My parents were really toxic and tbh it’s affects me now I have low self esteem and no confidence at all I couldn’t even communicate properly with anyone not even with my parents and they blame me but they still don’t understand
That's what makes us empath or maybe a codependent or ppl pleaser for our generation but girl stay alert get to know your attachment theory and pray for a good husband in future not for sociopath and self awareness is most amazing thing ✨ and trust Allah and keep Faith pain is temporary world is temporary don't expect peace in there lol but pray beshq
Literally I'm unable to stop my tears while listening to this. I'm struggling with the trauma i got from my parents and I'm also mother of 2 kids and i want to become a better mother for them.
I am now mentally abnormal just because of my mother she always ignores me. She always denied my importance. Maine bht baar unhen khush kerne ki bht koshish ki lekin wo mjhse kabhi khush nahin huin, unho ne hamesha mjh main buraiyan nikali hain. Ab main ek depressed insaan ban chuki hun. Unho ne mjhe kabhi nahi smjha, hamesha mjh per tanz kiya. Main ek maa k rishty ko bht miss kerti hun aur sochti hun kash meri maa bhi etni shafeeq hoti. Meri bhi apni maa se dosti hoti main bhi unse hassi mazak ker skti.....😢 Mere walid bht shafeeq aur bht mehrban hain, jo khobian Khuda ne ek maa main rkhi hain wo sari khobian mere walid main hain. Mere walid hamary her dukh sukh k sathi hain, koi bhi muskil hamary qareeb nahi aane dety.❤
Create an independent life of your own away from parents, you can reparent yourself again, its your mother conditioning that she doesn't have empathy but you can be different, stop treating your mother as a God , they aren't, build your own world and create healthy boundaries with your mother, find your own self worth and security
I'm just at my breaking point. I'm so done with everything. No matter whatever I do its never enough. They are always scolding me and taunting me for everything I do. I can't even ask for my favourite food now. Its pathetic. I'm just done.
u should lower your expectations with your parent As Allah has mentioned in Quran that he is the only helper and no one else not even parents U should avoid your parents t There curses have no value Infront of Allah bcz u don't deserve that and its for little mistakes Allah also tells to maintain a distance from your family cuz he knows some people r toxic by nature
After watching this Maine y faisla kia hai k jo relationship mere parents ne mere sath nhi banaya jo mai chahti thi wo ab as a responsible teenager mai khud develope karne ki koshish karu ❤️ Allah bless you all for putting such type of efforts for youth ❤️❤️❤️
That's why Mai yehi Pakka decision liya ha ky shaadi ky bad apny family st Koi contact ni Karna meri conz Ki family toxic thi usny chor diya ab inshahAllah mei zaroor krogi or second opinion ni ha 😢😢😢
Emotional blackmailing 😣 and my father used to talk about zina when I was 5 and always when ever he talk about abt Islam. And we come to hear abt his affairs every other day.
Yes parents can be toxic. Mental abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse and creating highly unhealthy environment at home is all toxic. Any parent telling their kids badly about the other partner or faults of other to gain sympathy from kids is toxic. But parents especially mothers do it. They talk negatively and badly about children’s father to children, which is highly toxic.
This light heart conversation hit me so hard. It gives me reality checks. My son is my carbon copy and I repeat all same mistakes which i feel victimize. I try to discipline him at very tender age without emotional connection. May Allah give you all so much ajar. Your words open my thoughts.
Tbh My mother is so toxic, because of her I am carrying mental and emotional trauma. I feel too much pain. I am an adult above 25 ..she pressurizes me to get married. None of my sibling was treated like this....I strongly wonder that she is not my real mother....💔 But still i take pledge that my kids will never experience this because I know they dont deserve this❤
My father died a year ago and I have done so wrong to him, he died unconscious and in bad brain condition so me maafi nhi maang sakki so it's so heartbreaking for me but wallahi whenever I cry for him in Salah or anywhere he comes in dreams and comforts me. He stills love me even after dying 😢
My dear its Allah who gives u comfort with appearance of him in your dreams ... and its ok dear we are humans ❤ Touba ka darwaza khulla hy and the comfort is answer that you are forgiven InshaAllah Allah bless u with peace and happiness
I love my parents even though they're pretty toxic, my sister too, makes me feel So hopeless at times, always criticizes me ... And I really don't wanna be like them, I wanna educate myself and be a better parent because I read in my books ke Bache Allah ki taraf se parents ke Liye imanat Hain and as a Muslim hummae imanat ma khayanat nhi krni chahiye.
