Hello guys I don't mean any disrespect by this but please stop leaving comments about sexual assault and suicide. I understand but as some dealing with trauma from an abusive relationship that I also happen to now associate this song with because my abuser showed me it, getting constant notifications from people commenting these graphic descriptions of triggering topics is extremely upsetting when I am still recovering from said trauma. I don't want to turn off comments or notifications because I enjoy reading some of the comments, but if this keeps happening I might have to. Thank you for enjoying the video though its been years since I uploaded this, I hate this song now and I'm not even proud of this video but I'm still glad there are people that do like it.
It reminds me when your friend says b.s about you and makes you feel bad about yourself in front of random people. and they repeat that line till you forgive them.
I have realized over last year that I am much happier/calmer by myself. I do not need friends or people always around me anymore. It becomes toxic which is not good for me spiritually,mentally,or verbally. I am trying to better myself and I need my own space. Especially as a member of the church I strive to be the best I can be and follow Jesus example!
nobody asked my opinion but this song reminds me of one girl she was my best friend at the time and i was so in love with her but she was the most toxic person i ever met she made me cry and feel guilty for everything i did she insulted me multiple times without said sorry after she always said it was my whole fault she manipulated me and i really did believe it was my fault i knew she was toxic but i couldn't let her go because i was so obsessed with her she manipulated my own mind. but she was in love with this guy he was toxic just like her the “fun” fact is that this guy always made her cry but she always forgave him for everything he did but with me she always gets angry at everything i did “wrong” (like when i spoke with someone that wasn’t her) and that’s because she was in love with him but not with me he even cheated with the girl she hated the most but she forgave him everything about the first part of the song remind me about this relationship with her, him and me even the title of the song is perfect “not allowed” cause we all were not allowed to do the things we really want to do all we could do was watching our friendship gone wrong and wrong and argue for literally every single thing i don’t even know how to describe this whole thing but if i should describe it it would be with this song
Hey I'm really sorry you had to go through that. This song was actually shown to me by my abuser who wouldn't let me do anything, I couldn't see friends, I couldn't draw what I wanted to, I couldn't like music made by another man or music that had slightly sexual lyrics, I couldn't do anything that made him remotely jealous. He kept me with him for over a year by lying about having cancer so I felt obligated to stay with him. He cheated on me all the time and I still stayed with him because I really did love him. He showed me this album and it was one of my favorites for a while but I can't listen to it anymore because of the bad memories associated with it. I didn't think I'd spend this much time on a reply on an upload of a song that I don't even like anymore but it feels like I kinda have to here. I just want you to know you're not alone in this. I don't know if you do this but I used to blame myself or think I was at fault for letting it happen and if you ever end up thinking the same just realize its nothing more than your brain being silly and anything done to you by anyone else is entirely their own fault and being able to handle all that and also speak out about it just means you're a strong person, and thats pretty badass of you. I hope the trauma from your experiences doesn't still hurt and even when it does remember that the random dude on youtube wants you to stay strong and get through it :)
@@deliriantpsychosis i just want to thank you for say that it makes me happy knowing that i’m not alone but at the same time i am really sorry for what you have been through i hope now you feel better and everything is okay and if not i just want you to know that i care about you and i’m here thank you again for reply hope you have a good day :)
@alysia ev i’m so sorry that you feel like this but i’m mostly sorry because i can just write this comment but just remember that everything will be better and if this not going to happens you should try to go to a psychologist like i’m doing right now it really helps speak out about something like that i really do care about how you feel and i hope that you will get better in the future and it’s not your fault literally trust me you don’t deserve it at all he’s such a bad person for what he had done to you but don’t let this fact manipulate your mind and think that is your fault okay? and always remember im here and you are not alone everything will get better you just have to trust even if i know it’s really hard just remember you are so strong and you can do it hope you have a good day too :)
This song really just makes me realize how I was hurt a such a young age. And how manipulative people can be. They will use you untill you are just nothing, as a kid I remember saying that I would never become unhappy, and can now see I failed myself.
