Toxic or Not: Andy's Friends & Boyfriend in THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA 

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The most unrealistic thing about Andy's boyfriend is he had no idea what it was like to work for a Demon of a boss, even though he is a Sous-Chef in early 2000s NYC.

I think the reason that the phone scene annoyed me so much is that they are basically mocking the very job that allowed her to give them thousands of dollar's gifts. It's not just insensitive it's ungrateful and rude

Doug is the only one of Andy's friends who is consistently supportive. He is excited for her when she gets the job, recognises the possible benefits and happy for her when she gets to go to Paris. Very much a Doug apologist

I saw someone say on Twitter that the fakest thing about this movie is all the free time Nate has! He's a chef in NY! He more than anyone else should understand Andy's crazy schedule!

Here's the issue I have with the hot potato phone scene: when Andy storms off, instead of looking guilty (if surprised) at realizing they crossed a line, her friends share a look of "jeez, what's wrong with her?". It doesn't feel like _they_ feel like they did an oopsie - more like they were just joking around and Andy's overreacting.

Main argument I would put forth on the 'toxic' actions of her friends is, after taking the hot potato phone too far is that they do it knowing Andy is already stressed by the job, they don't apologise after pushing a joke too far, AND they don't actually thank Andy for the gifts she gives them. Maybe its just the brit in me, but Andy calling them a-holes in that moment was 100% valid a reaction.they don't apologise after pushing a joke too far.

The telephone scene is what changed things for me too. You don't mess with someone's livelihood.

Playing Hot Potato with Andie's mobile wasn't an intervention - it was ABSOLUTELY disrespectful. If I disagree with a friend's choices, I don't sabotage those choices; I try to discuss my concerns like an adult. If she still disagrees with me, it's her life. Then I'm the one who gets to decide if I still want to be friends. But I don't force her hand.

Andy, an award-winning student journalist at Northwestern, moved to NYC to become a professional journalist. She was ALWAYS ambitious, and her early working years were always going to be exactly what we see on screen. Exchange the fashion industry for the news and she might have gotten a less toxic boss, but her role would have been no less demanding. Perhaps Andy's friends didn't understand her from the beginning.

So I was in Andy's position twice in my life. First time as an office coordinator and second time as a PA to a General Manager. I was stressed, I always had to carry my phone with me, I had to cancel on my friends and family many times. And you know how my BF and my friends reacted to this? They showed support. My boyfriend prepared little snacks for me to enjoy during the work day, helped with running errands when I was too stressed, told me every day that I was amazing at my job and hobbies. He knew how stressed I was - and decided not to add to it, and that I have to come to the conclusion of this chapter in my life on my own without him nagging all the time. This is why I can't stand Nate. Because I've seen how it should be, and that I would have snapped if my boyfriend had this attitude.

I think the reason people feel like Nate is so toxic is because the film language of the movie kind of paints him as 100% in the right. Like, he is never shown to apologize for his behavior or any of his sniping. He comes across as if he was always right, and Andy just had to come around to it, and they get back together in the end after a bunch of self discovery and growth on Andy’s part, and seemingly none of that on Nate’s part. It feels unbalanced, and it rankles, especially as a woman, bc we are societally expected to always be the one that sacrifices and forgives, and to never been the burden on the relationship. Like if TDWP was gender swapped it would feel hella different.

I think a big reason that people want to point out any perceived toxicity from her friends or boyfriend is because in the realm of the movie, the lesson is entirely Andy’s to learn when, as y’all have pointed out, neither side is perfect . But while we see Andy come to some realizations at the end we don’t really get to see her boyfriend or friends behave differently by the end of it.

I'm not an expert on toxicity, but the phone scene is just hard to watch. Andy is clearly panicking, pleading with them to return it. If one of my friends was yelling "no no no" over and over again with that facial expression and tone of voice, I'd stop whatever I was doing to them immediately. But her friends never stop. Andy makes them stop by grabbing her phone. The problem isn't that they could have gotten her fired. It's that they pay no attention to her very obvious distress.

As a sociology student I am asking myself if we are so more unforgiving because it's a woman who thrives in work instead of a man. We are so used to see men living for their careers while their wifes usually see their husbands less than their work collegues. Yes, those relations still have their hardships, but we are way more forgiving if men are busy with work because it's for their career. But if a woman is doing it she is not hardworking, but neglecting. That's actually proven by divorces back in the days, where a man can seperate because the women is not fullfilling her "marital work".

The final interaction between Andy and Nate wasn't shown, but it's the one that really cements my dislike Nate. He and Andy bump into each other and she learns he's moved to another state for his job. He learns that she quit hers, for good this time. He then throws out that she should move and join him in Baltimore. After him not supporting her at her last job, I can't stand that he wants her to drop everything and follow him for his big, life-changing job, when he couldn't be there for her during hers. The double-standard upsets me so much.

I think that the root of Andie's problems with her boyfriend/friends is that they think they are "too good" for the fashion world, and don't respect as a industry at all (but they like the benefits, like we saw with the presents). That's why Andy struggles to accept who she's becoming and tries to hide it, and that's why everyone is always praying on the "old Andie".

‘Lying to them and herself because she doesn’t want to admit she likes her job now’ - my perspective is that she feels she *cant* be honest with her friends. Any time she tries, talking with excitement about her job, she gets sneers and jeers and hostility. She’s not “betraying their morals” by being excited by/enjoying being good at her new job. She’s being punished for going against the group culture of denigrating her workplace and job type. Rather than open their minds, they try to stomp her back into their little box. That’s what makes them toxic friends.

Toxic or not, on 500 Days Of Summer. This would be very interesting

Why the hell does everyone think Andi did something horrible to Emily? Emily treated her like subhuman crap the entire movie, Andi proves herself a more reliable employee and is selected to go to Paris instead, and then people act like it was a shitty thing to do to this woman who has showed her no empathy or kindness? Seems like people want Andi to be a doormat.

