Undiagnosed autistic and turning 25 | Life update 

As an autistic survivor and more than three times your age, we recalculate the things we might not be and take more appreciation to understanding the things we are. Your ability to produce a video and write its text is one you can certainly count as an accomplishment already achieved. Using our autism as a compass to know what we may not be is as valuable to understand where we may already be. To know the difference is the insight needed to explore the future. ☮

thank you so much for this beautiful video.i am 28 and have a similar situation

Comparison is the soul crusher. You are capable.

I hope we will see more videos, as you have the resources and energy to produce them 🙂. I also hope you have begun to build some community, friends from the world of autistic folks, and other Neurodivergent people 💚

Im 27 and I find this very relatable. I do feel behind in life at times. I just got my first full time job at 26 years old back in February of this year, after 4 years of looking for full-time 9-5 work. I was unemployed, and then I worked in food service, and i still live at home. You are not alone friend, we appreciate you. You will be okay! We are on our own path in life, it will take us longer, but it's worth it!

Thank you Angelina for sharing your deeply personal experience. I want to give you a massive hug as I know how hard it is to be stuck in a stage of life where you can't easily move on. I'm glad you are accepting yourself and being kind to yourself. This is so important to recover from/prevent burnout and to be able to achieve anything in autistic life. I would suggest when you are feeling capable while you are essentially stuck at home to create a daily schedule where you can set up healthy routines like set consistent time (start small) to exercise, practise mindfulness (which could be yoga, I suck at meditation 😅) and plenty of downtime (with activities listed to do and easily accessible so you know what to do when it's time to relax, because we suck at relaxing 😅) while setting a couple of days each week with time blocked out for work (which you can use to do RU-vid, build up your skills for a career etc) and time to learn life skills (like shopping for food, washing and cooking etc) also make time to go out and socialise with anyone (even extended family) . That way when you do get a job and/or move out you already have healthy habits established; as I've found it impossible to establish any after I moved out, got a job and now being a parent. All of what I've listed is something I don't do but I wish someone helped me to set up before I left home so it stuck and I was capable of organising myself in a healthy way. The other thing to mention is we are natural perfectionist and the hardest thing to do is to accept that we suck when we start learning anything and that it takes time to get better at anything. If it helps though I have realised when watching others that we learn the most when we fail, or a positive way of looking at this is we are actually succeeding when we fail. Someone else told me to set a realistic internal level of when something has been done or achieved and set that as your standard (eg 70% instead of our natural default of 99.99%) that way you are able to succeed more often than feeling like you are always failing. You mentioned not being able to organise the house the way you like to. I would suggest organising your room then as a way to practice organising the house. (sorry I don't know what you're actual struggles are so adapt the below examples to your needs don't feel like you have to follow any of my suggestions 😅) Eg if you don't like the colour of the light bulb buy another one and swap it out or buy a second hand lamp and use that instead. If it helps use blu-tack or similar to stick paper on with labels/pictures to help organise things. Remove visual clutter on your walls etc. Like it's a small (hopefully safe) space for you to experiment to find out what works best for you. Consider it a prototype for your house. And who knows if something really works well for you, you should suggest it to your parents if it helps you, for instance find things in the kitchen.

5:55 Thank you for sharing. This has been tremendously helpful to me as much as it has also been terrifying. It's a lot. Yesterday I decided to finally do something about my suspicion about being on the spectrum and made some calls to get started on therapy and an assessment. I added a time-stamp on this comment because what you said is exactly of the same nature as to what pushed me to begin this process. Cooking and systems. I really liked how you worded that. My partner and I were talking about cooking and meal preps Monday morning - the 1st of July- and they got really frustrated with me. We've been dating for 2 years and officially living together for a year. You said it best but when I was confronted about my behavior and attitude towards cooking and meal prepping. I didn't have the words to properly convey my experience. I became overwhelmed and now days later I've still been crying and going through what seems like a loss of my sense of self. Everything you've shared completely resonates with me. Even the part about your experience during the start of the war in Ukraine. I remember where I was when I found out about what was going on and I was so overwhelmed that I drove for 9 hours to go see my family I hadn't seen in a year due to traveling, expenses and the stress that comes with that. All my life I've had this experience. These challenges that I thought were just a normal part of being alive. The first video of yours I watched was the one about your experience with masking. I gained such incredible insight from it. Thank you🥺 Everything in that video completely resonates with me and that's what led me here. I'm 30 years old. An immigrant, trans and considered the black sheep of my family. Now I believe I'm autistic but I have a resistance to admit it because I think it adds another reason to be discriminated against and be seen as less than. I don't want that to happen. I don't want to be a problem to others but that's a personal issue I want to explore and navigate because I don't actually think that's true. I'm scared and overwhelmed about tackling the new challenges that will come with this but! I'm also relieved to have found these videos and others going through a similar experience. I feel reassured and less alone and less misunderstood. And a lot less embarrassed. I want help and I'm gonna do my best to get that. 💚

Thank you for the beautiful and honest video. ❤I’m also autistic and turning 25 this weekend and I also feel very behind. I became burnt out and had to move back home & I’m still working on my degree. So I can relate and empathize. It’s very frustrating navigating as autistic person in an unstable world and economy. But Im also working on being more independent and present. You’re accomplishments are amazing and society doesn’t get to dictate our lives!

