( I am not trying to dumb this on anyone I just wanted to share my feelings, this is a vent, I apologize if I triggered anything for anyone) I watch these for some twisted motivation that never gets acted upon, to feel I not only have others who feel the same and I can come out with it but then I realize I can’t because I’m scared that I’ll be called a liar or even be told my problems are not as bad as others, because I’m over reacting, because I’m just copying others. And then I look and see this is a result of me, all my problems; everything because of me, I just make everything up and force it upon others trying to blame it on SOMEONE because I can’t fathom ME being the reason behind all of this, because that is just simply impossible it HAS to be someone else; I’m not prepared to be told it’s my fault because it couldn’t be my fault? I was the kid I am a kid I can’t be blamed for this it has to be others fault it has to, I couldn’t cause all this self suffering? Right? Right…? Yeah it has to be someone else :)
Your never the problem it gets better trust me it’s just little by little and you have to do it every day that’s the hard part. Take care I love you ❤️
I hope it’s alright to say something but I am just telling you my opinion, I don’t think anything is your fault. There is times, and it just so happens to be a lot of the time, where things are out of your control. Also, the things that have happened and is happening to you is just as valid as someone else. I know it’s hard to trust someone on the internet but you have every right to be affected by the things that have happened to you, and please never be afraid to reach out and ask for help.
*Disclaimer* : VERY LONG It’s a suggestion Don’t feel pressured to do this :) I think that it’s a mix of both, see there’s no way of knowing who’s causing it because it’s such a weird ratio of both you causing it and other people causing it. But there’s one factor that is always for sure, time and environment. Ask yourself: - When did it all start? - What was the initial problem back then? Was it stress of homework? Stress of friends? Stress of family? - Was there any trauma that happened before this sudden flood of mental instability? There are always an answer to those questions, because they’re frozen in time. Now, once you find your answer for at least two of them; look for a way to help yourself. Don’t look into the cause of your problems right now because it’ll spiral into you thinking it’s your fault or it’s everyone’s fault, it’s messy and there’s a lot of gray areas. Don’t try to find one singular cure, find multiple treatments. Mental stresses (depression, anxiety, numbness, etc) change through time, some “treatments” or self-care last longer than others but can never last forever. It may sound unfortunate and unfair but take your past attempts of treatment as experience to educate others on how to help themselves feel better. But in the end, you’re doing great. It may seem like your issues are stretching out for too long, but this comment you made is progress. Progress means you’re moving forward. I’m proud of you for that, I hope you are to 💙
1:42 for anyone who wants to hide scars but still want to swim, i recommend a long sleeve swim shirt and board shorts. it also helps with the anxiety that comes with swimming
I hope everyone is ok please make sure to eat and drink water know that I love and care for you and u are not alone keep going you got this I know words cannot stop ur pain but I will try I love you
I've been going through a very hard time in my life and I just want you to know that you did help me a little bit so ty for that and I hope you the best of luck! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
i always feel better after watching these since i know that the people making the tiktok’s have it worse so it makes me know that what i’m going through isn’t as bad as what other people are
I started feeling insecure at 6 years old and I wish I could’ve lived my childhood without hating my body, my mom just encouraged me to hate my body. 8 years old was the year that my mom bodyshamed me the most and I went paralyzed in one leg for a couple of days because of her overworking and she laughed at me when I was limping. I hate this. Now, I feel fat after eating and I just want to stop eating but I still want to eat without getting full after 1 meal. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had 3 balanced meals. My breakfast (IF IM ACTUALLY AWAKE IN THE MORNING WHICH IS RARE)is usually water , my lunch (IF IM AWAKE DURING LUNCH TIME WHICH IS RARE)is kool aid, and my dinner is usually balanced but it makes me so full and fat for the rest of the day, maybe when I start school again I’ll get out of this cycle, I definitely won’t eat breakfast still but maybe I’ll eat lunch and dinner.
