Just had a baby and I made it clear to the delivery team and the nurses who took care of me postpartum that my husband is my advocate (brought Power of Attorney papers with me for him). If people didn't want to listen when I asked nicely he was there to tell them what I needed or wanted.
Even if someone doesn't have a husband/SO it is SO important right now to have someone with you that you know and trust that will advocate for you all through your delivery process. It's sad it needs to be that way but I swear they should have this as a service for people... just someone that will keep track of your things, keep notes/prescriptions together so you don't lose or forget anything, and if you ask for something they can keep on the staff about it.
Anyone going into the hospital needs an advocate. No matter how small the complaint or procedure is. It’s awful that it has to be that way. We should be able to trust our healthcare workers but that’s the reality. I thank the gods for my wife because she has made sure I am being heard and getting the care I deserve.
This continually gets assumed to be a sexism thing but by giving him power of attorney you absolve them of all legal responsibility if your husband demands it it's his fault legally if anything goes wrong or there are any complications if you file suit they can blame him it is covering their Behind Legal usually forces them to do things like that it's a corporate problem I have a lot of family members who work in medical care and legal will ride them if they do not make you do things like this so that they can be covered from lawsuit
And this is why I don’t trust OBGYNs. Went through two OBGYNs when I knew there was an issue with my IUD. Was gaslit until I told the second doc I insist on an abdominal CT. Got the CT. Showed the IUD was floating in my abdomen far away from my uterus. Went to the ED with my CT scan. 3 OBGYNs gaslight and don’t believe me, despite looking at the CT photos and clearly seeing it’s in me but not where it’s supposed to be. Finally decided they would do surgery the next day. So it took FIVE OBGYNs and one radiologist to finally get the thing removed that perforated my uterus TWO MONTHS PRIOR.
God so many horror stories of IUDs + poor to no pain management + health complications... I'm just gonna skip that. My bf can deal with a condom. So sorry for your pain
@@TsukaiyoShould've added that I'm also so lucky, because my boyfriend doesn't want me on borth control either because of how it affected me for the 5 years I was on it. He asks me if it's safe and also judges by my cycle, and I never have to ask him to wear one ❤
I had this too after my third child. I told them something was up while I was still in the hospital because I've had two children before and knew this wasn't normal. They discharged me anyway. Then about three days after I was discharged I went to the ER about the pain. Thank goodness that dr took me seriously (unlike the nurses that I told that I was having those pains) he got an emergency ultrasound done right away and the next day I was having an emergency DNC because part of the placenta was still attached and I was hemorrhaging.
Yup! Time for a new doctor. I’ve been through some really poor OBs, both male and female, and a handful of amazing ones. The good ones are out there! But I didn’t believe it until I found one for myself. 🙃
We had this women come into triage (im a Midwife in England) and she was having severe abdo pains about 2 weeks after birth. I just massaged her abdomen and 3 HUGE blood clots shot out onto the bed. I then grabbed the bedside scanner and found a doctor, who scanned her and her abdomen was full of them. She ended up having to go to theatre. Poor thing. Turns out the same thing happened to her mother too.
I had my first last July. He was exactly 8 pounds. Had a third degree tear, which they said was only a second degree tear at first. They sewed me up and only gave me ibuprofen. I was in absolute agony for 4 days, then finally just went back to the hospital. Turns out I actually had a third degree tear, was super infected because they didn’t stitch me up all the way, AND the stitches I had were coming loose. They said I tore all the way up from my uterus to my butt. It was traumatizing! Gave me way more pain meds after having to have a second serious surgery. And after all that…still want more babies 😂❤️
Legit both my labia got torn in half having my baby but somehow I still told my partner I wanted another one before we’d left the hospital, still do just not for a few years, birth was nothing for me compared to taking care of my baby.