When describing playful banter among friends you mentioned consent as a major part of it, so I was surprised you didn't mention that in the hot potato phone scene, Andie was not consenting to that banter which inherently changed the dynamic of it.

I feel like this movie shows how a Toxic individual like Miranda can also negatively affect those around her and how it affects those individuals in their personal relationships.

Build your case. Okay, Nate is a chef. As someone who's worked the line almost as long as Jono has been a therapist, let me speak on that experience a little. You don't get birthdays. Or holidays. Or weekends or evenings. It's not uncommon to work 13-16 hour days, six days a week. Your schedule is different to almost everyone else around you. You miss anniversaries. You miss graduations. Valentines day? Don't even think to ask. Most days, you wake up with only enough time to grab coffee. As soon as you step in the door, you start *moving* and prepping food like a crazy person. You're running up and down stairs from the kitchen to the walk-in stressing about getting everything you'll need for the night assembled, portioned, seasoned, held at the right temperature. 4 hours pass and you would swear it's only been one. You still haven't really eaten anything. You've tasted a lot of things, then added more salt. Maybe you finished your prep in time to actually eat "family" dinner before service. Most likely you didn't. It's probably fried. The first time you stop moving is the calm right as you open. Standing in front of the grill in this hot, HOT kitchen, waiting for a noise that would wake you out of a dead sleep, because the ticket printer has a very particular sound. Then the madness really starts. You have to coordinate your stations dishes from five different 4 top tables that were just fired with every other stations chef and ensure that it comes up at the same time despite everything having a wildly different cook time from everything else. Which means getting barked at and responding to the only God present in this forsaken place, your expo. You work at a furious pace. There's going to be anywhere from 200-400 covers tonight, like there is every night, and there are only six of you. You slam water because everything you've tasted is salty or rich, and it is just so effing HOT. Anywhere from 90-110 degrees behind the line, always, and you're constantly moving like some kind of graceful tornado. Service winds down, and you realize you haven't gone to the bathroom in hours. You still have 10 minutes before you can go, though. Those last two tables just got fired, and you've got 3 steaks and a duck before you can even think of walking out of the kitchen. Then comes station breakdown and writing tomorrow's prep list. Lucky for you, the pastry chef couldn't serve all of the honey rolls tonight, and there's one up for grabs. Even after all that, you better hope that you didn't break the aioli, or burn the parsnips, or make a mess of the soufflé. Because your sous chef will ride you. HARD. Produce, produce, produce. Faster, but with perfection. "Step it up, or you won't have a job anymore!" "Get it together!" "In any other kitchen, you'd be thrown out for such a stupid mistake!" All of it thrown at you with more expletives than you care to tally. Your only response had better be "yes, chef". You go home famished and exhausted. You shower, maybe eat whatever is quickest and easiest, and probably pass out with still wet hair. You wake up really hungry, but only having time for coffee. You do this for probably around $14.00 an hour. No health insurance, and certainly no sick days. It can still be incredibly rewarding. But it's also a lot of long hours for not particularly good pay at the cost of your body and your social life. Standing on concrete for that long will wear down your knees and back, the dark circles are a recurring feature, and your waking hours are mostly consumed by the industry. A guy that works that job, in New York City of all places, should have some kind of grip on how hard and all consuming work can be. If he had the chance to work a Michelin starred restaurant for one year, a job that would guarantee almost any chef job he wanted in the future, he would absolutely take it, no matter what. Even knowing that if he screws that job, he has a very real chance of being blackballed in the industry (which wasn't a point you guys brought up, but is also very present in the film). Make Nate an accountant, an IT tech, ANYTHING but a chef. Because having him belong to one of the toughest industries for work-life balance while simultaneously having him complain about his girlfriend spending too much time at work is giving "good for me, but not for thee". It's not uncommon for women to be expected to be the ones who move for their partners career opportunities. To sideline their own careers to help further their partners. To dial back on their careers to help support their partner or the family. To an audience, particularly to the target audience of this film, it can seem as though Nate's work, being important to him, is treated with respect. While Andy's work being important to her is met with ridicule and passive aggressive behavior. Well, until the perks of Andy's job make an appearance anyway. Because it did not escape my notice that the "same Andy, better clothes" scene got cut off right before Nate decided "you still working there is actually okay with me, for now, as long as you're wearing THOSE better clothes". Andy makes some poor choices and excuses, but Nate?! He eventually starts to meet not just the job she works, but Andy as a person, with straight up condescension. He literally thinks less of and looks down on her for doing something in her industry that he would've jumped at, without question, in his own. That's what makes him a terrible, toxic boyfriend. The implicit hypocrisy coupled with the emotional constipation and all the communication skills a of 4 year old throwing a tantrum in the cereal aisle.

Well, the problem with this movie isn't that the friends and boyfriends are "toxic" or terrible people, they are ok people that take no accountability and it happens, the real problem is that the movie portrays Andy as the bad friend and the bad girlfriend as if everything was a 100% her fault, not taking into consideration the shitty things her friends do to her

I just rewatched The Devil Wears Prada last week and I don't know if I'm wrong or not but, besides hurting because Nate misses and loses Andy in a way, I also senses that he is kinda jealous of Andy, that Andy is thriving and growing

all i know is that i DEFINITELY WOULD NOT LIKE to have friends who are like that.

The friends became unredeemable to me when 1) she dropped ~$5-6K in swag on the table and there wasn't a SINGLE thank-you from anyone (just more snarky crap from Nate), then 2) they played keep-away with her phone like they were in second grade. And no, it wasn't a joke taken too far. It was a joke that never should have been made because you don't mess with someone's job. None of the friends can seem to accept that they aren't the first priority all the time. Besides, Nate burned that cheese sandwich.

