Understanding Trauma: A Conversation with Dr. Gabor Maté 

Both of these people are two of the most brilliant humans in the world, right now. They should receive the Nobel Peace Prize. They have learned from indigenous cultures deeply and put a modern twist on it. So poetic their words and sentiment. Gotta love Dr. Gabor Mate and Marianne Williamson ❤️

Ancestral trauma in the present day population is an intriguing theory. It really puts so many of our psychosocial ills in a new and enlightening perspective!

Addictive behaviours seem to sprout from abuse of some sort, and then the fear of feeling the resultant pain. This is actually the nervous system doing its job; protecting life at all costs. If we want to really heal, feeling through this pain is only half the answer. Society needs to purge every abusive behaviour.

"the tyranny of the infant..." Seriously, what sort of whack mind dreams that shit up? Probably a traumatized one, I suppose. Gabor Mate is such a gift to human evolution, a stunningly beautiful mind. BAM, he lays down the hammer... not interested in hope, but rather what is the possibility of this moment to choose. We create the future in the present. This one tidbit of Truth is taught in so many ways. This has been an extraordinary conversation, thank you both so much.

Two of my favourite teachers, thought-leaders and wisdom-keepers on this planet ♥️

Oh My Lord....THIS is such a deeply deeply important conversation!!! 🙏🙏Marianne and Gabor🌻💕🌻😘.....Yes, LOVE is so deeply the answer!!!

Gabor’s wisdom just cuts thru all the bullshit. At least for me.

Systemic stressors such as the need to be "perfect" is a major problem as well that I see continually in my practice.

Some rough notes: Will add more quotes to this later. documentary “Wisdom of Trauma” 12:30 Gabor convo starts 15:00 “What creates the trauma is not that something hurts but that we don’t know how to be with that pain. …So we build all these defense against it. We close our hearts. We try and do too much to fix things. We take on too much responsibility or we deny responsibility altogether. We try and protect ourselves from the hurt of it. And so it’s almost like a scar that forms around a wound. …” Like scar tissue. Wounds is very sensitive. Scar tissue is very rigid and unfeeling. ***18:00 economic stress, children in uterus is already picking up stress and it affects the brain development. Epidemic of children’s mental health issues from parents passed to children 20:00 Poverty and even middle class families are suffering, working too hard, depriving children of family time 20:45 1970’s one parent could support family 24:00 ish kids should be held. They’ve been conditioned out of it ***25:40 support for healthy childhood development, mothers carrying babies should be given every support they need, financial, emotional etc. Child birth as well, prevents bonding 27:30 ¼ of American women have to go back within 2 weeks 28:15 aboriginal societies, average age of weaning is 4 years. Between 2-5 years ***28:30 Educational System: “I’m not saying that we should import aboriginal ways. But we should understand the natural wisdom of human beings that we’ve lost. In terms of child development, they need to be in a warm and nurturing context for much longer than they are these days. Now the schools, so there’s an article from Harvard University that appeared in the journal of pediatrics in February of 2012, and they talk about the necessary conditions for brain development. And what they say is that the brain develops from the womb until adulthood. So from womb until adulthood is the period of brain development. And the most important influence on brain development is the mutual responsiveness of adults/child relationships, particularly in the early years. That’s the most important factor in promoting the physiological development of the brain, the mutual responsiveness. So in any society where parents are not able to respond to the children the way the children need to be responded to because of stresses on the parents the way we’ve talked about, is interfering with the brain development of the child. As far as the schools are concerned, our educational system is convinced that their task is to teach facts and skills. No it’s not. Their primary task is to promote healthy brain development. And how do you promote healthy brain development? By the mutual responsiveness of adult/child relationships, means that the schools, just as you suggested in your document, need to be in the emotional development business, not in the intellectual development business. Why not the intellectual development? Because that follows spontaneously and naturally from healthy emotional development. And so that’s where the emphasis needs to be. And teachers need to be trained in trauma. They need to be trained in attachment. They need to be trained to deal with their own stuff so they can react to their children, their students in a way that doesn’t threaten the child, that supports the child, that embraces the child. If the schools did that their intellectual task would be so much easier because kids with emotional security, they want to learn. They’re curious. They’re sponges for knowledge.” ***31:30 if intention of school system is to create not curious, not critical minded, but malleable, obedient employees who are emotionally hurting and therefore are buying all the products that are being sold to them to soothe their emotional pains then we are doing brilliantly. 33:30 in our culture, more pressure to put kids into peer groups not adults 35:40 connection to addiction, attachment Zero evidence it’s about genes ***38:45 what did addiction do for you? Attachment needs not met, from stresses so many parents have imposed on from this society Addiction not a disease not a choice, an attempt to solve a problem. Where did the problem come from? Society fucks people up 40:10 influences of mothers, fathers, gendered differences? Task of society is to support mothers and be supportive nurturers Psychologist Darcy Narvez, Allo-mothering, Notre Dame ***43:00 Study in Sweden, stress on mothers increases chance for premature birth Father’s depression increases premature more than the more. Because mother’s absorb the stress of the father. The job of the man is to take care of himself. 44:00 Study, stress of mother and father 45:45 what about adults already traumatized Reconnect to self Many successful people are the biggest sociopaths out there, “high achievers”, great destroyers 48:45 this society is made distracting, tries to fill our emptiness 52:00 modern psychiatry is a disaster ***57:20 most people in prison are the most traumatized in our society, financial, racial, colonialism *** 58:30 theory of black family break down, but don’t ask why? 1:03:00 do you have hope we can fix it all in time? 1:09:40 Dr. Edith Eger, psycho therapist We must love the Hitler inside of us. What pain that must’ve created that hardness, hatred 1:11:30 what advice has anyone gave you that sticks out? 1:12:15 Bessel Van Der Kolk