This song feels like the aesthetic I lived in when I fell in love and the relationship with my past boyfriend. I confessed my feelings to a boy in my class, and he actually liked me back, and on valentines day - he brought me a flower and chocolate and asked if I wanted to be his valentine. I said yes. We hung out the same day, and things were very awkward. To be honest, things between were awkward the entire relationship. We weren’t romantic, and if people didn’t know we liked each other - they’d never guess we were a couple. When we walked together; we didn’t hold hands. We never kissed, we never got intimate. We only gave hugs when saying goodbye (which is personally fine by me). It seems as though, going from strangers to lovers - doesn’t work out. We didn’t know each other at all first. Something I had noticed about him, even when I had just caught feelings - he brings an extremely strange and special atmosphere where ever he goes. It’s so difficult to explain, and I can’t describe it. It just draws you to him and make you want to be near him. We didn’t hang out often either, maybe once a month, but when we did - we hung out for many hours. We watched anime, listened to music and talked A LOT. We got to know each other pretty well after time. Even though we knew each other well - I never got comfortable. Something about his atmosphere and ‘being’ - made me uneasy. As before - I can’t explain the feeling, but he was difficult to get comfortable around. No matter what, even when giving a hug - a cold and lost barrier blocked the touch, made me feel far away - even if I was sitting or standing right beside him. Not to forget - he didn’t take much contact. He always seemed distant - which I can’t blame him for. However, the distance made me overthink, feel insecure and lost - and my feelings for him slowly but surely - faded away. About two months in the relationship, I decided to reassure him, and tell him that I still liked him. I was also convincing myself that I was still in love. He was happy about the reassurance, but he didn’t reassure me back. A few months later, just before the school year was about to end - he said «love you» to me over text. He didn’t put the «I» there, which again made me overthink. His lack of interest and initiative, made me think «does he really mean it?» and I doubted it. I couldn’t say it back. A little while later again, when school had ended - I sent him a message and told him that; this schoolyear, he was my motivation to go to school. What he answered shocked me. He said that he didn’t want to know what would’ve happened if I hadn’t been there. I might’ve saved his life, and that means a lot to me. What he didn’t know, was that I had been thinking about ending the relationship with him. A month later I noticed we were starting to lose contact. He didn’t contact me, unless I did first. He didn’t send the goodnight texts anymore, he overrall didn’t seem interested in talking with me or how I was doing. I was sure of it - he had lost interest, and that made me fall more out of love. Not long after - I broke up and he took it well. He didn’t say anything about having lost feelings, but I assumed it. He also wanted us to still be friends - and I wanted that too! I had a strong crush on that boy for 8 months, and we dated for 3 of those. We always seemed more like friends instead of lovers, and if we ever were to hang out again, as friends - I feel as though there wouldn’t be much of a difference from when we were dating. I would love to hang out with him again, I feel strongly drawn to him - sometimes I wonder if I even fell out of love at all. Edit: hahah, just found out he’s in love with my best friend :)
I love a girl since 2017 she stills thinks me just as her best friend and that sucks she helped me with much things I got rejected by her twice now i love her more than ever but i am not feeling like she does love me back Love is complicated Oh yeah and this story remembered me how i will always be rejected by her
So how should I begin this? I guess it started when you were with him And how he never even took you out to dance But did he fuck with any rhythm? But now he's playing with your head But did he ever make you come? Did he ever make you cry? Do the wires in your mind get sewn together Rubbed and severed by the head You don't know how long I could start into your picture And wish that it was me I guess it's different cause you love him But I've got an interactive Sick and twisted imagination And that's gotta count for something I dreamt I was standing in your doorstep Licking sweat off of your forehead With your finger in my mouth And the sound when leather jackets hit the ground You should hear when you're not around When it's just us horny poets Who can't wait to write it down And swear we were only being being honest Do you like these little sonnets Cause I wrote them just for you But how quickly they turn sour So be careful who you screw And never call And I'm starting to suspect You don't intend to do anything you say at all
This song honestly just brings back trauma, it feels nostalgic. Like it’s looped or something. You know that feeling when you feel like your being looked at in the room all over. That type of feeling.
