All my life people asked me to hunt down my birth mother. I refused. Sure, I wanted to know things about her (and him), but I had this feeling that it would dredge up memories that were best forgotten. At one point, b/c of medical issues I contacted the adoption agency and they told me enough for me to know that meeting my birth mother would have broken her heart. I truly believe that giving up a child for adoption is one of the hardest thing a woman can do. So, what I did was put a simple permission allowing my birth parents to contact me if they so chose. That was 27 years ago. I have never heard from them. It's okay to NOT hunt them down. Give yourself permission to let it go.
@Tyan WL that was beautifully said. I know it would have been great to have met your birth mother. Also, you knowing that was not an easy choice for your birth mother (all birth mothers) to do and give their child up for adoption. You have a beautiful and caring heart and are very emphatic. 💛💛💛
I met my birth mother. She did not remember the father's name. While it was exciting and i got all the health information i needed, the bottom line is that these people are no different to strangers on the street. We didn't end up getting on. Her guilt was too much for her.
@IP Freily When my husband went looking for information about his birth parents--strictly to get medical information--he learned that his biological mother had just passed away. We went out, ran errands, and right in the middle of the grocery store he started to cry. He's absolutely devoted to his adoptive family, and yet learning this woman's name and then shortly thereafter finding she had just died hit him unbelievably hard. Give your wife time. Let her know you are there for her if and when she wants to talk. As for your daughter, she should defer to her mother's feelings for now. My husband has a half brother who still, almost two years later, has not reached out. These things are incredibly complex and have to move at their own pace.
I think Gubbah's advice is excellent, @IP Freily... get a PsychoTherapist counsellor (if u can find one thru a non-profit agency, they may offer fees on a sliding scale basis, according to ur income). *Talk* with a therapist about ur options / what u'd like to see happen ... look at the "what if's".the variables that can happen ie. if there's siblings, grandchildren, etc.
My birth mother wants nothing to do with me at all. I just wanted to fill in the blanks as I have a mother and father... She was a mean and nasty lady to me.
@@SeptemberBluez Ethan Embry. Played Coyote on Grace and Frankie. Coincidentally his character on G and F was adopted and he sought his birth parents with a different outcome. Great actor, master at subtle expressions.
@@Helen3691 I remember him from a movie called Cheap Thrills and only realized today that he was also in Chevy Chase Las Vegas Vacation movie. I love this actor but didn’t know his name, I do now thanks to you! 😁
@@SeptemberBluez She is as well; her name is Romy Rosemont -- the part of hers that sticks out to me is from a show called Fringe, and I suppose the reason it stands out is that Fringe is my favorite show, lol. But yeah, both of them have been in quite a few shows, they're just not as big as some actors since they're cast as side characters usually (at least in television).
And yet there are those who are in positions of legislation who wish to remove the protections afforded women under Roe v. Wade. Who seek to roll back the abortion rights movement so that children who have been impregnated by family members as well as other women who may learn the terrible news that they are carrying a heartbreaking malformed fetus must continue onward with this pregnancy no matter what the emotional or physically destructive costs to their own lives. We MUST HAVE greater compassion!!! Ethics is a heavy burden. But we cannot shirk our responsibility to THOSE who are already here.
I approach these movies very carefully from an emotional viewpoint and I never read the comments first. These are some of the most powerful films I've ever seen and the lack of length is what delivers the punch. When I was a kid I read my way through the local library and some of the most fabulous stories I read at that time were book after book of collections of "Short Stories". These films are those short stories in visual form and they are amazing. Thanks.
Yea they do pack a punch all right! Since I found this channel, I binge on these oftentimes. I've never been through so many emotions in a night. Amazing selection of short films.
As strange as it sounds she may very well have thought she was doing what was best for you, mental illness can make people think all sorts of things that aren’t true. Depression is a lifelong battle that many are conquered by. I’m sorry you had to grow up with that pain.
Brilliantly written and filmed! The power of a well written script. Surely will impact and affect those viewers who may have gone through this, or even know somebody who went through this.
It’s a deeply distressing story, on many levels, but its execution was pretty much perfect. Excellent acting and direction. So much was said, but with few words. An exceptional movie.
If you watch Grace and Frankie, you know Ethan Embry plays Coyote Bergstein - Frankie and Sol Bergstein's adopted son. This almost feels like an episode of Coyote finding and confronting his birth mother.....