@MarsBars🍪🍭 I’m sorry you’re going through that, my advice is don’t listen to her berate you like that. If you ever need to talk, I’m here and I’ll gladly listen.❤️
I was just watching this and I kinda screamed at 3:16 Be More Chill (The musical where the sound of that video came from) is my special interest and I relate to the main character (who’s singing) a lot throughout the musical. I named myself after him and it just made me happy to hear :)
TW: VENT when i was younger, i was pure, i was also stupid for thinking ppl liked me, i remember i used to cry behind a tree everyday cus i was alone, a couple years later i found out i was the ''dont talk to them they r weird kid'' im used to that now tho, but, i thought we were friends, they we so significant in my life and i was nothing to them, dozens of ppl flash before my eyes when i have meltdowns, ppl i had to leave, who loved to leave, who didnt want to leave. Including the one person who knew i was weird but still hung out with me, years later they left effortlessly, i just fucking wish that i meant something, that i wasnt that weird kid who cries behind trees to them, because they mean so much to me now, even if half of them were so mean, but among those ppl, is me, me? maybe idk anymore, that used to be me, but she died, and now idk whats left, idk what i act like, idk what i like, dislike, idk even know my personality, im a shell of what i used to be, she would be so disappointed in me, and this particular line makes me break down every time cus it just reminds me of that '' And ill use you as a warning sign,that if you talk enough sense then youll lose your mind.'' - I Found by Amber Run
Oh? You think your "chubby"? It makes you look adorable! Oh? Your "to skinny"? I think it makes you look beautiful! Oh? You don't like your body? You have that body for a reason! ❤ Just remember, When your angry/sad/emotional, your skin isn't paper and you are not a punching bag for yourself. Find something to do, draw your vent art/art or do something you like that distracts you. And remember, please eat something and have healthy portions!
tw: intrusive thoughts, mention of sh imma be honest w yall ive been thinking of this intro for the whole day and me basically convincing myself to get thru the scoldings today so that i can hit myself and cry later now i can barely speak cause i feel like i wanna throw up so this popping up on my feed just haha
i feel sad when i watch this video even i dont have any bad parent, anxiety, depression or mental issues. stay strong for who had any bad parent, anxiety, and depression. also free virtual hug for u guys
tw this is a vent. please don’t read if you are sensitive with: feeling like you aren’t in control, and body issues. stay safe ❤️ those feelings have been coming back and i don’t like them. you know, how there’s a voice on the back of your head telling you what to do, and you don’t feel in control with your body. it’s coming back. and i’ve been feeling like the therapist friend more and more but theres nothing i can do about it because they have their feelings and i should listen. and i’ve been doing worse and worse but i don’t want people to help me because recently all they have thought about were my feelings and u want th to go back to normal because i want to deal with it myself i don’t want the attention. i want to be left alone but i don’t and everything is annoying and it isn’t and i’m annoying and i hate my body and myself and everyone is doing so much better than me and i’m thinking to much and i’m not i don’t know what to do.
Just something I need to let out, but I remember that when I was around 8 or 9, I used to cry a lot because I have anxiety over everything and would panic when something bad happened. It got worse when my stepdad would ask why I cried, and I would respond with "I don't know" because I didn't know why. When I said that, he would half the time tell me to calm down. But the other half of the time, he would tell me "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" and if you were like me, you would know how hard it is to stop crying while panicking and then being threated. So I would continue, knowing what the outcome would be. I would be hit by his hands and belts because I wasn't able to keep it under control. Now, at the age of 14, I am physically unable to cry, even when I'm alone, and along with this, I am mentally breaking down and trying my best to hide it with my low amount of energy to do anything. I watch these as an escape, as a way to distract myself from my thoughts of SH that I use to punish myself for not being good enough for myself, and for being a self proclaimed failure. I am so tired of my life.
You don’t have to believe me when I say it’s going to be ok, heck, I wouldn’t even believe myself. But life is kinda like longitudinal waves, no matter how low you go or how bad life is, if you get back up then life will be just as good as it was bad. Sometimes you need the bad parts to make the good parts more memorable.
