Unintentional ASMR 🥪 Perfect Sandwich Made by Irish Gentleman (🇮🇪 accent) 

This bloke comes home absolutely shithoused at all hours of the morning and eats 3 of these.

Me at a party: Come on i swear I’m not gonna get political this time. Me after a few drinks: Bread was never meant to be triangular.

He was a quiet man, a sandwich maker

"And there it is" *Half the shit falls out*

I’ll fight anyone in this comment section making fun of this man or his sandwich.

For a guy that doesn’t have sandwiches very often he certainly seems to have strong opinions on how a sandwich should be made.

The amount of times I’ve told my fiancé “substance to it” and she had no clue wtf I was referring too.. 😂😂

> Hitler : become a great austrian painter > Tomatoes : never become popular in West Kerry

He's been making that exact sandwich for 75 years.

Kids these days with their triangular bread smh

I had the pleasure of meeting him once here in my hometown. Hes a giant of a man, about 6 foot 5 or 6. A gentleman aswell. He's 91 years old this year. More power to you michael.

One of my guilty pleasure in this existence consist in watching this video while eating a sandwich. I can't even describe how happy and peaceful it makes me feel.

He made this once and was like “this is it” and never looked back

With all the spells he's casting that must've tasted amazing

1:13 "The next thing I would do then is a few tomato's" 1:33 "A couple heads" (referring to the tomato slice) 2:26 "A piece there, and another piece on that side" 3:06 "Here is the way to do that" 3:38 "So there you have it. I hope you enjoy"

He was a quiet man, an artist, a craftsman…a sandwich making legend!

“I like plenty of it.” *puts two bites of ham down

I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve slipped and slit my wrist open with a piece of wafer-thin honey roast ham.

Now, I’m not a regular sandwich maker but if I came in late at night and felt a bit peckish I’d have no trouble at all in making a good sandwich and a good sandwich to me consists of brown bread, whole meal, and this is a good example of that. Some people like butter, others like Flora, different types of things. Whatever one is available that is the one for me. The first one I see in the fridge that’s the one that comes out. Now I wouldn’t overdo what you put onto it. I wouldn’t have it coming out at the edges. Just within, sort of like a football pitch, the lines are there. Outside it nothing else. On the pitch, the essentials. I would then get ham that’s boiled at home. I don’t like the ones you get in packets or anything like that. They’re too thin. They resemble razor blades to me at times. Now, I like plenty of it, substance to it. Now, this is a good one. It’s nicely bent around there to match. Now that would be sufficient. An chead rud eile a dheanfahd me ansin na cupla tomato. You know they give a bit of moisture. You might have tea with it or something like that or milk or water or anything. Tomatoes, they wouldn’t be evenly cut, but they’d be cut so that they’d rest on it. Cupla ceann. I would place those, you know, like the team would line out, not too near each other. Two tomatoes of that size would be plenty for me. Tomatoes were things that didn’t appear for a long time in West Kerry. I think it was after the war that they became popular, and I’m talking about the Second World War. Next thing then, a piece of lettuce. This lettuce is grown locally. And then I’d put it a bit protruding. That’s what I like to see coming out. And I’d maybe put it across that way so you’ve a little bit of the green, you know. I was used to going to matches. I grew up on a farm. Green was everywhere. I like the green to be visible in as many things as possible. Piosa eile ansin agus piosa eile ar an dtaobh sin. Now to secure them I don’t put any sort of substance that would stick them together. To me that’s complete. It’s natural. There are no extras to it. And then, the job now is making sure that there’s a little bit of green to be seen. It’s made now, except to divide it into two equal halves. I don’t like the modern idea of making two triangles out of it. Bread was never meant to be triangular. It was meant to be square, like a good field, a square field. An sli anois le e sin a dheanamh. Cut down until you feel the solid board underneath. Now there they are now, and to me that would be the perfect sandwich. Simple, wholesome ingredients. Bacon, that’s boiled at home, Irish bacon, local lettuce, local tomatoes, gach rud. The tradition will live on forever I think. So sin agaibh e. I hope you enjoy.

