Oof, that is a heavy and complex topic. I think you absolutely did it the justice it deserves. Very tactful. Good work! I have no personal experience with detransition, but fear of judgement and discrimination has 100 % been the main factor in my reluctance to even begin exploring my gender identity. It sucks.
Hear, hear! This was also very educational for me and I loved the garlic and onion analogy. I wish more people would respect that we are all individuals and allowed our own experiences and personal journeys, whatever they may be.
I love how you address these issues mindfully and with respect for other people and their experiences. It is a joy to listen to you talk. I understand that someone's bad experience might lead them to want to warn others and unintentionally force their biased opinions on them. But it still pisses me off.
I would have liked if you'd gotten a detransitioner (who isn't transphobic) on here to talk about their experience, as in, someone who actually no longer thinks of themselves as trans. I do think it's really interesting, but I avoid the topic a bit, because the transphobic ones keep getting signal boosted and I don't need that in my life. I was much more uncomfortable with detransitioners before I got top surgery (two months ago, woot!) than I am now. Partially that's because they were threatening to take away the possibility of me ever getting top surgery, which was terrifying, and now I'm like 'well what are you going to do about it, stick em back on to me?' And partially there was the tiny niggle of a doubt in the back of my mind, put there by society (and conversion therapists). It wasn't logical doubt, I didn't cognitively have any doubt, it was only feelings-based, only there because fear-mongering had seeped into my brain. Now that tiny niggle is gone. I'm so happy :) But I'm still somewhat avoiding them because transphobia sucks and other trans people still need their healthcare and I don't want it to be taken away from them.
Based on what I’ve read about detransitioners (the few who realize that they aren’t trans) I’ve noticed a lack of self awareness, and hoping that transitioning will “fix” some aspect of their life. I came across a few stories where queer people wanted to seem straight and have male privilege and that being the over riding feeling for them to transition. For example, one queer woman was transitioning to a man and felt more confident being viewed as straight for a year or so. They decided to stop HRT and see how they felt but decided to start HRT again when they met a cute girl and wanted “a confidence boost” before flirting with her. I’m not even kidding. They shared this story as if it was the most normal thing. 👀 This are some really misguided individuals who after a year or two are forced to face that transitioning won’t fix their trauma and/or that they can’t run away from homophobia and decide to “become trans”. I’m not sure how well I explained it but I found those patterns insightful. For myself, when I decided to start T, I knew that as much as I HOPED I would be a cute and handsome boy with a full head of hair, I had to be willing to accept that I may not be any of those things. Only when I felt ready to fully accept that possibility did I know I was ready to begin HRT. It’s a shame these ppl tend to blame it on the community and treatment. It’s so weird.
It sounds weird to me of finding De-transitioners as "traitors" to the community. Like you said it's all about the journey of discovering yourself, and the fact they are finding themselves is such a good thing the community should support! Honestly I feel like most people have some kind of questioning phase and as someone who identifies as Bi I have had those moments many times over the years. And some of those moments are cause of societal ideals where I know I'm fine being who I am but I would probably have less struggles and issues if I was just Straight. There does need to be so much more support for just being wrong and it being OK without it being weaponized for hate. Agree with so many of your points and hopefully one day the community of love and understanding will overcome the hatred of Transphobes
I'm non-binary (trans masc) and literally only started testosterone because my health insurance required it to cover surgery, BUT I already knew that I was going to be genetically prone to male pattern baldness (they can do wonders with genetic testing these days, and also, all but one of the men on my mom's side of the family had experienced that themselves, and so I could easily have inferred the possibility even without genetic testing), AND I am naturally hirsute - I already had facial hair and chest hair before starting T and, ironically, my chest hair is lighter, shorter, and more fine now than what I had before top surgery. I did not want to be a total bear covered in hair all over my body (which sadly has happened anyway, but I was already super hairy before T, so not too much has changed there). And I really didn't particularly want bottom growth either. BUT I did want a somewhat deeper voice, and that is happening, to a certain extent. And I wanted no period, which can be done without testosterone. However, I would have been perfectly happy without testosterone if I could have had my insurance cover surgery without it. And I went on (and am still on) a very low dose of T instead of a binary male dose of T, which causes changes to happen way more slowly and allows you to dial back the dose if badness happens, like when my head hair started receding rapidly when we upped my dose. We (my endocrinologist and I) decided to go back down to a lower dose as a result. And I am now also taking finasteride to treat the hair loss. There are a lot of different options available. It's not one treatment fits all. Still, I probably wouldn't have started T at all if my insurance company hadn't required it as a condition of getting surgery covered. I would have preferred to have surgery without having to take T. It wasn't testosterone itself or the doctors or society to blame for that. It's the extremely rigid requirements of my insurance company that didn't allow me to transition medically and surgically without testosterone as a non-binary person. My insurance company is why I wasn't able to have only the medical treatments I actually felt like I needed to address my specific dysphoria. So I wonder how many other people might have felt pressured into hormonal treatments when the surgical treatments were all they needed to address their dysphoria, especially non-binary people. I'm still trans, either way. I also don't love that a lot of the detransition statistics and studies measure detransition in ways that do not necessarily measure the desistance of trans identity and include transitions from binary to non-binary but still trans identities. We need a better way to measure this than what they're doing now. And I know of some researchers who are currently working on this, so I really hope that future research will better capture actual desistance of a trans identity versus detransitions that happen for reasons like social and economic pressure or transitions from binary to non-binary. Also, I also feel like people now are feeling more rushed into accelerating their medical transitions out of fear that they will lose access to care all together with the current legislative atmosphere, where even health insurance coverage has been threatened in states like Florida and probably more. And they're going to weaponize the Cass report against us in the next legislative session and in lawsuits challenging the updated rules around section 1557 of the Affordable Care Act, which is the section that prohibits discrimination on the basis of gender identity for procedures otherwise covered for other reasons. But that's a whole other can of worms to tackle at another point in time.