The OB that delivered my daughter acted like I was the most annoying thing in the world. And he completely disregarded everything me, my mother, and the nurses said to him. My daughter was born face up. She got stuck. I was pushing for over 3 hours and felt every bit of it. It was torture. I told him several times no matter how hard I pushed I couldn't get her out. I begged for surgical intervention. My daughter went into distress and the nurses just froze staring at the doctor. He literally sat back and crossed his arms while alarms were going off. He was going to not do anything and just let her die. I pushed myself up and pushed like my life depended on it. I got a huge adrenalin rush thank god, because I was so worn out and shaking and falling asleep because I was so tired during the pushing faze. Thankfully I got her out. He told me to stop pushing because the cord was around her neck. Then she was born and they plopped her on my stomach and the nurses all began to rub her mercilessly because she was blue and purple. The doctor too her to the examination table while another OB came in to deliver my afterbirth. When she was ON THE EXAMINATION TABLE SHE HAD HER FIRST SEAZURE. My mom asked him why is she shaking like that and he clicked his tongue at her and said in a snarky voice that she was "just cold." The doctor that delivered my after birth was amazing though. She put her hand inside my uterus and swept all the blood clots out and she even picked up my afterbirth out of the bag to show it to me. Later that morning after I got cleaned up I turned on the light in my room to go pee for the first time after giving birth. My daughter was in her hospital bassinet and she started screaming bloody murder and shaking again. There was a nurse right by the door and she walked in as soon as it happened and ask what the hell is going on. I told her I don't know all I did was turn on the light to go pee. I was standing there holding myself because it hurt so bad trying to hold in my pee. The nurse picked her up and she didn't quiet down, she checked her out and the only thing she could see was my daughter shaking and screaming. She pulled a phone out of her pocket and called the prick that delivered her. The doctor could hear her screams, and the nurse told him she was shaking and won't stop, and it was kind of like hiccups but it wasn't. The doctor told her to just put her to bed and let her sleep she was just tired. And he hung up. This guy didn't give a shit about my daughter. The nurse turned the lights off and she calmed down. She told me to NOT turn the lights on, and she meant business. She knew, and she knew my daughter was being neglected. My OB came in the next morning. I was nursing her. As soon as he walked around the bed he startled her. She started to have a seizure again but she kept on feeding too. I asked him if I should stop feeding her, he just said no and stood there watching her. She stopped seizing and he took her and did another examination on my bed. Then he gave her back to me. I told him about what happened during the early morning hours and how the nurse begged the doctor to come look at her and what she told me he said. He said he will be right back. He came back a few minutes latter with a team of doctors and a few suits. They all examined her, then they took her to the NICU. They were all very careful not to tell me what caused it. But she had a stroke during her delivery. If my mom was more supportive, and I wasn't so young and dumb I would have sued the hospital and made sure that doctor was fired. I can say that none of the nurses liked him though with how they acted around him. I never did see him again, and wasn't told what happened. I even tried to get her hospital records several times but she has volumes and they told me it would cost $25 dollars for the first 10 pages and a I would have to pay a dollar for every page afterwards. They said she had 2 volumes that were a few inches thick. That would have cost me hundreds of dollars of which I didn't have. When I told others who asked about this latter on they thought I was BSing them. I tried to get her records again later on when she was older but I was told they destroyed all her paper records and only kept what was necessary. I went to another doctor who sent a request for al her records. He told me all that was left was 1 page of doctors notes about where the stroke was, and the CT scan. This doctor sent her in for an MRI because she said it should have been done. she had narrowing of her blood vessels that puts her at high risk if she ever developed even small blood clots. Her pediatrician asked about why she had the MRI and he was angry about it. He was of course there in the beginning and went to see her in the hospital. They probably thought I was trying to gather evidence to sue and that is why they CYA by destroying her records. I just told him what the other doctor said, she said one should have been done. And he still refused to tell my why it happened, and the other doctor couldn't give me an explanation. None of them was willing to say out right that it happened during her birth, and the doctor that delivered her was a major neglectful gaping AH. I do not trust doctors to have my best interest at heart now.