His ability to make that sloppy mess sound like a Michelin starred meal is beautiful.

Step 1. Navy Suit Step 2. War Step 3. Tomatoes become popular in West Kerry

If I came in late at night and “ felt a bit peckish “ I’d lift that complete ham out and just eat that like a cave man.

I like the part where he doesn’t quite cut the cherry tomatoes more shreds them with a blunt knife. And his mouth is watering the whole time. I would legit love to see a full series on this fella casually making mundane food like this 😂

I’ll make sure my kids know that Tomato’s were a thing that didn’t appear for a long time in West Kerry.

I like how he’s just describing how to make a good sammich for when you’re stumble drunk at 2:30 am but it still feels like he’s passing down wisdom from generations passed.

I'm not sure that it gets more Irish than that dude's surname.

1:59 when you drop a hammer on your foot but you’re at your grammas house.

Really cool how he occasionally spoke Irish while describing how he made the sandwich. Of course I don’t know what any of it means, but always interesting to hear how their culture makes their way into their work.

“No eating in class” Kids in the back of class:

This guy makes the words “brown bread” and “whole meal” into an entire paragraph

btw this guy is still alive and kicking. He's 93 now.

Just the fact that a channel like this exists is why the Internet is so awesome.

For those who don't know his name is Mícheál Ó Muircheartaigh and he's 90 years old! He's a legendary GAA broadcaster here in Ireland. The guy's an icon.

It’s midnight, I’m outside on my deck on a cushiony couch, the air is a perfect temperature, and I’m watching an Irish man calmly make himself a sandwich. This is the most peace I’ve felt in a while.

Me: * sleeping in bed * Michael: * standing over me with that small knife * *"Down until you feel the solid board underneath."*

I love this man's accent. That being said, this video is like a post-apocalyptic video made for and by people who have only ever heard of things like "sandwiches" and "tomatoes" and "football".

“Bread was never meant to be triangular” - damn that is the content I’m here for.

You know you've gone down the RU-vid K hole too far when you realise you've ended up watching an Irish man making a sandwich.

I've been trying to put my daughter to sleep for 3 hrs. This was my last resort and it worked.

“Bread was never meant to be triangular.” -Old Irish man.🙏🏻

“now I’m not a regular sandwich maker...” right before he blows us away with his ancient Celtic sandwich crafting. Such a boss.

This guy's mouth was watering while he made that sandwich....you can literally hear it. Lol

For the people in the comments, when he says football, he's talking about Gaelic football not soccer. He's a famous Gaelic football commentator. That's what he keeps referencing. These comments are funny but leave the poor man alone 😅 he's proud of his sandwiches.

It is very kind of him to share his experience in making a regular sloppy sandwich. I'm not ironic when I say I do appreciate it, and especially the way he emphasises how the series of subsequent imperfections add up to a perfect final result.

I feel a deep feeling of peace from him. This is the simple life I crave.

Love the passion this guy is putting into making and describing this sandwich.

This guy is legit. The second he said you don't slice your sandwich diagonally, I was sold. The ASMR was just icing on the cake...err...sandwich.

This is the best comment section I've ever seen.

Me and my work mates quote this video constantly, we describe everything as “like a field, a good field”

Amazing sandwich maker. I love he tells the tale of making a perfect sandwich of old and he keeps the tradition alive. I love making my bread sandwich cut in halves in the middle not triangular. A perfect balance of color, taste, and rich history. I applaud this man. Respects! Calming voice for the soul. Blessings.

I love how he casually dips back and forth between Gaelic and English

Translation of the Irish 🇮🇪 1:12 "The next thing I do then is a couple of tomatoes." 1:31 "A few of them." 2:24 "A piece there, and another piece on that side." 3:04 "Now the way to do it is...cut down until you feel the solid board underneath." 3:32 "Everything." 3:36 "So there you have it.."

CUPLA TOMAAAHHTO

He sounds Irish, Welsh, and Scottish all at the same time. Pure Celt.

Any chance we can get this man a sharper knife so he can enjoy slices of tomatoes and doesn't have to cut them into 2 lumps?!

