This was a tough year… 

Grief is heightened at the holidays. Plus I find it a lonely time of year.. always did.. Seeing Christmas adverts with big family dinners and holiday parties with large groups of friends.. with ads for get the perfect gift... its pushed so people spend more money...its commercialised. Its unessessary pressure...it triggers loneliness...guilt...etc. I can only imagine you miss your friends and family after moving...

The last 3 years, but next year will be better

You have given so much to us survivors, now it's time we give some of that back. Releasing your sadness is so good for you and we are all listening to you. Sending you lots of virtual hugs and kisses.

my mom died on Christmas. ❤❤❤8 years ago. 😢

Thank you for being vulnerable. My respect and love for you continues to grow.

hahah!! Aww :)

Agreed

Yeah. Pretty much. Thank you.

I'd still suggest it.

Agreed thanks for sharing Kati

@eleseclarke6038 ... Thank-you for sharing !! As a Social Worker of 32 years, You are 100 % Correct : )

As someone who graduated in Adolescent Psychology and recently got his certificate in Anger management therapy, I totally agree. Therapists are human too. They are not robots with no emotion. Just because someone studied mental health and is in that field, does not mean their emotions will not be shown or that they will not have hard times. Students usually go into psychology to not so much overcome their past experiences and trauma rather to learn why they feel how they do. I say this as someone who’s had a career in mental health for a few years: Even I get mentally exhausted and that is completely normal. Yes we as mental health workers distance ourselves from what we heard in session when we get in the car and drive home. However that doesn’t mean sometimes the weight of our patients’ problems isn’t at the back of our mind or thoughts. In my personal opinion, therapy is not a way to get better. Yes it helps with slowly forgetting about pain, but it is not a magic light that will go off and the next day you don’t struggle. It takes time. And rather than getting better, it’s more about learning how to manage certain situations or emotions. Cheer up everyone who is in the mental health field. Providing therapy is not easy and it definitely takes a toll sometimes, but we should remember that one sentence of empathy or encouragement to our patients can save their life. Like i can’t say much but i remember i had a patient that came into my office crying and we talked for about 2 1/2 hours. I told her “i can’t imagine how hard that must have been but everything will be okay i promise” and she looked at me teary eyed thanking me for that one sentence of encouragement. She promised me that instead of self harm, she will journal about how she feels. And in emergency situations, i reassured her that i’m only one phone call or text away.🙂

The therapists in my area - of the UK - have a special, lower, hourly rate for helping other therapists.

@@min_hyuk98 Credentials mean very little in a world fighting a spiritual battle. Therapy doesn't even stand a chance against this.

I believe being a therapist places a certain stigma on ourselves making us believe that believe we have learned certain concepts from professionals we cant express our feelings. But that's not true because we are humans with real feelings so give yourself space to process and express your feelings.

I always think that others expect me to say I'm fine when they ask how I'm doing even if I'm not. There are only a few safe friends that I open up too. I have grief that comes up from time to time as well and it can be hard. My therapist told me you have to have a lot of compassion for yourself during those times....your going through hard stuff change is hard for anyone and you're experiencing major life changes. Moving around, loss etc. I heard on the radio tonight we like to connect with and have nostalgia like maybe watch a movie we've seen a hundred times when going through tough changed because it brings us something familiar....maybe you could try stuff like that. My therapist also tells me when I'm going through stuff like that it's also ti m e for self care. My Christmas present to myself this year is a self care journal and I'm so excited for it to arrive. Negative thoughts can spiral downward or out of hand if we let them. I'm not a therapist but maybe also some inner childwork could work for you too here. You wouldn't tell you younger self that it's not ok to feel how you're feeling. You would listen to her and be with her and take care of her, she might lead you to what it is you need right now. Christmas looks different for everyone every country and family celebrated it differently there is no set way you have to celebrate it. Your not alone in your grief after many years of someone's passing and you not alone in your feelings of others expectations and just having a bad day/ time of shoulding on yourself. It's okay to go through those times and remember lots of compassion for yourself.

Oh, so not fake, 🤥🤡🤓👍👎

I dont think its fake so much as its a market place. Think of the world becoming one big farmers markets. The sellers are always fake at these farmers markets to get your money. Thats social media. It can never be authentic. Authenticity is a no no in capitalism where money is the goal.

Yep, I've watched quite a few of her videos, but its for this one that I hit the "subscribe" button.

I wish we all could skip the pain with grief is that even possible

@@johnburns6633 thank you Prayers for you and friends and family too

Any one know where I can get a time machine? Or how to contact the big bang theory people to see if they know anyone who has one

​@@johnburns6633 What do you mean by she's a millionaire? Also, as someone who spent significantly more time with my grandparents than with my parents as a child, I understand Kati's pain.

