Outcome matrix: Disengage, blow it off, vs confront and get apology or life changing event for the worse. Decision matrix here is a clear disengage. Good video.
@@88kar88 I totally agree. Sharing his content gets more viewers/subscribers. It helps him build his audience. I shared this with both of my sons and my gf’s son and told them to share with their friends. We had a situation not too long ago where there was a large group of drunk guys at a drag racing event and we use that situation a lot to discuss how to handle those folks and what would happen if we were forced into a confrontation.
Abide. Seriously though, the recognition that death is an outcome in any confrontation is what separates the mature from the immature. Tough stuff to grapple with. Pun intended.
Sorry that happened to your kids. I appreciate you sharing your story w/ us; to include the "what if's", and possible outcomes from the different reactions to each scenario. We all need an ego-check. For me, I need one (or multiple) each-day to insure I make the best choices to keep me and my family safe. Life is really about choices. Great message, thank you. BTW, I love the intro/outro punk songs. Throw in some Strung Out in there!
I struggle with anger when I'm out on the road or encounter an unpleasant encounter. I needed to hear this. Thank you for the sage and realistic advice.
I used to as well. Being an old(er) fart now I have had time to realize, it will be there when I get there. And, if I’m late, its NOT that other person’s fault or problem. Stay calm Amigo.
I still have outburst but thank God I follow my mantra - “Do not engage with crazy people.” Saved my butt a bunch of times 👍 Edit: I recommend not saying this out loud during a potential incident 😬
Stop and think to yourself, is a reaction necessary? Is this worth it. What are the possible outcomes here. Why do I even care? What sort of benefits will a confrontation bring into my life? What do I stand to lose? I’ve made it a habit to run through these questions in such a situation. A big one for me is catching a charge that would cause me to lose my 2nd amendment right
Thinking through actual Worst Case Scenario - before taking action / making a decision - is #1 the BEST skill and lesson you can teach your children! 👏💯
I've heard that, "I would have punched that DS out". I reply, "I'm 6'6, you would have done exactly what I did, make yourself as small as possible like the millions who went through before me and the millions who will after me."
Wise man once told me you win 100% of the fights you walk away from. I think this video is really important t and I hope a lot of young men see this as I know I had a temper when I was younger and would fight at the drop of a hat. I think you made the best call and taught your boys something they will always remember going forward. Great job!
Do the hard thinking before the fight. Stress is not conducive to good decisions.. so get the brain-work done when you can really be logical. 1. Know the what you can physically do.(KSAs) 2. Know what you can legally do. (The Law) 3. Know what costs you are willing to pay. ($, injury, mental, spiritual) Then, create your personal ROE. And live them.
These are my favourite kinds of videos, they are rare, but I love that you are simply trying to make all of us better people. You seem like a genuinely great guy Ivan.
You were exactly right sir, people need to remember to think before they act. I work in one of the most dangerous cities in America and have similar situations everyday. Do Not Engage unless necessary is what I tell myself constantly.
You are a good Father to your boys. And, I love this type of philosophical discussion. You mitigated risk perfectly by avoiding conflict according to your plan (and common sense).
I used to get into a lot of trouble being impulsive and thought i was proving a point or gaining my honor back. Truth is you sully yourself and demean yourself by resorting to violent confrontation. Not only that but its not a movie.. there are very real reprecussions to your actions. One wrong move and someones injured, dead or you at best end up in jail even if you win. True power is in restraint and self control. Its harder said than done because ego and pride always seems to make you intoxicated and blind with irrational thinking. I am sorry your kids and yourself had to deal with that. And im sure a part of it stings to not do what im sure every fathers natural inclination is. But know that you are showing them how to be real men of character and you certainly made the right choice. Cant protect your kids from a prison cell and you wouldnt have changed these people or corrected their behavior.. nothing of value would have come from it. I applaud you sir. Keep being that good father and example. I wish i had it when i was growing up. It wouldve saved me a lot of grief.
As a person who's had many physical confrontations myself, it took me a few decades to realize, that I have nothing to prove. I know now, that I was just immature, and insecure. Your statement above is based out of pure wisdom. Take care.
People think I'm odd for "over-examining" little things like these that I encounter. I feel like it's healthy for me, someone who carries a firearm everyday, to try and gauge how I will react in situations like this and do my best to consider the best and worst outcomes. Thanks for great advice.
I am by no means the best Christian out there but I remember my pastor telling me once. When someone does something harmful to your spirit you should try to pray for that person you don't know what is ahead for them (they may be in your path because they need some prayer) if you continue praying with an honest heart you may not only help him but I have found that God has soothed my soul by the end of the prayer.
Wise words. It is also instructive to assume that any potential adversary may be similarly armed. So think twice, or maybe three or four times before considering violence.
You're a good man, Ivan, and good dad. This message is a crucial message to get out there to all the men who aren't as secure as you and who very well could have handled the situation in a way that would have ended in genuine disaster.
Great video, I've shown this to my fourteen year old daughter. More articulate than I could convey it, I think. At the same time, I'm sorry that happened to your sons.
Great message, you are very level headed and clearly a good father. Also I pity the person who actually wants to be violent towards Ivan or his kids considering all the people he has put into the ground.
Excellent learning moment. I've known some rough characters. Sometimes flipping someone off is just how they say Hi. Some people don't like kids and want to make sure they are left alone by them. Either way, they might be good people. Teaching your kids to understand the use of violence, and the value of restraint is one the most important roles a parent has. Well done.
Great video. A lot more people in this world need to understand and hear this. Thank you. Keep producing great content! And raising your boys the right way.
When you know you can kill someone easily (often, in many different ways), you don't need to prove it to yourself or others. That saves tons of time in paperwork and other related, often unpleasant, protocols and formalities. That's an excellent learning opportunity for your boys, on so many levels, Ivan. Good for you for thinking it through. And, for another day, a village gets to keep its idiot.
Feels a bit like an after the fact justification for not kicking his ass. You do make a good argument and I agree with you in general. I am not sure I would have reacted as calmly as you. You are the better man.
Probably the best video I’ve seen so far on RU-vid, on fortunately I have a short tempered with a really big ego , we don’t alway need to be the macho man good on you for walking away
As a father of 4 I have been in similar situations several times here in California. I have always handled it the same as you did here. If there is a way of escape I will take it. And yes I am legally armed in CA and have been for years. There are many of us out here don’t listen to the media... God bless
Great topic. I've got three little girls and am sensitive to disrespectful behavior from other males. I recently had to beat down a rude drunk. Thankfully I waited till my girls and wife were in the house before I took action. You did the right thing. It was a difficult situation, bc if you would have approached that guy you would've beat him down, and all in front of your family, to say nothing of the likely legal problems to arise subsequent bc witnesses would say you approached him and started it. And like you also said, you were dealing with lower life forms. Best to avoid bar/restaraunts.
Some people are giant a-holes. You handled it right....even though you probably wanted to drop the idiots. Props for the: "This aggression will not stand, Man."
Well put. Thinking through to the end result and realizing we will be held responsible for what we do, is so criticAl. Teaching your kids that thought process and the moral reasons why is a great lesson too.
Great way to address the situation. Especially when your children were there. My wife has had to remind me that I am not the only one carrying knives and gun on an occasion. She asked if my children possibly being scared of me was the same as protecting them. If they too had a gun.. what would happen if one or multiple children were struck by stray bullets? Or if I’d fight and be killed?