I have no words to describe the amount of rage I feel on your behalf for how this "doctor" disregarded you, your mother, your sister, your daughter and even the nurses while you were all pleading for him to do something and for answers. I hope you're able to find a doctor that you can trust later on, especially with your daughter's health as she grows. Hugs and best wishes from an internet stranger 🫂
@@blutengel7712 My daughter is now a grown woman and on her own. Thankfully the testing they have done in her latter youth to check for seizure activity was not showing any significant activity. Her seazures were weird too. She still did things while having one sometimes. In her teens she complained about feeling weird with strobe lights but that was it thankfully. The only thing I warned her about was talking to her doctor about any birth control because most of them can cause blood clots which could cause another stroke, or death since she had the narrowing of her blood vessels in her brain. And I had to put other people in their place when to told her she needed to get birth control too. This one lady even called me a liar right in front of my teenage daughter when we were talking about this. I simply asked the lady if she had ever bothered reading the possible side effects of any of the birth control medications. She had no answer because she was an idiot who didn't know her ass from a hole in the ground. Also, she seemed to feel like she had the right to tell her what to do over my daughter disguising birth control with her doctor. But she was one of those flaming liberals who thought all religious people hated everyone else and didn't care about others or their children's well being. But she was the one telling my daughter to do something that could possibly kill her. She even had the nerve to tell my daughter I didn't love her because I believed in God. Well, my hope is that there is a god because I have seen true evil. And I welcome something good and pure and restorative when all is said and done. And she was one of those evil people. She seemed very heartless, and destructive, and didn't give a crap about the consequences of her actions.
This is literally how it goes. Like they think you just need to complain and then they pay you on the head and send you on your way. So condescending. “Women don’t know how they actually feel so we have to tell them. Aren’t we amazing?”
Honestly i decided not to have any more children because of how traumatizing my c-section and aftercare was. Also my post partum time frame was absolutely overlooked because I was already in the chart as a high anxiety patient, so everything was laughed off as just my anxiety. And I hemorrhaged after. Never saw my OBGYN again after the one time in the hospital where she messed up my sons circumcision. She sent me home with TEN weak pain pills and when I asked for a refill, she said I shouldnt be in pain still, but I was! Horrible pain in my back and abdomen, because I had huge clots I was passing from the continued bleeding. So I just cried and cried, and tried to walk while blood would be pouring down my super swollen legs. I really thank God my body fixed itself because I was terrified. Like I hate her. In my heart. Completely scared me off of more kids. I take birth control but its all ruined sex for me too. 😢 BRINGING AWARENESS TO WHAT IS NOT OKAY CAN POSSIBLY SAVE THE NEXT GENERATION OF MOTHERS FROM SENSELESS TRAUMA.
@@mamanursetina I'm so excited! I love your videos so much including the shorts and just find so much joy in them along with some tips/ insight to many important things! Thank you for uploading for us! I can't wait to see what part 3 brings!😁💞
This literally happened to me a month ago. Had my daughter in November, doc did an episiotomy on me with zero consent or heads up (female doc), laughed after and said “oh she was taking forever she was right there and you looked tired!”, not an emergency situation AT ALL. This was after three failed epidurals and me SCREAMING in pain that my hips were breaking in half after they laid me on my side and put a peanut ball between my legs…after I multiple times told them I had bad pubic symphysis (worst position to put someone with PS in). For hours they told me “you’re just feeling pressure”, this being my second baby and like I’m that over dramatic that I can’t tell the difference between extreme sharp pain and pressure 🤬😤 Went for my check up and said I had concerns about my incision, they sent in a PA, didn’t do any exam whatsoever, and cleared me for sex. Immediately moved OB offices
I saw a pelvic floor therapist after my second baby. She was very helpful. I'd highly recommend it. It isn't so common in the US, if that's where you live, so you'll have to seek it out.