"Brown bread. Wholemeal" *holds wholemeal brown bread* This is a good example of that.

Not a single soul. This guy: "Bread was never meant to be triangular".

When you put this much thought and care into your sandwich, every one is going to taste like it's the best you've ever had

There’s something inspirational about this. I’m so particular about how I make my sandwiches. I load them with so many things and am very specific with how those things go on my sandwich. This man does the exact opposite, doesn’t put a ton of stuff on it and doesn’t really care how everything sits. Beautiful.

"this lettuce is grown lowkualleee" gets me every time.

Who knew the real sectarian divide in the island of Ireland was actually between those Staunch Triangularist Breadmen and Dissident Square Breadmen.

The Ham is B O I L E D

Mícheál if from my neck of the woods. He's an absolute gentleman and a national treasure 💚💚💚

I'm not going to memorize those incantations just for a sandwich.

Can't get bored, I've seen this 6.9 million times

I like how he calls triangle sandwiches modern as if people haven’t been doing that since the 1870s (at the very least that’s the earliest I’ve found recorded but I would be shocked if weren’t doing that as soon as they moved from the bun to sliced bread) People have been cutting sandwiches like that longer than the sandwich existed before that

I'll bet, when he carelessly tosses one of these together at 2am, it's a damn Bob Ross masterpiece. It only looks bad right now, because he's not used to doing this while sober.

Everybody gangsta at lunch untill this guy arrives with his perfect square sandwiches

It’s a man that knows what he wants, I respect that.

So I’m just assuming we all gotta have a whole cooked ham lying around at home

Man this wizard makes a mean sandwich, I love at 1:13 when he summons the tomatoes with that ancient enchantation. Gotta be careful when using tomato magic tho.

I just realized that he is describing the sandwich as if it doesn’t exist, or that it is a figment of his imagination and wildest dreams (“it would be” “it would be cut”)... and yet, at the same time he is also making it. Literally his dream becoming reality in front of us all.

Dude Irish brown bread is genuinely crazy good

I’ve literally watched/listened to this video almost every night for about a year, and I still can’t get over how he cuts the tomatoes and then the sandwich at the end😩

1950: there will be flying cats. 2019: the bread must be cut in squares, not triangles.

my favourite part is when he fully acknowledges that some sort of substance would help hold that nightmare together but straight up doesn't add it

this might be my favorite video on youtube!

I’ve never been so relaxed by anyone I’ve disagreed with this much

I feel like he sumoned a demon right before he cut his sandwich.

1:12 The other thing I do then is a couple tomatoes 1:31 a couple ones 2:24 another piece there, and another piece on that side 3:05 the cut now (i think) and with that it's done 3:31 everything 3:36 so that's it I'll translate any Irish bits in this vid

Irish Gentleman: "Never cut sandwiches diagonally" Nick Fury: Damn right

I have literally watched this video at least 500 times. I've had in my 'Watch Later' folder for over a year and I share it periodically.

he is an irish gaelic football commentator fyi

Lol this guy said he was just gonna replay his favorite parts of the video and just ended up repeating the whole thing.

I can taste that freakin' sandwich through the screen. Often times simple is best. If the ingredients are quality, you don't need much.

This man is blessing his sandwiches with elvish prayers, livin his best life.

I love how somewhere out there is a TV producer who declared that there just aren't enough sandwich making segments out there.

Off camera he eats triangular sandwiches and flogs himself

I so loved that video! I am so intrigued now!!

This guy is salivating as he's talking about his sandwich. You can hear him swallowing a couple of times and his consonants sound very wet.

“Substance to it” he said as 43 gallons of his saliva poured out onto the ham

Brown bread, W H O O O O L L E M E A L D L

This was truely inspirational. Thank you

Oh damn, the tingles hit for the first time in months for me.

His last name is the WiFi password

"I'm not a regular sandwich maker" says man with really specific ways on how a sandwich should be made.

You know I'm something of a philosopher myself 2:57

Such a proper gentleman...his sandwich looks amazing.

He said he’s not a sandwich maker... he wasn’t lying

When that tomato fell I shed tears