untitled 4 [forever] 

on the last note i played for this song, my piano died, so i decided to wrap it up there.
--
what i would do if i wasn’t here.
before i die (go back) i have to create something of value and meaning that i could only create with the amount of time i have now. i’m wasting away right now, consuming mindlessly, with no end in sight. in two days i’ll be different, i’ll be going at it with some purpose. i’ll pick up a guitar like i invented it, playing every sound that comes from my mind and tying it all together like a bow that a clerk wraps for you on christmas eve. every note i play on a piano will ring like it’s never rung before. i’ll do something valuable, something i’ve always wanted to do, just to prove that i could do it, that i’m actually good at something in my life, and that i won’t have to be stuck being mediocre at a more socially acceptable skill.
i just have to wake up tomorrow.
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