@@laurao3274 thank you! They’re definitely becoming more popular now that more women are talking about this type of thing thank god. My SIL went to one and said it was life changing for her. I filled out an appointment request and I have insurance but I’m sure they’ll try to say it’s an $80 copay or something 🙄 idc though it’s worth it to go. Things just don’t bounce back in general like the did with the first child. Hopefully a boob job is in my future too lol 😂
@@sarwall_how would I find one? I mean, what words should I plug into the search engine? Just "pelvic floor specialist", or is there another name for it? To find a network provider covered by our insurance can be a bit of work (need better website). 😒
@@thekingsdaughter4233 you know what now that you say that I hard a hard time finding one under my insurance website when I searched “pelvic floor specialists” too, if I remember correctly, I did it backwards and found a few highly rated specialists in my area and talked to a few friends that saw one and asked who they had good experiences with, and ended up just calling those offices instead and asking if they accepted my insurance. Insurance companies make things so much more difficult than they need to be 🙄 I sell insurance for a living (thank god not health insurance) and sometimes they umbrella things, it could fall under physical therapy on your insurance site. But you can always call the number on your insurance card and have a live rep help you find covered specialists under your plan in your area, and I’ve had many less headaches doing that than racking my brain on their website for hours
Currently pregnant, told my doctor at my visit yesterday my stepson had an upper respiratory infection and I'm pretty sure I caught it. Had a sore throat since Friday, ears bugging me, a cough with wheezing, a runny nose ect. Dude listens to my lungs says there fluid in there and one of my numbers was 90 , he sent me to the hospital for possible pre eclampsia. I had postpartum pre eclampsia with my daughter for some context. But still, I didn't have any symptoms of pre eclampsia and he still sent me to the hospital. When I got to the hospital my blood pressure was good. All labs came back good and no protein in my urine. Dude just didn't listen to me. It's very irritating.
my cousin died from undiagnosed post pattern eclampsia, she went to urgent care twice and both times they just dismissed her as a hypochondriac new mother (4 days after birth) and told her to take tylenol, which ended up killing her. all they had to do was take her fcking blood pressure and listened to her saying “hey i just had a baby and feel like my brain is going to explode and my whole body is in horrible pain”. it’s either thinking you’re lying or overthinking, or thinking you’re downplaying it, never ever actually listening to you. it’s so screwed up.
Was it expensive for you? I mean... if you're not paying for it, I understand the better safe than sorry approach here. But you can also decline care, afaik. You might need to sign a paper, but it seems like you're complaining that your doctor did too much? If I understand correctly?
@@radschele1815 does it matter if I paid for it or not? My point is I told him what I had and he just jumped to his own thing. He blew me off. I had pre eclampsia. I know the symptoms. Runny nose and sore throat are not one of them. Headache, neck pain, blurred vision, vision with starry eyes. Swelling. Fluid in your lungs. Are symptoms of pre eclampsia.
@@kelseyroy8280 I'm sorry for your loss. I actually went to my county's version of urgent care. The doctor I had thankfully listened to me. I want to say my blood pressure by the time I got to the hospital was 205/175. I was hospitalized for two nights when my daughter was only a week old. I had to be on magnesium for 24 hours.
@elizabethhogue5282 Well... it does if he just wanted to get the extra cash in or maybe wanted to make sure that you're not experiencing different symptoms than the last time. I'm not a doctor, but it could have been different. I would rather have a very over careful doctor who's worried for me than the other way around. I get that you feel like je didn't listen, and this might be the case. But of you didn't have to pay or had any other downsides besides one more doctor visit... It doesn't Sound like what other women usually testify. Like they don't get any care at all, maybe little. You're complaining, as it seems, that your doctor wanted to make sure it's nothing?
My obgyn was amazing. I was having severe pain and trouble breathing less than two weeks after giving birth. I'd been having episodes like this for months, but it was suddenly worse. Like, everything you'd expect a heart attack to feel like. I showed up at his office with no appointment. He agreed to see me and immediately sent me over to the hospital for testing. I had tiny gallstones. He got me booked on the surgeon's schedule for the next afternoon. And no, we're not rich or have any sort of extraordinary health insurance. I was just taken care of properly by a fabulous (and male) doctor.
I feel so bad for these women that had horrible OBYGENS. 😢 i was fortunate enough that the one I’ve used since I was 16 is amazing. Always had multiple women in the room, always listened, never talked over me, always kept me in the loop of what he was thinking regarding what I was telling him, Answered all my questions, even told me the kind of questions and checks and stuff I should be doing on my own regularly or asking myself regularly, always addressed my fears and would double if not triple check if I’d asked him too, I mean all of it. Helped me deliver both of my babies too. And cared enough to give one of those “you know better” looks when I did stuff I shouldn’t have lol not in a judgmental way but in a “you gotta take care of yourself for you” kinda way. Idk. I wish everyone had a OBYGen like that.
Yeah, my care team didn't listen either when i told them everything felt boggy after my 2nd child was born. 8 days later hemmoraged. 5 days in the icu, 8 pints of blood, and 3.5 hours of surgery later I found out that had i stayed and continued with abdominal massage on my closet floor i would have bled out. I had a 15 minth old daughter and an 8 day old son. It HAS to stop.
