Goodness, this is so concise and perfectly worded. With my dad, it translates so well. For example, in his moderate stage, He was always in charge of prepping, lighting, and cleaning the bbq while I cooked after my mom had passed. One day during a moment, he was just squirting lighter fluid onto the side of the grill and the ground spreading fire. Thankfully I caught it. But then the next day he realized what he did and tried to fix what he burned up. As time passed, when he would prep the grill, it would be all wrong: charcoal, then foil, then grill, then foil again. I stopped grilling due to all that. The stair analogy is spot on. We’d have a normalcy then a big drop over and over. Looking back there were symptoms I missed, just given to age. But as things got more extreme, it was clear something was wrong. I do wonder if it was long term mixed dementia as he literally gave himself a stroke, refusing to take blood pressure meds for a time. It was such a rapid progression once diagnosed amidst the Covid. Tho crazily he almost got his drivers license renewed at the start. The key happened when he ended up in a car accident.. I was hiding his keys by then but he found them and tried to take off when I ran an errand and crashed..The ER had him scanned and found the irregularities in his brain. He also showed CHF when we went to his pcp for a follow up. It was so hard. He was stable-ish. But that paranoia was real. The full gamut showed up one day, police, fire, ambulance cause he was freaking out thinking my mom’s body was in the house after her journey with cancer. That journey ended YEARS before. And the hostility was strong versus me versus his fave, my brother. Heck, last week of his life, he remembered him but forgot who I was even tho I was the one taking care of him. Ah well. It is hard for everyone.
My husband has vascular dementia and I care for him 24/7. Our lives have been turned upside down. It is difficult sometimes not to argue and correct him so I found your tips so helpful. Thank you.
I am just learning how to deal with this dimension with my mother 24/7 it's difficult to watch her go down it's hard cuz I don't want to argue with her but I do. She is got there vascular cerebral dementia. I also take care of my brother 24/7 I have been doing nursing group 21 years but not with my own family so they don't listen to me they don't do what I say they don't respect me and I walk away and I'm tired of arguing repeating myself with my mother I will not put her in a nursing home she will not be taken care of properly, they say she was she wont. Said arguing with her and try to explain things 25 times I just walk away I just get frustrated and walk away it's a losing battle become a problem also ⁰ bathroom issues she's not retaining the commands that I gave her to do and it's costing a lot of money for supplies and she just doesn't remember what to do if she remembers food she remembers when it's time to eat she remembers how to hold the quicker but down and mess the TV up she remembers to has for a drink. She has no patience she's up and down back and forth and just keeps asking me to do this and do that I've got my brother to tend to he needs medications she needs medication I do three meals a day there's dishes appointments, there's medicine to give there are dishes to do showers to do commodes to empty regular stuff that a CNA nurse does. And I've been doing nursing for 30 years. But when you do it for your you don't survive on what you get or you don't get appreciated for it there's no time for myself I can't get involved in groups cuz there's no time there's the dog my brother wheelchairs commodes and it's a doctor appointments pt ot visiting nurses coming they both have walkers they absolutely will do nothing to help their and I'm running ragged with no help if I had just one person to take care of it be great but I have two of them youngest sister so course I have to do it. My older sister is running the money she has epilepsy medical issues but I'm on the back burner and my brother and brother do not seem to appreciate what I do they expect it and it kills me and I get angry have no outlet I have no time to go to meetings I have no time to be on the phone everything revolves around then. And I get resentful and hateful. My mother has always been about money food care about how you feel she doesn't care if it inconveniences you just do it now now now now now to the point where I just feel like collapsing and I have no help that's no way to get help we have no money it's not funny she has no sympathy or empathy She is expecting it hurts me and it kills me and neither one of them will do things for their self when they can
@@margaretlittle6800 My thoughts and prayers are with you I know exactly how you are feeling. Sadly my husband passed away a few months ago peacefully at home in my arms. And as difficult as the past few years were caring 24/7 for him and I put my life on hold, the only regret is that yes I did loose my patience at times and often thought that I couldn't cope any longer and also times when I thought I don't want to be a carer. But I am so glad that I was able to care for him at our home til the very end. Be strong Margarete there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you for this. We made this channel for my 71 yo mother with vascular dementia. I hope it makes some of you smile while you're on this journey too. ru-vid.com/show-UCo20M7Vb-2zOG1ZnFElI41Q
Excellent information and well presented. On days that are more frustrating…I walk out on our deck, take a deep breath and say “Dear God, help my mouth and his brain”.
