Understanding Alcoholism, Addiction and Recovery 

I stopped going to meetings little over a year ago, shortly after my daughter was left a voiceless quadriplegic from a DUI driver. After watching your entire video, I'm going back tomorrow. It's been a miserable, dry year. Realized will care for her much better if I care for myself first. So thank you, dear Julie. Your video made me see the light again. A million thanks! ❤❤❤

My biological father died of esophageal cancer brought about by alcoholism. He was 49. I was adopted by a woman who never drank. Oddly, I’m allergic to alcohol so I can’t drink any amount. I consider this a blessing. I’m so happy you are free of alcohol Julie.

Congratulations! Lord willing and the creek don’t rise, I will celebrate 20 years of being alcohol free on February 13. It is certainly a journey, and one I wouldn’t trade. God is so good!

My mom was a nurse and also an alcoholic, and sadly was never able to get sober until her life was seriously compromised past the point of no return. She passed away 18 years ago. I know how hard it is. You have my total respect for taking control of your life.

6 years sober here. I am a nurse also and alcohol was a way to keep my anxiety in check. Slowly around 60 yrs old , Alcohol did not work anymore for me anymore. I was always functoning , being a wife , mother and nurse , I functioned until my panik attacts gut out of controll. I finally ask God to help me , and a week later my church opened a recovery program I was the first woman there. The 12 steps helped my me to identify why I drank. Now in my 70th I am free and live my best life every. Julie , thank you for your transparency . Your addiction / recovery make you a better nurse. Understanding the powerlessness toward substances , enable you to understand powerlessness in illness. Sending hugs.❤

I have been clean and sober for 37 years

Finally! I’ve been trying to piece together what happened with my son. He passed away 8 months ago from alcoholism having been estranged from us for 2+ years. He lived in isolation with his wife - we didn’t know why. We’ve learned he had quit drinking 42 days before he died and had gone to a dr who informed him he’d need a liver transplant. We were allowed by his wife to see him for one hour - he was already intubated and his eyes were taped closed - was awful for us but I think he knew we were there - I cannot thank you enough for this . He must have been in such pain - as his mother I weep because he had no help. He didn’t want us to know but this has been tremendously helpful ❤

Those of us who now physically adjusted to an alcohol free status still have the emotions which may have added to the excuses to drink. So, once we have agreed not to drink alcohol and have truly eliminated this in our lives; the problems might remain. Most certainly we are more capable to handle these issues when not affected by drink, but be sure; they still remain and must be answered in some way. We can rationalize, avoid and blame but until you clear your baggage your happiness will be restricted.

Wow Julie! As a disabled RN, I always watch your show and admire your work. I have a few years of home health under my belt, but I always wanted to try Hospice work. My admiration for you, your work and content has just reached a whole new level. The fact that you shared this with the world is just so brave, and a wonderful thing to do! Your story hits so close to home for me. I was the wife of an alcoholic and drug addicted man. I left him in 2011, but it wasn’t soon enough. Everything you said, he said to me as well. He stole money, jewelry and so much more from our family. He moved out of state a year after I left him. Sadly, he died 3 years ago from sepsis (IV use) and pneumonia. Our daughters are still grieving over him. So my point is that alcohol and drugs touch so many other lives, not just the addicts. Congratulations on your sobriety Julie! I’m so very proud of you. Please continue talking about it too. I know it will touch so many hearts! 💕💕💕

Congratulations Julie! I’m going through my brother living with me and being on hospice… Twice in last 2 weeks my daughter has been hospitalized to detox… she is 36… been doing this for 15 years and it’s so hard. She is trashing her life… watching you gives me hope! You are amazing… helping in both situations. Omg it’s exhausting!

