The Universe Is Trying To Tell You You're GAY!! (with Jacqueline Toboni) 

I went to high school with Jacqueline and played volleyball with her. She is such a nice person and always has been! Go gay Catholic school girls! I'm glad we both made it out :) And her monologue was hilarious.

Here's the quote: "Everything you want is on the other side of fear." By Jack Canfield (co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul books)

i love how u-haul or you ghost is always just mal saying her faults and asking if they would be annoyed

Holy shit, you got Jacqueline Toboni on here!? FUCK YES!

I fall in love with this podcast more and more each episode. Such great discussions and great guests ahhhhh! My big gay heart is so full

Especialy, if you're gen X, but apparently ALSO younger folks, "you have to be a man to love a woman." It messes with your psyche. It took a hot minute for me to figure out that I'm gender non-conforming and not gender-dysphoric. No shade to trans folks. Seriously, peace be with you and your journey. I appreciate this conversation about dressing and presenting in a way that represents you, regardless of your sexual-identity or your gender-identity. Thank you for this amazing conversation.

I can relate to losing yourself in someone else. I did that for 5 and a 1/2 years. I always thought what can I do to make her happy. I’ll do this because it’s what she likes. I stopped doing the things I loved like fishing, traveling, reading books and listening to the music I loved. I was financially responsible, active and always working before her. She always made me feel guilty for getting up early, not enjoying going out to bars and clubs and not having more friends. I have 2 friends I can always rely on. I’m not a drinker, so being in those types of environments makes me uncomfortable unless I’m with people I know and enjoy talking to. I’m not a small talk kind of person. I want to talk about life and how to be better in everything I do. I enjoy being alone and just being with my pets makes me happy most days. This podcast has been a Godsend because I don’t feel completely alone in my feelings, thoughts and habits.

The quote Jacqueline couldn’t remember is: “The portal to every next level is through the parts of yourself that you avoid” Cari Fletcher posted it on Instagram❤️

Getting rid of that "what men want" filter has flipped the script for me...I've been pretty masc because "I can hide from men" and now moreso putting "what women want" at the forefront has actually tipped me in a more femme presenting direction ❤

The out high school lesbian foreshadowed with that box set 😂

The L Word gift was BOLD. Obsessed

Jaqueline being able to walk around Portland anonymously must have been during filming of Grimm Season 3. Because once Season 4 started filming, EVERYONE in the city knew who she was! 😍

Your dad making the merch is so wholesome I cannot 🥹❤

Please continue with the behind the scenes clips. The ending had me LMAO. This podcast is a fav!!!

Thank you so much for wearing the "protect trans kids" shirt!

Campaign for Southern Equality is amazing. Thanks for supporting them. The Director and her wife live around the corner from us. Good people!

Awwww your dad is presh; thats so sweet

This episode had me smiling and kicking my feet the whole way through

Holy shit, I have a very similar story to Jacqueline 🤣😭 (I love your podcast even more every week!) I was obsessed with Martial arts, especially Bruce Lee and I would be topless like him in the house and trying to replicate his movements 🤣. And I remember very well that my mom would say: you need to wear a shirt now. Me: noooo, I wanna show my muscles like him. I really didn’t understand why I had to wear shirts until much later. Also, I got the opposite in my case. I was dressing boyish all my life cause for me I didn’t like being a woman due to cultural backgrounds etc but I didn’t link it to being gay at all. It’s only when I realized my attraction to women that I started to be interested in being more fem. I kinda realize that when I like a woman, I wanna be more girly and attractive to her and that I have a type of confidence that I didn’t have before when I have feminine clothes. It’s empowering me. This really was blowing my mind. I would have never believed it 10 years ago. The brain is really wtf 🤣

This podcast is my therapy. Nothing more to say. Oh also love Jacqueline😊. Seeing the armpit hair on The L Word Gen Q made me think "maybe I want to grow out my armpit hair." I did for a while, it felt so freeing. As a young girl to teenager growing up shaving legs and armpit was just a must. I no longer feel the need to shave my legs. Well, I do if Im going to wear a dress to a wedding. But 99% of the time I feel comfortable with my leg hair. I kept my armpit hair, but then realize I like it shaved, and I went back to doing that. I will wear a dress and heels to a wedding, but outside of that Im all about boots sneakers jeans tshirt and shorts. Maybe I need to look into well tailored womens suits. Hmm So gender expression can be like a pendulum.

We love Finley in this house!!!

I deeeeeply resonate with what you are saying about getting yourself out of societal expectations, continuing to present pretty femme, but ditching heels/dresses/skirts etc that just suddenly feel like things you don't want to wear! But also serving FULL GLAM on the face lol! It's a really powerful experience!

Yaaay, I'm so excited for the merch! Congrats on the launch and it's so cool your dad is making this and supporting you that way! 😍 We need shirts and tank tops as well! 🙌💗

Mal's mindset is so precious 👌

How awesome is your Dad !!! I had friends who’s spouse made them sleep in the other room because they got up at 5am

Sooo good that you have different topics every episode- it keeps it interesting .

