1. Never pursued my dreams and aspirations 2. Worked too much and didn't make enough time for family 3. Should have made more time for friends 4. Should have said "I love you" more 5. Should have spoken my mind more instead of holding back and resenting 6. Should have been the bigger person and resolved my conflicts 7. Wish I had children 8. Should have saved more money for retirement 9. Not having the courage to live truthfully 10. Happiness is a choice - wish I knew that a lot sooner
#7 would have changed you profoundly. Parenthood is what causes us to move beyond the self. Parenthood causes suffering and wisdom that changes perception. Most people who don't procreate remain self absorbed.
leslie silk That is incredibly untrue. I can't have children, but I'm still the caregiver for both my aging parents and sick brother. I've also met some self-absorbed parents who ruin wonderful children through neglect and violence.
LOL. I love all the hate comments I'm getting. I'm reading them and I'm not offended. 1). This video was made 2 years ago and I've developed a lot since then. 2). My intention was to share my experience so people can relate/connect. 3). I'm constantly growing to be a better communicator and know I'm not perfect. I own that. Bonus: Your hate (and non-hate) comments helped make this video go viral, so thanks. :P Love you all. :) p.s. Thanks everyone who left me positive comments! :)
Infinite Mastery (Richard Kuo) Legitimate criticism is not "hate". You are fully Western, nothing Oriental, if you lived in Asia people would rightfully point out you are centred around yourself. Ego, in Freudian terms. No, you shouldn't make a video on the precious experience of people about to die and instead talk about yourself. You could fix it, remove the audio and make something truly useful (feel good about yourself because of the REAL help to others). But nah, it seems you are too concerned in getting immediate, superficial reward for the also superficial image of who you are. Who you are is that but mostly a part of something bigger.
aLERNO You are wrong. In my experience, the narcissist is the one who has a problem with people talking about themselves. He is talking to the audience as if we are his friends. It's his video, not yours. There is nothing wrong with what he has shared with us. But there is something wrong in you telling him how he should express himself. You missed the point of all of the advice because you were too busy thinking of your judgments instead of listening. Another regret for the deathbed!
Yep. If you do not have time for family, it means you do not love them enough, or they mess wtih your happiness in one way or another. Just because politicians talk about family, people should not think that wil always make them happy. It is different for everyone.
***** Of course. There is no particular way things should be so we should be flexible... so long as our well-being is better in the option we take. That is why I think people should encourage both the married and single people about their lives, not seeing one as more important or more"romantic". The wise rejoice insomeone' divorce in the sameway as tey rejoice in someone's marriage, because both decisions are for the well-being of the person. I for one have nothing in common with my narcissistic siblings anymore, so why should I force myself to lie that "I love you" to them just because Mr President or the senator sames "family". I am not a politician so I should be free to be myself.
Lol. :D I love how much support you got on this comment. Made this video 2 years ago, so my style has changed; however, my intention to talk about myself was for people to relate their personal experiences with it. Anyway, good feedback for me. :)
some look at it as a negative that he reffered to himself but not all of us think that way and some will focus or notice it because of the comment. after mentioning a regret, every good speaker will expound a little to help the hearer memorize and understand the point. (a little story about others or self is necessary to accomplish that) if the problem is that the video is too long then that should be the focus but what was done is fine. things are not perfect and can always be adjusted but everyone will never be happy, because we're in a rush, didn't eat and exercise right or get enough sleep etc and are slightly irritated sometimes at trivial stuff (because we are not living a fulfilled life) and are probably living out most of these regrets
I am only 48 years but I am certain that the best decision I have ever mage in my life is to stay away from my narcissistic siblingw who discriminate and are extremely selfish and arrogant, and also stay away from certain aunts who have loads of envy and hatred. In that way I can happily pursue my career (maths), my hobby yoga, and my new hobby/singng/guitar. I will never regret this.
I've made the decision to keep my toxic mother away from me, my family and our friends. I have accepted that she is incapable of change and will remain a bitter, narcissistic, rude, snobbish bigot and, as she has NEVER been to a funeral or visited a dying friend (deliberately avoided them by going on luxury holidays in some cases) then she can die alone. I'd love her to discover empathy and compassion and courage but there's nothing else I can do for her.