I can relate to Julie, I lived for doing drugs period. I o.d. like 3 times and still didn't stop. Drugs ran my life. I would go to meetings and go to the bathroom and do what drug I was doing. Now I'm sober did it on my own. I will never go back using ever. I have been clean for Many many years. Thank you Julie for sharing your stories and all your videos.❤

I related to Julie so much. I was so young when I started excessively worrying about my mother’s health. I was alao extremely shy to the point of panic if I had to do so much as order food, God forbid speak in front of the class. I found alcohol at 13 also and it changed my in to an extroverted wild child. Drugs soon followed and there was no stopping me at that point. Decades later with more horror stories than I care to count I am a licensed therapist. I spent over 10 years as the therapist for mental health court and drug court trying to use my education and experience to help people identify they really can change their life….. with a lot of hard work on themselves. I’m a trauma specialist at this point in my career and my history continues to be a driving force to help people find their peace. Julie is so correct you have to care for yourself to care for others. Caring for my mental health, setting firm boundaries with employers, coworkers, friends/family and, most importantly, myself, is paramount in maintaining my recovery and my sanity!

Thank you for sharing your story. My brother died in June of 2023 he was 59 years old. He died because he was an alcoholic and was in and out of rehab and he couldn't do it. I wish my family and I could have helped more. I am thankful that I can see into your journey to being sober. Thank you again for sharing it has help me.

Congratulations on your sobriety. Something was missing, and I think you have found it, helping others. I was a functioning alcoholic for 30 years. Fights, jail, divorces, blackouts, and endless regret did not stop me. Job forced my rehab, and it took me a week to discover what everyone else knew. The Big book listed 2 signs #1 when I started, I could not stop, and #2 I tried to quit hundreds of times, and I swore by everything that I meant it. Yet I went back. In time I could not feel good emotions unless I drank. I actually have had the moment searching like a maniac, like Jack Lemon in Days of Wine and Roses. Mine was in the attic.

Great testimony Julie congratulations on being sober and living life and for being a hospice nurse I’m going to be hospice chaplain. I’m a hospital chaplain now at 29 years sober It’s good to here you and your struggles but the joy in the change of your life through aa

That is exactly how Paramedicine is. We are worked to death and 12 hours turn to 14 hours. We have no breaks and we are extremely busy all the time. I have to put my foot down a lot bc leadership will push you to the limit and take advantage of you. If you don’t take care and stick your for yourself, then no one will bc they care about the bodies to do the job and not about me as an individual. I am a Paramedic and have been in the EMS field for 10 years. It’s extremely stressful and we see a lot. Emotional and mental exhaustion, but absolutely loving what you do.

OCD, metal health issues of all manner, and their relationship to addiction are so, SO very misunderstood. I have frequent conversations with someone very important to me that go something like this: “Spend every cent you can on a qualified therapist, and NOT on drugs or alcohol”. Bless you, and all those who struggle and are misunderstood.

37 years in A.A. Myself. I’ve been watching your hospice film and finding you’re in the program makes my heart happy. Liz from Anderson, I N ❤

I celebrated 20 years in September. After watching your channel, I decided to put my name in for hospice volunteer. Thanks.

Thank you, Julie, for being so real and truthful. Respect is given because you have earned it. Thank you for speaking forth this truth that so many need to hear.

I relate to this so much and it really helped me put my alcoholism into perspective. I was very anxious myself. I had severe social anxiety as a child where I would have panic attacks if someone even approached me. I got into drugs and alcohol when I was in high school and used it as a crutch to socialize and be liked. Now my son who’s in middle school is just like I was, very anxious. We’re going to therapy so he doesn’t go down the same path I did.

Yes, take care of yourself first. My mother died at age 42 from alcoholism and left 3 young children. I was 71/2 years old. It was never going to happen to me. But yes. I have learned so much about myself. I love myself now. Liz from Anderson, IN 37 years

Thank you for sharing your story. I related to EVERY detail (except perhaps for the teeth mishap). The pursuit of oblivion, to quiet the mind and ease the anxiety, on a mission for blackout. It was the solution (that became the problem). Today I'm twelve days sober (well....dry) and feeling so much better already. I can almost feel my brain healing, let alone my liver. I'm optimistic and hearing others share honestly means the world. Knowing I'm not the only one plagued with those destructive thoughts of 'I'm not enough' and 'I'm innately defective' and 'why can't I drink normally like those people' etc etc. Thats what gives me strength....and hope.