Even though I was a En all my life and the last 10 years of my nursing years was spent working with people with all sorts of dementia. My hubby died of multiple dementia with vascular Desease and Alzheimer’s I still wish I had been able to listen to your talks I think it would have helped me help John so much more .John passed away in hospital where he had been since Sept 16 2022.after his 2nd stroke . He passed away on the 24/10/22.After listening to your talk I now know there was so many more things that I could have done.and hadn’t. One thing don’t ever think that each person is the same as another all are different.Thank you for your video.
This video was excellent. Your peaceable voice was especially nice to hear since this topic can be rather stressful. Your tips on dealing with dementia folks- especially about how to deal with potential arguments helped me a lot. So much practical information. Thank you!
Mom passed one month shy of her 5 yr anniversary of diagnosis. Very much stair steppish. I am her eldest daughter and was her caregiver. She has a two month final decline and was in a nursing facility for a little over one month as she needed 24/7 care. Just down the street, I was there everyday, twice a day. The biggest impairment was thinking, reasoning. She loved to be comfortable and watch tv. I missed the mom I knew all my life. That started about 2 1/2 years in. Her passing was very peaceful and I had the honor and strength from God to sit with her as she prepared to leave us for heaven. She also had hospice for about 3 years which continued even until when she went to the nursing facility. The little girl in me is stirring as she was so very attached to mom as a little girl. I miss her, we’re having Celebration of Life gatherings ( one was Friday with hospice team and her caregiver friend who stayed two days a week with her) and one back home with family and friends. I take it a day at a time and do not push myself in this time of grief. Mom was 78.
My husband has vascular dementia!! He is also sight impaired and wears hearing aides . It was totally different to try and deal with care because a lot of things we couldn’t do because he couldn’t see!! He was also combative! He thought I was a man and didn’t know who I was because he couldn’t see ! I explained to him what I was going to do to help and when he forgot to walk we had to put him in a nursing home !! I never wanted that to happen
So many people are never given a diagnosis of anything. They are given a blood thinner, statins and blood pressure medication and the conversation is ended. I never hear anything about dehydration, a diet of healthy greens, low or no sugar diets. I just spoke with a woman in the seniors apartment and she takes medicine 4 times a day - i believe for parkinsons and doesn't drink any water. How can we say we are helping people if we are not addressing every aspect of health? I asked a neurologist questions about a study saying atorvastatin contributed to dementia and he was insulted that i even would question the medications? We have a very unhealthy healthcare system. Please keep researching everything when it comes these topics.
I have Vascular Dementia due to a stroke some years ago and have just been told I also have Alzheimers. The hardest thing was being told I can no longer drive the car. No family. Thanks for your presentation. ❤
i just lost my sister last month September 10th after 2 years and 5 months after she was diagnosed with vascular dementia ,, the dementia progressed so bad this year January 2021 , she stopped talking, walking, and was so helpless, i was her caregiver , as a brother i went through so much heartbreak seeing my darling sister fall to pieces ,in front of me , i saw the drop falling so bad, i refused to get the help for counselling,when they offered me, now that she is gone, i am hit with a big wall, i was there for her till the last, i played all the hymns she like to hear, took her for walks while she was still in the nursing home,, my sister girlie was only 77 years and 10 months when she died,
I lost my mum this September,exactly like you it was painful for me to watch her going from stage to stage .I am glad that her soul is free from this dreadful desiese. Try to relax and think positive.!!!!
@@antoanetaanastasova3946 thank you for reaching out, i am so heart broken, and i am tearing up writing this, i was the caregiver for my sister,, i saw her going down so bailey ,, its heartbreaking
@@JP-he6rq I was grieving my mum through every stage of her dementia journey and I saw the death as freedom for her.She was very strong person and I am sure that mum and your sister,if they had a chance to see themselves, they wouldn't like it.Try to talk to her,it is very calming because she could not talk I miss the conversations so much.
