Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissism - with Dr. Frank Yeomans 

While I very much enjoy meme and cat videos, content such as this is the true treasure of RU-vid. Knowledge is power, power to (hopefully) make this world better.

What an incredible person! Patients with these conditions can be so challenging to deal with and yet he has so much emotional intelligence, patience, insight and empathy and explains things so well. Amazing video for healthcare professionals :)

If I could give myself a precious gift, it would be a session with Dr. Frank yeomans ❤

I've tried many types of therapy over 40 years and no one ever shared with me what diagnosis they assigned. I'm working with an EMDR, gestalist currently. I know I have early trauma. But not even that has been verbalized. All the therapist has said is i do not find mental illness in you, just alot of confusion. I keep trusting the process at any rate.

the most enjoyable thing about Yeomans is his very obvious humility. That screams volumes about him. Lovely, lovely.. Thankyou for posting.

“Neutral” is what my personality disorder clients describe me as and tell me it’s helpful.

The fact that he had a narcissist patient that described a traumatic experience to him, and he cried due to having an empathetic response toward the patient and the patient thought "You're mocking me". WOW. That is astounding. I feel so bad for Dr. Yeomans! I don't know about anyone else, but it feels bad when you have deep empathy for someone, and they reject it let alone tell you that your motives are not to be empathetic and you're doing something sinister. That is next level bizarre. They are so delusional. My father is like this, and it is maddening. It is like everything is precisely backwards of actual reality to them.

Oh, for more human beings like this wise man.

As a layman, and as a member from a dysfunctional family, I have always been intrigued by the contradictory behavior from people that suffer from NPD. What is the behavior I have seen? Most of the time it all takes place at parties or other social events that naturally makes people more relaxed and focused on leisure. The person with NPD is the odd person at the event because in some way the party is not about them or do not accommodate them according to some arbitrary norm that is not stated by the suffering person but should be known by everybody present. The person suffering from NPD is haughty, overbearing, stiff and putting wet blankets over everything and everyones experience. The person suffering from NPD both berates and humiliates other guests that naturally have their guard down until he or she reaches the guest that finally says no and instantly a scene breaks out. The rule is that the person that suffers from NPD denies it all and without any shame expects an apology from the person that protested. The person with NPD felt attacked and there were no awareness of the own behavior until he or she found the guest that said stop. It is like the position stated in the video, everything aggressive comes from the outside and inside there is no aggression to be identified.

Such a kind and nice doctor❤, truly compassionate and opening his knowledge and heart❤

14:35 boom! That’s why I feel once I make peaces with my own aggression I’ll be better at dealing with conflict

I would like to see interviews of patients for whom transferance Forcused Therapy helped.

Thank you - I just love growing new neural pathways.

I love Frank! He’s an absolute G when it comes to understanding and articulating Cluster B’s 🤙

Thank you Doctor. This is the most concise and clear description I've ever heard of what I have been dealing with in my own marriage for the past thirty eight years. I cannot tell you how much it means to have a framework described that makes sense of the chaos and needless pain.

What a smart intelligent man ❤🎉

Thanks for putting this out there! Liking, sharing, commenting, subscribing, all that stuff, this needs a signal boost. :D

Thank you Psyflix for posting this lecture by Dr. Frank Yeomans.

As i listened to this very helpful talk, i saw connections between this model and IFS. Its just amazing how we manage to survive in rhevworld following traumatic experiences.

15:12 the tv incident - as a possible candidate to a bpd diagnosis I can say that this generated me a mix of shameful and funny feels. Made me reflect on how primitive and childish some of my reactions have been throughout the years 😅

More from Frank Yeomans please !

When i was in the full grips of BPD, my emotions WERE ME. They determined hpw i saw myself and others and the world around me. My emotions HAPPENED TO ME. My emotions were bogger than me and controlled me. Now, i have a healthy relationship with my emotions. They still feel bigger than they should at times, but i see how they are something i experience and can manage, rayher than being controlled by. I value my emotions and listen to them now but create space between myself and my emotions. Now, i know who i am and that my emotions are like the varying trees in my inner landscape of self. Or the colours.

Interesting subject, as I watch the horrors of war, the horrific senseless ordeals and deaths of civilians, I can’t help but think about how such experiences affects their mental states, like those survivor of Hitlers death camps, or people who are abused as children in one way or another, who develop various emotional disorders, etc etc…we pass on our pain to others, like a disease, like alcohol is used to forget, only to make then a alcoholic or drug addiction…it’s a mad mad mad world where people pass on their experiences to the next generation….tragically, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, Peace !