I laughed so hard when the intro went "Alan's also there"

I think in the scene where they were playing "phone hot potato," the friends were still acting on old patterns and not realizing how legitimately stressed Andy was. They thought "we'll just do the thing we always do" and did it, but no one was checking in with how Andy wasn't playing along this time and was just getting more and more upset. It's a form of groupthink I've seen happen in friends groups, and it sucks. (It's not necessarily their FAULT, but it's a matter of inattention that can lead to real hurt.) If anything, I think if there had been an honest, meaningful conversation after that scene, that things might have gone differently for the friends group.

The thing I would question with this movie is how much Andy actually changed. She was just someone with a strong work ethic and that's who she always was. How can we say that she stabbed her colleague in the back by going to Paris when that colleague never had her back? Andy took the job to launch her career knowing a reference from Miranda would be powerful. She knew the job wasn't what she wanted to do long-term but needed to put her best foot forward to get that strong recommendation. Her friends were telling her to leave. If she left and didn't score that reference, that means she just wasted her time working there. If her friends were adults, they would understand why she was biting the bullet she was.

I think there's also something to be said about the environment that Andy's friends and boyfriend created; how can they expect her to be honest and proud about this newfound passion when they "used to make fun of the fashion girls, and now [she's] one of them". She's coming into this with a fear of judgement from the people who are meant to be supporting herm on top of all the stress and fear of failure from her job. (Also that line about the 'fashion girls' irks me for its sexism)

I think something our vloggers are forgetting is that if she botched the job with Miranda her career could be ruined and she could be blacklisted. No. She couldn’t leave. Without giving up her careeer for a birthday party. I understand that sounds like excuses, but no I respectfully disagree that she’s making excuses. Yes long term that might not work out, but for that year she’s working for a sociopath and sociopaths don’t care about parties

This is entirely off-topic, but I actually cried laughing when I noticed the Bella and Edward poster that says, "My magic sex will fix broken boy." 😂 Y'all are incredible.

She's making a sacrifice for a year that her friends pushed her to take because of the doors it would open for her, and then when it affected her ability to be there for them, for that year, they dumped on her. They are not being supportive.

I still don't get the Emily thing? Emily is literally UNABLE to go. She is in the hospital. Why is it such an issue that Andy steps in and goes instead? Miranda is going to need an assistant, so why is it an issue that Andy is going?

Boyfriend is toxic. If he’s a chef on the rise, then he knows (or should) what “paying your dues” looks like: you start at the bottom on prep, you put in your time, travel and stage for free in exchange for training in interesting kitchens, rise through line or specialty cook to sous, head, then executive chef if you’re good enough…Mentorship and reputation are everything in fine dining. He should 100% understand what Andie’s doing and why. (Okay, maybe not the kissing the Mentalist part, but in general.) He’s a big, self-centered baby.

Listened to the whole video, and I have to disagree. Asshole was the exact right word to use. Her friends were being assholes. In the telephone scene, they were completely ignoring her autonomy and distress. That is the kind of behavior that would make me lose trust in someone.

The thing that bothers me so much about Andy's friend group is the hypocrisy. Especially with Nate. Andy happily supported Nate when he had a chef job that has notoriously long working hours. She respects his field. But as soon as Andy gets a job with long hours, suddenly Nate gets butthurt about it. He also refuses to respect the fashion field, and thinks its frivolous and girly. Not to mention, all Andy's friends will happily accept expensive gifts from her, but when Andy has to do her job, they take issue with it. Some of the things Andy does about her job are definitely her own choice. But her friends too quickly forget that she is working for someone who demands PERFECT OBEDIENCE from her workers, or they LOSE THEIR JOB. That feels like dubious consent to me, in terms of the choices Andy makes about her job.

I think that, in this case, there's a difference between Being Toxic and Exhibiting Toxic Behaviour.

Waaiiittt wait - so it’s fine for the friends to accept all the perks of Andy’s job in terms of expensive free stuff, whilst still continuing to mock and sneer at her job!?

No sorry, I would never grab someones phone while their boss was calling them. it's not an ooopsie, it's pure sabotage. It wouldn't even cross my mind to make fun of something like that. They were truly behaving like a****les. Just because they were not aware of their own behavior, doesn't mean she should baby them. Sorry, but she needs new friends.

The phone keep-away scene always angered me because I felt like the movie was trying to use it as an example of “SEE Andy IS starting to change for the worse.” For me the scene reminds me of so many times in my life when someone did something that they knew would make me angry and then when I naturally got angry they acted like “Woah what’s your problem. YOURE the one being unreasonable right now.” I disagree that her calling them assholes was just her taking out her frustration with her job on them. If she had just been able to pick up her phone and answer it no problem, yeah, she might’ve been a little stressed with the job, but I see no reason she would’ve called them assholes then.

I have to say, I do think its really telling that Nate is the one that initiates the game of hot potato with the phone. The fact the he is sulking while Andy is sharing the benefits of her job, talking about how she's learned Runway is more than just fashion and has editorials from journalists she admires, and then he takes the FIRST opportunity he has to act out, putting Andy's livelihood at stake, is kind of a dick move. I also wish you guys had included the reconciliation scene from the end of the film where they get back together. For me, that scene is the biggest red flag from Nate. Andy asks to meet up and genuinely apologizes while taking accountability for her actions. He arrives stand off-ish, and responds to her apology with snarky comments. I honestly dont know why she took him back. I get that they were both in the wrong for how they handled the relationship but like, girl, dont take back someone who treats you with sarcasm when you are ACTIVELY trying to apologize.