@@antoanetaanastasova3946 thank you so much for sharing your information with me, we have a connection, as we both have suffered this lost , and we both have gone through hell with this,i told by the care centre to let her know if she wanted to go, and she understood it, and i had to whip the tears from her eyes,, even the food was not consuming, she was only 65lbs at the time of her death, just a bag of bones,, i am suffering so much at this point,, now i have reach out for help, and i fully understand what u have gone through, my sister was girlie was 77 years and 10 month when she died,,, i am thankful to god for the years she had with us on the earth, and she didn't do that good for the past 3 months before she died,
You made it so simple to understand when you used the word CANCER as the umbrella to all types of cancer… brilliant! I’ve wrestled with confusion in understanding DEMENTIA as the umbrella to all types of dementia. You put it all in a clear and simple comparison! Thank You!
Excellent lessons learned. Our journey with our loved ones is only half over by the time it's clear to us that vascular dementia is the disease. We're not always prepared to detach ourselves in the beginning stages because we believe the symptoms to be a factor of extreme age in some cases. Our loved ones need help but we as caregivers are the ones who 'can' be helped through education, training and attitude. I look forward to learning more. Kindest regards
My mother in law has vascular dementia from three minor strokes. She is having psychotic depression as well. We are having a hard time caring for her. This youtube clip is very helpful to us. It helps us understanding what she is going through. Caring a dementia person can be draining when we have little understanding of this condition. One day she seems fine and logical and the next day she can be illogical, paranoiac and delusive. Its hard to handle her when she gets agitated and refuses to cooperate with daily cares. Thank you for your clip.
I have some of the same issues. I try to do what I can. I keep the person hydrated because I have read in the comments that can add to the confusion. I also try to eliminate sugar. I am also giving some beet juice. You can google and see if any of this makes sense for you. All the best to you.
Brilliant presentation! Tips for understanding and better interaction are priceless! Thank you - tho mother in law is now moviing into residential care there are many situations I can handle better now after watching this video!
Your video has been absolutely amazing I just would like to have a little bit of help with the part of vascular dementia where my hallucinations are very very aggressively violent accompanied by Tourette's on steroids how do I manage that because it occurs in the place where I'm not able to walk away come back and restart it's when it is in the toilet or the shower and when we getting out of bed we are both getting injured me trying to downplay the behaviour and him thinking somebody is attacking him
This was a wonderful presentation. I'm cr6ing as I listen to it because my mother had Alzheimer's and I feel like I might be in the early stages. Even though my symptoms are similar to vascular dementia, I just had a heart EKG and stress test and it doesn't show there's anything wrong with my heart. I have not had a stroke or heart attack. My mother had lots of TIAs and died from a stroke at age 71, my age. I live alone in Mexico and have no one that will care for me. Frankly, I'm trying to come up with a plan B
Thanks for your best advices ,I knew what I have to deal with , but some time I lost my patient, got upset then I felt sorry myself, After watched your video I will be patient more no matter how it is !😢
My mom has had vascular dementia for years and nobody told her, including her doctor or my siblings. I live out of state and came to visit my mom after the pandemic . Now 2 years later, I haven’t left seeing how bad her dementia is and telling family what’s happening with her. I guess when you spend only 20 minutes visiting with your parent, you wouldn’t notice. I’m so peeved. But it is what it is. But why didn’t her doctor spend more time with my sibs telling them what’s going on, that she shouldn’t drive, that she needs help with her medications etc…? Erg!!!!
My mother has Cerebrovascular Disease and there is some signs that she also has Vascular Dementia. My brothers are not really able to accept it, they keep looking for reasons to believe there is no dementia. I just spent six weeks nursing my mother after a short stay in hospital, I am exhausted. I hope to 'find my team' before it's too late!
Thanks for all t his very good information. Family member is moderate stage and very challenging with only one daughter close by. Family helping with all tasks and is a hard thing.
Thank you so much for this video!!! I'm putting together the blueprint for the memory care and caregiver care center for communities around the world and I've been desperately seeking an occupational therapist with your knowledge and heart - I will be in touch and hopefully we can talk asap!