How come you never married if i might ask? Did you ever want to have children? My sister's sil married at 30 because her biological clock was ticking loudly. She had 4 kids and is still married when none of us thought it would last as she didn't love him like a woman loves a man ...if ya know what i mean. She always dated handsome guys but the guy she married was 'hard on the eyes' ...if ya know what i mean. but he's a great husband, father, teacher, son in law, brother in law ... you name it, he's ALL GOoD. but. he's not good looKING.

hi lily I hope you had a good Christmas and happy new year

Tight hug. Hang in there, maybe join online or in person courses.

I bet you’re a real looker 😂

​@@JaneDoe-tr5xyPlease don't. If she doesn't want to marry she doesn't have to and she doesn't need to have kids. Your comment is disgusting

I am so sorry.. and yes, here's to a better 2024 :) xoxo

2023 has been very rough for me, too. I nearly lost my brother this summer due to a massive staph infection that got into his heart, and me not having financial stability from lack of a steady summer job. Things snowballed, and I'm now possilbly facing eviction court on Monday. I still blame myself with more of the later, as I feel like I was to blame for this situation....like not taking the intiative to find steady employment, and knowing I was falling behind, and sorta pushing my rent situation under the rug in hopes of it working itself out, maybe finding a loan to get myself out (depsite having a shitty credit history), and me not needing to ask family for help. That ended up not being the case, and although I'm very fortunate to have family that can help, it still brings me lots of shame and embarrassment. It totally sucks.

​@@janetslater129 Sometimes it's a matter of luck in life. Sometimes it's just not being prepared. First I lost both of my parents. Lost my home. My pets and two of my daughters 17 and 5. Last but not least - my wife too. Spent $80,000 on lawyers to defend myself against a false accusation of child molest from my 17-year-old daughter. I am down the $2,000, and I really resent the cops and wasting $80,000. And being 70. Wishing I spent that on my two daughters, that i worked so hard for. My trial is January 30th. So very scared. Life goes on I hope.

I'm sorry for your loss, sending peace and love your way.

Omg same my dad passed away in October as well. I’m so sorry for your loss as well. It’s damn HARD and I’m still reeling from it. 💔💔

I’m so sorry; I miss my own so badly. I get it.

My mom passed suddenly one October, too. It's been years though, and I have so much compassion for what you're going through right now. ❤️ That's beautiful you and your dad could support each other and also put up the tree, even though it's hard. Take good care, and be easy with yourself. One day at a time. 💕

I'm so sorry for your loss Jessie. It hurts the heart so much losing your mom. And then the holidays. Please know your mom's spirit is with you. I know it doesn't help right now. But she will show you she's with you like mine does. And yes. One day you will be truly reunited. Sending you my love from Canada.

I hope year 2024 will be better for you…sending big hug

Hugs to you as well!! I am so sorry you've had a tough year too. xoxo

So sorry to hear of all the stress you've been through in only 1 year! The loss of our furbaby, who can be our only "comforf" when we lose our physical things, sometimes can be worse than anything else. Like Katie said, sometimes we feel like we "should" feel a certain way - especially when X time has past. My sweet girl cat died at age 19, January 2021. To this day, when I think of her, I won't just cry - I will sob! I'm single and that cat was with me through thick and thin. I say that, because I want you to know that I understand and I know it's a real feeling. Please know that everyone takes their own time to grieve AND losing a home is also a cause for grief. Losing anything that has meaning to us, will cause us grief. That's something I learned when researching grief, to have a better understanding of what I was going through. I'm so sorry to hear about all you've been through. I hope you are currently living somewhere that is safe. Surround yourself with like minded, encouraging people. One day at a time. I hope you will feel better each day...even if just a bit at a time. ❤

Same. From mid 2022 to 2023 has been by far the worst years of my life. Especially this year with everything in my life hitting different since losing some people close to me, it’s been the loneliest year ever. Just want to be free from 2023.

Ditto. Lost my father, ended up in the hospital with sepsis, severe burnout from my job, had to move back in with my mother for financial reasons with my husband. Two miscarriages. There’s a lot more too. Sometimes, I don’t even know how I get up and persevere. I see a therapist once a week, no meds because it’s circumstantial why I’m struggling so much, but I am looking for more therapy & healing but cannot afford it.

​@Boutys_mom So sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved cat. Hope your heart and soul will heal with knowledge that your cat had amazing long life with you and you gave her everything. Lots of love and hugs to you. ❤ Katarina

Please keep going and keep the focus on your self care. Do not let this world throw you off course even though that is the goal here. You are seen and heard by others who are fighting the good fight and YOU are worth it. Thank you.

If it helps, I do understand what you went through, it's pure hell, glad you're feeling better!

@@christinemcfadyen9151 Thank you so much. I hope you are doing better as well.

@@pamelahowell6064 Thank you so much for those kind words. The same goes with you!