I hate looking at myself in the mirror and seeing someone different each time. It’s scary not feeling like you actually exist. Sort of like a really long day dream.
same. to me it feels almost like everyone in this world is like an AI that isn’t really existing just simply acting as if they are truly existing in my world.
i dont know what it is about this song. for some of it its the lyrics. but the vibe is giving me like teenagers doing shit they arent supposed to be doing. i love how they give off such a kind of a 90s hip hop feel in the beginning, with the girls voice and the laughing. then it switches to this guy singing kinda in a melancholic type way?? usually it would not go together but it does here. anyways thank you for reading my song observation lmao
I guess I'll share my story here too, I've been meaning to tell somebody about all of this crap, and this song really gets me thinking. This all started in 2020 when I met her on facetime with a friend, we were all bored and tired, we were looking for something, anything, do too. So, they said (I'm just gonna call her Brandy) wanna join this call, Brandy and a ton of other people are on it, and that's what we did. From the moment I saw her, from the moment I heard her voice, her laugh, I fell for her. I had never been so in love, never in my life had I felt this feeling. I wanted to get close with her, treat her nice, make her happy, she was the light of my life I'll tell you. So, we talked for a bit, around seven months just getting to know her. Texting, joking, late-night calls, bonding, I had never once met her in real life but to me that didn't matter. I didn't care if it was online, if it wasn't, I just had this desire to be with her. So you can imagine how happy I was when I finally asked her to date me, and she said yes. This was our first time dating, it really wasn't that big of a deal. She was a cheerleader, I was a football player, everyone sort of loved us, except for the girls who liked me and the many boys who liked her. I nearly got into a fight with a boy who loved her nearly as much as me. Anyways, something huge happened at the end of September 2020, big with the family, and all of a sudden she didn't mean nearly as much to me. I went across the country for around three months and battled one of the darkest times of my life out there. It really was horrible, I don't like thinking about those times but you gotta understand that she was all of a sudden the least of my worries. I broke up with her sometime in November because I didn't wanna drag her through hell by telling her about how much I hate my life and all. I have no idea what she did after I broke up with her, we just stopped talking. We didn't leave off on a bad, toxic, nasty note, it was just a pretty damn sad one. That was the last friend or even just connection I had back with home, and the next few months I was completed isolated, alienated from everyone else. I came back in late December, with no friends, during quartine, I couldn't even go out to meet my old ones or meet new people. I was just there, in my house, afraid, sad, lonely. It sucked, it really did. Come new years day and who else messages me but Brandy, she says happy New Year. I say it back, and then she says "how are you?". I really thought about answering that question for a bit, and to be honest, I don't know why I did. I guess I was scared, I think I didn't want a relationship, or it was just that over time my feelings went away. So, we skip a couple months, we go towards the end of the summer of 2021. I had barely talked to her, I made all my friends back, I was pretty popular and I was doing football again. I passed the grade which is something I thought I wouldn't do because of all the lost time spent across the country, I was happy, and she was out of my life. Then, when we all went back to school I saw her for the first time in real life. Now it wasn't like last time where I fell for her, it wasn't like a Romeo and Juliet kind of deal where I questioned if I had ever seen someone so pretty, it was more of a "Wow, she's hot" and move on. I guess this is the best time to mention she had two boyfriends ever since we broke up, she just broke up with her other one and she was getting with this other boy, I was cool with him, but it just struck me weird as how he was able to get her. I saw videos of them, snuggling, cuddling, how happy she looked, and the fact she was dating a short baseball player compared to me, a fairly large for my age football player. Then, like that, I fell for her again, even harder than I did before. Like all the pieces fell in place for me, as I gained feelings for her, he broke up with her. I told her I feel, and she wrote me this long paragraph about how she still loved me through all of her boyfriends, how she was so hurt when I broke up with her, yadda yadda. My best friend, who I'm still close with had the same thing said to him because he also dated her, but god, I was so blinded by love I still dated her. The memory is fuzzy from those times man, I didn't know if I was happy or not, I didn't know if she actually loved me or not, she did a lot of questionable things. I loved her so much, more than I used to. She was my everything, I gave her my all, I poured my heart and soul into her, I gave her everything I could, I told her everything she wanted, I was there for her. Then, she broke up with me. Then, she changed, then she started vaping, hanging out with these gang kids, these F boys who would treat her like shit. It all happened so fast, it was like getting shot, one moment you are alive and happy, and the other you're dead. She played me, her friends told me that she liked other byos when we were dating, she never really liked me, I was so confused, questioning if any of that was real, I'm a fairly tough person and it still brought me to tearful nights. Everyone told me to move on, but I just couldn't. She was so pretty, she was my everything. Even though she treated me like shit, even though she moved on from me so fast, liked other boys, talked so much shit about me I was so blinded by love. I started drinking, downing bottles of whiskey and vodka every time I thought of her, I'd pass out drunk on my bed. It helped, in a way, it wasn't at all a good way of coping but there was nobody I trusted enough to talk about it to. I don't know why I loved her so much, maybe it's because she was the only person there for me. After all, she used to tell me everything I wanted from her, I have no idea. She was kind of the only person there for me, I never really talked to anyone else as much as I did with her. I had so many godamn issues, and they all started piling up once she left me. When I saw her in the hallways, I would nearly drop dead, my stomach would drop and I would freeze up. She started hanging out with all of these bad crowds, just becoming a whore, playing boys left and right. Her friends told me I was just one of her many victims, that I should forget about her, but I just could not. Over time and I mean a while, I just started forgetting about her. I met someone else, she may be as pretty as Brandy but my and Brandys' history is just different. I'm talking to this new girl, I love her, I love her to death, but deep down, deep down inside of me are these feelings for Brandy. I still love her, and I don't think I will ever not. Sorry for bad spelling, I don't have a excuse for that, I'm just a bad speller.
