I am 65 and do things as needed. I clean my toilet when I think it needs it without cleaning the whole room. It doesn't matter as long as it's done once a week. I have a two-bedroom townhome, and it's easy to take care of, yet some days I am tired. Lol. Everyone says my house is so clean all the time. Well, it's just me and my husband. I have been decluttering for a few years now and am at my most comfortable place.
Oh - I hoped this is what would happen to me! I never dreamed that we wouldn’t be empty nesters that could downsize. Our house has been so full and the economy is preventing our two children from living out (and 2 grandchildren). My mom lived with us for about 12 years until she passed away last August. We’re blessed to have the room so I’m grateful for that, but having kids around complicates things - especially the 6 year old. Ha. I just go day by day. It’s wonderful to hear from you!!
This was helpful thank you! My husband and I are still parenting grown children with extreme disabilities. Trying so hard to think differently so I am not feeling like a crushing failure. Trying to be kinder to myself as I would be towards to others who working hard but life looks different.
@@debraseiler4148I have children with disabilities too! It sure makes life interesting. Sometimes, it’s tricky not to wish things were different when you see how well other kids do (grow up), but then I always have to go back to remembering how glad I am to have children. I almost didn’t get any.
@@TowardsASimpleLife there is beauty in every season of life, even this weird season when our kids have trouble launching. I miss when we had our own and extras just a little bit. And I’m enjoying the empty nest as well - but still not downsizing because it doesn’t make financial sense at this point to do so. But I’m getting ready for it. My new thing is that I want life to be more enjoyable now by having fewer things, but still able to have houseguests whenever we want, and with as little prep needed as possible. I’m still struggling with the whole “beloved projects“ situation. That, and the disruptions of every day life that have occurred, the frozen pipes, the ants eating the floor because of an undiagnosed very, very slow leak, Needing help with projects to freshen things up after a couple of decades, and having a spouse that isn’t interested in doing that after a long day of work, and then not being interested in it on a weekend. All the things. Plus being slower. I had to overcome a lot of the “sweat equity” belief system that I was raised with. Which is insane because I generally don’t know how to do a lot of the things that I keep procrastinating on because I somehow think that I can, or should do it myself.😂
I’ve had chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia for 33 years. Raised my kids during those years. I had to simplify my life a lot. Others don’t get the severity of the condition. I never folded my towels during those years., plus many other simplifications. You make me feel smart for doing those things, rather than a bit embarrassed. The fatigue is worse now that I’m older and I’m no longer going to feel bad about doing what I can. My children are better for having lived through my health problems, and they are very understanding because they knew I was doing my best. I’m very proud of them and grateful I was willing to prioritize the dumbest stuff.
I’m so glad to have helped some. I think this is the kind of thing that you have to live to completely understand. All we can do is what we can do. I’m glad to hear your children are understanding. They sound like great people.
I am 61 and have been through all of these feelings. Over the last 5 years or so, I've really tried to make things more manageable for myself and my future. Much of that was getting rid of stuff and learning not to have guilt over the money, effort or time that was already spent. I've gotten rid of every piece of clothing that doesn't fit or I don't wear, I've gotten rid of every craft item that I wasn't currently using. When I plant in my garden, I think about planting perennials that will come back to save effort and money in the future. It's made such a difference in how I spend my time and not feeling like I have to be busy all the time.
This is the first time you popped up on my home page. I identify with what you've explained here. I like to call myself a recovering perfectionist. Our home was in a constant state of perfection for 10 years. And then we had our first child. I then realized just how much time, thought, money, and energy had gone into that perfect state of perfection. I felt like we had come to a crossroad. I wanted to use all that effort on our son so we made the choice to just lay it down. I surrendered. I had to train myself to clean the bathrooms less often, run the vacuum less, etc. And the difference it made in all our lives was huge! My mom or a friend would ask me what we did that day and I might answer, "We built a block house, colored a picture, played with the dog, practiced floating in the bathtub, and timed our son to see how fast he could run to the fence and back." And stepping over the mess on the floor that would be picked up in a few days didn't have any power over me anymore.
I love this! I ran into that same situation when I was raising my kids. And then, when I had to work, it was just all-hands-on-deck and let’s-survive-it-somehow. Living with a chronic illness also has really taught me some lessons I guess I needed to learn. It’s never going to be perfect around here. Never. I can’t even pretend it is perfect temporarily for the sake of a video, so I just had to let things be as they are and carry on the nest of can. I love that you have your priorities straight.
I've never encountered you before but I am having aa rough day, migraine, too much to do but still trying to push through. So many things that I can't figure out priority. I decided to sit down for a minute and have something to eat and look at RU-vid . This video of yours was a godsend. Thank you for answering the call.
Hi Cynthia, I’m so sorry that you’re having a rough day, but am glad that my video helped a little. Sometimes, I feel like deciding what to do is harder than doing whatever I end up doing. I’m on a journey to figure things out myself. This book is really helping me. So glad to have you here. Hope your migraine goes away soon.
