The Truth About Me 

“The reatardedness...” He looked at his pale hands which were shaking. He shut them in a tight grip, “...It took over my body”

I love that Zazef is usually drinking something in most of his videos, it’s iconic

These special effects are killing me lmao

Dude, is this gonna be Filthy Frank's successor

You got in too deep.

Listen bud, i have grown up talking to my stuffed animals, studying wars and battles and playing war with my one good friend, gaming all day everyday, etc. being the definition of uncool. I found myself when i fell in love with skateboarding, i went in my driveway and skated by myself every day of my life (it all started because i got tony hawks pro skater for christmas) and learned how to ollie, 180, pop shuv it, kickflip, and then on, and had some pictures my sister took of me doing these tricks right in my drive way. The older kids in my school that skateboarded made fun of my pictures and called me a poser, loser, told me to kill myself, etc. But i believed in myself because i saw myself getting better and better all on my own and knew one day if i tried hard enough and kept it up, maybe theyd accept me, and I could be as confident and cool as all them. One day a few months down the road, one of the older kids in my school asked me to come skate. He practically had to beg me because i thought it was another attempt to make fun of me. He was like "cmon man i dont bite." I met up with him up at a parking lot on the corner of my street. He saw that i put genuine effort into skating and it was true, i spent all day every day trying to get better, and i wanted to be good enough to be accepted, because of my lack of social skills and how big of a loser i was before. We hung out for about an hour, he eventually calls the other older kids and they all came and met up with him and they left. During this period of time of me focusing on skateboarding, I hurt my real best friends feelings a lot by leaving him and all our old ways behind and focusing on myself and trying to become someone that would be accepted. Slowly but surely i got better and better. I started going to the skate park, seeing the older kids around town more often, until they were calling me from time to time to come skate with them. I had a little digital camera and had a couple kids my age i met that skated as well that would help me make videos and people could see my progress on myspace. In 7th grade, a year and a half into my newly developing confident self, i asked a girl to the school dance. I was still looked at as matt the weird loser/nerd but people knew i was changing. She said yes and i went to the dance with her and she kissed me on the cheek after we danced. I felt so amazing after that. It lit a fire in me (as corny as it is) and i kept pushing and pushing desiring more and more to be cooler and cooler. I tried harder and harder, jumped off of bigger stuff, learned new tricks, started dressing different, growing my hair out super duper long, stopped giving a shit about anything except for skating because i knew it made people like me. I eventually met people at the skatepark that were REALLY good and people that knew filmers, the guys that were sponsored by the local shops, and what not, and tried to tag along as much as possible. Desiring to be like these older, better, cooler guys gave me the motivation to try anything. To believe in myself so i could achieve something. I became amazingly good at skateboarding and having an extremely unique, smooth style and people loved to watch me skate. I got really expensive camera equipment and made full length skate videos, with parts with each of my friends and we formed an inseperable crew. The local skate shops new me well by this time and my favorite skate shop let me have a Video Premiere at the shop late at night, and over 200 people showed up to watch the video of me and my friends. It was a huge success and i sold so many copies, and i put all the money back into making more videos. I became very well known and loved by all, all because of my skateboarding, which i started for this exact reason but never did i think i would become as good or as known as i did. I won local contests, beat people in games of skate, and was looked at as someone to respect and not to question or mess with. On my birthday one year my favorite local skate shop asked to sponsor me. I sobbed. I could not believe what my life had become. But through all of this, i would always retreat home at night and sign into world of warcraft or whatev i was playing at the time and that would provide me a strong sense of comfort. It got to the point where i was no longer ashamed of being the nerdy kid inside i used to be because i felt so accepted. I went with that skate shop all over the country to skate contests, filming trips, parties etc. And i became a big partier and would smoke weed and drink and skate all day everyday. I had girlfriends that thought i was awesome, had tons of girls on my social media that were into me, but since i sort of created a mask of my true self i was never able to have that great of a connection with anyone, it always felt like there was a barrier. By this point i was about 20 years old. I had my first serious relationship and the fact that I had never taken the time to naturally develop my personality, and used skating as a mask, my relationship fell apart and i was never really able to give them the feeling that i could genuinely connect with them. It depressed me alot and made me go even deeper into my illusion of confidence. I spent another summer partying and sleeping around, when i met my current girlfriend. I realized very quickly, that i have never taken the time to learn how to WORK or be much of anything other than mr cool. I sold pot for money to buy boards and shoes. This girl loved my skating, she studied psychiatry however and quickly learned what an illusion i was. I could tell she knew i was fake, and couldnt connect with me, but loved me a lot a lot and wanted nothing more but to feel my real feelings. I stopped skating and felt like i was 12 years old in a world that i did not understand. I got my first real job, and without skating as a basis of conversation and being on my board to feel confident, i crumbled in front of everyone. I began sweating when confronted, acting like a baby, never knowing what to do or say, and i basically had to start life all over. Now i am 24, and i am still trying my hardest to be on the same level as everyone else who had gone through life naturally developing personaliies and real strong connections with others. I struggle to have relationships with friends and coworkers, but i am trying every day. I dont have my mask anymore. As hard as it is, i finally feel like myself again. I feel like the old me, before all i gave a shit about was peoples opinions. I am weird, i am different, im super nerdy and am insecure about it at times. I miss being little and leaving the only real friends i ever had behind to go try and be cool. I nearly ruined myself..i am so happy to have gotten out when i did and to begin living life without constant fear of being accepted. Now i am focused on becoming a man, and learning how to love myself without thinking my sweet tricks and long blonde hair flowing in the wind would get me somewhere in life other than a bunch fake attention and "friends". Moral of the story, be you, and be your genuine self, and be exactly who and what you want to be without ANY shame as young and as soon as you can. Dont let a fake persona rule your life. I have been so depressed because of what i did to myself and how long it lasted. 10 years of stroking my own ego and letting others build my ego as well. It ruined me and i lost valuable time. I have wonderful memories and met great people and saw great things in those 10 years, but never once connected with anyone on a real level. I played a character and got addicted to it. It feels amazing to let the real me come out. Sure, people dont respect me as much and arent as intimidated by me now instantly, but i am spending so much more time talking to people about the way i really am inside and how i feel, and listening to them do the same. It is a long process to find yourself but doing this can really hurt you forever and ever and ever. I will always have the memories, and thats enough for me. I dont want to be like this when im 30.

