Very good, but you are missing the essential feature of Manely Hopkins work, that he uses syncopation to create emphasis. Most English speakers read this poem 'straight' with a steady beat, and it doesn't work. The poem speeds up and slows down, as do all Hopkins poems. Hopkins called it 'sprung rhyme' Anglo-Saxon, like Gaelic and African languages, is syncopated. There is a nice recitation with syncopation by Rosia Garcia on Poetry out loud.
There is a 'aural' dynamic to it that most modern English speakers are completely unaware of, the 'mouthful' you speak of is syncopation, you have to squeeze the sounds to get to the end of the line on time. Gaelic, Welsh and Africans, because syncopation is intrinsic to their languages, often have a better grasp of how it should sound.
hello, thank you for great videos. It helps me a lot, as I'm not costumed to the language of poetry. Kindly request for you to explain the auguries of innocence