Wish our doctors had made the distinction. He had a diagnosis of Alzheimers, turns out it's mixed. I noticed the stair drop pattern, then I had to research and try to learn about the differences on my own and how to deal with it all..
My mom n law can in no way even begin to tell me how she's feeling or even what she's thinking. She thinks all her dead relatives are still alive. She's 79 and thinks she's 50. It's truly individual. Because she still understands humor. Loves music. But other than that she's 10 second Tom. But I literally have to do everything for her. 😊
My husband has had 2 major open heart surgeries. The first he had 5 arteries totally blocked..3 main. 2 minor. He was living on 3 minor arteries.. He appeared fairly normal. On occasion he would insist was not so. It was weird... Frightened me. He seemed to come out of it... 4 yrs ago he needed valve replacement... And aorta wrap.. as it was bulging... He recovered well. He's not acting as you described... He has major anger outbursts.. agitated.. mad at me.. always. He is not anything as you describe as to self care...... I just don't understand... I'm blamed for any issues in our relationship... Seems he hates me.... Now he's developed other major health issues... praying he won't have all you have spoken of......
I feel for your situation & understand what you are going through, my situation is similar but every human being is different. With each illness ray comes along something else comes with it, my husbands decline started when he was 59 I’ve looked after him for 20 yrs, so please hang in there your doing your best x
You seem exhausted, you need help. If you become depressed you cannot help him. Seek a family member or friend that can you. If your husband is aggressive he needs help from someone else. Maybe he can be in a care Center for some hours so you can rest. Wish you all the best. 🇸🇪
@@ladyanne8139 am praying for you, genuinely relate to what you are going through. If I had a $1 for every time someone said ‘get help’ or ‘you need help’ I could have afforded help 😵💫 In my county I was able to get him approved for some respite care, perhaps you can locate Senior Resources in your area, or through your insurance or Medicare / if applicable. A big hurdle was that time it took to be approved & be on a waiting list. During Covid they had staff stretched thin. The next challenge was his refusals ‘we’ needed help (he was very combative)followed by eventually ending up in hospital for 3mths then passing away. Had he discharged after rehab therapy to get stronger, we would have desperately needed assistance in addition to home healthcare. I wish you well… from one long-time caregiver wife to another🙏
@@barbarasumby325 same, first my in-laws with Alzheimer’s then overlapping with my hubby becoming disabled with several co-morbidities… he turned 62 in Sept during his 3mth stay in the hospital. I was beyond burnt-out and am now getting help for me, when he passed 3wks ago my grieving is coupled with feelings of guilt from relief. Grateful for videos like this that arm us with more information to ask Drs about or support us in a number of ways.
My husband had cardiomyopathy. He fought it for 27 years and died at age 81-1/2 yrs. I was told I had cardiomyopathy 5 yrs ago. Last yr started having Tia's. What can I expect? I was told husband's disease was caused by a virus. Not so mine.
Hi again Heather, Mom says she's weak & perfers to use the wheelchair instead of walking with her walker. We are afraid she will forget how to walk. What would you suggest? We don't want to push her to do something she doesn't want to do or feels like doing.
I am attempting to help a family member with what I think is vascular dementia. She has never received an official diagnosis but I am curious what the doctors have told you concerning any lifestyle changes and what medications they have given the patient and what the results were. I think that we are sometimes fighting battles alone and I would like to share information if anyone is willing to reply.
Hi Heather, From what I've learned here. Mom is in the Moderate Stage. Mom sleeps a lot. We do have her on med's so she will sleep at night or she's up all night. My sister works from home & I'm in a wheelchair so I can't do much with her. Is sleeping a lot normal for those with Monderate Dementia?
My mother in law's doctor said she has "hardening of the arteries" when speaking of her dementia symptoms. I haven't heard that term for 40 years when it was discussed in my Grandparent's time.!!! Was this doctor ignorant or just lazy?
Excellent description for the patient as well. I’ve recently been diagnosed with VM and I’m now horrified about the indignity of my future every time I’m aware of my disfunctions. My daughter says I’m a hypochondriac. How can she contribute to my care?