My mom worked in a nursing home for thirty years and heard many of the regrets you have here. A big influence on the way I live my life and I am glad you put this up.
Hey Infinite Masters! Join our private Facebook community and ask me personal questions here. This is where your peers and I hang out. facebook.com/groups/infinitemastery
Bill Brown Maybe you spoiled them too much and just expected you would pay for everything. That is a problem with the younger generation. They expect everything for not much effort. If you're not together with their mother anymore maybe thats why they dont keep in touch with you now.
Hi Richard I am doing all of the stuff in the list except for the " having kids ' part. I have replaced cats with that . I published a joke -book and I would love to send you a copy before dying. I would regret if I don't do that !
My thoughts on the children thing is that the wrong reason to have a child. A person should have a child for the child's life not for theirs. Obviously you need to want to have a child but it shouldn't be for a selfish reason. I've noticed too many people say things like when I have a child as if they'll have one no matter what their circumstance in life will be. Too many kids without parents or just living horrible loves already.
:) All it's RELATIVE, like Einstein theory. Many children had, have and certainly will have a successful happy life just because they didn't grew up without parents and all of the preconceptions with which they are brainwashing the children. When you are discovering the life by yourself, without someone telling to you what's wrong or right, without discouraging your innate aspirations and ideals, you are absolutely accomplishing yourself.
Dee Cee It's much more complex than that, there are many things a kid brings in a life of a family, among all yes, their care for their parents. it's funny to say "oh I got a kid so it can take care of me when I get old"
Loved this video! My thoughts on having children... Being a female, I think often times we are taught that what we are supposed to do at some point in our lives is raise children. Now personally, I hope to have children someday. But unlike a lot of people who probably just have children because they are taught its what they are supposed to do once they get to a certain stage in their life, I feel like its not something that everyone is equipped to handle. While I think that it is totally acceptable to lack the desire to have children and that people shouldn't be judged for it, I also feel like having the opportunity to raise a child can ultimately make the world a much better place. Raising a child can not only add purpose and meaning to your life as a parent, but it is also an opportunity to share your life experience and wisdom as well as leave a lasting impact on the world. Yes your child is their own individual with their own set of strengths and weaknesses, but having the ability to guide them and help them be the best person they can be creates such an overwhelming potential for them to do amazing things in their life and most importantly, not make the same mistakes as you did. I think one of the greatest ways you can live your life is to work hard to be the best you can be, and then work hard to share what you've learned with other people. Not only by having children do you get to experience the fulfillment of selflessness by loving and caring for another child, but you get to hope that your child can learn from your mistakes and that the lessons you learned in your life can be passed down through generations in your family, which can ultimately, positively affect mankind. Of course, there are so many ways to share your experiences and leave a lasting impact on the world without having children, and of course not everyone desires to take on the responsibility of bringing another life into the world, which I think is totally acceptable. I think its all about your own path and preferences that you should use to determine whether or not having children is right for you. I think there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to deciding whether or not to have children. Either way, you can still live a meaningful and purposeful life.
Ashley Dyer loved your comment! I am the parent of a beautiful 7 yo daughter and honestly, it's brought me out of myself so much. She comes first! But you're totally right, not everyone is equipped to be a parent.
I suggest to future viewers to turn your sound off and read the comment made by the actual person. , the excessive talking of the narrator is distracting .
Monica Sanson Johns I agree 100 percent. More time should have been reading the dying person comments. Too much about about himself which he should have done that introspection on his personal time; not on this vid. I also disagree with having children because there is no guarantee they will or want to take care of you when you age. As one elderly person said to me "It's heartbreaking when your child(ren) doesn't want to take care of you in your old age."