Wow, great video! Congratulations on your sobriety!! Just lost my Mom to Alzheimer’s in Oct 2023. It was a difficult journey seeing a completely independent woman lose it all. The last 3 days of her life was horrific watching her and when she passed I had tears of relief. She was on Hospice and everyone was supportive and telling us this was all normal but actually watching your videos made me realize her body was doing what it was supposed to do. Thank-you Julie for that! I am a retired L&D nurse and yes, that feeling you get when life enters this world is amazing!!

3 years sober, and work as an addiction counselor. The link between anxiety and substance use disorders is just finally being understood - it's so important!!!!!!! Your story is so similar to mine and to so many!!!!! Totally going to show this video to my outpatient group! Love your videos ❤

Wow Julie! You have have an incredible sobriety journey. I am so proud of you! I had some trouble hearing that so many Nurses have struggles with substance abuse and the horrible way so many are treated. I consider you all Earth Angels, especially hospice nurses. Thank you for being you and reaching out to educate us. I am terminal (not in hospice yet) and your videos have eased so many of my fears. Now on to educate my family! Many blessings dear one and keep your eyes open for those beautiful spiritual moments that you are seeing ❤

There is something so refreshing about human beings who are authentic and real. Julie, I don’t know you, but I absolutely adore you! You are an exceptional human, I love your hospice work and videos so much… late last year I had a deep knowing I am supposed to be a hospice nurse… at 48😂. Just got accepted into nursing school and I am SO grateful for you and your awesome work and how much energy and light you bring to this world. 🦋

I got my 18 month sobriety anniversary yesterday, with 6.5 years of trying. Our stories are pretty parallel. I’m so grateful to hear your story because we’re now a part of a club that I didn’t want to be a part of, and once I let go of the craving for the alcohol, I’m feeling so much happier and blessed. Now I know I’m not alone and the darkest times I felt so isolated and dangerously depressed. It’s so nice listening for the similarities and this is a family disease. Congratulations! One day at a time, I’m hoping to be of service with my story, as well. ❤🎉

Timing is serendipitous. I got a DWI this week, and am going to my first AA meeting today. I've wanted to stop for so long. This experience might have saved my life. Just not looking forward to the legal repercussions. But I have so much to be thankful for. ❤️

Hi Julie!!! Thank you so much for sharing this part of your story!!! I have seventeen years sober now, all credit due to AA and the Higher Power. The tools I have now from meetings are priceless, as is my sobriety. Keep up the good work, and thank you.xo

Thank you Julie for your video. So many people deal with the pain of grief by drinking and drugs. Sometimes those things that numb the grief end up causing the disease that causes their own death. You stopped that from happening to yourself by getting help. Hospice helped me see that death is a transition to an eternity of life. I also know that life continues in heaven. My own son told me he died, went to heaven and Jesus told him it was not his time. He came back immediately. That was 30 yrs. ago.

Julie you are one of the most amazing people on the planet. I absolutely love end of life but I'm going through it with my husband now. You sharing the story of how you're just a real person made you even more amazing.

I was with my sister when she was dying of cancer. I'd been with her that whole day, watching people come and go to see her. At the end of the night she had this raspy-gurgle breathing. I laid down on the couch next to her and fell asleep. I woke up to her son and his friend coming to say good bye ❤️❤️❤️around midnight or a little later and she had passed away. I couldn't have been asleep very long and then she was gone. Maybe she waited for me to go to sleep... I miss her so much.

3805 Days Clean and Sober 🙏💝 I’m Super Proud of you lady Thank you for sharing your story Truth 🌻 I Always Wanted to be a Hospice Nurse There is Something So Special About it! Love and Many Years Of Sobriety to you.

Nurse Julie, I have more love and respect for you than ever before. Thank You for being such a brutally honest person. I’m amazed . You have inspired me to quit my life long addiction. (I’m not an alcoholic either) . I’m really high functioning also . I am going to retire next year. Sober. ❤U. Happy Thanksgiving 🦃.