The god has spoken

I M N O T R A C I S T

Out of all your videos, I think this is my favorite one yet. I hope to see more videos like this where you show more of your actual self. I've had a similar past where I was a nerd and quiet, (I was homeschooled up until my senior year) and then started to fake being crazy to attract friends and it worked really well, but a lot of times I would break character and be quiet or shy because I wouldn't be in the mood sometimes. Eventually I got better at faking until I finally made it, and now I feel like I'm stuck with the image I've built for myself. I not only changed how other people see me but how I see myself. With this new persona I'm popular with people and I've gained confidence, but I don't know how to be genuine with people anymore because I'm afraid of trusting others /rant over. Just wanted to share that because I'm glad to see someone who's like me in that sense. Right now I'm fighting to "fake it till I make it" so I can become my ideal self one day. And to be a little more normal I know it sounds cheezy but keep fighting the good fight brother, one day we'll both reach our goals

Woah so you're not dumb?

This video is like those long ass monologs that the villian in anime makes when they're dying 😂

Try to act normal for awhile and u should be all good

He's too deep... everything's a lie

i have diarrhea

"I'm, I'm not racist, I'm, I'm not!"

Sooo, you just got really into your character :D

“And so, I started to act retarded” -genius

Q&A : 1. Tell us more about your family 2. were girls in highschool harsh on you if yes tell us some sad and hard things from your life as a teen

_I'm just trying to make it in this world_ I'm crying 😭

I like him, cuz he speaky very clearly, so even with my poor english I can understand. lmfao

I don't understand how he hasn't got a girlfriend..... he's hella attractive and funny also I feel like he has a dank personality😂😂

Alright to undo the voodoo magic start acting epicc

An inspiration for us all. But can't you try to act normal for a video? Give us a sample of what'd it be like?

You’re a genius

tis my dream to watch psp unboxing videos with a man such as zazef ,,

"Hi, I'm pretty sure you already know this:"

I'm over here playing runescape you know... It's a tough life...

