If you come down into the comment section you'll notice references to a part of the video that isn't there anymore. In the original upload, there was an Exe game where I got pushed on Day 2 and lost, and in my frustration I violently mashed by keyboard and muttered the worst and most vile word that I think of at the time. There is no excuse or justification for me to ever say that word, and saying "heat of the moment" is never going to be valid either. I am ashamed and disappointed in myself, but more than that I am sorry to anyone that I hurt or disappointed. RU-vid videos are meant to provide an escape and/or enjoyment and I violated both of those with my actions. Moving forward, I need to be better and I am going to be. Anger management therapy is the obvious step 1 and long overdue. As far the RU-vid videos are concerned, I have one ToS2 video that is already scheduled for the 30th that I think I'm just going to let go live, then take a step away and really try evaluate where I am, how I got here and how to improve. Again, I am immensely sorry for what I've done and I promise that this will never happen again.
feel free to take a break if getting a video out per day is too annoying but don't feel you have to pack it in if you're having a good time with it. i'm not really in a position to forgive you for what was said though so do what you feel is right.
Personally I don’t believe the frustration excuse works anymore especially as an adult. At some point you gotta grow up and either control your frustrations better or maybe stop using slurs commonly enough that they come out in fits of rage. You don’t gotta leave, but what’s done is done.
Is it unexpected? Yes. Is it disappointing? Yes. Do I think you're a racist? No. Do I think it was ill-intended? No. I think the best course of action is to apologize like you already did, ask yourself why it's the choice of word to slip out when you're frustrated, fix it, and move on. You already promised you wouldn't do it again. Not saying people should forget about it, no it's okay and probably right to remember that it happened, but it doesn't mean we should get our pitchforks out and force you off of the internet forever. How else are we gonna grow as people if it's one fuck-up and everyone acts like the world has ended. Best course of action is to learn and move on. The earth still rotates. Edit: I'd like to add that a lot of people including myself enjoy your uploads. I do hope you'll keep uploading TOS as usual but if you're not in the right mindset don't force yourself. I'd still watch whenever you upload
I respect you as a content creator and as a person. Obviously, that word should never be used. However, it's not our job to judge you. I do hope that you learn from this because words can be hurtful.
feel like a video on scumreading won't help anyone who doesnt already get it, i know that makes me sound like an ass but its the way it is imo. also just move on, we know what you are and what youre not, brains do that sometimes. no joke very similar to pewdiepie bridge incident. sometimes you spit out shit simply because you know its exactly what youre not meant to say, not because you had any intention behind it
Alright so new comment since I was there when the word was said, first off, things happen in heated situations, we're all (hopefully) Human and mistakes will be made and while we shouldn't brush them off, it happens. While I don't want to speak for how you should feel/approach the future (forgive me if it sounds like it) with your Channel, with how you've approached it in other comments I think you've done all you reasonably can. From what I've gathered from my time online, don't feel forced to delete your Channel or anything like that because of a single mistake, you give people who want to see your downfall an inch, they'll grab a mile. Take some time if you have to, many of us (myself included) won't stop watching your content as I always enjoy your thoughts, reasonings and overall comedy you bring.
We love Shadow and wanna see more videos! Like my comment in support to help! Note: I wish you would tell people how dumb they are acting like you use to. I remember back in the day where you would rant at them about how dumb they were haha. Now-a-days you are SO MUCH more mature and walk away. But we as the audience like to see you fight back to
lmfao. dude shadow. wtf. in a way i’m glad i got to this video after you edited it, but in another way im really trying hard to conceptualize the way it happened because i would’ve never in a million years guessed what im thinking happened, happened. and i’ve been watching your videos a long time. i guess it goes to show you don’t really know anyone on the internet as well as you think you do, and no matter how much i once agreed with some of your opinions and ideologies, maybe i don’t really anymore.
in a similar boat, I've watched shadow for a while and whilst I am disappointed, I am far from surprised because he has always had that air about him. he even mentions in this very video that he fears appearing pretentious when talking about his scum-reading ability, and I think it's because he realises he's right. he is pretentious, he does think he's better than other people, and he justifies most plays he makes even when he's wrong because he's arrogant about it. but we're all a bit arrogant, and it makes for good content, so I assumed all this time he was just playing a character. what bothers me about this is that his apology falls very flat, and reveals this is actually just who he is, because the whole reason he's this upset and angry is because he pushes this onto himself, making videos at this pace and trying to forcefully get games where he steamrolls to upload every day when I think most viewers would be happy to just have any uploads at all.
@@buttsgalore8390Yeah, but I think part of it is definitely some mental health issues, as someone who has major depression I definitely fall into the spiral patterns of not doing something I want to do for months at a time and then going back and spending an unhealthy amount of time doing it. I don't think is upload schedule is ever going to be quite "normal" or consistent. That's just part of him. I also don't think that excuses his actions in any way but I'm glad he at least acknowledged his failings and apologized and we'll have to see where it goes from here.
@@buttsgalore8390 "what bothers me about this is that his apology falls very flat" What apology would you even think would be sufficient if this one isn't? Would you ever be satisfied or would you simply say "nope, not good enough" if he did whatever it was you said?
@@KCzz15 Good point. Making apologies isn't the easiest thing in the world, and truthfully it would be quite difficult to recover his position completely because I mean.. why would he not watch the video back at any point before uploading and go "oh, right, this probably shouldn't be in here." Ignoring that, though, I think he should just admit he's playing the game too much and he needs to dial his content back as it's causing (or contributing) to his negative mental state that resulted in the outburst. That would make me feel as though he's offering up a solution, as well as a cause for why it happened. And looking back at his post, it's not terribly far away from that, so I will definitely say I overreacted initially and I should give him more slack because he's no doubt experiencing more frustration over it than me. My bad.
@@K_ell.y Saying its just a word is really downplaying the potential meaning behind it. He also said it after dying Day 2 as an exe after fucking up, like bro just get another game.
W I saw the rage, but just thought it was gamer tilt and tuned out. Reading comments makes this far more surprising that I just didn't hear that. Coming back to this video after the most recent one. The "W" was just me commenting something random.
That Exe game was insane. I had that happen to me before (not that exact word, but another one). Maybe you left that in to prove a point? It makes sense if it meant to get people to understand how actually people are when playing games. What Shadow did was so mild compared to the shit I've seen. Way worse and way bigger people than Shadow have said these words during streams. He probably left this in to prove a point I think. When playing games, the worst comes out of us. *waits for people to comment and make videos trying to cancel Shadow*
@@dumbeidiote I thought about that until I read his description. I could be 100% wrong and he may have forgotten to edit it out, but even if he did. This isn't the worst thing I've seen.
Please do not come to my defense. It was unintentional. The description was referencing how I was mistaken about 1 being Neutral Apoc in the first game. I wasn't trying to "make a statement" at all I just didn't cut the recording.
Unpopular opinion, but I'm not that bothered by the exe game. It shows that Shadow is a human too, and sometimes humans make mistakes, or get angry and heated. Inb4 some holier than thou people try to cancel him for what he is not.
@@ShadowBeatzInc i ain't gonna call it anything else but toxic, boss game makes everyone tilted, but a meltdown like that ain't worth the emotional turmoil man, especially when it's getting you to do really stupid stuff believe most people knew what it was, and what it wasn't. hope it gets you to handle bullshit losses much better in the future man, can't let it happen again even behind the cutting room floor
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