This video is his, not yours. And if your children don't want to take care of you, then it is likely that you did not take care of them. You can say you did all you want - you can claim you did right; but it takes humility to realize that you did wrong and own up to it. Having kids is a good thing if you raise them with good hearts instead of good money. Many take the easy way out and clock into the job, saying to themselves, "I do this for my family." Lies. They do it for themselves. But if you spend the time to catch your child's deceit and correct it, then you earn a child with wisdom and love who will not forget you.
lmao, this is the stupidest comment ever, you come to watch a video where you're meant to listen/watch and you're complain about the narrator's explanation and encourage reading the comment? I got a easy solution for you, how about you just go google "Top 10 Regrets in Life By Those About to Die" and you'll get yourself plenty of relevant articles without having to listen to this video?
Thanks for sharing this Richard! I've struggled with a. few of these my whole life (especially #5), but a truly great friend (who works for Sony oddly enough!) had been a rock for me, having gone through these struggles himself. I'm almost 51 now but all of these are hugely valuable and it's so true that IT IS NEVER TOO LATE. I hope your new life is going great, it's a real gift to do what you love.
I got a full time job 2 months before my grandfather died, he was in and out of the hospital and I didn't visit as much as I should have. After my shifts, it was late and I was tired. And then the day of the funeral, my piece of shit boss called me and said that I had more than enough time off (they covered 3 shifts) and I needed to come back to work. I quit on the spot. Definitely don't regret quitting, I just really regret that I spent so much time at this crappy job and not enough time with my grandpa :/ Family's #1 people. Unless your family is a bunch of assholes.
I have no regrets in my life because i've never done anything wrong...that's not to say i've never made mistakes or never given wrong answers to questions...been guilty or never hurt someone intentionally out of anger or frustration or revenge......or told lies, been selfish, swore/cursed or been in a fight, stole, vandalized or bullied. I have been a part of a lot of negative/bad moments in my past BUT...and here is the most important part......BUT...I never did them more than I HAD to before I learned my lesson (key word 'Had'). Making mistakes is the only way we learn and grow...once we learn from our mistakes or from other people's mistakes...our actions only become wrong once we enact them AFTER we have already learned they were wrong from previous experience (personally or second-hand). When I was growing up and learning the ways of the world...whenever I HAD to do something wrong or bad to learn my lesson...I always made sure to control the level of my wrong-doings and never let it go "too far", i've never been wrong just for the sake of being wrong....i've never been evil just for the thrill of being evil...i've never hurt someone just to make myself feel better. Everything i've ever done was the result of my personal surroundings and from the actions of everyone else around me...we cannot control what other people do...and we cannot control where we are on location at any given moment (nano-second)...the only thing we CAN control is our own actions and re-actions...we are forced to react to other people around us...in ways that we would prefer not to...but yet must do...when confronted with communication from another person beside us...the thing to remember is......there are many different ways of doing things...you have to be smart and analyse every moment carefully and react in just the right way...the trick is to WANT to be right and be accurate and on the side of good/happiness/Utopia...strive for perfection and peace...fix the errors of our broken world and find all the faults that need repair. lol i'm rambling on out of boredom...forgive me.
Why are you all missing the whole point of the video? You want to hear old persons' regrets while you are thinking and speaking in a regrettable way about the video creator. How interesting for you to miss the point so easily!
The only thing that someone could consider a regret is something that they were able to change at that time. Many people don't even know what regret is. When you make decisions based on only what you know at that time, there's no reason for regret because there was no way you had the current knowledge as we do now for decisions we made decades ago. Unfortunately, from example there are millions of single mothers out there who have no choice but to overwork and not spend adequate time with their children. There's no choice and they do what they have to do to prevent their children from becoming homeless. I commend all dedicated. mothers out there. your time and efforts will pay off.
You forgot to mention that one should never take their heath for granted. Instead of thinking,"Oh, I don't want to go to work today" try, "I happy that I am healthy enough to get out of bed on my own volition and that I am strong enough to go to work". Some days, I really have to focus on this as I have chronic health issues. I also try to focus on the fact that I am happy that I am fortunate enough to have a good job and that I can (mostly) pay my bills. My house isn't in foreclosure, my electric is still on and I have food in the fridge. I am still working on the happiness choice thing but I thinks it is mostly the perspective that one assigns to things.
The ignorance of those making negative comments astounds me,it shows the extreme youthful ignorance millennials have more than any previous American generation . If you were paying attention to the pictures showing elderly people in their beds he is telling you what " they regretted " and is applying it to his own life in retrospect,as we all should .
