THIS is Why You Shouldn't Fall in Love Too Fast | Lovers and Friends Ep. 71 

First impressions are SO powerful. I was convinced my ex was "the one" after a cute/movie-like meeting, & that led to the worst heartbreak i've had so far. We made many irrational decisions out of "passion" & I was so dizzy over a relationship that wasn't even that great. Being around him made me feel almost intoxicated, even though he didn't always treat me the greatest. I guess I just kept hoping that eventually I'd get the ending I pictured. Whew, it even still hurts to think about.

God is using everyone to speak to me right now! I’m getting called out from all angles!

This is so interesting that I used to stay longer in relationships because of the story of how we met. Lol dated a lot of toxic people. In all fairness I was very naive. Well until 1 month ago after this horrible dating experience. I have been watching your content for a while and you have literally helped me work on the qualities I want instead of the frivolous and shallow things that are required. I love that your content is pragmatic.

This is such an intiguing reflection. Thanks for sharing Shan!!!!

Love at first sight is real. Yet it does still require getting to actually KNOW the person well before dealing with them. Especially before you engage in any sort of intimacy.

I loveeed what you had to say about preference being based on something . I feel like ppl tend to fall back on that as a way to not analyze their true feelings and the effect society has on their perception of ppl

Random comment I know but I think you would be a great love is blind host

It's lust at first sight.

For me personally I no longer believe in love at first sight 🤷🏾‍♀️ there was a few times where I thought I was instantly in love with someone & they were “the one” & it turned out to be a bad decision 🤦🏾‍♀️ just a hot mess! Either I couldn’t see 😂 or I need to take more time to get to know someone which I actually do now. So, that’s why I don’t believe in love at first sight. It’s more like love at each interaction then it grows ❤

This was so interesting. I think people forget to seperate love from dating or partnering. Cause you could "fall" in love in an instant but we all (hopefully) know that love is not enough. Love is great! But you don't have to be dating or partenered to love someone

Love your podcast!! I love you & Jared and your love. I met my first love at buffalo wild wings and it definitely felt like love at first sight, we're still together today. Sometimes love at first sight is a good indicator of future longevity.

Shan I hope you read this, I know you’re not a very emotional person but your episodes that have been more vulnerable are always so good! In this field it’s hard to connect or learn if you’re not being real and transparent, I really appreciate that from you thank you💗

I experienced love at first sight. It was a connection I couldn’t explain and still is, I will always think we were meant to meet each other. We are still together and I will admit, we may be close to the end. Even if I don’t want that, before he came into my life I was still healing from an abusive relationship so I know I still have work to do on myself so my insecurities don’t bleed into us and hurt him. But I have never been shown the type of love he shows/gives me. Our love together is truly beautiful. And even if it doesn’t work out right now, he is one person I can see myself one day being with again and for the rest of my life. I never wanted children or even believed in marriage until I met him. I remember when we saw each other like it was yesterday. Love at first sight is real but there still needs to be work out in it AND love at first sight can be an illusion. But just cause it was bad for you doesnt mean you should write it off as not true. And let’s not forget, we don’t have the answers to life and connections. So what someone else says doesn’t always mean it’s right.. I could be wrong as well! Just follow your gut instinct. Not every relationship has to turn out magical and beautiful for it to still be love at first sight too. In my opinion

I have been watching your content for years now and this is one of the best videos you have ever made.

The music is so much louder than when Shan is talking, it can hurt ears when wearing headphones. Love the show otherwise!

the way my brain didnt process u were telling a story of when u were 25 n thought u were 25 😂

I wouldn't say I experienced love at FIRST sight... for me, it was more like love at eighth sight 😂 Mainly because I saw him around but didn't really SEE him because I was training for my career at the time and was extremely focused and tunnel-visioned. But once I finally SAW him... mannn. It hit me like BOOM. It felt like everyone else in the world disappeared for a little while, and it was just me and him. But for him, it was at 1st sight; he said he felt it from when he first saw me, it just took him a while to catch my attention lol 😅 But when the sparks hit, they hit, and they hit hard. In the beginning, it was beautiful. It felt like a movie: a storybook romance with dreamy moments and intense highs. Memories I'll probably never forget. However, as I got to know him... the sunshine I felt got eclipsed quickly. I don't use the word narcissist as loosely as most people do, but he was the textbook definition of narcissistic behavior. To add to that stress, he was also a cheater and a womanizer. He became verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive to me. It was so bad, I wouldn't have been able to confront him that I was done because he would've just found a way to spin it on me and make me apologize and stay. That's how mentally trapped I was. I had to just block him and disappear as if I never existed in his life. Like a ninja in the night. I had to get therapy afterwards... healing from that situation felt like I was in rehab from an addiction. So, although I do believe in love at first sight, I believe that for most people, it does not translate into a healthy, long-term relationship. Very few people find their forever love that way. It's more rare than we think.