America needs an intervention! Thank you Marianne 🙏❤✨ Thank you Dr Mate', you are a true gift to our crazy insane world 🙏

Indeed--how lucky are we that Dr. Gabor Maté is on the planet. I owe him so much. Eternally grateful. Amazing what came out in this interview. Wow. Thank you for sharing this.

Thank you so much for this Marianne! Love your work and a huge fan of Gabors work also. I spent the covid year getting off of heroin and crack with the help of dr Mates work. He is helping people understand addiction.

Dr Mate is so extraordinary and knowledgeable and yet, so humble. Amazing human being🧡

This discussion was so insightful yet heartbreaking. There is no greater fact then all of our adult problems are a result of our childhood. We are never taught to be introspective and understand how our childhood directly shapes who we become as adults. Thank you Ms. Williamson & Dr. Mate for the next level education. We truly have to treasure and protect our children.

Marianne and Gabor ❤️ What could be better than this! My two favorite people. Amazing conversation 🙏🏻😊

Great episode! Thanks Marianne. I am trying to help people dealing with borderline personality disorder which is the most painful mental illness there is rooted in trauma. It has an estimated 4 million sufferers in the United States with a 10% suicide rate. That's 400,000 lives lost because we are abusing trauma victims instead of helping them. People talking about trauma more openly these days is sending a lot of light to people suffering with an illness they were just demonized and thrown away for developing. I'm excited to see this changing. Everyone's pain is awful but the mental anguish involved in BPD is incredible and finally seeing sufferers as the trauma victims they are instead of monsters is a huge breakthrough. Keep Living in Love! Thank you for all the good messages you are sending!💖

I have pulled over while driving and have comforted my child its a natural instinct!

This aligns with exactly how I knew deep down that this was the way. Being a single mother I was poor and I felt the economic stress and emotional stress from childhood. I tried to stay in alignment with the naturalness of being, but society demanded I show up in the world to survive. I tried to break the generational pattern and encouraged my daughter to stay home with her two sons and I would support her emotionally and financially. Her children are 3 and 1 and for her, she feels like a failure if she isn't out there working and slaying the day. I think social media has supported this belief. It has been a very challenging and learning process.