Ray Valle how about simply judging millennials by their behavior traits as a generation ,overly emotional, self centered ,irrational ,easily influenced by group think ,extreme aversion to physical labor ,I could go on but I've already listed enough negatives where no employer will hire millennials .
I completely agree with your comment about all the negativity towards the creator of the video. But if you pay more attention, you'll find it has nothing to do with Millennials, but that their parents who did not follow these pieces of advice that ended up raising those kinds that you cannot stand. That will be the regret of the Baby Boomers in their time... and it already is, but the Boomers are still not humble enough to accept their mistakes instead of blaming it on others, just like their children do.
To the people saying you talked about yourself a lot don't listen to them they don't see you were trying to do fillers and to give examples , thank you sharing and I'll definitely look into the Roth IRA and try to spend more time with family and will try to unify my family more because of this 12 minute video have a great year.
Like all of this, except the comments on number 9: If you live a truthful life you won't be cheating on your partner, you will already have been honest enough to end the relationship before jumping into the sack with someone else. Fessing up to it afterwards is a pretty selfish thing to do; you may relieve yourself of the burden of guilt (and call it being truthful) but all you're really doing is needlessly hurting the other person who you have already disrespected by cheating on them. Thanks for posting this btw :) I hope you don't let some of the ugly comments people post put you off posting! - there are some decent people who appreciate folks like you taking the time to create free entertainment for us x
Hey Richard. I just came across your channel, and watched a few of your videos. I'm going to subscribe to you because I really liked your videos and to be honest I liked you as a person as well. :) I wish to admit that I've been feeling a bit down recently, and this video came just in time to give me motivation and encouragement. Especially number 10. I realize that I can be happy with what I have, despite the difficulties that exist in my life. Thank you so much, Richard.
I don't plan on having any children of my own. I think there are plenty of opportunities to be an influence in a child's life whether it be as an aunt or nanny. People are popping kids out left and right so I'm sure someone close to me will ask for my help in some small way with their child's upbringing.
Augford P. Doggie The man was relating with the advice. He's not being narcissistic simply because he is expressing himself. In my experience, it is the narcissist who can't stand it that someone talks about their ideas or their life. He talks to the audience as if we are his friends. It would seem that you're the one missing the whole point of this video. On your deathbed, you'll regret calling a nice person a narcissist, if you ever grow up.
It is a reflection video and sharing personal experience doesn't make him a narcissist. On the contrary, it is a humble and open admission of one's fault and what one has learnt. Give him a break.
I spoke my mind and now I don't have a friend, the only one I have ever was open with. I would not suggest being honest with them, but be honest with yourself. I miss him . But I need to get over him.
don't have kids, they are just something to worrie about, you try to instill your values on to them but for the most part they just do whatever they want, and if they are a bad seed you get blamed for being a horrable parent. I do love the two I have...
I think the desire to have children is instilled by society. The expectation of finding greater happiness in having kids is hard to reach for a lot of people and that leads me to believe that it isn't innate. To me, being happy because you have kids is probably a placebo.
good vid bro,I got what u were trying to convey....thrs lots of ppl who live in they're parents basement and don't work or hustle so they don't understand out of the box thinking...fives years from now theyell still be broke and leaving negative comments for ppl whose trying to help and inform them...lol
saying you cheated on someone will only relieve your own guilt it will not make the other person feel better... keep it in and let them love you for how you present yourself, and NEVER STRAY AGAIN. I agreed with this list until #9. making yourself feel better at their expense.
point 1,2 contradict point 8, how can you pursue your dreams, if you have to save for retirement, you have to work hard, life is a puzzle, present moment is going, we are heading towards future, if we get busy preparing ourselves for future, we will loose the present moment.