- Her friends happily accept these INSANELY EXPENSIVE and exclusive gifts, that bag esp is a status symbol on par with giving your working class friend a Ferrari, cuz your boss didn't need it. The hot potato scene is just in very poor taste considering they are jeopardizing Andy's employment (if she misses the call she could be fired), despite gleefully reaping the benefits seconds earlier. - Also it makes them come across as hypocritical to judge her for suddenly caring about fashion when they obviously do so too. The moment they happily accepted those gifts they lost the moral high ground in that argument. (I do think they were intentionally written to be unsympathetic, so that Andy feels progressively isolated by the end) Nate might not be as awful as some ppl say, but the fact that he's a CHEF, a job that is both artistic and also very demanding and stressful, you'd expect him to be more sympathetic to Andy's workload and change. Also, if my bf was a chef, I don't think making someone grilled cheese is as impressive a gesture, it just feels like the bare minimum; I'll admit that it's probably because that's just what Andy used to like, so Nate misses his low-maintenance girlfriend. They're not bad people, they're just kinda bad together I'd say.

My biggest problem with Andy and Nate's relationship is that Andy returns to him after all that. Yes, she decided to not follow Miranda's path, but she clearly changed after this year in Runway. I'd say she found some middle ground for herself, but Nate doesn't seem to be able to accept that people change (or give their attention to other things in life). So Andy basically goes back to the person who presses her to think that "old Andy was good".

I think a part of this is a lack of respect for the industry Andy is in. Neither Nate nor her friends try to meet her half way or learn about her job, they just shame her. And sorry, I would never risk someone I cared about being fired or chewed out by their boss in the name of a joke. Andy could've and should've gone way harder at them for that.

From the first time I watched this movie I picked up a lot of resentment vibes from Lily. She obviously cares at least a bit about fashion - she knows right away who designed the bag Andy gives her, that its new, and that its sold out everywhere. Then there's the line when she confronts Andy and says that the Andy she knows thinks that Club Monaco is couture. It kind of comes off like she was the cool, fashionable, artsy one in their friend group, and in a few months Andy has upstaged her by leaps and bounds, so she feels a subconscious need to tear Andy down, imply that her job isn't important, and resent the ways in which she has changed and grown.

I think the thing about this film is that it came out in 2006, 18 years ago. A whole generation has come of age since then. And, speaking as a young person, here's the additional context that we sit down with when we watch a film like this: cost of living expenses are at an all-time high, the job search is less accessible than ever, and every new technology (such as generative AI) seems to make even more people redundant. Andi's friends present Andi's choices as "Keep working for a terrible boss who abuses her" or "Quit and just go get a new job" as if that's so simple. But this has become woefully out of touch with the 2024 audience, which is more likely to interpret her options as "Keep working for a terrible boss who abuses her" or "Give up on this major career opportunity, become unemployed for who-knows-how-long, move back in with your parents if you can, and accept that you will never amount to anything under capitalism". Not to imply that Alan & Jono are out-of-touch with the youth, but this film just reads differently now because Miranda feels less like an unusually cruel and abusive boss, and more like _just another_ cruel and abusive boss. Most young people these days work multiple jobs they hate just to make rent, with no promise of future opportunity. And most of them would say that they'd trade places with Andi in a heartbeat if it meant they could afford to live in New York City, eventually learn to like their job (which actually has some really great networking benefits), and after a year slaving away for Miranda, walk away with the best professional reference in the industry. When we see how Andi's friends treat her over her work, we're far more inclined to agree with Andi's rhetoric of "I don't have a choice, this is my job" because that's the socio-economic situation that most under-25s experience day-to-day. And because we're all sort of in the same boat, we're a lot more used to our real friends just accepting that our jobs suck and making the most of whatever time we can see each other. The film is designed to show how a demanding job can put pressure on relationships, and it does that really well without making anyone the villain (besides Miranda). But to a generation that already experiences this problem and so many others, Andi's mediocre, can't-read-the-room friends seem obnoxious and inconsiderate, and Andi's mediocre, can't-communicate-healthily boyfriend seems abusive and toxic. In conclusion, The Devil Wears Prada shows us a terrible job by 2006 standards and a pretty mediocre friend group by anyone's standards. But by 2024 standards, Andi's job is actually looking pretty good (even if it isn't), and her friends are looking really bad (even if they aren't).

Doug never abandoned her even when the others did. He was always supportive about her goals and life choices. Sure he teased for a second or two with the phone, but it never felt low key malicious like it did with the other two. Doug doesn’t get enough credit in this film.

Andy: "I didn't have a choice." Nate / everyone: "You always have a choice." ..... So for many jobs (including Andy's), you make a choice to either accept the job or not. Once you accept the job, you do what you are told and what is expected of you. It is often not the case that you "always have a choice" in any meaningful sense unless you want your "choice" to be that you were fired or you're leaving the job. We even see this at the end of the movie, when Andy decides not to answer Miranda's call and she knows that choice means that she doesn't work for Miranda anymore. And that's fine - that's her choice to make, but the alternative reality Nate / Andy's friends inhabit where you can pick and choose what parts of your job are convenient for you and still keep your job ... that reality doesn't exist and it's maddening that they keep insisting that it does.

What doesn't sit right with Nate is the internalized mysogyny you can catch in his reactions. He judges girls that love fashion and makeup, the "girly-girl" kinda type. You can see him so proud of Andy when she is being diminishing about these things too. He wants her to be "not like the other girls" because he does not respect women that like this kind of stuff and they are not valid to him. And the moment Andy starts to enjoy this fashion world, she loses that "special girl" value to his eyes. That's the part that makes me ick about him

I disagree that calling her friends assholes was harsh in the phone moment. Calling someone out with upset language is sometimes necessary to show that you've been hurt, and she doesn't say that her friends are inherently assholes but that in that moment they behaved like assholes, and that means that she still cares for them but they hurt her. So while I agree that the phone moment on its own does not make her friends toxic it is a moment of toxicity that needed to be called out so it would not continue and Andy is in no way wrong for using "harsh" language to do so. At least in my opinion

