Video Game Movie Disasters 

Bloodrayne is a terrible adaptation. Fun detail: In the scene where Rayne is used as a carnival attraction, one of the cheering extras in the audience forgot to remove his wristwatch, making a giant anachronism. And who was the forgetful extra? Uwe Boll of course. Nothing but quality from the maister of cräp.

You need to know, the rules for the funds (the "Filmförderung") were not changed out of thin air, they were changed because of Uwe Boll's awful movies. Sadly, these funds were originally meant for young filmmakers being able to finance bigger projects. Boll not even made movies that were so bad they made people genuienly angry, he really hurt the young German movie industry. Being associated with those funds is how Boll was able to secure the high class actors he worked with, too, by the way.

Kingsley saying “ungrateful bitch” with zero expression absolutely killed me

I watched HotD with (german) commentary by Uwe himself. This commentary is quite entertaining. Especially when he talks about the boobs of the surviving girl. He says they are so big because she had a baby at that time. Then he says it was the ugliest baby he had ever seen. Classy guy.

Til Schweiger is funny in that he looks like he would have a badass low tone voice but when he actually speaks he sounds like James Franco doing a Tommy Wiseau impression.

It is shocking how Boll was able to get some great actors (Ben Kingsley, Til Scweiger, Udo Kier, Christian Slater, Michelle Rodriguez, Jürgen Prochnow, Billy Zane, Michael Madsen etc.) and does NOTHING with them. I can only assume Boll has blackmail materiel on them - or can offer some crazy tax write-off/financial incentive. He probably has a vault of stolen gold.

One thing you maybe not know about Uwe Boll is that he adds scenes on demand to his movies for individual sponsors. If a financier likes sword fights, the zombie movie gets a sword fight.

Theres something really funny about how far cry is more "alone in the dark" than alone in the dark

I'm German and "flabbergasted" that Schweiger ever starred in a movie by good ol' Uwe. Thank you so much for this breakdown I haven't laughed so much in a long time

I just LOVE how you pronounce Uwe. In german, it's kind of a name for a boring, slightly older guy. By replacing the german 'e' with the english 'e', you make it sound like 'Uwi', a term of endearment or pet name. But the one that costs the least creative effort to come up with. Really, you got me giggling all over this meta-pun, even if it isn't indentend in your movies. And I meant to type videos, but the hell, good old Sigmund at work.

The Doom movie truly is the best bad film of all time

Fun fact: JK Simmons had a small role in the Postal movie

Uwe Boll is a visionary filmmaker who is way ahead of its time! every single one of his movies is Oscar material, but the common people aint ready yet for such brilliance! his CG-effects are bad on purpose, to emphasize the fact that all his movies play in an alternate reality called... *drumroll . . . "THE UWE-VERSE"

First time I saw Alone in the Dark I was blind drunk and remembered enjoying the movie. A few years later out of curiosity I watched the movie sober... I couldn't figure out what I found enjoyable about the movie, even being drunk.

I am loving these new videos you're putting out. I found you through your Postal video with no prior knowledge of who you were and I subscribed like 10 minutes into watching it. Long-ass videos about random topics are honestly the best things on RU-vid.

ironically, my best friend worked at the restaurant that Bol had run. It was surprisingly more successfull than his film career, until it eventually shut down in '17

You, my friend, are a scholar and a gentleman. Thank you for another entertaining video sprinkled with fucking hilarious commentary. They will sing songs about you throughout the ages.

Your video actually taught me something, for a long time now Ive wondered why does anyone put effort, time and money into making garbage media. tax breaks and rich people malarkey made sense out of it for me, thnks

Let's not forget that Uwe Boll also made the BEST videogame adaptation of all time, POSTAL.

You missed In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale which is absolutely the best of Boll. Jason Statham as a character named "Farmer" because he believes you should "be named what you do", etc. Pretty magical.

I loved his house of the dead movie as a kid. Watched it recently, and I thought it was incredibly goofy, but so were the games, and looking back at it now, I think he captured the feel of the games pretty well

never heard of the director, even as a German. but after watching this, I claim him as my biggest inspiration! his work taught me that I absolutely don't have to be good at something in order to do it. I'm an artist, and have always had high standard for myself... well, scew that! no standards at all from now on. only fun and nonsense!

Man the praise for witcher sadly did not age well... At least Dune and TR still hold up!

I can't believe how many well known actors are playing in Bloodrayne. If anyone is wondering, the actor of tarot reading woman in bloodrayne is also portraying the medium that the mother from Guillermo del Toros "The Orphanage" movie consults.