I want nothing more than to comfort these poor people, I'm not the best at advice but I wanna be there for everyone having a rough time :( stay safe everyone
if sum1 tells u ur too young to have a mental illness, i was physically, mentally, and verbally abused since the age of 9. i currently live with my mom and dad. i have gotten used to hearing the N word and the word "fag" being used "why is that bad?" were a white family and my mother is pan and im gay. my father is not lgbtq, he's the only one saying fag. i have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. i'm 12 years old rn. you're not too young. bro its 5 am and i just wrote too much
@Sherbert There are probably a lot of people that needed to hear that they aren’t to young. And I’m sorry about what you’re going through and if you ever need to talk, I’m here and I’ll gladly listen ❤️
My straight, white,cis brother says the n slur and the f slur all the time. Plus he says after I transition he'll still call me she on purpose. But "its all just that's just how boys are" and he worships Andrew tate
I'm 11 and my mother tells me that this new generation sucks and that we have no life. We get it. 70s and 80s kids grew up with Oregon trail etc. We aren't 40-50 year Olds. I feel verbally abused. I would have breakdowns at school, but nobody would notice me cause I was so quiet. I get told I'm a waste of money, useless, and a good for nothing girl, and I'm really ugly and will never have a real life. I think I have social anxiety, I would get scared when I was 8 to talk to people. Now I can really feel the symptoms. I can't even smell good 1 day after showering cause I'll just sweat again . Its been 3 years and I just now see this. I grew up thinking : "oh, it's just discipline" Now that I'm older, calling your daughter disgusting, useless , and a sl*t is just not good. I got called a sl*t when I was 8 becausey mothers ex best friends son would force me to watch him pee and do all that stuff. I felt really uncomfortable. Mom seen it and thought I was a h^rny h0e. A few days later, they were talking about lgbtqia+ , and mom said if I were a part of LGBTQIA + , she'd murder me. I felt something for a girl in my class, I'm also a female. I can already see my future is hopeless . Or have no future at all.
@☆ Lazy Gacha ☆ That’s messed up. Have you tried calling child protective services? Also you aren’t useless and I’m sorry that happened to you. You’re a wonderful person and you don’t deserve that treatment. Don’t listen to your mom, she’s just mean. Please, if you can manage to get someone to look into this to get you out of that abusive environment, I’d recommend getting someone to help. I’m not forcing you but I just want you to be safe. If you ever need to talk, I have a vent space on my channel so you can reach out to me there and I’ll try to listen and respond as much as I can. But yeah, I hope things get better ❤️
My favourite thing to do is when ppl ask about my scars I just say it's from my cat. But heh we all know what they're actually from. And then I just found out that I have been hallucinating about the person who's cared for me the most! My twin! He died in our mums womb and I have been hallAucinating that he's still alive.
Vent..... My parents are mentally and sometimes physically abusive I was raped by my uncle staring when I was 6 and ended 1 month ago my uncle killed two of my cats I lost my younger sister to cancer she died in my arms at age 1
I’ve been trying to be more organised since I feel like I do nothing, but no matter how hard I try, my mum and dad always comment on me calling me lazy, messy, greedy etc. I also feel bad cause I don’t try exercise and eat healthy at all. I constantly binge eat and I can’t even shower, sometimes I forget to brush my teeth for weeks. I try really hard to make myself perfect for my parents approval.
well, my parents dont believe in therapists, so i can't possibly go looking for help at this point. they always say, "you have us, why do you need a therapist?" "we can help you. we're your parents, its only natural we love and care about you." but do they? how can i know they care about me when they always switch my venting session into a comforting session for them? why? i would love to comfort someone, because i have gotten used to being the therapist friend/family member for so long, but this feels fucking unbearable when they do this. its weird sharing this online, but its come to a point where i cant do anything else except this. its not like i can vent to my friends, afterall, i am the therapist friend, and i need to feel good about myself for once.
✨ VENT ✨ tw: ed okay so ive had anorexia for about three months now and my parents have only now like found out/forcing me into recovery. i hate it so so much. because rather than focusing on why i did it and stuff theyre just like "eat three meals a day!" and expect that to fix what i went through. when i admitted to my mom that i purge she *rolled her eyes* at me. i hate her sometimes but i also love ny mom so much and i dint want to do. (ill prolly come back to this l8r)
aaa im sorry you dont have much of an understanding family, i feel like they shouldnt FORCE you to eat as it wont help much at all and its too much of a fast "recovery." things like that should take time. trying to "recover" like that might even make it worse, you should take time to recover and get back to eating normally. (no im not telling you this im just saying
5:13 2:25 4:18 Not to be rude or sound like I'm hating on this (which I'm not) But could somebody explain whats happening? I never finished MHA and I saw the Eri things and I got super confused😭😭😭 So I dont know if something happened to her or anything, I'm just super fucking confused... (I'M OK WITH SPOILERS..)