I was looking forward to your next video and it’s here! It’s great, I’m 43 and just finding my neurodivergent self. Friends, I found that neurotypical individuals are just so hard to keep up with and tire me out. Unfortunately that’s what causes some overwhelm every day. I found that going to the coffee shop and speaking to new individuals helps. Finding that neurodivergent friend who just gets you and shares similar interests helps and may make you feel happier. It certainly helped for me not having a friend (even though I’m married and have children I do not have a friend outside this). Work, it’s important to explore what makes you happy and how to go about it at your pace. I’m freelance and work 4 days a week to have an extra day to recharge. Watching other RU-vid videos and doing the level 2 course in autism (I’m mad why did I do this! Special interests always going into things so much) I learnt that it’s good for your mental health to socialise with neurodivergent individuals so that you do not feel alone. Hope this helps and look forward to the next instalment.

Brilliant video and yes, creative. Happy 25th birthday! It was very touching. I'm thankful that you were able to get your grandmother out of Ukraine. And I understand when you say that it changed the dynamics. Change is really hard for me. I'm glad you are pulling through and seeing the beauty that can be with adults with autism. :) It looks like your video is a hit! P.S. Finland looks beautiful. I really enjoyed seeing a little of what your country looks like.

Beautiful video ❤ All I can say is that you are so much mature that I was at your age. The comparison with NT people is sometimes hard to avoid, but for me it was necessary to stop doing it to be able to be at peace with myself. Hope everything works out for you and your family

im 21, recently got a referral for an assessment as well and happy to have found this channel. thank you for sharing. please, take one day at a time. the burnout is real. i share your want to look back at this time and see how far I've come, but we have a lot more to learn :) in a good way, genuinely. do your best to accept each moment as is while you work on these skills. looking forward to more of your content, should you choose to update us!

Please come back

i loved this video format ! thanks for sharing. your experience is diffently common among us autistics.

You are already on your way, keep going girl!. I wish you the best in your journey

You are on the right path. Keep your goal in sight and things will come your way eventually. It may take some time. You self-diagnosed about 20 years earlier than me so you can benefit from that knowledge even more.

Hi Angelina, I can relate so much to your struggles, thank you for being vulnerable and don’t underestimate the worth of putting out these videos how it can help and make peoples lives better. We all need to know we’re not alone x

You can be proud of you already! You have talent and courage to be able to make this video. Thank you and all the best to you and your mum

This was a lovely and very real video

You are a talented content creator, and this video is beautifully made. All the best.

This is such a beautiful video and message - thank you. I learned about your channel through your collab with Jenny Aspie. This video is so pure, honest, and inspirational (I wish I could speak three languages!) Also, the music reminds me of a film I love and often think of: 'Call Me By Your Name'. Anyway, keep being you.

Thank you for your open and honest thoughts. Life is difficult, but I think you will succeed. Don't down play your education. While you might not find employment in what you thought you would, it has given you discipline to get a job done. This video is quite emotional and your videography, in my opinion, is excellent. While it made me sad in a way, it also made me happy that you can share this part of your life with the world in such an artistic way. Wishing you all the best.

Thank you.

Wow! You're just like me! I'm undiagnosed autistic, about to turn 25, I also just finished my degree, and am currently living with my parents. I'm feeling stuck too because I also have great difficulty focusing on more than one aspect of my life at once (it's really nice to know I'm not the only one!). Right now I'm trying to figure out a chronic illness I have that has just gotten worse and worse to the point I was getting worried it was going to kill me soon. I'm starting to get better (hopefully for real this time), but I'm having a hard time even thinking about getting a job since I'm scared I'll just get sick again (which has happened multiple times). However, I believe that someday I'll be able to get things settled down to a "normal" state. My dream is to have a normal job I don't loath, to have my own appartement, and a cat. I know I can have that someday! I believe you will be able to fulfill your dreams too, so keep that chin up!! :)

I was diagnosed later in life, and yes it had it's difficulties,but I'm still human

Diagnosed 28 years young here! I can relate to so many of the things you mention here and am sure a lot more. I was diagnosed at like 9 years old and have managed to grow and adapt to the world but I'm still stuck with some things. I still feel like a very wierd and complicatedly shaped puzzle piece, like "how am I supposed to manage this life form?" I can talk forever about these things. But be careful not to overthink this autism thing. Don't let it consume you, don't become a walking diagnose. Things can get stuck if you don't keep a distance between you as a human being and autism as a diagnose. Essentially it's all about traits and how we view the world, don't take it too seriously ❤

👍👍👍👍👍

get a diagnosis before making videos about the tism