk to you about what I’ve seen.

Good video...Lived with a Filipino family, stayed with many others, and was around them, and I keep my mouth shut...Unless I had a [very important! ]question. I listened learned and observed, and gained more of an understanding and the cultural differences, and also...Some great strengths as well. Love and caring were there too just like other families, but the bonds between them were strong despite some negative happenings and results. They might do things that I would not do if my family transgressed in circumstances. They handled the best ways they knew how to keep the peace. Different from the West but in circumstances the very same results and problems and how to handle them. Peace!

That hypersensitivity is the worst. No self-reflection and this is why people make life worse for themselves because they take all criticism as malice and an attack instead of feedback to improve or ideas to consider. They cling to bad ideas again and again and the expected response is that they will say all cultures are like that.

Hi Pea! Now seriously thinking about visiting the Philippines. I think I want to try dating again but not in a western culture. Thanks for all the great advice and humor you’ve shared with us❤️❤️❤️❤️