Julie, you are telling my story. Wow. Addict nurse here. Now sober. Drank my way through the last semester of nursing school. Thank you for your honesty. Pee the bed, go work Monday. Waiting to buy alcohol at 8 am with the other alcoholics hitting withdrawals, after working 12 hour night shifts. Nursing was so stressful and depressing that I needed substances to wind down enough to get some sleep, and get up for another night shift. I lost my nursing license after multiple DUIs, all related to pandemic. Now in school to be a mental health counselor and hopefully therapist.

Congratulations Julie. I have 14 years of soberiety. You’re doing a great job. 😊

Congratulations lovely lady. You have used your past experiences in such an amaaaazingly worthy worthwhile way. I thank you for that 🥰

Nurse Julie is such a baddie. So cool she spoke of her experience, I could totally relate. Continue doing what you do❤❤✨🙏🏾

Julie- I’ve been watching your content for a while now and I love your outlook and spirit. You’re so sincerely loving what you do and I feel privileged when I get little pieces of your wisdom about death and dying. I’m on the second half of my years and appreciate what you give us all in your messages. If I should end up on hospice, I hope my nurse(s) are as much of a spitfire as you are. You are candid and frank with your sharing and when you say how your families respond to your explanations about their fading family member’s passing that they appreciate you for that, it speaks of your deep compassion and concern that the transition coming is eased some. Knowledge is power and when you add your humanity to a such a sad time, I know you are doing next level work. Dang you’re good girl and I totally agree about good unions! Your are a special person filling this world with your light. ❤🎉❤🎉

Congratulations on your sobriety! Thank you for this discussion. Provides a lot of insight.

Fascinating share of so many subjects. I bet you helped thousands of people by sharing your experiences. We do need to normalize life and death and discuss all our feelings surrounded by them. Boundaries are a must. We can help others by enforcing ours and in return respect the boundaries of others. As a retired nurse I wish all states have a good union especially for nurse to patient ratios and ones who consider acuity of care within these ratios. I commend you. You are doing a great job informing others. May you always strive for personal inner peace.

When I was growing up, both my parents were alcoholics. I also had a sleep disorder & my mother would give me one of her Valiums to help me sleep. I became addicted to them at 5 yrs old & couldn’t sleep w/out them. By the time I was 13 years old, I started drinking (there was always alcohol in our house). My older brother & sister would also drink & sneak out at night. Very long story short, I joined the Navy at 17 years old. I’m retired now & no longer drink or take Valium. I was also functioning every day, but now I realize I function better w/out it. Thank you for sharing your story. We are both sober now, & feeling healthy! Love ❤️ your videos, I watch them all and the time.

I’ve been watching you for about 3 years. After watching this video, I love you even more. Thank you for sharing your story and your experiences. 🤗

Thank you VERY MUCH! I am a nurse in Canada and have been off for a year now while I care for my husband who has Glioblastoma now since Dec 02 2022. I am also a person who struggles with alcohil and rhe feelings you shared about your childhood all make sense to me. I so far mught get to one meeting a month and this is a horrible disease and I will loose him soon. Right frontal lobe!!! Hospice at home now. I moved him feom Victoria BC back to Ontario where we have family. They don't understand how hard this is. The struggle of loosing my husband and best friend bit by bit and the struggle of alcoholism at the same time. Online meetings dont really help me. But Im coping with the help of the resources here for palliative care. Good nurses once a week so far for assessment and respite care for 8 hrs a week so far. But this is very hard. Your videos really help me. I really wanted to go your workshop a couple of months ago maybe next time. Ciao for now from Carla. Thank you.

I completely get what you’re saying about being a nurse. I’m not a nurse but a tech in the emergency room. I know how I feel when I’m at work when I get out. Yes the nurse is responsible for the meds and seeing the patient but we as techs work one on one with the patients. I worked straight through Covid and held many patients hands through their last breaths. It’s a very hard thing to go through.

I'm glad you got it together, Julie. ❤

Julie, I just love you. When you started talking about the anxiety as a child, that was huge part of my story! I just celebrated 2 years. I love your recovery story and I love the work you do as a hospice nurse. You are truly an inspiration!