“The Andy I’ve known for 16 years is crazy about Nate”… Dude… how come you’ve known her for 16 years, been her friend, and you don’t know when she really likes something, like the job she has now. How come she doesn’t get the little cues of Andy that, yes she’s changing, but she’s in a highly stressful job that demands more attention than they’re used to? That’s a lot of finger pointing for someone that’s known you “for 16 years”

The problem I have with the “friends” in particular is a scene where they are tossing Andy’s phone around to keep away from her when her boss is calling. This scene bothered me so much. They know she’s in a high pressure job with a mean boss. They are knowingly hurting her. Playful teasing is one thing but messing with someone’s job and money is another. They also didnt apologize for “doing a oops”

I think the disconnect here is the definition of toxicity, I don’t necessarily believe a person has to intentionally act with malice for it to be toxic. I believe someone can absolutely do awful things and be unaware of it but that doesn’t excuse them of the fact what they did was toxic

The boyfriend and friends honestly make me so angry in this movie. Andy is doing what she needs to do to get to where she wants to be. "I didn't have a choice" okay so the choice is do what is expected of her at work or risk losing her job, her reference, and quite possibly putting a black mark on her overall goals. So yes, if she wants to keep those things, she needs to dress the part. She needs to work late. She might miss things. She's got to mingle at parties with (hot or not) people in her field. I honestly don't see any of these personality changes that people accuse her of. She's giving gifts. She's bringing her boyfriend a cupcake to celebrate as soon as she gets home. She's at her friend's art show giving her love. They are not toxic but they ARE extremely unsupportive, and in that way they are really not being good friends. Andy is in an abusive relationship with her boss. And when someone you love is in an abusive relationship, it is so important to be there for them, be understanding. Listen to them, let them vent. Getting angry with the person being abused only alienates that person more and makes it harder. It's really sad, honestly.

6:44 Hard disagree. 8 dollars worth of Jarlsberg and he BURNED THAT SANDWICH TO A CINDER! They expect me to believe this man is both a chef and a good boyfriend? You don't serve that kind of kitchen misstep to people you like. 😂

I HAVE NEVER CLICKED ON A VIDEO FASTER

I disagree with the “she did have a choice, she could’ve left the party” just bc Miranda would’ve not only fired her, but also has the power to ruin her chances in journalism in general not just in fashion. It’s definitely valid for Andy to say that she couldn’t leave and didn’t have a choice when her dream and future is at stake

20:17 this scene has always rubbed me the wrong way, even when I first watched the movie as a 15 or 16yo girl. A friend of 16 years telling you ”the Andy I know is madly in love with Nate”?? Really?? Being in love with someone isn’t an identity.

“And then we can stop pretending like we have anything in common anymore.” If Andy admits to actually liking the job, she fears Nate will break up with her because he can’t see himself being with a Runway girl. This kind of emotional hostage situation is unhealthy to both of them. Not Nate nor her friends are allowing Andy to be who she’s slowly becoming, they’re not giving her space to reflect on what’s actually going on with her, prolonging the process and making it more painful for everybody. Everybody in this movie is at fault and that’s why it feels so realistic and human and great. Also, I do think Andy was hurt by Nate’s joke in the beginning of the movie about her wardrobe and I think it’s a crucial moment for her, because she realizes that even the love of her life doesn’t think she has any fashion sense whatsoever and I think that’s what drives her in the beginning of her year at Runway, which then turns into an obsession.

I disagree with the points about Andy missing Nate's birthday party. She didn't just miss it because she had to work, she was doing it to support a coworker who was sick and clearly unable to do the work on her own. That's the thing that's always bugged me about that whole scene.

I don’t think Andy’s friends were toxic but I will say after Nate breaks up with her and she quits working for Miranda I can’t imagine Andy hanging out with them anymore because her role in their friend group was so obviously Nate’s adoring girlfriend who is basically the girl version of him.

Another part that wasnt talked about that really irked me about nate in the movie is the scene where andy didnt quit and is working on the science project. Andy says "same andy better clothes" and nate poutily says he liked the old clothes. Andy then playfully is asking about different pieces shes wearing asking if he likes them. He continues to barely acknowledge or show interest in what is clearly a newfound large interest of hers and claims he doesnt like any of it. Then she shows him the lingerie shes wearing, and suddenly hes interested and all over it. He picks her up and is suddenly enthusiastic when its something that directly benefits his own interests. It just comes of as really sleazy and shitty, that he didnt care at all about her interest until it was something that could sexually fulfill and benefit him.

12:10 Nate’s unwillingness to atleast empathize with Andy’s new interest in her career and fashion is my biggest gripe with his character. People change and grow with time, so loving someone comes with loving the person they become (within reason ofc). he’s not a villain but definitely wasn’t the best support system for Andy during this time Great video guys!

„Friends always give each other crap haha lol totally normal“ is very often just a thinly veiled excuse to say mean things about your „friends“ and they can’t defend themselves cause „oh chill out, can’t you take a joke, we’re friends, that’s what friends do“ Like, I fail to see anything funny about this dynamic; I’ve seen it far too many times irl The made fun of Person often feels like they have to go along with it and laugh it off cause they’re being manipulated by their „friends“ and media to think this is normal behavior when it really isn’t, it’s still inconsiderate 🤷🏻‍♀️

I agree with Andy with the phone scene, they were assholes for trying to make her miss a work call

I feel like I'm the only one whose major beef with this movie is how Andy feels bad and lets everyone else make her feel bad about "taking away Paris" from Emily. She's surpassed the performance of the person who is technically above her in the workplace hierarchy, a person who was nothing but terrible to her from the moment she met her, and it could even be argued that she tried to sabotage her (the super vague instructions for where to leave The Book at Miranda's house, for instance). They definitely didn't have the same relationship as Miranda and Nigel, and Miranda screwing Nigel over to save her own ass isn't even in the same realm as Emily being bumped off of the Paris Team in favor of Andy. All Andy did was be damn good at her job, while Emily was too busy worrying about losing enough weight to fit all the free clothes she was going to get in Paris.