Brilliant idea to remove the cabinets. Extra credit to you for passing them along to persons who will use them. You blessed someone(s) and you blessed yourself. Well done! ❤
Hi Nancy! So wonderful to see you. Removing and giving the way the cabinets was so good. I feel so relieved and excited about what I’m going to do next. I’ve already arranged for someone to come in next month and repair the walls!
I can’t tell you what an impact this has made in my thinking. It helps to hear it from a real person, not just the author. Just know that you have helped me today and isn’t that what the Lord wants us to do.? Help each other? Have a blessed day.
Thank you for your kind words, it means a lot to know that I could help you in some way. I'm planning about sharing some of my other favorite books and what I've learned from them. Just need to pick up the right books. Hope you have a great week!
😢Bottom line...my house is a disaster area. I let things get out of complete control when my husband was diagnosed with cancer. After he died, i spiralled down into grief and depression. Now I have a personal cancer diagnosis. My time is limited, so it is now or never. This video is so very relevant to my circumstances. I believe the Lord has guided me here.
Oh, I’m so sorry that you’ve been going through all of this. It has to have been so difficult for you. I’m grateful and humbled to hear that my video has been helpful to you. Yes, please, do what’s essential for you now!
So hard! My spouse has a cancer diagnosis as well. Check out Dr. Thomas Seyfried - if that doesn’t feel right, keep looking. Like Chris Beat Cancer. I can’t tell you how many people I have met, who have gotten better, and they did it naturally. I’ve had the pleasure of following one of these people for over 30 years, and she is still healthy, and in her 70s now. Regular doctors are obligated to offer, one or more of three specific treatments, and none of them address the cause of the problem. Whatever you decide to do, bless you and be at peace with your decluttering and coping. We never know quite What is in store for us. Health challenges certainly put a new spin on essentialism, don’t they?
Retired teacher here … you described my “teacher life” as well!! If the job is worth doing, doing the best you can - I interpreted that to mean if it could be better, I had to reach for the better level … all the time!! It was exhausting!!! I really appreciate what you read from the book (at the 20:00 mark in your video) about what to do when faced with so many tasks and obligations that you cannot figure out what to do first, stop, take a breath, get present in the moment, and ask yourself what is most important this very second… YES!! I need to learn to do that instead of allowing myself to get so overwhelmed that I cannot do anything! Thank you for sharing your journey! May God bless each of us with the strength and wisdom we need to focus on His will for our lives so that we can live our best lives! 💞✝️💞
I loved reading your comment. Another teacher that gets what I was doing. So fun! Changing what you do is such a journey, isn’t it - especially when you’ve been an overachiever, right? I’m glad I’m finally doing it. I guess it was about time. So glad you’re here.
I was just thinking about the “overachieving” aspect of all this angst. I wonder if overachievers struggle more than other individuals with this particular issue.
@laureldreinking I wouldn’t be surprised if this is true. I am certainly someone who has driven myself very hard. One of my biggest tasks now is to calm myself down. I used to teach Junior high and I remember so clearly when one of my students had a melt down because she got an A-. She was so upset - more upset than I would have been - that it always stuck with me. I felt so sorry for her. It was a good lesson for me that I am still trying to learn. Getting Fibromyalgia which makes me stop and wait on bad days is a school master. Today is one of those stop-and-wait days. Can’t help it. Trying not to struggle against it. I’ll just make myself worse if I don’t stay still today, but the desire to keep being productive is real.
LOL. This is the first time I have watch your channel, so let me introduce myself. I am either a DNA cousin or you were cloned from me. I am 75. I finally gave up perfectionism about 10-15 years ago. I am actually a very organized person, but 10 lbs of stuff into a 5 lbs bag doesn’t get organized. I had surgery and other health problems the last 3 years which meant I haven’t even put things where they belong during that time. Last week, I put on Hoarders (I am a craft and art supply hoarder) for inspiration and started in the garage. It took 3 tough days because I live in Florida and had to work in 20 minute spurts because of the heat. The load off my back was awesome! Today, I’m doing the master bath cabinets using to pretty inexpensive under cabinet organizers bought on Amazon! It’s wonderful. Donating to our Hospice resale shop takes the sting out of getting rid of things I “wasted” money on. Hanging onto them wouldn’t get the money back. Thank you for this video! It added more pleasure in getting too much stuff out of my life! ❤ Shirley
Hi Shirley! It's great to meet you today. Since you are older (I'm 66), I must have been cloned from you. Ha! Health problems really do put a crimp in the plans, don't you? What a good teacher they are. Oh man... you should SEE my garage. It would scare a cat. (Actually, you will see it as soon as I can get my foot better. I've got a video planned.) Florida is hot! We lived in Biloxi, MS twice - both times in the summer - and I nearly friend. Sunstroke going to the mailbox. I can't imagine cleaning a garage in the heat. But it has to feel so good. I'm really looking forward to getting mine straightened out. It's so embarrassing at the moment. You're right about donating. And it makes it so much easier. Hope you have a great weekend!