Hola Thom, yo quiero saber tu opinion sobre el que se permita iniciar la transición a un menor de edad, yo veia el programa de Jazz y lo veia muy normal y de mente abierta pero ahora que soy mayor siento que no estuvo bien todo lo que hizo la mamá. Si muchas veces como adultos aun las personas estan descrubriendose a si mismos y asi como dices se pueden equivocar en esa etapa de descubrimiento, pienso que alguien tan joven no deberia poder tomar esa decision tan importante y compleja. La verdad en este momento no sé como este ella, si esta contenta o si se arrepiente pero siento que a esa edad no se tiene la madurez simplemente con otras cosas yo veo como a mi hija adolescente una temporada le gusta cierta ropa, musica, etc y luego ya no le gusta esa, le gusta otra (y no digo que sea lo mismo pero si a veces no estan seguros de cosas menos complejas pues creo que menos de algo tan importante) Y tambien tengo la duda, una vez vi un video de una persona que estaba en detransicion y comentaba que cuando fue con el psicologo (no estoy segura de quien autoriza eso, tal vez no era psicologo) llego y le dijo que el se sentia mujer y que asi nada mas el recetó el tratamiento. Mi pregunta es, qué se necesita para que alguien te de ese diagnóstico y empezar la transición? Tienen que llevar cierto tiempo de terapia o varia con cada persona o hay algun lineamiento? Nadamas para aclarar, espero mi comentario no parezca una falta de respeto, de ninguna manera es para ofender a nadie, son dudas que tengo y se que este es un espacio donde se puede preguntar con confianza. ❤
Okay, so: First of all, apologies if there’s anything you’ve said that I’ve misunderstood. I’m working from Google's Spanish-to-English translation, so there may be things I’m not understanding completely. But I will do my best! So, to address your questions: Regarding trans kids and transitioning, I definitely understand being concerned about that sort of thing, especially as a parent, and I do think it’s ultimately something that needs to be carefully considered by the parent, the child, and their doctor. But overall, I think it’s very important to listen to what trans kids are saying about their identities, and to believe what they say. In a lot of cases, these kids have known who they are for years, sometimes their entire lives, so it’s generally not a case of them just randomly “deciding” to transition. And while yes, kids and teens definitely aren’t always the best at decision-making, being trans isn’t so much a “decision” as just a fact of who they are. The biggest issue with taking the “wait and see” approach with trans kids is that the onset of puberty can be absolutely devastating. It can throw them deeply into dysphoria, making permanent changes to their bodies that will either have to be undone via surgery or can’t be undone at all. In cases like that, puberty blockers can be a literal lifesaver-they cause no long-lasting effects but simply delay puberty until the kid is a bit older and can make a more informed decision. Frankly, all of the anti-trans folks claiming that kids and teens are “too young to make this decision” should be all over the idea of puberty blockers, since they literally allow the kid more time to figure things out, but funnily enough, they never are. (Oh, and as for Jazz, last I heard she was doing great and has no regrets about her transition, so rest easy as far as she’s concerned! :)) Next, regarding the video of the person who detransitioned: It’s of course not impossible that they had that experience, but I do wonder how truthful they’re being about that. If they are being truthful, that’s definitely not the typical experience. It depends on what country you’re in, but in the U.S. at least, getting access to hormones or surgery generally involves therapist visits, doctor visits, paperwork, and often other hoops to jump through. And it’s even more difficult in the U.K. and other countries. But even if it had been that easy for that person to get prescribed hormones, I don’t actually think that’s a bad thing. Adults are allowed to make changes to their bodies without special permission-they can get tattoos, get piercings, have plastic surgery, etc. (permanent changes they might later regret) without needing to first go to a therapist and prove that they really need those things. And those are all frivolous things, things people “want” rather than need. But when it comes to trans-related surgeries and medications, things that are genuinely needed, suddenly that same adult needs permission and documentation and lots of other “proof” before they can be treated. When I went to my doctor about my anxiety and panic attacks, I told her my symptoms and she immediately prescribed medication to help me--she trusted me as a patient and an adult to understand myself and what I was going through. Gender affirming care shouldn't be treated any differently. Anyway, I hope this answered at least some parts of your questions. Thank you for your comment!
@@thom_is_trans yes, you understood everything, sorry I didn't want to write all that in English in case I wouldn't phrase my points the best way. Thank you, I didn't know that about the blockers and about the other matter I can see your comparison and definitely makes sense. That's why it's very important to have these safe spaces to share information / views. I understand that what I know / think might not be correct because I haven't been thru that so it's important to have the opinion of someone who has been there. There are many people that just want to force their views to everyone (from both sides) and there are many people unwilling to listen but I apreciate you trying to educate more about it with patience and respect. ❤
Thank you for talking about this topic. It sure is a very difficult subject to talk about, and as always your explaining it in a kind and patient way is super helpful and also gives voice to people who don't feel comfortable talking about their own experience ❤🩹
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