The joke about being single with five cats always makes me laugh. I love cats and that was fully my plan. But then I found my husband who loves me AND our five cats! ❤😊
I also found a husband who loves me and my cats! That’s actually how I knew he was the one because he told me that if I came to visit, I could bring my cats 🐱.
RU-vid recommended this video on my feed and it's a great rec, for once! This is women's empowerment. I love your thoughts on women providing for themselves, regardless of relationship status. I, personally, will have fun with men I encounter, but I love being single and I can't ever consider a man on the same level of importance as me. I'm on my Eartha Kitt, never compromise program. That's what works for me :)
I thoroughly enjoyed this video. I love how fondly you speak about your husband. That’s how I want to feel and that’s why I’ve stayed single for so long.
As always; I think you were SPOT ON! Could you perhaps make a video on finances for couples? Joint or separate accounts, the implications given different gender roles and navigating this topic in a relationship as a newly wed? Thank you so much for this video and for bringing the perspectives of us high achieving women from low income backgrounds 🙏🏼
10:35 My sister has been married for almost 23 years. They've almost fallen apart a few times, but communication happened, behaviors changed, and their family ultimately won out over each problem.
Thank you so much for making this video. I've come back to watch it again as I'm currently stuck with a decision of whether to continue a relationship or not. This video has been so so helpful in making me think about things from a different perspective 💜
Thank you for talking about the “women expire at 30” trope. I turned 31 yesterday and have been feeling like this, but have also discovered the decentering men side of the internet. I’m at the point where I’d rather be single forever because it is more peaceful. There is a lot of trash in the sea.
I couldn’t agree more. Maybe because romance novels are my guilty pleasure where couple have just have PURE unconditional love, I have unrealistic expectations of romantic love. Also, because of of every single married couple I’ve seen and my preference for isolation, I never understood the need to get married. I was like “Why should I sign up myself to something torturous when I’m so happy being with myself?” I’ve seen couples - just hating each other - cheating on each other - talking ill or criticizing their partner in front of others (very angrily) - abandoning their family (my own dad)
@@JamFlava1pure projection. It's men crying about how high the standards of women are. They are the ones going overseas to find a girlfriend. They have the "male loneliness epidemic". Also not everyone is going to find their love immediately. This ain't Disney. I genuinely believe I just got lucky
Don’t be a 34- 35 year old woman trying to marry a 34+ SINGLE CHILDLESS COLLEGE EDUCATED FINANCIALLY SUCCESSFUL MAN the research is clear that college women who hold off getting married and having children to wait until they are established in their careers have a significantly decreased chance of finding a suitable mate and having children. Demographics, evolution based mating strategies and fertility science are aligned against the desired outcome unless a woman marries early in her career. If you want a regular dude no problem but this guy is rare , in high demand and he knows it.
The way you talk about your husband at 14:33... That really touched me. I have the same feeling and experience. I had been single for several years before meeting my partner at age 31. I had spent those years by traveling, studying abroad, discovering myself, and also learning to be brave and to take care of my needs. My partner is such a beautiful human being and soul, he respects me, he cherishes me, he's gentle with my trauma triggers caused by growing up with a difficult father. Still, relationships can be hard. It's challenging, it takes effort, time, energy and vulnerability. I cannot imagine doing this with anyone else. As you said, if it wasn't him, then probably nobody. I consider myself to be hell of a lucky girl. ❤. I also remember very well the pressure from the society, parts of my family and even some of my friends to finally "settle down". I was told things like you're too picky, don't wait or all the good ones will be taken, if you don't hurry you'll be too old to have children or even some gems like so you're really want to spend your whole life alone? Honestly, waiting for the right person, trusting my guts and not surrending to the fear and doubts was one of the most important decisions of my life. If you don't want to settle, don't settle. It's not worthy and it does not bring the happiness one usually hopes for.
I have a question. How do males and females bond with each other? I don't see how men and women can bond (especially romantically) with each other. Men and women think very differently from each other. Women can build incredible friendships and become very close to each other in a way men can't bond, and science shows that women can bond very well with each other. Generally, women are even more social than men are. After something bad happens, a woman quickly rushes to talk to all of her female friends to get support, whereas a man can isolate himself and grief alone.