Gabor, I'm comforted by your words in the end, after many videos I've seen from you. Here you finally seem to be able to be happy and to love more than you thought was possible. This is the biggest hope and comfort you can give people who believe it's out there, but that it's not for them. You have always been loyal to the suffering in the world. You were loyal to your mother. Loyalty is a form of love.

Always moved by the love that Gabor Mate shows through his experiences, responses and thoughts--a loving, lovely man. I could see how Marianne was indeed affected by his wisdom, too--as strong and forthright and determined as she is "to get it right", whatever the "it' might be. I have myself worked with A Course in Miracles and it is beautiful--but it is nothing without the gift of our own hearts and minds to the work it asks of us to do--to listen, to practice, to make it a daily activity. I know there are other ways and thought systems and spiritual paths, and other lovely beings such as Adyashanti and Jack Kornfield. And have attempted many in my life, Only some daily practice within myself is what will save the day, for me individually, and for the world. This conversation was profoundly illuminating for me.

What an amazing surprise to see my two favorite speakers and authors come together! Thank you for this treat! 💜

"I'm here now and you're here now and the question is 'What possibility is present at this very second for you and I and everybody else who is listening, wherever they are, she, he, they, what possibility is in this present moment for them, for us and the future in a humane and loving direction?'"

It is absolutely wonderful to hear the advocacy for children!❤🧡💛 I have been in the exact situation with a child crying in a car, as she mentioned. Thankfully I have never agreed with self soothing in an infant! Even though it was against what I was brought up to be taught as "god's word". I hated the teaching they taught. I am not religious at this time. Love you both for doing this!!!

When I was a child, my mom told me about Dr. Spock and how dangerous his advise was. She picked us up when we cried. We all cuddled with my mom. She breast fed us despite the advise that she not breast feed us. My mom’s mistake was having six kids. We also had financial stress. I have a bit of PTSD now having been sick, in pain and living in poverty and with medical neglect for the past 30 years.

Yes thank you for touching on maternity leave. I'm not even a mother yet and what I've seen with my friends having children and having to deal with chosing between getting back to making money within 2 weeks or being home with their child is a travesty! This was such a deeply beautiful talk.

Love this man what a gift he is to this world ..two beautiful souls 💗

You have been one of my greatest teachers and you are and angel who walks the earth. Thank you and I love you.

I started the morning listening to Aaron Maté address the UN about OPCW and the truth and untruths involved in the determinations made by the commitee. Every time I hear him report I feel thankful that such an earnest and intelligent man reporting important news and information. Thank you Dr Maté for the understanding you have shared with me and my family through your interviews and work. And if I may say thank you for the care you took in raising your son. He is a treasure.

What a wonderful conversation! I wish that all politicians had to listen and accept this information before they take office! Our world could be a very different place!

honestly, i am tired of finding myself crying every video with Gabor.. this person seems to heal my wounds i didnt know i had. i feel so good anyway.. every person talking to him is so lucky. please, give him as much love as you can for all of us who are far away, in other countries and continents.

Why both of these people have had a huge impact on me is because having listened and read their work over the years you see that they are constantly reconciling with things and growing and approaching their own pain, like what Gabor is saying about his approach to his childhood trauma is absolutely a step forward from what he has discussed in the past and shows that he does not just talk the talk but also walks the walk. I am so thankful he shared about his recent experiences and was so moved but what he said about his inner light...maybe I will find mine again 😢

He makes it sound so simple and he’s so right on. I am enjoying every moment of his interviews. Thank you RV for cheering me on

A powerful, deep interview Marianne. Thank you! I did an online retreat with Gabor, The Wisdom of Trauma, 2 weeks ago. It was one of the most powerful, healing experiences I have had.

Love her, love him, and his son is great too. His son does independent reporting and he's wonderful.