He actually says, "God, ain't love a bitch." But it's a Uwe Boll film, so you can be forgiven for your error, dude. Excellent vid, btw. 😁

Just finished Mr. Robot recently which turned out the be uncontestably my all-time favourite show and OH BOY how satisfying it is to see an actor glow-up when actually given the opportunity to showcase their talent like Christian Slater

Great stuff as always! You always manage to make me laugh out loud in each video.

Ah yes, our german new age pride of art

I love these movie-length documentaries, especially when humorous and well-done like yours.

01:01:55 Fun Fact: That's German actor Ralf Moeller who had a cameo as one of the Arkham Asylum guards in Batman and Robin 1997.

I just watched House of the Dead like a week ago. The boat actually does have contraband on it. That’s why they take off when Simon pays them to leave. I thought the same thing as you at first but later in the movie they show them unloading whatever it is to the island of the dead. They have it stashed in a cooler with a fake top on it. I honestly don’t remember what exactly the contraband is because it’s hard to pay attention to this movie because it’s so bad but I remember the Captain telling Salish to unload it and then he opens the cooler, pulls off a fake ice and fish top and underneath is the contraband lol.

Uwe Boll is gonna fight you IRL for this. LOL.

"Do you want the movie to be more like Dead Island or House of the Dead?" Uwe Bohl: "Yes" Jokes aside,there are great b category movies(i actually like them more than hollywood blockbusters) and then there is Uwe Bohl

Haha this is brilliant mate, such a great effort put into this video, keep the good stuff coming 😀

Yo Ive noticed that RU-vid has been especially difficult on you with these long format videos. They're really entertaining and I always enjoy watching them, so I hope you can rise above the system. Good luck!

Great video and you should def play the now tragically forgotten but amazing original Bloodrayne and/or Nocturne

why am I one of the first commenters to a random youtuber I've never watched talking about a director who's movies I've never watched

I lowkey love uwe films. Postal especially is pretty damn great. Mainly carried by the fantastic postal dude portrayal. The movies are trash, but in a weird way, they are like golden trash. Except for bloodrayne and alone in the dark. Those can fuck off.

As with all your videos really enjoyed watching this, really good watch and dam this did not feel like 1.5 hours watching it! Cant wait for the next video!

I was worried for a moment I hadn't seen any new videos from you. Thanks bro! Life is s***** but ain't it f****** great! At 22 minutes I think he says ain't love a b****. The 54 minute mark... F****** genius!

"... You... created the.... serum, so you could be imortal...why?" 🤣🤣

For those whose memories got evoked by the song from 53:55, it's the main theme from Crysis 2. Anyhow, did Meat Loaf just cracked a Prequel Meme at 1:17:04 ?

The thing about Uwe Boll is that he clearly hates filmmaking for someone who claims to love it so much. Like, he clearly has nothing but contempt for his crew. He doesn’t want to take the time to get multiple takes. He doesn’t even like working with his actors. He just berates them until the take is complete. That’s why his movies are so stapled together. He gets the script, throws out half of it, then films the second half, only he doesn’t get enough coverage and the sound is awful. So, the poor editor has to try and stitch the film together with whatever is barely usable. That’s why so much of House of the Dead’s story is told through mindless ADR. As a filmmaker, it’s amazing to see.

Glad for vpns because fair use! This was a fun watch. I am so glad more and more people are seeing your reviews and thoughts on the other films and games you have done breakdowns on. It makes me so happy you are hopefully making enough you can do this full-time. You rock and I also love the mummy and tomb raider movies.

I love how shitty those sword props are in Bloodrayne

Damn, when Uwe Boll says you're a shit actor...

Commenting to boost you in the algorithm. This was nice to have on in the background while working. If you get the chance to see the documentary Raging Boll, you should give it a watch. I find Boll to br a very interesting person, even if his movies are terrible.

Man... Almost an hour and a half long. I can imagine the thickness of your script for this one. Great dedication 👏

I feel like i (a native german) am legally bound to apologize for having set Uwe Boll free on the earth, so uh sorry

House of the Dead. Clint Howard…a lot of lookalikes too. I am pretty sure that one of those guys thinks he is Ryan Reynolds. The explosion with the chick running is…stimulating. I laughed when you said that Boll was up to something there. Very nice review. I think you found a niche.

Had to stay up to watch this once I started! Gotta be up in 3 hours! Well done mate your best one yet!

Great content! Would like to see your take on some other Uwe Boll flicks! Rampage and Blubberella !

His videogame adaptation about Postal is actually very accurate, its just the people who don't play the game that bashed the movie.

