Traumatic Childbirth 

1.5 year after I gave birth I am dealing with this every time some ignorant person tells me that it’s time to have another.

I wish I had seen this after my son was born. I felt so isolated like I was going crazy in my mind.

4 kids and 13 years later, still painful to remember and it hurts me and makes me feel guilty b/c my kids' births should be a celebration, not sadness...:(

Ten years later and still in the midst of the pain. Long term physical health issues still linger. Ptsd controlling my daily life. Ocd out of control. Thank you for this video ❤

I’m not sure if you’ll even see this so many years later Penny, but thank you. I have every single one of the things you described, and I’m going to get help now. It’s a big relief to put a word to all the many things I’ve been going through.

Thank you so much! My baby is 2 months old and I just able to cry about my birth. I was trying to avoid it but i dont want to be in fear anymore. I want to let go of the fear of doctos, fear of people who are not able to understand and blame me for my feelings. Thank you for the hope

Thank You Penny, I thought It was all in my head. I don’t feel alone anymore.

Fucking heart rending to say the least this comment section. I'm so sorry my sister moms I wanted to be relatively alone in my struggle.

My baby girl is amazing, I am so happy to have Her. She is almost 3 years already but sometimes I still wake up at 2 or 3 am and can not stop thinking about traumatic childbirth. I wish I could have more children in the future but I am afraid that feelings I had after giving birth. It was so strong even 8 or 9 months after delivery. I live in Poland Europe and still didn't find anybody who would understand me.

Thank you for this video and the resources you provide. I had an emergency C section after a 31 hour labor. I was terrified the entire time and my husband slept during the majority of my labor (he works in construction and had been working intensely the week prior so he was exhausted) I felt so alone. I mainly communicated with the nurses. No sleep or food. I didn’t get the immediate skin to skin time as they put me to sleep to stitch me up and I woke up 30 minutes later. My husband had to take my place in that. I’m still so deeply hurt by this experience. I think I’ve suppressed a lot of it but have painful intrusive memories of that time.

Honestly I am so traumatized by my first birth that I doubt I will ever have more children. The PTSD episode I had during the delivery of my rainbow baby endangered both of us. I struggle everyday to function as a "normal" person. Why are we not educated about these issues before suffering trauma? :/

Wow this video is beautifully done so gentle. I had a traumatic birth 8 months ago and still struggling but this video was reassuring to watch ♥️

Time and kindness. I’m 10 months PP and working everyday to heal from a traumatic birth. I really want to regain my confidence so that I can have another baby. Wish you could be my doula!

Wish I’d had this 31 years ago after my traumatic birth. Tomorrow my daughter ( who experienced the traumatic birth too when she got a skull fracture from forceps and a cardiac team was called in) is being induced ( to avoid the same experience). I am afraid she might have a similar experience. I hope not. Your videos are so comforting!

After a traumatic birth, 52 hours, my baby and i in danger, onder narcose operation he was born. Lucky my son is fine and a happy boy. After him i had 4 miscarraiges. Now i am so stressfull and i can't work at this moment. I want to heal.

Penny you are wonderful I love listening to you speaking. You are an inspiration x

Penny, I think you are amazing!! I am a childbirth instructor and doula. I had a traumatic childbirth with my fist baby 7 years ago. I knew birth could be different so I found support form midwives who let me have the type of birth I knew my body was meant to have for my second and third babies. They are also the sweet ladies who encouraged me to become a birth instructor and doula. I never knew there was a name for that...Post Traumatic Growth. I LOVE IT!! It wasn't until my son was 5 years old that I realize how beautiful that birth really was and how it changed my life entirely.

Stumbled on your video when searching for education material on childbirth PTSD for a mom's mental health support group. This is incredible. Thank you. It describes everything so well. I related to every part of this video, having PTSD after my son's birth, and also having amazing staff at my daughter's birth who I am convinced prevented more trauma. Thank you! 💜

I wish i could meet this lady. I just had my baby 4 days ago here at home with NO MEDS and it was my 1st time doing a homebirth... and it will be my last time !!! It was TOOOOO SCARY AND TRAUMATIZING...

I have suffered from this for so long. Birth trauma Olympics here. 4 c sections, 3 emergent and extremely premature. I'm talking 24 weeks for the first and we both almost died. Failed anesthesia twice. 3 LONG nicu stays totalling 204 days. And the kicker, I have been a nicu nurse for 15 years and have to walk in and pretend I'm okay facing similar experiences. Breastfeeding is a huge trigger for me and I'm supposed to help women do it. I've tried all the meds, all the therapy. It's just getting worse. I lasted 5 months on the last medication, trintellix, but instead of wishing I were dead because of anxiety/depression/ptsd, the meds make me wish I was dead because of side effects like anhedonia and anorgasmia. So I've tapered off and going back into my dark hole because there really is no good solution without those side effects. I avoid public, TV shows, social media because invariably something triggers me. I definitely had ptsd with my first but it wasn't as severe. Second was more depression. Third I experienced anxiety but it went well and just the csection part was horrible but I got to take home a baby. Fourth one took me by surprise. I went 24 weeks, 31 weeks, 37 weeks and then a car accident derailed me and I had 4th at just shy of 28 weeks and had a HORRIBLE birth that i screamed through the whole thing. And it was a difficult extraction and left my body with visible evidence of the trauma. Now i have giant incisional hernias that im terrified to get fixed. This last birth broke me completely and i don't think I can be put together again. And I kept telling doctors, psychiatrists, therapists and no one believed me. Oh, you don't really feel that way. Here. Take some wellbutrin which will drive ptsd anxiety through the roof. Oh that didn't work. Have some ssri so that you feel dead inside and can't feel your vagina. That should make things so much better. My favorite was one therapist who said she didn't understand why I had ptsd if my kids all lived. Like almost dying AND almost causing the death of a couple of your kids is no big deal. Sorry for the rant. I sincerely thank you for taking up the cause that everyone pretends doesn't exist. I feel like people think as long as you get a baby in the end, that you are supposed to be grateful and that whatever you have to go through is worth it.