My wife breastfed the first six months THEN I was Mr. MOM for the following year. What a gift to see Kevin teach me, seeing everything the first time. 🤔🤗

This stuff is ground breaking in today's world. I hope we can all become awakened. Hopefully it won't be too late for Mother Earth.

Your teachings reached me long before Gabor Maté found his eloquent take on addiction and trauma. I didn't understand the fear of the potential power within me until Gabor's work took me to look at my childhood fear and resolve my trauma. The resulting power over myself brought me to the most peaceful sense of self. I am grateful to both of you for adding to my emotional development.

Wow, first I just want to lovingly say: Marienne, you look so beautiful, refreshed and elegant! I just adore you. Thank you for this fantastic interview. Both of you are such role models to me now in my early thirties. I look to you both for great wisdom in my life and honor your elder role, even though it may be online. I would absolutely love to be mentored by you both in person - holy cow that would be a joy! For now, these videos fill that for me. Thank you!!

Thank you for creating and sharing this video. So many great points were brought up regarding our current epidemic of Stress and how it affects us from our earliest beginnings in the womb. I agree and would love to see curriculum added to our educational health classes for both students and adults. Addressing societal stressors, as well as those in the home and family, is key to the Health and Welfare of All.

The Beautiful personality you have, the fact that you put an emphasis on the children will have your name in The book of Life

Just listening to Dr Mate in itself is one of the most beautiful, healing experience one can experience. For me personally it's like the voice of Universe. Would love it if you could bring Glennon Doyle, Shefali Tsabary, Stephen Pieces, Brene Brown, Dan Seigal on your podcast

Our ancestors be remembered.....love you both and edith..the tribe forever🙋🙏🌈

Just discovered The Wisdom of Trauma and it totally spoke out of my heart. Now I'm here and enjoying this great conversation. Thaaaaanks a ton! Just one thing (c. 22:55): The insight that parents are not following their natural, mammal instincts is not exactly new. It's been clearly said by Alice Miller in her 1980 book "For Your Own Good" about poisonous education. I was totally amazed that she clearly showed the problem that, at least in Western societies since the 18th century, there has been an ideology of child-raising whose sole purpose was to break the child's tyranny, i.e. its will, resulting in an ongoing traumatization of entire generations. And while we think we treat our children better today, this conversation shows we're still far from doing it. I heartily recommend the book, it's still SO valid today, and at least the German original is wonderfully clearly written. Over and out. Thanks again for a great conversation )

Thank you Marianne Williamson madam and Dr.Gabor Mate sir. Humility and lots of love, light, respect and Gratitude🙏💜🌹

Important and timely conversation. Dr. Gabor Mate names many things we can do to heal our own traumas in the most embodied way. This in turn contributes to the healing of our collective societal traumas. Please take notes and take action. We're all in this healing game together.

The Pain & The Love are interwoven right here this very second. This conversation was deeply felt. Thank you both, bless you for your humility & honesty. You are Emboldened by these attributes. I trust you.

Thanks so much for this compassionate approach to addiction; 'Ask not why the addiction, but why the pain'. Nobody is born wanting to be an addict. Nobody wants to experience trauma from birth onwards...we all crave connection and safety. It does indeed take a village to raise a healthy person. We need not judge. We need to re-evaluate our lifestyles and come together as a community. I believe that this is our road to serenity ❤️

My favorite two people too!❤️❤️

this Gabor is the real deal, Sharp Vision, i bet he is to the left of jr. much respect to both.

So little views what a shame- this is my 3rd time watching this for the priceless knowledge

I love you both, thanks so much for being! I have found that forgiveness thru compassion, for eg pitying their corruption(?) means you just drop that baggage, all the years, the weight & the gloomy oldness of it, in a moment. It feels great.