I love to watch hoarders for inspiration! Obviously, most of us don’t suffer from such extreme cases, but I think we can all identify with little bits and pieces of their disordered thinking.😂 I love it when I grab a hold of one of those thoughts and go throw something away or donate something that seemed important before I watched the show! I agree that donating things takes the sting out of decluttering ❤. A phrase from a story in a Flylady newsletter sticks in my head, the phrase “bless the world!” It puts a whole new spin on donating. I’m all sympathy with the heat in Florida, all the way from Southeast Texas. I know exactly what you mean by short spurts of work in the garage.🥵
I am only 3/4 of the way through your video so far and it’s got to be a God thing that I came across you. Everything you describe about doing too much and not being able to do something halfway and just all the main points you made are the very things that stopped me and I’m always in a state of overwhelmed. I have two rooms in my house that are a pit and I just can’t confront them but after listening to this video I think I can. Thanks so much.
Wow, thank you! I agree with you that it was a “God thing” I am so happy to hear that my video has made you feel that you can work on those rooms. Thank you so much for telling me. It’s very encouraging.
TY for sharing how this book impacted you in practical way. Be encouraged... You're relatable and relevant. May the Lord bless you for sharing what He is teaching you.
HI there! It is always a pleasure hanging out with you. You share so many good points and wisdom. You gained so much freedom from letting those cabinets go to a new home. 😍 I hope you have a wonderful weekend. XO
It's easy to hold ourselves to 'too high' of a standard, missing the fundamental reality in front of us. One of the most useful thing I heard about de-cluttering is to ask myself what do I want to keep, instead of what do I want to get rid of.......I've been a perfectionist for a good part of my life (a futile endeavor)..I eventually realized perfectionism is counter-productive but hard to undo..one day at a weight watchers meeting a woman got up, lauding her grandmother who taught her this: Good, better, best, NEVER let it rest, until your good is better and your better is best. It was at that moment in time I realized why I was a perfectionist and what a heavy burden it is..as a child, daddy would look at my report card and say "honey, that B is good but why isn't is an A?"...that was the root of my problem. It's amazing how one moment in time can open our eyes to things that have weighed us down our whole life. My brother uses the phrase 'perfectionism is the enemy of good". It helps me to remember that.
I absolutely could have written this. I wonder if it’s a generational thing. I had an almost identical conversation about a grade I got in 7th grade with my mother. When I was in my first semester of college, I broke down in front of a professor because I got a B+ on an exam. He sent me to the student counselor center and the therapist and I worked through some I realistic idea about that and that I needed to somehow be as perfect as one of my perfect siblings who got straight A’s. Crazy. So that thinking looms large. I’ve come a long way in straightening that out.
I have been a carpenter 40 plus years. I have always been a perfectionist. Any criticism or praise i got was taken to heart and applied to my next project. I have accumulated so many "instructions" on how to do something that I do every project with "the committee in my head" guiding my work. I have worked mostly for women. They call me their magic wand. I am going insane. It is a curse in so many ways. I have just now thown up my hands in disgust. I want to do NOTHING. Your video is instrumental in making me realize this. Thank you.
Adlerian psychology states that it is not your ‘task’ to make people like you. You can’t control other people. You can hope they like you. Your work task should be meaningful and satisfying to you.
Hi Rozanne, is it? I can so relate to you. That is why I really love your channel. We can tell how nice a person you are by your demeanour. I just love you being yourself. No pressure from me! It's nice knowing I'm not alone as you say what I'm thinking. Have a blessed day from Ireland.🇮🇪😁
I have never seen any of your videos, ever, this is my first introduction to your channel, randomly suggested by the algorithm, and it's FANTASTIC!!! THANK YOU!
Doing too much due to perfectionistic tendencies/fear of failure or extreme feelings of responsibility (wanting to always put in our 100%) -- as well as being concerned about what people think, a.k.a. people pleasing -- this can have roots in childhood. As the eldest, I very much had all these traits. I tried to make sure everyone in the family was ok and this entailed trying to anticipate how they would react, or take into account what I thought they were thinking. As an adult I have been trying to overcome the "good girl" syndrome -- trying to always be the "good girl" and do everything perfectly to stay out of trouble, as well as to avoid disappointing my parents -- because it is so tiring and caused me to put everyone else first ahead of myself. I realised I subconsciously considered myself less important and didn't know how to love myself.
Oh gosh... the "good girl" syndrome. I totally relate to that. I had a long period of working through that and still, even today, i catch myself "mind reading" what other people may be thinking about me. But I'm getting much better at it. What I had to do was start standing up for myself with my mother. That was so hard to do, because I loved her and respected her. But I had to get out from under her control (without losing myself and the good values she had taught me). I completely get what you've said here.