You,ve give us a very comprehensive picture of TFP . Thank you so much Dr Yeomans !

Just discovered this channel. Dr Yeoman is an amazing person and analyst. Love to listen to him! Thank you ❣️

God bless the Masters of this planet! Thank you Mr. Yeomans

I’ve been diagnosed BPD and all around cluster B. Tears came to my eyes just listening to your tearful experience. Only because it was in a general way. I’ve no empathy when faces with specific face to face interaction.

I really wish this therapy works! It sounds so hopeful. I just fear, that as a therapist you almost all the time are NOT dealing with the patients themselves, but with the false self, the protector. This protector would never let you get through to the fractured self, for it would not only mean that what's left of the self would re-experience memories of unbearable pain and shame, but it would also mean death to the protector entity. I assume that the one who spoke to you from the mouth of your first patient ("you are mocking me"), wasn't your patient himself, it was his protector entity. It stands there - and remains standing there - between a fractured potential-of-a-self, and a world that is unbearable, unaccepting and unacceptable. I wish I was wrong.

Wonderful, thank you

I enjoyed how this was edited. 👏

Honestly I'm amazed that someone with NPD was even in therapy.. I'd always been under the assumption that you'd never see a Narcissist in therapy as they just never see any wrong in themselves, they are perfect! 🙄

Learned a lot

Throw a tv lol. But I know that’s exactly how their brain works. They’d throw a tv into your face, but as soon as their anger is gone, they’d talk to you even very a friendly manner as if nothing happened. It’s completely normal to throw a tv for them. I hope the husband is now safe.

These types of people are really dangerous and I usually run away from them all the time and ignore them to the most extent possible. Thanks for the information

Thank you

And you are right about one thing which is Borderline being comorbid with Bipolar more often than people would think.

Thanks this is eye opening because I deal every day with these types of people and most of them are from religion and faith and they have these kinds of blaming others for their not wanting to willingly serve God and want to condemn the whole world or the rest of society to their control and manipulation.

This channel/Frank Yeoman's is a star I was an analysand - if the analyst from the 1970s simply took the time to describe the process and to inform/educate me, instead of assuming that I could gain function through osmosis, the analysis might have thrived instead of dying. No doubt many analysands were illusional/delusional regarding their parental acceptance by community members. Flagrant abuse is obvious, but emotional neglect is covert and damaging. Therefore, neglected children inflate parental behavior and believe that their childhood was wonderful. (Try getting through illusion/delusion in psychoanalysis.) It's next to impossible unless this reality could be programmed into the working dynamic of treatment. PS. Is anyone aware of this reality? Are any professionals working to change this overwhelming resistance?? Someone in this podcast certainly is aware of these situations. I believe you could be growing the mental heath industry if you were to do a podcast on this topic for those of us who have life long neuroses.

Yes, i am 34 yo and i am at extremes in both love and hate. And because i am also histrionic i sometimes have periods of one week or two when my feelings are mild to totally muted.

Are we thinking narcissistic disorder is an autism spectrum disorder? Also how does the therapist keep this kind of patient engaged in order to start to integrate? They often will blow up therapy at a key juncture. Loved coming across the doctors lecture at a key moment in my practice dealing with bpd/narcissist

It would have been nice if Dr. Yeomans explained what the attacks, contempt, rebellion on the part of the patient towards the therapist are about. They are typical of NPD.'s interactions with their therapist. Some people think that it's a way for the patien to create diversion as a means to avoid dealing with themselves, but it is not that.

Trained by the master Otto Kernberg,M.D.

Wow 👏

My life has became a hell after the state i am in criminalized cluster B. I simply cannot be myself. I am boiling and imploding inside because expressing my anger can get me some serious 30 years jailtime meaning life sentence. I have been warned about it by some cop. I want to express my anger. I can't hold it in anymore. And people think that i am harmless when they intentionally play on my triggers. Oh man, they better watch out. I am the type of person that does not fear death and can't stand humiliation.

It's incredible that people get married to those with BPD. After living with one for 4 months I can't stand it any longer.

Hi. I am a bpd person and i am pretty confused. Have a question. Do you think that emotional stability can be achieved through psychotherapy or it just helps to deal with the symptoms? Is dbt the best? Thanks a lot.