My two favorites people❤️

Love when she talk something about her positive attitude and the way she thinks

Wow These two I Trust with my whole Life! They have called my Trauma to the surface threw their own experience which Helps me so much move threw the lack of childhood I had and being called a liar about the childhood disruptions of sexual abuse in the family...I used to care what they thought believed and now I know it was never my fault. Thank you so much for helping me take back my power of who I truly Am.

Finally someone is speaking the truth

Social Dilemma was awesome! I’m glad people are talking about how trauma manifests in our lives. So many people get misdiagnosed and overmedicated. It’s a shame.

two of my favorites !!

OMG I was so excited to see these two geniuses get together!!

Thank You 💛 Love & Healing Blessings to All 💜

we all need inspiration and this is the best interview I have heard for a long time - 2 amazing beings - thank you so then I can inspire my tribe here in NZ - namaste to all amazing beings

It's a great day when I get to experience two of my favs in one place! Much gratitude and love.

These are two of my favorite minds in mental health and healing. I have been anticipating the union of these two minds since finding out about Gabor last year. This is wonderful. When is round 2?

Dr. Gabor Mate my favorite author ✝️💜

Love this interview. Gabor Mate' is one of the great ones. Thank you so much for posting it.

A Sunday morning mental health wellbeing. I’m grateful that I am interested in finding out about addiction,pain & trauma. My healing from a 24 yr marriage to someone addicted is on going If my ex could be so enlightened,alas this is for my healing. Forgive & pray he finds his way.

Marianne and Gabor, I love you! Thank you!!!

It was so needed, came at the right time in my life. Thank you so much to both of you for your profound service to the world!

“Some things just need to be said.” 🎯

Thank you madam. Very useful topic🙏

a new world awaits us all thanks for the light you all shine as we gratefully travel on be blessed in grace .love and light guide you all.

Yes, humanity will pull through with divine power intervention! 🙏💕

Thank you so much for everything you do, Marianne. I too was right in the heart of AIDS. I was working at Forbes, and I lived in the Villiage. And I remember how the Gov't lied to everyone. Until they couldn't. Dr. Gabor Mate is a saint. So much love pouring out...

LOVE THIS CONVERSATION-- particularly the wisdom of GABOR MATÉ. I am taking this into my soul to project into my sphere of influence. Blessings! 🙏🏽💕

thank you so much Marianne - sending you so much love from someone's life you have changed. I was given "A Return to Love" as I regained consciousness from a suicide attempt that left me in a coma with kidney failure. I have been studying ACIM and your words every since. I also am studying Compassionate Inquiry with Dr. Mate and he interviewed me for his next book - excited to see if I made it past the editorial cuts. thank you both. I am beyond grateful

ThThank you for carrying Love and Compassion in the midst of all this darkness....

I love the statement "There was so much more deeper going on there..."

I'm so interested in what Gabor said about what he downloaded from his brush with evil in infancy. He was traumatised in a pre-verbal state, when his emotional and physical immunity was low, and the ripples are still travelling almost 80 years later. Is it possible that what he still carries has to be expunged non-verbally? Perhaps using a non-verbal trauma release method like TRE? When he was talking about it, out of nowhere I began to cry, because I really felt what he was saying. In my family there is also a hole. My paternal grandmother died a young woman, in the mid 1930s, in relative poverty, having produced 11 children. My father, who was brought up as an only child by his adoptive parents is terribly traumatised (he was in an orphanage until around 18 months old), but has never faced it or sought help. For some reason, a lot of lies were told by his adoptive family to cover the tracks of his origins, and he was introduced to his blood sisters as 'aunts' when they visited! I know almost nothing about Jessie, my grandmother, and literally nothing about her husband. It didn't happen to me, and yet the hole in that part of the family troubles me. It's as though I can sense her life, and I have a lot of questions.

Wonderful podcast I’m learning to forgive myself. Maybe even compassion for myself.

I heard my parents fight my father hit my mother for no reason. He was so abusive with my mother and my brother and me. He also cheated on my mother. After that, I didn't want to be anything like my father, I hated him for a long time.