I could relate to the commentary at the Bloodrayne adaptation. Besides the problems of adapting something much longer and interactive into a short, non-interactable experience, I found that I actually liked quite a few adaptations I didn't know the source material of. The Far Cry movie is a good example actually - it's exactly my kind of garbage humor, so I find it pretty enjoyable. But I also don't really care about it not hitting the tone of Far Cry because I don't play those games. I also actually really liked the Hobbit movies while my father, who's a huge fan of all the Tolkien books, absolutely loathes them - it's the only time I ever saw him (in his 50s back then) blow his top akin to an angry fan online. Most of the time, adaptations like these don't feel as "for the fans" as the word adaptation seemingly often is interpreted as.

This channel is my new obsession , i love watching your content while i edit.

Thanks for another great video. Sorry to see it's been copyright striked

Very interesting video. I'd like to mention a few things too: Recently Boll's latest movie "Hanau", about the racist attack that happened in Hanau 2020. This movie is a different kind of one. Boll did make many movies based on real events, like "Darfur", "Auschwitz", "Heart of America" and "Max Schmeling". And now this. Of course it was controversial in Germany but he made it. At the end this movie was about 75 minutes long, with a sort of accurate recreation, without many emotions or music. It mostly showed Tobias R., the attacker, talking to someone whom he believes is watching him, makes strange messages, walks to the buildings, kills people and walks out. His victims show more emotions. After over 1 hour of movie, being filmed in his recent home town Mainz (visible by varous signs) he appears as himself, showing the real places in Hanau, talking about it in his typical way. The movie ends with a scroll featuring all victims of racists attacks in Germany from 1990 and 2020. When Uwe Boll had his 50th birthday in 2015 his movies were shown on "Tele5", a German TV station that is known for showing independent movies, B-Movies, trash etc. Their most popular show is the awesome show "SchleFaZ - the worst movies of all times", an MST3K-type show, only with more concentration on the movie. So during his birthday he was asked 50 questions on the street. And it shows that shows that Boll is a guy who, as we say in Germany, didn't fall on his mouth (aka is not shy). Some of his answers are: Worst director ever: Michael Bay Favorite film, except for your own: Apocalypse Now Star Trek or Star Wars: Star Wars Favorite Bollwerk (wordplay between Boll-Werk= a piece made by Boll or Bollwerk=German word for supporting stakes on houses): (after thinking) Rampage Worst Bollwerk: House of the dead Sharknado: The first one was funny. And with Tara Reed (whom he called "worst actress ever" and called her a "stupid B****" in an earlier question) Oh yes: When SchleFaZ premiered in the first season in 2013 Boll released a video thanking the hosts that none of his movies were shown: "That shows, you guys have good taste and my movies are awesome ones." He ended by announcing his new movie "Assault on Wall Street". During his birthday one episode of SchleFaZ began with him saying: "The worst movies of all Times - SchleFaZ. Brought to you by .... me." He also was on a "Mean Tweets"-type show where he called video game producers "poor ridiculous sausages" who "produce shit" and that he was never interested in video games. He also called actors "cheap w***es" who will play any shit if they get money. When someone wrote "I broke the Bloodrayne-DVD after I watched it - for 11 minutes" he replied "Another idiot who played for it. Thank's for the 12,99 (or whatever price he mentioned)"

Yep, I watched the whole video. You could have done a video for every movie, but you decided to do it this way, and I like it. Lots of work and effort. Good job.

I can’t find films that are made as a cash grab, or deliberately bad, entertaining. A good B-movie is a spectacular failure even when everyone involved tried.

You are so good to listen to, maybe not the best video to say this one cause its one the older ones, but please keep on with the videos

I wonder, what it would look like if Boll would make a movie based on one of those walking simulators like "What Remained Of Edith Finch" or "The Vanishing of Ethan Carter" or "Everybody's Gone To The Rapture". Or one of the deep adventure games like "Last Guardian", "Shadow of the Colossus". Or even one of those artsy games like "Journey".

Alone in the Dark always makes me sad, not the film but the games. I played I think the 2nd one, where you crash on the island, and it was actually one of the scarier games I played as a kid, Resident Evil was never scary, but Alone in the Dark actually managed to be scary with how dark it was, the character who starts with no weapon but a light, and needing to actively turn off lights to progress sometimes which then made enemies spawn. I wish we could get a good remake of that game, it had such cool ideas for the times, and I feel like it could be awesome if somebody made it properly.

I just clicked on a random video for background noise, but this was too funny. If you haven't already, please do the second HOTD. I remember watching it years ago and it's just as bizzare 🤣New sub!

Really enjoyed the commentary, you're a pretty funny guy. 👍🏻

And yes, in some fantasy universes, just plain water hurts vampires. In Warhammer, running water hurts most vampires, and some very cursed just any water (as far as I'm aware, fresh water and not rain, must be a... splash) in more amount than a bucket can hurt or even stun them.