I called it pretty much immediately. This film was just great. The acting was superb, the cinematography was excellent, storyline and casting: both well done. The ending left me feeling so sympathetic toward the son. The realization that his aggression toward his mother could be something he inherited from such a wicked man; such a crisis of identity for him. One criticism is that they could have had him ask about his father directly, because he was talking about the entire family tree, but she blurted out the information about his father. Now, maybe his statement, "I'm not leaving 'til I get what I'm looking for!" was to demonstrate that he really DID want to know his father's identity, and that it wasn't just about his daughter's family tree project. That's definitely possible. Anyway, excellent film, good job to everyone involved. I was really entertained and moved by it, and made to think. Mission accomplished! 👏👏👏
It was really easy to see the plot of this one, but that's not really a bad thing: there are issues we all know happen at some level, but we don't really bother to think about. The performance was truly impecable, and that the mom wanted to help the son when she saw how distressed he was, despite her not being far off shows she was actually a good person, keeping the distance due the trauma.
Oh boy!! What a powerful movie, brilliantly acted. I'm so pleased despite the trauma that this brave women, chose life for her child and didn't have him pay for his father's sin by choosing to end the pregnancy. I'm pleased he has built a life and has a daughter whom he loves and wishes to love and provide for.
I know so many people who are adopted - even the ones who know their birth mother now - well from my personal experience they are still broken, feeling abandoned & unloved - my hearts breaks for all these broken people - children AND parents - though I recognise that there ARE loving families where *LOVE* is all that matters and is far stronger than 'blood'
When I was told I was adopted I immediately had two emotions. The first was gratitude for my adoptive parents' choosing me and the second was gut wrenching sadness for my birth mother. When I learned of the circumstances of my conception, this multiplied a hundred fold.
@@karearoto4294 oh Kare ❤《HUGS》- it sounds like you ended up in the right family - to feel such compassion for your mum - sending you love, support & strength hun xx ❤
Wait a minute, lots of people who are adopted don't feel abandoned or unloved -- one of my closest friends who was adopted would say that you're dead wrong.
@@billybobkumar9231 I said "I know so MANY PEOPLE" - not that *ALL* people , I'm really happy for your friend - and I'm sure they are many others like that - just because they exist does not make me "dead wrong"
Awesome watch!!!! Awesome story with great actors. The woman who played the mom really made you feel her emotions. In addition the little cinema photography tricks like separating them using the kitchen wall or them sitting at total opposite ends of the couch to show just how distant they truly are.... marvelous. All in all. Just a wonderful film.
I applauded the grace and resilience it would take to overcome the attack, let alone carry to term, and then gift a family with the resulting innocent child. The son should feel grateful and thankful for her choices because he and his daughter would not be here otherwise. In all cases, she made the choices she could live with, just barely, and knew she could not keep him.
As far as framing goes at first I was annoyed by the second scene. If she was so reluctant to meet him why let him so far into her home. It made no sense... after the scene with the counter dividing them, I realized that she didn't let Him into her home, she put Herself by the door. This then made the ending predictable, but no less satisfying. I will say though that he grew up to be a decent man. The fact that the Other manifested indicates partly inherited traits, but the fact that That adoption scenario never occured to him indicates that he is a fundamentally good (if somewhat naive) person.
Wow. Powerful. Painful. Great - well everything - script, acting, direction - that physical barrier between them in the kitchen was perfection - I don't know exactly when I knew - just... knew
@@kamraniqbal7808 have you watched the film? I don't want to provide spoilers - esp as this is just new - how about this - what explanation do you need?
And still, near the end, her motherly instinct wanted to comfort him anyways. I can imagine what a heart-wrenching internal conflict that would be for the mom in this situation.
My birth mum just straight out lied, gave me a name, I tracked him down, he flew to meet me, we did a dna test. Not my father. She still won't say. I did an ancestry dna test. Half African, but I look white. I don't even know how to talk to her about it. Whyd ya give me up ma, afraid I was gonna be black? I wish I'd never bothered. The fantasy was better than being rejected and lied to. Be careful what u wish for. I wanted love, got pain.
so sorry about your pain. maybe she was afraid to be rejected and abandoned by her own family for who she'd had the baby with. That would have been potentially devastating for both of you especially if she was a teen. really not trying to make light of this situation but i know that there were plenty of adoptions for this reason here in South Africa back in the days. Often these girls knew that their father was so narrow-minded that their life (and the baby's) might be in danger, also and especially the life of the biological father too. There was a proportion of older generation white men who would have made it their life's mission to "hunt down the black man who made my daughter pregnant". It's an extreme case and maybe unlikely... just my thoughts on the matter.