I meet a guy, I like the concept of him immediately and I try to make him it to death even. Though we have no actual connection

Love at first sight is so exciting and dangerous and horrible at the end... Like drugs 😂 just say no 😂

Be cautious of the ‘stare’ especially. It’s a predatory move and induces trust and the euphoria of being seen, but is in fact manipulation and an establishing of dominance right off the bat. It’s incredibly painful when that becomes clear. Anyway, great podcast.

Shan I think you should look up the term Limerence. It may explain your experience.

SO.. nail the meet cute and u got em HOOKED 🤣 this has happened too many times

I love how Shan breaks things down

Too many adverts

I’m ready for your next book 😭😭😭

hey im a new listener! really enjoyed this. as an fyi, the sound effects being used for the transitions are a ton louder than your audio. im listening on headphones and got startled each time. if you could turn down the sound for these for next time it’d be greatly appreciated!

Can really hear how much you love what you do!

I LOVE Shan's content, I have loved it for years. But lately I feel like there is too much advertisement, and products that are not related to sex and intimacy. Sometimes the videos feel like one long advert. This is just my personal opinion, and does not take away from how much I love Shan. But I felt like sharing my view.

Hi Shannon where did you get that beautiful green cover up ?

The music blasts so loud in between

I can assure you the moment I laid eyes on my soulmate I said to myself who is this where did he come why did I not meet him sooner than now I feel such a strong connection, it was the butterflies in the stomach it was feeling gleeful and euphoric, then having a chance meeting with him Express town we wanted to get to know me because he felt we should have married decades ago, we both cried and hugged each other, and then I saw a vision and open vision omof him going to die, and several weeks later he did, that was eight years ago, the loss of him feels like a part of me is gone, I still love him, and I have never felt that type of love before and after him, part of him wanted to meet me before he transitioned 😔

Here I am a new subbie, looking for a vid to watch and caught this literally 1 min after it was uploaded

OMG Shan! I’ll be in Caribana too. See you out on di road!

Explains my obsession with zombies

Dope. I love this content

I love this podcast! I fell in love at first sight and it was so difficult to explain our attraction and connection. We never had sex and fast forward it fell all the way apart. You constantly give me verbiage to describe my emotions and for that I will always be grateful Shan!

Wow!!!!

Love your channel very informative 💕

So raw Shan

Lmao are calling people who follow religion Zombies? I am not a Zombie 😮. I’m listening to you, I underhand the concept that people will love their life’s and do things their own way. Even if I don’t understand or agree. It’s not my place. And I won’t separate myself from people based on these life beliefs etc. You are amazing! ❤

Can't wait to see the pics at Bana!!

My ex held on to someone that she liked for a long time. He didn’t want the relationship with her. But they remained “friends”. Texting and sharing things on social media. I noticed when his name kept popping up in her phone in the middle of the night. She swore they were just friends now and nothing more. As soon as she broke up with me she added him back on all social media. Biggest mistake of my life.

classic case of when the woman starts to feel something, the guy is over it due to unrequited affection (it's not the womans fault btw)

i love this video! i feel like it goes hand in hand with the ex soulmate episode!

Where is your outfit from pleaseeee need that kimono

I appreciate this tribute to Abbot Elementary Steph. I haven’t watched it yet. I will do now.❤

¿Si habla español, por qué no haces un podcast en esta idioma? Haré encantate para siempre ❤

So interesting

Love the research that you brought into this one!

Thank you Shan

Sounds like a karmic soul tie.

Who was the guy

Man, I used to really love this channel and your content in general, but now I find myself often being slightly annoyed at these clickbaity titles and multiple sponsors per video (3 sponsors in a 30 min video is really distracting and interrupting). I feel like it's just trying to sell me something every 5 min..it's starting to really turn me away from your content. Maybe that's just me Idk, it just doesn't feel right anymore.. like it's just trying too hard to get my attention and get me to purchase stuff. It's a shame, cause otherwise the content is very educational, but I can't even say I remember much now, except for being annoyed at the 3 sponsors' interruptions