I love your content. If you’re comfortable, can you please share your journey of meeting your husband and the struggle that resulted from trying to marry. Thank you!
I recently had to take a longggggggg deep dive into my life and I realized I was desperate for love just because everyone around me was receiving it and I never received it enough from my parents (emotionally unavailable) and so I would just take anything. But now as I will be 27 on thursday, I said nope! I have been single for 7 years now and this past year taught me more than ever and I am proud and happy to be single. I will not be settling anymore especially when I know I deserve the best, I love this advice ❤
It's really nice that you talked about the hard work that goes into a relationship. Because of social media and movies I often had (sometimes still do have) anxiety that everything that feels difficult in our relationship means something bad, which I now realize doesn't have to be the case. This is my first long term relationship and I am noticing a lot about what I thought was romantic love and what it actually is. What I'm learning is that I need to stop thinking about how things "should" be and focus on what I want and what I think is right.
Initially, I wasn't sure what the message was, but as I listened, I nodded my head several times. You nailed it. This video is so many videos in one: Redflags Self love Standards Green flags Confidence Reasonable expectations Meaning of happiness. Thanks for this gem🎉❤
Actually even if one’s husband loves you more than you love him it could be a lie, either way they can still leave/change their mind/lie anyway. A lot can be love bombing too and also the thrill of the chase.
Girl, you summed up so much how I've been feeling lately. Thank you so much for your realness yet positivity that you have the perfect balance of! I love you
I disagree with the whole 30 year old nobody want you crap however a lot of women and men in general idk if its due to social media or not but we constantly wait until we feel like we can find the Right prefect person in today's western society we have so many options when it comes to dating so i beleive it makes it harder when we do decide to settle down many of us have passed up on potential great partners thinking we can find better the alpha podcast mentioned this as well and with that i definitely agree its a huge problem here in the west
Don’t be a 34- 35 year old woman trying to marry a 34+ SINGLE CHILDLESS COLLEGE EDUCATED FINANCIALLY SUCCESSFUL MAN the research is clear that college women who hold off getting married and having children to wait until they are established in their careers have a significantly decreased chance of finding a suitable mate and having children. Demographics, evolution based mating strategies and fertility science are aligned against the desired outcome unless a woman marries early in her career. If you want a regular dude no problem but this guy is rare , in high demand and he knows it.
That's why we need to talk to people in real life! Not settling doesn't mean letting go of potential great partners but just not settling because of societal pressure. Take your relationship slow and if the other person is a really great potential partner they will not have any problem because they would also love to have a genuine relationship with you.
@@neverstop2493you are describing a bad man who doesn't want to have a partner whom he loves and the partner also loves him back but more of a person who thinks everything as a property. And sorry but people like him are called trash and we don't want to date someone who have that kind of mentality. Any good person would want to date a person who is around their age or just wants to meet a person who they will love and get that love back. But you described a man who is not looking for that so he is already not a potential great partner!!
@@LoveYourself-my9nz life is not s Disney Romantic comedy. The reality is 75 Men obtain a BA degree for every 100 women. there are not enough well educated successful men for all the beautiful women who want one. These men are in high demand and most are attracted to fertility cues :youth and beauty. The average older women are not as desirable to most high value men.The research is consistent Google search ****“Mating markets and bargaining hands: Mate preferences for attractiveness and resources in two national U.S. studies “**** Fale Et al and ****“Mismatches in the marriage market”**** Lichter Et aI. one of latter studies authors Price summarized “results indicate that there does seem to be a large structural mismatch in the marriage market with a shortage of men with college degrees and higher incomes.” “What might be causing this mismatch in the marriage market? Two patterns provide the strongest explanation. First, women are more likely to obtain a college degree compared to men (with women obtaining over 57% of the bachelor’s degrees). Second, ****there is strong evidence of hypergamy with men seeking out a spouse who is younger and has less education.**** The combination of these two patterns leaves a large number of highly educated women with a lower chance of finding a possible match.”…….try to get these guys in college or early in their careers because once they start making big bank it’s a nightmare trying to get these men when you are 34-35 with a rapidly decreasing fertility window. There is a pretty 26 year old who wants the same man and she has a competitive advantage. Them streets is hard.