I went through this EXACT situation but I ended up divorced. I hope you’re feeling much better!!

This. I've struggled in my own life, and have done some of the work to get healthier in my life, and even been successful at some of it. So when I see some family members struggle with the same things I struggled with, I want to help them out and show them some stuff that worked for me. But I know thats not how it works and that they need to ask for help, but they never do. I know ultimately I need to give up on "saving people", and I'm doing better in that regard, but it's still difficult, especially when it's people that you see often.

After the silent generation, it's all a bunch of individualists. So I'm not surprised

I get this! Over twenty to thirty-plus years for my maternal grandparents.

i had the same hunch, i but i didn't want to assume anything

xoxo

​@johnburns6633 money doesn't buy happiness, depression can happen to anyone regardless if they are poor or millionaires.

I’m super sorry 😢 I can’t even imagine the pain, hugs to you ❤

Thanks Sharon :) xoxo

Losing parents is a completely different level of pain than grandparents.

​@@lauramcclain8651yes and no, a lot of grandparents feel like parents because they raised us and played a huge role in our childhood when our parents were busy working to pay bills, keep a roof over our heads and food on our table.

my dad is 80 this year ☹☹

​@@johnburns6633 But John, how does money change how you feel or change or stop the impact of life's experiences on someone? Does it stop an infant from feeling how they feel when they need to be nursed, or to be cleaned, or to be warmed, or to be held, or to be hugged or to be lovingly interacted with with a smiling face and a smiling heart? Does their parents bank account make them stop crying because of the pain of having those needs or does it eliminate all the pain?

@@johnburns6633 Hey there. Your profile picture is….interesting. As are the numbers in your profile name. 🙏🏼

@@johnburns6633sounds like you have some deep belief patterns, that are narrow and based on distorted thinking. Money doesn't equal happiness. Past a certain level (slightly more than just surviving) it doesn't increase happiness, well-being, etc. It would behoove you to check your biases, cognitive distortions, and the narratives that develop...that make a very false reality, make us blind to others, decrease our compassion and empathy. It would behoove you to develop introspection and metacognition. Learn how to do the WHOLE equation, rather than a simplified version that leads to erroneous results. Believing that money will cure it all is as ridiculous as believing that if I have all the antibiotics in the world I'll never be sick. See how ludicrous that is? Antibiotics don't help certain conditions. Antibiotics actually hurt in some circumstances. Antibiotics make it easier to get sick later, due to the disruption of the microbiome....yet they save lives in some instances. Same with money. Look at all sides, instead of narrow, simplified, diluted, erroneous conclusion. That way of thinking will also keep you from ever doing well with money, by the way. Your subconscious has such a deeply ingrained, and limiting, belief about money...that you'll do things to sabotage being wealthy. Is that your goal? Money can help in some ways, and we can use it (wisely) to bless others...AND it also doesn't fix everything. Get used to complex ideas. Life is full of them.

I can kiss your feet if you want

Please don’t be sorry about “all that”, what you shared and the vulnerability is helpful and generous. I will try to be more open and vulnerable as well. Thank you, Kati!

I heard that being out of your element aka discomfort makes you grow as a person as you will get past it ... we all have 7 TRIbulations ~ tri means 3 x 7 = 21. in the 21st Century is a NEW AGE. of technOLOGY that not only brings the world to our fingertips but soon we become PART of the 'experience' ~ FIGuratively speaKINg as we all come from the MISSing tRIBe of ADAM who crEATed EVE and why WE came here ~

I am so sorry. For all these loses. I hope there will be some relief for you.

Thank you. Sending you some extra love too :) xoxo

Where did you go for eating disorder treatment and was it effective? I've gone for alcohol tx,tho need the food one.

@@Liisa_011 I went to The Emily Program in Cleveland Ohio. It is very thorough and effective.

I’m struggling with panic disorder as well. It’s especially hard at this time of year with so many extra commitments. I’m so sorry you deal with it too ❤

xoxo

xxoxo

Me too 🌷

@@diannebrett4074 I’m sorry for your loss

"The whole ball of crap is just too big to push anymore," same here.

The tiny thing that popped in my mind was to return to saying good morning, good evening, and have a good rest of your day to people I interact with. It sets the tone, a personable tone that means a lot to me, one that I lost over the recent years of repeated medical trauma.

Very nice.

I did too. I’m an empath…

I’m originally from NJ. I moved south several years ago. I don’t fit in here. I feel like no one understands me. We don’t even speak the same language.

@@johnburns6633 I hope you find the joy you need in your life. 🩷

News doesn’t help either

It's weird in a world we are totally connected through social media and internet, and we still feeling lonely, and I can relate to it because I constantly feeling lonely, even though having my friends and being social (I'm not considered myself as an extrovert person but not introvert either), anyway, we must keep going in those tough moments 🫡