I thought my message will be louder if I comment first but i have work and always missed. Anyway here's the message - Mathilde next time and I'm gonna keep comment until she is on the show. 😂❤. 2 beautiful people on the sets again today, beautiful stories. Love it.

I know Jacqueline grew up in San Francisco and so did I. I have wondered if a relative, possibly grandmother, taught grammar school in the 1950’s. Yes, I’m old.

Mal is such a wonderful interviewer. So unbiased, funny and caring. My fave podcast, keep up the fantastic work! 🌈☺

Really enjoyed this episode and the honesty, Jacqueline was my favorite character on the gen q l word and Dani

“Committed to the bit”💀

Can you please release more podcast!!! cause i am really in love with each and every episode of this podcast ❤️ love you 😍 😊

I don't think I've had so much fun watching any other podcast up until now!!

Can we get a special episode where Alix interviews Matilde or at least does the U-Hal or U Ghost 👻 would love to see the dynamics after watching Zoya and Mal!!

This was brilliant and so funny! You don‘t…you can‘t…you don‘t…you do…you would…you did 😵‍💫 I think I have whiplash 😂

Such a great episode, I feel like I'm there having fun with you two. Also: I wanna see more of your with bitch side! I'm a gay witch too. Maybe an episode about that?I loved that the one with Alix dabbed a little on that...

awww I love that your dad made the merch! and it looks so good! he did a great job

Hahahahahahahaha I laughed in this one through and through Would love to see more of Jacqueline… Idea for the future of the podcast (not that anyone asked) Bring the guests back in a year time to review the bloopers together 🤍 Favourite podcast of all Mal you are a natural

The ending of this episode sent me into the stratosphere 😭 y’all are so funny

Loving the kinda behind the scenes banter, dropped into the show. Jacqueline is so much fun. When I was a little boy, nothing would scare me more than when someone misgender me as a girl. That horrible feeling of wishing to be able to say, Yes, yeas I am! While all the time wishing the ground would swallow me up as I couldn't face what might happen next after coming out. It was the 70s a very different world but sadly similar. Beyond what I was frightened off was the life I needed to be happy. ;) My actual coming out like everyone's happened in stages and kinda still happens 17 years later, but the first one to my sister was actually a mistake. I was planning my coming out and decided it would be a good thing to do a first draft on my phone... yeah you guessed it, instead of saving it I sent it to my sister. Her reply was along the lines of 'did you mean to send this, and do we need to talk'. She was & still is great. Thank you for supporting trans kids, they're going through such awful times.

“Because with lesbians you’re probably already in love.” Lmaooo best quote

Obsessed with this episode 🔥🔥🔥

I ordered my merch && can’t wait! 😍 Can we get t shirts and hats next?! 😇

1000% theres also work you can't tackle until you are in a relationship because there is also relational trauma that is exposed but because of the work you've done individually it allows you to recognize those triggers etc

🥺 I love your laugh omg

begging for Chappell Roan to come on here soon 😭😭

This ep was absolutely hilarious 😂

Omg so excited for this merch!! Love this podcast so much!!

Loved this episode! My favourite so far!

Omg she’s SO funny! Loved this episode, top 3 for sure.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 the end for me

Y’all are a hoot😂😂

gosh Jacqueline is hilarious 🤣

Great podcast learning so much!

The U-Haul/U-Ghost this time described my wife. She is definitely an early bird, (but that helps me get up and going in the mornings)…. and she travels for work about 200 days out of the year. When we met, (27 years ago next month 😊), she was only in town on summer break from college, visiting her mom who had remarried and moved here. So when we started dating, our first two years were long-distance. I think those years actually made our relationship stronger, with all of the effort we had to make. We did then have several years of being together full-time, buying a house, starting a family, before she took this job that flies her all over the place 3 weeks out of each month, and I think that was important, to really establish permanence. But we learned early on to just always appreciate the time we do have together. So I’m here to say it *can* work with the right two people… but I understand it’s not for everyone.

Love this show 💞👍

Forget "suposubly"! She says, "on accident" instead of speaking properly and saying, "by accident" 🙂 Another brilliant episode!!!

The dad made the merch thats awesome love this podcast ❤🌈

a year sounds good, wait for me jack pls

YES! YES! YESSSSS! 16:30

Name a better duo! I’ll wait..😮‍💨🥰🌈🤷🏻‍♂️ This podcast has to be my absolute fave yet!! We need another plzz🫡

I also have been thinking Mal has a lot of people visiting who wear caps😉 Thanks for a nice potcast

The idea of dressing to attract who you want to attract has always been something i thought about. The lesbian version of a mating dance 😂

So!!! Lovely!!!