Julie thank you for being so transparent. This is one of the best open dialogs about addiction I've ever seen or heard. I come from a long line of alcohols. Hell I married one. I was extremely fortunate that the gene passed me, but I have to say I did try my best to become an addict. Your talking about your youth and how young you were when you started to partying could have been a recounting of my story. Fortunately for me, I'm actually allergic to alcohol. However, that didn't stop me from partying, hard. But, when I did, I always paid a very high price for my drinking. I'd vomit the entire next day, sometimes starting that night. I was never the one that could endlessly drink, I also never blacked out, however sometimes I wish I had. Lol. I often wonder if my allergy to alcohol was a very deep inner form of self protection. I'll never know, but growing up around my father and his brothers when they were drinking was terrifying. They were mean and violent. Never to me, but if scared me non the less. Needed to say I never wanted to end up like them. Julie, congratulations on your 7 (almost 8) years of sobriety. That's a huge accomplishment and I know how much work and faith it requires. My husband was sober for 10 years. It destroyed me when he started drinking again. He continued to try, but was only successful for short periods of time. He was such an incredible man and I loved his dearly. It broke my heart that he could never see it himself. My father never did either. The saying that a daughter marries her father was so true for me. My husband was so like my dad. When they were sober, they were such loving, strong, supportive, brilliant men. When drunk, just the opposite. They are both gone now and I hope that they have both found peace and are together. The lack of true understanding of this disease never ceases to amaze me. Even my best friend (of 65 yrs) has often said, "they just need to be strong enough and quit. I just don't get it.". I always say back to her, with love, you're right you don't get it. I've never met a single soul, who's life's desire is to become an addict. God bless you both and again thank you for making such an important video. ❤❤❤❤🤗🤗🤗🤗🙏🙏🙏🙏

Omgosh Julie.. you described my ocd and anxiety to a T!! The sleep thing started with me when it came to my first job.. I worked in nursing home on 1st shift.. I had to be there by 6:30am.. love your channel and I could listen to you for hours …

My Grandfather was from PA….coal miner. He would pick up my little brother’s up from nursery school…when he opened their car door at school, dozens of empty beer cans fell out. In front of nuns no less! I would get calls from police that he was blacked out in the park (back in the day)…..I would pick him up in his car, crapped himself…,NONE of us grandkidddos or my parents drank alcohol. Being embarrassed and never wants be like him. Guess it was a blessing?

I used drugs 45 yrs to cope , blessings to you Julie

Julie thank you for the courage to share something so personal. As I am in recovery as well, hearing others share their experiences keep me on the path of continued recovery. ❤

Thank you ladies for this compelling convo. I found your Julie b/c my mom is on hospice. I wanted to be proactive in learning how to cope w/out wine. I saw your Matthew Perry post and mention of addiction. Searched for more and voila. Thanks Peter for making this connection with these amazing women in recovery. ❤❤❤❤❤😊😊

I can totally relate to the anxiety in childhood. I worried about everything and still do.

“Fine” is an acronym for “Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional”. Decades ago, in 12 Step circles (AA especially), I heard “fine” as an acronym for “Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic, and Egotistical”.

3 1/2 minutes in, and I absolutely relate. And, yes, I am an alcoholic too. Been sober 12 years. God bless you.

Wow! I so enjoyed this honest conversation. I am so lucky I do not have an issue with alcohol but was curious what it is really like. The spirituality and end of life topic have always fascinated me. Thank you for putting this out there!

Thank you so much for sharing this part of your story. So important to share! 14yrs 🎉 ODAT!!!!

Hi from the second time I drunk alcohol I was highly addicted it got rid ov ov 17 years ov fear it made me feel brave and gave me confidence

THE Most important and incredibly truthful video on this topic. Thank you!

Wow thank you for your transparency!!! Hit me in the gut but needed this!! Your vulnerability is a gift!!

Thank you Julie you are a great human being. Happy Thanksgiving!

This was great. As someone in recovery, it's always interesting to hear other people's experiences.

You’re sober?! ROCK ON!

Your profound video was amazing. Thank you for sharing and congratulations!🎉🌷💞

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone 🦃 My 69 Birthday is tomorrow. ..heard there's going to be a Parade 😂🤣 Enjoy the Holiday & Stay Safe ✌️

...beautiful powerless story...

