The Wicker Man - Hilariocity Review 

The scariest part was seeing that he bought it on Blu-ray.

Also I don't think Nick Cage had a script. They just dropped him on the island I believe.

I refuse to believe Nic Cage was acting. The producers just told him a girl was missing and they needed his help.

It's been two years since this review and we still haven't gotten time travel. You lied to me Chris!

"Nicholas has been let out of the Cage." I can't seriously believe I've never heard something like that before. Brilliant line, seriously, brilliant.

Got to agree with you Chris. No matter whether his movies are good or bad, Cage never stops entertaining us. For that alone the man is a legend.

KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN HONEY Only Nic Cage could say a line that absurd with a serious look on his face. It's hard to believe someone actually wrote that line and boy am I glad they did

What's in the bag? A shark? Greatest line ever I literally died

Pilot on the ground with eyes and mouth sewn shut, and is clearly dead Nicolas Cage: "Whoa! are you ok?!"

You know what could have saved this film? At the end, when Cage is facing off against all the women, instead of them breaking his legs and burning him, he pulls out a M2 Machine Gun and mows them all down. Then after everyone is dead, he slings the gun over his shoulder, and with a cocky grin says, "Bitches."

Nicolas Cage doesn't care if his acting is good, he just tries to be entertaining

Well it's 2019, where the fuck's my time travel walmart?

16:35 Oh my fucking god, "Nicolas has been let out of the Cage" is the best quote to describe the one and only Nicolas Cage I have ever heard.

Can we have a sequel where Nicholas Cage comes back from the dead and kills everyone?

I know I’m 7 years late to the party, but these hilariocity movies are going to eventually make me piss myself from laughing. You’re one of the best youtubers out there man. Keep it up!

"Killing me won't bring back your godammed honey!"

it's not "battle of the sexes" so much as "the director clearly has issues with women" 😂

"Worker bees - another bee pun". Actually, it's not so much a pun, it's actually related to bees. Male bees (drones) purpose in the hive is only to breed. So basically, Summer Isles is a mirror of a bee hive.

I miss these old Stuckmann videos

The biggest issue w/ this movie is that Cage's character only acted like a cop once since he'd gotten to the island. There's no real investigation, no real deductive reasoning. He's just wandering from one set piece to another aimlessly as these crazy ladies give him the run around.

Chris, how have you not yet done a Hilariocity review of Vampire's Kiss yet. Nicolas Cage on absolute top form. COMPLETELY trumps the Wicker Man's levels of batshit

cage: what's in the bag? my career or something?

Ok Chris, you literally brought me to tears with the”oh my god” impression !!😂🤣😂

"There's no such thing as 'self help'. If somebody else provided it, it's just 'help' "...George Carlin

My wish list: -Street Fighter -Birdemic -Troll 2 -Manos the Hands of Fate -Any Uwe Boll movie

I feel like you’re making fun of my shark bag.

2014 Chris: "Time travel gets invented in two years then I probably shouldn't do anything different, right?" 2019 Chris (after seeing Avengers: Endgame): That's not how time travel works!!

when he starts knocking woman out I pissed the bed

thanks for the suggestion chris, but i can't watch this movie, cause... MY EYES! I LOVE MY EYES!!!

Am I the only person who actually loves Con Air?

when I first watched this I felt bad for Nick Cage at the end, it actually was really upsetting.

“Once nic cage is freed he’s prett mad, and *wet* and mad, and extremely *mad”* I feel like this was the direction for that scene

Chris Stuckman's impersonations are gold... Dude can impersonate anybody...