Nah my friend I think people tend to make up scenarios that would happen in MHA, so I don’t think it’s actually Canon and more of those wattapad style stories, though that is my assumption 😊
Vent: TW: Blood, gore I was just crying and my mom said she understands. I felt so angry. Nobody understands, they don't fucking understand! They will never know what I saw that day! Never know how I felt, how I feel! Dammit I miss her! I miss her so goddamn much! I've been trying to ignore it, but when she's brought up in my mind, its a very fresh memory of her shaking and bleeding out. Her name was Jiro. Like that girl in Mha. Not how you spell it but that doesn't matter, that was her name. She was adorable. She loved cuddles and kisses. She loved being under the blanket and she was super curios. She ways came back for more, no matter how many times you pushed her away. Which is what got her killed. She died outside, away from me. She couldn't see me. I can never see her again. They threw her away like a fucking piece of garbage. My kitten. My poor baby, im so sorry. Im so sorry I couldn't protect you, my baby. My dog bit her. SHE WAS JUST A FUCKING BABY!! MY DAD COULD HAVE FUCKING SAVED HER, IF HE HAD JUST FUCKING LISTENED. DAMMIT! Why doesn't any of them just listen to me. I saw the whole thing. She was shaking, and bleeding out. She was dying. In her last moments, I was gone, she was carried outside, and she was in pain. I couldn't save her. I COULDN'T FUCKING SAVE HER!! I was 11 when I saw this. People say it was a horrible accident and a traumatic experience. But they don't understand they never will. I would never wish this on my worst enemy. Never.
Can I get some advice TW My parents are mentally abusive, and it’s really effecting my mental health. It’s about twelve at night and I used makeup to create fake bruises, they look pretty realistic. The reason I made them was so someone would notice it and someone will look into what’s happening at home . Should I wear them to school ( it’s only two they aren’t huge and bright blue , but they look a bit more serious than just bumping into a table ) I kind of would feel bad though because my parents didn’t do the bruises. Even if they are terrible to me they aren’t to that extent. What should I do ?
I wouldn’t recommend wearing the bruises but I would tell someone you trust. I always tell my closest friend about my parents and it makes me feel better since I am not ready to tell an adult.
I have been SA'D, I was close to SH, I was bullied, I had no friends, I have fatherless jokes thrown at me, My dad left me as a kid, my parents fight, my dad was a gross man, I have been threatened to be raped. So when I hear someone cry and I hear them say "I'm gonna cut myself because I was name called online." I know some people get affected by people easily but I feel strong when they say that knowing, I haven't cut myself once, I haven't tried to kill myself, so I feel extremely strong but sometimes I can't. I keep remembering that house. The dinner, the rooms, the kitchen, the place, the living room. and my R@pist.
The beach one i felt, i have a very intense fear of the ocean. its not the water itself, its the fear of what might happen in it; the fear of being lost out there the fear of being alone the fear of drowning the fear of being missed the fear of waiting out in the depths of the ocean, alone ,waitng to die because it feels like no one would come for me.