@@rasheeda1303why? I don't think it makes the situation worse... the scenario is a possibility...it isn't always about loving or not loving the baby. sometimes it's about keeping people safe (or at least believing that's what you're doing)
Amazing short and I hope more people get to see it. Embry is a phenomenal actor and has been since I first saw him in "All I Want For Christmas" which I think even came out before he did "Dutch." He should be cast in more major films but I admit I'm a huge indie fan so love him in things like "Pizza." I'm adopted and my biological Dad was 27 whereas my biological Mom was 15. I'm extremely grateful for the choice she made to have me and although she didn't want to give me up, she knew he would be a terrible father (she was right). I love my family and feel so lucky to have been raised by such amazing parents. That being said, I'm still pro choice as all circumstances are different in what a woman experiences. Great work on this film by all.
Excellent film, tragic on both sides. 1969: Dumped off on a sidewalk in front of The Florence Crittenden Home for Unwed Mothers. Forced to lie, swept under the rug with no discussion. After all, what would the neighbors think? 52 years ago, still broken 💔
@@kiela17 No, I suppose it couldn’t. I just hope you know that you are worthy and you are enough. Even though your past may cause you to feel differently. You do not have to be your past. You are a survivor. Your post touched my heart. I wish you all the best and I will pray for the healing of your heart.
He is the guy from Grace and Frankie. He is Frankie's son on the show. I LOVE him. HE is a GREAT actor and WOW, did he ever do a fantastic job on this one. I watched it and then watched it again immediately, lol One of my FAVES for sure. SPECTACULAR JOB from beginning to end.
Much enjoyed. Fan-tas-tic acting, actors! I never looked for my birth mother because I felt I would be implicitly evaluating my adoptive mother as "close, but no cigar." Very much enjoyed this short film.
It’s crazy how he played Coyote in Grace and Since they were adopted he wanted to find his birth mom. He was perfect for this role because he did so well in the show already when he met his birth mom for the first time.
I've had 2 wives who were adopted. They both found their birth parents. The first had a relationship for a few years but the birth mother was never into it and it ended. My second wife's birth mother refused to meet her in 2 attempts of contact over 20 years. Both birth fathers wanted a relationship with their daughters. And both set of birth parents wound up getting married after giving their daughters up. My second wife has somewhat of a relationship with her full sister and she also has a full brother, but he will not see her. Strange world.
@@SuperChristine000 My birth mother got pregnant at 13 by her 15 year old boyfriend. Her very religious parents forced her to go through a traumatic and very unwanted pregnancy, after her court petition to waive the requirement for parental permission for an abortion was denied. Her birth with me was traumatic, and she required reconstructive surgery. I was adopted by her neighbors, my adoptive parents. fourteen years later at nearly 30 my birth parents married. They went on to have three more children. When I reached out to my birth mother and father, they declined contact, by provided contact info for extended family and medical records.
@@SuperChristine000 My younger biological siblings know I exist. I actually see them quite often at my paternal biological grandparents house. :). My youngest biological sister is the same age as my oldest daughter.
@@SuperChristine000 watch teen moms... there is a couple like that. The birthmom is still so traumatized by the adoption she needed psychiatric intervention several times. The adoptee family have now cut down on contact between them (it's a partly open adoption) because each meeting triggers such severe reactions (which the child is then also partly exposed to). it's complicated.
@@therealJamieJoyShe was incredibly rude to him, what do you mean? Did you watch the same video I did? He was basically treated like a monster. He is not his father, he is innocent. Both people in the video are victims. Her for obvious reasons, and him for struggling with this missing piece of his life, his family, his identity, for his whole life. Only to now walk away feeling worse. His biological father is scum and deserves nothing good to happen to him. His mom didn't deserve the bad stuff that happened to her. Not the traumatic event, not anything that followed because of it. He doesn't either.
@@Eramidas What happened was a reaction to trauma after a life of having PTSD. Retraumatization is what happens when a recovering PTSD sufferer is exposed to people, incidents, or environments that cause them to relive their previous trauma, almost as if it were all occurring again. She was reacting to the situation. No, he did not cause the situation. However he was told not to go there, knew she did not want to see him, she knew she couldn't or didn't want to deal with that trauma.