Your dad is amazing 👏🏿 🎉❤🎉😊

NOT FREAKY FRIDAY lolll😭😭

That was a nice episode

Jacq been hilarious 😂 😂❤ No doubt 😅😂

I'm a little 5'2" femme presenting queer girlie, married to a man whom I have 2 children with, with the hairiest armpits and legs. 💁🏼‍♀️🥰 We take our kids to a fancy place for swim team and it's blown so many minds when they see my body hair. 😂😂 You hit it right on the nose! You see the look and the recognition, and then you can tell if they're going to write you off or not. BUT EVERYONE LOVES ME IN THE END! I don't mind being the lesson. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I am who i am, for myself, always have been. And 99.9% of people have no clue what that feels like, so of course they're going to immediately look at me like I'm insane for not conforming to shit that they have NO CLUE why they're even conforming to it! I just let it slide. We're all humans. 🤯😂

Jacqueline you so funny😅

"the magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding" idk if its right

I'm new here so happy to be here with you guys 😊

I LOVED this episode! I laughed a lot!!!

❤ ps- to your conversation: in my opinion, females will always be feminine if they are themselves not hardened postured butch broad shoulder walk with your arms out as if your lat muscles are so 'huge' that they push your broad shoulders out (even though most of the time they are not and you could wedge a 2x4 under that arm) and its a 'pose' of 'strong masculinity', perpetuated most by guess who? males!, whether you are wearing 'as seen on tv velcro strap shoes' or sharply pointed prada, dior, or other kitten heels (or any other pointed toe kitten heel or flat which i highly recommend for the more practical solution), jimmy choo high heels, balenciaga or louboutin stilettos, etc. anyway, im outtie, be good :) ps- did i mention pointed toe strappy flats? :)

❤ i just want to surf, which im going to paddle out soon after this comment, and a quick inspo 80s surf video. i just want to say that i like this channel and conversations. i am a natural born male (with 'normal' male genitals, and i dont hate them nor resent them), i am completely interested in and attracted to females, natural born, and feminine or 'girlie' (butch dude girls dont interest me and i am not attracted to them, and MOST CERTAINLY NOT ATTRACTED TO MEN. i am told i am 'gender nonconforming', because i like things that are supposedly 'girl', and i do things (like take my former wifes last name (we merged hyphenated names in 'egalitarian' 'anti patriarchal (i am a jr too, which is BS for sons as appendages of their fathers' manner,i like fashion, art, architecture, cosmetic art, etc, and i am not interested in growing another one of a million beards (a seemingly wannabe retro 70s millennial delusion of 'manhood' i am annoyed by idiotic male culture and natrow gender roles, as a broad generalization of fake bravery, fake toughness, cold insensitive careless disregarding demeanor, violence, sexism, brutality, chauvinism, fake gangsterism, etc (meanwhile most have latent unaddressed daddy and mommy issues) , (im 53 y/o and have lived with such idiocy my entire life) and im tired of being forced to be associated (sharing restrooms, gym locker rooms, etc) or even being 'lumped in' (i hate male mind hive tech and perverse male energy), with males simply because of a penis. the final straw/s were 2 group male sexual assaults while unconscious at 53 yo (who perpetrates violence, rape, sexual assault, organized crime, corruption, etc the most? males or females, statistically?) anyway, i just want to say that i completely empathize with females who are not attracted to men, or their character, do not want to be attached to them, or intimately connected to them, and find females far more inviting, attractive, 'safe', 'comfortable', 'interesting', etc. dont get me wrong, not all males are 'bad', but they are seemingly few and far between, and chances are that they have at least 3 idiotic male friends. anyway, thats me. nice to meet you and happy to have found you, and happy to hear your stories. :)

Oh i loved this ♥️

Basketball shorts >>>

I'm single too Jacqueline. And wake up at 5:30. The potential deal-breaker is I live in Australia 🦘

Maybe people who are willing to flout norms about the clothes their gender is supposed to wear are also more willing to do the same about who their gender is supposed to date, and vice versa.

Can we please have Sophia Bush in the podcast? Awesome chemistry with Jacq in Easy :D

❤❤❤❤❤

Omg she is so funny

We need shirts and hoodies please 😫

So had you not come out to yourself yet when you played that character on Easy with Sophia Bush?

How come this episode is not on Spotify?

Great. Now I'm in love with Jacqui even more 🥺

Katherine Moennig ,Kristen Stewart and Cara Delevingne please

I laughed so hard😂

Elizabeth

♥️♥️♥️

Can you please get Claire Shaner on the podcast

The "Trying to figure out quotes together" section of the podcast made me spit out my drink 🤣

am gonna call her Trubel sounds cool from Grimm instead of Jacqueline

Please! Grow your armpit hair out!!! I love you all!

clothes aren’t gay. a lot of women when they’re young and still little girls want to be active, so they wear stuff from the “boys” section. your parents probably wanted you to be comfortable, and so you could play easier. it’s just that usually straight women when they get older, they start to dress more feminine while gay women don’t. when you’re a kid you’re just more likely to wear whatever parents buy for you. we need to move past the idea that clothes have a gender anyway

Love your podcast so much and helps me really, I think I'm lesbian but I just don't find b00bs and and stuff attractive at all so that confuses me sooo mcuh❤

Trubel 😘

😂

Not everything is about sexuality. I know a lot of women including myself who are heterosexual and married who never wear dresses or heels and makeup is very minimal.