I really appreciate the reminder to choose the most important thing first. I mostly do this. But some days... Thanks for this and the suggestion of that book! ❤
Just discovered your channel and subscribed. I can relate to you so much and what you are saying. I am in my mid-fifties and in a slightly different stage of life than you are, but I can relate to the mental struggle you talk about, trying to get rid of all the static in life -that extra stuff (mental and physical) that weighs you down and makes life seem confusing. Also I am an overachiever like you are when it comes to everything -in graduate school, in my career, with my family. It's exhausting and this tendency has really impacted my health through the years because I have simply exhausted myself trying to make all my projects and work tasks perfect for myself and others. I grew up kinda on the poor side and my parents were both frugal and thrifty. Both sides of my family were builders, mechanics, and could make and do almost anything given two boards, some wire, a bit of string, and a wad of gum. We didn't have extra money growing up but being builders, welders, mechanics, you could figure out how to build or design something that worked. Stuff from the store was a luxury so of-course you saved everything. It is a tendency I have been trying to overcome for years by mentally telling myself that I have plenty of what I need. It helps me let go of things. About 15 years ago my two kids were in middle school and my husband and I decided to try to adopt some children from a foreign country. We knew that international adoption was going to take several years and a bit of money. My husband's company encourages adoption and even has a special program that reimburses employees for adoption costs (up to $40,000). This seemed like a win-win opportunity for us. We found 4 young children (siblings) that we hoped to adopt and bring to the United States. God had other plans. What we didn't know at the time was that we were about to be scammed by both the adoption agency in the United States that was helping us with adoption paperwork and the overseas adoption department of the foreign country. There was a bribery scheme going on and illegal activity happening at our adoption agency. We didn't know this and so blindly moved forward believing everything we were being told. Our adoption agency had a good reputation and had been in business 25 years. We thought we could trust them. The adoption process dragged on for years. In the end it would be nearly 10 years of false starts, detours, redoing adoption paperwork over and over again when our current adoption paperwork expired. We had to fix certain parts of our house to meet state regulations, then there was furniture and children's items purchased (toys, bedding, etc) because pictures must be sent to the orphanage and to the foreign country's adoption department. Getting multiple home studies completed was also expensive. After 10 years of dead ends, we realized that our biological kids were now in college. We were entering a new stage of life (empty-nesters) and by this time we had spent about $100,000. It was obvious this adoption was not going to take place. Because our adoption was not successful my husband's company was not going to reimburse our costs. No kids, no reimbursement. We had not gone in debt during the adoption process but it felt like our lives for 10 years had been focused on wasted effort. I kept thinking that we could have spent all that money on so many other things. We spent about $1,000 every month toward this adoption process and we didn't have anything to show for it. I guess I write out this story to simply say that after spending $100,000 over 10 years on a failed international adoption, I don't worry about how much I spend anymore. I am still a thrifty person but "losing" that much money really changed me. It somehow broke my guilt meter and now I am willing to focus much more on enjoying my life and giving myself the things I want and need. Your video really speaks to the idea of having a mental plan (essentialism) that brings a sense of peace when your needs change. Thank you for such an outstanding video. I'm glad you were able to give up your office cabinets (that big investment) and eventually not feel guilty about it (the supposed wasted money you invested). Life feels good on the other side.
Hi Crystal. This has to be one of the most fascinating - and heart breaking - stories I’ve ever heard. I am so touched that after all of that, you are making the best of it and moving forward. Our oldest two boys are adopted and it was quite a deal to get the money to adopt the second one, but it was nothing like you experienced. Not even close. You were so brave to keep going and trying and come out of the other end wiser and still happy. So many people wouldn’t have. I am so glad to have met you. Thank you so much for giving me a chance to hear your story! It means a lot to me that you did.
Another great video!! I am decluttering myself. After living in my home for almost 25 years. I raised my kids here so I have saved so much stuff. I also purchased really nice furniture that just feel heavy and dark now. Seeing you clear out your office was inspiring. I mean really. There is a whole new chapter that we can create in our homes. gardening has shown me this. Adding new flowers and even a fairy garden has brought out my inner child. So I will follow your lead and let go of some of the furniture weighing me down. Thank you for your help!! ❤
What a great video! You gave me a lot to think about, especially "Stop forcing a fit". I do need to reevaluate where my time and effort are used. My season of life has changed, but I am doing things the same way I did in past seasons. Then I wonder why I'm frustrated. Thanks so much!
I know just what you mean. I struggle with that too. I guess I’m still in the learning phase. You think you’ll always be able to do certain things until you can’t.
Wow I really love this idea! It made me think about relationships too. Some that don't work anymore and important ones I don't make time for like I wish. I stopped half way and called my brother! I know your soul feels lighter blessing someone and releasing those cabinets off your back.
Makes total sense. Decision fatigue is a real thing. It always stymies me. I like the Slow Approach. I am going to try that, and maybe I will actually get some things done.
I agree! I’m working on coming up with some easier way to doing things that will ultimately result in me having to make some ongoing decisions, because I tend to blank out when there are so many. I’m using his next book, Effortless, to guide me. I’m planning on sharing what I learn with you guys! Crossing my fingers that it works, because I need it. But first, I had to decide what is essential. Essentialism is really helping me with that part. So glad to meet you!
Thank you. This is really helpful for me at this point in time. I resent fixed schedules so I do household tasks when I notice that they need to be done. I'm 78 with a few health challenges so life has to be at a slower pace for me. My home isn't always as clean as I might like, but it is what it is. Anyone who is bothered by that can just not visit.
