Jan 25th, a day that is hard to process but hope to turn it into a day to celebrate.
As much as I try to stay composed, its hard when this anniversary comes around. I tell myself that I am not controlled by this day and that I will not let this day fill me with emotions to slow me down.
But my body, My body knows what day it is, my body begins to get anxious, it begins to hurt, cramp up, and stiffen when ever this day comes around.
This year is different, its harder emotionally. The first year, I had determination to beat the odds and a spartan race to prepare for. This allowed me to not deal with the emotions of what happen in 2019. But this year, year two, the determination is fading and there is no new athletic goal for me to achieve. So I am left with my thoughts and left with my body remembering that day. My body remembers even if I don’t want to remember.
So today, I know I’ll be emotionally unstable. I will naturally try to suppress thoughts and feelings. But I must not, I need to heal emotionally from these coming days as much as I need the physical healing days.
On this day, I ask that you join me in prayer for my mind, body and spirit because these past few weeks have been filled with difficult emotions for me.
24 янв 2021