It was a stepping stone into a career that she’s trying to pursue. The other thing that people ignore is the fact that this is a story of the difference between men and women especially in the mid 2010’s and before. Men can pursue the career, have the family, and the white picket fence because they have a supportive partner in a heterosexual relationship. Women, straight or otherwise, are always forced to sacrifice something to get what they want.

Andi looses her way because she doesn't actually have any support. They all want Andi to stay the same, and when she starts to grow, they can't stand it. They don't want her to change and don't recognise what she's learning from this job - instead they mock her for it. Actually, the only one who appreciates what she's doing is the lawyer guy-friend who understands the opportunity but even he sides with Nate and the artist friend with the phone throwing scene. Nate doesn't want her to grow and his protests are all jealousy... yet if he was working for a true Michelin star restaurant, he would be doing the same - working all the hours and trying to achieve greatness underneath a driven Head Chef who would demand perfect. Andi discovered that she wanted more than cruising along in life and Runway pushed her to be better and to drive for more than the mediocre - that she has permission to want more, and to push for more, and Miranda is the lesson of how so not do it, so she can make better choices. Nate wants to cruise in life. Andi discovers a drive to want more and Nate drops her because he doesn't want his girl showing him up. I actually watched this just last week and realised how immature Nate was written - though the relationship breakdown is posed as Andis fault is actually wasn't , it was actually Nate haveing a tantrum about not being #1. Imagine what would have happened if they'd had a baby!! Nates tantrum would have been worse because he was no longer the centre of Andis world. Thanks for listening to my thesis on #GirlPower

A little thing I'd like to add: In their "breakup" scene, Nate says "...just own up to it (that you like your job). And then we can stop pretending like we have anything in common anymore." The last part is what makes it so toxic. He might be right with calling her out for not admitting that she has changed and I was on board with "owing up to it", but what he essentially says is "If you like your job / fashion, it's over because then we have nothing in common anymore." What is that kind of behaviour? He is not even trying to find a middle ground here, this is just outright offensive aside from him not being supportive even once.

To me, what bothered me most about his (and all the friends') lack of understanding is that when Andy says "I don't have a choice", they don't consider her work environment, where disobeying or not performing at her best or not being on call at odd hours can mean she's fired in the blink of an eye. We start out the movie with her clearly struggling to find work, and this is a last ditch effort, and now that she does have this experience I'm sure it would be easier to find another job, but I feel like they don't take into account how stressful it is for Andy to try and KEEP this job, that pays well and has benefits/gifts for her friends. It's a toxic work environment, but it's one that has a lot of pros in addition to the cons. Also, the comment about "you used to make fun of those girls" feels so mean spirited - of course she would gain a new perspective once she's in their shoes and working with them closely! I don't know why it's a surprise to her friend group that she starts sympathizing with her coworkers, who are in the trenches with her and experiencing the evil boss alongside her. Andy experiences the cutthroat competition of it, but also recognizes that she was being unnecessarily mean and judgemental of these girls before she knew the, and I wish she'd explained a bit of that, humanized them more to her friends, who are still stuck in that mindset.

I think something tiny that would've made a massive difference is apologizing to Andy and being more empathetic before criticizing her. "Hey, we got carried away with the phone, you were so considerate and brought us something and we acted like asses. We're really sorry." "Hey, it's none of my business but... is everything okay with Nate? Are you having issues? Maybe I misunderstood but it looked like that guy kissing your cheek barely missed your neck." (yeah the last one is coming off kinda passive-aggressive but I think the interpretation depends on the delivery and whether the actress says it like she's accusing Andy or him and being protective of her friend.)

The thing about her friends and boyfriend that bothers me so much is their sense of entitlement. Andy is in the middle of a big-kid career where events take place at odd hours and being on call is part of her job. Taking a call when it comes in is important. Being present at a major fashion event with once-in-a-lifetime career opportunities is important. It's more important than birthday parties or nights out with friends! Is her boss abusive and frivolous in some of her demands? Absolutely, and the way to communicate that concern is by communicating it with concern. Instead, they feel entitled to punish her (through taunts, insults, stonewalling, passive aggressive behavior) for doing her job well because they feel it takes away from what they want out of her. People have the right and responsibility to grow and change in their 20s (as in all times in life!), and if you're stunting that because you think your entitlement to them is more important than their growth . . . that's toxic. You guys were very generous in examining/explaining the POV of the friends, but I don't think the friends get those points unless they do that work themselves. The movie didn't portray a single conversation where the friend or boyfriend asked about what was going on or expressed concerns in a level-headed way. They jumped to conclusions and they punished her. If she had done what they'd wanted, she would have lost her job and possibly her dreams of her journalism career. All so she could go on being an accessory in their lives while they worked for what they wanted for themselves. Toxic, toxic, toxic.

As for Andy’s boyfriend’s behavior: I could understand his reaction to Andy’s behavior if she was going to work for Miranda indefinitely, but Andy repeatedly said she was only doing it for a year. He could have held out for a year. After that, things would have gone back to normal

What changed my opinion of Andy's friends and Nate were two pivotal scenes. The first was the scene when Andy gives her friends all these nifty free gifts provided BY HER JOB and they repay her by mocking her job and playing around with her phone. Really not cool, and deeply hypocritical if not outright cruel. Then there was the second scene--when Andy rushes from her work event with a cupcake. And Nate is sitting there, pouting like a whiny, immature brat. When I first saw that scene I was screaming inside, "What are you? A little boy who needs his mommy? Man up, cancel your b-day and celebrate with your very considerate GF on a day when you BOTH have the day off! Real adults can change the celebration of their b-day to be ANY day. It needn't be right on the actual b-day. Grow the f**k up!!!!"

the intro song for this new series... glorious

The reason this relationship grinds my gears is that it's echoing a behavioural pattern men often exhibit that IS toxic, and that's trying to break a female partner down when you see them as achieving more social status than you. And you could argue that Andi DOES become conventionally more successful and attractive than him, and so it comes off as him trying to bring her back down to his level so they're equals again. That's kind of how the ending comes off to me, as though she needs to compromise in order to be his equal without which she won't 'earn' his respect, and to me that reeks of a manipulativeness that falls into the realm of toxicity because it is, in the most basic sense, meant to hinder her progress for HIS benefit. I 100% agree that her friends are not toxic, for all the reasons you mentioned. They're entitled to articulate that they feel their values aren't aligned anymore.

