i filmed this right after my (two day) break from socials. obviously things are a little better and different since then, but i felt like i needed to say all of this in order to grow. love you. thank u for listening. we got this.
@@stefanioonaasmr623 nope you're wrong ! People you love shouldn't be taking your kindness for weakness lol I hate ppl like you who victim blame it was obviously apparent to him at some point all this was hurting her but he didn't care and still doesn't !
Jennnifer everyone who did shitty things to her that she allowed were still adults. Adults should know right from wrong and how to treat other human beings. I am not a huge Tana fan but it’s definitely not fair to say that it’s all her fault.
Jennnifer technically yes, but as someone who has been in a toxic relationship where you feel like you have to give them everything to get ANYTHING back at all, there's a point where it's her fault but it's definitely also his for treating her like that. the whole video is about her being upset that she let these things happen to her but you can so clearly tell the people she's talking about are treating her like shit.
“jake could kill my whole family and i would still love him.” someone tell me that this isn’t toxic. honestly even though people don’t like tana she doesn’t deserve this.
catriona m it’s so incredibly toxic, I really pity her tbh. Jake has 0 respect for tana and you can just see the way he acts he does not love her in the way she craves, he saw how broken she was how emotionally vulnerable she was and he is using it to manipulate her to his control and he gets all the benefits, clout, videos and good press while being able to fuck around and treat her like shit with no reproductions.
this reminds me of this saying i once read: "When you are not fed love on a silver spoon, you learn to lick it off knives" - i hope you find happiness and the love you need in your life
A little late but tana did the exact same thing to jake paul so dont put all the blame on him. Shes al for “polyamory” and having side dudes and even shitted on brad for wanting her to he monogamous.
I mean look the dad hes a pos who called everyone who exposed jake for who he is and how hes a pos the dad gets pissed dose and say shit to hurt the other person makes jokes about them and lie about their character and make it look like jakes the good guy
The fact that Jake continued to go on the “honeymoon” while you dealt with the loss of your nan says a lot about him. Leave him in 2019 girl. Boy bye 👋🏼
bryony right!!! That’s what I’m sayin!!! Who does that to their wife?! So messed up!! That says everything she needed to know!! I feel for Tana! No one deserves to be treated that way!!
When you feel pressured around a guy to be the "cool girl" or the "cool girlfriend he never had", it's a role that strictly exists to let him do whatever he wants regardless of how it affects you. It's a position of exploitation. It's never healthy. And it's so incredibly common for guys to subtly manipulate you into thinking it's your idea to fill that role, manipulate you into thinking you're so mean and just making their life worse if you're not "chill" about everything. Have boundaries! Always defend them! Never let them be ignored or abused, not even by yourself. No healthy or happy relationship can exist when you're constantly having your boundaries crossed, or your feelings ignored, or pouring out you heart, soul, life, and effort for someone who isn't doing the same for you.
That’s not what trauma bonded means. Trauma bonding is a term for children being sexually abused by a family member. Then the relationship pattern becomes internalized as a learned pattern behavior as an attachment.
It's sad how selfish these young, entitled men have become. There's no love. It's all playing the game now. What kind of a life is that? There no authenticity anymore and I do think Tana could have given him something real if he had even the slightest bit of commitment for eachother.
this is what an abusive, toxic relationship looks like. “he could kill my whole family and i would still love him” that’s not how you should look at your significant other. it is not your fault, tana.
michelle brittany Yup I felt this way about my sociopath ex boyfriend. Honestly he wasn’t that bad most of the time but when he was it was just.. too much. I mean I’m borderline so my emotions and empathy are high as fuck so I was just the perfect toy 🙄.
michelle brittany it’s called love if u really love this person then u would do anything for them u would do anything to say with them Bc u love the so much.
I feel like it shows that she's genuinely likable and that Jake knows how to put on a persona that people will like. He just acted along and it worked.
the fact that he didn’t stay with her and comfort her when her dad almost died and her grandma passed away shows exactly what kind of person he is. He is straight up manipulating her and she deserves better
Tana is the only youtuber who I feel like I'm straight up friends with, like she doesn't know each of us individually but she is so human. Tana we all love you, and you should take as much time as you need . We'll be here when you get back
She’s still a person and has dealt with her consequences. Try not to judge unless your are faultless . I feel for her and completely agree with what Zia said !
The bond you feel you have with Jake is not real - i had a similar boyfriend where i felt we had the strongest bond, but every girl he met after me felt the same way about him . He was a Master Manipulator. And thats what Jake is ..
I turned 30 this year & I can tell everyone that the people that you think you’ll never be able to live without.. there will be a day when you don’t even think twice about them anymore.