my hub is talkimg about regrets for not saving time for his family he is askimg for forgivemess each timr i dont want to lose him no matter what. he is 64 still going tp work but his words touchimg my soul
......i've found, happiness is really gratitude........seriously........in the last twenty-five yrs........when life goes awry........(car breaks down, etc.......)........i think of the ethiopian refugees........living in a tent on the broiling sahara desert, holding a starving, crying child........i ask myself........."do i really have it that bad?".........suddenly, there's a lot to be thankful for.........decades passed........i have a made-up mind........it's really small to complain.........note: Jesus had a lot to do with my escape from the "it's all about me" club........just sayin'......... \o/
As for myself i should have plea barganed would have spent less time in the joint. Learned lots in there of the 6 years i was there . Did read and pray much and tried to make the best use of my time. Didnt punch a time clock or worry about cars houses or being fired . Wish i would have gone into the military to travel and learn a good trade. Its much harder to get a job as a felon. Will think about a way out of my current problems. Would like to get back to being a diamond cutter. Love working with gemstones more than anything else in the world.
congrats on the new family member bro this video really made me think alot went ahead and subscribed and keep up the good work(few seconds later i realized this videos is 2 years old)
Number 10 is the only one I really take issue with. This "Happiness is a choice" idea was heavily promoted by the conservative Templeton Foundation. It suits the establishment when ordinary people believe that it is not their circumstances that are at fault, but their own emotions. Emotions have a purpose. If you're unhappy, that's telling you something is wrong. Why else would we have emotions?
Work is for Machines, emotions do have a purpose, they are an organizing force for your body to do something or turn away from something. As far as I know, they usually have to be informed by thoughts, both conscious and unconcious. Those thoughts can be onesided, misinformed, or inflated in meaning, though. So if you think that something is unbearable, your emotions will be very negative. So yeah they tell you something is wrong. But it could be your thinking, not the thing you are thinking about. Maybe it is not so unbearable if viewed from a different angle or with more information or more time to see long term effects. This might exclude dental procedures, though. :)
Work is for Machines, oh and for this argument that "Happiness is a choice" suits the establishment - I don´t think so. It is much better to keep ordinary people at a mild level of discomfort and anxiety so they are easier to manipulate. Mind capacity drops significantly if you are governed by negative emotions. A happy person will be much more resilient against manipulation. Happiness is not to be confused with stupidity. Even though anger can be a great force for change, it is more suited for revolutions after which the revolutionaries have to set up their own system of manipulation, for they have never grown out of it, it is still in their system.
Right Said Ralf. You are right that emotions can be onesided, misinformed, etc. The problem comes when this is the go-to response of others or ourselves, as in, "It's not so bad," kind of thinking, which is what we're talking about here. "Happiness is a choice suits the establishment - 'I don't think so. It is much better to keep ordinary people at a mild level of discomfort...' " -- That doesn't rebut what I said. I agree that the purpose in keeping people unhappy while telling them it's their fault - and that they would be happy if only they chose to - is to keep them off balance and blaming themselves for their own emotions rather than rightly blaming exploitative employers. Look up the Templeton Foundation and John Templeton Jr for more on this. So far as I've read, they don't openly admit that they advocate manipulating workers in this way, but it's clear from their philosophy and background that that is exactly what they're intending. I didn't mention anger. Dissatisfaction was more what I was thinking. It's what has got me out of unpleasant situations without need for a revolution. Anger comes later, when needs are ignored or dismissed.
Yeah and this thinking can lead to inaction while accepting something that could and / or should be changed. I think that this kind of thinking is actually a cover-up of one´s fear that once you admit it´s bad, you would HAVE to do something about it. But then again, when emotions run too low, you run the risk of seeing everything through the negative lens and of missing out on opportunities, because you are so busy being against something or someone. It´s about: which emotional condition can give you the clearest sight and the most options for doing something that´s necessary / appropriate.
I'm in my mid 40's, and looking back on my life thus far, there's a shitload of things in my past i regret either doing or not doing. I often wish I could hit life's rewind button and get a do-over. The best I can do for the here and now is to learn from my regrets and mistakes and do my best to move on.