Me too! Was believed by the third doctor at 6 months postpartum (first c-section). Surgery at 10 months and 14 months. Yup, extreme stuff happening in there. Not normal pains.
I was super lucky to have caught my hemorrhage in the hospital the same day as delivery. Only because I took a warm shower... It was horrifying, but I'm just glad it wasn't later on
I can't stand doctors like that. Why don't these doctors understand how important it is to listen to and communicate with their patients? Also, even if something the patient is experiencing really is completely normal, the doctor needs to explain that it's normal and what is causing it. For example, if a patient has just given birth and is experiencing postpartum contractions, but doesn't know that this is normal, the doctor should use a calm tone of voice to reassure the patient, and say something like, "This is completely normal. Your uterus is contracting so it can shrink back to it's usual size. You mentioned that you were experiencing quite a bit of pain, though. Do you need something for that?" If the doctor doesn't know exactly why a particular symptom happens, but they do know that it's not anything to worry about, then they need to say something like, "A lot of people experience that. We don't know exactly why that happens, but we do know that it isn't a sign of problem." I don't know why these doctors struggle to communicate on such a basic level.
Maybe because there's more than average percentage of psychopaths among surgeons and because doctors have been trained to dismiss women's complaints because for decades studies excluded women and instead treated men as the model organism because of the effects of hormonal fluctuations due to our periods, which honestly should also have told them that they SHOULD explicitly study us 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
Check in with your local health department, whatever it might be called. The stuff they do usually has affiliations with maternal based health services, and somebody in the WIC (baby/child food supplement program) Department should have referral numbers to guide you into valid help in your area. Another place is just trying your local hospital, WITHOUT the doctor as your middle man. Calling their mental help lines can possibly guide you past your physician as well. Lastly, but not certainly, the La Leche League may not even be around any longer, but it's goal was to assist nursing (and brand new) mothers cope with the stresses that come with newfound mommy hood. It was a nationwide program (20years back). They taught me a few things with my first daughter. Your doctor is only one of MANY avenues for legitimate help, please remember that. Especially with how healthcare is anymore, generally speaking. Also, as an afterthought, social media tends to have support groups for anything and everything anymore, and those groups could provide legitimate leads for personal localized care for you. Facebook would oddly be a great place to start, on that particular front. Hang in there Momma. You're honestly getting somewhere already, if you're at least aware enough to seek help. And I sincerely hope you find it. You and your baby both deserve your genuine happy smile, I promise.
I have been so traumatized by the hospital that I refuse to go back when I have another baby. They lied to me. They damaged me and it took over 6 months to heal. No thank you.
@@coribelton6272 they basically were way too rough down there when pulling my kid out. I lost a lot of blood. Their negligence could have killed me. They lied to me about it (even though we had evidence of what they did). They also told me that it would take only 4-6 weeks to recover. I visited them again 3 months later in a lot of pain and still pretty weak. They lied to me AGAIN and said that this was completely normal. When my daughter was 5 months old, I went back to them and told them that I still didn’t feel physically okay and that I was still in a lot of pain. Believe it or not this same lady says to me “Oh, that’s normal” except she gave me a weird fearful look. By the time I felt much better it was almost 7 months after I had given birth! That is not normal! I think they knew what they did and they were scared that I might’ve sued them. They also had the nerve to charge my daughter for being born (even though I was fully insured). They also didn’t respect my desire to give birth in the position that I wanted to give birth in. I’ll be better prepared when we have our next child though and I’m thankful that I’m not as shy as I was 4 years ago.
@@miegravgaardxoxo thankfully yes. My parents and my in-laws were amazing. I know that I’m very fortunate in that. Some people don’t have that. Thank you for your comment ❤️. It reminds me to be thankful ☺️.
@justhavingfun9798. My homebirth helped me heal (physically and emotionally) from my hospital birth. My midwife insisted on trauma informed counseling before delivery, and recommended a phenomenal therapist that I am still in touch with 20 years later. It's amazing how much difference a good support team can make!
This happened to a friend of mine. Five days in the hospital because she was spiking fever before they figured out is was the C-section incision getting infected. Her milk dried up during that stay as it was mere days after having her baby.