This is something so many people never realize about themlevels that have the an addiction, not just to drugs/alcohol but to a toxic relationship with any one, any OCD behavior taking over the everyday functioning of thier life. Be proud of your self for the realization.
Jakes people telling Tana “dOnT aLiSsA vIoLeT hIm” is just their way of manipulating Tana to stay silent on all Jakes toxic behaviour... she can do so much better!
"Dont alissa violet him" Then he needs to learn what it takes in real relationships if he wants to keep someone in his life. As long as he keeps the same behavior, it will never last. 🤷♀️
Plus like...Jake was nowhere near innocent in the Alissa situation. He and all his people make him out to be some poor victim who got his heart broken by the evil Alissa but that’s not how it was. Yes, Alissa did some not so great stuff but it’s BECAUSE Jake treated her like trash. Yet that’s never addressed and everyone in Jake’s crew paints her as this awful person 🙄
Anybody who says "Its my fault" that many times has been ABUSED in some shape or form by way too many people. Tanas fans have to remember that encouraging her to be "SINGLE TANA" is only dragging her down further into her depression. At the end of the day she is doing crazy shit to entertain her fans that want to see her pissing herself from being blackout drunk or making out with other females! If anybody cared about Tana they wouldnt be asking for "Single Tana" they would want "SOBER TANA". I worry that 1 day she could pass away at way too early of an age. I believe Tana can entertain all of us for the rest of our lives without her being stupid drunk. The girl is beautiful and talented. Tana, I dont know you from a can of paint, but I want you to know that I care about you as as a person and want to see you happy with YOURSELF. I Promise you, if you quit drinking for 3 months you would see that things will start falling into place. Take care buddy and if you read this, please consider what I said. I wish you nothing but happiness and success!
When his marketing team makes him watch this and do damage control and tries to get you back please, please don’t cave. You’re in a toxic relationship. Please leave him and don’t go back.
Hannah Foster she made it seem like they’re doing some type of show together for the first few months of 2020 and she’s legally obligated to do it, so she probably won’t leave him until that’s over
bro if that happens that’s some evil ass shit lmao. a marketing team? damage control? this is a real girl with real feelings. that’s manipulative bullshit to be like wow we still gotta use her and milk this for the screen
Yes but she is wise to know that everything is always our own fault. Whatever happens to us is because of us. If there is anything ever wrong in your life, it begins with you.
**Saying Jake's the manipulator*** That's how manipulators work. They built up these son stories so you feel bad for them and would do anything to protect them. Sadly thats what Jake has done to her. He might not have meant for things to hurt her. But all of us could see she clearly cared more and put more into the relationship.
@Makayla Scarbrough I was raped at 10 by two men and again at 19 by two men. I have reproductive damage from the grown men inserting them selves into me at 10. I now a cardiovascular disease called pelvic congestion syndrome and I suffer everyday from chronic pain. I also bleed out of my bottom everytime I get my period. Ever since I started my period in fact. I never told anyone at 10. Women have killed themselves having this cardiovascular disease. I did put the two men at my age of 19 in prison. It is never someones fault that things so terrible happen however it is the outcome of strength they choose to find within themselves. Forgiveness and to carry on with a proud life that they made it through. I am speaking metaphorically and seeing the bright side to every thing. Also my son stopped breathing from S.I.D.S at 5 weeks old. I awoke to bright white light enveloping my eyes. It was my son speaking to me with energy to get to him. I found him completely blue and limp. Moments later the same day, his father was shot into his heart twice and killed in our living room of the home we just move into one month earlier. I am very strong now not dwelling or being sorry for myself. I see the strength in me from all my experiences in my book of life. In order to fully understand my comment you must read it again. You are not getting the point. You should feel proud of her not sorry. It has buikt her heart not broken it. What she was going through was breaking it.