First: Thanks Chris for the review! Made me laugh a lot :D (I AM SO LATE FOR THIS :D) Second: I don't know, if you have analyzed this movie a little further since the upload, but here are some of my thoughts about it. Yes, the movie is weird, chaotic and more upsetting than creepy or scary. As Nicolas says himself throughout the movie, a lot doesn't make sense and maybe never will. But I think, that a few things actually make sense. Everything's OK: To me, he doesn't really smile, when he picks up the tape. That sentence is more like an ironic foreshadowing of what lies ahead of him. The car/truck scene: I believe that the mother and the daughter are from that island. Car unregistered, mother nervous, "they are moving", daughter acts weird. Maybe the truck was an assassin, who wanted them dead, before they can spread any info about that island. OR maybe they are just some unlucky people. Still though, the girl is the one he keeps seeing in the movie. Same red cardigan, same pigtails. I guess that Nicolas' desperate attempt to find the "missing girl" is his way of coping with his past and that he could not help that woman and girl in the car accident. The people on the island being all weird don't make it any easier for him. I guess the harder they work him, the more it is worth, that he doesn't give and eventually comes to the gathering willingly (at least that's what the bee queen says, but I'd call bullcrap). Men don't speak: Maybe they have their tongues cut out? This is my vage opinion, haha: Maybe instead of being circumcised after being born, boys just have their tongues being cut out. :D Taking away any words or freedom of speech from them, since women rule the island. As you said, the bee reference is pretty accurate. I am not sure about the phone calls, too. Not sure about other things. But these 3 things made sense to me. What do you think?

The original version with Christopher Lee was better. Actually scary.

When I need a pick-me-up, I come here and rewatch your amazing review of The wicker man. Year after year, it makes me laugh every time.

It's been 2 years. Where's my time machine?

Thing is, the ridiculously convoluted setup for their plan was in the original as well.

The whole thing about the girl + the truck is Cage is obviously tramuatized by the incident, and saving this other Little girl on the island is a form of redemption for him. And it gives the script cause to have "scary" PTSD dream sequences with dead little girls. It is unnecessary, saving the daughter of an old flame is motivation enough, and being on weirdo island looking for a girl who may be dead could cause scary dreams, but the truck sequence just sells it harder I guess.

You're right about Nicolas Cage. He's been in some good movies and also in some real stinkers, however, no matter how bad the writing, the part, or even his acting can be, he's still quite entertaining and can hold an audience. It's simultaneously very strange and intriguing. Not sure what it is exactly but it's fun to see him even in those stinkers and The Wicker Man is DEFINITELY one of those. Super review!

Massive plot hole I don't think you mentioned, Chris! In the end of the movie when the ladies have him surrounded, he tries to shoot them but they took the bullets in his gun. If you go back to the last time he slept or took off any clothing or equipment, he picks up his gun and checks the magazine. WHEN DID THEY TAKE THE BULLETS

Man, your channel is a gold mine of quality content

You know In the oh my god scene I kinda feel like he actually does a good job of acting how someone would react seeing something so terrifying and ridiculous. He is just dumbfound and nearly speechless and he has this perfect tone of horror, desperate fear and wtf

i'm a depressed person and I smile when I get a good self-help product. I'm not kidding.

The last 10 minutes of this movie is Cinematic Gold. He's just deckin' those ladies left and right and those BEE's! Fuck yeah!

I just discovered you. This was very funny.

I disagree that the scene with the lady and little girl are pointless....I'm not saying it was used well, but it's a piss poor version of how Dr Lector exposes Clarice's desire to save the kidnapped girl because she couldn't save the lamb. It was meant to show how he couldn't save that girl so he's really bent on finding this lost girl. Like I said not handled well, but was there for a reason

I need my daily dose of Chris' reaction to Shark-In-The-Bag at 7:23 because it's just too darn great.

The movie is a misunderstood masterpiece, kind of similar to Stay. Let me explain why.... The whole movie feels like an entire dream sequence, that is because the entire movie is a dream. In the beginning Nicolas cage speaks to a mother and her child. he seems to care for them. The car then gets rammed by a semi and the mother dies leaving her child alone in the car . Nic Cage tries to help the girl but it's too late, the car explodes killing the girl and knocking Nicalos off his feet, causing him to faint. The entire movie is centered around Nicolas Cage finding this lost girl because he wanted to save the girl that died at the beginning of the movie but he failed at doing so.

Chris...you got your axisees all crossed. Hilariocity ensues. A clear violation of the 180º rule. Present Chris and future Crhis are both looking in the same direction, talking to the left hand corner. What's in that corner, Chris? What's in that corner?