tw this is a vent. please don’t read if you are sensitive with: feeling like you aren’t in control, and body issues. stay safe ❤️ those feelings have been coming back and i don’t like them. you know, how there’s a voice on the back of your head telling you what to do, and you don’t feel in control with your body. it’s coming back. and i’ve been feeling like the therapist friend more and more but theirs nothing i can do about it because they have their feelings and i should listen. and i’ve been doing worse and worse but i don’t want people to help me because recently all they have thought about were my feelings and u want th to go back to normal because i want to deal with it myself i don’t want the attention
Why to live Family Friends Small talk with strangers The happy moments that only last a few seconds The smiles from small children The memories with animals Eating you favorite food The excitement of the fairs Vacations with your family Getting your first car Graduating highschool Getting into a good college Graduating college Starting your new career path Birthdays The smell of winter Hanging out with friends Job promotions Pumpkin Pie Thanksgiving Dinner Halloween Black Friday Movies Sleep overs Catching your dreams Binge watching on Netflix Homecoming Prom First Date First Kiss Christmas Morning Fireworks New Years New Discoveries Flowers Rainy Days Blankets coming out of the dryer on a cold morning New relationships A nice cup of tea Reading a good book Drinking coffee on an early morning The joy of being sarcacstic Hidden talents Small acomplishments Adeventure The mystery of the fog The fantasy of going to never land Baby showers Weddings The big blue ocean Inside jokes with friends Family reunions walking around with colorful fuzzy socks Being able to wear whatever you want around your house The comfortable silence between two people Doughnuts snow ball fights The tooth fairy Jumping over waves The pure laughter from someone Star gazing Being weird Being diffrent Being unqiue Being Yourself Listening to you favorite song Singing in the shower Being a complete goofball with your best friend Having a good personality The calm before any storm The sound of thunder Looking up at a full moon Imagination The feeling over proudness Baking The smell of coffee in the morning Writing Stories 2-3am talks with someone Rollercoasters Cookies Completing a hard task The sound of the fire cracking on a summers night Naps Walking in the words on a spring afternoon Jumping in leaf piles Climbing trees The moments when you say " Did everyone see that? Cause I am not doing that again" The feeling of wrapping yourself in a fuzzy and soft blanket The look of a made bed Watching the leaves fall Long warm baths The smell of fresh fruit Waking up to no alarm clock Never giving up Seeing a double rainbow Making one with your demons Seeing the sunrise Proving people worng Being able to take risks Being the light in every room that you walk into to, because no matter what people tell you you're amazing in every single way possible. Darling please.. Please stop Sure life sucks but it will get better! Please don’t sh, trust me it sucks, There’s people that love you Please listen to theses words - Life will get better soon I promise.. you can’t vent anytime you need to, Remember I love you darling! ❤️❤️
I don't even know at this point. I barely have any feeling left. It's almost as if I'm just here. And I'm not suicidal I don't think. But if a car was coming at me, I'm not quite sure if I'd get out the way. I hope it makes sense, and it's kinda nice to know there's people that feel the same.
I’m pretty sure you’re suicidal, just in a more passive form. But yk I’m not going to be a hypocrite and say go get help because let’s be honest that’s scary as fuck.
This is a vent. I feel like my feelings are lost I translation. I am very expressional and often get mistaken for being angry, or sad while I’m resting my face. When I try to explain that I’m not angry they always say, “Well you look like you’re mad.” This’ll annoy me because *I KNOW* that you got it from my facial features. Why do I have to be seen as hyper and energetic, and funny..? This is making me hide my emotions, bottle them up, and find outlets to release them. I’ve even told my mom that I have panic attacks and she still doesn’t believe me.. it made me cry and feel like no matter what I say to the people that have known me will treat me the same regardless if I change.
⚠️⚠️TW (possible SA, Gr00ming)⚠️⚠️ so uhm, I’m sorry but… this’ll all probably make no sense but hi? My names indigo, and I’m working with my therapist on recovering my memmories. I’m not exactly sure since it’s still very foggy, but I know it’s a big possibility tht my father sa’ed me when I was about 10. Dcfs has already gotten involved in the past bc for about 10 months when he said gn, it wasn’t how a normal parent would. He would c@ress my sides, rub slow circles onto my upper !nner th!gh, brush his hand slowly across my pu$$¥(sorry I cannot think of a better word- it’s the middle of the night where I am), running his hand along my back and ch3st-under my sh!rt, leaning over me and half laying on top of me. So I’m 100% sure something even bigger happened as a kid, but I can’t tell what. I remember having this super intense fear of anyone seeing my und3r wear. Like- so intense that I’d have nightmares about it and hide it in the bottom of my drawers. I’d just wait in the bathroom for 5 minutes trying to get up the courage to slip it off before getting in the shower. I would wear the same pair for weeks on end just so that I’d never have to take it off, and I’d also wear the same pants so that they’d only have to come off for a few second in the bathroom. My best friend (then and now) was amab (asigned male at birth) so when they’d come over I’d be extra afraid of them seeing. I would run to my room crying trying to beat them there so that even if the underwear was slightly visible i could quickly hide it… I’ve been wondering if this whole terrible fear was because of what my father would do when he saw it? Idk I probably sound crazy, I probably am… and I’m so sorry to write this here, I promise I don’t normally do this type of thing, I just don’t wanna bother my best friend, my girlfriend is on vacation, and I don’t have anyone else I can tell…
It feels like my lifelong best friend is changing so much and I can't keep up with them. I don't even know their pronouns or sexuality or style anymore
i watch these in hopes Someone else will describe my feelings for me. as i can't do it myself, but i know no one else ever will show exactly how i feel becouse they are not me..