thanks for sharing mate. Truly. Reading this I could relate to many parts. Just know, even thought it doesn't feel like it now or doesn't feel like things will ever change, time heals all wounds.
How You Lost your friends ? 1. Commited a sucide 2. left me 3. Was toxic 4.ignored me All by yourself sitting alone I hope we are still friends yeah I hope you don’t mind
HOLY SHIT YOU DESCRIBED IT PERFECTLY!!! it always feels like all of a sudden there’s people in the room and they’re all watching you, for me it’s that they’re laughing at me as I’m breaking down or ridiculing me but I found out that it’s just me making fun of myself for being vulnerable.
@@mannysmith7297 I used to feel presences around me when I was a teen, I thought they were ghosts. In a way they were, it was blocked memories from my past traumas that my brain conjured around me. It's funny that it was the memories of the worst times in my life but they make me feel not so alone. I don't know if you need to hear this but maybe someone else who will come across this comment does: It is absolutely okay to be vulnerable. I've learned through my life and time in rehab that the strongest people are those who confront their emotions and allow themselves to feel and cry. There was a time I couldn't cry at all, which doesn't mean I was weak. I was trying to stomach all the pain and hardship and I couldn't allow myself to be vulnerable or I would fall apart. But when I went to rehab I let myself break, and holy shit did my body and mind need that. If you need to take a break from life, it's not selfish. There's no such thing as being lazy or weak. If you don't have the energy to do something, that is your brain telling you it needs rest. If you break down, it does not mean you are weak. It means you are processing your emotional pain, and that process makes you evolve. Because the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is a half truth. You can be emotionally crippled by hardship, honestly the vast majority of humankind is. It can leave you scarred. It can be deadly, even if you're not dead yet. So please, from a stranger on the internet on behalf of everyone who cares for you, allow yourself to feel weak, or to feel at all. Because you deserve to be alive on this planet, and you don't deserve to live in pain. I'm not just saying shit. Nobody deserves to die because they feel alone. You deserve community and love and support. There have been times where I was too far gone to ask for help. Save that energy up, write a letter to anyone capable, and ask to be helped. Because you deserve it. I don't know you, but I love you. Seriously. I wish you the best.
@@editor3409 haha well it’s been 2 months since we’ve talked. i tried reaching out but he wants nothing to do with me. so i’ve gotten used to it and i realize i don’t need him even though i miss him. it’s also awkward now bc we have class together again, but i know my place and i’m not gonna force anything
wow so second update: we’re “friends” again, he apologized to me, but i still don’t believe him. i guess the damage is still there and it hurts a lot to think about everything that happened, especially because i want more and he doesn’t but sometimes he act like he does. i know i’m getting used again, i know it won’t end well.
okay so my mom and i never had a good relationship and i accepted that when i was 7. Im 15 now and a couple days ago we got into an argument and she screamed "why are you such a mistake i wish you were never born". And she has said stuff like that in the past but it hurts everytime she says it. and I have a friend group that has the perfect life (family and mentally wise). And i have never ranted to them but i had no one else to talk to so i texted the groupchat. and 2/3 left me on open and the last one texted and said ' thats too much reading and i dont really care". So i just deleted it and cried. Maybe my mom is right. No one really cares about me so why even bother living..