I love how you increase the sense of "tf I'm watching??" for every scene somehow 😂

The guy who plays Krieger in the Far Cry film is Udo Kier. He is most well known for playing Yuri in Command & Conquer Red Alert 2.

I admire how you present your commentaries, find it entertaining! Really damn good, sir! Happy to see you. After watching your video, I achieve a conclusion, this movies are a launching pad for this actors, saw them in other movies - far more serious then this madness; if they can keep a straight face during the whole shait that happens in there, voice lines, etc., they can do anything :))) I'm giving this, to this shitness named, movie. Was a pleasure, thank you!

He actually responded to a tweet I made about Paul W. S. Anderson taking his mantle after I'd watched one of the Resi Evil films. I thought it was a troll at first 🤔🤣

Since we're at it, what do you guys think about the toxic avenger series, or the poultrygeist movie? 😂

Watching this I realise I've seen most these on the horror channel, may god have mercy on my soul. Is this shame on me or shame on uwe? Top content. I know a guy in the US that makes a living securing funding for movies, it's all about tax breaks

Finally the tease in your postal vid is real. NOW TIME TO GET THE MANHUNT ONE

The man, the myth, the legend of shite movies! It's been a really fun video to watch. Same as your analyses of the games, I'm looking forward to seeing some more cinema stuff!

I played the original Blood royane and trust me the movie had no connection for the games ...I mean even the setting and plot are very different from each ever

I'd love to see you talk about things like the original Death Race 2000, and Deadly Prey "the most violent movie of all time" (heads up, it's not) Maybe Hercules in New York, featuring the Legend that is Arnie.

In Alone in the Dark, the scene at the 41 minute mark of the video. You can see the actor (who is suppose to be dead), get about half a second before the cut. I was amazed

A movie length totally pointless vid? Has Christmas come early?

The guy who played the honourable cab driver who sacrificed his life and job for the paranormal ninja is actually a great actor. He has done a bit of work with Seth Green.

This is fantastic! Keep up the great work!

I feel like I should highlight as well that the "creature in spine" thing was probably ripped off from The Tingler film with Vincent Price.

Uwe boll films where some of my most fun terrible horror movie nights. Also the soundtrack for alone in the dark was a banger.

19:52 Can you honestly blame anyone? That's the most interesting part of the movie Also the guy who played the MC in the Far Cry movie, Till Schweiger is one of the german acting legends. The movies he stars in are actually really good ranging from hilarious to heartbreakingly sad

The Orphanage house is right down the street from me. It’s been abandoned since. It really looks like a horror movie now.

Nothing to be ashamed about enjoying B movies. They represent the ultimate synthesis of the zeitgeist of the times. Meant to sell on the cheap, they bring to a point a snapshot of all that cinema is when it's made. A terrible, terrible snapshot. God they're so wonderfully, awfully bad.

I gotta give it to the man. He truly feeds off the hate. He's making movies still to this very day. He's doing what he loves and doesn't give a guck what people say. He also backs up what he's saying. He's not afraid to literally fight his detractors.

when he started slinging around the r slur like his life depended on it i knew this guy was gonna be such a nice person

Anyway, I love your videos and am now going to binge them until my brain melts. In the meantime, I would like to see a second try at a Warcraft movie made by Uwe Boll. Heh.

53:55 where is this from? i recognise it

Idk man, you gotta give respect to the guy who boxes critics, who actually showed up to fight him, and won.

I don't love his films, but I love him.

I laughed out loud at the "ranked game of Siege" line. Well done.

they are smuggling stuff, the guns the captain digs get out of the box implies that I thought maybe im wrong

Yes to BLubberella. Bloodrayne is the only one of these I've made it through, and it's a decent "straight to video" B movie.

Gotta give it to Uwe, casting Jürgen Prochnow as the captain is actually hilarious. And the gun joke in Far Cry is also objectively hilarious, there's no debate about it.

Thanks for the Review. Im gonna watch some of those . I love thes kinda B movies because it doesnt force the viewer to something and is easy to watch aside :)

I love how fucking DUMB the whole “YOU WON’T GET ANY MORE FUNDING, until you’ve produced some results!!!” But aren’t results, the result of investment into the science? It’s always dumb

This was a great watch; hope the RU-vid debacle and few detractors don't put a bad taste in your mouth, "long form" videos aren't easy but you've got a knack for it and I'm looking forward to more! That said, Postal notwithstanding, I truly believe Boll has - one - good movie in him, buried somewhere in a video game license nobody needed an adaptation of

My brother in christ, don't ever say Witcher is a faithful adaptation ever again. Please.

Dr. Lucas Krieger actor, Udo Kier, also voiced and acted Yuri in Red Alert 2, as a mad scientist too!

Love your videos keep it up