I’m gonna be honest, I sent the link to this video to a friend and her immediate response was, “I don’t care about these people” and I said it’s not about the people, it’s about a relatable human experience. People are so quick to judge don’t even take a second to slow down and hear someone else out. Listening to others can give you great insight to what you’re struggling with yourself. It also can articulate a struggle you’re not able to express
Hopefully this does encourage someone to get mental health help or to realize that if this reminds them of their relationship they are most likely in a toxic relationship
I kind of agree and don't at the same time. Jake has shown he really cares about Tana. But there are a lot of things that Tana said that shows he doesn't. I also think the only way he will watch this is if this is ruining his reputation on RU-vid and other social media. So he would want to fix that
“You’re in love with a version of a person that you’ve created in your head, that you are trying to, but cannot fix. the only person you can fix is yourself”
Honestly in love with how well spoken she is, her communication skills are goals, it breaks my heart to hear that she's been dealing with so much hurt behind the curtains, and so much pain from her relationship and marriage with Jake, let's pray for Tana, I hope she can get with a therapist that helps her work through these traumas and transform into the beautiful butterfly badass woman we all know she is. You'll get there sweetie, stay strong, we love you 🖤
I’m old enough to be your mother but just watched the Shane Dawson Jake Paul series and ended up here... I too had a f*cked up childhood and had no idea how to love or care for myself or others. You can overcome it, but venting your innermost demons to strangers on RU-vid isn’t the way. Also, having been happily married for 15 years now, marriage isn’t something to take lightly or to enter into for views, attention, etc. Having an open relationship works for very few people, and definitely not for emotionally abused and stunted people like Jake Paul. I feel sorry for him, but you can’t save someone when you’re drowning yourself. Be single, get therapy and don’t enter into any romantic relationships until you’re in a place where you value yourself. Until you do, you will keep replaying your childhood traumas and worse, compounding them with new traumas. I hate to see young women settling for scraps and putting up with shitty men. I did it and wish I had someone to set me straight at the time. All the best to you. Don’t let your past define you.
i'm at the point where i'm being single, in therapy, and not seeking any romantic relationships, but i'm struggling to get to the point of loving and valuing myself 😔
@@lexcoble9835 i'm sorry but how is she telling her what to do? she's a grown woman who has been in similar situations and was only trying to help, and i don't see a problem with that. plus she makes some valid points, in order to love someone else you have to learn to love yourself first, and thats something tana has admitted to struggling with and wants to overcome. many professional therapists will recommend it as well, because you can't possibly heal from your trauma if you're putting all that energy into trying to heal others. its good, valid advice and in no way was she putting tana down. she even wished the best for her at the end. sorry but i'm just a little confused as to where your hostility is coming from.
lex coble girl what are u talking about she is literally just giving her advice that she really needs to hear she is not forcing tana . Plz take a seat..
There are no “cool girls” to the point that you don’t care about someone seeing their ex right after your wedding and leaving you when you are grieving the loss of a loved one/family member
So glad to hear that she said that. Haven’t watched the video yet but I’ve been wanting her to see that her worth is far greater than what Jake can offer her. She’s a power house, people like Jake will only empty her tank.
That’s so god damn unfair, I mean childhood traumas. They follow you and shape your personality. That’s one of the thousands reasons why kids should grow up in a safe and happy environment. I think ppl underestimate them
when you talked about how after getting out of that toxic relationship with brad and then going right into another relationship when you should have been healing and finding yourself, i really related to that tbh. i genuinely wish i would have because i’m still not okay after that
"When a parent abuses a child, they don't stop loving the parent, they stop loving themselves." This is heavy stuff Tana and I'm so sorry, I highly highly recommend counselling and doing what it takes to live in alignment with yourself.
Jake and her are both toxic and manipulative. Noone ever watched a content cop about her? They're both toxic asf, obviously set all this up together and both gonna have another 10 videos on this for $$$
Damn it's sad that Jake care about no one but himself but tana cares about everyone but herself And sorry if anyone's opinion is different this is just my opinion over the years seeing jake and tana age. Yes I know they are both narcissists but Jake takes it to a new level he is also a sociopath. Sorry if my opinion offended anyone 🥺👉🏼👈🏼
Cause the dude has a pattern. He involves himself with certain women who optically give him the apperance of being a dedicated boyfriend. Usually this is done to promote narratives and merchandising opportunities (like we saw in Shane Dawson's doc). Jerika, Jana, Jalissa. These ships are hyped and featured in news stories, interviews, magazines etc. Meanwhile Jake tells these women privately that he wants to be in an open relationship behind the scenes. These women agree because when you're in too deep with money, tv shows, and merch tethered to your names you have no choice but to say yes. Its even worse if youre under contract or living together. Friction develops, and you're torn between satisfying fans, who center your identity or progress as a creator with your relationship, and leaving a toxic person.
Its no wonder Jake acts the way he does. When you treat and use women as promotion for yourself, and use your relationship as fodder for merch be it a livestremed wedding or even tee shirts, you see the women in your life less as people and more like objects for you to use to humanize yourself. People root for love and relationships. We love a love story and happy ending. Jake Paul has taken that human desire, to magnify and support love, and put a price tag on it. Truly the purest reflection of the poisonous nature of influencers. Taking everything precious or personal in your life just to put a price tag on it makes you into a hell of a modern age monster.