I'm curious to know if there are BPD patients that tend to internalize all of the negativity vs. those like the "mocking" patient that externalized them.

Love this man So is he saying this is only with BPD / NPD ? Wouldn’t this apply to histrionic and sociopath as well??

Can hear this psychiatrist knows meanwhile the overwhelming frustration of a non receptive loved one is itself an issue of the same intensity

I very much appreciate you mentioning reverting to a somewhat fragmented state even if one has already developed the necessary level of complexity to be considered healthy; indeed I felt like I somewhat regressed following a prolonged period of cyberstalking by a man with category B personality disorders. The two dimensional perception that he has of people also rang true as opposed to perceiving people as multi faceted beings. Wow the BPD & NPD 35 year old make you treated sounds just like him: no partner, couldn't progress in his career, no close friends...Sorry but zero degrees of empathy - this man put me through hell & back. I think you made a pertinent point re appreciating the complexity of ourselves & one another; unfortunately when you're on the receiving end of severe category B disorders you're idealised then demonised, it's a very simplistic notion of the psyche that is operating underneath which is disturbing yet pitiful at the same time. I've often felt very lonely & isolated as a result of the stalking yet their state of alienation from others under that thin veneer of warmth must be a truly scary place if they develop a modicum of self introspection. I also liked how you talked about radical discontinuity in emotions indeed this is how I now feel after what I was put through as opposed to enjoying & experiencing a rich range of more nuanced emotions, albeit more subtle prior to when the stalking happened. I'm just thankful that I have a loving family, fiancé & friends which won't give up on me.

Interesting. Are you measuring effectiveness in neurodiverse people as well?

11:54

I don't understand how agression come from not having the needs met. What about when you are treated with agression since little child?

He should teach other therapists. Retraining.

13:42 there can be also aggressive-loving feelings. Aggression is not necessarily something negative! It is Life-Force establishing facts!

…oh

Yes but bpd and narcasim are torally different. Bpd sufferers want to gave fruendssustainmartiages vutthere emitions osrinua suspecious besd gets in wsy if relationship, rarely naybe only 1.11/ percent of if people with BPD wiuld hurt soneone Where psyycopaths dont care who they hurt abd why

why isn't the site in English ????

"i hope i therapist never mocks a patient" - no, but a psycho(thatuses)loge will poke at and provoke to prove a point. Framing someone and guilt tripping into shaming them for having "feelings" . I mean how dare you cry and scream for being wounded (sarcasm)

❤🎯

The Party Never ends! It's Just Great? All this makes me want to go to a bar or something. After many years away from all that.

Marva says he sounds a little like Floyd the Barber. He does, doesn't he?

ah yes the extreme paranoia associated with deep feelings

That is Borderline comorbid to Histrionic not narcissistic.

🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴🔴

I don't grasp how confronting your traumatic experiences and the ways you project those actually changes anything. People are poor at monitoring themselves. The people I know who have undergone 15+ years of analysis have invariably emerged with renewed and medically approved confidence that they "were right". No one changes.

Wish it could work doc. But I can not be ok with my current living situation in the western world. And there is no carot in the western world for me any longer not that there ever was not one day from child all my mind and mouth asked was why and how and the reply given never reached any point of unification in my soul. So now what did we see the gays given in our time??? Now what will my people receve so we can just do away with the whole BPD thing cuz major change in my reality would have to physicly change on paper as well so that us sensiteve people have our voices herd in the court of law just like a murderer someone that hurts another human emotionaly beyond reasonable moral huamn decency then ya voices need to be hered feelings destroy minds and lifes like bulets dud you not hear the pin is might like the sward. IDK a smart guy sead that but what do i know i cant spell im bipolar and now looks like a hard hard BPD diagnosis i need no dictor to see that its just the coz of it incan put my finger on like he not willing to do he wants to maintain this condition for who his pocket the church the government the schools ? Obviously a man would fix the hole in the dam replace the dam before building another dam down stream hopping the people in the valley bellow wont die and drown? Smart man cant spell but so smart look at me brain.

You made this wayyyyy too complicated! They’re unfortunately still children stuck in a world of lies. Giving them an out by validating any of their bullshit is not helpful. CBT and DBT are definitely better than TFP. It really seems like a great way to make money off of adult children who are suffering. I’m sure you’re very successful in your field of psychology and that’s very sad to me.