What an eye-opening, thoughtful discussion it was. Ali Bhai and all, Jazak Allah. May Allah give you all the best rewards and hidayat to all of us to follow. Ameen
Apart from teenage,i being in my adult-hood suffers from all of the above; being discussed in the session yet i have a strong connection with Allah talah ,who has rewarded me with the independency and other bold initiatives.Yet it made me cry,scream a lot regarding what I had suffered from.As I always try to bear more than that,even accepting what I couldn't but that actually doesn't makes you valuable what I thought.
They touched almost every aspect in a very comprehensive way . I use to wonder about all this and still do in my 30s that was it right for parents to insult and abuse like that and finally when a grown up child in mid 20s speaks up even without using harsh words they are left guilty that they said something bad to their parent and Allah will not be pleased with them.Most of us grows up opposite to islamic teachings and parents are not ready admit the correct ones because they are holding on to their old ways not Islam in reality . My household trauma is never ending and would not heal . But I am educating myself for future generation and brining changes in me because I fell in love with the true and correct Islam. It's incredible hard because in the society people like us are considered outlaws and have hear the words that feels like a knife through the heart but hopefully Allah is watching over and will help. May Allah give all of us correct knowledge and help us to be steadfast on it .
Plz a session on how to select a life partner, in present time, there are lots of barriers exist in early or late marriage . There are lots of people who are willing to marrie but non wants to marrie them becoz of in so called criteria like good looks, qualification, job, etc , they don't fit.
I am 28 and my mother is still toxic. And i dont know how to deal with her. And by invading privacy i know what it means. As she tries to interfere in my married life. As I believe since im married my mother should be encouraging in spending my life happily instead she picks everything that my husband or in laws do. She constantly makes me feel stressed and depressed. And i try to avoid talking to her as it keeps me calm. But she complains that we dont pay attention towards her.
I can feel your pain dear. I feel so proud to read your comments keh aaj bhi esi oratyen hain ju apni mother ku apni married life m dakhal Nahi dene deti...jab keh 90% oraton ki mothers apni betion ki zindagion m bilawaja ki dakhal andazi karti hain or finally talaq dalwa laite hain...Ap bht acha karti hain keh apni mother ku apni married life s dor rakhte hain...respect her and love her...but don't let her ruin your married life.
Do what i have seen people do. Daughters put their husband and children first, the way Allah commanded them to do. Then leave the responsibility of parents to the son in their old age, the way Allah commanded sons to do. That will teach them a less, because these days sons do not look after parents either. Their old age will be a misery.
@@rimsha_liaqat worse happens than that, nikah have been broken by parents that arranged it, and worst still millions of women have been divorced after years of marriage because of their own mothers.
Brother Abdul Aleem all ur points totally touched my heart and very valuable points...and the dua u told us in last is really beautiful In sha Allah i will try to pray it as much as possible......jazakallahu khair
I’m posting for all who are young , this is a wonderful video . I’m almost 50 now I grew up with narcissistic parents and very much overpowered mother . I have faced insult at every step from them infront of others but I have always asked Allah for help I have always and will try to keep silent Infront of them . My father is no more and my mother still manipulative but now I recognize and just keep quiet for the sake of Allah who has always helped me . I am a successful educated professional woman today and I give the same empowered upbringing to my kids . Even my kids realize how my parents are and we’re always wrong but I respect them still just for the love of Allah and he has given me more than anyone like myself could have achieved . So please trust in Allah and stay obedient don’t give any flaw from your side leave rest on Allah .
Very good discussion on parenting! Humble request If one can wait till the first person finishes his talk and express his thoughts. I see you guys cutting each other in between.
You trust in His planning, better than your own. You trust that He will guide you towards what is best, again and again. What is doubt? What is pain? What is fear? Don’t worry, Allah is near.
In Bahrain they Allow the kids to learn and play games related to the chapter they learned.....we need to develop more techniques to help ourselves to help children love Quran
When parents become rigid then their relationship with children is spoiled and its create more issues...every child intellectual level is different. Sometimes parents impose their own wishes on children without knowing their capacity.