1:32 does anyone know this song? :) I heard it a long time ago and forgot the name Nevermind, I found it, it's Everlong by Foo Fighters:) I hope you all have a good day/night!
I don't know if I'm alone. I would get pushed and I get this addrenaline and I punh bite slap pull, and all I think is kill them not "calm down and count :)" it hurts because nobody helps me and when I get yelled at for it my mom always yells at me "WERE TRYINBTO HELP YOU JUST STOP!" like my probldm would magically leave.
Rn I’m reading a book about a girl who always has the urge to cut. It’s scary hard to finish. It hard because every time I read it I feel the need to cut but I haven’t yet. I take pauses between the book so I don’t.
I used to wish that they’re was something wrong with me so people would pay attention to me. Now I’m older, I realise that, it’s not fun to be mentally ill
around 2 weeks ago, my mom asked me whats wrong, i told her shes the problem, and she made a mistake in the past that she cant fix and now that I've been getting worse again, she says all i said earlier was me victimizing myself and wanting attention. what do i even do? i cant even kms at this rate even tough i tried.i am so angry but i cant do anything. she is the one who asked 'what's wrong ******' i never went to her and cried about it, but she still doesn't stop blaming me, that I'm the one victimizing myself and she keeps asking me for a solution. i don't know what to do with this anger. she asked me what went wrong and when i refused to tell her she cut herself in front of me to manipulate me into telling her. i didn't. she cried and cried in front of me saying all kinds of stuff. but to be honest i didn't feel sad about it at all. i didn't feel bad for her cuts, her stress , or her regret for giving birth to me. i didn't mind seeing her cry like i do every single night because of that one mistake she made in the past that didn't effect her at all but changed my whole lifestyle, schedule, mental state, etc. i just watched her cry her eyes out while i simply stared at her. What's the problem with me.she even slapped my one year old sister across her face justifying herself as 'i take out all the stress you give me on her' which she did earlier when i told her whats wrong too. how does she always manage to make me feel like a absolute pice of shit while saying she loves me at the same time. she said that she read online about it and it said that is said that i just want to hide things from the. i dont know what to do I'm a burden to everyone i know. i am good at nothing. people call me crazy because i cut myself to stop myself from crying every night. i try to hide it so well and i do hide it and they are the ones rolling up my sleeves but i still get called the attention seeker. what do i do. I'm so useless and talent less i cant only attempt to even kms.
I honestly hate my life todays was my birthday I was so excited that my dad was going to say happy birthday to me instead he made my hate my self and cry 😭😭😭 he always tells me I gained weight and the fact that I just turned 12 😭☹️
once i had to try to convince a dude to not unalive himself and he "did" it so I left the game (this was on roblox btw) and my friends begge me to come back, and it was a joke. A FUCKING JOKE.? I stilll think about it
i dropped out of college because i tried to kill myself multiple times and almost died from malnutrition and now no one talks to me. all my friends at my old college don’t talk to me and i don’t have any friends here at home so now i’m all alone. i’m so close to relapsing and idk what to do. i feel like my parents hate me because i’m trans and i don’t have anyone in my life to make me feel ok again
To those who cant believe compliments anymore, just calm down. You will understand what they mean. And to those who overthink? Did you ask them, "why"?