When you said the partner can suffer Trauma I once heard Lil Wayne talk about that after his first daughter was born.

I really needed this. I happened to come across this out of the blue, and I’m so thankful that anyone understands. I almost lost my baby during labor 7 months ago, and it’s continued to haunt me and torment me. I’m so thankful to know there are resources.

Having my first doula class. I'm so inspired by your books and videos. You are amazing

3:50 THANK YOU

Thank you Penny!!!

It's sad because her friends are helping destroying her instead of getting her help she disappear with the baby everyday

I’m crying watching this video because I really do have these symptoms and didn’t know this was ptsd at all I had a really bad experience at baptist hospital in Arkansas I’m watching this video and I need help I do I really do it’s been a year and I still have flashbacks, crying , getting mad at the fact that I didn’t have good care takers now my baby has brachial plexus and he still hasn’t been seen by a therapist 🥺

Love the 'Post Traumatic Growth' concept, thank you xo

Thank you for talking about this😔

After reading the comments, all i know that i can do is, protecting myself from such an unfortunate experience. I will never let my body go through something traumatic. I love myself alot and later on i can't regret myself. So, yes, going for another option to have a kid will save my life. (There will be some replies for this comment who will try to change my mind but, so sorry, your attempts won't work. I won't become pregnant anyday)

Ive always been told you have a healthy baby. So stop worrying about it. I gave up on talking to anyone. My childhood was alright so I don't what lead me to feel traumatized.

❤️ thank you for this. I feel less alone now.

Hi Penny, thank you for this video. But what if you can't recover? I just want to be better. I cannot see the light.

Thank you

This is a wonderful video. This is the type of thing mamas need help with after a baby. My last birth was horrible and it was 2 yrs ago. And I would live to have 1 more baby and IDK if I can go back to my doctor etc

I had a really bad experience. The epidural destroyed my back to this day im in constant pressure and it didnt work, i had multiple internal blood clots, multiple of my veins exploded as he came down, i had golfball size blood blisters, they used the forceps and vacuumed him out. At the time of my birth i had the worst 2 month cold of my life, my coughing ripped all my fissure stitches constantly and i had to be put on opioids. Then they backed me up so much i didnt use the bathroom for a month and i needed an enema. Nothing compares to my veins exploding and then being stuck without going to the bathroom for a month and waiting 30 hours for an enema.

Thank you so much for putting these videos out Penny! They are informational as well as inspiring. The prenatal period is very important, please discuss good nutrition, Habitual abortion (chronic miscarriage), and postpartum depression. Thank you again.

I'd like more information on how this traumatic birth can affect the baby, especially when the baby is in intensive care right after birth for a time, and hadn't gotten enough oxygen. How does this tend to play out in the child's life?

Thank you for this. I found out I had Uterus Didelphys after 20 something hours into child birth. My husband was deployed (came home when he was 5 months old) but Luckily my doula helped me express how much I didn’t was a Caesarian but they didn’t listen to me saying I would like an epidural because they cut my septum without it. That was insanely painful and I had two waves of contractions from each uterus that didn’t line up. I’m pregnant again and I would love a natural birth but I’m almost too scared to try.

I'm 61 years and i have 3 very bad traumatic childbirth i can see or really talk about it.

I wouldn't say I'm traumatised or need to cry about it. But it truly makes me feel like less of a woman because I couldn't give birth to my daughter normally. I don't know... I often just think to myself "nature didn't intend for me to have kids..."

🙏🏽

My girlfriend is dealing with this she talk about the past all day everyday

Thank you for giving me reassurance that I can be stronger

Hi :) first I want to say thankyou so much for the videos you make and the things you share, I have personally had a very hard time finding online help for my specific situation. I wanted to ask if there are good places to look for information and help on topics related to experiencing trauma and abuse during pregnancy, and I have a particularly hard time finding help for women who have experienced impregnation by rape, and go on to deliver and raise /adopt out their infants. Anything is helpful, thanyou

Dear Penny, would it be ok if I create a Czech subtitles for your video? Thank you, Michaela

all the feels every time! I’m a doula and encourage all of my moms to feel this empowered in their births! follow the journey on IG and RU-vid @adrianathedoula

how does it effect the baby?

Are you talking about the women being born or the women giving birth? Because I suffered severe birth trauma. I had to be pulled out with forceps. Apparently my mother almost died. So there's a helluva start to my life. I had to be yanked out and nearly killed my mother. Yeah, birth trauma is real but who really suffers. 🤔 The fallout affects millions of children who fail to have the experience of normal bonding between the mother and the child. The denial continues and the developmental trauma the child suffers sets him/her up for dysfunctional relationships throughout life. 😱

From Basil % Charlotte's white Poster board notes. April 2000 :::::::Birth Trauma---- Birth trauma for men account for psyche- sexual disorder, cult, ritual abuse, violence against Women. Resolved by- ritual- sweat lodge- and ceremony. shoUt our too my Sundance Sista NICKI!!!! WHO TAKES ALL THESE NOTES FOR US!!! AND HER HUSBAND JOHN, who's got the most beautiful voice and can sing and DRum in the Lakota songs....side note:::: nicki's dad died 2? Years ago, a veteran, native American, who danced his own DANCE w me!!! And is still dancing w PONCHA IN THE OTHER REALM....HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!! MY REALITIves.....fox Woman