@52:00 empathy - wow. I literally got the answer of training in one word. My mom says the same thing to deal with people.. i guess i need to empathize with the kids
Successful parenting can only be achieved by knowing your religion, knowing that pakistan is ex hindu with a hindu culture, then making the children understand what islam says when they see western culture and hindu culture. Explain that this is our culture, we love it because we are ex hindu, however this is not what islam says. Explain the solutions that islam provides when an issue arrises in the west. Tell them the difference between cultures. Pataans are ex jews thats why despite living in pakistan they have a different ( and better, more connected with islam) culture and a different identity. Tell them about geography, have a map on the wall. Tell them about islamic history. Why shias exist. Tell them they cant marry qadiyanis and shias. Tell them why islam wants a man to have four wives. Tell them islam is not racist. Although marrying in a different culture changes ones life to the point a lot of people are not comfortable in it. Tell daughters they are allowed to demand their inheritance from their brothers in the event both parents die. The brother WILL have to arrange finances, take out a loan, or sell the house. Tell them the importance of education and good grades. People are so thick they dont know the basics, thats why they dont raise kids well. Striving to keep them in good schools is one of the best things you can do. Keep them away from riff raff. And keep them connected with nature. Being outside is good for mental health. Too many mothers are so lazy they dont even take them to the local park, Keep them in local rubbish schools. Then you have mothers who if they have money take them abroad on holiday, never mind the local park. You have mothers who wake up earlier than others and who drive miles to good schools. Dont discourage them from playing outside alone, and going out with their friends alone. Associate fresh home cooking with a good upbringing of children. Especially with sons, who knows what kind of wife he will end up with. He could end up with one that boils a packet of pasta every day.
Ma sha Allah , I am feeling so blessed that I have come across this conversation.literally every one has a beautiful approach. Ma sha Allah the ustada is very well. Qualified and her talk is worth listening.
Let the parents understand that their exists a problem between them and their children. Most of the parents doesn't acknowledge this and thus the tussle goes on...
Too much of everything is bad, result is zero, Related to the good deeds it’s with freedom of choice, so In my opnion and try to improve in me to balance and with memorizion it’s important to understand why we are doing.
Child abuse is a major problem in Pakistan but government doesn't do anything for children. It is not mandatory that every mother and father is like angel.
No bilkul Galt Soch hai apki first of all main apka sath agree toh Kar rahi Hun ke yh social problem hai Pakistan ki or main bhi is problem SE suffer Kar rahi Hun but iska har GIZ yh matlb Nahi ke hum apni government SE koi demand karain ap Kia chahti hain than per bhi Europe wala haal hojaya bacha Ka Jake apna parents KO jailon main dalwain or phir muqafat unka sath bhi ho isbat Ka socha mtlb yho hai ke family system barbad hona Hume khud ki islah Karni Chahiye apni family ki
*صبر، شکر، ذکر اور فکر چاروں بہت بڑا درجہ رکھتے ہیں۔ صبر سے مصائب و مشکلات ٹل جاتے ہیں ، شکر سے نعمتوں میں اضافہ ہوتا ھے، ذکر سے درجات بلند ہوتے ہیں، اور فکر سے انسان گناہوں سے رک جاتا ہے* 💞💞
My Father Gave me Bad dua manytimes ( In sha Allah tum saari zindagi ruswa hoge . ) Yeah i did so many mistakes but now i am suffering in my 23 yrs age
May God bless you. Parents ka kehnay se nahi huta. Talk to Allah cry infront of him discuss your problems with him. InshaAllah this life awaits you for alot of blessings ❤. Be proud of your little success or doings
Kahan ta ye discussion is tareeqe ka lookout mere time pe . Love u all for such an eye opener . Ye sab gutti ab mai apne ghair shaadi shuda bacchon ko pila rahi hoon , jazak Allah khair .
Jazakallahukhayr for this much needed content. Especially in our Indo-Pak society. I just hope and pray this reaches the hearts of those that need to hear it.
When Allah knows that you’re ready for the responsibility of commitment. He’ll reveal the right person under the right circumstances. So Wait patiently. Don’t waste your time searching and wishing. Grow and be ready, you’ll see Allah will give you a love story far better than you could ever dream of. The love story of you and your Jannah partner, Insha'Allah. May Allah SWT bless everyone with the right Jannah partner. Aameen
JZAKALLAH anti... M in sb bhaion ko bht sunti ho khana bnaty hoy ghar k kam krty hoy.... But Allah ny apki ki awaz m or way of talking m jo bat rakhi sedha dil m utrti gai h apki sari batain you are right hmari society m ye bht normal issue h. U are the best mery bachy ni h abi recently married but yes the issue you guys are talking is very important.... Appreciate your efforts... Love u from Dubai ❤
Thanks for sharing precious knowledge about parenting. It is requested to do a session on "rights of in-laws on daughter in law". As usually in our society men serve their parents through their wives. Kindly elaborate the rights and duties of either side.