The thing that gets me the most is that she essentially warned them that it would be a year from hell but that, once it was done, she could calm things down again. They all implied they were behind her in this, but then as soon as the hell part started, they all left her hanging and got upset with her instead of giving her support. And I don't blame her for the flirting bit: someone complimenting you and making you feel good about yourself for once would be a nice break from what she goes home to which is a guy just dragging her through the mud for the already insanely stressful job she's dealing with. I'm not ok with cheating, but a little flirt never hurt anyone and can be a real confidence boost. She isn't perfect, I get that, but the way her friends and boyfriend treated her was just not ok.

Pretty messed up for a group of friends who just received gifts because of her work, to potentially make her loose that same job now that they got their gifts... who cares, not them! It gives the good old 'you can be successful but never more than us' If it's not toxic, it's poisonous

I'm glad to see everyone in the comments is in agreement about the hot potato phone scene. I think the Cinema Therapy guys did that scene a disservice, and I especially question the validity of the therapist for shrugging it off in the way he did. It should have ranked WAYYYY higher on the toxicity scale, and Andy absolutely had every right to call them a-holes.

I have the same problem I have with the last video, and this is a problem with the movie which leads to the problems with the analysis for me-there’s so much vilification or blaming of Andy for making these “choices,” when it’s IN THE MOVIE that Miranda will ruin people’s careers, and that this job is temporary. Miranda is toxic, and Andy has to adapt to thrive in this toxic environment which is bad, but people act like she could just quit and just ignore the phone and just not go to Paris, but the movie makes it clear if she does ANY of these things, her future is ruined by Miranda because Miranda makes those threats. Miranda makes a good recommendation for Andy because she had worked so hard and proven herself meaning all her sacrifices throughout the movie DID help her succeed like she intended. The fact Nate doesn’t understand this and isn’t supportive from the scenes we see is why he gets heat from the comments. Doesn’t mean he’s toxic, we know who the toxic one is, it’s that he misses the bigger picture. Short term suffering and risk for long term reward. Of course I think your analyses are correct as well. It’s just a very complicated topic and because we’re in such a work-motivated society, there’s gonna be a lot of discussion and disagreements. I think our generation (millenials) were taught such a grind mindset where we have to work and suffer toxic environments for success but the suffering is higher for a lower reward unlike our parents who worked hard but got properly incentivized for their hard work-and only recently that mindset seems to be changing with gen z calling out toxic work environments and how we’re not getting what we deserve from our hard work Andy made mistakes but I see them as her being a stressed person in a toxic environment giving her literal trauma, and her friends and boyfriend not helping her, and being upset when she starts being successful, which is a big Red flag to me. True it coulda been solved by a convo of “we’re happy youre successful but don’t let them turn you into a bad person” but that convo does not exist so as it is I think Andy simply outgrew her friends in a way. Doesnt make them toxic, just like you said, mediocre, and it didnt help andys situation

Its been a while since I saw this movie in full, but I don't really remember anyone being entirely wrong or right. There were a bunch of people who made mistakes and lost sight of what's important, but there were a lot of attempts at accountability, making up, and trying to do the right thing now for a better future. The movie is great for showing that people are messy in a very believable way. People aren't perfect

I have worked for several Miranda’s. I also was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and because of that I struggled. I struggled doing my job and also struggled because I was being emotionally, mentally, and physically beat down by a Miranda. I used to come home sobbing and blame myself… because it had to be my fault. Something was wrong with me because I struggled. When you called Andy a badass for succeeding in that type of work environment I need you to understand how much that validated and healed that part of me. Because I felt like such a failure but I didn’t. I quit those jobs because I couldn’t take anymore. I didn’t fail and I’m a badass. ❤

Even though I’m a therapist, my beef is with the movie and how it concludes with Andy was wrong and her friends were right all along , so now she has to go back and apologise. Like they saw what she couldn’t until it was too late for her and every meaningful relationship she had was gone… BECAUSE OF HER. Honestly, Emily grows more than anyone in this movie and maintains her integrity throughout

Here's the thing. Like most people he isn't thinking about her and helping her realise where she stands. He is chastising her for not being who she was, telling her off for changing into someone else. Understandable. But not ok.

The point of the telephone scenne is that they accept gifts from her work, talk about how they love it but then, disrespect it, play with it. Is like going to a friends house, eating her mom' s food, sleeping there and enjoying all the things she would offer, but when your friend is at your house and her momma calls you start to make moan sounds.

I think my biggest issue with Nate in his reaction to her not being available all the time, is that he works in a kitchen! Surely he understands the harsh realities of competitive jobs in big cities. Surely he has been unavailable in his personal relationships when he's had an opportunity at work. Kitchens are notorious for being run by demanding chefs and that everyone working in the kitchen will have to work reeeeeally long hours! So him being so rude and passive aggressive when she missed ONE birthday party....?! I'd love to know all the commitments he had to miss because of work. He strikes me as someone that's "do as I say not as I do". I just don't think either of them are mature enough to have the conversations that need to be had.