My whole life I just wanted to get other people’s validation. But after a couple months I’ve started to care more about myself. I still struggle with the validation of my parents but I’m slowly letting it go. I’m much more happier without friends because I have myself and I can count on myself to always be there for me.
This song means so much to me, an emotion I don't think im quite ready to share, I dont even think i know what that emotion is. it reminds me of losing someone, the saddest emotion you could possibly feel, but it also makes me feel strangely nostalgic and the happiest you could possibly feel. the line "we wanna talk about sex but we're not allowed" means something to me on a deep level that i cannot comprehend. "i hope we;re still friends i hope you dont mind," also reminds me of somthing i either cant remember or havent yet experienced. this song almost emanates maturity, it seems almost too mature for me to understand. It also reminds me of a super lonely or sad wilbur soot arg edit, (if you guys know what that is) Im sorry for the long comment, i just thought i'd share.
@@NakuNee It's my 11th grade year and I still feel the same. Definitely developed over the years but it's been a roller coaster of an experience lol. Thanks for asking
@@ItsMrs.Marston yes I graduated a month before after posting that comment, the world without school is much more different, free in a type of way but the true realities of life is hard, although I’m only 18 I’m treated as if I’ve been an adult my whole life
god i love my handsome boyfriend, he loves this song and tv girl, ive gotten him into bands i enjoy, songs i love, etc, and hes just so lovely, when i hear this song, i dont get sad anymore, i get filled with comfort due to knowing my FAVORITE person EVER enjoys it, and its so calming, i know this is slowed, but i listen to this version almost every time i sleep due to how slow and nice it is, and it stills fills me with comfort and a sense of safety. thank you for making this, it helps me sleep alot
I'm tired of always being there for them and no one being there for me. I'm tired of being used. I'm tired of living. I'm tired of being the second option. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of having suicidal thoughts. I'm tired of being suicidal. I'm tired of always falling the same way. I'm tired of people taking me as bad. I'm tired of living. I'm tired...
Idk man, i’ve been suicidal for months on end, and I recently heard my sister is going to have a baby, and i was planning on ending it the past month, but i couldn’t i want to be there for my sister. The pressure is just crushing me, idk what to do man. I try to be happy but i just cant i’ve gone to therapy, and it has been useless. My mom and dad, dont know about my mental health, and its been a struggle to hide. I barely eat, sleep, i sometimes dont even have the motivation to get out of bed. Idk if i can handle this anymore. :/
I love you, okay? I'm going through some stuff, and I really hope you realize your not alone. You belong here on earth, seriously, and it breaks my heart to see this comment. I may be a stranger, I may not even be 13 years old, but you should keep fighting. If you have nobody else to fight for, fight for me, please
I was and currently am in the same boat, in fact so much is happening in my life one by one that is destroying everything that was ever good. I did think about giving up too, but I figured there has to be an end to all these things right? Nothing lasts forever, not even bad times. There’s always going to be a light at the end of the long tunnel, so keep walking :)
I was listening to this song while i was skating in my hometown for the last time(I am from Ukraine, so i had to leave due to the war). Skating was everything for me then, I still remember the void in my soul, and how the feeling of speed was filling it
I'm really sorry to hear that. I'm from Russia and I'm really sorry that everyone is still tormented by this nonsense war. I love your people, all the best to you!
Is it just me or does anyone feel nostalgia or sadness from this song? No matter how much I listen to any version or implication of this particular song, I just feel reminded of life and all experiences that comes with it. I hate these depressing sounding songs, because it makes me think about how I'll die one day and everyone around me will as well. Honestly, it makes me feel shittier than I already feel about myself. 😐
you’ve probably heard this before, but this will pass. pain is temporary. from someone who struggles with depression that comes and goes, i know how u feel. make sure you reach out to someone if you feel like things aren’t getting better. i love you and i hope you are feeling better ❤️🪴☀️🥰
I can imagine the end of this song playing in my head while I look at my friend one last time in school. It's honestly really heartbreaking to see your best friend cry and hug you tightly 😹💔