Jazakallahu khairan kaseera.. U guys r doing a really great job.. got to learn alot frm the podcast May Allah help us learn & accept it according to his pleasure
A very comprehensive discussion indeed but I'd like to see a session for parents who are living in guilt of not being able to parent their children properly for the first 7-8 yrs of their life, what would b the steps and how to go about correcting the mistakes made
Merey husband hamesha gher k sarey kam kertey hain or merey barey betey ki bike ki service bhi khud kerwatey they or kehtey k sahab ji aap ki bike wash kerwadi.or mera beta khush hojata tha mera beta boht acha tha.Alhumdulilah.
I was 4,5 years old..I saw my father was beating every day to my elder brother bcz WO sham ko bahar SE khyal k maghrib k baad Ata tha...at that time he was about 9,10 years old. To Roz Ka ye tha, k jab WO Ata Abu usy bohat zyada maarty janwro ki tra....mjhy Yaad Hy abi b ..m 4,5 Saal ki the ..or mery Abba g mery Bry Bhai ko nahaty huwey washroom SE Nanga tha WO ...usy bahar nikal k SB k Samny pipe SE mara ...ham joined family me raha krty thy..to you can imagin 2 families Dekh rhi hyn k ek bachy ko Nanga Hy WO Naha Raha hy .usy gussy me washroom SE nikal k maara..I'm feeling so sad to say that .i don't want to say anything against my father bcz WO b insan hyn mery Abba Hyn..now my brother is in lockup bcz of serious incident due to his mental illness... I just want to say k plzz ab to itni videos hyn parenting py..shadi se pehly parenting k lectures ly Lyn..phir shadi kryn..ta k mazeed bachy in traumas or zulm se na guzryn
😢 bht rona aya hai mere pas ilfaaz nahi k mian kia kaho … koi apne bache k saath aissa ab kerta ho ga apki ammi nahi rokti thi .. muje bht dukh hua hai aj ye apka comment perh ker Allah se dua hai Allah ap k bhai ko sehat de
My father did the same with my brother. He would use the belt on him. Sometimes I would hide on the balcony and cry why it was happening. I was 13 yrs, he was 16/17 yrs. I think back on all the abuse my brother faced and cry that I never stood up to it, I couldn’t utter a word against my father’s oppression. He once beat my brother with a wooden plank with nails in it until my brother was bleeding all over his back. It was all because he was bunking college and fell into moderately ‘bad’ company. I don’t remember My mother ever stepping up to stop the abuse. She abused us, the daughters, individually. Me more than my younger sister. They still don’t stop ruining our mental peace and won’t stop controlling our lives. I find it very hard to pray for anything good for them
My father physically mentally emotionally abused my brother because of his narcissism. He would use the belt on him. Sometimes I would hide on the balcony and cry why it was happening. I was 13 yrs, he was 16/17 yrs old and going through rough teenage years. I think back on all the abuse my brother faced and cry that I never stood up to it, I couldn’t utter a word against my father’s oppression. He once beat my brother with a wooden plank with nails in it until my brother was bleeding all over his back. It was all because he was bunking college and fell into moderately ‘bad’ company. I don’t remember My mother ever stepping up to stop the abuse. She abused us, the daughters, individually. Me more than my younger sister. They still don’t stop ruining our mental peace and won’t stop controlling our lives. They forced me and my brother into marriages with villagers with 0 compatibly. They can’t stop bitching about us in any home or in front of any in-law or relative. I find it very hard to pray for anything good for them
Yeh podcast sun k toh Mje feel ho rha h ... I am blessed with amazing parents 😭😭 mery parents understanding Hein ... Privacy dety hn ... Trust dety Hein .... Bssss Mje aik hi complain Rahi h apny parents sy k unho ny mj s piar ka izhar krna chor dia .... Unko lgta h khilana pilana trust Dena privacy Dena piar h ab zroort ni h izhar ki ....... Lkn Mje lgta hai k hm bcho mn Jo thory flaws Hein r Jo mjh s life mn aik bht bari mistake hui h uski waja yhi h k mama baba ny mje piar krna physical piar bht pehly chor dia .... I am 19 r Mje yad b nhi h k last time kb Meri mama ny mje hug kia tha ...... Bss isky ilawa mery parents amazingly understanding parents hn r ma biyan hi ni kr skti k Mje Allah ny kitny perfect ghr mn peda kia ..... ❤❤❤❤ Meri bhuttt sari duain srf mama baba k lie hi hoti hn .... I love them Soo Soo much .... Bss hmari love type differ krti h ......
aunty is so protective that her kids will be listening to this, she opposed so many right things, and said bachay bhi tou aesa karte, bro, bachay sekhte ap se hi hein.