In The Avengers (1998), Sean Connery is dressed as a bear on a table with many other guys dressed in bear costumes. WTFFFF

Hello from 2016 There's still no frickin time travel

Omg as a subscriber I'm so glad that at some point since 2014 u decided to stop using those gross body shaming jokes from 1920

Watching this 9 years later, I realized this was pre-tattoo Chris. That reminds me. I need another tattoo😊

Ok Chris…….how have you not done Vampires kiss yet? I’m rewatching this review for like the 10th time and asking myself the same question I did when I first watch this series, “why hasent vampires kiss happened?!?!” Please please PLEASE!!!!? ps: keep up the work bud. Love everything you do.

I see Chris has a fiance or as Tommy Wiseau would say, "Future wife"

It’s 2019 and still no time travel

......he's got no eyes, he's got no hands , he's mouth is sewn shut.. what does he do? wake him up .' i keep going back to that.hahaha

The original is pretty good, but this one is pretty craptastic. Great review

Nice opening skit. Love the awareness of the tshirt thing heh. One thing that kind of threw me off, both of your selves are both looking to the left. Feels like the standing self should of been looking right.

NOT THE MEMES NOT THE MEMES THEY ARE IN MY EYES

the prologue performance deserve a hilariocity review.

This movie is such an insult to the original ;..;

Honestly the bear suit punch made me laugh so hard the first time, I rewound it like 6 times. Lol

Skip to 17:08 to see the future Mrs. Stuckmann.

oh god... oh my god!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!

I just want to say that I find it unbelievably satisfying and beautiful that there exists a "nicolas cage bear suit scene" in this world.

"..the ultimate old hag of all the old hags". 💀💀💀😂😂😂😂

Nick Cage is not of this world. His existence transcends spacetime.

Bitches! You Bitches! Killing me won't bring back your GOD DAMN HONEY! XD

"NOT THE BEEEEEES!!!!" Can't forget that xD

12:42 is just, art.

why have you Not reviewed the original the wicker man from 1973 yet ?? :)

Don't say your fiancee, the right term is "My Future Wife"!

i bought this years ago not realizing it wasn't the one from the 70's. needless to say i was VERY disappointed! BEEEEEE MOVIE!!!!!

You make me watch wicker man again. I found the movie so bad, I just survived it because I knew that Nicolas Cage is really a guy who has to do great and crap movies. Now that I've seen the review, I get the feeling that this is about 3rd wave feminism. It all makes sense that way.

It's a good comedy.

Age shaming at it's finest

Not great a film, agreed. But the scene with the car being crashed in to, I believe it was done to create guilt for not being able to help and therefore, he was more driven to save his daughter and not fail like he did with that girl in the car

Ok. Where the f*** is my time machine?!?!?!

Do Birdemic: Shock and Terror!

Welp... at least The Wicker Man is a good Iron Maiden song.

And the James Franco cameo at the end... in the bar... Bar Guy #1 just bananas 🙈😂

Nic Cage is a great sport! Almost as if he KNOWS his movies suck, and he just hams it up for the audience. Kudos to Cage. Been a LONG time since he made a decent film...but hey, he is ALWAYS enjoyable to watch in all his "so bad it's good" glory.

...so anyway, I just bought a jar of honey from the farmers market today

The bees, they're tearing my flesh off, run for your lives. Eh, Tommy Boy is better.

If he only chose The World's End !!

Review Birdemic and if your feeling adventurous review Birdemic 2

The birds and the BEES. That's what men are for in this film.

10...years... Still no time travel.

I kinda liked Con Air..

One of the ads that played during this video was a trailer for a forthcoming sci-fi movie called Jiu-Jitsu. It's a promising hilariocrity prospect. Yup, I'm calling it early. I want Chris to do a hilariocity review of that movie. Thank you and you're welcome.

she didnt even have a reaction, he coaxed it out of her

It’s been 6 years and there’s no time travel, Chris you lied to us

Nick Cage in a bear suit punching an old woman in the face. The single greatest moment in the history and future of movies.

_"What's in the bag? A shark or something?"_ -- a classic Nicolas Cage line!

Sooo it's been 4 years and no time travel at wal-mart...

*Nicholas Cage punches lady* Nicholas has been let out of the cage! I couldn’t stop laughing XD

You look like the love child of Paul Rudd and Chris Pratt.

Nick Cage is such a wildcard. He's in the best and the worst movies of all time. Main problem: He takes any and every role that is offered to him.