@@rebeccarahmanthatone damnnnnn, girl! You hit the nail right on the f***** head. You are one wise woman. It's extremely sad to see the same pattern over and over, unfortunately some of us women, tend to think that we will be the ones to "change" the man. But that's never the case.
How else are you supposed to go about someone dying? Death is a part of life that you can't avoid. Dwelling on the fact that someone is no longer here doesn't do anybody any good. The best way to honor a fallen friend/family member is to live happy and healthy and carry on their legacy in a positive way. No amount of moping is going to bring them back.
Aaron Stark it’s nothing to do with that it’s the context. Tana was going through a hard time and any empathetic person would know that, that is not what normal people say to vulnerable people.
No matter what the terms of your relationship were or what you “greenlighted”, he knew what he was doing to your emotions. People are not that stupid. He has intuition. He just chose selfishness over his sense of right and wrong. Hang in there Tana 💕
I was with a man who never saw the fault in himself, only in me....what hurt me the most, he would constantly refer to me as a child and childish, ungrateful and insecure....im glad we broke up, because i dont want to be with a man that says that to me when i say something bothers me
I just got out of a relationship a couple days ago. He gaslighted me for years. I still blame myself for everything even though i know its not my fault. You always try to protect the people you love. He needs to own his shit, just like you did. Im still struggling with my pill addiction but im trying my best to pull through. The only one who can make a change is you❤️ hang in there tana banana
God I hope people help her realize she truly does deserve better. She's crazy af but she doesn't deserve to be treated the way Jake treats her. Just because they're similar doesn't mean they're compatible. Every relationship needs respect and I don't think he respects her a single bit.
She mad the bed she’s sleeping in. It is, her fault, but she does deserve love, and acceptance and joy. She just looks for it in the wrong people at the wrong times
she's taking responsibility for putting herself in the situations to be hurt even more. Jake is an ass but we all been knew. It was no secret to tana that he is a toxic person. It's not her fault that he is the way he is but she played along when she knew deep down how she truly felt.
girl, we all did this at your age with some dude - when youre older your gonna laugh at his ass but at this moment you think hes all you want/need. but that dude does not SHOW YOU TRUE LOVE. hes a boy with issues. delete him and move on to someone who gets along with your friends and wants to be with you all the time and show you gentle love. boys arent the answer, you gotta love being with yourself first
Jessica Worden I cant imagine being the girl who pretend not to care bc when I care you can just see it in my face and my body. I wish I could be in the middle
@@JahlenJohnson11 its just u want to please ppl even when i dont want so u end up faking that ure okay. And get used to feeling this way all the time when the worst enemy is yourself. And u cant run away from yourself.
So I'm going thru a lot of shit right now and it's nice to hear that other people go thru hard shit too but pushes forward to try and feel better. This video is giving me hope that, when we hit rock bottom, the best way to go up is to talk about it, and it really works. Thank you Tana, stay strong!
Cortney well to some extent it is. Like she said she allowed it to happen. But he did take advantage of her feelings for him and then just wanted to see how far he could push her which is a really shitty thing to do.
i love how you are a super real you tuber. there aren’t enough of you. i think it’s good for you to tell someone your feelings. some people overlook signs that a “perfect” persons life isn’t perfect. i love seeing your true side bc it makes you seem like a real person
To all women: Stay away from handsome emotionally shallow guys like the Pauls. They will bring you nothing but pain. They won’t be faithful and your heart will be broken. I’m much older than Tana and speak from truth.
Agreed. I know she's trying to make it crystal clear to listeners she's not playing the victim card + she accepts responsibility. And that's great. But bottom line: all that happened to her still werent 100% her "fault." Even if she agreed to things that weren't in her heart, or stayed in an unhealthy situation. The people who hurt her so badly still have agency and chose to do such things, even if it was with the impression she was fine. I see it as shared accountability.
i could watch this so many times and cry just as much as i did when i first watched this. she is going through what so many girls go through day to day and has the courage to share it.
i respect this video so hard, and on a lower level i feel like you spoke every ounce of my truth and what was on my mind. i feel like you're my best friend and you've saved my life. every scandal or wrong doing i still realize ur human and ill continue to be there for you. i hope you see this tana i love you so fucking much
This is so heartfelt and pure and no one deserves this kind of pain but you’ll be stronger on the other end Sometimes you have to lose yourself before you truly find yourself again
“You promised the world and i fell for it, I put you first and you adored it” “Rose coloured glasses all distorted” “We’d always go into it blindly” “I NEEDED TO LOSE YOU TO FIND ME” “I gave my all and they all know it” “You replaced us like it was easy” “Made me think i deserved it” Girl lose you to love me really suits all of thjs