Happiness can be a choice, but it isn't something that is "decided upon" like a light switch. (I.e. I want to be happy, so lets flip this switch on). Instead, it can be a difficult choice, similar to choosing what career to follow or what to invest your time in. You have to weigh the pros and cons and consider exactly what it's going to take to keep yourself mostly happy in the long run. You have to make sacrifices and change your habits in order to stay happy... yes you do need to make sacrifices to be happy, for instance your pride and ego, or time and money. You also have to prepare yourself to be able to deal with situations that will naturally make you happy. Situation does affect happiness, but the good news is that you can learn to handle different situations and develop plans of action to respond to each situation. For instance, how to respond if people cut you off in traffic, mad dog you in the streets, completely ignore you at social events, make fun of you or demonize you. The responses could be completely internal, where your best to control your neural and physiological activities - or they might require you to interact externally, like standing up for yourself, forcing yourself to talk to someone, or looking away and try to signal public courtesy. But regardless of the situation or response, to be effective you must be aware and present in the moment, and have the grit to do what needs to be done, and have made the appropriate preparations to help ensure success of execution. Every disaster requires a contingency plan, and every plan requires a back up plan, sometimes more than one.
"Happiness is a choice" does not mean what you made it out to mean. It means that you can just give yourself a permission to be happy, and not that you make not fun stuff to be fun just by deciding that now they are fun for you. So don't delude yourself to think bad things are actually fun, but just give yourself a permission to be happy, even when you have not "deserved it", in a sense.
im over 50 and still dont want kids, although i love kids and they love me. im the oldest sibling of 4, and when my youngest sibling arrived earth - i was 14 yrs old, so i helped out a lot. and ive been babysitting other kids soooo much, so i feel i have already been a parent. i have never longed for having own kids, its to much work for me... .
thanks for your perspective. I'm always seeking wisdom from others. I'm 28 right now and still don't want kids. I'm OPEN to kids, but not going to force myself to want them. lol.
Don't regret not having kids. It's a choice, be happy with your decision cause their are so many people unhappy with kids for whatever reasons. It's sad and it shouldn't be, but it is what it is for some folks. Love the save more money for retirement. You wanna make sure you have enough, to travel, help your grandchildren with and live life to the fullest. I also think saying I love you more is important. We forget that family and friends are going through struggles we can not see and their are no guarantees for tomorrow. So speak up! Quit drinking earlier in life and taking better care of your health. So important to have a better quality of life in your later years. You wanna enjoy as much as you can for as long as you can. Great video and thanks for sharing!!!!
I think admitting to cheating on a partner may be a mistake. I haven't cheated, but were I the type to do so, I think that admitting it to my partner (the implication is that I've decided to cheat no more) could easily destroy a relationship that might have worked otherwise, in the end.
Having a child was the most fulfilling and most difficult thing I did in my life. It is what enabled me to grow the most. I feel sorry for those who think it's too much trouble to have this experience. Stuff doesn't matter, family does.
Hi, I really liked your video, though I am not that old, but I am happy to know that there is not a single thing for which I might be repenting on my deathbed. The most important is, I am truthful to myself and my dreams. This is the most dominating part of my life. so, feels great to know that pointer.
You need to add that no one ever went to their grave wishing they had worked more hours at the office. You take good memories to the grave not hours at work.
great video. i enjoyed it. i di not think you were arrogant with using yourself as an example. i felt that you sincerely wanted to communicate examples and it's always better to start with yourself.
Hi, Encouraging video. I actually read the original article and was blessed by it. On a side note and as a viewer, I recommend joining Patreon to get donations from viewers.
I rally liked your presentation. A little piece of constructive criticism. Is good to go through your speech and see if you can say things with a few less words so that you can feel a little less rushed as you're working through it and maybe learn how to pause at the right time. It felt as if you were running out of time and you had to get all of your thoughts out; but overall it was really good I really like the sentiment and I really like the idea.
I'm so sad for you and so happy for you to know you are awesome now and have kids they make you so so happy if you are a happy person they will love you .
Love is a great lecture but a lousy performance. Words are cheap. Action means a lot more. It is a piece of cake to say I Love You, but it is something else to actually show Love in action. The only way to be happy is to be your true self, not trying to be somebody else, or live a fake life based on what you have, not what you are.
Actions do speak louder than words, but words can still speak loudly, especially when spoken quietly in a loving way. Nevertheless, saying I love you is a piece of cake. But actions that actually demonstrate this love is the rest of the cake.