Vent reply. Proceed with caution. Do not proceed if you are not in the headspace to. You have been warned. Trigger warning, SH, suicidal ideation, etc cetera. This year from approximately January to late may I had started sh. I never validated it and I always told myself I was just experimenting and I wasn't really hooked or addicted and I did stop recently (june) but i just feel empty now. My mom and her boyfriend and my best friend in the world know now so there's gonna be a lot of people really mad at me if I go back and I'm not as bad as I was then but I miss it. I miss it so much. I dont want to disappoint anyone by going back but I really miss it. It made me really feel validated, as if my emotions were real, like nothing else. And they all tell me it's bad for me but fuck, did any of you all help me more than it did? Did any of you validate me when every other thought in my head was that I should kill myself then and there? When all you can say as to why it's so bad is "it could get infected!!," do you really think I could give a flying fuck after everything else? Mid August I tried again, just three lines, and it didn't feel the same. I was using a different thing but still. I missed it but is it gone now? I just really wanna feel that way again, instead of feeling this empty. And then i feel guilty for it all and it just makes me wanna kill myself all over again. There's no future but endless struggle and work, bills to pay and deadlines to meet. I just wanna end it all and make it go away. I was supposed to leave earlier this summer. I told myself I wouldn't live to see this school year. I hate myself for lying and I hate that I can't just go. Writing letters and getting my room clean sounds like such a pain in the ass that I can't bring myself to do it. My mom also spent a lot on me for back to school recently because I wanted to try a new style and I'm also so guilty about that why did I let her do that?? So now I feel indebted to her and also so guilty like what the fuck type of kid tells their mom ,"I wanna kill myelf," cuts, then makes her pay so much for them? I'm so fucking sick of myself. It's the same way for my best friend. She doesn't deserve to know all this shit- what type of best friend tells their friend that they wanna die? And she always says that she's here to listen if I need to talk but I can never talk to her and I never wanna burden her like that again because she didn't even deserve the first time and I can't believe I did that to her. I can't talk to anyone and my mom wants to get me a therapist but I'm not gonna make her pay so much for me again, I'm just a waste of money to keep here if I'm gonna die so soon I wanna just go. I've already outstayed my welcome because I was supposed to die this summer but I wasn't strong enough. I just wanna leave already.
Can anyone help with my very small problem? (BEFORE U READ PLEASE NOT I AM NOT TRANSPHOBIC OR HOMOPHOBIC AND I DO APOLOGISE IF WHAT IVE SAID HAS OFFENDED U IN ANY WAY!)I don't know how to be around my lifelong best friend anymore without every conversation being like I'm talking to a 10 yr old boy who googled swears and inappropriate words and now uses them all the time. Not to mention how much he gets on my nerves by replying to most in person questions with ur mum (i never text him cuz tbh its worse). He's changed too much and it feels like he's not Lily anymore. I'm not transphobic and I fully support him but sometimes I wish we could just go back to playing pterodactyls in the outside play area in my primary school before he left and only met back up after 7 years in high-school. I'm not a controlling friend and I don't push him to do anything. He just doesn't understand me anymore. (Wow this actually got me almost into tears. Ik this is a long vent xD)
If I were in this situation, I would tell my friend the swears and words make me uncomfortable. I'd also ask them to be a little more serious when I need to ask a question. If he's your friend he'd understand and compromise to make you feel comfortable. You don't have to take my advice, I'm just saying what I'd do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Hey, trans guy here. I think you should talk to your friend about this. I have a feeling he is very insecure (most young trans people are). He is acting this way because he thinks it is "masculine" and "cool". He is trying to validate his gender. Just let him know there is no certain way to act like a boy and you can still be kind and be a boy. Trans guys and boys in general are taught that being kind is being weak, so just remind him that he doesn't have to cuss or make ur mom jokes to be seen as a boy. I hope this helps.
I am insane after I got seperated from my online friends. I'm about to kill myself without them. I miss them. I hate life. I hate life. I hate life I hate life I hate life I hate life I hate life I really do.
what do i do am i nonbinary genderfluid or bigender or agender what is this why is it so confusing occasionally feel like both genders at the same time its so confusing sometimes i dont even know what gender i feel it keeps changing its so hard to keep track of and i dont know how to label it sometimes i get dysphoria and sometimes im fine??? what is it what is happening to me sorry for wasting your time though lol somethings just wrong with my brain ig XD
4:29 Not gonna lie this is kind of dumb why would you put on my hero academia edit into a playlist that people listen to when they’re sad I mean this is so dumb