He is right.mera experience yeh hi hey k mey ney apney bachon ko azadi di or bataya k tum kersaktey ho .to us mey confidence aya or us sey questions ky to us mey adat pari questions kerney ki pehley wo merey question ka answer detey phir mey deti rahi.phir jub wo barey hogay to ab wo merey question ka ans detey hain
plz recite at least 5 times...اللھم صل علی محمد وعلی ال محمد کما صلیت علی ابراھیم وعلی ال ابراھیم انک حمید مجید اللھم بارک علی محمد وعلی ال محمد کما بارکت علی ابراھیم وعلی ال ابراھیم انک حمید مجید... jazak Allah
The things this podcast talks about doesn’t even touch the toxic things parents do. This is very normal things parents and kids do and they’re very small and easily forgivable but the real toxic thing I and many others have experienced in our lives by toxic parents is not even touched here or even mentioned.
I am 32 years old and I have very very very traumatic experiences and memories since I was 3 and my parents honestly are very toxic and I really don’t trust anyone. I was abused mentally emotionally mentally and most importantly SPIRITUALLY. I still live in a highly toxic environment which I still live with my toxic parents. My parents led me to a wrong path my parents divorced when I was 3 then my stepdad and mom married then the trouble didn’t stop there he molested me and didn’t stop until this year then emotionally abused me and gave everything to my older brother. Where I’m left stranded I called that favoritism. They do keep everything under the rug like Indian people do! My mom took me to spiritually based people and did work on me. Both my stepdad and mom BOTH tried to KILL ME? My mom family is highly judgmental. I have trusted them but not no more. I have done NOTHING WRONG TOO THEM THEY DO ALL OF THIS TOO ME AND OF COURSE I AM CONFUSED WITH THIS RELIGION AND ALLAH.
Masha allah .love the way aunty speaks..need more topics about parenting a teenager.its really tough time parenting a teenager.mera teenager beta kabhi ese gusa dila deta hai k khoon khaul jata hai pr such topics help me deal with this kind of situations and after sometimes he comes and hugs me and feels guilty.plz we need more and more such topics
Jazakallahu khair kaseeran to everyone present in the discussion. I had all the points in my mind, i did pondering (gaur fikar) over these issues by observing the conflicts n problems of people which are so very common, n by the help of this discussion got a high resolution clarity on everything talked about. I think the emergence of YC has a greater objective, goal in the coming future. I firmly believe that YC is the turning point in Islamic communities in the sub continent. May Allah bless all of you and us and grant all of us guidance, righteousness, amd steadfastness in our deen. ❤️❤️ Respect from India
My parents had taken all decisions for me ....even if try to choose cloth or food from table ...i dont had any role Result : I couldnt figure out what i like and dislike I had married for 4 years But still couldnt My husband is frustrated with me
Don’t wait to forgive someone till they apologise. You may end up waiting forever. Remember, it’s easy to hold a grudge and it’s easy to lay blame. But by doing so, you’re allowing others to have power over you. For the sake of closure and healing, you should forgive and move on.
My parents are narcissist, toxic , very controlling and hyper demanding ye sb hmre sath to ho gya but is sb batoon ka solution kia h jo ap ny podcast my btati
46:40 respect others is key to earn respect When you grow then responsibilities aati hai 52:00 true 53:20 his favourite hadis , Allah taala ko naram mijaj Pasand hai 1:13:30 true
The sad part is when you realize you have been through all of this. Each and every aspect of bad parenting mentioned here has been a part of my personal experience, unfortunately. But ALHUMDULI'ALLAH I didn't let it make me a horrible person. I am on deen and try to be patient as much as possible because I understand that among all tests that ALLAH puts his people through, this is my test. Yes, I do get irritated sometimes but never let it take charge on me or my actions much. The solution now is to not become like your parents and incorporate empathy when you become one. INSHA'ALLAH.