You may be a thinker, an analyzer. You may look at something every which way it can be looked at before you make a decision based on your values. And even then there is the post decision phase to ponder. We can drive ourselves crazy constantly thinking about our thoughts and actions. I know this because I am one.
That sounds right - only it’s not consistent across everything type of decision. I wish I was like that when it came to eating and buying decisions. I’m too impulsive there. I mostly am one of those philosopher types that is always thinking about and trying to live a better life. I enjoy studying the topic and trying to make positive changes. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes not. But I keep trying. I’ve always thought about deep topics - even as a child. I was a weird kid. Ha.
This is the 1st of your videos I've come across. How I needed to hear this, it's like you're talking about me. I laughed when you said your mom asked you why you can't ever do anything 1/2 way, my dad used to tell me, never do anything 1/2 way! I always make things a bigger project than it has to be and it is so hard for me change that. I've developed a terrible way of coping: If I'm not going to be able to do it in the way or time I think I should be able to, then I put it off... I tend to way over think things then I become paralyzed. Thank you for sharing!
Hi Lorelyn! I’m so very glad to meet you. How fun that you’ve had the same experience. Do you know Anne of Green Gables? If you do, you’ll understand that I immediately felt that we must be kindred spirits. 😀 I’m really working to get out that mindset set of always thinking I need to do too much and too perfectly or I can’t even start. It’s a challenge to accept 1/2 way or “good enough” but studying and trying is helping me. What I’m doing on my channel now (I changed it the first of the year) is sharing my journey and what I’m learning, hoping it will help others. I try things and let you all watch. It was a good decision because I feel that I’m making progress and that means I’m have to stop worrying about so much. Just go with the flow. Stop what I’m doing and listen and talk to the 6-year old when she wants to tell me something. (2 of my grandchildren live with us.). It’s such a change of thinking. Sorry I’ve rattled on here, but I feel you’ll understand what I mean. I hope you have a great day!
Awe, thank you. Unrealistic expectations and inconsistent energy levels also plague me. I, too, have had times my adult child and her kids have needed space, it is hard to get back in your groove after their life is settled and you get your space back. I have been trying for three years. I like your attitude here and helps take the pressure off.
I’m starting to think we might not be empty nesters. It’s an adjustment, but life sure is different than it used to be. I am looking forward to fixing up that room. Some of the work will have to wait until we get our mom’s house sold so I can pay for it, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. 😀
Me too! I bought it 4-5 years ago and bring out for summer. It’s so cheery. When it starts to cool down, I put it away until the next year. Getting it out is a signal to everyone that I believe spring has actually arrived (because it has to be warm enough for me to use it.)
You wonder why we subscribe... this is the first of your videos I've ever seen and what you said resonated with me. Because I enjoyed what I watched and because you were clear and interesting, I kept watching. in the end I figured I realy liked watching and I wouldn't mind seing more. Now, if I unsubscribe, it's likely because watching RU-vid videos is taking up too much of my time and I'm cuting back or because the next videos are something I can't relate to... or because I have gone on to a differnt stage in my life where I'm loking for something completely different - not always something that the content creator did or didn't do. I'm hopeful that I love every one of your videos to eternity... but if I don't, I think you're a pretty interesting person and in this moment, you said exactly what I needed to hear to get me off the couch and tackling some of the essentials while I let go of some of the guilt-creators that I keep on the to-do list. Thanks!!
This video helped me understand why I am having trouble with decluttering before I move you see we have yet to find a house and I keep thinking what if I will need this item in my new house! Now I will stay in this moment and either keep it or let it go. When we do move I will at that time go purchase what I need. I hope I have correctly understood the information from your video. I thank you and by the way your bedspread is beautiful!
Thanks, first time watching your videos . I lost my hubby a few weeks ago so I definitely need to rethink our home. By the way, love your bedspread, lolol.see you later.
Hi! It’s so nice to meet you. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. What a loss and adjustment that will be for you. Thanks about the bedspread. I bought it 4-5 years ago and behind it put every summer. It’s very cheery.
Thank you for this. The way you did things in the past (you described as “overdoing” things) is exactly what I did all my life to the point of exhaustion. But recently, as my bones are aging, I am forced to accept that I can’t function the way I was carrying on. Now, everyday, I start with a cheerful “5 spoons of good energy “. I also tell my family that making me upset takes 2 spoons away. The 3 spoons that’s left is only good for perhaps laundry, dishes and perhaps making lunch. And if by 3 PM, I feel I have no more “spoons” left (exhausted). I stop doing chores. I nap or just rest. The pots and pans can wait for tomorrow. Most of the time, one’s body will force you to recognize that you’re not made of endless vigor through illness. It’s not easy initially to let go of your “ideal cleanliness” but you have to close your eyes as you pass by your children’s rooms. Thank you for a thoughtful and thorough explanation of a wonderful book. It’s very important that we don’t forget ourselves in the equation. We cannot give what we don’t have.☺️
So true. We can’t forget ourselves. If we do, we aren’t good for anyone else. I’ve heard of the spoons method. Thanks for the explanation. I use the DOT method. I just made a video explaining it. The goal is pretty much the same: learning to recognize when you need to stop and rest. Pushing through when you’re tired is harmful. So nice to talk to you!