I feel like what upset me most was that there was a very definite point where Andy would leave this job from the very beginning, which was only a year. They all knew, she'd have to put up with this stress and the immense workload for only a year and afterwards she'd get to choose her dream career. But they couldn't support her and be lenient for some of the balls she dropped during that time? So what if she missed a party or a birthday or whatever it is that she missed. She'll be there next year. And the year after. While she's thriving in a job she truly loves. If you can't support your friend and appreciate the effort they put in to make up for the pressure of their job for a year, you're kind of an a-hole. And also what others have already said: Nate is never shown to be wrong. He's so condescending and doesn't even try to understand what it is that Andy starts to enjoy about her work. For him it's all just silly vapid fashion nonsense that is not worth his time. And then she goes back to him in the end without him having to apologise or anything. Infuriating.

To me the “toxicity” comes across even more if you extrapolate their behaviour outside of the scenes. Nate especially in the bday scene basically waits for her to come home only to demonstratively go to bed, and this is just childish and unnecessary. He was frustrated and he wanted her to feel as bad as he did. Regarding the friends they at no point say “you can do this. It’s hard but it’s just a few more months.” Instead they are making it even harder for her and are only positive when they reap the benefits. I guess what I’m trying to say is we only get a few snippets of their interactions and maybe if that was all then it would be fine, but we can assume that that was their behaviour through the year (only a year might I add). Andy changed because she had to. Otherwise her job would have been even more miserable than it already was. And at a time when she is just trying to survive at work instead of picking her up her friends are just stepping down on her.

Some other nuances to the cell phone hot potato scene. On Nate: Before Andy walks in, Nate is sharing knowledge of cooking, i.e. his career with the table. And Andy for once has something cool to share about her stressful job, and suddenly, his career progress isn’t the “cool” focus anymore. That’s a particularly selfish part of him being too put out for the situation that got to me a lot. On her friends: they are all for Andy’s new job when she brings them cool expensive stuff for free. But once Andy starts going into the logistics of the magazine, and beyond the “fancy purses,” they *immediately* tune out along with Nate. And still accept the expensive gifts after blatantly disrespecting the job that got them those gifts in the first place. F tier friends mooching off of her while not supporting her dreams.

I'm calling malarkey on this. We all know that Miranda would make it impossible for Andy to get a job doing what she wants anywhere else if she messed up or quit. I think that her friends and boyfriend don't realise that she genuinely doesn't have a choice, and from their perspective it all just looks like excuses. I'm not saying that Andy doesn't make any mistakes, she absolutely does, but she really doesn't have as much choice as everyone keeps insisting that she does.

Como on guys in that Telephone scene it not about her transferring her frustrations with the job, it is about HER FRIENDS "JOKING" in a way that puts her work, HER LIVELIHOOD OH THE F'ing line, you do NOT play with somebody else's work phone, PERIOD.

Maybe Andy didn't "compromise her values" maybe her values just changed 🤷🏻‍♀️

yes, we forget he is absent too.... hes a line cook in NYC... those are minimum 10-12 hour shifts every day. It's likely he was stressed too and missed his mama to come home to when he was smelling like a grill or something. Or that he only has mornings off, and she had to be up early to get to the office, and that their schedules just didnt line logistically. Not to be TMI, but this is literally what happened to me and my partner of 3 years. He was a line cook, I'm an artist... we moved to new york together, then the stress of having two busy/absent partners got in the way of love

I always thought her friends weren’t really friends and her boyfriend was only a good guy when it was convenient for him. I can’t imagine my friends/family or even my coworkers behaving in such a way.

I just know that if Andy were my friend, I'd say to her... how are you? How can I help you, instead of mocking her...

Would be so interesting to see you guys react to Sam and Seff's reaction to The Devil Wears Prada, where they absolutely loathe Nate and hate her friends. I think where the hate for Nate and her friends essentially comes from, stems from two places. 1. How the film seems to villanise Andy for focusing her career. Very much with the postfeminism era idea that woman who focus their attention to benefit a career are painted as wicked and signing away their soul. Not something guys get hatred for. Especially with the ending of Nate revealing he got a promotion for his chef job, it does feel a tad like "oh so yooooooouuuuu can achieve higher at work, huh?!" And yeah, one of them could've said and understand "ok, this is for a year", while still being concerned. 2. The under the carpet misogyny. Most of the fans of this movie are of course going to be fans of fashion or apprentice the art. And the friends of course represent that idea of "fashion/ ideas of femininity = frivolous and nonsensical". Of course, it is important to note that the fashion industry does often cater to the upper class, and there is indeed problems with classism, racism, abelism, and misogyny also. But the friends do subtle show they look down at that job, with Nate saying "all you do is answer phones" and messing about trying to talk to Miranda, showing they don't see her job as important. Imagine if Andy came into Nate's kitchen and started throwing random ingredients into a pan, or if someone talked about football/ soccer as "oh so you just kick a ball around at work, right?" Imagine the outrage from that. Think it's where this touches fans of the films nerves, the looking down at something they love and stemming from a hate of something coded as feminine. But also, after hearing Jonathan and Alan explain their feelings in the video, definitely made me open my eyes to it a bit more, and yes, really TDWP is very much a movie with incredibly grey characters, and we understand their choices within the film. Really the true villain, is the demands of how people are expected to thrive within a capitalistic society.

What took me out of the movie is the knowledge that the bf is a chef and actually had time to have a birthday party and be upset that his gf's job was demanding. From my limited knowledge of the food/restaurant industry, being a chef is extremely demanding, so the amount of free time he has in the film is unrealistic

I loved this movie through high school. Still do. At that time, my friends and I were 100% on deck with Andy's friend and boyfriend - like c'mon girl, prioritize those relationships! But when I rewatched it as an adult, my opinions shifted. I was working in the film industry. My friends were working at Meta. Both are very difficult, demanding places. And at that point, all of us could not STAND Andy's friends or Nate LOL. Mostly because we had all had to deal with that juggle - and REALLY appreciated our friends who stuck with us through the change, including having less time together (sometimes). I get what the film is saying through their eyes, and they do make some good points... but I still see them as super unsupportive LOL.