@LoveYourself-my9nz life is not s Disney Romantic comedy. The reality is 75 Men obtain a BA degree for every 100 women. there are not enough well educated successful men for all the beautiful women who want one. These men are in high demand and most are attracted to fertility cues :youth and beauty. The average older women are not as desirable to most high value men.The research is consistent Google search ****“Mating markets and bargaining hands: Mate preferences for attractiveness and resources in two national U.S. studies “**** Fale Et al and ****“Mismatches in the marriage market”**** Lichter Et aI. one of latter studies authors Price summarized “results indicate that there does seem to be a large structural mismatch in the marriage market with a shortage of men with college degrees and higher incomes.” “What might be causing this mismatch in the marriage market? Two patterns provide the strongest explanation. First, women are more likely to obtain a college degree compared to men (with women obtaining over 57% of the bachelor’s degrees). Second, ****there is strong evidence of hypergamy with men seeking out a spouse who is younger and has less education.**** The combination of these two patterns leaves a large number of highly educated women with a lower chance of finding a possible match.”…….try to get these guys in college or early in their careers because once they start making big bank it’s a nightmare trying to get these men when you are 34-35 with a rapidly decreasing fertility window. There is a pretty 26 year old who wants the same man and she has a competitive advantage. Them streets is hard.
3:44 hit me so hard 😓😓😭 that's literally me. He does pays attention but I guess he is emotionally not there. He works in the same area I live in and also works from home (which is a bit far, and is also in a demanding job ) but I barely see him. He disappears on weekends but gives locations of where he is at with valid "explanations" of what he is up to ( I never asked for this location drops btw). He always wants to touch/kiss etc when we do eventually see each other 🙄 but never really address the elephant in the room/issues that may come up, mostly on my side.
in islam the prophet (pbuh) married a divorced middle aged woman with her own business and spot in politics. it's perfectly normal and shouldn't be discouraged. there's better things to focus on than marriage in this world bruh. not just work but also on your own trauma work and being a less harmful person to the planet and others.
it's kind of worse than 30 is the end. But what is more true is that men want a woman who is at least 10-15 years younger than them, that's ordinary men, not even the rich ones, just the middling sort. And the "quality men" can get any women they want, so they are the main ones saying 30 is it, it's over even if they don't say it out loud, just check out their girlfriends.
There's a story about when couple go to Bali they will break up after going home. I don't know is it real but i saw many people talk about it. They say this is a curse
Thats interesting. Two major relationship coaches influencers I follow and admire recently hosted couples trips to Bali and interestingly enough their recent podcasts have been on how they almost got divorced 😳 never saw it coming.
I am tired of hearing the men don’t date for potential. So men date for other wrong and gross reasons. Can we talk about ourselves without comparing us to men please.
Good message for single ladies. However you are speaking like a newbie at marriage. I am married to a man who I fell in love with and he professed his love in all the ways that felt right. IT felt RIGHT. But as time went by due to his priorities in life and mine and circumstances we have become bitter and that LINE you said have been crossed many times. I am not getting a divorce for the sake of our baby but its getting hard. Marriage is hard work.
I just wanted to say that your videos are so good. Like I enjoy watching them so much! I will continue watching your videos no matter what and hope support you to!❤️
If they’re an single woman, the problem is them, it’s really simple. I don’t think any guy want a leftover woman these days. Especially woman who is 34+ still single, it’s really a red flag…..No husband, no children by that age is extremely red flag. That’s my opinion…..
Not everyone wants a husband or kids or to marry someone by certain age just for the sake of meeting society standards or red pill bro standards 🙄you sound very arrogant
@@artbygilik Arrogant made me successful in real life. By the way, I have to admit you have some nice drawings, you have some talent, skills which I can admire about your work.