A conversation I’m dreading I know it’s coming soon and I don’t know what I’m going to say ....I can understand those people that don’t want to be reached out to .... it’s the fear and guilt
Oh man!!! I don't have any words . This is something else . Just wondering that person who is actually in that situation. You know what, I even can't. Coz it's above my pay grade.
If you’re going to track your birth parents, please get their permission via adoption agency and set an appointment with them if they agree to meet you. Do not show up at their house unannounced! It’s already awkward as is! 🤷🏻♀️
I found my (deceased) father's birth mother's family via Ancestry DNA & connected. Felt so good to get some answers. Also have info about birth father but no connections. People actually "hooked up" in the 1930s but lacking birth control.....
This is something I dream of doing. Yes I know it didn't turn out the way he wanted. I don't know who my father is at all and i've only seen my mom once in a photo. I just wanna talk to them and at least meet them once in my life
Kenzie hun - I'm so sorry - I have known so many people who are adopted from my former partner (who drank himself to death, aged 45) who only knew his original name - to one of my best friends - who met her birth parents - esp her mum who was part of her life but she still felt hurt and abandoned - to a whole heap of people in between - you have my support and compassion ❤
@@juliaconnell thank you so much I really appreciate that 🥺❤️ I’m torn it’s like I want to know because the suspense is killing me but I don’t want to get hurt myself.
@@Sea-lo5ns oh sweetie ❤ 《HUGS》 - obviously this is not part of my path through life - as I said I know a LOT of people who have been adopted - I'm the last person to give you advice - please do what is right for you - Of those people I know who have contacted their birth mother, or parents - they got answers and closure - even if it is painful maybe it's best to 'rip the bandaid off' - but easy for me to say that without knowing you or your circumstances From what I've learnt - adopted children often feel abandoned - however their birth mum is simply doing this out of *love* - thinking her baby will be better off, regardless of the reason for the pregnancy You life, your decision hun, just know whatever you decide is the right decision for you - sending you much love, strength & support ❤
I traced my birth mother through the adoption agency. I came from an extra-marital affair. My birth mother was 37 when she had me. She put me up for fostering and didn't sign the adoption papers until I was 7 years old.
@@MercedeX7 the woman was a r*pe victim. She put her son up for adoption after he was born. basically him coming back into her life gave her memories of that event and unexplainable emotions. When he figured out what happened, he new how much it upset her so he left in a panic. It’s really tragic and sad.
There are those who are in very healthy relationships and work hard to maintain those relationships. ...and there are those who aren't. Women: Sisters, daughters, girlfriends, wives are meant to be emotionally and mentally supported by their brothers, [male] friends, boyfriends, husbands. It's "these men" (in this heart breaking story), who ruin the trust of women. You're a boy by birth You're a man by age You're a gentleman by choice. On behalf of all the men out there who choose to cherish, admire, nurture, appreciate and respect women, I apologize to the women out there who have been hurt, demeaned and broken. Not all men are like that.
I was annoyed and distracted and irritated by the kitchen dividing wall in the middle of the screen for a few minutes before it dawned on me...🤦🏾♀️🙆🏾♀️ Well done.👏
Are there no happy films? As much as I appreciate this excellent channel, showing us excellent short films, now and then I would prefer something "nice".
You see the glass at 2:59 that's curved on the sides. When he drinks in the next shot, the glass is perfectly straight. At 3:48, the glass is not the one he drank out of, it's the curved glass.
Some things are better left alone. Is it better to know or not know. The brutality of the truth from a horrendous event can either be lived with and dealth with or hidden and pushed into the recesses of the mind and will destroy your soul
This made me upset like why is she feeling mad at him when she gave his ass up here don’t leave her she gave him up Abe then gone have the nerve to have a dam attitude about him showing up he need to know why!! lady get real what did u think was gone happen
It was a beautiful film. I'm so sorry she didn't receive the healing she so desperately needs, and I'm so sorry he had to leave that way. But still, that story is out there, over and over. And it was a beautiful film.
The guys has no reason to apologize, he didn't do anything wrong, it's her who should apologize for treating him less than a person. He waited 40 years without asking any questions, I believe it's OK to keep secrets but if there is one thing that u have the right to learn is about yourself, that's where it crosses the line.