Wow my favorite Utuber the best who have help me to see and release the childhood traumas in my life ..Dr Gabor Mate the best his message resonated with me ..

This is beautiful.

Such an amazing open discussion. It is so helpful to hear 2 sages talk about their life's work and understandings they learned over deep integral investigations you have done. There are so many things that help guide us FORWARD in what you both talked about. One thing that had a red flag for me in this, was when "religion" was brought up WITHOUT talking about the SAME disfunction our culture has around us. We are learning that many LEADERS of "religious" groups ALSO have the same "injury" of power "over". Supported by religious institutions that show the same power hunger, and covering up thousands of child rapes, for example (and only one example of many other power games). I was shocked that religion was brought up WITHOUT being OPEN and HONEST about the child rapes in the Catholic Church and other religious groups. The patriarchy and misogyny that are rooted in our cult-ure (patriarchy stress disorder) needs to shift to an "ethics of care" so we can move OUT of an old system that is so damaging and NOT discussed openly. Thanks for mentioning all the NEW modalities of healing injuries. These are so helpful. When we deal with the ROOT issue, the power OVER that is patriarchy, and the regime pushed and supported, we have a chance of moving towards a system that is more supportive and caring and healthy. Love & Light

wow! thank you for lighting a candle in this room-our time... i ended this video with tears and have now names and deep understanding of my self,' i have my "why" and i have been looking for it for a long time...i live in israel, my grandparents were the only survivors from the holocaust, and after healing compleatly in a nonconventual way i am now lounching a project that, i hope, will help people to reconect with their inner self and find the path to healing. i am deeply touched with this podcast and thank you from my heart and soul for sharing it. thank you

Another beautiful and inspired conversation. Thank you Marianne and Dr. Mate for delving into a heart centered place. I felt held to be a witness to it.

What a great conversation! Listening to Dr Maté has helped me profoundly change my life! Every politician should be made to listen to this before they take office! If they did, the world might be a very different place!

I love that Gabor Mate. And I shouted I love you Marianne at one of your talks :) in London, Ontario a long time ago. Thank you both. Much Love to All.

This is a wonderful interview ... thank you for sharing... 🙌🏼❤

Soo proud of you, Gabor Mate, for pushing us hard to question what is "correct"!

Thank you Mr. Gabor and Mrs . Marianne for your life's work for teaching humanity what we need to do I will start with me. Now each person with this knowledge can make a difference . How can we have a conversation with the men who control the world? Will they listen? Will they understand that what they create in the world will either harm life or help life They have the power to make life so good for themselves and each individual in the whole world. We can make a beautiful world for every one with the help of the people who control the world. Two beautiful minds connecting creating and solving what is good for our earth and humanity each one reach one. Will they listen?

The present possibility is in moving to live closer in order to follow each others progressive motions and ideas, through a lifestyle process and practices that maintain our spiritual principles, relate us deeper and use our time efficiently, and all your thoughts too... you see!

Thanks Marianne for all your work. Great guests on your podcast 🙏

It's so wonderful to be among 2 great healers and find myself healing

My God. Incredibly beautiful. 🙏❤️✨

You both are leaders in finding the path back to ourselves.

Wow my two favourites! Thank you for doing this 💕

What a great combo...more please.❤

I love these 2 people.

After years of therapy, I am on the absolutely same page with mr. Maté. I am very happy I discovered him and his work :-) But listening to this interview I could not but to notice the gap between those two human beings. I was thinking of how shallow some politicians are and how catastropic their view of life is. I can be mistaken for sure, because I don’t know anything about the interviewer… but from her questions and her takes on the topics, I find her superficial and a very hard interview for mr.Maté. To me she is populistic and superficial and I wish it was mr.Maté and alikes that would be leading the world :-) with insights, the depth and self-awareness… as well as inteligence and own independent thinking

Very worthwhile discussion. Thank you.

Great talk - I would have voted for this lady and would have campaigned on her behalf - excellent stuff