Thank you for your story. I learn alot from you and appreciate it.

Julie You and I have so much in common that it blows My mind. School, uncle's, anxiety the works. It amazes me ,

Damn girl … such a great video love your videos about being a hospice nurse but this video was so interesting about Julie : So glad you’re sober;)

My father was an alcoholic, my brother, my husband, my father-in law as well. Thank God, I was never inclined to drink. I saw enough misery around me to know enough not to go there. I have a lot of empathy and compassion for anyone going through addiction of any kind. Especially the family members who are indirectly affected as well. It is a recovery process for all. Thank you for your honestly Julie. 💖🌷

Yep and it never ends.

Thank you. You are amazing to explain this part of your life. This does help in understanding. Such an insightful conversation. Thank you again for being so brave and sharing.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! You rock, as tears flow down my eyes❣️

❤❤❤love nurse Julie she’s such an amazing person

My baby sister is now suffering from LSLD-waiting for a liver transplant hopefully. It took that diagnosis sadly to quit drinking. 9 months sober as of now, still looking at an uncertain future😢

Thank you both so so much. Your amazing...both of you. I needed to hear this. ❤xxx

Wow, what a beautiful and authentic discussion about Julie's journey. Thanks to both of you, it was really inspiring!

Just found your channel, I commented on the 1st video, and now this: I'm in recovery as well, I like you even more! 10 1/2 years! Also I was the same when I was younger, very similar!(alcohol)

Well heck! I love you even more!❤

Great conversation. Thank you for sharing.They should start kids in support groups based on need as part of school to bring up a society of connection and community support and learning to help others...It is so lost especially today...Maybe someone like Matthew Perry would be alive today😢

Great Vid/message Julie. Ditto, ditto, yes, yes! Yes, it takes big balls & the bullying that comes w sticking up for what is right takes some BFball's.....I love your tenacity & your honesty. We love you sooo much. Happy Thanksgiving.

What a great episode thank u ladies ❤❤

Thank you for candidly sharing your story

That’s awesome Julie

December 22, 2021 My beautiful, amazing daughter passed away from liver failure due to alcoholism. She was 38 y/o. 😢

Thank you!

Julie, your description of life when you lived with your sister resonates with me, only with food instead of alcohol. That seems so weird

Thank you both so much, for covering this topic. It was an hour and twenty minutes well spent.

Congratulation on your sobriety,,Happy Happy Holidays 🦃🦃🦃🦃🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

Amazing story. I have never understood alcoholism. Not sure i do yet. Was always trying to figure is it low self esteem, a habit or really the effects of how it makes a person feel. Confusing to me though. I never liked my head spinning or wobbilying around. That’s just me It must be so hard so hard to realize to quit so hard

I congratulate you on your ability to stay sober nursing seems like a very very difficult job especially when having to deal with families when a loved one passes it has to affect the nurses we are all human and have feelings so what you went through is completely normal. I love watching your channel I’m in palliative care myself and I do fear death but I have to learn to accept we are all gonna die it seems like my health is declining as I age it started In 2018 and now I have a blockage in my heart on top of osteogenesis imperfecta and Ehlers Danlos syndrome and advanced stage osteoporosis and polycythemia

If you as a nurse can’t take care of yourself then you aren’t able to fully take care of your patients. I’m not a nurse, but what Nurse Julie is saying is so true and they wonder why there is such a shortage of nurses and then you had hospitals forcing good nurses to quit because they refused to get vaccinated and rightly so.

Hi from PA!

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I am currently studying drug and addictions

Amazed ❤❤❤ 41:38

im trying to find out how alcoholism affects the dying patient. When they stop eating and drinking do they have withdrawls? I am taking care of just such a person with alcoholism, almost stage 5 kidney disease, diabetes, high blood pressure.

half of people that say "i'm sober" i don't even believe them. I hear so many people describe minimal substance use to the point where it's almost definitely not even a 0.00001/10 on the addiction scale, and i gotta deal with them pulling up next to me saying their "sober" when they never had a problem in the first place.