My epidural went bad numbed me from the neck down almost killed me and my daughter it took my mom throwing an absolute fit for the nurses to take it seriously then started giving epinephrine but left the epidural going into my back which caused blood pressure and heart rate to jump up and drop back down finally after my mom threatened to go to my obgyn's office and drag him back by his ear he told them to turn it off delivered 2 1/2 hrs later and had to be told and helped to push bc i had just got partial feeling back in my arms had my first ocular migraine that nightbut was told it had nothing to do with the "incident" alot of women develop headaches after giving birth
17 yo girl had a baby, allowed to lv the hospital, came back for help, sent her home again. She passed away. Her mom raised the baby. Tawas city, Michigan. The doctor still practiced after this but somewhere out there now
I'm going to guess that there was retained gauze or surgical sponge left behind(which is called textiloma or gossypiboma) It wouldn't be a surgical tool, because an X-ray would show it.
i feel very strongly that any pain that a mom is having after birth whether it’s normal or not, it should be taken very seriously. because you never know what could happen
This is exactly what happened to me, but I went to the er 1 week pp from the pain. Dr left a 10cm cyst on my ovary. Had another surgery 1mo and 1 day postpartum. My new dr says that was sketchy.. I like him 😂
Stories like this make me scared for when I have my baby in January.The only thing that makes me feel better is so far the doctors have been nice about addressing concerns I've had like treating my migraines, and that my husband said he's not gonna leave my side basically until I leave the hopefully everything goes fine
Yes doctor's not listening been there actually today. Went in for my annual physical The questionnaire was two pages longer. And had very very personal questions like have you been raped? If so when. Have you had any violence in twelve months? Years? Then, after filling it all out. She asked me the questions without even looking at the document. Bitched that I didn't go and get a mammogram even though she gave me the wrong script last time , which I asked four times to fix. Then she bitch that I didn't go and get a colonoscopy. I said I tried , but they wouldn't tell me what contrasts they were using and i'm allergic to many of them. Last time I got a c t scan or was it any mri I forget which one it is that makes you drink The barium. guess what allergic to that one too. Test was inconclusive because I couldn't stop throwing up. That metallic dye that they put in your arms for contrast. Yep threw up all over the x ray room in the hospital because they wouldn't listen to me. Can't go get a colonoscopy and ask because if i'm gonna end up throwing up Before and while i'm being knocked out. Asked her to find out and she said she was too busy. She did not listen, she did not care. All she wanted to scream was. I'm diabetic, even though my blood sugar was very low when Tested. Why was it low because I hadn't eaten for the request? Came home and promptly had a seizure. They are exhausting. What along when you're trying to get pregnant? And they blame you. But wow you're not the problem. The cancer is mine no his.
I’m sorry these experiences are terrifying this is happening in America? How sad for how little we have grown. I read one comment about her husband was her advocate that’s awesome because you need somebody on your side! The hospital doctored etc. get
That’s why I wanted midwives and not doctors for my births. Midwives LISTEN. And they also go with the flow and what your body needs they don’t go for unneeded acts just to move things along to fit their schedule. Don’t get me wrong, having OBGYNs and C-sections has an option in emergency cases is great and saves lives but unfortunately most OBGYNs just don’t want to take the time to let baby come naturally when a lot of them could.
I really hate this kind of attitudes from some doctors. My friend died last week from a year in her intestines that was originally diagnosed as "pain from hysterectomy scar tissue." The hysterectomy was 15 years ago. 😐 I can't think too long about it or all I feel is rage.
This is exactly my birth with my son like on the dot dude. I felt him trying to come out. Nobody ever asked me to push or lifted my legs nothing they said i was 8 cm dilated and my son heart rate dropped to 40
How awful & condescending… wish more doctors took there patients (especially women) wants/needs more seriously. Will there be a Part 3? I think we all need to find out what happened w/ the stomach pain
I FUCKING HATE IT when doctors do this!!! Just check me out, actually check, first THEN you can give me affirmative assurance because you looked! Grrrrr
You can guess being a skit here that absolutely somethings wrong. One minute videos really restricts me but next part coming your way tomorrow afternoon ☺️