Thanks for this video. I have some of the same thoughts that you mentioned. I need to aim for good enough sometimes instead of excellence in things that don't really require it. Just listening to you helped my mind start realizing what should be a priority today, and which things can be kicked down the road in wisdom and which things I need to go do "well enough" to get them off my to-do list. Thank you.
This video has spoken volumes to me. Especially about doing too much because of what others think. Especially with clutter. However, currently, I'm focusing on myself, getting through grief, getting through clutter and organizing and declutter a lot more. Decluttering is helping me a lot. I'm becoming more of an essentialist. I'm currently decluttering the very best that I'm able to but to make things more functional. My goal is to do something similar to the Swedish Death cleaning. I do not want to leave clutter to our kids. Therefore, I'm going through things, tossing things, etc. Putting my mind into: "What will the kids do with this? Will they want it or need it? Who else will I give it to?" If I can't answer those questions, it's gone. Trash, donate, sell, give to a shelter or homeless community, non-profitable thrift stores, etc. There's so many folks out there that do need things. So, I try my best to give to others what I can't use if they can use them, that's better for me. Or put the stuff to the curb with a free sign. I did it once before a few years ago and I'm going to do it again. Also, read Laura Vanderkam's book 168 Hours, You Have more Time than you think. It's done wonders for me but I'm redoing things due to life circumstances that have arrised throughout the years. Big huge hugs because I for one felt this video 10000%.
This is my first video of yours that I've watched. On one level it sounds like you are just talking about your life, but I can relate to EVERYTHING you are saying. You are talking about me and my life. It feels good to see your progress and to know I am not so different. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I'm going to use this information.
Hi Cari! Welcome! It’s neat to meet someone that relates to what I’m saying. It kind of makes the whole thing worth it to know it, so thank you so much for telling me!
That sounds like me! I just went through my Kindle library again to see if I could find any more interesting books to talk about and was surprised at how many I had that I had completely forgotten about.
Hello Great video. With Fibromyalgia I’ve had to learn to only do what I can. The problem is I always get mad at myself for not getting things done. I think my family will think I’m lazy because I have not done that yet. They don’t understand Fibromyalgia at all. I have to tell myself if they want it done faster they can do it. God Bless You. Thanks for the great video’s you’re doing.
Oh wow… I could have written this. Fibromyalgia really changes your life, doesn’t it? I can see such a “before” and “after” in my experience. Wonderful to hear from you!
My Doctor said fibromyalgia doesn't progress. Boy was he wrong. I'm now in the process of digging out of 20 yrs of being in our home. It's practically impossible to see myself getting through the downsizing. It's going so slow. Additionally, my spouse is disabled and I'm overwhelmed.
I've barely cleaned at all this year. I have a little money set aside to hire a one-time cleaner, but am too embarrassed for someone to see my place. I struggle with fibro & depression.
This has been very much a source of angst and frustration in my life lately and I live a much smaller life so you'd think it'd be easier to fix. It's not. I have literally been praying for help with my "chasing my tail" existence. Thank you for introducing this approach; it feels like it might be the window I was needing. Having said that, I have to say that I scrolled forward to the last third of your video because I couldn't relate to the minutia of your particular circumstances that were being over-generously elaborated upon. It felt exhausting to me. Glad I did. The last part made a lot of sense. Thank you.
You just unlocked something in my brain! Thank you! I’m always trying to make things fit when I just want to scrap it. Thank you for making this video! I’m also a teacher.
Found your video thanks to the algorithm! I'd been decluttering for 3 days and was going back and forth about the exercise bike I'd invested in, but which had now been a clothes horse for 6 months. Seeing you shed your cabinets gave me the push I didn't know I needed and a charity collected the bike today. I then took some other more sentimental bits I really had no space for, and donated them too. Thank you for sharing your insights. I feel a great lightness already and have finally been able to make space for an armchair... something I'd been wanting for 2 years but couldn't fit in my room. Sending appreciation from Sunny England 😊
So glad you found it! And good for you for donating those things. Exercise bikes do tend to get in the way. I’ve had (and given away) a couple of them over the years. 😅 I have so much left to do here but it does feel so good to have the cabinets gone. One step at a time… All of my ancestors come from England. Spending a month in the English countryside is my dream vacation. It probably won’t happen but I do love to watch English programs and wish!
@@TowardsASimpleLife Don't worry, the countryside will always be here waiting for you 🙂 I loved the view of hills outside your home, btw. Or were they mountains? How wonderful to be able to see them every day 🥰
First time watching you, and just so glad I found you. I can relate to so many things you said today, and plan on taking them to heart. Thank you…..looking forward to more of your videos. 🥰
What most people call multi tasking is task switching. It create compartmentalization in the brain which equals incoherence and chaos. Joe Dispenza talks about this in his books. Useful stuff definitely worth looking into ❤❤
You know I hadn’t thought about that dichotomy… My mom, dad & both sets of grandparents lived through the depression and never wasted anything. And yet, their small homes were neat & tidy. Not that many clothes, not that much decorative stuff. My mom & dad shared a small walk in closet with her clothes, shoes, and bags on one side and his clothes, shoes, and shoeshine kit, on the other. I think some non-clothing items were stored on the shelf above & floor below each of their hanging clothes rods. Their chest of drawers had a couple of drawers that held their socks, handkerchiefs, underwear & hosiery, and a couple of big deep drawers that held family photos, letters and keepsakes. A shallow drawer above the others held our household scissors, magnifying glass, lined writing pad, pens, and ???
