Gotta say, I really appreciate the way you make your videos. They're concise, you show us concrete examples of how to apply your advice, which makes it easy to see that it's actually good because we can see the improvement in the writing samples, and the recaps are a very helpful summary.
I have a war veteran POV character with PTSD and I try to describe things through the lens of that. Using words that evoke a military feel and focusing on details like the strategic structure of the landscape, the arrangement of buildings, city defences and how people move/act as if during a war. I think it works pretty well, different people are going to focus on different details and interpret them differently. It's like it makes the narrator less detached from the character. I have 2 POV characters so I want to try avoiding details that the character isn't going to care about or notice in that moment to help make them feel distinct.
The small details make a big impact. Hemingway was a master of the small details, sensory details; the feel of the fishing line on his finger and thumb ... what does it FEEL like.... it is hot... what does the heat FEEL like... simple details take the reader Out of Their Head and into the story being told. You have demonstrated a mastery of story. Thank you. like
I was going to say I actually liked the "more distant" version you wrote with the snow scene because it could serve a specific purpose---and then you mentioned how it could be used as an establishing shot, and I was like bingo. Also, you're a fantastic writer! I really enjoy the details you choose and how intentional your word choice is!
I totally get it, I’d already filmed most of this video and my wife said to me ‘I feel like that can be a useful way to set a scene though’ and I instantly knew she (like you) was absolutely right ☺️ Thank you so much for watching!
Love this advice, as always! In my current book, the story is gelling (there are a few other small things I want to change developmentally) but up next is a deep line edit - some of my lines truly make me cringe as they keep us far away! These examples are wonderful and very helpful to reference as I fix up some of these slapdash lines 😂😂 and make them more sensory and vivid
I've had a lot of lines like that in mine as well. No matter how many edits I do, I still seem to find stuff that makes me wonder what I was trying to do! :D
Great tips. Thanks Kieren. Through my novice eyes, what you describe appears to be related to the "show don't tell" idea. I'm stuck on my story at the moment. Rather than getting a sad on, I carried on practicing and knocked up a scene based on the painting Nighthawks by Edward Hopper. Here's a paragraph. I hope I'm close to what you describe in your vid. "Concealed in shadow, he took in the scene before him. During daylight hours this part of town would see a reasonable amount of activity. Now, it gave off a shabby appearance with an atmosphere that suggested a time and place best avoided. Thankfully, the light spilling out from Phillie's Diner stabbed sharply into the gloom, softening as it reached out across the sidewalk and beyond - giving an almost cozy feel." Feel free to rip it apart folks. 😆
Thank you for all your writing advice! I've been watching your videos for some time now and I feel like it has greatly improved my writing. You explain things in a way that's easy to understand and the examples are very helpful too! Thank you so much for doing what you do, so I can improve at what I love to do! 🙂
Basically, you need not only to describe the scene but also give the feelings of the character. This will push the reader deeper inside the story because he/she will probably emphasize and build a strong connection between him/her and the protagonist. Am I right?
Yeah! But of course this is just my approach, there's no one way to do things with writing, but I think this is a really solid approach that will work for a lot of writers.
@@KierenWestwoodWriting I can see it. Indeed I'm struggling a bit with it. Thinking in my native laguange would be also the same. If you do not put feelings inside the story telling it would look really weard. I'm reading my story right now and each paragraph is getting a pain in the axx. To add these feelings is a quite difficult tasks.
It is difficult for sure, but just occasional mentions are enough, it doesn’t have to be absolutely everywhere. With none at all though, the writing won’t feel as immersive in my opinion.
I think telling is good for skipping boring parts, but it should be used the bare minimum. The question I learnt to ask myself is: how can this episode be lived "live"? Instead of narrating the course of, say, a week, It's better to pick the best moment to narrate live, as it happens for the characters. I'm glad you, a way more experienced writer, agree with me. Ty for the video, btw
I think you're describing what John Gardner has termed psychic distance in the Art of Fiction--at least that's partially what I suppose you mean. Another great video on an important subject. Thank you.
Hey man, I’m not too sure truthfully. It’s finished and I’ve been through four drafts, but decided to give trad pub another attempt so could be a while! If I get no luck there I’ll publish it myself for sure ☺️
sometimes i tend to think. How can I write what the character sees, hears, thinks etc if I'm not physically there. But then again that is the same thing as reporting. But my mind tends to sometimes drift of into those thought patterns when thinking about writing. But when actually writing i tend to find my self just writing what comes to mind, cause how can you experience what a character might be feeling, thinking or experiencing. it's just a question that often stumps me when actually thinking about writing. However, i find that you can just try to think of how something a character might be interacting with may feel like and even how the character is experiencing a particular situation or circumstance. But if I can't i don't try and let that stop me and just try to latch on to parts of my story that i might be able to know what it may feel like.
Absolutely, none of us can really see things exactly as they would be because we're essentally making all this stuff up. But, if there's just one detail you can imagine, that's the one you use and you bring to life. Sometimes there isn't anything and that's alright. Maybe in a second draft you'll think of something, maybe you'll add something else further along or before that.
I think it comes down to having a well-established character voice in your narration. If you can really dial that in and find a style you find feels natural, it’ll be easier. Good thing is if you don’t get it quite right first time you can revise it in editing, don’t let it slow you down ☺️ I mean…tell your friend ☺️