You look and act identically to a friend I had from denmark, cept he did alot of drugs

Zazef wants us to spam death audio its the new zazef meme he loves it haha

Damn bro im learning something new thanks!

Have you managed to balance out your character and your real life so one doesn't take over the other completely ?

Man this is deep

Zazef, if you want to change yourself, then change is within your inner person. Always search and find the roots of your problems, and then solve them! (you've already found them, now you're able to solve them).

Rare side of zazef

I don't whether to laugh or be sad. Lol

What the heck

Just be yourself man don't be afraid of doing I like you as yourself you seem like a really cool adn funny guy I understand exactly what kinda position your in right now I do the exact same thing and it's pretty hard to break the habit of faking yourself...but just be yourself dude and don't let anyone put you down or anything I hope you become yourself again

Bro i can relate to what you were saying😔..my life is somewhat like yours. I faked my personality so people would like me...by becoming quiet person.girls always used to like me for how quiet i was ..and i took that personality..and now it has became my life..i have no friends(the ones i had since school .forgot me.just like every other person) .you know old, useless and boring people get replaced by better ones..i became what my teacher in 12th grade predicted.an invicible person..slowly being forgotten. I remember what my relatives told to my grandfather when i was admitted in hospital"how is he gonna make it into this world..he dont even know anyone"

Damn bro.. Im a pretty insensitive person but this touched me. I'm sorry that your act to try to become popular in school took over you, and i don't want to be offensive in any way but i'm sorry you had to take that route. Kids are fucking monsters for judging you and pushing you to that point bro. I got your back man, and don't let anyone get to you. Don't worry about what other people think of you and just be yourself, not what took over you but i got faith in you man. Looking out for you Zazef, try to keep those good vibes up bro :)

this creates more questions than answers

Hey where is the death audio

I like your videos keep going 👏🏻

Yesss finally a new video

What's up how you been

You just made my day

DEATH AUDIOOOOO

We need the death audio

I really like watching this for some reason

Zazef's characters are from the other side of the omniverse! Papa Franku's spirit has chosen Zazef

Dude what is your deal why no death audio

The hug heard around the world...

Zazef can you please start IRL streaming? You said before you couldn't afford it but I am sure people will donate to support you.

oh man, I really hope this works out for you

Where is death audio

Your awesome bro u need more subs

I don't know why i watch his videos but i like it

Daamn I feel you man!

Still no death audio? Dude really?

Dude cmon death audio

Damn dude you are pretty brave and can you do a video how you edited your videos

Where is your accent from?

I mean, he's good-looking and he seems to be a pretty genuine guy. I'd date him.

Still no death audio wtf

DO YOU ACTUALLY SAY IM PRETTY SURE YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS

Keep making videos 🤘🏼👌🏼😎

That big ol diamond earring tho

For some reason I can't find your old RU-vid page

Wow still no death audio is he serious

You know what... This dude's pretty cool

tell me where i can get those glasses

This aint death audio wtf

FUCKING BADASS I want to chill with this guy

2:39 you gave me a seizure there! Lmao 😂

Hey this isnt death audio....

here is a question do u play minecraft

Omfg sweetheart MY HEARTTTTT

This is very interesting...

Almost broke the world record for chugging a water bottle lol!

I love you ❤️

Death audio

Man you're actually pretty cool guy

Haha death audio

Oddly motivating

What is your ancestral background?

he’s really a genius

i want the song " Fake it till you make it "

You need to capitalize on your channel dude! You can be the next big meme. You can be the catch me outside girl if you just flex the shame

This is sad I just wanna help him and give him a hug

Dude , this video was actually pretty great so yeah i hope as a subscriber and a fan that you can start picking up in life and get a girlfrend because,,, it seems like youve been through a shit ton in the last few years and deserve better shit to start happening.... because bro you are fucking cool !!

Try to take a break from RU-vid and video games. Read, write, excersize and think. Hopefully if u try to act and remeber the way u were before u can always change

"Became the autism"

Goddam just release the death audio already

Zazef do you have an Instagram?

I FEEL YOU

This vid was posted on my birthday awww🥺

That's deep

2:53 song?

the autism is real though, right?

No joke he’s pretty handsome

Interesting o-o