This is pretty much what I experienced to,s only my Mom and Dad had more than my grandparents, because things after World Ward II got better from them. But you could be describing my grandparents' homes!
Thank you so much for this video! Live YOUR truth and those that resonate will come along for the ride. ❤ People need certain things at certain times, but it's not our fault if they leave our lives.
You're so welcome. It has taken me quite a bit of time, but I've finally come to that. I can't be everything to everyone, and it's a waste of emotional and physical effort to attempt to. I'm coming to the understanding that all I can do is make a video that feels meaningful to me and then launch it into the world, trusting that it will be found by whomever relates to it. Then I move onto working onto the next video and try to make that one meaningful too. It's so much better than what I used to do.
Hello! I've started reading this book but haven't finished it. I wanted to say that I like how you didn't say "Hell yes!". My husband and I have been trying to find a different way to say that. Definite yes is a pretty good job option. Hopefully I can use some of the pointers that you gave and start to eliminate some things I don't need to do.
Your channel just popped up for me today. I’m hooked! This episode was sooo meaningful to me! It absolutely describes me to a tee. I’m going to watch it several more times to make sure the lesson from it is embedded into my brain! Thank you for the perfect pep-talk FOR ME!
Hi Geri! I’m so glad to meet you! I’m glad you enjoyed the video. It’s one of my favorites and Essentialism is changing my thinking and life. I needed it too!
Thank you for posting this. I was captivated all the way through. A lot of times i feel the need to make lists and finish the tasks on them before i let myself have any fun on my days off. A lot of these chores dont need to be done so frequently, more as-needed than scheduled. Youve given me a lot to think about, to give myself permission to make the most of my free time.
Thank you so much for your transparency and honestly and spelling out your thinking. It was so relatable and I love this video. I’m going to rewatch it and try to implement some of these tips. This is just what I needed to hear the Lord is using you. Thank you so much.
Thank you for being so kind to me by telling me this. It means so much and you are helping answer my own prayers. I just want to be useful and it means a lot to know that I’ve helped you some. Hope you have a great evening!
I do not know how I ended up watching your video today; however, similarly to your recognition that God led you to re-read that book, I believe God led me to your RU-vid channel. My prayer to God every day over the last five years has been. “HELP!” The plea is mostly about all that I need to do or think I need to do and my physical inability to do it all. My husband and I have all the material things we need, but we still need to watch our pennies. So I struggle with giving away versus selling things I no longer use. Selling is very time-consuming and sometimes stress-inducing. Nevertheless, I want to be a good steward. I realize time is money, so I should be able to give away a lot of what I have accumulated, but the “Waste not, Want not” mindset remains strong.
I’m so glad you’re here, Laurel! I relate to so much of what you have said including the continual plea, “help!” A big answer I received was that I needed to change my channel (and my life) to focus on simplifying, slowing, appreciating, and to quit trying to be and do more than I am able. It’s an interesting journey. I know what you mean about selling being stress-inducing. I have two relatively new lamps in my garage that I should list on Facebook marketplace. I should. I have the photos. But there is something that makes it feel hard. On the other hand, taking them to the thrift store with one of my decluttering loads will be easy. So I could make about $20 or I could donate them and the thrift store (which does MUCH good with the money they bring in) could have them. What is better? Somedays I’m not entirely sure. Lately I have been opting for easy.
Everything about this video, and the Greg McKeown book, resonates with me. I'm chronically ill (sometimes can't raise out of my seat, often have brain fog, and my energy is measured in "spoons"), and I have a VERY busy family. I'm still the go-to girl for people's problems here in this house. I still haven't dealt with the pre-illness level of projects (crafts, etc.) vs. the now-level of ability to do that many things. I'm trying to set boundaries (with the help of a therapist), so that the chaos and my inclination of taking on everyone's requests doesn't crush me. Right this minute, I'm sitting at my computer desk, with my craft room organization (yet to be put in place) staring at me, and having no energy to make it happen. I just need to buy this book.
It sure does sound like we have a lot in common. It’s so up and down with me. I appreciate the good times and have learned to kick back and wait out the bad times because pacing is everything. If I try to push through bad days and overdo it, then the bad spell lasts longer. When I was going through Long Covid, I had a time when I seriously overdid it and then it took about 6-7 weeks for me to even get dressed on a regular basis. I was so sick. My Cognitive Therapist helped a lot and I learned that I have to just stop when I feel fatigue and not let anyone or anything pressure me to carry on. It’s not worth it! I have Fibromyalgia. I came down with it in 1989. It makes life “interesting” and it made the Long Covid worse. After I took Paxlovid during my last bout of the Big C, it seemed to help. I still have Fibro and brain fog, etc., but overall the whole experience taught me skills in how to manage the situation better. I have so many craft projects I probably won’t ever do. I need to be brave and just declutter them and keep ones that I might get to someone soon.
love how you teach about the book and give us the key findings 😊🤗 you are really talented. Would like if you could do this again with another book Greetings from Norway 😘💕
@@TowardsASimpleLife I also read his book small habits for weight loss. I love his concept. I have been able to get myself to exercise with the goal of just 5 minutes a day. Most of the time I do more but that’s my base and am more consistent than I’ve been in year from that small habit change ☺️
Be authentic just like you are in this video you will get the right people subscribed! New subscriber here! Thanks for the valuable insights. I did the essentialism idea yesterday. I prayed to God to show me what to work on. I wanted to clean my basement, power wash my house, go through paperwork, clean dining room and my rooms, list goes on!!! (I am overly ambitious and I over work myself into terrible fatigue... But I get a LOT done in a day) So I was shown to power wash my old car so I could sell it as that would help me the most. I power washed 3 cars (old one to sell, my boyfriend's since it was Father's Day, and my current car) and did laundry dishes etc but also got to enjoy the weather and putt putt and I felt accomplished because I did the ESSENTIAL thing for the day(preparing my old car for sale)
Thanks - and you’re welcome! I’m glad you’re here. 😀 It sounds like you got a lot done. Power washing is fun, especially on a warm/hot day. Sounds like you made a good choice!
@@TowardsASimpleLife Thank you! I really think I made the right choice too and it did feel really good to power wash! So satisfying to see all the dirt fly off lol. I definitely got a lot done 😄 I find if I do the essential thing, I do get a lot done even mentally. I still had time to rest and watch dragon Ball z lol
Great info with a dynamic video title - got my attention. Didn't know anything about this channel until it came through my feed today. I totally identify with the word ESSENTIALISM! Instead of minimalism, essentialism is a much better descriptor. Thank you for your honesty, vulnerability and sharing your journey. Subscribed and looking forward to more content!
Your video spoke volumes to me. I’ve been in a transition since my partner’s passing two years ago. I made a shrine to him, and I feel it’s time to put those mementos away in a box for his son. I still have photos of him in my home as a sweet reminder. Such a great question-What is valuable to me? For me, it’s my relationships with family and friends, and my home as a welcoming and calm space.
Seeing your channel and this video today for the first time & finding it so appropriate for me right now! And yes, RU-vid has brought up a decluttering video of yours next, so will check it out. Thank you for sharing!
Yes, buffer! I do that all the time now. Often I put a time limit on how long something should be done. No good. I buffer everything now. And it's okay.
It’s such a good idea and makes such sense. A lot of my stress has come from thinking I have to get X done by Y. But who says so? Me? Learning about buffering is really helping me relax about timing. You’re right that it really isn’t a good idea to set time limits!
just subscribed liked and shared because I want to simplify my life, I like the list idea, write down everything vying for my attention and cross off what's not essential.
So glad to meet you! I’m glad it was helpful to you. I have Fibromyalgia too and am always looking for ways to simplifying and managing my energy better so I have a better quality of life. I’m kind of documenting what I’m learning as I go along. I’m working on a video for next Friday that has some of my favorite methods - they’ve been a great help. I can’t wait to share it. Hope you have a wonderful week!
Thank you ❤, you did a really good job of explaining essentialism. I needed this lesson, i took notes, and now it's time for action. I have the book, but you helped me to understand in a better way 😊
I enjoyed Rewatching this. And yet somehow, despite watching more than one of your videos today, I found myself talking to the saran wrap tonight like a very whiny child, because it kept sticking together like it always does. Then I chuckled. I realized that was one of my signs that I’m just too tired. I have been cooking for people who eat differently than we do, and there was so much to clean up tonight. Not like they didn’t offer to help but my husband really wanted to share a particular movie with them and I wanted him to enjoy that. But I overdid it.… And started whining at the saran wrap. 😂😂😂😂 “ just STOP it! Why can’t you just do what you’re supposed to do??!“ 😂. I guess I get a little dramatic😂
found you be accident.. a happy accident.. and what you described is exactly how i am feeling. cant wait to get Greg's book... his name is pronounced Mick-Que-in ( it was my maiden name) thanks for sharing this information... soo glad I found you
So glad you’re here, Amanda! I needed you here when I was recording the video so I could have said that right. 😀 It’s a great book. I think you’re going to love it.
@@TowardsASimpleLife about half way thru the book.. WOW eye opening... thanks for posting your video. ordered the book that day... so glad for happy accidents!
@amanda-dawnpeckham3189 so neat that you got it and love it. It’s a book that I’m keeping near and will continue to look at it. It’s giving a lot of courage to make some decisions I’m been putting off.
The act of cleaning and decluttering is not valuable to me, artistic expression is. Its better for my psyche to create something than have a showplace house. Its good to declare you are an adult, do what you want, and realize you don't need affirmation from others.
